InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Falling to Pieces ❯ Love ( Chapter 5 )
[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]
By: breesasha 
Kagome's problems with Sess's "needing a break"
Anime/Manga: InuYasha Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Angst / Drama | Type: Other | Uploaded On: 11.20.2010 | Pages: 1 | Words: 1.3K | Visits: 311 | Status: Completed
Kagome's problems with Sess's "needing a break"
Anime/Manga: InuYasha Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Angst / Drama | Type: Other | Uploaded On: 11.20.2010 | Pages: 1 | Words: 1.3K | Visits: 311 | Status: Completed
The love I have for you is indescribable, unbelievable, intense, and overwhelming. I desire you with
intensity so overwhelmingly strong that it cripples me. You’re like a drug I’m addicted to, like the air in
my lungs. Without you, I have nothing. I’ve gotten to the point where I made you the center of my
idolatry, the very fiber of my being, the other half of my soul. Basically you’re an extension of me! But
that’s not healthy.
This self-induced break has been nothing more than the most perfect situation. A chance for both of
us to breathe. I’ve allowed you to be too much in my life and to be too important to function correctly.
You have taken over my heart, my thoughts, my mind, and my everything. It’s both unnatural and not
right. I was smothering you, just as much as you were smothering me. I was just a little too caught up
in being the perfect girlfriend, the perfect daughter, and the perfect student, that I stopped being
myself. It’s not good for us to meld into one person, when we become “one”; we lose a bit of
ourselves in the process.
I don’t want to be the girl who is there for everyone, who can save the day, who can make anyone
feel better, who is smart, nice, polite, respectful, sophicated, sweet, and caring. I want to be the girl
who’s real, because at times I feel like none of that is real. I want to be more than just that girl who’s
thrown so high up on the pedestal. I deserve to be more than just that, that girl who’s up on top of the
world all the time. Sometimes she wants to come down off her high horse and enjoy life where
everyone else is.
And you’re right, Sesshomaru, maybe I am just using you as a guide to a freer life, maybe I don’t really
need you or love you as much as I thought I do. But I know whatever we feel for each other, it’s
intense, it’s real, it’s powerful but none of us know how to deal with that because it’s foreign to both
of us. I am in no way used to having to care for or about someone so much and although I wish for you
to be mine, maybe this break is the best thing for us. So far it’s been just 2 short days, and I know
you’re really stressed because you aren’t even updating Facebook, you aren’t answering anyone’s
calls/texts, and you’ve not left the house since then. You left me an emotional wreck, your eyes
brimming over with tears, your voice shaky, and your emotions stronger than I’ve seen in awhile. I
worry about you, these past 2 days have been almost in agony but I am respecting your decision to
give me space.
When you left me that night, when I dropped you off at Metro, you kissed me so passionately, and
you told me you’ve loved me. And even though I texted you a couple hours after, you told me that I’m
not the problem, and you just need some time to work out your own problems, I’ve believed you and
I’m giving you the space and the time that you so desperately need but it’s difficult for me. You and I
have been almost inseparable since I moved to Sacramento June 7, 2010. A little over 5 months of
being constantly around and up under each other, and the longest I think we’ve ever been separated
was 3 days and even that was unbearable.
So now I’m clinging to things of you…our matching rings, your cds, the last text you sent me, and your
closest friends, because honestly they’re all I have of you. Plus the fleeting memories from the past,
all the good times and bad. As I sit here, writing this about you, I am worrying. Worrying about you,
worrying about us, worrying how much time you’ll need, worrying how much longer I can wait for you
before all the feelings fade to darkness, before all the time has passed and gone too far away. I think I
can wait for you, I want to wait for you, I know I love you, but I’m also impatient and quite lonely. I’ve
told you this once and I’ll tell it to you again, I crave constant attention. Spending time, going out,
movies, phone calls, text messages, hugs, kisses, etc. For you to disappear off the face of the earth for
a week or so, it’s very lonely for me. I want your attention, to feel your hands roam across the small of
my back, to feel your lips brush across mine, to have your mouth ravish mine, to have your hand
squeeze my body, to feel your aggression and passion, to hear you express your devotion to me, to
give me all the satisfaction a girl needs; mind, body, and soul.
I desire to have you against me, to feel you inside of me, to feel the heat our bodies can make, to
make the windows of my car foggy from all we’ve done, to have your tongue trace every inch of my
body, to have your with me constantly. I long for you, and no one can take your place. You are the one
that I love, the love of my life, the only one I’ll ever need, my first and only. But I can’t win, when you
push me away, so far away, I can’t function. I need you, I want you, and you are mine. I want to steal
your pain away, I want to make you mine, I want you to be happy, because you make me so happy,
you mean so much to me, you are my boyfriend but also one of my best friends But I think I made the
mistake of making you my entire world, and that’s not good. I need a reign on these feelings, to put
away all this heavy emotion and go back to the light and airy way of living and way of thinking.
I literally need a break from this insanity, I need a break from you and so I support your decision to be
alone, maybe because it’s the best decision, maybe because we’re both stressing, because we’re
both transitioning into separate lives, into a separate world, and although we are falling apart, we are
also falling together. Both of our lives are in a constant up and down cycle but we can’t seem to make
it stop. Hopefully love will be enough, even though I’ve said many times that it may not be. I am afraid
of losing you, but yet I’m afraid of being with you…maybe it’s the fear of losing the one person who I
have as my complaining, maybe I’m afraid of losing the one person that I met and that I’m happy with.
intensity so overwhelmingly strong that it cripples me. You’re like a drug I’m addicted to, like the air in
my lungs. Without you, I have nothing. I’ve gotten to the point where I made you the center of my
idolatry, the very fiber of my being, the other half of my soul. Basically you’re an extension of me! But
that’s not healthy.
This self-induced break has been nothing more than the most perfect situation. A chance for both of
us to breathe. I’ve allowed you to be too much in my life and to be too important to function correctly.
You have taken over my heart, my thoughts, my mind, and my everything. It’s both unnatural and not
right. I was smothering you, just as much as you were smothering me. I was just a little too caught up
in being the perfect girlfriend, the perfect daughter, and the perfect student, that I stopped being
myself. It’s not good for us to meld into one person, when we become “one”; we lose a bit of
ourselves in the process.
I don’t want to be the girl who is there for everyone, who can save the day, who can make anyone
feel better, who is smart, nice, polite, respectful, sophicated, sweet, and caring. I want to be the girl
who’s real, because at times I feel like none of that is real. I want to be more than just that girl who’s
thrown so high up on the pedestal. I deserve to be more than just that, that girl who’s up on top of the
world all the time. Sometimes she wants to come down off her high horse and enjoy life where
everyone else is.
And you’re right, Sesshomaru, maybe I am just using you as a guide to a freer life, maybe I don’t really
need you or love you as much as I thought I do. But I know whatever we feel for each other, it’s
intense, it’s real, it’s powerful but none of us know how to deal with that because it’s foreign to both
of us. I am in no way used to having to care for or about someone so much and although I wish for you
to be mine, maybe this break is the best thing for us. So far it’s been just 2 short days, and I know
you’re really stressed because you aren’t even updating Facebook, you aren’t answering anyone’s
calls/texts, and you’ve not left the house since then. You left me an emotional wreck, your eyes
brimming over with tears, your voice shaky, and your emotions stronger than I’ve seen in awhile. I
worry about you, these past 2 days have been almost in agony but I am respecting your decision to
give me space.
When you left me that night, when I dropped you off at Metro, you kissed me so passionately, and
you told me you’ve loved me. And even though I texted you a couple hours after, you told me that I’m
not the problem, and you just need some time to work out your own problems, I’ve believed you and
I’m giving you the space and the time that you so desperately need but it’s difficult for me. You and I
have been almost inseparable since I moved to Sacramento June 7, 2010. A little over 5 months of
being constantly around and up under each other, and the longest I think we’ve ever been separated
was 3 days and even that was unbearable.
So now I’m clinging to things of you…our matching rings, your cds, the last text you sent me, and your
closest friends, because honestly they’re all I have of you. Plus the fleeting memories from the past,
all the good times and bad. As I sit here, writing this about you, I am worrying. Worrying about you,
worrying about us, worrying how much time you’ll need, worrying how much longer I can wait for you
before all the feelings fade to darkness, before all the time has passed and gone too far away. I think I
can wait for you, I want to wait for you, I know I love you, but I’m also impatient and quite lonely. I’ve
told you this once and I’ll tell it to you again, I crave constant attention. Spending time, going out,
movies, phone calls, text messages, hugs, kisses, etc. For you to disappear off the face of the earth for
a week or so, it’s very lonely for me. I want your attention, to feel your hands roam across the small of
my back, to feel your lips brush across mine, to have your mouth ravish mine, to have your hand
squeeze my body, to feel your aggression and passion, to hear you express your devotion to me, to
give me all the satisfaction a girl needs; mind, body, and soul.
I desire to have you against me, to feel you inside of me, to feel the heat our bodies can make, to
make the windows of my car foggy from all we’ve done, to have your tongue trace every inch of my
body, to have your with me constantly. I long for you, and no one can take your place. You are the one
that I love, the love of my life, the only one I’ll ever need, my first and only. But I can’t win, when you
push me away, so far away, I can’t function. I need you, I want you, and you are mine. I want to steal
your pain away, I want to make you mine, I want you to be happy, because you make me so happy,
you mean so much to me, you are my boyfriend but also one of my best friends But I think I made the
mistake of making you my entire world, and that’s not good. I need a reign on these feelings, to put
away all this heavy emotion and go back to the light and airy way of living and way of thinking.
I literally need a break from this insanity, I need a break from you and so I support your decision to be
alone, maybe because it’s the best decision, maybe because we’re both stressing, because we’re
both transitioning into separate lives, into a separate world, and although we are falling apart, we are
also falling together. Both of our lives are in a constant up and down cycle but we can’t seem to make
it stop. Hopefully love will be enough, even though I’ve said many times that it may not be. I am afraid
of losing you, but yet I’m afraid of being with you…maybe it’s the fear of losing the one person who I
have as my complaining, maybe I’m afraid of losing the one person that I met and that I’m happy with.