InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Father's Favorite ❯ Armed Robbery? ( Chapter 10 )

[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]

So sorry for the tremendous wait, folks. I recently put out a song fict if any one wants to check that out (to the song, Gonna Tell Everybody by Chrisina Milian) and school is still weighing heavily on my shoulders. Oh well, let me not bore you with the details. Here you go! And remember to remain seated until the chapter is over!

Inuyasha pulled uselessly against Miroku. The other pulled also, but not because of their proximity, but because of the demon cat who was attacking him. After about twenty minutes, Kirara seemed resigned to hurt him any further. The monk now supported two blackened eyes, a swollen lip, an arm that hung at a weird angle, and cuts all over. Inuyasha on the other hand, was completly fine. "Stupid ass cat," Miroku muttered quietly to himself so the cat wouldn't hear him.

They stood up and Inuyasha began pulling again. "I don't think I appreciate your hand all up in my face," he said. "You know, there's an easy way to solve that," Inutaisho said. "Cut it off," he finished just as Sesshomaru was walking out the door. He took a look at them and burst out laughing. "Ha! Go on dad! Yeah, then lets see what you can do with one arm! Bet you can't balance on the toilet! Bet you can't play a PS3! Bet you can't collect easter eggs!" "Why the fuck would I want to collect easter eggs?!" Inuyasha screamed at him. Sesshomaru shrugged. "I dunno, but now you won't be able to just in case you change your mind!" He folded his arm (yeah, one arm!) and stood back to watch them.

Inutaisho went back into the dojo and grabbed Sounga. "See, told you I'd start paying more attention to you. Yes, I know, I know, your feelings are hurt. But now I have a job for you to do. You can do it, can't you Sounga?" Everyone stared at him as he continued to talk to the sword. Sesshomaru gave a sideways glance at Inutaisho, then turned half-way around and pulled out a tape recorder and said into it, "Note to self, watch out for dad. Also, I seem to be having a strange craving for vanilla pudding. Must remember to get some."

Inutaisho walked over, sword in tow, and lifted it. "You know you were always my favorite son, right Inuyasha?" Inuyasha looked up at him with large golden eyes, pleading with him not to do this. "Y-yes," he stammered. "And I'll always like you even with one arm." Like? The bastard can't even say he loves me? "Um, sure. But Sess-" "Relax, my child! Peace be with you! Do not be frightened!" "I'm not! I'm just trying to say that you said that you'll love me with one arm when you don't love Sess--" "Love?!" Inutaisho stopped his preaching and stared at him. "Who the hell said anything about loving anybody?"

Inuyasha dragged him and Miroku away from the sword, the latter looking like he was having seizures from just being near it. Inuyasha glanced at him, turned his head away from him so he wouldn't have to see the foam that was coming from his mouth, then said to his father, "Demons can love. You love my mother, don't you?" Inutaisho blinked at him, then lifted the sword. "Wait, you ignorant mother-fucker! Answer the damn question!" But Inutaisho ignored his son and raised the sword higher.

Just as he was about to bring the blade down inbetween Miroku and Inuyasha, someone shouted from near the palace. "Stop!" Everyone turned their heads to see who it was. Kaede. She walked up to them at a very, very, slow pace. Inutaisho impatiently tapped his foot and checked his watch five times before she finally stood in front of him, ten minutes later. "Hol--hold up a sec while ye catches her breath," she panted. Another ten minutes passed. "Okay, you don't have to cut off the arm of Inuyasha and the lecherous monk's hand." "What the hell are you doing here, Oh Ancient One?" Sesshomaru asked sarcastically. "Telling ye's mama how sorry I am that ye was born," Kaede said in the same tone back.

"No, but really, I came on request of Izayoi," the old woman continued. "She says her glocoma's getting worse, so I brought her some herbs to help her in her aging years. My, those herbs can do wonders... oh, anyways, on leaving I couldn't help but look over and see the predicament the two boys are in. Though both could probably do with losing a limb, Miroku because of his constant floundering, and Inuyasha because he could've done better than to give my sister some second hand lipstick. Nobody wanted ye dead momma's rouge. But, let's let by-gone's be by-gone's. If someone would be so kind as to gather a few things for me, I can create a concoction, along with a spell, that'll free the two of them."

Inutaisho cocked his head in thought. Kagome and Sango shook their heads no, Miroku and Inuyasha was nodding their heads yes, and Sesshomaru was taking a leak in Izayoi's rose bushes. "Noooo!" Inutaisho screamed and ran toward him. Sesshomaru straightened out his clothes and prepared for a fight, but his father ran right past him. Snatching a box of Trix out of a white rabbit's hands, he said, "Silly rabbit, Trix are for kids." Then downed the entire box himself. 3000 going on 3, Sesshomaru thought.

Swallowing hard, Inutaisho said, "Fine, Kaede. I'll send someone to get whatever the hell it is you need. But damnit, I want my prized son back. I'll send that other kid to go get the stuff for you." Pointing to Sesshomaru he said, "You, go get her shit. And hurry up, you still have to scrape the corns from beneath my feet with your claws." Sesshomaru looked like he was about to be sick. Kaede walked up to him and handed him a list.

"These are the things ye need. Bring them quickly, I doubt thy brother and friend would like to bed down together tonight." "It's only 11:30 in the morning," Sesshomaru said, but Kaede held up a hand at the sound of some kind of chirp. A very familiar chirp, one that he had heard somewhere before, like on TV. Kaede pulled a cell phone from her pocket. That would explain it, she had Boost Mobile. "Hey, I'm in Lord Inutaisho's crib gettin' my freak on! Where you at?" A pause, then, "You know where I'm at and I know where you be, and Dantrel knows where we is, so how about we cut out all this shiznit cuz we all know where each other from?" Everyone exchanged glances at one another.

She hung up the phone. "Sorry, that was my home dog, Snoopy. We cool, so he said it's okay that I call him that. So... Sesshomaru, what the hell are ye still doing here?" "You heard the woman, douche bag, get that shit!" Inutaisho said, shoving Sesshomaru towards the surrounding woods. And once again, I play errand boy.

The first thing on the list was some kind of plant that was impronouncable. "What the hell is-ro...rosachi...mili...fuli...carmus? Man, this shit is wack! And how am I supposed to know what it looks like?" After a few minutes of hopping through the trees (and falling through them) he gave up on it because he lacked the grace that his younger brother had gained from using them as his childhood refuge. Two sprained ankels later, he stepped out of the woods and onto a cliff ledge that over looked a village. "Perhaps they can tell me what the fuck ro...sachi...mili...fulicarmus is. Or if it even exists."

He desended down the slope and stopped the first person he came to, a young woman who was carrying a cloth pack on her back. " 'Ey, yo bitch. Can you please tell me what the fuck is rosachimilifulicarmus?" The woman put an indignant hand on her hip, then reached behind her and produced a bow and an arrow. "Leave at once, foul being, or I shall shoot." "Look lady, I don't want any trouble. All I want is to know if you have any of that long ass name I said earlier. If not, then I'll leave you be. If you do, give it here and I'll be on my way. What's with all the hostility?" "You called me a bitch, that's what!" She shrieked. In her hysteria, she released the arrow. It stabbed him in his chest.

Immediatly, he went down. "Cold...so...cold..." he gasped, his voice growing weak. "Oh no!" the woman said, kneeling at his side. "I appologize. You can call me a bitch all you want, just don't die on me! You're gonna grow strong and marry some lucky demoness and you guys are gonna have lots of little demon snots running around taking after their daddy and bossing humans around also." She was almost in tears now. Sesshomaru raised a shaky hand and beckoned her closer with a finger.

She leaned in. "If...if I die...tell my brother...that I love him..." The woman sniffed and nodded. "Okay, if you die, I'll tell your brother that I love him," she said. Sesshomaru's eyes widened in horror and he sat up, ripped the arrow from his chest, and walked off.

"Crazy ass broad," he mumbled to himself. There were many things on the list and still he had not found any ro...sachi..mili...fulicarmus. He sighed. This was definatly going to be a very long day.


And so, there it is. After Kami knows how long, I have finished a chapter! (the words "chapter" echo through the air as I'm standing on a mountain. And why...?). Anyways, of course I hope all of you liked it and please go check out my songfict, though I tried not to be too humorus with it. It's supposed to be sad, though I do admit that near the end, I couldn't help myself! Well, please review! Please? Come on now, don't make me beg! Okay, fine, there, I'm down on my knees (nobody get any wrong ideas!). Now will you review?! Oh, good! Thought I was going to have to use some brute force on ya!