InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Father's Favorite ❯ If Loving You is Wrong, I Don't Want to Be Right ( Chapter 13 )

[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]

So, didn't take too long for me to up-date this time! Hurrah! This chapter also doesn't have much to do with the story, just something else that I wanted to put. Well, it might be mentioned later, but if so, it won't matter too much if you don't read it (though I hope you do!). Anyways, please do read and enjoy! And remember, you're a goofy goober (Spongebob movie)!

Back at the palace, Miroku and Inuyasha eagerly awaited Sesshomaru's return. Sitting on the ground, they watched Inutaisho, who was still talking to Sounga, while they played War with ordianary cards (I say ordinary because for those of you who read that last senseless chapter, you'd know what other kind of cards I was talking about!). Inuyasha laid down the ace of clubs. Miroku laid down the ace of spades. A real war!

"I...D...clare....war!" They said in union, setting down the appropriate amount of cards and flipping over the last one. Inuyasha had played a king, but Miroku's last card was the ace of diamonds. Grinning, he scooped up all of the cards that were between them. "Man, this shit sucks!" Inuyasha screamed, throwing the stack down. He tried to get up and leave, but him being "glued" to Miroku only dragged him back down. "Oh, so you decided to "stick" around?" the monk asked. Inuyasha glared at him for the pun.

A/N: Does anyone understand the rules of War? It's quite simple, really. All you do is, pass out the cards between you and how ever many other players are playing until the deck is gone (minus the jokers). Then you take turns laying down a card. Whoever's card is higher in power (for example, ace beats king, king beats queen, queen...you get it.) wins that hand and takes up both or all of the cards to be used again when the cards that are in their hand runs out (you set those cards aside until then). But, if you and the opponent lay down the same card, you both "declare war", which is what Inuyasha and Miroku were doing. It's broken down into four syllables and you lay a card for each one, flipping over the fourth card. Whoever's is higher, wins everything. You keep going until only one person holds the entire deck again. See, simple. Though...the game can take forever! Okay, get back to reading!

The two boys were were stuck together said little as the game progressed. Inutaisho was oblivious to everyone except his conversation with the sword, and Kaede, who was still outside, was getting blowed up (yeah, I ment to put "blowed up"! It's slang!) with a hairpin twisted around the end of a small joint, a method to hold it by without burning her fingers (I really shouldn't know that...). So, everyone was doing their own thing. Suddenly, a omnious black shadow loomed over them.

"Oh my Buddha! It's a bird!" Miroku said. "No, it's a plane!" Inuyasha corrected him. "No, it's a bird!" Miroku shouted. "You must be blind not to see that it's a plane! Even Ray Charles could've seen that!" "You only know what a plane is by what Kagome's described it as. And that doesn't look like a plane!" "Well, it's no bird either!" Inuyasha huffed. They tried to turn away from eachother but since Inuyasha was linked to him up to his elbow, the most he could get was turning his head to the side.

Everyone watched as whatever it was that was making the shadow decended. A loud moo was heard over the silence. Totosai. The old man looked past all of them, he gaze resting on Kaede. She stood slowly, as though in a dream. Then, she started toward him. The swordsmith walked toward her. Soon they were running, I mean, shuffling towards the other, not being able to "run" due to the fear of breaking something or throwing out their backs or slipping a disk--?

They fiercely embraced one another. Then, after a moment of staring into one another's eyes, they started trading slob. "Ugh!" Everyone said, except Miroku. "Hey, hey, hey! Jackpot!" Inuyasha tried to look away from them, but due to the seating postion they were in, he had no choice but to face the old couple. After they were done, they wiped the dribble from their mouths and, linking their arms around each other's waits, they addressed the crowd.

"I bet you all are wondering--" He paused, swishing his mouth around in a self-conscious circle, then turned to Kaede. "I think you have my dentures." The priestess' eyes widend, then she opened her mouth and spit a pink and white object into Totosai's hands. The old man gave her a peck on the cheek, then put his mouth peice in.

"As I was saying, I quite sure you two are confused as to the even that just happened before you." "More like sickened," Inuyasha mumbled. Totosai's head snapped around at him. "What you say sonny?! Speak up!" Inuyasha's ears lowered, as did his head. Yes, he was punked by the old man.

"Anyways, I-- now where was I? Damnit boy, you done made me lose my track of thought." Kaede whispered something in his ear. "Oh, yes! That's right! As I was saying, me and my sugar lumps here are engaged!" There was no clapping or cheering, only wide-eyed wonderment. Then, Inutaisho finally spoke to Kaede. "If I had known that you were attracted to guys with flying bovine, I would've stolen that cow from him long ago." All heads turned his way. "What? What?! Oh, you can't tell me that Kaede isn't one hell of a woman! Just look at that rump! Check out that rump! Go head, check up on it, boys! Now that's a real woman there!"

"I thought you said that Kikyou was a real woman." Inuyasha said, getting defensive over his old love. "She is too. It runs in the family, you didn't know? Now, they say that if you want to know what your girl is going to look like in the future, you should look at their mother. Well, their momma's probably dead and if she isn't she isn't strong enough for sexual intercourse anyways. So in this case, you'll have to look at the now older sister. And I'll tell ya, I'm lookin' and I'ma likin'!" Everyone's face crumpled up in disgust.

Totosai, though, was seething. "You dare check out my woman! I'll kill you!" He shuffled over to Inutaisho, who continued turning his head this way and that, trying to look at Kaede in different angles. The old man took five minutes to reach him from a distance of two yards. When he finally got up to the glazed-eyed demon, he punched him in the shoulder. A loud pop could be heard afterward. Inutaisho barely moved.

"Oh, my hip!" Totosai wailed. When he had twisted his body back to get some more momentum, he had dislocated his hip. But he was evidently weak and old, so the punch was really more of a pat. Kaede hurried over as fast as she could, stopping to take puffs on the joint along the way. Finally, after another five minutes, she too was where the "action" was happening.

She fiddled around with the old man for a few moments until another loud pop was heard and the hip was back in place. The old couple smiled at eachother again, then was locked into a head-lock and started passionetly making-out again. And the crowed averted their eyes, while Miroku continued to watch on.


Okay, this is the second time that I've done something dealing with elderly love. And why? Well, Valentine's Day is coming, but that has nothing to do with it. Wait, it is, isn't it? Ha! I completly forgot about that! Maybe I should've saved this for that day, that way you guys would've had a nice, romanitc chapter! Naw, just playing! Anyways, be and honest critic and tell me what you think!