InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Feh, It's Probably Me... ❯ You’re not the easiest person I ever got to know ( Chapter 3 )

WAH! I just watched the episode where all this when down, it's so much sadder than I remembered! Ooookay! Part 3! Work, work, work…must get this done with! Please R&R, I love the one's that do! Love you all, Darth Mer-Mer.

You're not the easiest person I ever got to know

And it's hard for us both to let our feelings show

Some would say I should let you go you way

You'll only make me cry

If there's one guy,

Just one guy

Who'd lay down his life for you and die

It's hard to say it

It's hard to say it,

But it's probably me

He had come back through the well…Kagome had stayed. He hadn't cried. Yet. Shippou was sitting on his shoulder griping at him. He already knew the familiar chant to go get Kagome, go apologize to Kagome, bring Kagome back. But this time, he couldn't. And he knew she wouldn't come back on her own. The last image of Kagome he could ever treasure was of her crying, because of him. His ears went flat as he heard Miroku and Sango approaching. They were bantering about clean breaks of relationships. This time he didn't even bother denying it. He and Kagome had had…something. He didn't know exactly what it had been, but it was different than what he had had with Kikyo. Or was going to have with her, he supposed. Then Miroku's word struck a cord. "You want me to break up with her that badly?!" He growled. "Don't you understand that it wouldn't be fair for me to go and drag-" He looked up as they were walking away.

Damn, them…he cursed silently. It wasn't fair, none of it was. What Miroku had said was true. Kagome was suffering more than he was. If that were true, he'd rather be sealed away for another fifty years to spare her the pain. He had to let her down, completely. If just for the fact she wouldn't have to hate him, like Kikyo. He looked down to find his feet carrying him to the Bone Eater's Well. Damn feet.

Won't cry… won't cry.

He took a deep breath. It was the only fair thing he could do. His eyes closed in the half-light of the forest. He couldn't bring her back, he had to go say goodbye like a man. If she did hate him, maybe, in time, she could forget him. He stopped…

Won't cry…can't cry.

He hadn't cried since his mother died. Kagome's mother was protecting her from a monster, just like his mother had been. Why had she stared at him like that? How could she have known he was there? He remembered his mother's words. "Inuyasha, mothers always know." Kagome was so much like his mother in the small ways. The way she looked at him with complete understanding and trust. How could she fear a child? Even if it was half demon. Kagome was the same. It just didn't matter to her, she never ceased being appalled at the people who were cruel to him. He shook his head. None of that didn't matter now. It was about to be over…

Mustn't cry…shh, don't cry.

His feet had slowed. All that did matter was that Kagome could have a chance at being happy. He'd rather die before making her hate him…if that's what it would take so be it. Kikyo was cold…but he had no choice but to stay with her. What had happened was all his fault. Kagome wouldn't say that, his mind whispered. Many things went wrong, not only you messed up. At least you didn't try to kill Kikyo like she tried to kill you. Kagome's mother had spoken of her engagement, if Kagome stayed here, she could never really have that. She deserved a normal life, a family...someone else to protect her. But there was no one who could do that as well as he could! He swallowed the pain down his throat. You made your choice, deal with it and hurry before she hates you more.

Gods don't let me cry…I can't start crying.

He didn't think he'd be able to-

The sun hit him in the face and he stopped at the clearing to the well. She was there…Kagome was there! He found himself starting to smile as his heart sped up. Then he remembered what he had to say to her. His heart might as well have stopped beating.

Kagome looked up, her hair swirling in the wind. The sparrow at her feet flew away with her movement. They had flown with his voice on their wings. All the things he had planned to say were gone. There was only Kagome's serene face and the overwhelming need to cry at what he was about to lose. "Ka…gome…"

She stood and looked him straight in the eyes. "I thought a lot about you and Kikyo on the other side. And me too." She made a strained effort to smile. It was bitter, but because it was her smile, he looked away. It was too hard.

"I…"

She stopped him. "I know. Because I understand your feelings…I thought that I couldn't come back because I know how you feel, about Kikyo." The slightest waver crept into her voice as she said the dead miko's name.

He sighed. He had forgotten so much in the short time he was away from her. The tone of her voice, her scent…how simply beautiful she was. To keep from crying and running to her, he tried to tell her. Tried to tell her everything that was breaking his heart and why. This is what came out. "Kagome, before I met you, I couldn't trust anyone. But you always cried for my sake." Gods, she was looking at him. He could feel her eyes on him, without looking he knew her eyes sad and hopeful at the same time. He couldn't bear to look up, the tears would win their silent battle. He continued, "You were always there for me. It was fun being with you. You," he paused, "made my heart feel at ease." He looked up again, it wasn't fair not to look at her. She deserved to be told this with out him looking at his feet. "But, I can't have fun or let my heart be at ease! Kikyo…" He saw her flinch, her face crumbling at the edges. "Kikyo died, because of me! Now, I must pay her back with my life." He looked away again.

"I know, I know that I can't compete with Kikyo…" She looked to the sky. "Because I'm still living for you." Her legs finally failed her. She sat down on the edge of the well. "I thought a lot about Kikyo too. She and I are so different. Even though they all say that I'm her reincarnation, I'm still Kagome. For a while I tried to convince myself that I only loved you because some part of Kikyo was still in me. But, I think, I think, I only have her soul. You see, my heart is only my heart. And I love you because my heart is my own." Her hands dug into the edge of the well until he could see her knuckles turn white. "Although, I do understand one of Kikyo's feelings. And for some reason that made me feel calm and because it was my own feelings and no one else's." She turned to face him, eyes haunted.

He wondered to himself if Kikyo had already taken him to hell. There wasn't anything worse than what he knew Kagome was going to say. She hated him, just like Kikyo. It would never change. It was some cruel karmic wheel that wouldn't cease until he died. Maybe it would be easier in the long run to hear it from Kagome's mouth…he had never heard Kikyo say the words to him until after she died. Can't cry. Let her go home after she says she hates me. It's your own fault, she hates you. Afterwards, you can cry until your icy lover comes to take you to hell if you aren't there already. She hates you.

"Like Kikyo, I wanted to see Inuyasha one more time."

He couldn't help but gasp and in that moment, he gave away everything in his heart. The wind started to blow again.

"And because of that, I found enough courage to come and see you again…" She turned her head away as the sound of the wind rustled through the trees.

In his mind and heart Inuyasha thought, Kagome, more than anything I wanted to see you too, but…

"I want to be with you, Inuyasha…" He couldn't see her eyes as the wind blew her hair in thick, soft waves around her face. "I could never do such a thing as to forget you…" The wind swept through the gap between them, whispering words unsaid, but not unthought.

He was torn, the need for her was slowly overpowering his need to make her go. She knew everything, yet here she was. In his heart, he knew that she was going to be here. She had always been there for him. She always would be, but-

Kagome, he thought, how am I supposed to answer to that…?

As if reading his mind, she spoke the question that had been left unspoken. "Inuyasha, just answer one thing for me." She stood and walked to him, fists held tight at her sides. In truth she was trying not to bolt. But to Inuyasha's eyes, she looked like a goddess, strong and sure, her hesitant smile lighting up the world. Maybe it was her that had blinded him coming out of the forest…not the sun.

She looked at him, eyes echoing every fear she had ever know coming together with her one singular question. It was the span of two heartbeats before she said, "Is it alright for me to stay with you?"

To be continue as soon as I have enough feedback! Love you all, Darth Mer-Mer

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