InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Figment of Imagination ❯ Pool's Fool ( Chapter 5 )

A/N: 1) I really hope that all of you have gone to the bathroom before you read this. And don't go blaming me if you pissed in your pants out of laughter. Trust me, this chapter will all be HUMOUROUS! [sp?] aha. Alright, here's the chapter.

Chapter 5: Pool's fool

Kagome woke up the next morning due to the shouts of 'bastard!' , 'bitch!', and 'fuck you's.' Kagome groaned, no doubt that Uncle Hiten had come by and visit with the rest of her cousins. She got up, took a shower, got dressed and went downstairs. Once there, she heard her father shout 'mine's bigger!', Kagome giggled. Then realization hit her, was her dad talking about the size of his? OH NASTY! Sango appeared behind her and gagged.

"Was he talking about his?" Kagome asked looking downward. Sango giggled, she was just thinking the same thing as well.

"I don't know, and I don't want to know either," Sango responded. Kagome giggled and they both went into the kitchen. There they found Kikyou hitting her head on the wall repeatedly, Ayame, Kanna, and Myrna were on the floor laughing and clutching their stomachs, Jade and Kagura were sitting in their respective chairs hands on their heads sighing. And finally, Naraku and Hiten, were screaming and yelling as if the world was coming to an end.

"Mine is bigger then yours!" Hiten screamed.

"No mine is!" Naraku screamed back. Kagome just looked at the scene before her in bewilderment. Sango was gaping at Kikyou who now had a tomato red forehead.

"Daddy?" Kagome said hoping to catch her father's attention, but as she figured it was a fruitless effort.

"Shut up Hiten! My sausage is bigger!" Naraku yelled.

"NO! You shutup Naraku! My sausage is bigger!" Hiten yelled back. Kagome's eyes widen and Sango gagged. 'Ewww! They were talking about the size of their manhood.'

"See? It's bigger!" Hiten said. Kagome looked away and Sango burst out laughing. Her father and uncle were fighting about how big their sausages were, not their manhood! Sango poked Kagome and pointed at Hiten and Naraku, Kagome's eyes widen when she saw her uncle and father measuring the sausages with measuring tape.

"Daddy?" Kagome said again, this time catching Naraku's attention.

"Ayame and I are suppose to go back to the auditions again today to see who won, are you coming?" Kagome asked.

"Sure sweetie," Naraku said.

"Shit, the sausages are the same size," Hiten said.

"Well mine's thicker," Naraku said.

"Naraku shut up!" Kagura cried.

"Yes dear," Naraku grumbled.

"Good, now everyone will go to the auditions place to see who won, and if Ayame or Kagome wins we will accompany her to America, deal?" Jade said.

"Deal!" Everyone said in unison except for Ayame and Kagome who were now scowling at them.

"I won't win, but she will," Ayame said pointing at Kagome.

"Me?" Kagome asked pointing at herself.

"Yes you, I made sure that Kouga suggests that you make it," Ayame said proudly.

"I'm going to kill you Ayame!" Kagome screamed and lunged at her, but she was caught in mid air by Naraku.

"You will act like civilized people in this house," Naraku said.

"Speak for yourself," Kagome mumbled.

---

"Father, must I be a judge, surely Inuyasha and Miroku can do it," Sesshoumaru complained for the umpteenth time.

"Yes, but Miroku will give all of them high scores while Inuyasha will ask them stupid questions," InuTaisho said, Miroku snickered at his father's last comment.

"Hey! I will not do that!" Inuyasha argued.

"Yes Inuyasha, we all know you won't do that," Miroku said patting Inuyasha's head earning a growl.

"Shut up Miroku!" Inuyasha snapped.

"Hey Mr. Taisho!" Kouga called.

"Kouga, didn't I say to call me InuTaisho?" InuTaisho asked.

"Yup, but I keep forgetting," Kouga said scratching his head. InuTaisho laughed.

"Are they here?" Sesshoumaru asked coming into the room.

"Yes they are," Kouga said.

"Let's go then," Miroku said Inuyasha following behind him. Once they were all outside they sat down where the judges usually sat. (A/N: Don't know what to call it)

"Good morning everyone," InuTaisho said into his microphone.

"Good morning," the girls and their families said in unison.

"You all know why we called you back here, today we will be announcing the winner who shall go on to represent Japan in the Miss Universe Pageant," Miroku said.

"Now, we want to tell you that each and everyone of you who participated that it wasn't easy choosing the winner, for all of you put on stunning performances yesterday," Inuyasha put in.

"Unfortunately there is only one winner, if we could we would pick all of you. But we can't, and we are sorry. We just want to say thank you all for participating and for putting such effort in your performances," Kouga said.

"Now, Sesshoumaru can you please announce the winner," InuTaisho ordered. Sesshoumaru nodded and looked around the room and spotted Kagome with her family.

"The one woman who shall represent Japan in the Miss Universe Pageant is Miss Kagome Higurashi," Sesshoumaru said looking at Kagome.

"Miss Higurashi, can you please stay with the rest of your family while the other competitors make their way out of the building," InuTaisho said.

---

Kagome just stood their awestruck. Now she really was going to kill Kouga! Can she get out of this? There must be a way right? But she can't, for it would bring dishonour to the Higurashi name. Besides, she didn't want that Kira Velasco to say that Kagome was a chicken or something.

"Congratulations Honey," Kagura said hugging her daughter.

"That's my girl!" Naraku said happily.

"Hah! We told you that you would win!" Kikyou said happily.

"Yes! Uncle Hiten owes me money!" Sango said. Jade raised an eyebrow at her husband.

"Here's your twenty dollars Sango," Hiten said.

"MY DAUGHTER WON AGAINST YOURS!" Naraku said happily shoving it in Hiten's face.

"Naraku, be quiet this instant," Kagura hissed.

"Sorry," Naraku mumbled. Everyone was engulfing Kagome in hugs, and the only thought that crossed her mind was 'Kill Kouga'.

"Congratulations Kagome," InuTaisho said smiling at the beautiful young girl.

"Thank you sir," Kagome said bowing. InuTaisho smiled, while Miroku went to get to know each Higurashi girl.

"Hentai!" Sango screamed hitting Miroku across the head.

"He never learns does he?" Inuyasha said to no one in particular.

"Apparently not little brother," Sesshoumaru said glancing at Miroku.

"Hey `Gome! Congratulations!" Kouga said. Kagome glared daggers at him.

"I'm going to kill you Kouga," Kagome said lunging at him, she fell on top of her target. And started strangling him. Everyone just watched while Kouga kept screaming 'Can't breathe!'

"Should we help him?" Inuyasha asked.

"Nope, she's going to get over it in 15 minuets," Ayame said giggling. Sesshoumaru raised an eyebrow at the girl.

"Is he not your boyfriend?" Sesshoumaru inquired.

"Yup, but it's not everyday you see Kagome loose her temper," Ayame responded.

"Kagome let him go!" Kagura cried.

"Kagura Higurashi?" Mira asked. Kagura's eyes widen at the sight of her friend from high school, and Jade as well. Soon afterwards the three forgot about Kagome strangling Kouga and started talking.

"Kagome! Let me go!" Kouga cried finally prying the young girls' hands free from his neck.

"No," Kagome said and punched him where the sun don't shine.

"OW! FUCKING SHIT THAT HURT LIKE HELL!" Kouga cried in pain clutching his manhood. The rest burst out laughing while Sesshoumaru chuckled.

---

Everyone was in the Taisho's game room. The Taisho's had invited the Higurashi clan to celebrate Kagome winning. Kagome didn't think it was necessary but Kikyou and Sango jumped at the chance, and her parent's didn't mind at all. So now she was sitting playing DDR with Mira. While Sango, Kikyou and the rest of her cousin's were playing Asshole, (A/N: It's also called President) and the rest of the guys we're playing Pool.

"Damn it Sesshoumaru!" Inuyasha cried as Sesshoumaru won yet another game.

"Watch your tongue," Sesshoumaru retorted.

"Can't you at least let us win for once?!" Miroku asked exasperated.

"You'd think he's been playing since he was born," Kouga muttered. InuTaisho laughed, while Naraku and Hiten were playing pool on another pool table with InuTaisho rotating.

"It's not my turn this time anyways, it's Inuyasha's and Kouga's," Sesshoumaru said sitting down.

"Thank Kami!" Inuyasha muttered. The two started playing, once it was Inuyasha's turn for the third time Kouga started taunting him.

"Your not going to make it, your going to miss," Kouga said over and over again.

"Will you shut up already?" Inuyasha asked.

"No puppy-sama," Kouga said smirking. Inuyasha sighed and aimed, and boy did Inuyasha have aim! The white ball hit the 8 ball but instead of going into the hole, the ball skipped and hit another ball and hit Kouga where the sun don't shine! Inuyasha howled with laughter, as well as everyone else in the room. Kouga had dropped his stick (A/N: I don't know what you call the pool thing) and started jumping up and down holding his manhood screaming in pain. He started jumping up and down around the room and landed on a near by couch still clutching his manhood.

"OW! FUCK THAT HURTS!" Kouga cried.

"Inuyasha, you have to teach me that trick!" Ayame called still laughing her head off.

"He's a pool's fool," Miroku commented tears streaming down his face. Even Sesshoumaru was laughing, but not that hard, more as a chuckle?

"I'm good," Inuyasha said grinning.

---

[.End Chapter 5.]

YAY! I finally updated! LMFAO! Okay, I'll update Other Half tomorrow cause I don't feel like updating another fic today.