InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Foolish ❯ Foolish ( Chapter 1 )
A bit of angst revolving around the Inu/Kag relationship, set to Ashanti's 'Foolish'.
Anime/Manga: InuYasha Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Drama / Romance | Type: Songfic | Uploaded On: 06.09.2005 | Pages: 3 | Words: 4.6K | Visits: 546 | Status: Completed
A/N: Hi, again! I am IC, bringing you another angsty songfic! Yup, there's lots of crying in this story. *waves banners around reading 'Angsty Songfics Kick Butt!* For once, I'm not going to blab about a lot, because I want to start with the story! ^_^ Tally ho!
~ I. C. All
Disclaimer: I don't own Inuyasha, nor Ashanti's song, 'Foolish' ... Too sleepy to say anything else ... Zzz ... =P***
Dedicated to: My brother, who recently turned eleven. About a month ago ... ^_^;;;;;;;
Special Thanks to: gossa – Thanks for the very nice review! ^_________^
swimchick1614 – Well, you're more than welcome to submit any reviews/ego-boosters! Thanks very much for the compliment! ^_^
Moshi-mo – I certainly can't say I'm not flattered ... It's okay – I love reading pointless fluff, too, though it makes me blush and squeal like the schoolgirl that I am. Thanks for the favorite! And I'll certainly try to make more new songfics. Arigato!!! ^.^
See, my days are cold without you
But I'm hurting while I'm with you
And though my heart can take no more
I keep on running back to you
"OSUWARI!"
Inuyasha gave a muffled yell of anger as Kagome rushed past him, backpack slung over her shoulder and brown eyes flashing with fury. Her face was flushed pink from arguing with the hanyou turned hanyou pancake now on the ground. She sat on the lip of the well, turning back to yell at him one more time.
"Baka!"
And with that parting word, she let herself fall into the dark depths of the well.
See, my days are cold without you
But I'm hurting while I'm with you
And though my heart can take no more
I keep on running back to you
"Kagome-nee-chan! Okaeri! Did ya bring Inuyasha-nii-chan with you?"
Kagome ignored her younger brother as she stomped up the stairs and into her bedroom, making sure to slam the door. She threw her backpack on the floor and fell face flat on the bed. The girl pressed her face into a pillow and screamed for all she was worth, until her anger finally simmered down to mere frustration. She rolled over and stared at the ceiling with a sigh.
It was always the same old routine. Fight and generally raise hell, go home, come back in a few hours (or even days), reach an unspoken truce and start the cycle all over again. Her heart gave a painful little thump. Kagome wished it wasn't like that ...
It was a shame wishes rarely came true ...
Baby, I don't know why ya treatin' me so bad
You said you loved me, no one above me
And I was all you had
"See, wench! Now we're lost!"
Kagome whirled around in anger. "Lost?! You were the one who practically dragged us out here in the middle of nowhere!" she bit back. "Well, you said you sensed a shard here!" Inuyasha retorted. "Oh, yeah. That was a greeeeat reason to haul us out of Edo without any warning!" Kagome drawled sarcastically, her scent practically flaring with fury.
"Of course it was, wench! D'ya think those shards are going to freakin' find themselves?!" the hanyou growled, drawing himself to his full height, as if to make a point. "Has it ever occurred to you that we might need rest? Oh, wait ... You didn't, did you, Inuyasha? Please do forgive me, your Almighty Majesty, for comparing us lowly humans to your obviously superior race!" she yelled, also drawing herself to her own full height, never minding the fact that she was a good few inches shorter than him.
Sango, Miroku, Shippou and Kirara gaped openly. The usual argument or two was practically routine in their eccentric group, but fights this intense seldom occurred, especially in the rare occasion that Kagome became sarcastic. None dared to move, not even Shippou, who would have normally enjoyed ticking Inuyasha off in this situation.
"Goddamnit, bitch! Just shut up! Shut your friggin' hole up!" Inuyasha snarled. The rest of them collectively gasped. Kagome stared at Inuyasha, deep hurt and pain overcoming her features. Tears began to well up in her eyes. Immediately, Inuyasha regretted his actions.
"Ka-Kagome, gomen n-"
*SLAP*
"You insensitive jerk!" she screamed and ran out of the clearing, crystalline tears dripping down her cheeks. Sango made a move to follow her, but Miroku caught her arm, his features uncharacteristically grave as he grimly shook his head. The taijiya stopped and turned to gaze upon the shocked hanyou.
He sat on the ground, his head still turned to the side from the force and shock of the slap. A red handprint, similar to the ones that Miroku always received, throbbed painfully on his cheek. His amber eyes were glazed over in shock, which quickly faded to anger, only to be replaced by guilt and sorrow.
"Kagome ..."
And though my heart is eatin' for ya, I can't stop cryin'
I don't how I allow you to treat me this way
And still, I stay
Kagome finally stopped running a few minutes later, collapsing down by the edge of a river. She buried her face into her hands and let herself cry, the tears running down her hands and falling onto her lap and the grass beneath her.
It hurt.
Somehow, those two words seemed to sum up everything she was feeling. She used to be such a nice, normal girl. But when Inuyasha came along, it was like she had turned into some twisted masochist, who came back for more pain, no matter how ... well, painful.
But it was her choice. What in the world possessed her to do that, she had absolutely no idea about. Yet, it was completely her decision. In fact, she could walk out right now, give the shards to Inuyasha, hop into the well and seal it forever. But she chose not to. And for what? A temperamental hanyou who yelled at her and got mad every moment of the day, who was the most unpredictable, annoying being in the whole era, and ran off with his dead girlfriend every time he spotted her.
Kagome slowly rocked back onto her heels, burying her face into her arms as her tears slowed to a mere hiccup every now and then. No matter how hard she tried, she just couldn't bring herself to hate Inuyasha. Get extremely ticked off at him, yes, but hate him? She'd rather give up the shards to Naraku willingly than to ever hate the hanyou.
But ... What was she to do?
See, my days are cold without you
But I'm hurting while I'm with you
And though my heart can take no more
I keep on running back to you
"Wen-Kagome?"
The said girl turned to see a very harassed looking inu hanyou stumble out of the bushes and walk slowly towards her. His face was turned toward the ground and he kept on fiddling with the Tetsusaiga, his ears twitching like mad atop his silver hair.
Kagome almost smiled. She had seen this look before – it was the one he wore whenever he had gone too far with the insults and had come to apologize. "Yes?"
The aforementioned hanyou kicked the ground self-consciously. "Uh ... Sorry I yelled stuff about you like that ... It just ... sorta happened ... y'know," Inuyasha mumbled, but luckily, Kagome caught the words and tugged him down to sit next to her. The startled hanyou could do nothing but follow her tugging, until he was forced to sit down.
See, my days are cold without you
But I'm hurting while I'm with you
And though my heart can take no more
I keep on running back to you
Kagome smiled contentedly, wrapping an arm around his own and snuggling into it contentedly.
"It's okay ..." she murmured. Inuyasha could only gape at her in astonishment. "As long as you're here with me ... It's okay," she continued, her face pressed into the sleeve of his haori. The inu hanyou felt a deep stab of guilt as he wrapped his arms around her tightly.
"Thank you."
Baby, I don't know why you wanna do me wrong
See, when I'm home, I'm all alone
And you are always gone
"I'm back!"
Kagome entered the hut with a cheerful smile, her huge backpack slung over her shoulder, refilled with more supplies. "Hm? What is it?" she asked upon seeing her companions' faces. Miroku and Sango were both strangely somber; Kaede didn't meet her gaze as she stirred some soup and Kirara was curled up into a ball next to Shippou, who looked pained, as if he wanted to say something, but couldn't.
The young miko looked around the room, realizing that one of their group was missing. "Where's Inuyasha?" she asked, her gaze falling on her friends' faces questioningly, pleadingly. Sango's gaze turned bitter, turning to the floor as her hands gripped her boomerang tightly. Kaede faltered slightly, some of the stew spilling to the sides. Shippou emitted a squeak, burrowing closer to Kirara.
Kagome gaped openly, looking at Miroku for answers. The houshi seemed to hesitate slightly, before answering her. "He has gone to ... talk with Kikyo-sama," he replied, forcing the word 'talk' before resuming his melancholy façade. The miko continued to stare at him for a few more moments, her backpack falling to the wooden floor as her grip on it loosened.
"Oh."
And boy, you know I really love you, I can't deny
I can't see how you could bring me to so many tears
After all these years
Kagome stepped out of the hut hesitantly, rubbing her hands together in an effort to warm herself from the biting cold. She looked back warily at her sleeping companions, before removing her gaze from them. Inuyasha had been gone for far too long, and she was going to fetch him. Inwardly, she wondered why she was doing this. Inuyasha would always come back ... Wouldn't he? Kagome shook her head and forced herself to look ahead.
Her shoes crunched the ground as she walked into Inuyasha's Forest. She followed the Shinidamachuu that hovered around the area – if Kikyo's creepy, soul-stealing dragon-worms were here, she would certainly be here, too. Still, Kagome couldn't suppress the ominous shiver that ran through her spine as she walked deeper into the forest. 'Maybe it's just the cold?' she tried to convince herself.
Kagome finally reached the 'meeting place' of the soul stealers. 'How ironic,' Kagome thought half-heartedly, noting that it was actually the clearing of the Goshinboku ... The place where Kikyo sealed Inuyasha, where the miko drew her last breath, and where Kagome first met the hanyou and set him free. Her lips twisted into a bitter smile as she moved around behind the foliage, trying to get a better view.
Ah, there they were ... 'Talking' to each other, just as Miroku said ...
Heh, more like trying to cuddle each other to death.
At least they weren't making out.
...
Oops. Spoke too soon.
See, my days are cold without you
But I'm hurting while I'm with you
And though my heart can take no more
I keep on running back to you
The schoolgirl couldn't help but feel awkward as she spied on the couple, both of whom had pulled away from each other and were now just talking (though they were standing awfully close to each other for just communicating verbally ...).
She also couldn't help the stab of jealousy and betrayal as she continued watching the two. Stupid Inuyasha; always running off to meet Kikyo ... Stupid Kikyo; always luring Inuyasha away with her freaky, flying worm-thingies ... Stupid Kagome; always spying on the two and getting upset ...
Kagome frowned, feeling the familiar sensation of prickling behind her eyes that announced the tears that were about to overflow. She turned and walked away quickly, unaware of the pair of piercing brown eyes staring after her.
See, my days are cold without you
But I'm hurting while I'm with you
And though my heart can take no more
I keep on running back to you
Kagome stumbled through the forest, blinking back the moisture seeping from her eyes. So focused was she on trying to find her way back that she did not notice the figure in red that hopped from branch to branch, following her.
So, naturally, she was scared out of her wits when that figure finally jumped down in front of her. The miko glared up at him from her position on the ground – she had fallen down in shock, but didn't make any movements to get up. He reached a clawed hand out to help her up, but she merely ignored it.
"Inuyasha! What are you trying to do?!" she scolded him, refusing to accept his hand. The hanyou moved back, but retained his strong posture. Kagome narrowed her eyes at his lack of an answer and stood up herself. She tried to move past him, but didn't succeed. "Kami, Inuyasha! What are you trying to do?!" the miko repeated, making a futile attempt to push him past, and settled for glaring at him.
"Funny – I was about to ask you the same thing," was his reply. Kagome faltered at the nonchalant tone. "What are you talking about?" she demanded. Inuyasha shot her a 'Don't-play-dumb-with-me' look. The miko huffed and looked away, crossing her arms over her chest. Inuyasha moved towards her, gripping her shoulder with one hand and her chin with the other. He tilted her head gently, but firmly, so that she had no choice but to look at him.
"Kagome, what were you doing?"
Oh, I trusted you, I trusted you
So sad, so sad, what love'll make you do
"I was spying on you, all right?!"
Inuyasha didn't even flinch at her outburst. Kagome continued to rant. "I know it's stupid and strange and now you might think I'm some kind of twisted stalker, but that's what I was doing, all right?! I was spying on you! You were gone and you were with Kikyo and I didn't know what to do and I couldn't sleep, so I looked for you! And then I found you, and you were with her, and you were kissing and hugging and it hurt!"
Then there was a moment of silence, in which Kagome tried to catch her breath and Inuyasha just stared at her, a myriad of emotions swimming in his eyes.
"Why did you do it?"
All the things that we accept
Be the things that we regret
Kagome looked up at the hanyou, as if the answer was obvious.
"What do you mean, why? Why I stumbled out here in the middle of the night, blindly walking around in the dark, trying to look for you, and ended up finding you making out with Kikyo?" There was no response from the hanyou. Kagome took it as a yes.
"Because I was worried! I like you, okay? I ... I love you, you baka!"
This statement finally brought out a reaction from Inuyasha, albeit a small one. His eyes widened slightly and his grip on her shoulder loosened. The clawed hand on her chin fell limply to his side as he stared at the schoolgirl in front of him. She wasn't blushing like crazy (though there was a faint, pink tint to her cheeks); but she had a neutral look on her face – she was neither ecstatic, nor furious.
"But you're with Kikyo, so I guess I really can't do anything. After all, I chose to be with you, right? So I can't complain. But it still hurts, Inuyasha. To see you run off to her at every sighting of her youkai, and leaving me – us, all alone. To know that you'll pick her in a single heartbeat with no regrets. To live with the knowledge that you'll eventually go to Hell with her. What will we do then, Inuyasha? What's going to happen?"
The schoolgirl stopped talking to observe Inuyasha's reaction. The hanyou had frozen on the spot, eyes blank with a hint of confusion within the amber depths. Kagome accepted his silence.
"I thought so."
To all of my ladies (ladies)
Feel me, come on, sing with me
She removed his hand from her shoulder and stepped around him, moving off towards the village. The hanyou did not respond until she had taken at least ten steps from him. "Where are you going?"
Kagome stopped walking, but did not turn around. "Back home," she replied curtly, and resumed walking. She had taken another five steps before Inuyasha spoke again. "Don't go."
The young miko stopped once more. "Why not?" she asked softly. Inuyasha had no answer to that. Kagome waited a few more moments before starting to walk again. This time, she was not stopped by a sentence, but by a clawed hand on her shoulder. She turned to see a desperate-looking Inuyasha, his eyes pleading with her silently. "Please don't go. I need you here with me," he whispered hoarsely. It was almost enough to change her mind.
Keyword: almost.
Kagome started to speak softly, surprising both herself and Inuyasha.
"See, when I get the strength to leave
You always tell me that you need me
And I'm weak 'coz I believe you
And I'm mad because I love you
So I stop and think that maybe
You can learn to appreciate me
Then it all remains the same
That you ain't never gonna change ..."
With these words, Kagome gently pushed away from the hanyou, and started walking back to the village. Her pace became unsteady, until she broke into a full out run away from him, leaving a stunned hanyou in the forest.
Inuyasha tried to process what he had just heard, all the while staring after the retreating figure of the schoolgirl.
And he realized that he just might have lost her for good.
"Kagome ..."
Never gonna change
Never gonna change
Back at the village, the reed mat covering the doorway of Kaede's hut moved slightly. Kagome slid past, trying to creep over to a corner of the hut as discreetly as possible. The schoolgirl tiptoed past the sleeping occupants of the hut, reaching over for her yellow backpack. Digging through the large pack, she pulled out a piece of stationery and a pencil, and quickly scribbled a note. She folded it, and tucked it carefully in Shippou's hand.
After she had pulled the bag onto her back, she looked longingly over at all her friends, her face filled with regret and sorrow. "I'm sorry, but I have to go for a while," she whispered, and slipped past the reed mat once more, running off in the night.
One of the figures stirred, sitting up in the sleeping bag. "Kagome ..." the kitsune mouthed, gazing sadly at the note in his hand, before lying back down. Shippou cried quietly for a few minutes before falling into a restless sleep.
See, my days are cold without you
(My days are cold without you)
But I'm hurting while I'm with you
And though my heart can take no more
(No more, no more)
I keep on running back to you
The schoolgirl walked carefully up the stairs and down the hallway to her room. Unbeknownst to the girl, she had woken up her younger brother, who peeked out of his room, yawning and wondering why in the world she had returned so soon. Souta had half a mind to knock on her door and ask her why she was sneaking around the house at 1 in the morning.
He shuffled to the door, reaching up to knock, but stopped when he heard the muffled sobbing coming from his sister's room. Souta was wide-awake at that point, moving his arm back to hang it limply against his side. He knew that Kagome was trying to mute the sound as much as possible, but he had learned to tell when his sister was crying or not.
A sinking feeling grew in his stomach, and he moved back to his room, quietly shutting the door behind him. 'Inu-nii-chan ... Why do you make my sister sad?' he asked no one in particular, before slipping back into his dreams.
See, my days are cold without you
But I'm hurting while I'm with you
And though my heart can take no more
I keep on runnin' back to you
"Where's Kagome?"
All the occupants of the hut stopped in their morning activities to stare blankly at the hanyou in the doorway, not knowing how to respond to this question. Inuyasha did not have enough patience for this, and growled lowly. "Where is Kagome?" he repeated slowly, claws digging into the wood of Kaede's hut.
All was silent for a few moments, before Shippou finally stepped forward. He curtly handed the hanyou a folded, lilac note, before moving back to his corner, playing with Kirara and noticeably ignoring everyone else. Inuyasha confusedly opened up the note, amber eyes moving quickly over the paper. Amber orbs clouded over as he clenched his fist, crumpling the paper, before letting the note fall to the ground as he bounded away in the direction of the well.
The remaining human occupants glanced over at each other nervously, before Sango moved over to pick up the paper. Smoothing it over as best as she could, the taijiya tried to make out the lead characters.
'Everyone,
Sorry for leaving so soon, and without telling any of you. I just need some time alone by myself, all right? Don't worry, I'm not going to do anything drastic like sealing the well or never coming back – I just really need some time to think things over. Hopefully, I'll be back soon, so please take care of each other in my absence. I'll come back soon – promise.
Baby, why you hurt me?
Leave me and desert me?
Boy, I gave you all my heart
And all you do is tear it up
Kagome lay on her bed, staring up at the ceiling. Dry tear tracks were faintly evident on her face, but she made no motion to brush them away. The rest of her family wisely left her to her musings, except for Buyo, who snuggled up to his mistress, doing his best to comfort her.
The miko sighed, stroking her cat halfheartedly and smiling sadly as he purred contentedly. Turning her gaze to her vanity table, she caught sight of her reflection. Kagome stood, leaving Buyo on the bed, and sat down in front of the mirror, studying her features.
She certainly didn't look her best – her eyes were still a bit red from last night's crying, and her hair was all tangled from staying in bed all morning. Picking up her brush, she slowly began to comb through the tangles, until her raven locks looked much tidier. Yet, there was something ... off, about her reflection. Looking closer, she realized what it was.
In that moment, she looked more similar to Kikyo than ever. Her somber face, the tidy hair, the straight posture, their ever-so-similar features ... Kagome allowed herself to be bitter for just a moment, and shoved angrily away from the vanity table, flopping back down on the bed.
Clenching the sheets tightly, she screamed into a pillow, letting all her anger in that moment free, and fell asleep once more, exhausted from her actions.
Looking out my window
Knowing that I should go
Even when I pack my bags
This something always holds me back
A few hours later, Kagome stared pensively out the window. She was now dressed in her school uniform, freshly showered and ready to go. Now she just needed to wait for the hanyou. Scanning the shrine grounds for a familiar, haori and hakama dressed figure, she spotted him leaning against the Goshinboku tree.
Right on cue.
Her heart clenched as she locked gazes with him. His eyes were so sad and repentant, and hers probably were as well. Kagome broke the eye contact, turning back to the large, yellow backpack sitting innocently on her bed. Her fingers trailed over the straps, getting ready to pick it up and get back to the Sengoku Jidai.
Yet ... A small part of her was telling her not to go – to stay here and isolate herself from the pain that she was bringing herself back to. It was tempting, and Kagome almost let go of the bag, almost giving in to the voice ...
"Kagome! Let's go!"
The hanyou's voice startled her out of her negative thoughts, and the miko made her mind up. Swinging the pack over her shoulder, she pushed the door open.
"Be right there in a minute!"
A/N: That was fun! ^_^ Lots of angst and crying – everybody needs angst once in a while! Keeps the peppiness away! ^_^
So, what'd you think? Was it good? Was it bad? Was it evil? I want to know! Why, you ask? I don't know, but I just want to. So please help me satiate the strange urge to know what you thought, and review! It would really help! Thankies!
~ I. C. All
Quote of the Day:
Miroku: Now let's go sell these and PARTY!
Inuyasha: Dammit, I'll never help anyone ever again.