InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ For the Love of a Child ❯ Jealousy and Sadness ( Chapter 17 )

[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]

Today is a damp, rainy, miserable day.  An angry type of day matching InuYasha’s current state of mind.  He’s beginning to tire of KiKyo’s many antics and selfish ways and is even wondering why he agreed to marry KiKyo in the first place.  By now, he’s realizing he’s made a terrible mistake, that the life KiKyo offers is not even close to what he needs or desires, and yet has no clue how to back out of the marriage.  InuYasha is anxiously waiting for that day when everything will come to a head and he and KiKyo will have no choice but to finally have it out and eventually part ways.  For now though, InuYasha suffers through an engagement which has been thrust upon him for he knows he’s trapped, with his honor as his cage.

 

Today, upon KiKyo’s insistence, InuYasha and she take a trip to the Tokyo mall to visit an exclusive bridal boutique that has just opened.  Upon entering through the first set of doors to the mall, the hanyou stops to shake the water from his body, spraying KiKyo in the process.

 

“Damn it, Inu,” says KiKyo disgustingly, wiping her dress.

 

“What?” asks the hanyou straightening.

 

“Just look at this dress!”

 

“Yeah?  What about it?”

 

“This isn’t some off the rack dress I’m wearing, you idiot.  It’s is an original.  Top of the line.  It was VERY expensive and now because of your damned insensitive actions it’s fucking ruined!”

 

“Well why wear the damn thing in the first place, KiKyo.  It’s not like we’re here to impress anyone.”

 

“You don’t know that.  One never knows who one may run into in a place like this.  It could be the president of a company, a future client.  It could even be someone from a movie studio, looking to cast someone for a role in a future movie.  You just never know where or when opportunities may arise.  Little chance of anything coming my way though.  Like always you’ve ruined everything for me by doing stupid shit like getting my dress all wet!”

 

“What was I supposed to do KiKyo.  You’re not the only one who doesn’t like to be wet, ya know,” replies the hanyou with slight shrug.  “And I wanted to dry off.  Besides, you got plenty of nice dresses you could have worn here instead.  You didn’t have to wear that one.”

 

“Inu.”  KiKyo gives a deep sigh, pinches the bridge of her nose and slightly shakes her head.  “Can’t you just once think of me before doing shit like this?  I mean it’s not necessary for you to act like a damn dog whenever we go out, is it?!”

 

“I am a dog KiKyo,” he replies sarcastically.  “It’s my nature to act this way.”

 

“No, it’s not!” KiKyo replies angrily.  “Don’t you see?  You’re not just a half demon, Inu.  You’re half human as well.”

 

“So?  What’s that got to do with anything?”

 

“So, whenever you’re with humans you should act like one.  Showing off your demon side only makes others anxious and afraid.  They don’t like it when they see you acting like this.”

 

“I don’t give two shits what others like or don’t like, alright?” says InuYasha looking pointedly at Kikyo.  “I am what I am.  If anyone doesn’t like how I act they can all just kiss my ass.”

 

“You didn’t just direct that statement at me, did you?” asks KiKyo looking scandalized.

 

“Keh!  What do you think?  It wasn’t me who insisted we come down here today, you know.  I’d rather be doing something else like being down at the garage catching up on the fucking work you’ve made me miss because of all YOUR fucking parties and shit.  You wanted me here, I’m here!  So don’t go pissing me off, ok?”

 

“Watch your tone, Inu, and lose the fucking attitude!” says KiKyo testily narrowing her eyes.  “I’m expecting you to be on your best behavior today, so don’t go pissing ME off or you just might find yourself regretting it.”

 

“Keh!

 

“I mean it Inu!  You’re to be polite and respectful to the wedding planner.  No arguing.  What she says goes.”

 

“Nag, nag, nag,” says InuYasha looking angry.  “Is that all you’re going to do today is bitch at me?”

 

“If I have to, so don’t do anything that will embarrass us today.”

 

“Yeah, yeah.”

 

“Can’t understand why you’re being so unreasonable anyway.  You got your wish, didn’t you?  We’re finally out together...just you and me.  I’d think you’d be happy and proud to be seen with me in public.  Not acting like some fucking ass.”

 

“Keh!  Happy huh?  Well coming to the damn mall, just so you can, fucking, shop, ain’t my idea of fun KiKyo.”  InuYasha looks around him.  “I can already tell it’s gonna be fucking boring around here.  All these fucking humans walking around, staring at me like I was some kind of freak.”

 

“Well, if you didn’t act some damn mutt from off the street, they wouldn’t be staring at you so much.”

 

“What did you say?!” asks the hanyou becoming angrier.

 

“Besides, they stare because they’re curious about you.  Humans don’t see hanyou’s like you every day, you know.”

 

“Yeah?  Can’t see what’s so damn different about me.  I got two arms, two legs, and a head, don’t I?  I got eyes and ears.”

 

“Yes, so?”

 

“So I ain’t no fucking side show, KiKyo, for humans to point and gawk at.  And if they don’t stop their fucking staring, I’ll…

 

“You’ll what?  Act like an idiot and beat up everyone in here?  I told you to behave.”

 

“I got a right to be respected too, ain’t I?  It’s rude to stare KiKyo.  Ya don’t see me going around staring at the fucking weirdos in this place.”

 

“Just calm down, will you?  You’re acting like a child.”

 

“What?!” asks the hanyou clinching his fists.

 

“You won’t have to put up with it much longer, anyway.  We’re almost to the boutique.  And remember, Inu.  Watch the attitude.  I don’t wish to be embarrassed any more than I already am.”

 

“Keh!  Embarrassed.  If you think I’m such a fucking embarrassment, why’d drag my fucking ass down here!  It’s not as if you need me for anything and I can think of a hundred other things to be doing that doesn’t involve this place.”

 

“Oh, I’m sure you can.  Like running around with those damn hooligans you call friends?  You’ll only end up getting into trouble if you keep hanging around with them Inu.  You’re much better off being with me today.  As to why I brought you here, there was no one else available who could accompany me.”

 

“No one?” asks InuYasha skeptically.  “What about your so-called friends?  Couldn’t any of them come with you?”

 

“No, everyone’s busy.  Besides wouldn’t you like to have some say in what gown I’m going to select?” says KiKyo.

 

“Really?” replies the hanyou snidely.  “You brought me here just to pick out some fucking gown?”

 

“That’s right.  My wedding gown to be precise.”

 

“I don’t believe this shit.  You know I don’t know anything about dresses KiKyo.  And the way I heard it, the groom’s, not even supposed to see the gown before the wedding.  It’s supposed to be taboo.”

 

“That may be true but it’s crucial you’re here with me.”

 

“Only to keep you company.”

 

“That and it’s tradition,” replies KiKyo haughtily.

 

“What tradition?”

 

“You’re my fiancée, aren’t you?  It’s essential you’re seen with me while we’re here.”

 

“Why?  You’re more than capable of taking care of this yourself, aren’t ya?”

 

“Maybe.  But propriety dictates no respectful man should ever allow his fiancée to be out among the public alone, without him.”

 

“To bad I’m not respectful, huh?” the hanyou mumbles.

 

“What was that?”

 

“Nothing.”

 

“Well, hurry up then.  They’re waiting for us and I don’t wish to be late.”

 

InuYasha sighs and begins following KiKyo.  They walk to and stop in front of a large shop window where the hanyou sees two large mannequins wearing what look to be very expensive jewelry and overpriced gowns. 

 

“Exquisite, aren’t they?” comments KiKyo in awe.

 

“So, this is it, huh?” asks InuYasha obviously not impressed.

 

“That’s right,” says KiKyo.  “It took me three weeks to get this appointment.  So, let’s go in alright?”

 

“Do I have to?” the hanyou whines.  “I can just sit out here and wait on you, can’t I?”

 

“Innnnuuuu!” says KiKyo looking more upset.  “Don’t start!”

 

“Alright, alright,” replies InuYasha angrily.  “Don’t have a hissy.  I’m coming.”

 

The two enter the large exclusive, by appointment only boutique.  InuYasha looks around him seeing all the many various styles of gowns on display as well as many tables sitting around the room, showcasing sparkling jewelry and extra necessities a woman would need for her honeymoon on display.  (Why the hell do I have to be here,) he thought, looking down at all the wedding magazines sitting about?  (I could be hanging out with the guys right now, playing pool and having fun.  But this bitch’s got me here doing boring shit like this.  Man, I hate my life.)  “What now KiKyo?” he asks grumpily.

 

“Nothing,” replies KiKyo picking up a magazine.  “Just wait out here for me.”

 

“Wait… what?”

 

“That’s right.  You’re to wait here until I’m finished being measured for my wedding dress.”

 

“That’s bullshit KiKyo.  I didn’t come all the way down here just to sit around, doing nothing like some good little boy.”  KiKyo gives InuYasha a withering look.  “Look around you bitch.  This ain’t no place for a man.  This room alone screams women only!  There’s nothing here but a bunch of women’s clothing and fucking wedding magazines I have no interest in reading.”

 

“Oh, don’t worry Inu.  You won’t be bored for long.”

 

“Huh?”

 

“Someone will come out to talk to you soon enough.”

 

“Someone’s going talk to me?  What about?”

 

“You do know where you are, right now, correct?”

 

“Well let’s see.”  InuYasha makes a show of looking around.  “There’s lots of gowns, jewelry and shit on the counters.  Fucking wedding magazines.  I bet we’re in some fucking shop where I’ll be bored out of my fucking mind, while you go in to find some fucking dress!”

 

“Correct, but that’s not the only purpose for our visit here.  You see Inu, this is Madam Oroyos’s bridal boutique.  This shop is famous for having the latest, and most sought-after gowns.  People from all over the world come here just to see her designs.”

 

“Still don’t see why it’s so damn important to me to be here KiKyo.”

 

“Well, Inu, Oroyo’s doesn’t just sell gowns, you see.  She also has the finest tuxedos money can buy.”

 

“And this concerns me why?”

 

“You’re going to be fitted as well today… for your tux.”

 

“My…  Oh no, KiKyo.  I ain’t gonna…”

 

A young woman walks up to KiKyo.  “Miss Oni?”

 

“Shush,” commands KiKyo.  She lays the magazine aside, turns and smiles.  “Yes.  I’m Miss KiKyo Oni.”

 

“I’m Tamari.  Assistant to Miss Oroyo who will be personally seeing to your fitting.  It’s good to meet you.  I’m glad, you were able to be on time today.”

 

“Of course, we’re on time,” replies KiKyo haughtily.  “We’re well aware of the fact your wedding specialist is a busy woman who hates to be kept waiting.  It’s why, we arrived early just to avoid that particular problem.”

 

“I see.  Well, Miss Oroyo’s ready to see you now.  Won’t you please follow me to the back?”

 

“Yes, um by the way!”

 

“Yes?”

 

KiKyo waves behind her.  “I’d like to introduce my fiancé.  Mr. InuYasha Takahashe.  He’s here to be fitted for his tuxedo as well.”

 

“Of course.”  The young woman looks around KiKyo.  “I’m so very pleased to meet you Mr…um…”.  The woman looks up at KiKyo curiously.  “You did say your fiancé, is here?”

 

“Of course he’s here.  Our wedding is scheduled for December so he’ll…”  KiKyo turns finding her hanyou is nowhere to be seen.  “Well, he was here a minute ago,” she says looking flustered.  “Inu?  Inu!”  KiKyo places her hands on her hips and angrily frowns.  (Of all the… where did that bastard run off to?)  She turns and smiles at the attendant.  “He um, must have had to go to the restroom or something.  I’m sure he’ll be back any minute now.”

 

The attendant’s smile lessens.  “Miss Oroyo has a full schedule today, Miss Oni, and her next appointment is in two hours.  If we wait for him too long, she won’t have time to give both you and your fiancée a proper fitting.  So given the time restraint, and your fiancée not presently available at the moment, I suggest you reschedule your appointment for another day.”

 

“That won’t be necessary Tamari.  This appointment was scheduled weeks ago and wasn’t so easy to get.  So, I’ll just have to do this without him and Inu will be fitted another day.”

 

“Very good, Miss Oni.  We’ll reschedule his appointment after your fitting.”

 

“Thank you.”  The angry woman nods then follows the young lady to the back of the shop.  “Damn him!” mumbles KiKyo.  (Inu knew he was to be fitted today.  And he just ran off.  Oh, he’s going to pay for this.)

 

Once KiKyo disappears to the back of the shop, InuYasha walks out of the clothing shop across the way.  “Damn that was close.”  (If it weren’t for that woman keeping KiKyo’s attention off me, I would never have been able to get away from her.)  InuYasha jams his hands in his jean pockets and begins walking around casually looking into shop windows.  (Damn that KiKyo.  I don’t know how much longer I can put up with her shit.  I’m almost at the end of my rope now.  It’s bad enough I have to marry the damn bitch.  Now she says she wants me to wear some damn tuxedo?!  And it’s all because of this fucking wedding shit, that I don’t want any part of.  All her damn social events, her fucking parties, KiKyo’s driving me fucking crazy.  Always hanging all over me, leading me around from one person to the next like I’m on a fucking lease, being fucking jerked around with no freedom.  And it’s hard for me to keep up with her at those things.  It’s stifling as hell not to mention embarrassing.  It’s a wonder KiKyo doesn’t make me to go the bathroom with her when she has to take a shit.  And talking to other women?  Hell, that’s out.  If I so much as glance at another woman KiKyo gets pissed as hell.  The food’s tasteless at those damn parties of hers, and the drinks?  Hell, I can’t even drink enough to get a fucking buzz!  I’m in a constant state of soberness when I’m around her.  Not to mention I have to play nice with her damn uncle.  Always saying shit like how privileged I am to be marrying his damn niece.  Asking what plans, I’ve made for supporting her.  Pure torture is what it is.)  InuYasha balls up his fist.  (Why I oughta …No man should ever have to tolerate shit like that.  But it’s KiKyo’s uncle meaning I have to act nice cause if I don’t act like the perfect fiancé, he'll start his damn bitching saying I’m mistreating her and she starts acting like a damn spoiled princess throwing a fucking tantrum.  There’s just no way I can fucking win with those two!)

 

InuYasha pauses by a shop displaying among other things, mirrors.  He stares at his reflection in one and smirks.  (Why do I have to wear a fucking tux anyway?  A nice suit would do just as well, wouldn’t it?  A tux itches like hell and chokes the shit out of me.  Always have to pull on the fucking collar just to breathe.  I’ll probably keel over before the fucking ceremony is over with.)  The hanyou walks to the next shop and stops to look at the sportswear on display.  (Wonder what she’d say if I ask to wear sweatpants with a shirt and tie?  Keh!  Doubt KiKyo will find any humor in that.  She’s got no sense of humor, no fun at all.  Damn it.  I want out of this fucking marriage so damn bad.  I’d do just about anything, short of killing the damn bitch to do it.  Why just thinking of living fifty, sixty, seventy odd years with KiKyo…)  The hanyou give a slight shiver.  (I’ll never survive it.

 

Now it’d be different if I were marrying Kagome.  She’d try her best to make the engagement as painless as possible for me.  She wouldn’t insist on shit like fancy parties or wearing some damn tuxedo.  Though if wearing a tux would make her happy, I’d do it, with no complaints whatsoever.  I’d endure anything just to stay at her side.  We could live in a nice house with five or six pups.  To see her smile would make any bad days I have a lot brighter.)  InuYasha deeply sighs and shakes his head.  (Oh, if only Kagome were here now.  Just seeing her maybe talk with her for just a moment or two.  This damn trip with KiKyo would at least. be a little more tolerable for me.  But, with KiKyo hanging around me like this, even if Kagome were here, it’d be damn near impossible for me to get close, much less talk to her.  Still, wouldn’t it be…)

 

“Thanks so much for your help,” says a familiar voice.  “You’ve been quite helpful.”

 

“Huh?”  The hanyou’s ears twitch.  “No way.”

 

“Have you been in the mall long?”

 

“It’s her.  It’s got to be.”  InuYasha quickly looking around at all the other patrons passing.  “But where?  Where is she?”

 

“No, this pan is really all I need at the moment.  But thanks anyway.” 

 

(Kagome’s around here somewhere, damn it.)

 

“My other pans are just fine though.  I don’t need anymore.”

 

InuYasha quickly turns finding the woman of his dreams backing out of a shop a few doors away.  (Damn, wishes really do come true, don’t they?!)  InuYasha looks back toward the boutique and finding KiKyo hasn’t left the bridal shop as yet, smiles and quickly makes his way through the crowded aisle toward Kagome.

 

“They do look nice.  I’ll tell, you what.  If I ever need anything else I’ll be sure to come back right here and perhaps buy the set, ok?  Bye now!”  Kagome quickly turns to escape the overzealous salesperson.  When she does, she runs into a hard body and feels two clawed hands quickly grab her shoulders to steady her.  “Oh, so sorry about that.  I wasn’t looking.  Hope I didn’t…”  Kagome looks up finding beautiful long silver white hair, a handsome face with golden eyes and adorable puppy dog ears atop his head.  He’s staring down at her with a wide fanged smile.  Kagome blinks then her eyes widen.  “Inu…InuYasha?” she asks surprised.  “Is it really you?”

 

“Hey, fair maiden,” says the familiar voice happily.  “Missed me, did ya?”

 

The young woman smile brightens.  “I didn’t expect to see you here.  This is quite a surprise.”

 

“Same here.  You were the last person I was expecting to run into today.  So, what brings you out to the mall?”

 

“This,” she replies holding up her package.  “One of my pans, sort of fell apart on me this morning.”

 

“Did you hurt yourself?”

 

“Not really.  The handle fell off while I was pulling it from the cabinet.  I came to this shop to buy a new one.  This pan’s really not the best but I think it’ll do for the time being.”

 

“I see.”

 

“Did you want a better one.  I’ll help you get it if you want.”

 

“No, this one is fine for now.”

 

So, how long has it been, Kagome since we last seen each other?  Two...three weeks?”

 

“More like two and a half.”

 

“That long, huh?  And you still remember me huh?”

 

“How could I not remember you InuYasha,” she replies with a laugh.  “Those ears and eyes of yours, sort of make you unforgettable.”

 

“Ha, ha!” laughs the hanyou heartily and wiggles his ears.  “Yeah, they do kind of standout don’t they?  You’re looking good, yourself, by the way.  Staying safe?”

 

“Yep,” replies the young woman with a nod.  “For the most part anyway.  Don’t open my door to anyone unless I know who they are first.”

 

“Good girl.  Knowing you’re safe from that Hobo bastard takes a big load off my mind.”

 

“Yeah.  I don’t get beaten up anymore.  Sango makes sure of that.”

 

“I’m glad.  Sango’s a good friend.  She’s reliable and the kind of person you really don’t want to piss off…ever.”

 

“You’ve got that right.”  Kagome slightly frowns and begins rubbing her head.

 

“Something wrong Kagome?” asks InuYasha curiously.

 

“I’m fine,” replies Kagome with a slight shake of her head.  “Sure, is hot in here, isn’t it InuYasha?”

 

“Sort of.  Kind of muggy outside with all the rain and shit.  Probably why the AC isn’t working as well as it should be.  The doors are always opening and closing making it hard to keep the cool air in and hot air out.  Sort of makes you wish you’d stayed home.”  Scratching his head, InuYasha searches for something more to say.  “So um, you here just for the pan?”

 

“Yep,” says Kagome with a nod and blinks two or three times to clear her vision.  “I could have waited, I guess but I hate putting things off.  Waiting for Sango now to come after me.”

 

“She’s not here with you?”

 

“No, Sango needed to take Miroku his lunch, so I asked her to drop me off here on her way out.  She’s supposed come pick me up on her way back.”

 

“I see.”

 

“So um, what about you InuYasha?”  Kagome rubs her temple and slightly sways to the side.  “Here for any… thing special?”

 

“Me?  Nah.  Just here looking at wed…uh well …stuff.”

 

“Stuff huh?  Yeah right,” replies Kagome with a smirk and pokes the hanyou’s chest.  “You can’t fool me my friend.  Bet, you’re here looking for a gift for KiKyo, right?  Maybe here to buy her a ring?”

 

“Well uuuuh,” says InuYasha again scratching his head.

 

“I knew it.  Can’t get married without a ring, right?  Must mean you and she are getting along really well, huh?”

 

“Same as always, I guess,” the hanyou replies with a slight shrug.  “Not much has changed.”

 

“I see,” says Kagome looking a little disappointed.  “That’s um… that’s really good.  So, you’ve asked KiKyo, I take it?”

 

“Asked her what exactly?”

 

“About getting married?  You know…proposed?”

 

(She doesn’t know?) he thought surprised.  “Married, huh?” 

 

“Yeah,” Kagome replies again rubbing her temple.  “She’s who you’re in love with right?  The one you’re living with?”

 

“Yeah, we’re still living together alright,” replies the hanyou with a sad smirk.

 

“You’re such a lucky man InuYasha.”

 

“Me?  Lucky?

 

“Well, sure.  A woman as smart and beautiful as KiKyo, to have the chance to marry such a wonderful and brilliant man like…like you.  She’d be crazy not to accept your proposal.  So, when’s the wedding?  Am I invited?”

 

“I’m glad you …”  The hanyou notices the woman becoming pale while swaying a little more.  “Hey, um Kagome… are you feeling, ok?”

 

“Sure.  I’m fine.  It’s just so darn hot in here that... it’s making it hard for me to…to breathe.”  Kagome suddenly falls forward. 

 

“Kagome!” cries InuYasha catching her.  “Hey, what’s wrong Kagome?!”  InuYasha anxiously pats her face.  (Damn, she’s sick.  Must have a high fever.  Stupid girl, coming out when she’s not feeling well.)  “Kagome.  Kagome,” the hanyou says worriedly.  “Say something, will ya?  Hey!”

 

“Umm,” she reaches to rub her temple while slowly opening her eyes.  She looks up seeing the hanyou’s anxious expression.  “What…happened?”

 

“You fainted, that’s what?”

 

“Fainted?  Oh, I’m so sorry InuYasha.  I didn’t mean to make you worry.  Forgive me?”

 

“Yeah.”  The hanyou slowly places her up on her feet.  “Though, you did have me a little worried there.  Has this sort of thing been happening to you often?”

 

Kagome slightly nods.  “More often than I’d like to admit.  It’s embarrassing really, coming to and finding a bunch of strangers hovering over me.  I’m glad you’re here to catch me though.  Thanks.”

 

“You’re welcome... I guess,” the hanyou replies scratching his head.  “You are probably in awe of me and that’s the reason you fainted…I understand,” he says jokingly.

 

“In awe of you?”

 

“Sure.  Saying I’m so wonderful and shit, it’s only natural you’d faint at just the sight of me.”

 

“Kind of got the big head now huh?” Kagome asks with a smile.

 

“If I do Kagome, it’s because of you.  So, what’s going on?  Are you sick?

 

“I don’t think I am.  Why?  You think I’m sick just because I complimented you?”

 

“No.  You feel like you have a fever, Kagome and a high one at that.  And really, no one faints, without a reason.  So, are you going to answer my question?”

 

“I’m fine InuYasha.  Really.  It’s just a little too warm in here for me, that’s all.  That’s nothing for you to worry about, is it?”

 

“Keh!  If you believe that, then you’re a fool.”  The hanyou softly touches her cheek.  “You’re my friend Kagome.  A very special, very important to me.”

 

“Really?”

 

“Yes, you are.  So, no matter what situation or where I happen to be, I’ll always worry about your wellbeing.  So, tell me what’s wrong.”

 

“My headaches, I guess,” she replies with a sigh.

 

“I remember Miroku telling me about your headaches at the club that night.  So, you’re still having them?”

 

“Um hm.  It’s something I just have to live with, I guess.  But I’m afraid lately it seems they’re happening more often.  The pain just suddenly comes on, getting stronger and lasting longer than usual.  I have no clue what’s causing them, InuYasha except maybe I’m not getting enough sleep.  Other than that, I’m doing just fine.”

 

“Come on.”  InuYasha places his hand on the small of her back and gives a slight push.  “Let’s walk over here so you can sit down and rest and we’ll talk for a few minutes.”  InuYasha guides Kagome through the bustling crowd of shoppers, to a seat located in the middle of the isle.  “So, you’re having trouble sleeping huh?”

 

“Um hm,” she replies as she sits.

 

“Any idea why?” he asks as he sits.

 

Kagome replies with a slight shrug.  “My medicine is usually strong enough to take care of it.  And I’m taking it like I’m supposed to.”

 

“Sounds alright so far,” asks InuYasha reaching to push her hair back behind her shoulder.  “And your headaches are getting stronger now huh?”

 

“Like an excessive pounding that won’t go away,” Kagome replies with a nod.  “The headache becomes so strong I almost get sick from it.”

 

“Sick?  Like you want to throw up sick?”

 

Kagome gives a slight nod.  “It usually starts before I go to bed.  And when I take my medicine, it takes time for it to kick in so while I’m waiting, my mind keeps running.  I lie awake in bed just thinking of stuff and before I know it, it’s four or five o’clock in the morning.  Makes me wonder why I even try sleeping at all.”

 

“That bad huh?  What is it you think about that’s keeping you awake?”

 

“Lots of things, actually.  The rent, bills coming due, Souta, Lisa, …and you.”

 

“You think of me?” the hanyou asks surprised.  “Why?”

 

Kagome shakes her head.  “Not sure InuYasha.  I know it’s silly and that I shouldn’t but whenever I close my eyes I think of that day you and I were together…what we did, and images of it comes to mind.  Then I get all warm inside and uncomfortable…I just can’t lay still.  I don’t understand it at all.”

 

“I think I understand.”

 

“You do…really?”

 

“Um hm,” InuYasha replies with a slow nod.  “It happens to me too.  At work, in bed, whenever I close my eyes Kagome, I see your image.  I’ve tried ignoring it, blocking it out so I can sleep but the same image always appears in my mind.  You.”

 

“What does KiKyo say?”

 

“KiKyo?”

 

“Sure.  You must have told her about it.  And knowing you’re thinking of someone other than her, must make her very angry.”

 

The hanyou shrugs his shoulders.  “So what?  Doesn’t matter to me if she gets pissed or not.  It’s my business and has nothing to do with her.”

 

“Kind of a bad attitude to have before your wedding, isn’t it?  Dreaming of other women while lying next to your fiancée must be very taxing on your relationship.”

 

“Taxing?  No, not really.  You see Kagome, KiKyo and I kind of…”  The hanyou looks up finding his supposed fiancée, walking around, looking quite upset.  (Shit.  Couldn’t she have just stayed in that damn place a little while longer?)

 

“InuYasha?” asks Kagome curiously.

 

“Hm?” replies the hanyou looking back at Kagome.

 

“Something wrong?”

 

“Oh um, no Kagome.  Just kind of spaced out there.”

 

“Thinking of the wedding, I bet,” says Kagome.  “Can’t wait to be married?”

 

“What?  Uh no.”  InuYasha takes Kagome hand rubbing it soothingly.  “I’m sorry Kagome.  I wish I could be with you a little longer but I need to leave now.”

 

“Awe.  Really?”

 

“Yeah.  There’s something I just remembered I still have to do.  It really can’t be helped or I’d stay with you the rest of the day.  So, listen.  I’ll drop by your place sometime this week and we’ll talk more about this a little more.  Good?”

 

“I guess so.  It’s been so nice talking to you.  Sorry you have to leave though.”

 

“Yeah, great talking to you too,” the hanyou looks back.  (There’s no telling what KiKyo’ll do if she sees me sitting with Kagome.  I’d better move my ass now before she finds me.)  “But I really need to go take care of this.”  He kisses Kagome’s hand, leans over and gives her another quick kiss on her lips.  “So, stay safe for me, Kagome, ok.”

 

“Always.  You stay safe as well, ok?” Kagome replies hesitantly, rubbing her hand while curiously watching the hanyou quickly disappear among the other shoppers.  (Wonder what was so important he had to take care of?  Maybe he’s decided on what gift to give KiKyo.  She is so lucky.)

 

The hanyou quickly makes his way around the many shoppers so he could walk up behind KiKyo, hoping to lead her away from Kagome.  “Your appointment sure didn’t last very long.”

 

KiKyo turns around and frowns.  “Where the hell did you run off to?” she says angrily. 

 

“Nowhere in particular.  Why?”

 

“I told you to wait.”

 

“So?  You really didn’t expect me to sit around like a good little dog, did you?  I would have been bored to tears in there.”

 

“Well, you couldn’t have been more disrespectful of me, Inu.  I mean how did you think I felt with I turned around and found, you were nowhere in sight.  You made me look like a total fool in front of that Tamari person.  And embarrassed?  It wouldn’t surprise me if they thought I was marrying myself.”

 

“I’d told you I didn’t want to come down here, didn’t I?  But you just had to drag my fucking ass along with you anyway.  So don’t go blaming me if I wanted to go look at something other than fucking wedding shit.  Besides, it’s your wedding, ain’t it?”

 

“It’s yours too!” 

 

“Yeah, I know,” replies InuYasha with a sigh.  “Thanks for reminding me.”

 

“The least you could have done Inu was told me you were leaving.”

 

“I couldn’t.  You were too busy talking with that lady in there, and I didn’t want to interrupt.”

 

“You knew you were to be fitted for a tux today,” she says angrily.  “I made the appointment for it and everything.  Now I have to reschedule it all over again because you wanted to wonder around and sight see.”

 

“It was way better than sitting alone in that damn place.  Anyway, you got your fitting, didn’t you?”

 

“Inuuu,” says KiKyo almost sounding like she’s growling.

 

“What, damn it?!” replies InuYasha, not backing down.

 

“I’m making another appointment for you, and you will come and be fitted, you understand me?  Damn it!  You’ve really pissed me off, you know that!  Walking away… leaving me all alone in there.  I could have been kidnapped and you wouldn’t give a damn.”

 

“Get serious KiKyo.  Who’d ever want to kidnap you?”

 

“What?!” yells KiKyo disbelievingly causing several of the shoppers to look their way.  “I’m KiKyo Oni, you dolt!  A very rich, and beautiful woman with an uncle who may be the most powerful man here in Japan.  There’s probably lots of gangs out there waiting for me to be alone, wanting to take me as hostage to use me in some evil scheme of theirs.  Maybe wanting revenge for something my uncle may or may not have done.  But do you care?”

 

“KiKyo,” replies InuYasha looking around at all the suddenly interested people.  “Cool it, will ya?  You’re making a damn spectacle of yourself.”

 

“Don’t you tell me what to do you…”  KiKyo quickly raises a hand to her head.  “Oh great, wouldn’t you know it?  I feel one of my damn headaches coming on.  Now see what you’ve done, you fucking idiot?”

 

“You wouldn’t be hav…”

 

“Oh, shut up, damn it!  I need a drink.”  KiKyo storms off leaving the young hanyou following behind.  “I asked you to do one simple thing for me… just one thing and…”

 

“Yeah, yeah,” mumbles InuYasha narrowing his eyes at the back of the woman.  (Keep pushing, bitch.  Just keep pushing.)

 

 

“Geez,” says Kagome looking down at her watch.  “Is it really that late already?  Wonder where Sango is?  I know, she hasn’t forgotten about me.  Maybe there was someplace else she needed to go.  Or there’s a traffic jam she may have gotten caught in.  I just have to be patient, that’s all.  Whatever the reason there’s no need for me to worry, cause Sango will be here soon enough to pick me up.  Think I’ll go wait for her in the food court.  Maybe grab me a milkshake while I’m there.”

 

Kagome wanders through the crowd of shoppers until reaching the food court.  She walks up to one of the counters, looks up at the menus and sighs.  (Everything gotten so expensive here lately.  And after buying this pan, I don’t have enough on me to afford anything.)

 

“What can I get you Miss?” asks the smiling clerk wiping down the counter in front of her.  “Would you like the special today?”

 

(I wish.)  “Just a cup of water please.”

 

“Sure thing.”  The clerk turns, grabs a small plastic cup and fills it with water placing it in front of Kagome.  “That will be 50 cents.”

 

“For water?” she replies surprised.  “It’s not even cold!”

 

“No, it’s for the cup.”

 

“You want 50 cents for this little tiny cup here?”

 

“That’s right.”

 

“Can’t you let me have it for free?  I’m really thirsty and I won’t tell anyone.”

 

The clerk slightly frowns.  “50 cents.”

 

(It was worth a shot, I guess.)  Kagome again sighs while pushing the cup away.  “Thanks anyway.”

 

Kagome turns to go when she hears coins being tossed down onto the counter.  She looks up, finding a tall handsome man, in his forties, short black hair and brown eyes, wearing a loose tee shirt and tight jeans smiling down at her.

 

She looks down at the quarters then up at him.  “Umm,” says Kagome with uncertainty.

 

“My treat,” he says in a deep pleasant, voice.

 

“Really?  Oh, thank you.”  Kagome grabs the cup, gulps down the water and sighs.  “Ah, that sure hits the spot.”

 

“I can tell,” the man replies with a laugh.  “Name’s Shumer, by the way.  Dr. Kenneth Shumer.  And yours?”

 

“Kagome Higurashi.  So glad to meet you Dr. Shumer.  And thank you for the water.”

 

“My pleasure.  Care for another?”

 

“No.  One, is about my limit.”

 

The doctor again laughs.  “Light drinker huh?”  Kagome replies with a slight shrug and a smile.  “Well let’s walk over to a table Kagome, and sit down for a while.  You’re looking rather tired and quite pale, as if you’re going to pass out on me any minute now.”

 

“Wouldn’t be the first time,” mumbles Kagome.

 

“Huh?  Did you say something?”

 

“Oh, don’t mind me,” replies Kagome with small wave.

 

“So, what do ya say?” the doctor replies with a nod.  “Care to keep me company for a bit?”

 

“Guess it wouldn’t hurt to get off my feet for a while.”  The two walk over to sit at a table.  “Can you believe that water actually cost 50 cents?”

 

“Things do seem to have gotten a bit more expensive these days.”

 

“Have they ever?  That guy told me the money was for the cup but,” says Kagome, “I could probably go into any grocery store and buy a bag of fifty of those same cups for a dollar.”

 

“Hey I hear ya.  People are greedy and will do just about anything for a buck.”  The doctor grabs Kagome’s wrist, and looks down at his watch. 

 

“Um, what are you doing?” asks Kagome curiously.  “I’m fine.”

 

“Just making sure,” the doctor replies still looking down at his watch.  “So, Kagome, tell me a little about yourself.”

 

 

KiKyo, still grumbling about the hanyou’s absence in the shop, and InuYasha, unhappy about having to leave Kagome, are both walking toward the restaurant.  Passing the food court InuYasha casually looks over finding Kagome sitting at a table talking with a strange man. 

 

(What the hell,) he thought slightly growling?  (No fucking way that bastard could be Kagome’s new boyfriend.)  He notices the strange man taking Kagome’s hand and growls a little louder.  (What the fuck does that bastard think he’s doing?  Kagome’s not his to play with.  She’s mine.)  He begins angrily walking toward them.  (I’m gonna put a stop…)

 

“Inu!” yells KiKyo.

 

“What, damn it?!” he loudly growls, stopping in his tracks.

 

“Where the hell do you think you’re going?  The restaurant’s this way!”

 

“But...  The hanyou looks back at Kagome, who is laughing at something the stranger said, and frowns.  “Oh, alright damn it,” he growls walking past KiKyo.  “Let’s go.  I can use a drink too.”

 

InuYasha and KiKyo, walk into the restaurant and at the hanyou’s insistence, sit in a booth by a window looking out into the food court.  He pours himself a glass of red whiskey while looking out the darkened window, watching Kagome talking with her new friend.  (Keh!  Moved on after all, did ya?  And so soon!  It seems strange, though.  When I was talking to Kagome earlier, I got the distinct impression from her scent, she still wanted me!  Guess I was just fooling myself.)  Seeing Kagome laughing seemingly having a great time with the stranger, makes the hanyou angrier, and more depressed.  (Keh!  Why that bastard, huh?  I’m ten times, no a hundred times the man that guy will ever be.  Got more to offer Kagome too.)  Each time Kagome smiles at the stranger InuYasha downs the whiskey in his glass and pours another.  KiKyo, curiously watches her hanyou, wondering what could be greatly upsetting him.

 

“You’re acting awfully strange Inu.  What the hell’s wrong with you now?” she asks curiously.

 

“Nothin’,” he growls pouring more liquor into the glass.  “You wanted a drink, didn’t ya?”

 

“Yes.

 

“We’re here, aren’t we?  You got your fucking drink?”

 

“I did but…”

 

“Then drink it and shut the fuck up, why don’t ya?!”

 

“Alright, alright.  Just a little concerned about you, that’s all.”

 

“Keh!  You?  Concerned?”

 

“Yes.  Your mood just suddenly changed.  Like…something’s really upsetting you!”

 

“Upsetting me huh?”  He downs his drink and grabs the bottle.  “Well, I’m not upset, KiKyo ok?” asks InuYasha pouring himself another one.  “I’m fucking pissed!  So, do us both a favor and shut your damn mouth!”

 

“Pissed?”  KiKyo narrows her eyes.  (Surely, he can’t be that pissed with me.  All I did was yell at him a little.  Not enough to upset him that badly, I’m sure.)  “Oh, um, by the way Inu.”

 

“Yeah?”  InuYasha downs the drink and looks out the window.  “What is it?”

 

“About tonight.  I suppose you’ll be sleeping at the garage right?”

 

“Well, duhhh.  Any reason why I shouldn’t?”

 

“No, no.  You said something earlier about having to catch up on some work.  I just wanted to let you know I have plans for tonight as well.”

 

InuYasha, while pouring another glass of whiskey, angrily looks up.  “What kind of plans?”

 

“Oh, nothing special,” replies KiKyo with a slight shrug.  “Just plans to go out…with the girls.  We’re all going to meet to discuss the wedding.”

 

“And?”

 

“Well I’d ask if you’d like to accompany me tonight, but knowing your feelings about being around other people in your changed state, I think, the garage would be the best place for you …to catch up.”  (And you can just sleep there as well.  It’ll be proper punishment for leaving me alone today.) 

 

“Keh!  The garage is fine!  It’s not like you want my company, anyway, right?  Don’t want me interfering with your damn meeting with the…girls.”

 

“Good.  Now finish your drink Inu so we can go home.  I’ll need time to get ready.”

 

InuYasha downs another glass of whiskey and picks up the bottle.  “Just go on without me, alright?”

 

“What?”

 

The hanyou slams the bottle down on the table.  “Is there something wrong with your fucking ears KiKyo?  I told you to leave, damn it!”

 

“Well, there’s no need to be so nasty about it.  We’re in a public place for gods sake.”

 

“KiKyo…I’m not in the mood to put up with anymore of your fucking shit, ok?  I’ve had enough of it.  So, just leave me the hell alone.”

 

“Alright, Inu, alright.”  KiKyo points at the glass InuYasha is again pouring whiskey into.  “Getting drunk so soon?”

 

“Does it, fucking, matter?”

 

“No, I guess not,” KiKyo picks up her purse and stands.  “Just make sure to sleep it off before coming home, alright?  We might be having company tomorrow.”

 

“Yeah, yeah.”  (Like I’ve got a fucking choice in the matter.)  InuYasha downs his drink and pours himself another while occasionally growling.  (Why the fuck should I care where I sleep anyway?  Kagome’s not gonna be there.  She’s gonna be fucking some other dude tonight.)  He downs his drink and again looks out the window.  “Shit!”

 

KiKyo leaves the establishment, leaving an angry InuYasha alone, drinking while watching the love of his life having a great time with another man, a stranger, in the Tokyo mall’s food court.

 

~~~~~~~~~~

 

A moonless night.  A, lone figure, a man, six feet with long jet-black hair and violet eyes, wearing black jeans and shirt, sits atop his black charger, watching, hoping for a glimpse of his fair maiden, before going to the garage to spend the night.  There is only darkness and silence surrounding the old apartment building, hopefully obscuring InuYasha’s presence, so he can watch the window and young woman unnoticed.

 

Kagome, brushing her long ebony hair, walks to her window to look out over the dark, medium sized parking lot, seeing only the few lighted lamps in the far distance.  InuYasha quickly sits up and smiles.  (Kagome,) he thought as his heart begins to race.  (She’s safe.  Guess that bastard got her safely home after all.)

 

Kagome deeply sighs and slowly shakes her head.  (It looks so bleak and lonely out there.  That there’s nothing out there except sadness and…and death.  Like the blackest, darkest shroud has descended and is covering everything.)  Kagome runs the brush a little slower through her hair.  (I hate nights like this.  No light, no cars running by or people walking around to watch or listen to.  Nights like this, makes it feel so sad, depressed and lonely like I’m surrounded by one big nothingness with not one single person alive in this world but me.  Not that it should matter any.  Souta’s not here anymore and Sango’s got Miroku.  Even InuYasha has KiKyo and soon they’ll be married.  Everyone, has someone with them tonight to love and keep them company.  Everyone but me.  It’s nights like this when I think Houjo may be right.  I have no one in this world to call my own.  I could die here right now, is this apartment and not one person would notice or even care.)  Kagome rubs her chest while wiping a tear from her eyes.  (Even InuYasha won’t be coming around here anymore and that’s such a painful, thought.)  She reaches to rub her temple.  (Speaking of pain, seems my headache’s starting sooner than expected, meaning another rough night of lying in bed and staring up at the ceiling… wondering about things I shouldn’t be.  I don’t understand why it is I can’t sleep.  I should be able to.  I take my medicine.  I drink warm milk, listen to calming music but nothing works anymore.  Not like they used to.  I wonder if I’m the only one suffering through this.  InuYasha told me today he was having a hard time sleeping as well, didn’t he?  Was it true, or was he lying, trying to make me feel better?)  Kagome slightly smiles.  (Probably the latter.  InuYasha’s a kind man.  He doesn’t like to see anyone in pain.

 

Who it is he thinks about when he’s alone, I wonder?  InuYasha said it’s me but I doubt that’s true.  Why think of me when he has a smart and beautiful woman at his side?  I’ve no doubt he’s in bed now, fast asleep, holding KiKyo in his arms, after making passionate love to her.  I’m probably the last person he’s thinking about right now.  InuYasha could be such a liar.

 

Kagome deeply sighs and again looks out her window.  (I shouldn’t even care who he’s thinking about anyway.  I’m not his fiancé, or even his girlfriend.  He doesn’t belong to me so what is it that’s making me feel this way?  Why do I get so agitated and depressed whenever I think of him being with her?  Am I jealous, is that it?  He and I are only friends.  Friends can’t be jealous of each other.  Besides, it’s been almost three weeks since InuYasha and I have spent any real time together so any feeling I had for him should have faded away long ago.  Only, they didn’t fade away.  They’d only gotten stronger and I don’t know what to do with them.  Today, when I ran into him at the mall, my heart felt so light, like it was going to fly right out of my chest.  I wanted so badly to jump into his arms, tell him how much I’d missed him, hoping he’d tell me the same that he’d changed his mind about marrying KiKyo.  InuYasha can change his mind, can’t he?  No one’s forcing him to stay with KiKyo so if he wants to leave her, there shouldn’t be anything holding him back.  Or is there?)  Kagome’s eyes widen.  (Could KiKyo be pregnant?  If so, then InuYasha has no choice but to marry her.  He’s a very honorable man, after all, doing the only honorable thing he can for both KiKyo and their baby.  No, InuYasha won’t leave her and I’m not selfish enough to want him to.  Not if there’s a child on the way.  I’m not taking a father from his family.  I can’t.  I know only too well what it’s like to grow up without the love of a father.  It’s painful.  So no matter how much I may love InuYasha, his child should always come first.  It has to be that way.  Could this be why I’m having these headaches…because I want a man so badly, one I can’t possibly have?  That’s got to be it.  Then there’s only one answer.  For me to stop suffering like this, to stop this pain, is to somehow, someway, force myself to stop loving InuYasha.) 

 

“Hmm?”  Kagome ceases brushing her hair to look down toward a section of the darkened parking lot.  “Is there someone out there?  Or was it just a figment of my imagination?”

 

InuYasha quickly slides down off the hood of his car, crouching low beside it so not to be seen.  (That was close.  Kagome didn’t see me just now, did she?  No, it’s way, too dark for that.  I’m human now so she wouldn’t recognize me if she did see me.  It could be her heart, I guess.  It wouldn’t surprise me, seeing as we share a special bond together.  One that will never go away.  And that’s ok.  Means there’s one thing that bastard can’t have or ever take from me. 

 

It felt strange seeing Kagome today.  So unexpected.  What’s more surprising is just how much a hold she still has on me.  It’s been over two weeks since that day.  Two weeks, and my heart still yearns for her.  Being away from Kagome all this time I thought…keh!  Doesn’t really matter what I thought cause when I saw her, at the mall all those feelings I thought lost, had locked away deep in my heart, just came rushing out, giving me, a sense of hope I haven’t felt in a hell of a long time.  Only now those feelings are stronger.  Much stronger than when I’d first met Kagome.

 

The day we stopped seeing each other was the day I finally accepted my engagement to KiKyo.  I thought I’d got my life back on track, that Kagome no longer matter to me and I could return to the life I had before.  But I I was only fooling myself.  I don’t want those other bitches or any other bitch for that matter.  I only want Kagome.  I still love her.  Which only makes his marriage shit to KiKyo worse.  When saw Kagome, it was as if nothing had changed between us, that I could have reached out, took her in my arms and kissed her so hard, not giving a damn who was watching.  Like we were a real normal couple.  Oh, I realize she’s gotten over me.  That little scene back in the food court convinced me of that.  Kagome probably hasn’t thought about me in a long time.  That’s how the saying goes isn’t it?  Out of sight, out of mind.  It’s different for me though.  Kagome’s never left my mind, not completely.  Seeing her today only proved I’ve never stopped thinking about her.  Never stopped wondering where she is, what’s she’s doing or…or who’s she with.  No, I’d be a fool if I kept denying it.  I still want to be with Kagome, to live and have a family with her.

 

Seeing that bastard sitting with Kagome.  Now that really pissed me off.  Sitting with Kagome, holding her hand, having such a damn good time.  I don’t think I’ve ever wanted to kill as badly as I wanted to, today.  Why if it wasn’t for KiKyo, I would have walked right over to them, pulled his fucking ass right out of his chair, and ripped him apart.  And why?  I was fucking jealous, that’s why.  Jealous he was there sitting with her, staring into her dark beautiful eyes, touching her.  Jealous it was him and not me making her laugh and smile like that.  That bastard had no right being with Kagome.  Had no right holding her hand.  I would do anything for Kagome, give her anything.  Could he say that?  Could he protect Kagome as I can, keep her safe as I can?  Keh!  Not likely.  I would have brought Kagome home today myself.  I wanted to.  Only KiKyo was there still nagging my damn ass, while that damn bastard made his fucking moves on Kagome…on MY fucking woman!

 

It’s my own fucking fault though this shit is happening to me.  I agreed to marry KiKyo.  Though at the time, I really didn’t think Kagome wanted me.  But seeing Kagome again, hearing her sweet voice.  I could think of nothing I wanted more than to hold her in my arms.  To grab her and just run away … run as far away from KiKyo from this whole damn world just so I could be alone with her.  It’s what I still want.  But with the situation I’m in with KiKyo it’s just not possible.  Even now it’s taking all that’s within me to keep from walking up those fucking stairs, take Kagome in my arms and make passionate love to her over and over no matter who’s up there with her.  It’s just the past…my past is stopping me from doing that.  Those fucking promises I made to love and protect KiKyo for all eternity.  If only it were Kagome, I made those promises to.  I’d gladly protect her, give my life for her without hesitation.  I’d be the happiest man in the world if that were possible.  But…)  InuYasha looks up at the window.  (That world is way beyond me now.)

 

“Why Kagome?” asks the hanyou sadly.  “Just when I thought it was over, that I’d gotten over you, why did you have to walk right back into my fucking life like this?!  Why the hell can’t I just forget you?”  (I should have gone ahead and confessed to Kagome that I still…  But it wouldn’t have made any difference.  I’d still be marrying KiKyo.)

 

Tears begins forming in his eyes and he slightly smiles.  (You look so damn beautiful standing up there like that Kagome.  Like a princess in a romance novel, staring out over her vast kingdom, waiting for her knight in shining armor to come for her.  If only I could be that knight.  What would you do Kagome, if I did come for you…just walked up there now and take you in my arms, claimed you as my own.  After everything that’s happened would you still accept me?  Or would you come to hate me even more?)  Kagome turns from her window and walks away.  “No!” the hanyou whines.  “Kagome, don’t leave yet.”  InuYasha grits his teeth looks to the ground and again clinches his fist.  “I want…you to stay.”  Tears spill from the hanyou’s eyes.  “I don’t want to be without you.  The loneliness is just too painful for me to bear.”  He wipes his eyes of moisture and tries to smile.  “You remember, don’t you?  The day you gave yourself to me?  It was the happiest I’d ever been.  Holding you in my arms, feeling such a contented peace I’d never before felt with any other bitch.  I was proud you allowed me to be with you.  That I was your first.  You’re mine, Kagome, don’t you know that?  Since that day we’ve belong to each other.  Our hearts, our very souls became tightly entwined, never to be parted.  I’m the only one who can love you Kagome, like you should be loved.  I’m totally devoted only to you.  You will always be mine as I am yours, even after I say my vows to KiKyo.  KiKyo.  She will never own my heart and soul Kagome because I simply can’t give them to her or to anyone else.  They’re no longer mine to give Kagome because you possess them now.  If only you’d realized that.  Feel my heart beating for you, heard my soul calling, waiting to hear your call to me.  Can’t you understand fair maiden?  I love you so desperately it hurts.

 

The lights in the apartment go out and the hanyou grits his teeth.

 

Will that bastard be there, waiting for her in our bed?  Will he be touching her body tonight; fucking her?  Will he know to be gentle and patient?  Or is he just another Hobo bastard, who will end up hurting her instead.  Oh, why couldn’t it be me up there?  My body aches, so badly to fly with her again, to touch her soul and become one with her.  But, I can’t.  KiKyo’s seen to that.  Because of her, I have to keep remembering that it’s just too late for me.  That I’m not allowed to experience the pleasure, the joy of being with Kagome again.)

 

The hanyou looks down at the blood in his hand from clenching his fist so tightly.  “Shit.  Is this what my future holds for me now?  Loneliness, pain…and misery?  All that I really want …it’s all been taken from me.  Fucked up but a fucking 500-year-old promise I made.  KiKyo… my future wife…my…mate?)  The hanyou violently shakes his head.  “No.  NO!” he yells.  “No way in hell will I ever allow that to happen.  At least I have control over that aspect of my life.  No other shall I take for my mate.  No one, except Kagome.

 

What will this night hold for her, I wonder.  Dreams…nightmares?  Will she be dreaming of me tonight?  As he holds her, will she dream of me holding her…making love with her?  When he touches her, will she see me running my claws gently over her soft skin as I taste her?  When he kisses her, will she only see me?  I know what I’ll be dreaming of in my own private paradise when I sleep.  Kagome…making love to only me.)  The half demon again clenches his hand.  (I want it to be me, damn it.  I want it to be now!  I want so badly to go to you Kagome, to be with you that I can’t really think straight.  And if it’s this bad for me before the wedding, just think how miserable it’s going to be after.  How the hell can I live the rest of my life, like that?!)

 

InuYasha’s frown deepens noticing the dim light over the skyline of the city.  (Shit!  The damn sun’s coming up.  Can’t believe I sat here all damn night mooning over a woman I can’t have.  Must be true then.  Love can make a person do strange things.  Do what they normally wouldn’t.  Which only proves how truly miserable my future’s going to be.)

 

“Well.”  The hanyou stands and dusts the back of his black jeans.  “It is what it is, I guess.”  (Nothing’s going to change for me so it’s best I get over it already, and get my ass out of here.  Someone might come along and mistake my ass for a burglar or something.  Either that or I’ll forget myself and go up there anyway, making a damn fool of myself, maybe even kill that bastard.  So before things gets any worse for me, I’ll go ahead and drive back to the garage, maybe get so fucking drunk I won’t give a damn anymore, who the hell Kagome’s sleeping with.  Maybe then I’ll be able to forget her.  Maybe this damn pain in my body and soul will finally go away so I can go on with my fucking miserable life.)  ”Yeah, right.”

 

“I seriously doubt there’s enough whiskey in this whole fucking world that could do that for me.”  InuYasha gets into his vehicle, wipes his eyes of tears, places the key in the ignition and sadly looks up.  “Guess this is good bye …my sweet maiden.  We won’t be seeing each other ever again.  So please…please don’t forget me.”