InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Forest for the Trees ❯ “I knew a Buddhist once, and I’ve hated myself ever since.” ( Chapter 9 )

Abandon all hope yee who enter here looking for smut…cause there ain't any…you'll have to come back next chapter.

Forest for the Trees

Chapter 9; "I knew a Buddhist once, and I've hated myself ever since."

"Its time I sling these baskets from this overburdened horse. Sink my toes into the ground and set a different course. Cause if I was here and you were there, I'd meet you in between. And never till my dying day, confess what I had seen."

~Phish "Horse"

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Her body was slumped over his, blissful and limp. Every once in a while she would hum low in her throat, making a purring sound. After a good deal of time had passed, she jerkily sat up and gave her favorite person in the whole world a heart stopping grin. One of Miroku's soul piercing indigo eyes slid open when he felt the cool breeze roll across his chest.

"You're still drunk aren't you?" He asked.

She gave a childlike giggle and slumped boneless back onto his chest.

"Yeeep."

"Thought so." He breathed out, rubbing a hand up and down her back. He slid her down next to his side, and she immediately cuddled into his side throwing her leg over his waist. She sighed contentedly and traced concentric circles up and down his chest. "We should go back to camp."

"I know." She said in a sad voice. "Wouldn't it just be easier if we just told them? Or did it in front of them?"

Miroku seemed to consider this. "For some reason I don't think that would be a good idea." He said after awhile.

"Why not?" She demanded pushing herself up onto one elbow and pouting.

"Well… Inuyasha would kill me…" he pointed out in a calm and staid voice.

"Pshaw!" Exclaimed Kagome, looking astounded. "Why would he kill you? That's silly. I mean it might be a little embarrassing, but at least we'd be next to a fire for once…and not sneaking around."

"Kagome." He said her name as if it broke down all the problems of the universe into itty bitty mathematical equations that anyone could easily compute. And Kagome it seems, had a well working calculator. She deflated, head dropping, shoulders slumping, just looking generally defeated. Miroku gently eased damp dark strands off her brow, tucking them behind her ear.

"I don't like this." She said quietly. "I don't like this being so…so…UG! I don't know. I just, I'm happy. Why can't I share this? Why can't people know you're mine? You are mine you know. Don't bother trying to argue with me."

The corners of Miroku's mouth curled. "Yours huh?" He asked in a soft way. "Does that mean your mine?" The backs of his fingers traced her cheek bone.

Kagome melted like chap stick in the dryer. She was the ooey gooey center of an undercooked chocolate chip cookie. She knew what it felt like to be a candy bar left on the dash of a car on a hot day. And it was grand! "Yeah." She sighed. "I'm yours." Their eyes stayed locked on each others, and Miroku slowly rose up to brush his lips against hers. She closed her eyes on a sigh and leaned into him. his fingers curled into her hair, just enjoying the feel.

"One day I'm going to wake up," he muttered against her lips "and I don't know…I just can't..." She leaned in to shut him up then, the nip of her teeth cutting off his words. When he pulled away he saw that her eyes remained closed, lips slightly parted, a dreamy smile curving them. He felt something in him warm, flow, something he couldn't ever hope to describe. Passing the pad of this thumb over her swollen mouth, he realized it was happiness in it's purest form.

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Her eyes fluttered as she heard them approaching camp once again. She didn't know how long they had been gone, but judging by the fire, it had been awhile. Inuyasha was snoring contentedly, sprawled on the ground a few feet away. He gave no clue that he had heard them leave or return.

She could hear Kagome's giggling and the low rumble of Miroku's voice. Hidden by the darkness of night, and her own half lowered lids, she studied them. The monk's hair was still unbound, and Kagome looked pleasantly rumpled. She was leaning against him as he led her to the tree they had so earlier abandoned. He spread the sleeping bag down at the base of the tree, and leaned Kagome's forgotten pillow against the rough bark. He sat, and gently tugged the girl into his lap.

Sango was astonished at the look in the monk's eyes. They cuddled there, seeming just to enjoy the feel of each other. Fighting off the strong surge of jealously that engulfed her, she squeezed her eyes shut and tried to block out Kagome's blissful sighs. Their low murmurs were doing nothing to help. She suddenly had the image of herself jumping up, snatching a flaming log as she rose, and beating them senseless. Yes. Pummeling them into a fiery, bruise filled stupor. A small smile graced the girl's lips as she drifted back into a rage filled sleep.

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Kagome curled into him, fitting perfectly as she idly toyed with the prayer beads that surrounded his cursed hand. With an almost subconscious movement, he curled it into a fist. "Are you afraid?" she whispered. There was no need to clarify.

After a moments pause he replied. "If you have fear of some pain or suffering, you should examine whether or not there is anything you can do about it. If you can, there is no need to worry; if you cannot do anything; there is still no need to worry."* His hand combed through her hair, in an almost soothing gesture. She was unsure if it was meant for him or her.

She shook her head, hand clenching on the robes she had tied herself. "You must think about death. I have full faith that we will kill Naraku before…but you must have thought of it." she demanded, not knowing why. "How can you have this kind of burden and still be so calm? Still be so level headed?"

Again there was silence, when he answered her, his voice was hushed and close to her cheek. He rested his head against hers. "I have thought of it." He said. "But if you are mindful of death, it will not come as a surprise- you will not be anxious. You will find that death is merely like changing you clothes. Consequently, at that point you will be able to maintain your calmness of mind."*

"I still don't understand." She exasperated against his neck, burring her face there. And he had a sudden urge to make her understand.

"There is no way to escape death; it is just like trying to escape when you are surrounded by four great mountains, each reaching the sky. There is no escape from those four mountains of birth, old age, sickness, and death. Aging destroys youth, sickness destroys health, degeneration of life destroys all excellent qualities, and death destroys life. Even if you are a great runner, you cannot run away from death. You cannot stop death with your wealth, through your magic performance or recitations of mantras, or even your medicines. Therefore, it is wise to prepare for your death."* He laid his lips on her head, closing his eyes and just inhaling her. The way she smelled, the wonderful way she felt against him, he knew if he died now it would probably be the best way he could go.

She broke his reverie when she lifted her head to look into his humble eyes. "You are so hot." She said quietly.

Their eyes held in silence…for about half a second, and Miroku's body shook with laughter. Kagome grinned. "I'm sorry. I couldn't help it." She insisted. "You just sounded so Buddha-ish and stuff. It turns me on!" Miroku buried his head in her shoulder, unable to hold back the silent laughter that racked him. It must have been contagious, because Kagome giggled uncontrollably. "Oh come on Miroku, recite some mantras for me! I don't think I'll be able to contain myself you steaming hunk of holy man!" He drug her into a crushing hug, his forehead pressed hard against her chest. Gasping for breath, his eyes sparkling with merriment he looked up at her.

They were grinning like children. "Gods I love you." He breathed out.

And watched in rising horror as the humor drained from Kagome's face, to be replaced by shock.

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GAH! Okay, honestly I stopped because I'm not sure what to put next.

Thankyou Lady Sesshoumaru for reviewing again…you make my ego run around the room like a puppy…who has just consumed massive amounts of cocaine. You know, if it doesn't kill it, I'm sure it would make it really hyper…anyway.

Again for Samanda Hime-sama: You have made me reconsider my original plans for Sango…basically I was going to make it all smutty and totally disregard her…but now…ehh, who knows.

JadeBlueAfterGlow1: yea…oneshot…I have so many ideas for total miscreant action THERE. Mmmm….jack sparrow….

Luna the Sheikah: THANKYOU for getting the Excel Saga quote! Ilpalazzo is watching you.

R-Winner13: You are my new favorite person. That's it people! You want my love!?!?! START WITH THE PRAISE!!! TETRIS! BOW DOWN AND WORSIP PEONS!!! (see what you've done?)

Oh…and if any of you can guess the chapter title quote…I will explode. Literally. Boom. And I will do ANYTHING you ask (as long as it is within reason).