InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Forever a Shadow ❯ The Tears of a Saint ( Chapter 10 )

10. The Tears of a Saint

 

 

There is a frailty that runs throughout all humans: we care to deeply, love so unconditionally, and hate with every beat in our pathetic heart. The weakness of emotion that draws the mind of a scholar to the breast of a madman, the passion of the beast, that is all in its fleeting existence the curse of the human spirit. Is it the sins of the father, or the devoted love of the mother that changes the shape of a child mind, they are never the product of the wishes of what there parents desire. Do we love out of the paralytic fear of loneliness, or simply the trait encoded in our DNA to procreate, passing on our genetic code in a frivolous sprint for immortality, the insatiable yearning to not be alone in a life of questionable imprisonment, slave to the heart of irrational fears? Yet again if you are one to believe that we cast ourselves on the course of a sea riddled with waves of an uncertain destiny such things would seem redundant, unworthy of discussion, or mention the passive twinge of a recognizable admission of feeling.

 

 

Can you count on both hands the times you've watched the passing moment into sunset? The brief minutes when the sky erupts into a brilliant cloak of purple, oranges, and blues, have you lost you're breath at the mere insignificance of your life, staring into the abyss? Were you alone in the moment when time enraptured your soul at the sight of mans loss at the hands of nature? What would you think, what would you feel, even in the instant when each cell in your being stepped into sync with the cosmos? Did you even notice? Was your soul there, or playing the part of complacency?

 

 

These things were the enemy of Inuyasha's mind, the rational thought had left his tormented soul, and how dare menial traits become so obsolete? His life had become automation there was no longer the need to compel himself into action, the desire for emotional peace was enough to destroy the only sane remnants of his psyche. Why the soul devotion of his being was corrupted seemed a foreign thought to him, his young suffered all because of a carnal, ill placed yearning for one that would haunt his memories till the end of time.

 

 

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Inuyasha watched the afternoon fade to evening through the cracks in the blinds that allowed illumination to shine through in a deep red-orange hued haze. Kari had finally awoken, in pain, but alert, asking for her Mother, which Inuyasha skirted the question with little grace, thankful when her Auntie Rin came into the room with perfect timing, however the glower she gave to Inuyasha caused the blood in his veins to freeze instantly. Never had Inuyasha in his wildest dreams thought Rin to be capable of such wrath, then again, he never thought himself capable of infidelity either. People were always full of surprises, at this juncture in Inuyasha's life he was seeing the true nature of those around being friends and family and it scared the hell out of him.

 

 

Inuyasha made his way to the door of Kari's room quietly, glancing over his shoulder to see his daughter's amber eyes fixed on his form.

 

 

“Where you going Daddy?” Kari whispered, her vocal cords still bruised from being ventilated during surgery, her voice sounded almost like a mouse's squeak to her Fathers ears.

 

 

“I'll be back honey, I've got to, got to…”

 

 

“Clean up Karibug, your Daddy stinks,” Miroku pinched his nose as he entered the room. “he hasn't slept in a long time, he's been waiting for his sleeping princess to wake up, and now you have. So Daddy needs a shower.” Miroku yanked Inuyasha out the door nearly flinging him into the hall as he himself entered the room all smiles, and holding the biggest white teddy bear Inuyasha had ever seen in the curve if his left arm.

 

 

Kari excitedly tried to sit up thrilled to see the gift, her eyes sparkled with the joy only a new toy could bring. “Is that for me?” The girl whispered, as loudly as her voice would allow.

 

 

“Well… if the bear says it's alright he can stay with you.” Miroku pretended to converse with the stuffed bear, appearing crestfallen when the bear said it wanted to stay with Kari. “He's yours Karibug, just take good care of him okay?”

 

 

Kari nodded, accepting the overstuffed toy with her good arm; the teddy bear was her equal in size. “Only thing Uncle, my bear is not a boy, she's a girl.” Kari whispered and smiled.

 

 

“Are you sure sweetheart?” Miroku teased.

 

 

“Yep, boys are yucky.” Kari's hoarse giggle reached Inuyasha's ears in the hall, and he smiled, a genuine smile, his pup's spirits were returning, finally one good thing to come out of the past fourteen hours of his pitiable life.

 

 

“So, she's awake. Good. You look like hell. Go clean yourself up, Rin and I will look after the girls and Kikyo, just don't be gone too long Inuyasha.” Startled and weary, Inuyasha nearly stumbled into his brother, who happened to be lingering further off down the hall.

 

 

“What was that Sesshomaru? Compassion? Have I died or something?” Inuyasha was floored; Sesshomaru never cared for anyone's well being, especially not his.

 

 

“Your not dead yet, but the night is just getting started.” Sesshomaru raised a brow, perhaps his brief levity was an act of contrition, more than likely not. “Before you say something stupid, no, I am not going to apologize for my earlier remarks when we were in Kikyo's room, however my dearly loved wife, nearly decapitated me, once she found out what I said. I still feel that way Inuyasha, but Rin made me realize we can't all be as infallible as yours truly.”

 

 

“Pompous ass.” Inuyasha grumbled, his body was giving out, he had been with out sleep for nearly thirty-six hours, well knowing he could push himself further, but the emotional drain was just that, a drain, sapping every ounce of strength left to Inuyasha's body.

 

 

“Tenkai is waiting in the garage to take you home, he will bring you back as well.” Sesshomaru straightened himself from the wall walking toward Kari's room. “I suggest you pack a bag, you are in this for the long haul Inuyasha.”

 

 

“Why are you helping me Sesshomaru?” Weary, Inuyasha watched his brother with cautious concern in his eyes.

 

 

“You're still my little brother, even if you had a human mother, Rin is human as well, I guess we can't control who our hearts decide to love. All I know is I would be adrift in this life with out my Rin, so I know deep down you are still in love with your wife, and the love in your eyes for your pups is easy for even a blind man to read.”

 

 

“Thank you Sesshomaru.” The words of gratitude jumped from Inuyasha's mouth before he had time to think, Sesshomaru seemed just as astonished, but acknowledged the remark with a nod.

 

 

Inuyasha made his way to a twin set of elevators, one of which would usher him to the awaiting limo, and eventually home to his vacant condo. The weight of having to step across that threshold was nearly intolerable; Inuyasha knew as soon as the familiar scents of his family greeted him, his hanyou heart would shatter. What Inuyasha was unaware of was the couple entering the hospital at the moment he sat down in the overly plush car seat, resigning himself to his own personal nightmare. One that he feared he would never awaken from.

 

 

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A self-assured, with a wicked smile across his lips, Kouga walked hand in hand with a noticeably apprehensive Kagome into the foyer of the Sisters of Mercy Hospital, Kagome glanced around with rising anxiety, her eyes met the downcast gaze of the Holy Mother, a beautiful oil paining which looked as if it belonged at the Vatican not in a hospital of a U.S. metropolis. Mary's eyes caused Kagome's heart to jump erratically, and her stomach to do flips in her abdomen, immediately she was thankful that all she ate at dinner was a salad. Kagome could swear the lifelike painting was cataloging Kagome's sins as the couple walked to the mahogany information desk.

 

 

A slightly overweight, middle aged woman looked up from her paperback, as the dim glow from her computer monitor lit her plain face Kouga leaned on the desk, his marauding smile causing the woman's eyes to widen with either fear or smoldering desire, the later more believable as Kagome noticed the well read romance novel the woman was trying to cover with her hands.

 

 

“How may I help you sir?” The woman's mousy voice irritating Kouga's sensitive ears, yet he continued to pour on the charisma, the woman nonetheless awestruck, Kouga figured no man with looks ever gave this creature a moment of attention.

 

 

“You my delicate concierge could point the way to the room of a Mrs. Kikyo Chinkara.” Kouga purred, releasing Kagome's hand and swiveled the computer monitor his way.

 

 

“Oh,” The clerk clearly frowned, hesitantly meeting Kouga's eyes briefly. “Are you family sir?”

 

 

“Actually no, but my ravishing lady friend is the assistant of Mr. Inuyasha Chinkara, so you could very well call her family.” Kouga winked to the woman, who nervously played with a strand of her hair that had fallen from the bun atop her head. Kouga took notice of the hospital badge she wore not to mention her name. “Marie is it, surely you could make a exception for us, do we look like the press, or someone who would do harm to the Chinkara family?”

 

 

“Well no sir, I wouldn't presume to know what your intentions are, but I do not have the authority to allow you to that floor. I could lose my job, and I need this job sir.” Marie fidget even more in her seat, apprehension sneaking into her voice, as it seemed she finally noticed Kouga's unusual ears, giving way to the realization of the youkai that stood before her.

 

 

Kagome strayed away from Kouga looking at the finery of the lobby; she guessed the Chinkara family would be staying in the hospital equivalent of a suite. Sesshomaru and his money would have nothing but the best; his family was never for want. Why should they, the family owned more real estate globally than any one independent country, the former Taiyoukai was a vicious businessman, and Sesshomaru was a formidable foe as well, perhaps more so than his father; it was Inuyasha that showed heart, to the great chagrin of his youkai family, that was only one reason of the many why Kagome found herself loving him. Now she found herself missing him, well knowing she should have not stepped one foot into this place, it was wrong, if she had a mind about her she should turn right around and leave, so why was she still standing in front of the painting of Mary, feeling tears swell in her eyes? Would the blessed virgin cry for her, or send her with a smile through the gates of hell?

 

 

“Kagome?”

 

 

Startled, with tears threatening to fall, Kagome turned toward the feminine voice that called out for her. Kagome sighed in relief when Sango stepped out of the elevator, with a scowl twisting her features to deep wrath. Before Kagome could even utter a word from her lips Sango had slapped her to the ground, under the watchful eyes of Mary, a surprised Kouga, and an equally stunned desk clerk.

 

 

“You have some nerve to show your face here. Do you want to cause more problems, than you already have? Are you stupid or what!?” Sango seethed, her voice quivering, and her hands tightly fisted at her sides.

 

 

 

“Excuse me but stop hitting my intended before I am forced to take action, and I do not wish to hit a woman.” Kouga placed his hand on Sango's shoulder, only to have her angrily throw it off. “I see.”

 

 

“Oh shut the fuck up, you arrogant egotistical bastard! This does not concern you!” Sango was enraged at the mere sight of Kagome at this moment. “Get out of here Kagome, right now before I end up in jail.”

 

 

Kagome scampered to her feet, the tears now flowing freely, distraught she raced into the evening, leaving Kouga behind, she ran blindly into the night, knocking pedestrians out of her way, the terrible weight of her sins crushing the life from her soul, she could feel it intensely smothering her mind and body.

 

A/N: The beginning of the story is a bit philosophical, but I hope you like it. Sorry for the delay, I have got a lot going on with my parents, and I can barely find time for myself, but I finally updated. Please review if you have the time.