InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Forever a Shadow ❯ Conflict of the Heart ( Chapter 15 )

15. Conflict of the Heart

 

 

Inuyasha stepped out into the hallway leaving Kikyo who clearly had nothing more to say on the matter, at least for the moment. She remained stoically silent after her last comment. Rather than cause his wife more distress Inuyasha left Kikyo alone to her own thoughts, hopefully she would allow some discussion once she cooled off. The shock to her body alone from the wreck would be enough for any person, but the mental distress from Inuyasha's actions only compounded their problems.

 

 

“So she's awake I see.” Sesshomaru was casually leaning against the wall, impeccably dressed and groomed like always. “Threw you out already.” The elder Chinkara smirked, slowly shaking his head. “So that's it, your out on your ass. You knew it would come to this little brother. Was it worth it Inuyasha, was the Higurashi woman worth loosing your family?”

 

 

“Shut up Sesshomaru. I'm in no mood.” Inuyasha glared at his brother, angered, ever if Sesshomaru was right, he didn't want to hear it right now, especially from him.

 

 

“Oh you poor little pup, good thing Father is not around. What ever Kikyo decides to do to you is not enough, it could never be enough, and in no way do you ever betray your mate. You just learned that lesson a bit to late, that's all.”

 

 

Inuyasha growled deep in his chest. The anger was not directly focused on Sesshomaru, he was angered with himself, but Sesshomaru was just a better target. “Yea, like you're so fucking infallible. You don't have to always act so smug, how about a little consideration for you family, not that you ever would care, if not for Father I wouldn't even have a job.”

 

 

“The spoiled little brat as always brother.” As brother left Sesshomaru's lips Inuyasha swung, connecting the hit to his jaw, in all honesty Sesshomaru could have stopped the punch easily, but the InuTaisho knew Inuyasha needed to vent some amount of rage out of his soul before he completely turned it in upon himself like a festering black tumor, how could Inuyasha continue to hold everything in without some sort of release? It would do nothing for his offspring, and Sesshomaru knew that fact all too well, he may not be a father, but he knew what such intense emotion unchecked could eventually do. “Feel better?”

 

 

“Fuck off.” Inuyasha quickly made his way down the hall to the elevators, the growl still resounding in his chest, his wrath was completely for himself, but he worried about running into Sango, or Miroku, even worse would be Rin, he had to go somewhere, Inuyasha knew he couldn't leave the hospital, just in case something happened, but he still had to get off the floor.

 

 

“As eloquent as this one would expect from you Inuyasha.” Sesshomaru gave a small smile as he put a tentative hand to his jaw.

 

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Marie sat alone, eleven at night again all to keep her company was the eighteenth century romance novel of Venetian decent, the story of love lost and gained by courtesan favor thrilled the girls heart to near bursting, and her mind eagerly played along. Her fantasy of the raven-haired blue eyed devil of two nights ago fresh on her celibate mind, weaving her newly found prince into a world of water and love. The lobby was empty, and the security guard Mikey had done his rounds not ten minutes ago, so she would have no human contact for at least another forty-five minutes, she was free to lay in a gondola, savoring the flavors of old Venice to her hearts content. Her cerulean-eyed prince at the forefront of her imagination, even if he happened to be of youkai decent, it actually made her thoughts gallop a bit faster, the hint of forbidden love always made for good romance. Marie read on engulfed in the ladies playing the role of the courtesan to those of money, she wished to be swept up in such a life, where the right suitor could change ones life in a heartbeat.

 

 

Then he stepped off the elevator, a character walking right out of her book, his alabaster hair glistening in the austere light of the fluorescents, the saffron sad eyes, screaming his heartache, his dress of noble decent rumpled, as if cast aside, here was a man lost in unrequited love, if Marie had ever seen such a creature be he in her imagination, or out of the pages of a great novelist. Such sad eyes, Marie could not help but stare, as Inuyasha headed her way, she nearly fell out of her chair at his approach, why couldn't the human men be so beautiful?

 

 

“Excuse me miss, which way to the cafeteria?” After all of the time in the hospital, he had never even set foot in the place, Sesshomaru always had meals and drinks delivered to the floor. The woman continued to gawk at him, unnerving Inuyasha a bit. “What?”

 

 

“You're like the other man aren't you?” Marie shook her head realizing the difference. “No, your ears are different. Yours are more like dogs.”

 

 

“That's just rude.”

 

“Oh sorry sir, it's just I have never seen two such handsome demons in that many days. You're so different from the other one with the Ms. Higa…Higa…oh, I'm horrible with names…” Marie rambled incoherently; she couldn't keep her mind on track with such an attractive man in her presence.

 

 

“ We prefer youkai, but that doesn't matter, please miss, the cafeteria?” Inuyasha sighed, leaning on the information desk, completely blocking out whatever the woman was going on about.

 

 

“See, he was polite too, but those unnatural intense blue eyes, wow. And to think a normal woman landed one that looked like him, but she seemed kinda like you, so sad, I don't think she liked the guy she was with, she was someone's assistant or something…”

 

 

Wait! Did she try and say Kagome's name? Was Kagome here? Inuyasha felt instantly guilty for the fact that the mere though of Kagome sent his pulse to race, had she come to see him? No, no, that would be insanity, but still?

 

 

“What did she look like?” Inuyasha's heart pounded in his ears, why would she come? “What did she look like?!” The urgency in Inuyasha's voice finally silenced the plain looking clerk.

 

 

“Huh?” Marie went wide-eyed with surprise over the urgent tone of the hanyou; Inuyasha was now leaning over her information desk looking eye to eye with her. “Um, she was petite, and beautiful black hair that looked like silk, I just remember thinking how much I would love hair like that, but I really didn't get a good look at her until the other woman with the brown hair hit her. I thought I was going to have to call security on them.”

 

 

Someone hit Kagome? Who the hell would hit Kagome? It doesn't matter; she was here, but why?

 

 

Inuyasha felt his heart clinch up into a ball, making it incredibly hard to suddenly breath, he had given Kagome no reason why he stopped calling, why he stopped caring, why he never returned her calls since that night his world collapsed, but there was also heavy guilt there as well. How could he try to save her feelings, Inuyasha knew full well that he had to break it off with his alluring siren, if she would even talk to him again, the wolf would never allow him to be close to Kagome again, he had claimed her. Inuyasha couldn't save her from hurting, but he never said he would make a life with her either, just like a man, now Inuyasha understood why women called men dogs. He fit the profile perfectly, but he was normally such a loyal dog. There was still a part of his heart that hurt knowing that she came as far as the hospital to see him, but why? Why with Kouga, something just didn't make sense? Inuyasha recognized the brief description from the night clerk to know that it was indeed the wolf Kouga that escorted Kagome into the hospital lobby. It was once upon a time wherever Kagome would lead Inuyasha would blindly follow, be it out of lust for the woman or a growing devotion, which Inuyasha fooled himself into thinking it could possibly be love. There was still a part of him that felt hollow without Kagome, and that guilt was turning him inside out, Inuyasha refused to give in, and he was determined to be the devoted husband, Inuyasha knew he had to win his Kikyo back, even if it broke Kagome's heart, even if it destroyed his own heart as well. Could it be possible to love them both, he couldn't love them both, could he?

 

 

If he could step in Kikyo's shoes and see things her way, his misplaced feeling for Kagome would ruin any chance they had for resolution, Inuyasha had to have Kikyo back, even if he lived the next year of his life on his knees crawling through glass shards Inuyasha would do it, no, he had to pull himself together, he could not escape the sins of the past, nothing would ever again come easy. Inuyasha knew that he had to close off the empty space in his heart that held the feelings for Kagome; they must become nothing but a bad memory. Would they ever fade away? Would each day get easier until Kagome seemed nothing but a dream? Where did he begin? Inuyasha knew had nearly lost everything, he just wanted to feel the love of his family, he longed for that somehow forgotten love, he pined for the happiness he shared with Kikyo, Kikyo was home to his heart, but what if she never took him back? Inuyasha feared he would lose his mind, it roamed far away, not wanting to accept the inevitable pain that was coming in the storm clouds, all he wanted was to get home, home with his family, they were his everything, Inuyasha felt that to the very core of his being, he just wanted to find his way home to his mate and pups, how could he abandon his old life? But Kagome, she loved him too…

 

 

For a brief moment Inuyasha panicked, turning from the over talkative attendant at her post, and with a hell born purpose he marched toward the sensor activated sliding door, determined to find Kagome and make sure she was alright. As his foot reached the threshold Inuyasha froze, his loyalties in question once again, there should be no force on earth that should be able to drive him from his discontented Kikyo. So he stood, like a madman, questioning his fate, if he crossed that line he would bid adieu to his life with Kikyo, saying goodbye to whatever chance there could be for reconciliation, and for what? Relief over the tremendous guilt he felt for abandoning Kagome, better yet betraying Kikyo and the girls? Why should his mind and heart waiver for a woman who in all aspects he barely knew? Was it worth it? Inuyasha about-faced striding to the closest of the lobby's overstuffed leather chairs, his entire being shaking uncontrollably, what was he about to do?

 

 

 

Oh my god, I almost walked out of my family's life didn't I? You are a fool, no wonder Sesshomaru is always so self righteous with me, he's right! I am a fucking idiot!

 

 

Inuyasha practically collapsed into the chair, righting himself before his body hit the floor, the mind and body were in shock, numb, how could he even think about Kagome at a time like this, what were the implications, what did it all mean? His ears began to ring to a deafening pitch, and Inuyasha's vision blurred as he frantically kept his eyes locked on the only anchor Inuyasha had left to him, his wedding ring, the only anchor but for how long? Kikyo was going to leave him adrift, and the mind of the hanyou could no longer process the pain. Inuyasha's eyes rolled to the back of his head, as nearly lifeless he slumped into the folds of the chair.

 

 

The blackness of unconsciousness gave way to a memory long buried; he was here in this very place over seven years ago, walking through this lobby with Sesshomaru, the final days of his Father's life. Inuyasha dreaded to remember such things; his mind was even forsaking him. With a heavy heart Inuyasha remembered stepping off of the elevator shuffling his feet to his sire's bedside, trying so hard not to let his brother see how upset he truly was, even though it was the hardest thing he had experienced so far in his life, he was still millennia's old, yet the love of his Father was all he had left after his Mother passed so many eons ago. Yet as his Father lay dying still looking the imposing site the InuTaisho always was, she appeared, God he had sent him a angel in his hour of need, an angel with brilliant clear eyes, and raven hair, and a smile to light up any room, and a voice to sing in heavens choir, Kikyo. Inuyasha never assumed love at first sight existed until his eyes drank her in, every cliché he ever heard about love fit the very moment there eyes met, at least to Inuyasha, Kikyo would later revel to him that she had felt the same. The warmth of the memory reached throughout Inuyasha's body, how long had it been since he had thought about how reserved, and nervous he was that he could barely speak at their very meeting, how had he had forgotten the words he told Sesshomaru and Father when Kikyo left the room after their brief first meeting.

 

“I promise you both, I am going to marry that angel.”

 

 

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Kagome's apartment was empty, her scent barely a reminder to Kouga where she lived, his intended never returned home that night or any after it for that matter. Kouga could feel his rage building wildly inside his body, bubbling, and burning through him like a sickness. How could Kagome abandon him, no woman ever tossed him aside, he did that, no stupid bitch would ever dare, and certainly no stupid human bitch. The infuriated alpha ranted through Kagome's apartment tearing pictures off their hooks, and slamming holes into the walls as he tramped his way into Kagome's empty bedroom, the growl that Kouga was keeping under control turned into a snarl as a recognizable glint on the nightstand caught his feral eye, his engagement ring lay taunting him for its owner had abandoned the ornament for Kouga to find. The wolf's growl became louder and even more possessed, as Kouga slipped the ring onto his pinky finger, and pitched the nightstand through the balcony doors, it flew shattering the air in an arc of splintered glass over the rail, Kouga hoped it hit some dumb human in its landing, but the way his past few days were going he doubted he would be so lucky.

 

 

“It's that fucking Inuyasha, that god damned hanyou has hidden my mate from me. No one just disappears.” Kouga stormed back toward the door sinking his claws into both hallway wall as he made his exit, surely when the police arrive they will be a bit taken aback, Kouga wished he could remain to greet them simply to get the satisfaction of a kill.

 

 

His blood was now screaming for the hunt, and the pleasure of death that only he could supply like no other creature on earth. The bloodlust consumed the youkai as he flew down the back stairwell to avoid any detection by Kagome's neighbors.

 

 

“I'll be coming for you soon Kagome, I promise.” Kouga wickedly smiled a full fanged grin, as the near berserk alpha wolf tore out of Kagome's parking garage, his Jeep barely keeping traction, as the colorful lights of squad cars and an ambulance could be seen further off down the street. “Huh, guess I did hit someone after all…good.”

 

 

 

 

A/N: Okay, I know I made Kouga a bit OOC but I need him to be a maniacal asshole. What do you think of the chapter?