InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Forever Pain ❯ Chapter 35~Unexpected Chages! ( Chapter 37 )

Forever Pain

 

 

By Mija

 

 

Disclaimer~yes I know I dont own any of them, just using em and all...and if this part of the fic bothers you then please go elsewhere. As I have said before this fic potrayes my life on a level, so when I write it , it has alot to do with my own family and such, so I will say that my step father whom I loved with all my heart and soul as my real father recently passed away, about a week and a half ago...he was so much a part of my life, I didnt know I would miss him so much till he was gone. It hurts. But as you know this fic is not so fluffy and soft, it has alot of sad turns and twists, who would of ever expected my step dad to pass away??? I sure and the hell didnt, and to top it off my grandmother died a week before him. Its hard but I sometimes find writing helps with my stress. I know this chap wont be long but I do hope you have more patience with me till then. Thank and best wishes Mija.

 

 

Chapter 33~Unexpected Changes! (dedicated to my step father-I love you much)

 

 

 

 

~~~Kagome had managed to avoid Inuyasha for a week, and selfishly she had not realy noticed much else. She had heard that her step father, who she had and always would think of as her true father was in the hospital. It was not the first time so she had not paid much mind. Well except to go visit him and tease him as she always did, by calling him old man and telling him he would be just fine, that he wouldnt want to leave a beautifull wife as her mom alone to all the males in the world. It was jokes and she had every confidence in the world that he would recover as he always did. It had come as a big shock when her mother called from the hospital one night after she'd gotten off work, to tell her he had passed away in his sleep.

 

 

~~~Kagome couldnt grasp that. She asked her mom again "what?" and her mom repeated it, sounding drained and as if she was almost out of her own life force. She really didnt expect them, she hadnt thought that part of her heart would be shattered. All she really recalled was looking into space and feeling the stinging of tears and the way the sting hurts your nose. Then tears flowed. They wouldnt stop. They kept coming and coming. Even when she had hung up with her mom she continued to cry. Why? Why? Why? She didnt understand. He was fairly young and should not have passed away. Her Mom had said he was in alot of pain and that he wished to end his suffering. But why??? Why?? This was the echo in her head. No one would ever understand the way she felt.

 

 

~~~People didnt give credit to the men and women who took children in who were not thier own. But her step father had and even when they butted heads, he had been there, always. Her true father had been abusive and mean, this man had replaced that with love and yes even stubborness. He was her father and she loved him dearly. When he had passed a part of her had shattered with him. Can anyone understand this? He was there for her. He was the only father figure that they really ever knew. But could anyone understand her sorrow? Her grief? She was not biologically his but in her heart she was his father and she loved him with her heart and sould and she believed he did as well. Was it wrong to grieve for him? Was it wrong to wish that it was all a nightmare???

 

 

~~~If that were not bad enough her mother and herself had just laid to rest her grandmtoher, her mothers mother. But she was very old and very religous and Kagome knew in her heart, especially from what her grandmother used to talk to her about, that she was waiting for the day to be with the one almighty Lord and God. So she knew her grandmtonher was ok she believed and Kagome believed she was with our lord. But her step father?? Her FATHER? He had fought that. He couldnt believe that a lord would put him threw so much sorrow. But in the end he had asked for forgiveness and accepted him. To her mother that was all she wanted but for Kagome,. she was lost still, yes she believed in God and all and yes it was a blessing to have him ask for forgivness and to aid him. But she couldnt stop hurting. She couldnt seem to find the same comfort as her mom did.

 

 

~~~Yes her mother loved him with all her heart and soul. She was living day by day, trying to cope. He was her soulmate. Her eternal love. But she was being strong. Being the woman she had always known. For them. For her. She wanted to scream. She wanted to be the strong one. To be the one there for here mother. But every time she tried she would brake down and sob and cry her heart out. That was not what her mother needed. So Kagome had to be strong. Even her sister Rin hadnt shown up for the funeral and all, she was in her own world. Kagome didnt once doubt that her sister loved thier step dad, it was just Rin was just so self involvled with her own troubles and seemed to be in her own head and didnt care much for anyone else. Which really hurt her and her mother.

 

~~~It was a beautifull ceromony. The honor gaurd, who came cause he was a veteran, had made a big speech and then saluted his coffin. He looked so handsome in his suit. Then they told the story of what a soldier was and a veteran was, how honored they were. Guns blasted outside the funeral home as they gave him the 21 gun salute of a fallen warrior, then they all saluted to him again before presenting my mom with the flag and the shells from the gun shots fired in his honor. It was so hard to sit there, to be strong. I cried. When the bugel player played taps I about died. He always said he would love it if they did that for him. My father got his wish. Then they played another tune. Dont know the name but it was an old one "When Johnny comes marching home hurray hurray." hope yall know it. (This was actually my step father actual name and it really hit hard for us. I know it doesnt fit wtith the fic but I have to vent and grieve, hope its ok)

 

 

~~~My Mother leaned against me for her strength which I was gladly there for, but there was a time I wanted to say let me be. I loved him tooooooo! He was my dad and my father and I loved him. When he died half of me passed with him. Now? Now I worry about my mother. Can she live with this??? Oh people say yes. People move on, but if you knew them, if you knew how much my mother and my dad loved each other then you would worry too. Her heart is so big and so large. When she met my step dad she knew she had met her soul mate. How can you survive loosing that? If it hurt me then what is it dong to her??? I hate to think of it. Hurts to much. Tomarrow I go back to work after a weeks leave, and have to face Inuyasha. Can I do it? Help me someone, please???

 

 

 

 

A//N~ok short chap but most of it is really what I feel and what happened with my step father whom I loved and will always consider as my FATHER, his loss hurts and clouds my mind so dont expect a new chap soon, please. Till the be well all and safe and happy, tell those around you that you love them before its to late and never worry how you might look like if you do. Much Hugggles and smiles Mija...:-)