InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Forgotten ❯ A Need to Cry ( Chapter 24 )

Disclaimer: I do not own Sesshomaru, Inuyasha or anyone from the hit anime/manga series. Rumiko Takahashi does. I do own all OC's and plot from this story.

 

169 years before the search for the jewel shards.

 

Chapter 21: A Need to Cry

 

Did no one realize they had done me no favors? That not challenging me when Father was still alive nor making me suffer losses in battle would harm me? Did they not know how weak this would make me? Did they even care?

-Sesshomaru

 

Sesshomaru sat away from the others. Noriko and her followers had attacked again. Everyone was hurt. They had managed to keep from losing anyone this time but only because Sesshomaru and Naomi had kept Noriko and her surviving brothers from engaging the main group. Naomi had held the two brothers off and even killed one with her dazzling interplay of physical, spiritual and celestial attacks. Naomi's weapon of choice was the glaive, a five foot pole of flexible wood with a lead weight at one end and eighteen inch blade at the other.

 

Sesshomaru's sword had managed to keep Noriko occupied but today more than any other had demonstrated his lack of skill. He had learned how to fight but he lacked true battle experience. The sword lacked individuality, trapped within the forms of the style he had been taught; rigid and predictable.

 

As the son of the Inu no Taisho, Sesshomaru had been trained but never had he sparred, let alone fought, an opponent that could push him. His poor attitude following his mother's death had put everyone around him on edge. No one would risk angering someone who was both a celestial and marginally sane. Everyone who sparred with him had lost on purpose. The only one who fought him with no intention of being defeated was Kaiyoshinju and he had avoided fights with her whenever possible. He was paying for it now.

 

The demon lord held his hand to his side where Noriko's sword and penetrated his defense. When he realized the problem he had tried to change the order of the attacks but it slowed him up as his body was not prepared for it. Noriko had not only not been fooled, she had laughed at his attempt to improvise and drove her sword passed his, slicing open his side. It had been for no other reason than to emphasize his lack of ability.

 

“A weakling spirit like yours shouldn't have alienated your people. If you had kept them at your side you wouldn't need to fight all these battles you're not suited for.”

 

“Not suited for, huh?” whispered Sesshomaru. He was the son of the great dog demon, how could he not be suited for battle? However, his inability to improvise in the midst of battle couldn't be denied anymore. Naomi was more warrior than he was. His brief glimpse of her during the fighting had given him the impression of a dancer rather than a fighter. She didn't lack in anything.

 

“Father?” Sesshomaru looked up. Naomi stood a few feet from him, her violet gaze troubled. She had taken no injuries and had been using her power to help the most critically injured.

 

“How are the others doing?” asked Sesshomaru without moving his hand from his side.

 

“Everyone just needs a good night's rest and they'll be ready to travel,” Naomi replied. Sesshomaru nodded his head but said nothing further. Naomi stepped closer and sat down next to him. “You shouldn't let what Noriko said bother you so much,” she said in a soft voice. He flinched but didn't respond. “Of course she's strong. She became the head of the family through trial-by-combat. That means she had to defeat all six of her brothers in fierce fights and some of them were older than her.”

 

“Seven,” said Sesshomaru. Naomi blinked. “There was a seventh brother, remember? He was the oldest and was expected to inherit the position as head of family as their father wished. She called for a trial-by-combat and killed him during the fight.”

 

“Oh yeah, she did, didn't she,” said Naomi. Family heads usually went to the male heir the previous head chose but the position wasn't confirmed until the family seal was given over in a ceremony. Part of the ceremony was a short window where a call for challengers was issued. Usually there were no challenges and the ceremony concluded with the giving of the family seal to the new head. Noriko had busted every tradition when she made the challenge herself. Unless the family was a matriarchy women were not permitted to challenge for the head position. Her brother had answered only because he wished to punish her impudence. His death had shocked everyone. The other six brothers had challenged her on the spot but she defeated all of them. Seven battles all in a row and she still came out victorious. With that she earned the acceptance of her new peers when they would have scorned her before.

 

For the Inuyokai clan this was the first transfer of power. Sesshomaru had not even been acknowledged by any ceremony of ascension. Truth was, no one knew what would be appropriate. Head-of-family was joke; Sesshomaru was the only member of his family. Clan leader? If they performed the same ceremony it might mean chaos for the whole clan. How many demons would challenge for the position? How would the tenko react? The Inuyokai were accepted because of the Inu no Taisho's relationship with them. If someone lacking that relationship or history were to rise to power would they find themselves banished? Or would they just lose the position of equality they had enjoyed all these years and have to bow to the tenko lord's authority; an authority that changed on average every fifty years?

 

Not wanting trouble the clan had accepted Sesshomaru as clan leader. Still, Sesshomaru's attitude had never improved and people had begun to doubt his right to lead them. Some favored Noriko for clan leader. She had proven herself in combat and was stable in thought and predictable. The clan was now divided in two. Those who accepted Sesshomaru for the sake of the father and everything he represented and those who desired Noriko for her abilities and strength of spirit.

 

Naomi's attempts to soothe him had had the opposite effect. It had reminded of his political blunder. He should have taken some woman as his wife; one that came from one of the other powerful houses. Then Noriko's ambitions would have been kept in check. Many of her current supporters simply had no confidence in Sesshomaru. It never had to be with Noriko's Ginhane family. Any power alliance would have settled things. Now there was only two ways he could bring the two halves of the clan back together either it was to marry Noriko as she demanded or kill her and the heads that supported her. He couldn't give into Noriko, not after all the lives lost. The only acceptable way this was going to end was if he defeated her in combat, a goal that seemed to get further away with every clash between the factions. At that moment, it was just a distant speck on the horizon.

 

“Let me see that wound,” said Naomi, drawing Sesshomaru from his thoughts. He twisted away from her and the wound oozed. “Let me see it! You know you and I have to remain it top fighting condition at all times. We're the only ones who can keep Noriko and her kin from killing anymore of our people.”

 

“You and I? Heh he he…” Sesshomaru dissolved into a quivering mass of quiet laughter but it wasn't merry. It was despair.

 

“Father!” hissed Naomi. She had said the exact wrong thing again. She couldn't believe how hard he was taking it. She was the one who should have been withdrawn and laughing in despair, not him. She felt anger rising within her and swallowed hard to keep it from swamping her. For the first time she could understand the rage that had seized and held her father for so long. “Stop it! You can't stay like this!”

 

“Baka,” he whispered. Naomi stiffened but he continued, raising his other hand to his head, “Baka, baka, baka, baka…” He wasn't calling her stupid, he calling himself that, but he might as well have.

 

“You and I…” Not “Kenmaru, you and I…”

 

She should have just said “we”. Sesshomaru wanted to return to Tenji. The skirmishes were forcing them further and further south. They were now dangerously close to the panther demon tribe's territory. The panther demons still held a grudge against the Inuyokai clan; they wouldn't hesitate to tear them apart if they crossed into their territory. With so many children in his group, Sesshomaru wanted to avoid another clash.

 

Several days before, they had been moving north when they had run afoul of Noriko and her band. The battle had been ferocious. They entire group had been caught out in the open. The three guardians had positioned themselves around the women and children holding back the enemy while the men fought. Naomi had taken on Noriko that time and Kenmaru was facing off against one of his brothers. Sesshomaru and been facing down the second. But as a whole they had been outnumbered from the beginning.

 

Sesshomaru had been desperate. He wanted to get back to familiar territory. While in the beginning he had been prepared to handle the traitor Noriko and her cohorts himself, he now wanted help. With the number of fighters dwindling he felt he could no longer allow pride to rule his decisions. At the very least, he wanted to get the women and children into tenko hands. Then he could deal with Noriko without worries.

 

He had pushed harder rather than retreat, hoping to break through, to knock Noriko's group back on her heels and give them space to get passed. Blind to his surroundings he ended up being separated from the rest. When Sesshomaru realized he was alone, he stopped. His fight with the Ginhane male had taken him far from the battle without him realizing it. He couldn't even hear the others fight. The other dog demon took advantage of Sesshomaru's sudden distraction and hurled a spell spear at him. It struck Sesshomaru's abdomen and exploded with a burst of light. Sesshomaru screamed, wrapped his arms around his middle and fell over.

 

The dog lord gazed down at his belly and swallowed a howl. Armor, clothes, skin and muscle had been vaporized by the attack spell. Damaged intestines threatened to spill from the opening. His stomach oozed more than just blood. The lowest parts of his ribs were exposed. The liver peered out from one side. The exposed organs burned and he couldn't move. He could barely even breathe.

 

“I don't know what my sister is thinking wasting time with you. Celestial you may be but I don't think your seed is worth this fuss,” said the male as he approached. He raised a hand and blue light glowed at its tips. “If you just disappear then she'll never know.” Sesshomaru glared at him but was helpless to escape. The Tenseiga began to pulse when someone barreled into the enemy demon.

 

Kenmaru launched a series of strikes and slashes that pushed his brother back. The arm the male had been using to strike Sesshomaru lay on the ground useless. Kenmaru never gave his brother a chance to strike back. The two vanished into the trees leaving Sesshomaru alone. After what seemed like an eternity, Kenmaru reappeared, panting.

 

The young demon walked toward the fallen lord, sheathed his sword and reached toward Sesshomaru. “Lord Sesshomaru, let me-” he began then gasped. His blue eyes widened as did Sesshomaru's. Kenmaru's tan skin was becoming lighter. “Oh,” remarked Kenmaru then he was gone, vanished. Noriko stood several yards away, annoyance painted all over her face.

 

Sesshomaru stared at the place where the young demon had been. “Kenmaru,” he whispered. A wild scream split the air and Noriko was suddenly running as Naomi appeared her glaive stabbing. Her eyes glowed red. Noriko howled the retreat and fled. Naomi moved to give chase but Sesshomaru called to her. Noriko was like a viper, one who fled only to turn and strike when the opportunity presented itself, and he couldn't bear the thought of losing Naomi as well.

 

Naomi whirled at the second call and glared back then froze. Sesshomaru's blood pooled around the fallen lord like a shallow pond. Careful to keep her eyes on the trees, she trotted back to him. Despite having driven Noriko away, the group made no progress northward. There were too many casualties. Sesshomaru had required extensive care as much of his flesh had to be recreated and infection cleared out. They had found a shallow cave that kept the rain off but offered little else in room and comfort. Sesshomaru had not forgiven himself for his lapse in judgment.

 

Noriko's attack today was a bitter reminder that she had not suffered as much as they had. It also meant it was no longer safe where they were. The traitor demoness knew their location and would attack again once she got over the loss of yet another family member.

 

Well at least I evened the odds, Naomi thought. The brothers had thought they had had the advantage when they fought her two-on-one. However, they weren't practiced fighting as partners. They ended up getting in each other's way more often than not, giving her an opening. Noriko had called the retreat when she realized her brother was down.

 

“Please, Father, let me heal you,” she said while reaching out her hand. Sesshomaru glanced at her then surrendered to her ministrations. “I'm surprised. You never came across as being fond of him, yet you're more upset than I am. Maybe I'm just colder than I thought.”

 

Sesshomaru pressed his hand against her cheek and brought her head closer until his face was buried in her hair. “You're not cold. You're strong. Kenmaru was going to be my son. How can I not be upset? He was a good boy.” Naomi's control shattered at unexpected words but her anger faded away.

 

“Oh Father,” she cried and leaned into his chest. Her tears flowed freely down her cheeks.

 

Sesshomaru wrapped his arms around her and whispered, “I'm sorry. I'm so sorry.” Naomi rubbed her head against him and sobbed. Until that moment, she hadn't realized how badly she needed to cry. She had held it in; reacting in anger when the act had occurred then drowning her sorrows in purpose after that. She hadn't mourned Kenmaru yet. Her mother didn't cry. She didn't understand the need. She either became numb or outraged when sad. So she hadn't taken her daughter aside and talked to her about the loss. For all his ice, her father still understood the heart better than anyone else.

 

Naomi's tears slowed as a strange revelation came to her. Her father had suffered a loss greater than her and yet had never mourned. Never let his emotions go and purify his soul of the poison they carried. Her grandfather didn't understand the need to cry. The only parent that could have helped Sesshomaru deal with the death of his mother was his mother. With no one to turn to, he had had to swallow all his tears. His bitterness was the result.

 

Naomi had been aware of the political situation at the castle. She knew her father settling down would appease most of the court. She looked among many potential girls for someone who could handle being his wife. Noriko was never on that list. She would have the same issues Kaiyoshinju had with Sesshomaru. She was just too dominating.

 

Mother was never suited for him even if it could have lasted longer. She should have gone back to him that day. He needed her, not the other way around. I'm sure he felt a tremendous amount of guilt for hurting her once he calmed down. However, Mother had secluded herself believing herself wronged by Sesshomaru. She was waiting for him to come and apologize but the truth was he was waiting for her. Father must have felt abandoned. The woman he trusted and loved had left him alone to his pain and misery. Mother's too full of pride. She didn't understand at all. She still doesn't understand. No, their relationship would have ended badly no matter how they parted.

 

The woman that becomes Father's new wife must be gentle but firm. She must have strength to give him when he weakens, the strength to accept him being weak. She must always stand by him. Confident enough to reprimand him when he is being stupid and tender enough to heal him when he's been hurt. I guess it's time to play matchmaker again. At least it will give me something to do until I can accept Kenmaru's death.

_________________________________________________________________ ____________

 

First I want to say…

Thank you, weeck for leaving the review. I know it was only a couple of words but it's more than I've gotten since restarting this story and it really made my day. I was almost convinced that all those hits I was receiving were just teases, people popping in then popping out without reading my story. I love to hear from my readers. It's reassuring.

 

No one responded to by query about how I should proceed so you're getting whatever happens to fly into my mind. Someone of you probably wanted that anyway. So for better or for worse the “Exile” chapters will cover plot turns as well as random events that don't do anything for the story's advancement but allow me to play with my characters. Chapters with character introductions will pertain to the plot.

 

I'm still waiting to hear from Short Poet who has been with me from the beginning. I beginning to despair thinking my two year interlude has cost me my favorite reader and reviewer.

 

What I can't believe is that “Broken Dreams” didn't inspire any comments other than weeck's. How did you feel after reading it? What were your emotional responses? What about the reactions and choices of the characters? I love these types of discussions. Without them I feel like I'm writing to a mirror.