InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Fractured ❯ Chapter 5

Inuyasha never knew what would set it off. It could be anything from the sound of laughter from villagers to the scream of a demon he brought down. He could never fucking tell what would trigger a vision.

Memory.

Bout of insanity.

Whatever the fuck it was!

The other day it had been the sound of bells.

Fucking bells.

He closed his eyes in response, the clanking of the metal sounding so familiar.

`Of course it sounds familiar. Its fucking metal.' He told himself, feeling quite the fool.

But he couldn't figure out why the sound of the bells was accompanied by the image of a monk's staff, the rings jingling as the owner beat the path before him.

Images came to him in rapid flashes; a male figure leaning against a golden staff, him dodging it as it descended to hit him on the head… and the same golden rod used as a weapon in battle… Inuyasha shouting over his shoulder, the gleam of the staff catching his eye… talking to this man like an ally… all too fast to make sense of, and all to strange to be done by, what he presumed, was a holy man.

`Feh, holy man my ass.' The memory called out to him, the sound of his own voice causing such pain he began to tremble.

It really was a fucking nuisance.

There was no time for him to break down, and no safe place for him to go through- well whatever the hell this was!

What happens if he had a vision while fighting for his life? He would be weak and vulnerable.

Or worse- what if he fucking lost it and Kikyo was injured… or killed…

What then?

He didn't want to remember anymore.

He didn't want to know who the people were, what they were to him…

Who she was.

The woman that came to him in his dreams every night.

The woman whose gentle laughter floated to him in the dark, filling his mind with questions and his demon with a longing so intense it was physically painful.

He didn't want to know.

Had he cheated on Kikyo? What kind of woman was she, that she would focus her attentions on a taken man? Inuyasha knew he was a lot of things- a filthy hanyou, worthless, and undeserving, but he knew one thing for sure- he was loyal.

He wouldn't betray Kikyo.

She was the first person to look at him.

And she was the first person he had wanted.

Sure, he had wanted to be around villagers in the past, longed for the social gatherings, their easy laughter and support. But he got over it. They didn't want him… and he didn't need them.

But Kikyo-

She was different.

She had been the same, or so he thought. Just another human out to kill a filthy hanyou.

But she had held back her arrows, shooting to stop, not maim.

It was the first real act of kindness he had been shown since his mother.

Gods, when she actually tried to talk to him? He didn't even know how to respond.

He owed her too much. Without Kikyo, he would be totally alone. He had no chance of a future without the Miko. Sure, she could be cold and reserved. He still didn't know much about her if he was honest….

But she was a representation of hope. Of something brighter.

He wouldn't betray her. He couldn't.

You cant betray your mate. His demon raged at him.

His mate?

He reasoned that it had to be Kikyo, although his demon had never reacted to her in such a way. He was aware of his more primal instincts, but ever since that fucking blast, he had been feeling them more fiercely than before, as if it was trying to guide him back to his memories.

Whenever he thought about that woman, his demon responded.

Was he seduced by her?

Blackmailed?

Was she a demon temptress?

Even as he said that, he knew it was wrong.

She always sounded to kind… so genuine.

Yet still, how could he betray the miko?

And if that was the case…

It was no wonder that she was so cold to him. He pretended not to see, but the miko was always watching him from the corner of her eyes, as if waiting for something.

There was no way she couldn't have known.

It became very clear.

Kikyo didn't trust him.

It was too much. The guilt and unease of not knowing was eating him alive.

And yet he wanted to remain ignorant as long as fucking possible.

~.~

“So how far will we travel?” Kyou asked the group.

“However long it takes.” Sango answered simply.

The group had been on edge since the arrival of the headman's son. He looked capable, enough. As much as a person could be who had no experience going up against Naraku.

But Kagome had been right; he needed the opportunity to avenge his family, his home.

She was good for that, brining in the lost souls and weaving them together to create a cohesive group.

“It really depends on the demon, what its doing and how fast it can travel.” Kagome supplied, trying to fill the gap.

“Ah. I see.” He said, chewing over his thoughts. “I don't want you to misunderstand… its not that Im in a hurry. This is my duty, no matter the length of time.”

“We understand.” Miroku offered.

“Its just- well, this is not the average band of people.” He tried to smile. “I am just trying to get a feel for what you do, if it may take a while.”

“Don't get so ahead of yourself.” Shippo said arrogantly. It was as if he felt the need to take up the hanyous role. That was exactly the type of harsh comment he would have said if-

If he hadnt left.

If he hadnt chosen Kikyo.

Kagome couldn't help but let her mind go back to that day. She couldn't help but wonder what would be different if Inuyasha was there.

She looked down at the fox kit and shook her head.

“Don't be like that Shippo. Hes right. Im sure we do come off as a bit odd.”

“Hes the odd one, wanting to go with strangers.” He turned his head.

`He must miss Inuyasha. Even though the fought, they did love eachother. The loss of Inuyasha must be harder on Shippo than hes letting on. Thank Gods I stayed… with his family gone… were all he has left…'

Kagome stopped to pick the fox up off the ground.

“Hey-!” He complained at the suddent movement.

She brought him close to her chest, hugging him tightly.

“Don't be so cold hearted Shippo. He has suffered too.”

She heard him sniffle before he nodded his head.

“Sorry.” She apologized on his behalf.

“Its no problem. Im quite familiar with the harsh tongue of children.” He laughed.

“Do you have kids?” Sango asked, curiosity peaking.

“Me? Gods no!” He couldn't hide his surprise. “I am still unmarried. But I am the oldest of 8.”

The others nodded as Kagome tried to imagine 7 more versions of Souta.

“Do you all come from the same village?” Kyou asked.

“No, we met while taking different paths on this journey. It was Kagome here, who brought us together.”

The woman blushed in response.

“That sounds like an interesting tale.” He commented.

“It's a long one.” She said, trying to wave it off.

“Well,” Kyou said with a kind smile, “I have some time.”

~.~

The day was mild, the wind was warm and the sun was shining. It was a day that made Inuyasha want to just sit in the branches of a tree and enjoy it.

Kikyo had no such plans.

She wanted to march forward, covering as much ground as possible.

He felt strangely torn; on the one hand, he knew he wanted to find those shards- knew he had to find them. But for some reason…

For some reason he had this nagging sensation in the back of his mind that he needed to stop. That he needed to take in the scenery and breathe in the scent of the country.

“Theres nothing like this back home!” A womans excited voice floated through him.

He felt compelled to sit for a moment, choosing a nice, grassy hill to compose himself.

Looking around, it was as if his world was overlapping.

He was sitting on a hill, overlooking a small village. He was angry. He could feel it rolling off of him in waves; his body wanted to fight- to rip something apart.

His mind knew he couldn't leave.

Couldn't leave her…

She came into his sight, as if on cue. A mass of colors, swirled together into a crude form. She was barely distinguishable as a human… and yet..

Yet he knew it was her.

Whoever she was.

She sank to the ground, turning to face him.

“…Thank you, Inuyasha.” Her voice was soft… earnest…

“Forget it.” He said, trying to brush off her compliment.

“I mean it… you… you didn't have to do that…”

“Feh. Whats the big deal?” He said, his tone colder than he meant. “That asshole had it coming.”

She nodded silently at first.

“But still… You stuck up for me…”

Feh. Stuck up for her.

He wanted to fucking gut the bastard for saying a word against her! He called her a witch with her strange things and manners. Called her a tramp for her clothing.

Inuyasha gripped the handle of his sword.

“Inuyasha, don't…” She called out to him, fear in her voice.

He released the sword at his side, clenching his hands into tight fists.

And he fucking knocked the asshole to the ground with one punch.

Feh, he even threw it.

He stalked off, trying to control his rage, leaving the woman in his wake.

And she had found him, as he knew she would.

He tried to focus on her, tried to see clearly who she was, this woman who he had both lost his cool for and controlled his temper.

He could see her blush crawling down to her neck as she bit her lower lip. The woman leaned up and placed a quick kiss on his cheek, her hand caressing his other.

He could feel the heat she left behind; it seared his skin in the most pleasant way. His heart was beating furiously. He felt nervous and anxious and-

And unsatisfied.

It wasn't enough.

He caught her before she could pull away, placing his large palm over her hand.

He leaned in, brushing his nose against hers.

He could hear the sharp inhale, he could her the racing of her pulse.

Her lips were so plump and pink. She parted them subconsciously.

“Not there.” He breathed out huskily.

For a moment, it felt as if time stopped as they both closed the gap, timid and hungry to taste one another.

Inuyasha pulled the woman to him, wanting to get her as close as physically possible.

He wanted to kiss her, devour her whole; he wanted to hug her, crush her against his chest. He couldn't make up his mind what to do next.

Her body was a rough outline, a sketch of a human being. Her face was blurred, only certain parts coming into focus when he centered his concentration on a particular point.

His demon was elated, almost purring. `Its been too long' it sang to him. And in that moment, he agreed.

He rumbled deep from his chest, and he heard her deeply exhale.

Her eyes fluttered open, and for a moment, it was clear.

It was as if he had been stabbed, the pain so quick and abrupt.

Her blue, stormy eyes.

Panting, she called out his name.

“Inuyasha…”

“FUCK!” The hanyou dug his claws into his scalp as he clenched his eyes shut.

He let out a series of ragged breaths, desperately trying to get enough air into his lungs.

It hurt.

It hurt so fucking bad.

Nothing made sense. He both knew this story and it was fresh, as if he was living it for the first time.

Until now, he wanted these visions to stop.

He wasn't sure if they were memories or bits from a past life, or crap he made up in his damn head. But it was confusing, and painful.

And worse, it was getting in the way of Kikyo.

He should be feeling blessed to have this time with her, fuck, this was all he had ever dared to hope for! Instead, because of these fucking visions, he was left with a feeling of unease and distrust.

Damn it!

He stood up, trying to steady himself.

He had wanted the visions to stop.

Had.

He could still hear her sweet voice echoing through his mind.

Inuyasha, Inuyasha, Inuyasha…

She kept calling to him, calling his name.

But he had been the one to kiss her.

He had been the one who wanted it.

Temptress.

Feh, maybe. He wouldn't know, since she was just a blur.

But not in the way he had thought; she didn't come on to him, use or manipulate him.

HE was the one who stuck his nose into her business and had to defend her! Why the hell would he care about the problems of pathetic humans?

`He insulted our mate' His demon growled.

And he had been waiting for her. He wouldn't leave without her.

`I don't want to be far from her.' A memory echoed in response.

She had come to him, as nothing more than grateful.

She just fucking thanked him.

Sure, whoever it was… kissed him on the cheek-

`It wasn't enough-`

But he had seen humans do this from time to time-

`I'll fucking kill anyone that she-`

And he took it further and asked for more.

No, he fucking demanded it.

He felt sick with guilt.

He had wanted to forget.

Impossible.

He knew now he couldn't.

It was as if she was ingrained in him, as if he couldn't separate himself from this stranger.

And her eyes…

He knew he had seen them before- Knew that he had been looked at that before…

By her.

Those eyes-

How could he let go of those eyes now?