InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Free of Pain, Lost from Love ❯ chapter nine ( Chapter 9 )

Free of Pain, Lost from Love

Chapter nine

By: opalshyne

 

A/N: Gar, I rule, I have nine chappies up.

Reviews, I need them. XD

 

Disclaimer: so, I went to this, hospital type thing, right? Well, while I was there I was electrocuted…a lot! Well, now I'm like uber happy, and after all that electro shock therapy, and then that lobotomy, I now know one thing for sure…I DO NOT OWN INUYASHA…!

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Kagome sat on her bed, breathing deeply, and replaying the scene from just a few moments ago over and over again in her head, each time causing her breath to become more shallow, more labored. She was losing her mind, or at least, that's what it felt like, it felt like she had lost all sight of what was real and true, she felt somewhat like a traitor, but at the same time, a faint fire burned inside her, one that, for the moment, kept the crippling pain away.

She hear Sesshoumaru stop at the door to her room and she didn't turn around to look at him, as he silently stared at her.

"Sesshoumaru?" her voice sounded weak and shaky.

"Yes?"

"Why did you do that?""

"…"

"Sesshoumaru?"

He was silent, but she knew he was still there, she knew that he was going to answer her.

"I do not know," with that, he turned and walked into his room, leaving her alone to wonder what she had gotten herself into.

Kagome woke up the next morning, tired, like she had run for miles and miles until she couldn't move, and then she had lain in the grass and not slept a wink. Kagome stared at her ceiling and cried a little, realizing, that her hurt didn't hurt so bad as she stood and walked into the kitchen. She saw Sesshoumaru at the table, reading the paper, like he always was. She was happy, maybe.

He looked up at her, and suddenly she was frozen in her place, "Sesshoumaru, I,"

He held up a hand to silence her and her mouth clicked shut, "I want to apologize, for last night."

"No!...You, you don't have to apologize, I, didn't mind."

His eyes widened only a fraction before he collected himself, "Hn."

Kagome sat down and folded her hands in her lap, looking down at them almost shyly, "Sesshoumaru?"

He looked up from his paper once more, "Yes?"

"I want to know," she breathed deeply and fought the memories ready to drown her," how it is you feel about me."

The room was silent for a long time, the kind of silence that is so empty, you can hear it. Pressing into your brain, almost hurting your ears. It was the kind of silence Kagome hated most, because in that silence she could hear their voices.

Laughing and crying and screaming, she even heard Inuyasha talking to her once, he asked her how she was, and she cried, he asked her where she was, and she cried, he told her he loved her, and she cried. Now she could hear Sesshoumaru's voice in the silence, "I think, I may, love…you."

Kagome looked up at him, she knew she was crying, but she didn't know why, she smiled at him, with the saddest eyes, "I love you, Sesshoumaru."

Because, she didn't know if she really loved him, he made her hurt go away, and he made her feel not so empty, but she did not know if she loved him. It could have been love, it might have been love, so she would call it love. She stood up and walked the two steps to him, she put her arms around him and cried into his shirt for a long time, he held her while she cried, deciding, that if he loved her, he would fix her, and he would always hold her while she cried, even if she did not really love him.

He held her close to him, and felt her young heart beating, not whole, but close, he believed. He felt her shaking and held her tighter, because, he did not want her to fall apart ever again. When she had stopped crying he kissed her and told her again that he loved her, and again, she smiled with those sad eyes and said she loved him.

He picked her up, carried her like a child, cradled against his chest. She smiled, feeling warm inside, feeling happy, maybe.

He carried her into his room and laid her gently on the bed, he laid beside her and kissed her gently and sweetly until she fell asleep, and then he continued to lay beside her, because he loved her and would always be there for her.

She curled against him, her hand on his chest and his hand on hers, that was how she awoke.

"Sesshoumaru."

He looked down at her, her mouth was smiling, but her eyes were still sad, "Kagome."

She laid her head on his chest and listened to his heart beat, slow and strong, she would love listening to his heart every day, it made her feel peaceful and strong.

"Sesshoumaru."

He looked down at her again, "Kagome."

She smiled, and this time, her eyes looked almost happy, "I love it when you say my name, it sounds so much prettier than it really is."

"Kagome."

"Sesshoumaru."

They were silent together, and this time, the silence wasn't painful, and she heard no voices from the past, only his, telling her he loved her.

"Do you love me Sesshoumaru?

"Yes."

"I love you."

He wrapped his arm tighter around her and lifted her closer to him so that he could give her soft kisses and sweet words. She kissed him back and held him oh so tight, afraid that if she let go, she would fly away and not feel so happy anymore. Soon he let her go though, getting up out of bed and holding his hand out to her, she took it, grateful to have someone again.

He led her to the kitchen where the afternoon light made everything copper colored. Sesshoumaru sat down and pulled her into his lap and asked her if she was hungry.

"Not right now." He knew she was lying, but he kept his mouth shut and only kissed her instead.

She loved it when he kissed her, she loved how he kissed her and she loved the way his kisses felt. When they kissed, she almost felt, whole. She wanted to kiss him forever. He pulled away and looked down at the girl he now loved so deeply.

"Kagome."

"Sesshoumaru."

 

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A/N: okay, feeling a little iffy about this chapter, review and tell me how it is.