InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Frozen ❯ How Can life be what you want it to be ( Chapter 2 )

Title: Frozen
Author: DeityOfDeath
Archive: Yes please...
Pairings: Inu Yasha/ various, Inu Yasha/Sesshomaru mentions of Inu Yasha/Kagome and Inu Yasha/ Kikyo
Category: Drama, romance, slash, Mpreg, yaoi
rating: NC-17/R
Spoilers: Most likely.
Warnings: Yaoi, Lemon, Non-con, Mpreg, Incest, SPOILERS!
Disclaimers: I never have nor will I ever own Inu Yasha or its chars. They are property of Rumiko Takashi and major companies.

Note from Author: Thank You for reading and supporting fan fiction! Enjoy and please review!

The chapter titles are lyrics from the song "Frozen” by Madonna


Chapter 2: How can life be what you want it to be

It took a month for me to fully recover from my “attack” and as I did so I tried to avoid villages altogether but the problem with avoiding villages and humans themselves is that it leaves me with very few options in travel and sleeping. The woods and forests were filled with other youkai who would attack if they even thought they could overtake me. Each day was a battle and on most days I won. The ones where I lost I won in another way…each battle gave me knowledge and strength. I gained more and more until only the larger, eviler and more powerful actually posed a threat.

As I traveled I became better at catching fish in the streams and lakes I happened upon and most small game was a cinch. The larger game such as deer took a bit more skill and better timing. I had only managed to bring one down once or twice and both times the deer had been injured by man or were elderly making them easy targets. My goal was to gain enough strength to bring down a warthog and perhaps a bear.

A month turned into two and I chose to stay and travel along a small stream since as of late my thirst was almost unquenchable and with thirst I also seemed extremely fatigued and some of the safest and best hideaways could be found around water, it also covered my scent should I have need of a quick escape. I had learned to swim at my mother's behest and I was glad of it now.

As time came and went and my knowledge of survival grew so oddly enough did my body. I had gained spindly long legs which grew in time with my arms. I felt awkward in my body during this change but I also felt bewildered at my growing midsection the most. I wasn't starving but I definitely wasn't gorging myself so why had I developed a noticeable bump. It wasn't flabby nor was it extremely hard. I shrugged it off as a side effect of my developing body until it grew to affect my balance and that was when I decided to look for some answers and the only place I could think to find them was in a human village.

In most aspects I was more human than demon so perhaps this was a human illness that could be fixed with medication or if I was lucky it would be something I would simply grow out of.

On my human night my change happened and my claws vanished along with my puppy ears leaving ebony locks in place of my former pale locks, brown eyes in place of gold and human ears where they belonged instead of my more useful ones.

The bump remained.

I drew my firerat robe around my body and made my way into the human village. I was unsure as to whether I should approach the healer and beg their opinion, pretending to be a runaway or a parentless waif thanks to feuding lords.

As I wandered through nighttime crowds; mostly drunkards and “women of the night” as my mother had called them, I came upon the sound of screams and moans of pain. I followed it coming upon the doorway to a humble abode. Not wanting to be seen I made my way to the side window and climbed atop a tree stump that happened to be beside the window and peered in.

A scarcely clad woman with a bulging stomach knelt over thick blankets, her face red and sweat covered as she gasped for breath before screaming and moaning in pain once again.

“Come Hiyori, you are close. I can see the babes head,” called a middle-aged woman with her hair tied tightly in a bun. She sat on a short stool in-between the woman's spread legs. I watched as she pushed and time dragged on. No one had caught me watching and watch I did.

I watched as the woman finally produced the head and then the body of a wailing newborn, causing her once bloated belly to deflate. Not nearly flat enough for her to be skinny but no longer as oddly noticeable before she had birthed the shrilly crying infant. The woman with the bun handed her the child and she held it tightly against her body grinning widely.

I was so entranced by the woman and her new infant as it now nursed at her chest that I hadn't realized the woman with the bun was no longer present until a hand landed on my shoulder causing me to gasp and almost fall. The woman stopped my fall and turned me to face her.

“It is not kind to invade such a private moment little one,” she scolded.

I felt my cheeks heat and knew I was blushing as I struggled to find words, “I didn't mean to. I…I just wanted to know…”

“Know what little one,” she asked with an arched brow.

It hadn't been intentional on my part but automatic as I placed my hands on my midsection revealing a slight rounding. It was her gasp that made me realize my error. I felt fear and made to run past her but for a lady of her age she was quick and before I could take two steps she had me in her arms and she once again turned me to face her.

“How is it one so young is in this position,” she asked sadly.

“Am I”, I asked uncertainly, “Is there one of those inside here”, I asked as my arms came to wrap protectively around my middle again.

“We can find out,” she stated.

I nodded and she stood letting go of one of my hands and leading me into the new mothers' home.

“I will return in a moment Hiyori”, she grinned at a man who now sat beside the lady and new born, “Congratulations on your son Ichiro.”

With that she grabbed a lantern with her free hand and led me to the nearby tool shed. She opened the door and pulled me in before shutting the door behind us. She sat the lantern down and knelt in front of me.

“I'm going to gently squeeze and prod your stomach,” she warned and I nodded acknowledging her.

Her hands were large and warm as they carefully prodded and poked at my belly.

“So little one, when was the deed done,” she asked softly.

“The deed,” I asked back at her.

Her eyes looked surprised and she closed them momentarily as she rephrased her question, “How long has it been since…the man entered you?”

“There were three…” I admitted softly at the memory I fought to forget returned once more, “About…four new moons ago.”

She nodded and removed her hands, “You should be due sometime in the winter.”

She stood and I fidgeted and then dug into my pockets pulling out some berries and nuts I had gathered earlier in the day and held them out to her.

“What's this now,” she asked bewildered.

“I have no money and I can't stay in the village, otherwise I'd do chores for you but I have these.”

She knelt again and rolled my hands up so I wouldn't drop their contents, “I need no payment little one. Why can't you stay?”

I went to the door and opened it staring out at the night sky which was beginning to lighten. I smiled at her and then took off running. I could hear her shout for me to wait but I couldn't stop or let her catch up for fear of what she would do if she found out I was a hanyou and not the small girl she thought me to be.

I made it to the edge of the fields and then woods as light broke across the sky and with it I felt the growth of my ears, fangs and claws. I didn't bother looking back; I didn't want to see if she were still there because I didn't want to remember her with a look of hate or disgust upon her kind face.

After that day I decided to avoid humans. I was carrying and the odds were that I would deliver a child like me; a child hated by humans and demons; a child between worlds.

I traveled until I came to a cavern on the side of a high hillside and it was there that I decided I would birth my pup. I cleaned it out, removing animal waste and other debris, making sure no harmful creatures resided in it and then I began the arduous task of collecting leaves, moss and sticks. I stored the sticks in the back of the cave so I would have firewood as it got colder and laid the leaves on the soft dirt of the cave floor and placed the soft moss atop it.

As I came across human camps I stole dried rations, pots and kettles and the occasional blanket or other cloth that happened to be left out.

My cave became home and as the heat of summer became the chill of Fall I felt movement for the first time. The being inside went from an occasional movement to a constant reminder as the sixth new moon came and went. I had decided that I would hunt small game in the hopes of gathering the fur pelts to help keep the pup warm when it was born.

It was after my seventh new moon when I had made the mistake of stumbling across another demons prey.

I was cold and my feet and back were aching, my kicking pup reminding me of its discomfort as well when I saw the deer with its broken leg. I crouched and jumped aiming for its neck with my claws free and ready to tear into its thin blood filled neck when a tall bulky demon came out of no where pouncing on the deer easily snapping its neck one handed. I saw this and landed short of the kill. I was slow in reacting and as soon as the large bear demon saw me he grinned and came barreling at me. I struggled to run but something collided with my back sending me to the ground. I struggled to stand but it was impossible as hits and kicks rained down upon me.

“Dirty hanyou! How dare you! Who gave you permission to hunt in my territory!?”

I yelled out in pain and struggled to protect my belly in the hopes of protecting my unborn pup. It seemed as if the beating would never stop. I lay there bloody and broken praying it would end.

As suddenly as it had started it ended.

“Remember that hanyou. This is my territory, should you decide you want to try hunting in my area again remember this lesson.”

With that he wandered off and left me laying there. My body began healing itself as I lay there but something didn't feel right. Something was wrong, something that couldn't be healed.

I shakily stood up and began making my way back to my cave. It took longer than it should have to get there and on the way I began having horrible pains that traveled from my midsection and along my spine.

I crawled into my cave, laying on my bed of moss, furs and cloth and struggled through horrible pains. I felt wetness seep through my hakama and knew then that it was serious. I struggled out of my bottoms as the pain worsened and soon found sounds similar to that of the birthing human woman's escaping from my own mouth. The light of day vanished and I lay there in the dark of my cave gasping and writhing until I felt something pressing against an entrance I had not possessed before.

I struggled and pushed as searing burning pain came from that entrance and a pressure that made everything below the waist hurt. I struggled and pushed until the pressure lessened momentarily with a gush of liquid. I felt a new pressure begin which I struggled through and as the light glistened anew into the cave opening I felt something slide quietly from my body. I lay there gasping realizing that I had birthed my pup.

I struggled into a sitting position sobbing as I did so and looked down at the small blood and mucous covered body of a male pup born too early. He barely had any hair but what he had was black and his ears were so small and pointed. I gently picked him up and gently massaged his chest in the hopes of provoking cries or movement but there was none. My instincts kicked in and I gently squeezed its nose and opened its mouth gently removing mucous and liquid as I shook it softly and massaged his tiny body. No sound and no movement…

I had lost my pup.

I hadn't enjoyed the act in which he was gotten but I had enjoyed carrying him once I had learned of him. I had failed him. I had grown stronger but it wasn't enough. I was still not strong enough, I needed to grow stronger.

I pulled him against my chest and sobbed as I rocked back and forth crying my frustration and sadness. When my sobs subsided into sniffles and an occasional snuffle I looked down to realize I had birthed something grotesque and bloody. I used my claws to separate his cord from the mess and then I stood shakily, holding his body against mine one handed.

I struggled to the back of the cave where I picked up a small piece of animal fur and proceeded to wrap him in it. I grabbed another pieced and placed it between my thighs to staunch the bleeding which had slowed but still continued to drip down my thighs and legs.

It was as if I were working through my sadness.

I placed my son on the birthing nest and proceeded to clean myself off before redressing. It was once again night; a full day had passed since I had birthed.

I cleaned the cave, disposed of the bloody bedding and the cord sack and then I went outside and found nice spot beside a maple sapling not far from the cave. I began digging and as night became day I went and retrieved my son and placed him into the deep hole, covering him completely with the furs before I began the task of pulling dirt over his grave, silent tears falling into the dirt as I did so. When the grave was covered with dirt I then gathered stones and covered his grave with them letting any who wandered by know that this was a grave.

I sat there at his grave for two days and two nights more before I entered the cave one last time. I devoured my rations and took many more and stashed them into my hakama pockets and sleeves before leaving.

I stopped at the grave with a silent promise of becoming as strong as a demon, also swearing to beat and destroy the demon that had caused the loss of his life.

To Be Continued…

Must keep writing…..

Kat