InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Frozen ❯ You waste your time with hate and regret ( Chapter 6 )

Title: Frozen
Author: DeityOfDeath
Archive: Yes please...
Pairings: Inu Yasha/ various, Inu Yasha/Sesshomaru, Inu Yasha/Kouga mentions of Inu Yasha/Kagome and Inu Yasha/ Kikyo
Category: Drama, romance, slash, Mpreg, yaoi
rating: NC-17/R
Spoilers: Most likely.
Warnings: Yaoi, Lemon, Non-con, Mpreg, Incest, SPOILERS!
Disclaimers: I never have nor will I ever own Inu Yasha or its chars. They are property of Rumiko Takashi and major companies.

Note from Author: Thank You for reading and supporting fan fiction! Enjoy and please review!

The chapter titles are lyrics from the song "Frozen” by Madonna


Chapter 6: You waste your time with hate and regret

Looking back was a terrible idea. I knew it and yet I couldn't help myself. I perched high in a tree whose leaves were tinged orange and brown and fought to hide myself as I watched Kyoshiro overseeing repairs to the old temple we had made love in so many times.

It had been two months and I hadn't returned to our meeting place during the new moon but I could always smell his scent which was renewed by each and every one of his visits and I felt horrible for leaving and not explaining myself to him. He had a right to know that the life that was now five new moons old was one he had fathered.

I wasn't an idiot and old fairytales my mother had told me as a child often had sad endings when a being revealed themselves to their human counterparts, sad tales of death where one or the other would die if not both.

I couldn't handle his rejection. It would tear my heart into thousands of pieces. I had many dreams of how he would react to my news and none were the happy ending that I so wanted.

Just seeing him had caused my chest to ache and the child within seemed to sense its sire or perhaps my emotions at seeing him and moved endlessly whenever we were in his presence, even from my current distance.

Our temple was gorgeous as it was made new with lumber, care and cleaning. I watched as he blessed it and I was surprised to see that it was not with the usual blessings. I felt no ill will in his blessing like I did at some of the other temples when they were freshly blessed. It was as if he were leaving an open invitation. I couldn't allow myself the hope; too often my hopes and dreams were crushed.

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As the weather went from the cool breezes of spring to the beginnings of a hot stifling Summer I grew larger and my seventh month came upon me.

I was extra careful to avoid humans and youkai alike and due to my depression I was late in locating a proper den. Something had led me to one of Kyoshiro's old temples and it was there I had discovered a secret passage beneath the temple itself. I had decided it was as good a place as any and thus I began to once again gather the things needed for a proper den when the birth of a pup was nearing. The temple was seemingly abandoned and thus it provided me with shelter and many of the supplies I needed.

I had made a bed of old tatami mats, curtains and cloths and the temple was more than covered in soft moss. I had managed to discover storage areas which contained candles and oils for light and thanks to reverent townspeople who still brought offerings I had a varied diet of fresh fruits, vegetables, pickles, the occasional bottle of sake' and meat buns.

At night when I sensed no human or youkai presence I went hunting, bringing back meat to be eaten and the rest dried and pelts to lie on and wrap my pup in once it was born.

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I was overly heated and exhausted as my eighth month came. I wanted nothing more than to sleep and eat. I managed to find some respite from the heat of the day in a nearby stream that was fed from the nearby mountain making it almost cold. I seemed to distress the nearby wildlife who had also come to the stream for that very reason. I let them be, I was in no shape to hunt anyway and that caused their discomfort level to drop some.

As I neared the end of my eight months I felt the occasional ache in my belly and with it an occasional tightness but nothing close to what I had felt when I had lost my first pup. I took it as a good sign and lessened my trips out, keeping myself in the area of the temple. My feet were swollen and my chest tender enough that even wearing my hakama had become uncomfortable.

As the first week of my ninth month began so did what I suspected to be the beginning actual pains of the incurring birth. The new opening had once again developed and not a day afterward had I discovered a blood tinted stain on my fundoshi. I stayed in my hidden den and waited for things to progress and did they ever...

I continued to have pains and they increased in volume as well as timing. I went from almost ignoring them to pacing in my den which was just a hair higher than me. I found myself stopping and rocking into the pains as their intensity grew and when they ended and when I could catch my breath I walked on hoping to speed the whole ordeal. The pains soon overwhelmed me and I took to leaning against pillars and the walls when they were near enough.

The pressure built and I could feel as my pup descended into place putting added pressure on my new opening which seemed to almost stretch in an attempt to give with the pressure.

There was no one around so I soon divested myself of my clothing and found myself pacing back and forth in my den as nude as the day I had been born. The thought amused me momentarily and then the next pain came.

I gave up on pacing as the pressure grew and with it a sudden gush of fluids poured down my thighs and legs and the pressure tripled. I leaned against the wall on my soft bed of furs, moss and tatami mats and with my free hand explored the spot of intense pain and pressure and felt a rounding surface forcing its way out of my stretched opening. It was damp and soft fuzz covered it.

The head! I was close. I slowly slid into a kneeling position and rocked into the pain as it came causing my belly to tighten, pushing as I did so. I felt the head shift forward and kept my free hand there to judge my progress as I struggled to push. The pain built and I struggled through the pain wailing and grunting through the stinging pain and horrible contractions that threatened to crush me.

I had a moment to catch my breath before it doubled and the pain intensified and I pushed feeling that pressure abate for a moment as the head slid out into my palm. I could feel the full round shape of a head and the soft gooey hair that covered its head. I wanted to sob but the sharp pain made that sob into a loud outcry as I struggle through the onslaught of continuing pain and an even stronger pain as the shoulders began to work their way through and I bore down with everything I had left in me.

I was almost numb with pain below the waist and then it happened the pressure lessened and I found myself single-handedly trying to hold the slippery body of my pup as I struggled to support myself on my knees alone so that I could use my other hand as well. Once I had a good hold of my pup I brought it upwards to above my belly.

I stared down at its back and rubbed it causing gargled intakes of breath that then became coughing cries and wails. As soon as its cries sounded less garbled I turned it carefully in my hands and discovered that I had bore yet another son. He was slowly pinkening up which could almost be seen through the goo that covered his body. I reached for cloth I had set beside my bed and began to wipe gently at his body while he wailed angrily at my actions. I wiped him as gently as I could and watched his small limbs shake and whip to and fro in anger. The little one certainly had my attitude. At least he had his fathers ebony locks.

I felt pressure build and I pushed feeling the massive mess leave my body with the help of my kneeling position and my still contracting muscles. I had no idea what it was called and I could only assume it had some purpose in being inside of me but I could only hazard a guess as to what.

The cramping continued and the renewed wetness on my thighs told me that I was bleeding just like I had with my first birthing. I reached down and brought the cord attached to my son close to my mouth and bit down separating him from the mess, making it easier to move with him in my arms.

I stood shakily and made my way to a pile of furs and pelts and found the softest on top, wrapping my son in it and then gently laying him on our bed in a clean and clear spot while I removed the soiled top layer and the grotesque pile of flesh that I had expelled. For now I moved it into a corner and bundled it until the odor was barely noticeable and then I found extra leather and a clean fundoshi and made quick work of it making the leather an absorbent pad and using my fundoshi to tie it into place. I threw on the first layer of my hakama and lightly tied it in place.

My son had fallen asleep in a nest of fur so I carefully and somewhat painfully lay next to him, pulling him in against me so that I could feel his warmth and listen to his soft breathing. I let it lull me to sleep.

I awoke to my sons wails and found my chest overly sensitive and swollen. I knew why and I carefully sat up into a lounging position. I lifted my mewling son as gently as I could until he lay snuggled against my now dripping nipple. He needed no guidance as he turned his head into my chest making smacking noises with his lips until he connected with the source of my discomfort and began to suckle hardily.

It was an unnerving feeling first and even slightly painful but the pain abated as my chest was all but drained. I had watched nursemaids in the court care for infants and knew that he had to burp and I brought him to my shoulder and began to gently pat his back, occasionally rubbing until I heard one tiny burp which was followed by another. He seemed fussy still so I brought him to the other nipple and allowed him to eat his fill and then I burped him until he fell asleep. While he was napping I ate from my supplies and then I too took a nap until he woke me with his mewling cries. I smelled the odor of soiled blankets and so I changed him, taking care to clean in-between crevices with a warm wet rag and re-bundled him in a clean fur.

And that became my life…my world. I repeated the procedure over and over again and I would until he no longer needed me to.

I healed and he ate, slept and grew.

To Be Continued….

Thanks for your patience~! Sorry it's been a while. I moved and have already gone through two roommates and it hasn't even been a year yet! I worked Otakon once again (20th anniversary!), that makes 7 years staffing and 7 years before I attended so 14 altogether. I had a little time off after Otakon so I managed to work on a few fics. Some need complete overhauls but I decided it would be best to update what I could. I'll try my best to update soon.

Kat