InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Full Moon's Rising ❯ arararar ( Chapter 2 )

Holy shit guys, there's another chapter! Can you believe it? I'm about to punch mediaminer in its face! I can't believe the jumps I have to make in order to even get this thing uploaded! >.<;

 

The style is going to be different from my former style as I have developed in my writing style a lot more. After all, I wrote chapter one about a year before I wrote chapter two…

 

Oh and no rape in this chapter though the next…? Hee hee, you'll have to find out for yourself I will try to write more but I find that living life takes precedence. After all, I have to work and make money I don't get paid to write sadly.

 

Full Moon's Rising

 

**Chapter 2**

**Aftermath**

 

 

Inuyasha slowly began to wake up. He was bracing his heart for pain, planning on facing what he'd done the night before with sorrow in his heart. Instead his body felt sated, his heart light, and honestly he was inordinately pleased with himself. There was a bit of guilt lurking in the corner of his heart but it was small.

Kagome was still lying asleep next to him. Now how to go about the day? It wasn't going to be pleasant at first, he knew. She wasn't willing to be his mate, though he was certain he could fix that given some time. Strange thing was, why hadn't he done this earlier? Now that the deed had been done he began to wonder what had made him hold back all that time? His commitment to Kikyou probably had something to do with it, and yet he couldn't feel that such a commitment would have anything to do with him and Kagome here and now.

He would join Kikyou in hell one day, sometime in the future when the fates decided his life would end of their own accord. However that didn't mean he had to jump head-first off a cliff right then to do so. Yes he had said that he would join her once Naraku had been dealt with, but honestly he didn't plan on fulfilling that part of the bargain.

Then he realized he'd have a lot of things to deal with if and when he decided to join the others. It was really his fault. Had he ascertained his dominance over the group right from the start then they wouldn't even think to question his judgment. True that listening to them had in the past stopped him from rushing off to die, but he was the leader of the group! They should follow his lead and help him decide; as it stood it was like the group barely had any leader at all.

Pulling Kagome into his lap, while being careful to not awaken her with any abrupt movement he decided that he would wait to return to camp with the others. Until Kagome accepted him her cries would cause him issues. Sango certainly wouldn't take things lightly, would probably try to kill him actually. Miroku likely wouldn't try to kill him but there would certainly be trouble from the perverted monk over this.

Not that it should even concern the two of them. Kagome was his now, any youkai with a nose could tell that much. Hell! Even without a nose, the dark marks on Kagome's neck proclaimed her to be his mate.

Looking at her sleeping face he felt something tug at his heart. She was really fragile and he had used her rather hard the night before, and what's more he would do probably the exact same thing tonight, and the night after at least.

God how he wanted her! Constantly he had thought about different ways to touch her, take her, and most importantly claim her. Those lustful thoughts had always been pushed to the side though. Somehow he'd always known that she wouldn't willingly come to him, there were too many unresolved issues between them and there would be more and more as they traveled together.

As if he couldn't help himself he started to rub her arms and thighs with the hand that wasn't supporting her. If he and she both lived a thousand years he would probably never tire of touching her. Sweet and innocent no matter what horrors she saw there was a strange purity to her that would not be dimmed. Part of him, his youkai half, was terrified of such purity, for it could kill him. However the same part that was terrified was also drawn. It was the same conflict most youkai felt around her he was sure, why else did they seem to gravitate towards her?

Slowly as he watched her sleeping his body began to grow harder and harder. This wouldn't do, if he didn't calm down and quickly his youkai half would take over his mind and there would be no rest for Kagome. She would doubtlessly be sore he didn't need to hurt her any more than was necessary until he had no choice.

Well, the only way he knew to distract himself and still keep her very close, was to wake her up. That thought made him wince. She would be very upset with him certainly but it would keep him from throwing her back down to the ground and ravishing her again. Gently he began to shake her, and whisper her name.

Kagome's eyes didn't want to open, she didn't want to see Inuyasha, didn't want to remember what he'd done. Most of all, she didn't want him to convince her to forgive him. He could do that too easily, that was one of her weakest points. If Naraku asked for her forgiveness knowing her she'd likely give it, no matter what boast she made to the contrary she just couldn't forever hate anyone.

“Just leave me alone…” She knew she sounded as pathetic as she felt, but the simple truth of the matter was that she didn't care. She didn't care if she sounded unhappy and miserable in her own world, she was just that. The one man in the world she had hoped to one day give her virginity to willingly had forced it from her… She felt broken, and used like something filthy had crawled beneath her skin and she had the feeling that no matter how hard or how much she washed that feeling wouldn't go away.

He readjusted her and she realized she was sitting in his lap she whimpered as the various sore spots she had from the night before made themselves known. She wanted to be stronger than this, wanted to get up and tell the man who had hurt her off. She couldn't, she wasn't strong like so many of the people in their group. She was a pulling weakling who cried and ran when she should stand strong. Or at least, that's what it felt like sometimes.

Damn! This wasn't what he wanted from her now, the way she was acting, slightly defiant but her actions and her body language were telling him she was being submissive. She had yet to open her eyes and look at him, she wasn't stiff in his arms and her head was bowed.

“I won't leave you alone,” he told her firmly, trying to get a bit of a rise out of her. “I won't ever leave you alone. And don't you dare think you can just run home now either.” Sympathy for her wouldn't get them anywhere. Although part of him wanted to just hold her and rock her as she cried the other part wanted her to know that last night wouldn't be the last time he took her. Like it or not she belonged to him now, and that made him feel very empowered, more like the dominant male he was supposed to be and not the male following the dominant female.

Kagome, willingly or not would forever and always be his now.

Then she looked up at him and his heart twisted painfully, she looked so lost, so uncertain. Of him he was sure he hadn't made it apparent what sorts of things he was capable of. What sort of cruelty, as she would see it. She didn't know what to think about him, but why was she so sad? He didn't understand it. She'd had so many near rapes in the past that he thought she'd come to terms with the fact that she might end up raped. At least it was him and not some creature that had crawled out of the swamps!

She didn't have any intention of staying there, she needed to go home, crawl into bed and lick her wounds. “Let me go…” She muttered weakly then lowered her gaze, remembering that dogs didn't like people looking them in the eye; they saw it as a challenge. She had never thought of Inuyasha as more dog than human, but right now she wasn't sure of anything. Her head felt as if it would explode; she was tired, but alert, she was utterly confused about her own heart, and most importantly she felt a weight that had never been there settling itself on her shoulders. “I- I won't stay… I'll get h-home… somehow I will get home…”

Growling he used his free hand to turn her face up to his. She wasn't being fucking predictable! He had expected her to argue with him when he said she couldn't go home, not whimper out a weak protest! “Look at me girl!”

Again she whimpered but did as he ordered and looked up at him. “You don't seem to understand your situation…” he growled low in his throat. A part of his mind was whispering that she hadn't yet learned exactly who was master in this game, that same part was urging him strongly to remind her. Once, twice or a thousand times throughout the coming days if that's what it took. “You can't leave me now. If you even try I will have to punish you. You belong to me!”

He forgot his plan to be gentle in his need to dominate her took full possession of his mind. Nothing could change what was now reality for both of them. Kagome would never be able to leave him, even if he died something of him would remain living in her heart and soul forever. That was just the way he wanted it too she was his in all the ways that mattered. Her heart was probably lost to him temporarily but he was certain that with some time he could repair the bonds he'd broken with her and she would again hand him her heart willingly.

Twisting his body he lowered her to the ground and caged her body with his. He knew that he should ignore his instincts and try to soothe her, try to make her understand what was going on. Unfortunately for both of them he had never really had to deal with his irrational youkai blood. At least not enough to really know how to control it, and whenever Kagome was around it threatened to take all control from him period.

“Kagome…” he growled her name out not surprised to see the terror on her face. She was tugging his haori around her tighter, as if trying to protect herself from him. It wasn't a good idea to take her now he needed to talk though he was loathing the very idea. “I don't want to hurt you, don't you get that?!”

His voice held its usual bite, like he was pissed at her again. It was a welcome change, but the position he had forced her into terrified her. Was he going to rape her again? Here and now just after she'd woken up? “Please…” she whimpered afraid that she was going to feel a lot more pain again, both physical and mental, “don't… not again…”

Never had she thought Inuyasha would do that to her, never in her life. Yes his youkai part scared her but that was okay. He was always and forever Inuyasha that was all that mattered. Now she wasn't so sure, this was something she hadn't anticipated at all. Her love for him made it impossible for her to completely hate him but she was now so scared of him she wasn't sure she could ever get too close to him again.

“I'm not going to hurt you!” He shouted down at her frustrated beyond measure. “At least… Not right now.” For a moment she had seemed relieved but then the terror returned to her face and she visibly began to try and shrink away from him. He was messing this up, he'd never been good at dealing with Kagome, and she was too unpredictable! Talking had never been his strong point, but he had always thought that if forced to he could talk rationally with her.

He needed her to calm down and listen to him though, and he wasn't sure that she would. However he didn't have any real experience in dealing with these kinds of situations; he'd never cared what a woman had felt before and now her acceptance of him was crucial. She began to whimper and try to wiggle away from him then, her body twisting beneath him stirring thoughts he needed to put at bay until later at least.

“Kagome!” he snapped her name distracting her and stopping her from wiggling. The girl was about to cry, and he needed to stop her from that too he hated when she cried for any reason. He felt powerless when she did. He hoped that she never realized that for when she did become willing to be with him she could easily use that to her advantage which would be the last thing he wanted.

Putting as much emotion behind his voice as he could he whispered, “Why won't you just listen to me? I'm trying to explain things to you… I don't want to hurt you…”

Kagome blinked confused, two seconds ago he had sounded so angry and frustrated but now… Sadness and hopelessness were evident in his voice and eyes. It was too confusing… This man… The man she loved had raped her… Twice! How could she be feeling pity for his predicament? It didn't make any sense!

Seeing her soften to him even if just a little bit Inuyasha lowered his head until their foreheads were touching, in an attempt of course to keep her focused on him. “Kagome don't you understand that what happened before HAD to happen? Don't you think I would have stopped if I could? I don't want to hurt you but last night…” he sighed dramatically. “I didn't get much of a choice in the matter. The moon doesn't just turn me human once a month, it also increases every instinct I have in my body a thousand times when the moon gets full. I wanted you, I've wanted you for a long time… Then I just snapped!”

Kagome felt a blush crawling up her neck but forced it down. How could she trust that what he was saying was the truth? Did it even matter? There were a thousand solutions to that, even if it was the truth. He could have left for a while, he could have hinted at what he wanted before… There were so many things he could have done and he hadn't.

“Then you should just leave me alone… Let me think about things, let me go home to see my family.” She whimpered when he growled again. Was there any point in trying to reason with him? Honestly before now it had never worked so there was little chance that even now after he had done such a thing to her that he would even consider…

“Kagome…” her name was a hiss, he'd already told her “no”. Every instinct he had told her he needed to dominate her more, show her that he was her master. However that would only cause more problems than it would solve, he didn't want Kagome to become some weak simpering creature that begged his permission and his forgiveness in every aspect of her life. Part of her appeal was that she wasn't like the rest of the humans he'd encountered in the past, she didn't bow to anyone. What they both needed was some compromise. He doubted though, that any compromise would suit either of them right now.

“Look, the moon is going to be full for the next two nights.” He ignored her gasp of horror. “I can't risk letting you leave my side until that is over. I also can't risk you leaving me for good. If you do then I would go crazy.” Her eyes grew wide in fear, at the prospect of him going crazy, or at the very idea that she would have to stay by his side now? He hoped it was the former but wouldn't discount the later. “Kagome… When a dog youkai takes a virgin on the night of the full moon she can't leave him. It's a marking of sorts; it binds the two people together in some weird way. Ever since I was a kid I knew that, and I also knew that if my mom hadn't locked me in the closet on those days I could have killed.”

Now the horror in her eyes softened, sympathy he guessed but it was a great deal better. If she could still feel the softer emotions towards him then there was a chance that he hadn't completely killed what had been between them before… Whatever that had been.

“And now you're more than that, more than the woman who will keep me from trying to kill everything in sight once a month. You're my mate, the woman who is bound to me body and soul forever… I don't really know the details, I was just a pup when my mom tried to explain things to me, but I do know that now that you're my mate you life will be the same length as mine, if you die or if I die, then both die.” He closed his eyes, not liking the look of terror that had come back into her eyes. It stung to be rejected in this way, but he couldn't let that or any other emotion stop him. That was part of the package; when someone chose their mate and marked their mate there would be plenty of obstacles they had to leap over and pull through. However he had never once imagined it would be this hard.

Once long ago he had told Kikyou what happened when youkai mated. That was one of the reasons he guessed she wanted him to join her in hell. Though the act had never been done he had suggested that he wanted such a thing. If he had mated with her then he would be dead, living in hell with Kikyou right now instead of trying to reason with Kagome. He wanted to tell her, wanted to tell them all that he might have given Kikyou a reason to want him to come to hell with her.

“Kagome… Please understand, I am now way too vulnerable; I can't risk you dying or me dying, that would mean both of us dying and I will never be able to rest easy if you are not at my side. I have to protect you and I will.”

She didn't say anything for a long moment, and he opened his eyes needing to see the emotions in her eyes. To his surprise she just looked tired, like she had run as fast and as far as she could before she collapsed. If she had that expression on her face and been standing he would have braced himself to catch her.

What had she expected? She wondered to herself, some kind of declaration of love? Some reason for him to want her so badly he couldn't stand it? Reasons beyond nature and beyond simply rutting? Had she honestly held some hope in her heart that he had snapped and mated with her because he loved her? She felt like a fool for even thinking that might be the case no matter how fleeting that feeling was. If it was a matter of souls, as far as Inuyasha was concerned she and Kikyou were the same. He loved Kikyou, not Kagome. And now the only reason he would protect her was to protect himself… She felt so drained and so unhappy.

It was all just too much. Why did this shit happen to her? She needed to get home, right now, seal the well up and think. The first step to doing that was to have Inuyasha relax his guard so she could run away, though she didn't think that would be easy she had to try. It would take careful planning, as Inuyasha likely wouldn't drop his guard if she attempted and failed. Making two attempts to run nearly impossible.

“A-alright… I'm willing to give this… another try…” That wasn't a lie, when she went home she would think hard and decide for herself what she needed to do. That was trying enough for her and healing would be a lot easier with her family around.

There was something Inuyasha didn't like about that statement. Something told him this wasn't the end and that she wasn't being completely honest. Though he could detect no lie, her heartbeat had been the same not skipping at all. Besides Kagome wasn't one to deceive others, though in this instance he wouldn't be the least bit surprised if that's exactly what she was doing. Still he found reason to hope that things would work out well enough soon and Kagome would willingly be his very soon.

 

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Well a lot of thinking and talking action will come in chapter three doubtlessly, I hope I didn't disappoint everyone too much. Heh…