InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Fumbling Toward Ecstacy ❯ Chapter 2 ( Chapter 2 )
[ Y - Young Adult: Not suitable for readers under 16 ]
By: flowers 
Chapter 2
Anime/Manga: InuYasha Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Angst / Romance / Drama | Type: Continuation | Uploaded On: 02.20.2005 | Pages: 2 | Words: 2.2K | Visits: 576 | Status: Work In Progress
Chapter 2
Anime/Manga: InuYasha Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Angst / Romance / Drama | Type: Continuation | Uploaded On: 02.20.2005 | Pages: 2 | Words: 2.2K | Visits: 576 | Status: Work In Progress
Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha, nor do I profit.
"I'm so tired of being here,
Surpressed by all my childish fears,
And if you have to leave,
I wish that you would just leave,
Your presence still lingers here,
And it won't leave me alone."
- Evanessence, My Immortal
Chapter Two
The sun sank like a neon sign on the horizon. Everything was cogs and wheels in his mind now, the hum of advancement in technology, of progress and twenty-four hour grocers. Nothing was natural, even the very mountains the sun sank its electricity into were shining like plastic.
With every sunset he could feel the wheels of his own life turning. Ever so slowly into decay and decadence. The very need for him in this world waning, growing impatient and tired with his presence, this was the age of humans to fulfill short lives with plastic idols and microwaves. Even the very soul of his life had walked out on the pretense of advancement. What a dark and lowly day to be immortal.
One weary step after another he found himself wandering the streets of the city, a city he had once prided himself in knowing was now like an ominous stranger, holding a biological clock of hours above his head like a knife against his throat.
Of all the time in his life the past few years had sharpened him like a suicidal tool of self-mutilation. He had set himself up for his own demise it seemed and at that moment the design of death almost threw off its shroud of mystery to reveal the divine arc of his doom. Only one word came into his mind.
Wasted.
All the time and tediousness, emotion and struggle. He threw back his head and gave a deep laugh. All because of this frail human and spiked treasure of love she bore for him, despite the fear of death he insisted on claiming over her. He turned on his heels and began a rapid pace in the directions of home.
His gate was dark with memory. Her breathless form crouching in the archway haunted his mind like a ghost. His door was covered in the scent of her. His dark house told the story of a thousand golden hours. His bed was burnt by the radiance of her warmth.
Why? Why? He could scream this into the void of his mind. Maybe if he sized this up in the calculative way he’d always approached everything with he could find the missing piece. What he didn’t do to keep her here, in his protection and intensity. Or maybe that was it, the protection was too thorough and the intensity too severe for a mere mortal. But he had almost forgotten. She was no mere mortal.
Lying the in the darkened swirl of moonlight and shadow he took himself back to that first night, after his will had broken and she was there to take the pieces off the ground…
-
“Ms. Higurashi, I can assure you once your daughter is at liberty to speak I will personally see to it that she contacts you and that this anger you’re demonstrating on me may be shifted to her,” he stated casually and waited for her response. The tired sigh on the other end told him her reserve had cracked.
“Let her know I’m not happy with the way she leaves suddenly and disappears for hours with no explanation, my nerves are shot,” she barked and hung up the phone. He placed the phone on his splintered table slowly. He had nearly torn the wall apart with the table in his anger only a few hours before. Blessedly it had felt like days passed between then and now. He gave a short half-smile.
Kagome was finally awake and he was resisting to go to her. Sleeping in a dreamless void was one thing to watch her do, now he must deal the real issue at hand. With one soundless foot in front of the other he padded back to the doorframe and quickly masked his troubled face to step into the room.
She was sitting upright with large questioning eyes; her hands lay motionless in her lap. He could immediately feel a new vibrance radiating from her and basked in the subtle warmth of her presence before returning to his worry. At least she had woken.
“You’re awake,” he stated and she nodded slowly, watching him closely. His heart sank and he controlled his need to rush to her and feel her warmth from a more intimate distance. She may reject him, she may have been telling him what she thought he wanted to hear to save her own life. He shook his head and dismissed the thought, she had stood firm behind what he didn’t want to hear at the time and had suffered from his rage for it.
He began to feel the all to familiar wetness well in his eyes but pushed it back, far from the surface. “Do you need anything,” he asked in a small voice, betraying his stoic face. She sat with perplexed eyes and shook her head as if clearing it. He controlled himself again to not rush to her.
“Water please,” she croaked and cleared her throat. He was out of the room and back in a second with her request and paced slowly to the bed to hand the beverage to her. She reached for the cup but instead grabbed his hand. The water fell with a small thud to the rug and Sesshoumaru stood speechless, looking at the large tears forming in Kagome’s eyes he let his reserve falter. He fell into her and held her to him with force strong enough to knock the breath from her lungs. “It was real then,” she whispered so quietly he could barely understand her words. It hit with a wave of many emotions. So many he couldn’t recognize them all.
He covered her with his body and his affections. He took in the rich scent of her hair, dirty and burnt but reeking of her essence and relished it. He covered her face with attentions from his mouth. His hands found every rise and swell of her body until he knew every inch of her by heart. She submitted completely and wept with gladness. Her dream had been real. His words had been real.
He knew she had no clue what he was doing, he could smell her reaction to his attention and felt her gladness wash over him. The mental bond was now open. As he explored her body he gently urged her to do the same. He was familiarizing himself with his chosen partner, an instinct he was compelled to act upon for most part to see if she had healed but willingly to be close with her. He stilled himself and willed his hands and mouth to be gentle. After a moment he could sense her confusion and halted his actions. His blood was boiling.
He grudgingly released her to stand and she wiped the remaining tears from her eyes. He paced out of the room and returned with the phone and handed it to her. She looked at him and smiled.
“My mother called didn’t she, I hope she didn’t threaten you,” Kagome said with a bit of sarcasm and took the phone from his hand. He returned a warm half-smile and left her to speak with her mother. He walked briskly to the kitchen and put the kettle back on. Now that the initial joy and relief was finished and things had turned out in his favor there were many things to do.
He had to completely gut the house and maybe even enlarge it. He knew this was a nesting instinct but he found this only proper, she would be with him now and that meant living in his house. He would have to hire servants now, this wasn’t the best thought but she would need a personal servant to help her with mundane chores and perhaps cooking. He would find as many servants as she wanted; she need not lift a finger for the rest of her life.
He could hear nervous laughter coming from her direction. Kagome’s mother was a tough case but all would be well now. He mulled over plans and actions in his mind while pouring a steaming cup of tea and seating himself at the small kitchen table. Then a painful thought hit him. This nesting instinct was the result of another deeper instinct he hadn’t even considered, procreation. His head fell slack into his waiting hands. He couldn’t, he wouldn’t bring a half demon into this world of man.
He stood suddenly and his teacup tipped onto the table. He watched the dark steaming rivulets of tea swirl across the wood and fall into a pool on the waiting floor. What had he done? This choice had been a hard one to make and a torture even in its resolution. He knew she would be with child if he stayed with her, during her cycle the urge to mate would be too strong. All of these chemical ways humans had to forego the ovulation process wouldn’t work on her now, not with his blood in her veins. He felt like screaming, howling in his rage. He clenched his teeth and waited for the red curtain of his rage to lift from his eyes.
He heard a small sound and turned swiftly to meet Kagome’s large questioning eyes. He felt the intensity of anger leave his body and the red drain from his vision. These feelings of outrage and confusion melted before her. Feeling his mood change at the sight of her she relaxed as well. She could sense his mind now. She took a few tired steps forward and placed the phone on its table.
Guilt began to well in the pit of stomach at the sight of her tattered clothing and slow gait but he stood firm. She wouldn’t want him rushing to her; she would want to prove her strength to him.
“What’s wrong?” She asked perplexed and began to sway with exhaustion. He allowed himself to scoop her up and carry her to the bathroom.
“Nothing to worry about, I’ll prepare a bath. It looks like you’ll be wearing my undergarments yet again,” he said in a soft flat voice while her deep laughter showered his ears.
“Yeah, I guess so,” she chimed and sank into his strong chest. She was confused at his anger but it had all but vanished now. She would take his advice and not worry. The stress of the last few days would probably whiten her hair if she didn’t relax and let the gentle hand of joy cover her mind. This was all she had asked for and the joy of it was thick and wonderful.
-
He clenched his teeth and wadded the sheets in his hands. The sheets that merely days before were occupied by her. How did this come to pass? Flinging the torn material to the ground he jumped from the western style bed and quickly made his way to the back door and the garden.
No good.
The sweet smell of flowers in the moonlight. The reflection of the stars in his koi pond. Nothing in this house or on his lands belonged to him anymore. Go to her, go to her. The call nearly took him every waking moment of the day. What use is life when it is no longer your own? He smiled slightly and placed the palm of his hand against the surface of the pond's water. He could hear in his mind what she would have said.
"And what made you think life was yours to begin with?"
-
-
-
-
-
A/N: I would love some feedback. I'm not altogether happy with my own ideas. I feel this story could be something more. I'm also in dire need of beta. Someone who is familiar with my work and has better grammar skills than I (which I could throw a rock and hit ten people better at grammar). Give me a yell if interested, flowers_followed (at symbol) yahoo.com is my email address.
Thanks for reading,
flowers
Converting /tmp/phpgXiu6E to /dev/stdout
"I'm so tired of being here,
Surpressed by all my childish fears,
And if you have to leave,
I wish that you would just leave,
Your presence still lingers here,
And it won't leave me alone."
- Evanessence, My Immortal
Chapter Two
The sun sank like a neon sign on the horizon. Everything was cogs and wheels in his mind now, the hum of advancement in technology, of progress and twenty-four hour grocers. Nothing was natural, even the very mountains the sun sank its electricity into were shining like plastic.
With every sunset he could feel the wheels of his own life turning. Ever so slowly into decay and decadence. The very need for him in this world waning, growing impatient and tired with his presence, this was the age of humans to fulfill short lives with plastic idols and microwaves. Even the very soul of his life had walked out on the pretense of advancement. What a dark and lowly day to be immortal.
One weary step after another he found himself wandering the streets of the city, a city he had once prided himself in knowing was now like an ominous stranger, holding a biological clock of hours above his head like a knife against his throat.
Of all the time in his life the past few years had sharpened him like a suicidal tool of self-mutilation. He had set himself up for his own demise it seemed and at that moment the design of death almost threw off its shroud of mystery to reveal the divine arc of his doom. Only one word came into his mind.
Wasted.
All the time and tediousness, emotion and struggle. He threw back his head and gave a deep laugh. All because of this frail human and spiked treasure of love she bore for him, despite the fear of death he insisted on claiming over her. He turned on his heels and began a rapid pace in the directions of home.
His gate was dark with memory. Her breathless form crouching in the archway haunted his mind like a ghost. His door was covered in the scent of her. His dark house told the story of a thousand golden hours. His bed was burnt by the radiance of her warmth.
Why? Why? He could scream this into the void of his mind. Maybe if he sized this up in the calculative way he’d always approached everything with he could find the missing piece. What he didn’t do to keep her here, in his protection and intensity. Or maybe that was it, the protection was too thorough and the intensity too severe for a mere mortal. But he had almost forgotten. She was no mere mortal.
Lying the in the darkened swirl of moonlight and shadow he took himself back to that first night, after his will had broken and she was there to take the pieces off the ground…
-
“Ms. Higurashi, I can assure you once your daughter is at liberty to speak I will personally see to it that she contacts you and that this anger you’re demonstrating on me may be shifted to her,” he stated casually and waited for her response. The tired sigh on the other end told him her reserve had cracked.
“Let her know I’m not happy with the way she leaves suddenly and disappears for hours with no explanation, my nerves are shot,” she barked and hung up the phone. He placed the phone on his splintered table slowly. He had nearly torn the wall apart with the table in his anger only a few hours before. Blessedly it had felt like days passed between then and now. He gave a short half-smile.
Kagome was finally awake and he was resisting to go to her. Sleeping in a dreamless void was one thing to watch her do, now he must deal the real issue at hand. With one soundless foot in front of the other he padded back to the doorframe and quickly masked his troubled face to step into the room.
She was sitting upright with large questioning eyes; her hands lay motionless in her lap. He could immediately feel a new vibrance radiating from her and basked in the subtle warmth of her presence before returning to his worry. At least she had woken.
“You’re awake,” he stated and she nodded slowly, watching him closely. His heart sank and he controlled his need to rush to her and feel her warmth from a more intimate distance. She may reject him, she may have been telling him what she thought he wanted to hear to save her own life. He shook his head and dismissed the thought, she had stood firm behind what he didn’t want to hear at the time and had suffered from his rage for it.
He began to feel the all to familiar wetness well in his eyes but pushed it back, far from the surface. “Do you need anything,” he asked in a small voice, betraying his stoic face. She sat with perplexed eyes and shook her head as if clearing it. He controlled himself again to not rush to her.
“Water please,” she croaked and cleared her throat. He was out of the room and back in a second with her request and paced slowly to the bed to hand the beverage to her. She reached for the cup but instead grabbed his hand. The water fell with a small thud to the rug and Sesshoumaru stood speechless, looking at the large tears forming in Kagome’s eyes he let his reserve falter. He fell into her and held her to him with force strong enough to knock the breath from her lungs. “It was real then,” she whispered so quietly he could barely understand her words. It hit with a wave of many emotions. So many he couldn’t recognize them all.
He covered her with his body and his affections. He took in the rich scent of her hair, dirty and burnt but reeking of her essence and relished it. He covered her face with attentions from his mouth. His hands found every rise and swell of her body until he knew every inch of her by heart. She submitted completely and wept with gladness. Her dream had been real. His words had been real.
He knew she had no clue what he was doing, he could smell her reaction to his attention and felt her gladness wash over him. The mental bond was now open. As he explored her body he gently urged her to do the same. He was familiarizing himself with his chosen partner, an instinct he was compelled to act upon for most part to see if she had healed but willingly to be close with her. He stilled himself and willed his hands and mouth to be gentle. After a moment he could sense her confusion and halted his actions. His blood was boiling.
He grudgingly released her to stand and she wiped the remaining tears from her eyes. He paced out of the room and returned with the phone and handed it to her. She looked at him and smiled.
“My mother called didn’t she, I hope she didn’t threaten you,” Kagome said with a bit of sarcasm and took the phone from his hand. He returned a warm half-smile and left her to speak with her mother. He walked briskly to the kitchen and put the kettle back on. Now that the initial joy and relief was finished and things had turned out in his favor there were many things to do.
He had to completely gut the house and maybe even enlarge it. He knew this was a nesting instinct but he found this only proper, she would be with him now and that meant living in his house. He would have to hire servants now, this wasn’t the best thought but she would need a personal servant to help her with mundane chores and perhaps cooking. He would find as many servants as she wanted; she need not lift a finger for the rest of her life.
He could hear nervous laughter coming from her direction. Kagome’s mother was a tough case but all would be well now. He mulled over plans and actions in his mind while pouring a steaming cup of tea and seating himself at the small kitchen table. Then a painful thought hit him. This nesting instinct was the result of another deeper instinct he hadn’t even considered, procreation. His head fell slack into his waiting hands. He couldn’t, he wouldn’t bring a half demon into this world of man.
He stood suddenly and his teacup tipped onto the table. He watched the dark steaming rivulets of tea swirl across the wood and fall into a pool on the waiting floor. What had he done? This choice had been a hard one to make and a torture even in its resolution. He knew she would be with child if he stayed with her, during her cycle the urge to mate would be too strong. All of these chemical ways humans had to forego the ovulation process wouldn’t work on her now, not with his blood in her veins. He felt like screaming, howling in his rage. He clenched his teeth and waited for the red curtain of his rage to lift from his eyes.
He heard a small sound and turned swiftly to meet Kagome’s large questioning eyes. He felt the intensity of anger leave his body and the red drain from his vision. These feelings of outrage and confusion melted before her. Feeling his mood change at the sight of her she relaxed as well. She could sense his mind now. She took a few tired steps forward and placed the phone on its table.
Guilt began to well in the pit of stomach at the sight of her tattered clothing and slow gait but he stood firm. She wouldn’t want him rushing to her; she would want to prove her strength to him.
“What’s wrong?” She asked perplexed and began to sway with exhaustion. He allowed himself to scoop her up and carry her to the bathroom.
“Nothing to worry about, I’ll prepare a bath. It looks like you’ll be wearing my undergarments yet again,” he said in a soft flat voice while her deep laughter showered his ears.
“Yeah, I guess so,” she chimed and sank into his strong chest. She was confused at his anger but it had all but vanished now. She would take his advice and not worry. The stress of the last few days would probably whiten her hair if she didn’t relax and let the gentle hand of joy cover her mind. This was all she had asked for and the joy of it was thick and wonderful.
-
He clenched his teeth and wadded the sheets in his hands. The sheets that merely days before were occupied by her. How did this come to pass? Flinging the torn material to the ground he jumped from the western style bed and quickly made his way to the back door and the garden.
No good.
The sweet smell of flowers in the moonlight. The reflection of the stars in his koi pond. Nothing in this house or on his lands belonged to him anymore. Go to her, go to her. The call nearly took him every waking moment of the day. What use is life when it is no longer your own? He smiled slightly and placed the palm of his hand against the surface of the pond's water. He could hear in his mind what she would have said.
"And what made you think life was yours to begin with?"
-
-
-
-
-
A/N: I would love some feedback. I'm not altogether happy with my own ideas. I feel this story could be something more. I'm also in dire need of beta. Someone who is familiar with my work and has better grammar skills than I (which I could throw a rock and hit ten people better at grammar). Give me a yell if interested, flowers_followed (at symbol) yahoo.com is my email address.
Thanks for reading,
flowers
Converting /tmp/phpgXiu6E to /dev/stdout