InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Fuyu no Shimekiri ❯ A Fools Broken Heart ( Chapter 9 )

[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]

Chapter 9: A Fool's Broken Heart

Inuyasha sat in his chosen tree, gazing west, watching the sunset, knowing that somewhere over the horizon, his heart lay, surrounded by magnificence he never could have given her - and yet, she had never cared for that, if he'd taken the gift she'd tried so hard to give him, she would have been happy living in a cave.

If only he hadn't been the world's biggest fool.

Sometimes, he still couldn't believe that she was truly dead. He'd hoped, for so long, that she'd gone home to her time - at least that way, there'd have been the chance to at least see her again. But now, he had no hope. She was gone... and nothing in his life had ever hurt more than the knowledge of her death.

The only thing that even came close is the fact of who held her - in death, even if not in life. Sesshoumaru. Even his name brought anguish... because the truth was that the bastard had proven he would have been a more fitting mate for the tiny miko with the heart as big as eternity. He had never been the fool - he'd known what a treasure Kagome was far before he himself had been able to see it.

It was shaming to him that his brother, the human-hating Lord of the West, had seen Kagome's worth before he had... and he had had her for so long and never been able to see past his own stupidity. The kami must surely be laughing at him - he didn't think anyone had ever been as clueless as he had - and Sesshoumaru had spent much energy on proving just how much a fool he had been when he had planned his revenge.

He still had no idea how successful he had been. His admitted goal had been to torture his hanyou half-brother, by ripping his soul to shreds, instead of trying to kill him. Inuyasha chuckled darkly. No, that would have actually been merciful at that point... death, versus nigh eternal suffering. Not hard to figure out what Sesshoumaru had been thinking would hurt the worst. And he had been right.

At first, Inuyasha had intended to take his own life. All he could think of was joining Kagome in death. Maybe, if they couldn't be together in life... but he'd quickly realized that that wouldn't happen. He'd lost any chance with her, in death, or in life, and once that had sunk in, he could no longer face death - because then he'd truly be alone. At least this way, he knew where her body was - and it was something. As long as her body existed, there was something of her to hold onto.

And so... he traveled around somewhat, always keeping no more than two days travel from his brother's shiro. He kept a low profile - and in these last hundred years, his brother'd never noticed him, so he had done well. Sometimes, the hardest thing was to keep himself secret - there were days when it was all he could do not to storm the palace his brother lived in, just to see her again. Just for a moment - he needed to see her, to scent her again, more than he needed anything... including air.

As he watched the sun sink into that same horizon that hid her from his sight, the brilliant, beautiful colors that heralded the dying of the day filtered through his memories of his beloved miko, and it was as if she were robed in fire, and smiling at him. His head sunk down into his chest as it pierced his heart again that all he would ever have of her were his memories.

He was so wrapped up in his memories and pain, he missed the scent of his one-time rival... and so almost fell out of his tree when the first howl reached his ears.

"Inukorro! Get out of your damned tree right now, you stupid bastard!"

Inuyasha growled as he hopped gracefully down from the limb he'd been lying on, irritated beyond belief by the presence of one who only brought more memories of his beloved to pain him.

"What the fuck do you want, damn stinky ookami?"

"I'm bringing you a little message for you from your brother, dog shit. Kagome's back. She's alive again."

Inuyasha drew a shocked breath, eyes widening, then narrowing, he strode forward and grabbed Koga, effortlessly holding by his furs. "What kind of sick fucking joke is that, you bastard? Do you two think it's funny to torture me this way?" he snarled out, eyes flashing red.

Koga's eyes widened as he struggled to get out of Inuyasha's grip. "No! Fuck! I'm deadly serious, idiot."

He released the startled ookami, turning on his heel, he began to head out of the clearing.

"Wait! You didn't let me finish, Inuyasha. I wouldn't go there if I were you - he'll destroy you. That's the other thing he wanted me to tell you. She's alive - but she's his. He's got his courting mark on her... and she was more than willing." As he spoke, Inuyasha's eyes flared to red, then gold, then red, and his fists clenched, claws setting the blood scent thickly in the small clearing as he drew blood from his own flesh in his anguish.

"I don't believe it, Koga! She'd never agree to court that hell-born bastard! He must have tricked her or something, and I'm going to find out what the hell is up!"

"Listen, you stubborn fool! I spoke with her myself and I can guarantee you she wasn't under any spell, now was she in a wrong frame of mind. I even brought you up to her. Would you like to hear what she had to say about you?" Koga shook his head, actually saddened at seeing the hanyou's pain. "She said that she'd loved you - back then, but she no longer did - a hundred year sleep was a wonderful way to get over someone, is the way she put it."

He sighed as he watched the other male's shoulders slump. "She looked truly happy with him... and he was obviously completely devoted to her. In fact, the Northern Lord apparently acted offensively towards her, and Sesshoumaru almost went beast on him. He's pretty much started a war with the North because of a simple insult."

Inuyasha ahd stood, head bowed, and shoulders slumped as he'd listened to Koga's tale, and his heart hurt so, he couldn't find it in himself to speak. He turned and walked away... heading south this time.

Koga watched, not knowing what else to say. At first, when Sesshoumaru had told him to pass that message on, he'd enjoyed the thought of getting one up on his old nemesis, but now... he'd never seen such agony in anyone's face, and all he could do was watch the hanyou pass into the night, knowing that he would never find peace. Of all the things he'd ever done, this is the one he regretted most. He should have just avoided Inuyasha - there was no excuse for what he'd done to the half dog-hanyou, rubbing in what a fool he had been.

Inuyasha had chosen his own fate... he'd had a kami-given chance with the most beautiful heart that had ever graced this ugly realm...

And he'd turned his back on it. The kami weren't known for giving a gift twice that had been rejected once. He'd lost out.

Sesshoumaru wasn't a fool, and he wasn't about to give back the gift that had been dropped in his lap. He'd grabbed it with both hands...

When time finally ended, Sesshoumaru would still be holding that gift.