InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Gone ❯ Not My Heart to Say ( Chapter 4 )

[ Y - Young Adult: Not suitable for readers under 16 ]

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Sesshomaru’s POV

Their reunion was overpowering.
Salt stung my nose as I watched them.
They didn’t know what it was like for her now
and didn’t hear her scream at night.
I would watch her
as she slept and spoke.
Her dreams were a plague.
I smelt her fear as it lingered within the halls,
smothered her room,
consumed her very body and mind.
I watched her now
and saw her body tense.
The Higurashi’s didn’t come alone.
Officer Miroku Doi.
He questioned her
besides that fact she was crying
uncontrollable.
When he asked though, she answered,
He watched me. Two months.
I reported. No one believed.
I was passing the fair.
He was like shadows.
I felt my blood.
Woke up by stone walls.
I was....
I was.......
Her voice was not like before.
Before it was filled with hate
and somewhere a feeling of trust.
Now, there was horror
and feelings of wanting to be left alone.
She was acting different,
she did not trust them.
Her own family,
but then I don’t trust my own
for what was left of it.
I was not the same.
Her mother cried as she spoke
in fear of knowing what happened to Kagome.


She was out of the room.
She traveled the halls.
Ate in the kitchen,
Sat on in the living room,
stared at the entrance door.
She was expecting something to happen.
She waited for someone to
come through those doors
that stood high above her with intimidation.
She never left the house.
Never went outside,
never looked out the window.
She feared him.
Him, he who is not named.
She dares not to speak it.
She cringes in her memories
and at the kindness of the servants.
I watched her do this
and wonder why.


Why?
Why?
Kagome sat at the corner
the the couch.
Knees up and hiding behind them.
She repeats this,
she says it over and over.
She was an annoyance,
a complete mess.
What do you keep talking about?
I was becoming mad with her rambling.


There was someone out there.
I could smell them.
At night I wake up
and looking out my balcony
I can feel the aura of a disturbed man.
His blood reeked over
my lands
and tainting his path.
He is not welcomed here,
but I know why he came.
It was Kagome.
He wanted her, but had no way
to lay a hand on her.
I do not like the way this woman
was attracting danger
upon my home.
Then again,
I can help, but feel
liable for this woman’s life
and this woman holds a secret of
my father.


Kagome’s POV

Kagome.
Kagome.
His voice rang in my head
as lay in bed staring at nothing.
I was shaken from my dream.
I was running.
He was behind me.
My heart pounded
against my chest.
Next my blood
was on my hands,
on the ground,
on his lips.
My breath was being stolen
by the grip of his
hands.
I didn’t want him touching.
I scratched at his face
and his skin stuck under my nails.
His face was impaled with dents
and his flesh gleamed.
Then I stood portal
of the great doors of the mansion,
I watched the gates
as a black figure less creature stood beyond it.
I knew who it was,
but at the same time didn’t.
Sound was unheard of
and the wind played at my face.
Why?
Why?
Why does he want me?


My family.
I don’t know them anymore.
They have aged and I no longer
recognize them.
I didn’t smile,
I didn’t do much.
I hugged, but with no heart.
I didn’t know what was wrong with me.
I look into their eyes
and only see happiness.
I had failed to feel my own
and pretended.
I felt my own restlessness
to leave them
and return to the solitude of my room.
Before they left,
I didn’t go with them.
I don’t want to go out there.
I felt him out there.
I feared out there.
I was not safe out there.
I was safe here.
Safe with Sesshomaru.


Sesshomaru.
I felt safe with him.
I always felt his eyes
watching me.
Tashio,
was is your son
cold?
I waited for a reply.
I cannot say
for it is not my heart to say
what it is that
hurts it so.
Ask him.
How do I ask Sesshomaru?
He is greater than I.
He could kill me if he wished.
How?