InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Gone ❯ Chapter 1: Grief ( Chapter 1 )

Gone

Chapter 1:  Grief

By Selenity Jade

 

Disclaimer:  I do not own IY.  I don't claim to own IY.  I'd love to get my hands on Inu's little ears though.  ^_^;

 

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She was really gone.  Nothing was going to bring her back, short of a wish on the Shikon Jewel, and without her, they would never be able to find the pieces.  Without her, they'd never be able to destroy Naraku to get his shards of the jewel.

 

It was hopeless.

 

Inuyasha knew what hopeless was.  He had felt it every day of his miserable fucking life.  He knew his friends - her friends - were confused by his sudden apathy regarding the Shikon Jewel, but they weren't looking at the big picture.

 

She was gone.

 

Kagome was dead.

 

Dead.

 

And nothing would help them now.

 

It was all rather simple to the grief-stricken half-demon's mind.  She was dead.  She was the only person able to sense the jewel shards.  The jewel was the only thing able to bring her back from death.  Therefore, it was hopeless.

 

Why couldn't those fools understand that?  Why couldn't they see that it was over?  Why couldn't they see that without her... there was no reason to continue in the futile search?

 

Why had that fool girl died so goddamn selflessly!?  What the fuck was wrong with her!?  They could have won!  He could have won!  She didn't need to take the stupid blow meant for him!  He would have survived it!

 

She, of course, did not...

 

"Damn!" Inuyasha growled loudly to the empty forest.  He had left his so-called friends behind at the site of their camp a few hours ago.  He had wanted to be alone.  As he had every night since her death...

Four long days ago.

 

He closed his golden eyes and bowed his head.  He was so very angry with her.  But it was better than crying.  He wouldn't cry.  He wouldn't give in to the emptiness and grief her passing had caused.

 

He especially wouldn't let the others see him lose it.  He couldn't stay there with them.  He couldn't...  Gods, he couldn't stay near her body anymore.  It was covered of course, none of them could stand to see the girl they each loved so still, so lifeless.

 

It was killing a little piece of himself every moment he stayed there.  Every moment he thought of her.  Just like before, just like with Kikyou...

Gods, what could he do?  He could... he could ask Sesshoumaru to help, he should ask his damned half-brother to use Tensaiga on her, but...

He knew it was futile.  He knew it because his brother did not care about him.  His brother hated him.  His brother...

 

Had been the one to kill his mother.

 

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Sango glanced at Miroku.  "Inuyasha's been gone awhile.  Do you think we should look for him?"

 

The monk shook his head.  "No."  He paused, staring in the direction the half-demon had gone.  "He needs to be alone right now.  Staying so near Kagome-sama's body must be very difficult for him."

 

"It's difficult for all of us, especially Shippou-chan!"

 

Miroku nodded, looking over at the exterminator.  "Yes, it is.  But I think..."  He turned his head back towards the darkened forest.  "Inuyasha loves her in ways we do not understand.  He did not love her as a friend, like us.  He did not love her as a mother-figure, like Shippou-chan.  He loves her as a woman, companion, and the first person he's ever trusted."

 

"But Kikyou..."

 

Miroku shook his head.  "From what I understand, and from what I've been told, he cared a great deal for her, and yes, most likely loved the priestess.  However, I also think that he didn't trust her.  Not completely.  Otherwise, his faith in her wouldn't have been so easily conquered.  And the same goes for Kikyou.  If she had trusted Inuyasha more, she wouldn't have been fooled by the demon wearing his face." 

 

The lecherous monk smiled sadly at Sango.  "I trust you, for example.  If someone attacked me wearing your visage, I would be suspicious, and doubt it was truly you.  I would have searched deeper to see if that was truly you."

 

Sango hesitated, then nodded. "True, but...  Kikyou and Inuyasha didn't know that someone was out to get us.  They didn't know about Naraku.  We do.  We are always on the lookout for his tricks."

 

The monk simply smiled.  "Yes, we are.  But I would always make sure the person who betrayed me truly did before I would jump to the most obvious conclusions."  Miroku glanced at the covered form of Kagome's body, his eyes sad.  "And if someone wearing Kagome's face had attacked Inuyasha...  He would have known immediately it was not her.  No matter the circumstances.  Because she is the one who taught Inuyasha to trust."

 

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