InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Guilty Hero ❯ Starting Point ( Chapter 34 )

Thank you to everyone who reviewed—there were an astonishing number this time around, and I'm very grateful for all your comments. ^__^

I would also like to apologize if I never replied to your review. I made an effort, but I know I missed some. Not intentionally, but it did happen. ^__^;

As for the delay in the update… I have no excuse. Only writer's block. However, I am fairly pleased with the finished product, and I hope you are as well.

Let's see… Oh, big news! Guilty Hero has been nominated for Best Angst Fiction for the FA Awards! Whoo! So, if anyone is a member of the FA or is willing to join, please consider voting for GH—you would make a certain Egg very happy. ^__^

One last thing—GH has now passed 10,000 hits on Mediaminer!! Whoo!

All right, enough news. On with the story.

In this chapter: The first day is always the hardest, right?

Guilty Hero

Chapter 33: Starting Point

Dragging open one heavily lidded eye, Inu-Yasha blinked blearily, trying to figure out what it was that had disturbed him. He turned a little onto his side so he could peer about the room, and soon came the sound of softly chattering voices once again, making him scowl in annoyance.

He had been trying, albeit unsuccessfully, to fall into a deep, restful slumber all night long. He had gone to bed earlier than usual; he had wrapped up in his new blanket, burrowing deep in the soft yarn and sinking into his pillows; and he had shut his eyes, waiting for sleep to overcome him. However, thoughts of his declaration to Kagome that day kept spinning around and around in his head, and he soon realized that sleep wasn't going to come as easily as he had hoped.

There was no doubt in his mind that declaring his desire to quit was the right path to take. The relief he felt at finally saying those words for the right reason was greater than anything he had felt before, and Kagome's reaction to it solidified his decision. However, now that he had time to think on it, anxiety started to set in.

He tried to imagine a day without the comforting presence of liquor that soothed every annoyance, that eased the guilt that had pricked constantly at him for so long, that kept others at a safe distance, and that allowed him a dreamless sleep, free from nightmares of his dreadful past deeds. However, the mere thought of going without the buffer of whiskey made him sit straight up in bed, panting heavily and sweating. He didn't like it. He knew quitting was the right thing to do; he knew that life would take a turn for the better; he knew it would make Kagome happy beyond belief if he pulled himself off the drink; but the thought of going without it made his blood run cold. Whiskey was his crutch—how was he supposed to hobble along without its support?

Feeling so unsettled by these thoughts, for it frightened him to realize the extent of his dependence, he had risen from bed at one in the morning and migrated into the living room with Kagome's blanket in tow. He attempted to distract himself with the late-night TV shows and cigarettes, but he couldn't help but be acutely aware of how his liquor cabinet seemed to mock him from the kitchen. It taunted him with its contents. He knew a whiskey bottle resided behind that closed door, ready to put an end to his insomnia with just a few minutes' work. Part of him was tempted to take the bottle and down it—if he was going to quit drinking the next day, he may as well take advantage of the night before, right?

But still, guilt chewed at his conscience as reason and desire battled for dominance while he debated. He puffed slowly on a cigarette while wrapping Kagome's blanket around his shoulders. Should he give into desire one last time and allow whiskey to carry him into the last dreamless slumber he would experience for a long time to come? Or, would he prove to Kagome that he really did mean business and stay off the drink until she returned the next day to give him guidance?

His heart knew the answer to that question, but his body didn't seem to care, so the silent debate continued until he took a drag of a cigarette and started to cough, nausea settling over him. Wondering what on Earth was wrong, he realized that he had been staring into the kitchen for almost two hours and had gone through half a pack of cigarettes in that time; it was small wonder he felt nauseous.

Letting out a growl, he had flipped off the television and returned to his bedroom, hoping that the exhaustion that had settled over him would allow him to drift to sleep, but to no avail. A fitful sleep, broken by dreams plagued him for the rest of the night, until at last he was able to rest as the sun rose. It was from this rest, not minutes after it had begun, that he was woken from by the sound of voices coming from his living room.

“Damn it all,” he grumbled, sitting up and swinging his legs off the bed; he supposed it was no use trying to sleep any longer, not with the voices growing louder by the second. Apparently, his guests, who he assumed were Sango and Miroku, were excited about something. Popping a couple kinks out of his back, he climbed to his feet and, dragging Kagome's blanket off the bed to take with him, he shuffled out of the room to go scowl at his unwelcome visitors.

As he emerged into the living room, blinking owlishly from the lights, he realized that Kagome was simply watching television, where a rather large event was happening on the news. Peering at the screen, he made his way to the couch and sat down, draping his blanket over his lap to ward off the cold in his apartment. Kagome started when he did this; apparently she hadn't heard him come in.

“Inu-Yasha! I'm sorry. I didn't know you were awake yet. I thought you would sleep a while longer; it's rather early.”

He sighed, not wanting to be reminded of the ungodly hour he was actually conscious in. “Couldn't sleep,” he grunted, keeping his gaze on the TV. “I was tryin' to but I heard something, so I came out here and… yeah.” He felt rather awkward being around her at the moment. After his embarrassing, soul-baring confession yesterday, he was worried how she was going to act around him now.

She didn't seem to be as bothered as he was; in fact, she was acting like she had been expecting something like this. With a concerned smile, she repeated, “Couldn't sleep?” Appearing unsurprised by his short nod, she asked gently, “Were you worried about what you said yesterday? About what it all means?”

He let out a soft sigh; she always seemed to be able to see right through him. “Yeah,” he mumbled, resting his chin in his hand. “I just… I don't like it. I couldn't stop thinking about it. I kept trying to imagine what it would be like, making it through a day without whiskey. I know I've done it before, but always with the prospect of having it another day. Never just… knowing that drink could be the last.” He frowned, once again feeling unsettled by the prospect. However, it was Kagome's next question that worried him even more than the thought of a day without whiskey.

“Inu-Yasha… Do you regret your decision?”

He quickly whipped his head up to stare sharply at her. Her expression was sincere, though full of concern, and he knew that she truly wanted to know the answer. He knew, should he answer yes, that she would immediately back off and allow him to slip back into his old habits in no time; never once had she forced him to make a decision about drinking. She knew he had to choose what to do of his own volition. It was because of that that he considered, for one brief, fleeting moment, to respond with `yes' and fall back into a life that he had grown comfortable with. He had Kagome and he had his drink, the two most comforting things in his life.

However, with a harsh growl at himself and a shake of the head, he chased the thought away. He knew that couldn't happen. Why, the whole reason he wanted to quit drinking in the first place was so that he could enjoy and remember his time with Kagome, not drink through it and end up passed out in her lap. That would never bring him happiness, which, as he reminded himself with a sigh, was the point. It certainly would take him a while to get used to thinking that way.

“Of course I don't,” he told her sternly, after nearly a full minute of odd, silent emotions playing across his face. “It's just… going to be harder than I thought it would.”

With ill-concealed relief, Kagome smiled brightly at him and scooted closer on the couch, placing her hand over his. “Inu-Yasha, you do know that I don't expect you to just quit drinking immediately, right? If you will agree to it, my plan is made to help you achieve your goal—I'm not trying to set you up to fail. I hope you know that.”

Staring down at his lap, he nodded mutely. Slowly, he turned his hand over and gently squeezed her fingers in reassurance. In return, Kagome leaned against him and rested her head on his shoulder. Despite his misgivings for the day, Inu-Yasha couldn't help but allow a small grin to spread across his face; glancing down at her, he let out a soft sigh and reclined comfortably back in the couch, putting an arm over her shoulders. It was closer than they usually were, at least when he was sober, but for once, he wasn't embarrassed at all.

Now that they were settled, he turned his attention to the event on the news channel, growing a little curious as to the commotion that had jarred him from his miserable rest. Staring at the screen, he watched dully as a familiar face strode across a decorated stage in front of an enormous crowd, smirking as he waved.

Muso… Inu-Yasha thought bitterly, reminded of the fact that the dreadful man was now the mayor-elect. Actually, as he watched a little longer, he realized this was the ceremony for the mayor's trade-off, for the soon-to-be former mayor was awaiting Muso at a podium in the center of the stage. Watching them exchange a firm handshake, he couldn't help but feel a twinge of sadness; it wasn't as though he held any special fondness for the mayor, but it was odd to watch the man who had pulled the city up off its knees, the man who had given so much of himself to bring the city back to life after Naraku's ravaging, turning in his post and leaving the political world. Worse yet, he was forced to leave the city in the hands of a man who, in Inu-Yasha's opinion, reeked of deceit, lies and corruption. It was certainly not an ideal situation.

With the events on the television depressing him almost as much as his life, he decided to make conversation rather than listen to announcers spouting out the goings-on in overly excited tones. “So…” he drawled slowly. “What's this plan of yours?”

“Hm?” Kagome, who had been quite absorbed in the ceremony, blinked in surprise at the sudden sound and shifted so she could look up at him.

“You said you had a plan for me and my drinkin', so what is it? I think I should know, if I'm the one who's gonna be quitting.”

“Oh! Of course.” Sitting up and pulling away from him, a bit to his disappointment, she flipped the television off so she could focus entirely on the conversation. For a moment, she remained silent, studying him carefully. “I'm going to preface this,” she began, “by saying that this is not going to be easy. You will feel withdrawal. You will feel shaky, you will feel sick, and you will have cravings. You will have highs and lows; you will have days that will be a breeze and days that will be excruciating. And, once sobriety is achieved, you will never be able to drink again. Not a shot, not a beer, not a glass of wine. Any of those could result in a relapse, and the journey back would be infinitely harder the second time around.”

Watching him as his bored expression was replaced by one of worry, she smiled gently at him and once again grasped his hand in her own. “You also...” she went on, “will have me right here, day in and day out. I am not only here to offer your unceasing support, but to remind you of the reason you wanted to quit drinking in the first place. I'm not going to leave you high and dry, Inu-Yasha.”

Shifting his gaze down to his lap, he mumbled dully, “Not quite dry…”

Kagome gave his hand a firm squeeze, forcing him to look her in the eye. “Inu-Yasha, look. I'm telling you this only because I want you to know exactly what you're getting into. But I also need to tell you that the reward is going to be far greater than anything alcohol has ever given you. Do you understand?”

For a moment, he remained silent, staring unblinking at her as thoughts ran through his mind. He thought about what alcohol had given him over the years—his sanity, for one thing. He surely wouldn't have survived the combination of guilt that consumed him during the day and the nightmares that plagued him at night without the aid of his precious, mind-numbing substance. It was because of whiskey that his memories from `that day' were no longer quite so vivid and jarring whenever his thoughts wandered back to that time, and it was also that drink that distracted him when his attention stayed there too long. Whiskey had him wrapped in a warm, safe cocoon, protected from the world, and yet shielded from himself. It was difficult to consider stepping out of that sanctuary, but if an alcohol-free life was everything Kagome said it was, then he had everything to gain.

Swallowing hard, he nodded once in response to her question. “I understand. I want to do this, Kagome. I don't care how hard it's going to be.”

At his answer, Kagome smiled proudly at him, looking quite pleased. “All right then.” She got up and went over to the armchair where her bag sat, tugging out a familiar notebook and pen before joining him once again on the couch. A warm feeling blossomed in his chest when he saw those simple kittens playing on the cover, and he pulled his new blanket up higher on his lap, holding back a tiny grin as he thought about how wonderful Christmas had been this year. However, Kagome had quickly flipped to a right page and started to speak before he had much of a chance to ponder it.

“Okay. In order to successfully get you off the drink, we need to wean you from it. So, to begin I am going to start you with two full glasses of whiskey a day, which you can only drink after six o' clock. After a couple weeks, we'll decrease that amount to a glass and a half, and so on and so forth, allowing your body to get used to the change before we lessen the amount again.” She glanced up from her notebook and noticed that his grip on the blanket was like a vice, and he didn't appear to be too settled by her statements. “Inu-Yasha? What's wrong?”

He took a deep breath and shook his head, leaning back into the couch and trying to relax his muscles that had suddenly stiffened as she read her drinking plan. “N-nothing. I just… Well… Only two?”

Kagome smiled gently; she had assumed he would have some issues with her plan, so this was met with a lack of surprise. “You needn't be so concerned. I'm talking about two, eight-ounce glasses—that's almost half a bottle. That's about as much as I can give you without you actually getting drunk, which is precisely what we don't want.”

Inu-Yasha nodded mutely, but his fears still didn't seem to be relived. Noticing this, Kagome remained silent, watching him carefully until he finally spoke again. “I don't… I don't think I'll be able to do that, though,” he finally said, keeping his gaze glued to his lap. “Stopping at just two, I mean. It's just, it's become a habit for me to pour another glass every time I empty one, and I don't know if I will be able to stop after two.”

“Which is exactly why I will be the one controlling that,” she replied. “You won't have to worry about it. I want to try and remove as much temptation from you as possible to make things easier, and this is one way to do that.”

“And are there other ways?” he asked, looking a little relieved to hear that the pressure was taken off him. He had been doubting his own self-control, and would much rather have Kagome take care of that for him—he knew he could trust her more than himself, at the very least.

“Other ways to remove temptation? Well…” For once, Kagome looked a little concerned about something. Glancing cautiously at him, she slipped her fingers between the front cover and the first page of her notebook and slowly pulled out a long, thin strip of paper covered with a mass of squiggly black lines. When Inu-Yasha caught sight of it, he snorted and looked away.

“Those things don't work on me,” he growled, crossing his arms. “Miroku should have told you that when he gave it to you.”

“Miroku did tell me that. However, I made this one. It should work on you. Please, try it.”

Rolling his eyes, he carefully reached out and placed his fingertips on the sutra, and he was met immediately with a monstrous crackling sound, followed by a loud pop and a flash of light. Inu-Yasha quickly snatched his slightly singed fingers away, looking rather surprised at the sutra's potency.

Kagome told him in a very apologetic tone, “If you want, and only if you want, I can put this on the door of your liquor cabinet. That way, should temptation strike, you wouldn't be able to get to it. But Inu-Yasha, I won't do this without your consent.”

As he stared thoughtfully at his fingers, which were already starting to heal, he murmured, “Do it. I'm not gonna take any chances on failing with this.”

Her smile spreading into a full grin, Kagome climbed off the couch, tugging at his hand until he got up and followed her into the kitchen, regretfully leaving his new blanket on the couch. “All right, Inu-Yasha, are you absolutely certain you want to do this?” She released his hand and went over to the liquor cabinet, raising the sutra just above the slick wood surface. Looking back at the demon, who was standing by the table looking daunted, but determined, she waited until he nodded hesitantly at her before slapping the paper down.

As the sutra crackled for a moment before quieting, Kagome said softly, “And so begins the first day of your new life.” She turned to face him, watching as the color slowly drained from his cheeks and an odd set of emotions played across his face. There was hatred, aimed at himself for being so frightened or at her for taking away his sole comfort, she was uncertain; fear, no doubt for what the future held in store for him; sadness, for what she reasoned probably felt like losing a friend; and, what showed most prominently in his eyes, a fierce determination to face this new challenge and succeed.

However, this surge of emotion seemed to be quite a lot for him to handle at once, for he swayed slightly and gripped the side of the table. Kagome was by him in a moment, enveloping him in a hug and giving him stability so he wouldn't fall. Immediately, he returned her embrace, resting his chin on her shoulder and taking deep breaths to calm his nerves.

For several moments, they stood there in silence, taking comfort from the other's touch. Kagome could feel Inu-Yasha trembling slightly, and she tightened her embrace, hoping that he might accept the strength she was offering. “I'm so proud of you, Inu-Yasha,” she murmured into his shoulder. “This is amazing, what you're doing, and I couldn't be more proud. I'll be honest; I have no idea how hard this must be for you, but I just want you to know that I can tell how hard you're trying, and… Well, you need to know how important this is.”

Silence met her statement, until at last a small, soft voice whispered into her ear, “Thank you.”

After a while longer in each other's arms, Kagome finally pulled away, feeling that Inu-Yasha had composed himself enough to stand up on his own. Taking a step back, she studied his face carefully, frowning at what she saw. He wasn't happy, that much was certain; it was obvious he was still having second thoughts about his decision, and, even with her encouragement, fear still held a firm grip on him.

“All right, Inu-Yasha,” she said suddenly, her voice strong enough that it made him start at the sudden sound. “It's time to get the day started. Go get dressed, and I will meet you at the front door in five minutes. Got it?”

“I-I…” He stared blankly after her as she strode toward the doorway, thrown off by her demeanor.

Whipping back around, she said sharply, “Now! Come on!” and he quickly ducked out of the kitchen to do as she said.

By the time he emerged from his bedroom, fully dressed and still thoroughly confused, Kagome was waiting for him by the door, fully clad in her winter outerwear. “You ready?” she asked, tugging her last mitten on as he approached.

“Ready for what?” he grunted, following her as she turned around and exited the apartment. Now that his initial surprise was over, irritation was starting to set in. He wasn't in the mood for guessing games or spontaneous activities. He still hadn't quite gotten over the shock of seeing his liquor cabinet barred from him, and the sight had shaken him more than he thought it would.

Merely smiling at him in reply over her shoulder, Kagome led the way up the stairs, climbing higher in the apartment building with Inu-Yasha grudgingly following behind, grumbling under his breath. The grumbling continued up the last three levels of the building, until finally Kagome opened the door to the roof and stepped outside, letting out a soft shriek at the frigid wind that suddenly whipped around them.

“S-so c-cold,” she said, turning to grin at Inu-Yasha with chattering teeth.

“Why the hell are we up here, then?”

“Because,” she replied, crossing her arms to brace herself against the bitter air. “You need to get out of the apartment for a while. Plus, you haven't been on a run in a few days, so I thought now would be a good time.”

Inu-Yasha bit back a grimace at the comment—the idea did not sound good to him. He hadn't slept in two days; he was already starting to feel withdrawal from his drink; and his energy level was very low. A fast-paced run over the city rooftops in twenty-degree weather was not a pastime he wished to participate in. However, he kept his mouth shut. He wanted to show Kagome that he could handle whatever she threw his way, whether he actually wanted to do it.

“Fine. Why are you up here, though? I can climb to the roof unattended, you know.”

“Well… I thought you might take me with you.”

He stared blankly at her for a moment. “Excuse me?”

She swatted playfully at his arm, despite the fact that her fingers were going numb. “Don't sound so surprised. Is it that odd that I want to spend time with you?”

His bluster gave way at her last statement. “You want to spend time with me?”

“But of course! And, since you always seemed to enjoy your runs so much, I thought you might not object to the idea of carrying me for one. Will you be able to do that?”

At this, Inu-Yasha scowled and crossed his arms, looking quite annoyed. “Feh. `Course I can. I'm no weakling.” Turning around, he crouched down and held his hands behind his back, clearly waiting for her. “Get on. And brace yourself, `cause it's gonna be cold.”

Kagome hesitated before climbing onto his back. In reality, despite her insistence on joining him, she was quite nervous about the whole thing. Firstly, she was terrified of heights. Secondly, the wind and the air where so chilling that she was worried she might be in danger of frostbite. And thirdly, she knew Inu-Yasha was not feeling one hundred percent, and she didn't want to push him too hard.

However, despite her misgivings, she did know that Inu-Yasha needed to be around company, and be distracted from thoughts of his precious whiskey, locked away and beyond his grasp. If left to his own devices, he would most likely drive himself insane and make the process of quitting that much harder by thinking only about how badly he wanted to drink; thus, keeping his mind and body occupied with physical activity would ease the tension building up, and hopefully, it would help him make it through the day.

“Okay,” she said with a slight waver in her voice. “I'm all settled. Ready whenever you are.”

“All right,” he grunted, slowly standing up. “Brace yourself.” And then, he was off.

The sensation was nothing like she had ever felt before. Light as a feather she felt as Inu-Yasha pattered across rooftops and leapt over streets, moving faster than she had ever thought imaginable. His leaps and bounds appeared to be effortless, even with her extra burden, and she could feel the incredibly strength in the body beneath her, keeping every movement in control while giving the appearance of ease as he glided down the sloped roof of a home.

Still terrified of the height, she dared to peek over his shoulder, then let loose with a bloodcurdling shriek as Inu-Yasha slid right off the edge of the roof, plummeting towards the ground at an incredible speed. In the split second they had before they were to crash into the trash-strewn alleyway between the home and the next building, Kagome buried her face in his hair, unable to watch their untimely demise, screaming the whole while.

However, rather than hearing the grinding crunch of bone and flesh slamming into asphalt, the harsh clatter of metal rang through the alley, and soon they were moving upwards again. Now unable to speak, for she was so frightened, she peeked over his shoulder once again and saw that he had used an old recycling bin as a jumping platform, propelling himself up to the roof of the office building at an amazing speed. With her heart in her throat and thumping a furious beat at what she thought had been a near-death experience, she stole a glance at what little of Inu-Yasha's face she could see. Much to her exasperation, he had a toothy smirk plastered across his cheeks. In fact, she was fairly certain he was laughing at her, but the wind stole the sound from his lips before she could catch any of it.

Although miffed by his amusement at her sheer terror, she couldn't help but feel a little better to see him smile; it was a relief to know that he was still able to laugh, given his current situation. She found this to be quite encouraging.

Now that his moment of fun was over, Inu-Yasha seemed to make a steadier pace, keeping the leaps and bounds much smoother as he made his way across the city. The wind, while still bitterly cold, no longer nipped quite as hard at her as she grew used to the sensation, and she now took more comfort from the warmth Inu-Yasha's body offered her. Nuzzling deeper into her thick scarf, she rested her cheek against his warm shoulder and settled more comfortably against him to enjoy the ride.

For a while, it was the most enjoyable time she could remember spending with him. She felt as though she was in a dreamland, floating among the grey, wintry clouds as they rushed by. Even with the amazing speed they were moving at, she felt lulled by his ceaseless, repetitive pace, easing her misgivings at going for the run in the first place. She felt very peaceful, with the only sound being the wind as it rushed by—any other noise was whisked away as they hurtled past.

However, after several minutes of this relaxing ride, Kagome started to realize that Inu-Yasha was slowing down, and as he did, the spell of quiet and solitude broke. She could hear him starting to breathe heavily from exertion, the sounds of cars honking in the streets below drifted up to them, and the general hustle and bustle of the city began to make itself known. Sighing a little in unhappiness, for she had been thoroughly enjoying the experience, she sat up a little and peered around, trying to decipher where they were.

It didn't take too long to figure it out—a massive cheer drew her attention to the streets below, and she realized that they were quite close to the Crater, where the mayoral induction ceremony was taking place. Growing quite curious as to the proceedings, for she had only caught a few minutes of the ceremony that morning on TV, she tapped Inu-Yasha on the shoulder to gain his attention.

“Stop on a roof nearby,” she said, speaking directly into his ear to be heard above the crowd's commotion. “I'd like to listen in on the ceremony for a while, if that's all right.”

With a silent nod, Inu-Yasha made one final leap and slid to a halt on top of a ten-story office building, plenty close enough to the stage to hear without them being spotted. Once he stopped moving, he carefully set Kagome on the roof, then bent over and put his hands on his knees, wheezing harshly as he tried to catch his breath.

“Inu-Yasha?” she asked, resting a hand on his back while trying to hold back a shiver; without his body heat to warm her, she now felt twice as cold as she did before the run even began. “Are you all right?” She didn't like the sound of his breathing—there was an audible whistle to it as he inhaled, which worried her a little.

“Fuh…fine…” he gasped, waving her away. It took him a few more deep breaths to be able to give her a proper answer. “Just… haven't worked quite… that hard in a long time.” He ended the statement with a throaty cough, the sound rasping deep in his chest.

Kagome frowned at the noise. “Are you sure? That doesn't sound so good.”

He shook his head, scowling in annoyance. “It's just the cold air, is all. I'm fine. Now, do you wanna watch this damn thing or not?” With one last choke, he brushed past her to the edge of the roof, flopping down to view the scene below.

Slowly, Kagome joined him, still a little concerned. While he may believe that it was the cold air that was making him cough so, she was fairly certain that it was a smoker's cough, no doubt brought on by the exertion he just put his tar-filled lungs through. However, she decided not to heap yet another addiction he needed to rid himself of on him today; that would just be plain cruel. It could wait for another time. Making a mental note not to let himself push too hard on the way home, she carefully scooted closer to him, hoping he wouldn't mind the proximity as she took in some of his warmth.

Now that they were settled, Kagome could focus her attention on the ceremony below. There was a massive crowd gathered around the stage; apparently there was a record turnout this year, for it seemed that Mayor Muso had garnered enormous support during his candidacy. The loud cheer she had heard a few moments prior must have been when he had stepped up to the podium to give his mayoral address, because he had begun to speak while she was fussing over Inu-Yasha. She quickly started to focus, having to strain a little to pick up his words before the wind carried them away.

“…time to make a difference! It is time to change this city's structure! How can we grow if we do not change?”

This was met with a roar of approval from the crowd, which Kagome found odd. Human beings tended to go against change, rather than vote for it, but she supposed she shouldn't be too surprised. Muso had an incredible charisma about him that allowed him to convince people to dive headfirst into a raging volcano should he ask them to.

“You may ask, what sort of change do we need? What sort of change can one man accomplish? I tell you, fellow citizens, I am an honest man, and I do not make promises that I cannot keep. And what did I promise you during my campaign?”

“Unity under peace!!” the crowd roared in reply.

“Precisely! Unity under peace! A unity which we cannot attain without making drastic changes! How so? How do I intend to join our two races in peace and harmony? An excellent question, but one that I find the answer to be quite obvious.” Muso paused for effect, pulling the microphone out of its stand on the podium so he could pace the stage with it.

“We have always discussed our differences between these two races with violence and anger. Violence and anger do not nurture peace and unity, which we know all too well. In order to find unity between humans and the demons living in this beautiful city, we must forego all attacks! We must be rid of our weapons against the demons, and we must prove to them that we do not intend to harbor hatred! How can we extend our right hand in fellowship when our left is resting on our gun? I know, my friends, this may sound radical, but it is change! A change we desperately need! Who will follow me in my quest to bridge the gap between our two races?”

Once again, earsplitting approval exploded from the onlookers, followed by thunderous applause. Kagome could hardly believe her ears. Should any other politician have said Muso's exact words, they would have been met with slander and ridicule. But Mayor Muso seemed to have a firm grip on his followers, and the implications of the power he already held frightened her. She could only imagine all that he could do with as much support as he already had. It was clear that the Order needed to keep on this man's good side, or things could take a turn for the worse.

“Kagome,” came Inu-Yasha's soft voice, no longer burdened with heavy breathing now that he had regained composure after his run. “Can we leave now? I've had enough of this.”

Blinking, for she realized she had been quite absorbed in the proceedings, she turned to him and noticed that he was not looking as well as she would have liked. His cheeks were a little pale, and his hands were beginning to tremble in his lap, a sign that weakness in his muscles was soon to come. Wanting to get home before that happened, Kagome nodded and quickly climbed to her feet. “Of course.”

Relieved to hear her reply, Inu-Yasha once again crouched so she could clamber onto his back, and in mere seconds they were off. While it was still enjoyable to cling to his warm back and allow the frigid wind to toy with her hair, a few concerns disrupted the ride this time around. She could tell right away that his pace was nowhere near as fast as the first trip around, but the ride was also a bit rougher. She was jolted a little every time he landed on a rooftop, and it took him just a second longer to recover from the landing before he was off again.

As she noticed this, she couldn't help but sigh softly. She knew that the easy part of the day was now long gone. Now the task of keeping him comfortable as withdrawal settled in was about to begin, and she knew it was going to be a difficult struggle for the both of them.

oOoOoOoOo

Leaning forward to snub out the tiny stub of his latest cigarette, he immediately followed the action by grabbing his rapidly emptying pack and pulling out the next one, already halfway through his second pack of the day. Once he was settled back into the couch, he snagged his lighter from his shirt pocket and flicked it into life, trying to hold his hands steady enough to get the tip alight. The task had grown increasingly difficult as the day progressed, but he was desperate enough for the paltry distraction the fag offered him that he doggedly kept at it.

The day had been challenging, to say the least. Once they had returned from the run, which had drained what little energy he had started the morning off with, she fixed breakfast, and then they cleaned the kitchen together. After that, when he had thought he might finally have a moment to sit and rest on the couch, Kagome asked him to join her on her errands. He had been about to deny her request, when she mentioned that she needed to get groceries, and getting them up to the seventh floor was quite the challenge. The guilt he felt at the comment, for all the times she had needed help with groceries he had been dead drunk or already unconscious, forced him to change his tune and accompany her out into the city.

Though the store was nearly empty due to the ceremony at the Crater, he had still kept his hat crammed over his ears and his sunglasses on his nose as they wandered through the aisles. The trip was practically torture. Not only was withdrawal causing the strength to seep out of his limbs like a slow leak, but also the time seemed to be interminable. Kagome meandered slowly down each aisle, making little comments about every odd food item she could find and trying her best to engage him in conversation. In the beginning, he attempted to at least be civil and give her a two or three word reply, but when she saw that as an invitation to stand and talk for at least five minutes, he learned quickly to leave his answers at a noncommittal grunt.

The meager amount of patience he had at the start of their trip had dwindled rapidly during this process, and by the time they reached the checkout, he was feeling weak, lightheaded and was on the verge of leaving Kagome behind just so he could go home. However, just as he was considering walking out the door, she turned to him and said simply, “Well, I'm sorry this was boring, but at least we managed to kill a couple hours of the day, right?”

His irritation with her vanished at the statement. She had brought him along and had strolled down every aisle just so they could pass as much time as possible, bringing the hour of his relief ever closer. Surprised, and feeling a bit guilty for being such a grump, he carried all the bags home without a fuss, and even helped her put them away.

However, the day spiraled downward after that. Too exhausted to do anything, for his sleepless night was catching up with him, he had flopped down on the couch to relax. Kagome assumed he was trying to nap, so she left him alone. With her presence missing from the room, he was definitely unable to keep his mind off the fact that his hands were now shaking like leaves and his craving for several glasses of whiskey was raging to make itself known. In a weak attempt to combat the craving, he had taken up chain-smoking for the afternoon; he knew it kept Kagome from ever joining him in the living room, but the effects of the cigarettes took the tiniest edge off his desire, and he wanted only to make it until six o' clock.

Kagome fixed them dinner around five o' clock, but Inu-Yasha found he was unable to eat much. A headache plagued him, and nausea from too many cigarettes made the food unappealing. On top of that, his hands were shaking badly enough that food would drop off his fork before he could take a bite. She watched him like a hawk as he picked at his meal, appearing quite worried by his actions.

Finally, after half an hour of pushing food around his plate, he left the table, giving her a grunt of appreciation before reclaiming his seat on the couch. Glancing up at the digital clock that resided on top of his television set, he let out a fierce grimace when he saw the time and he reached for his cigarettes once more, picking up where he had left off before the meal.

He growled low around the newest cigarette, keeping his bloodshot eyes trained on the clock, urging the numbers to switch faster. It was five minutes until six, and he could barely contain himself as he sat with his arms crossed to keep his shaking under control. Desire was tugging him in every direction, his body begging him to satiate its needs with that precious nectar that was no longer within his reach. All of his senses were heightened in the intensity of his emotion: The smoke from his cigarette burned his in his nose, and the taste of it nearly choked him; his skin was hot and dry to the touch; the red lights from his digital clock glowed a neon red in his vision; and every sound Kagome made while cleaning up dinner echoed hollowly in his ears. However, there was one sound that jolted him from his fit, making him jerk in surprise—the sound of a cabinet door opening.

Barely giving himself the chance to jam his cigarette into the overflowing ashtray, he was on his feet in a moment and barreling into the kitchen, skidding to a halt right behind Kagome. She nearly dropped the plate she had been in the middle of drying at his sudden appearance.

“I-Inu-Yasha?” she said slowly, trying to recover from her surprise to see the ill demon staring wild-eyed at her.

“Where is it?” he demanded hoarsely, his golden orbs flicking to and fro as he searched for his drink of choice.

“Where is what?” Kagome made an attempt to catch up with him, but she had been lost in her own little world while washing dishes and was having a difficult time coming back out of it.

“My whiskey. Where is it? I heard you open a cabinet door. Where's my drink?”

“Oh… I'm sorry, Inu-Yasha, I was just putting the dishes away. That's all you heard.”

A grimace coming over his features, he switched his intense gaze over to the clock on the microwave. “It's six now. I want it. Now.”

Kagome knew better than to test his patience, and neither did she want to. She hated to see him so ill and so desperate; watching him all day had been nearly as painful as what he was going through. She had wanted, more times than she could count that day, to tear the sutra off the cabinet so he could finally ease his trembling limbs and soothe his body's discomfort, but she knew she couldn't. If he was so dead-set in his decision to quit, then she had to be just as firm in carrying her plan out. Weakness from either side would end in disaster.

“Of course, Inu-Yasha. Here.” Quickly making her way to the liquor cabinet, she pulled the door open and removed the bottle tucked inside. Bringing down a tumbler as well, she twisted the cap off and barely managed to pour the full glass before it was gone, clenched in Inu-Yasha's fist and crammed against his lips. He downed three enormous gulps before Kagome managed to tug his arm down, worried that he may choke.

“Inu-Yasha, please, slow down!” she said sternly as he gasped for breath, swallowing hard. “Please. It's not good to guzzle your whiskey like that. Sip it slowly—give it a chance to actually hit your bloodstream before you have any more. It will make your two glasses last longer if you do it that way.”

Making no sign that he had heard her, he groped for a chair and eased himself down, taking another long swallow as he did so. Kagome, realizing how shaken he looked, decided to give him a few minutes to recover from the ordeal as she finished cleaning the kitchen.

For a little while, the only sounds in the kitchen were Inu-Yasha labored breathing, his glass being set down on the table after he took a drink, and the quiet clattering of dishes as Kagome dried them and put them away. However, once the kitchen was clean and everything was put away, she finally joined him, watching him silently. He didn't meet her gaze, but instead, keeping his stared fixed on his lap, he pushed his empty glass toward her.

After refilling it for the second and last time that evening, she set it down in front of him, and immediately his hand snaked out to grasp it. However, rather than gulping it down as he did the first, he kept still, not making a move.

“Inu-Yasha?” Kagome asked him softly. “Are you all right?”

“This… this isn't right,” he finally murmured after a moment. “It shouldn't be like this.”

Frowning, she couldn't follow what he was saying. “I'm sorry, Inu-Yasha, I don't understand. What do you mean?”

“I shouldn't be like this,” he tried to explain, still not meeting her eye. “I'm tryin' to quit. I don't want to drink anymore. But dammit… It tastes so damn good.” As though to prove his point, he took the first swallow from his second glass, unable to hold back any longer.

Kagome let out a quiet chuckle at the comment and reached out to rest her hand over his, relieved to feel that it wasn't trembling near as much as just a few minutes earlier. “Inu-Yasha, you need to understand that this isn't something that will be cured in just a couple days. I don't expect you to not want any alcohol at all. Your body won't allow that, at least for a while.”

“No, Kagome. You don't get it,” he snapped, shaking his head and tugging his hand away from hers. “I didn't just want whiskey. I needed it. I had to have it. And dammit, I still do. This just isn't right.”

Smiling even more broadly, she stood up and walked around his chair, wrapping an arm around his shoulders and giving him a gentle hug. “I know that,” she informed him, resting her chin on his shoulder. “And it's fine. It's how is supposed to be right now. You've done amazingly well for your first day, do you know that?”

Slowly, he turned his head to look at her, meeting her gaze for the first time. “Really?” he asked softly, looking as though he hardly dared to trust her.

“Really.”

Debating silently for a moment, he finally sighed and carefully leaned against her, reveling at her touch. This was the first time all day that he felt relaxed enough to enjoy her company, and, while he knew it was only due to the drink, he could honestly say that he felt better. Staring at the glass still held in an iron grip in his hand, he knew that he still had a long way to go before his dependency would finally break. However, with Kagome here behind him… A tiny smile broke his features.

Maybe I really can do this…

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Thank you so much for reading. Please, leave a review and let me know what you think.

A/N: Just to let you know, I will be leaving for a mission trip in West Virginia in a couple days, and will be gone for an entire week. As I will be out in the boonies and surrounded by mountains, there will be no computers, let alone internet access, for me to use. So please, don't expect an update for at least one week, and more likely two, as I doubt I will even be able to hand-write anything during the trip. Thank you for being patient. ^__^