InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Half Souls ❯ Where I Belong ( Chapter 6 )

Half Souls

Chapter 6 - Where I Belong

Yasashii the Aggressive Kitsune

Standard Boring Disclaimer: Blah. I'm a poor single white female. Leave me with my fantasies of characters that aren't mine.

Note: This is the FINAL chapter. If I feel particularly moved, I may write an epilogue. Don't count on it. I finally got up and wrote this last chapter after the one I thought was the last chapter because it felt a little too open ended for my taste. I'm doing groundwork for another IY fic, probably a Miroku/Sango romantic comedy. I hope you enjoy the conclusion of Half Souls, I certainly enjoyed writing it.

~Yasashii ^_^v

~*~*~

The phone stubbornly rang for the tenth time as Kagome frantically searched for its whereabouts. She flung pillows, clothes and couch cushions. She KNEW it was Ren calling to tell her that he was on his way over, but she wasn't even decently dressed. What's more, she couldn't find the blasted phone to tell him that!

Ring........Ring..........Ring........

"If I were a phone, where would I beeee..." Running around the room in a short skirt and a bra while imagining to be a telephone wasn't exactly dignified, but Kagome had priorities. She finally tracked the elusive device to its source and grabbed it from the refrigerator. How had it ended up there? Fumbling with it for a few moments, Kagome tried to collect herself and nervously placed it against her ear. "Hello?"

A warm and familiar voice greeted her, "Kagome, what in the seven hells have you been doing over there? I've been calling for over fifteen minutes!"

"There are eight hells and I was busy."

"Busy with what? Don't tell me you have a milkman stashed in your closet."

She grinned. Kagome always loved the casual banter they shared. "Reeeen, would you be jealous if I did?"

"If you do, he better not be there when I pick you up."

"Aww, and George was looking forward to tagging along. Where are we going, anyway?"

"You'll find out when we get there, woman! I don't want to spoil the surprise."

"Fine," she pouted, "but you'll have to give me an extra twenty minutes or so. I have to usher the milkman home."

He laughed and assented to her request, but Kagome thought she had detected an undertone of jealous venom in his voice. "I'll be by around seven o'clock," and then she heard the disconnecting click.

Kagome hung up the phone and looked at it as if she were studying who had been on the other end. Ahsayuni Ren. He was very charming, in his own quirky way. He was callous, rude and possessive with a temper to rival hers just flaring under the surface. Then there were his softer moments when he would talk to her and hold her. Flash a smile that was meant only for her. He was one of those rare men who actually listened to what she had to say. As Kagome rummaged through piles of clothing to find a nice shirt to wear, she briefly pondered whether or not Ren could be Inuyasha. She shook her head for thinking such foolish things. Ren was Ren, and that should be good enough for her. Then a realization struck her as she was slipping on her shoes.......it wasn't. For some reason, it wasn't good enough. She needed to know. Were Ren's gentle smiles and tender kisses the ones Inuyasha would have given her if they had been...more? Kagome stood tall and proud as she surveyed her reflection in the mirror. She would know tonight.

~*~*~

Two bloodstained claws held up a sparkling jewel as a pair of golden eyes examined it carefully. The jewel glowed with an inner light, reveling in its wholeness. After turning it this way and that, the claws placed the jewel carefully inside a red haori. He had worked so hard to complete his mission, and he was puzzled to find that he was still not satisfied. Naraku was dead by his own hands, whose blood his claws had bathed in. Shippou found a home with Miroku and Sango, who recently settled down together. Sesshoumaru had secured his lands. Kikyou's soul was set free. He had achieved all of this, but something still ate away at him, making him feel empty.

He turned and stared into the water, and a hanyou by the name of Inuyasha stared back at him. The hanyou bent down and cleansed his hands as best he could and he felt ashamed that he could not even smirk over his victory. Somewhere deep within himself, he knew it was because he had no one to share it with. Though Inuyasha had done a noble deed in restoring the Shikon no Tama, he was still not accepted among demons or humans. His human heart acknowledged then, a longing to see a girl from another time, but his foolish demon's pride kept him from fleeing to her. Golden eyes stung with unshed tears as Inuyasha stared dismally at his reflection. Someone like her deserved so much better than a hanyou. She deserved someone.....human.

~*~*~

Ren looked next to him to admire Kagome's profile as he drove along the busy city streets. She seemed to be staring at the scenery, but he knew her thoughts were directed elsewhere. She thought a lot lately, it almost made him wonder where it was her mind wandered off to. "Kagome."

She blinked as if coming out of a trance and directed her gaze towards him, "Yes?"

"Is there something wrong?"

She looked puzzled for a moment before smiling and shaking her head, "No, no. I was just ....thinking."

He cocked an eyebrow at her but said nothing, turning his attention back to the road. He knew something was bothering her, but if she wanted to keep it to herself, that was fine by him. It's not like she had to confide in him all the time, even after four months. Ren liked the silence better than useless chitchat anyway. Her silence and apprehension didn't bother him. Nope, not one bit.... His eyebrows furrowed together as his thoughts ran laps in his head.

"...Ren?"

Dark amber orbs blinked and came to rest on Kagome, her hands fidgeting nervously in her lap. "Mm?"

She seemed to be fighting for the right words before looking down at her lap, "Do.....do you know anything about the Shikon no Tama?"

"What?" Ren frowned in confusion.

Smiling, she said softly, "Never mind. It was silly."

He didn't seem to hear her as he thought carefully. "Once," he whispered, "Once I heard of a jewel by that name. Around it revolved the story of a powerful demon and the human he fell in love with."

Kagome squealed in surprise and held onto the door as the car suddenly swerved and switched direction. "Ren, what are you doing?! Where are we going?!"

"I was going to take you to a fancy dinner. Now we're going to my place instead."

"Whyyyy?" Kagome asked, flustered.

Ren kept his eyes resolutely on the road. "To answer a question."

~*~*~

"Kagome."

He had not uttered that name in such a long time. It almost felt foreign on his lips and his heart constricted at the sound of it.

Inuyasha again pondered the scroll and ink before him. His mother had taught him his basic writing when he was just a whelp, but he didn't know if he would remember it all. He didn't even know if he wanted to write on the scroll. He cast a glance at where the Shikon no Tama was safely hidden and realized that it didn't matter if he wanted to write. He had to. He couldn't be forgotten, and neither could the Jewel, or Sango or Miroku or Kikyou or anyone else. He would give it to his brother, and he would pass it down until one day his incarnation would read it. Maybe it could help him find Kagome.

The hanyou carefully picked up the brush and set to work, taking pains to write everything plainly and clear as could be:

"This is the story of a jewel named the Shikon no Tama, a powerful demon who protected it, and the human woman he fell in love with..."

~*~*~

Ren's eyes roved over the scroll again as he paced back and forth. "I know it's here somewhere...the writing is pretty hard to read, like it was written by a third grader."

"Let me see," Kagome gently demanded. Her fingers reached out and gingerly touched the ancient scroll. She was upset when Ren walked past her, oblivious to her command. Her temper quickly vanished when she saw him flatten it down on the table and went to sit next to him. The writing came into view and Kagome almost laughed at its crudeness.

Ren grinned at her. "Told you it was hard to read."

"I grew up on a shrine. Believe me, I've read worse. Move over." He obliged, and she started from the beginning...

"This is the story of a jewel named the Shikon no Tama, a powerful demon who protected it, and the human woman he fell in love with. The demon, better known as a hanyou, wanted to steal the Shikon no Tama to become a taiyoukai, a ruler of demons. Instead, he ended up spending time with the beautiful miko who protected it. He wanted to spend his life with her, but he was betrayed and almost killed by that same miko. He tried to steal the Tama, but he was caught and sealed by the miko named Kikyou, who died soon after the fight.

"Fifty years later, the hanyou was released from his prison by a human girl. The hanyou was angry and wanted revenge for Kikyou's betrayal. He had loved her. The human girl looked like the miko, so he attacked her. She put a spell on him that chained him to her, which he was not happy about. The girl turned out to be the incarnation of Kikyou from the future city of Tokyo, and was put in charge of the Shikon no Tama."

"Skip to the last part," Ren said suddenly.

Kagome wasn't sure she wanted to read it anymore, much less read the end of it. "Why?"

"Because I think the answer is there."

"To what?"

"Read it."

With a heavy sigh, Kagome went to the last two paragraphs...

"One day, the hanyou realized that he didn't love Kikyou as he once thought. The girl was his anchor, his hope, and she had his heart. He selfishly hid his feelings from her because he was afraid of loving anyone and he didn't want to make her a target for other demons. So he stole the Jewel shards from the girl and trapped her in her own time forever.

"The Shikon no Tama was restored and stayed in the demon's care until his final day. On that day, he made a wish on the Jewel to one day find the girl again as a human so they could be happy."

Kagome's voice caught in her throat as she stared at the scroll. Inuyasha had written this for her. Tears filled her eyes as she realized that Ren HAD to be him. She felt a hand on her shoulder and looked over to Ren, a look of concern etched on his face.

"Are you okay?" Ren was almost knocked out of his chair as Kagome suddenly threw herself into his arms, clinging to him. His hand hesitantly came up to touch her silky black hair and wrapped his other arm around her comfortingly. He wasn't sure what had set her off until he saw a small scribbled note at the very bottom of the scroll...

"Whoever reads this story, find Kagome and tell her that I'm sorry."

Ren sighed and kissed the top of her head. "Is it talking about you?"

She only nodded mutely.

"We have a lot to talk about."

Kagome could only nod again and let him lead her to the couch.

~*~*~

Inuyasha carefully tied the scroll with a bit of string and sat back to admire his handiwork. The scroll ended up to be longer than he expected, but then again, a lot had happened.

Just then, a voice came from behind him, "I assume that is for Kagome-sama?"

The hanyou's ear twitched as he registered the visitor's voice. "Keh! Mind your own damn business, lecherous Houshi."

Miroku sighed and sat near the red clad dog boy. "Why can't you just go get her like you used to?"

"She's safer where she is."

"Safer, yes. But do you think she is happier?"

"Might be."

The monk turned his head to gaze into the distance thoughtfully. "I once heard that we are only truly happy when we can love. Did you love Kagome-sama?"

Inuyasha folded his arms and glared stonily at him. "Houshi...," he warned. The hanyou didn't notice Miroku's staff until he had whacked him in the back of the head with it. Inuyasha's eyes bugged out comically and his eyebrow twitched. He leapt at the monk and grabbed him by the collar of his robes, his other fist ready to send the offending lech into next week. "What the hell was that for?!"

Miroku's face maintained its serene expression, despite Inuyasha's outburst. "I was hoping to knock some sense into you. It's time you owned up to your feelings for Kagome-sama and apologize."

Inuyasha's fist tightened on his collar for a few seconds before letting go. He sat back down and folded his arms in stony silence.

"You should consider her feelings in the matter. She loves you, though I'm not really certain why. The heart is a delicate thing."

Inuyasha glared at the ground in front of him.

"Kagome-sama at least deserves an apology, don't you think?" With that said, Miroku stood and walked back in the direction he had come.

He wanted to shut out Miroku's words and dismiss him as a stupid monk who didn't seem interested in anything besides women. Glancing at the neatly tied scroll, he knew in his bones that Miroku was right. Damn him. The hanyou hated it when he was right. Inuyasha didn't know how he could apologize without looking like a total buffoon monkey....then an idea struck. He untied his story and scribbled at the very bottom in tiny lettering:

"Whoever reads this story, find Kagome and tell her that I'm sorry."

There. Now he was finished. He scooped it up into his arm and flew off to deliver his story, the Jewel ever present within his grasp until his last day.

~*~*~

Ren was certain that this would stay in his records for being the longest and most bizarre two hours and thirteen minutes of his life. He listened carefully to ever word Kagome spoke, every gesture she made. It all seemed so unreal, so fabricated. He was just a normal guy, while she... well, he knew she was amazing, but a priestess who traveled back in time?! The real kicker was that she fell in love with one of his ancestors. Somehow, that knowledge bogged him down with guilt. Her heart belonged to another. This demon guy must still be trying to find her. The lucky bastard. Ren felt jealousy wash over him in torrid green waves. It seeped into his veins and tensed all his muscles. His golden eyes burned with the intensity of it. <Of course....she'll find him soon because of his stupid fucking wish and they'll live happily ever after while I suffer alone, knowing I was my own downfall.>

Kagome paused in her rambling narrative to glance at Ren. She could only guess what he was thinking. How ludicrous the whole thing must sound! That she, at a mere fifteen, had traveled back in time to the Sengoku Jidai to fight battles with a cursed monk, a taiji-ya, a kitsune, and a hanyou. If she had not actually done it herself, she'd think herself perfectly insane. She noticed that his hands were clenched and he was glaring at some point beyond her. Did he think she was lying? Or worse, did he hate her for not telling him? She slowly reached forward and placed her hand gently atop his clenched fist. "Ren? Are you okay?"

Only one thought kept running around in his mind. <I can't lose her to some guy who lived over four hundred years ago...> His eyes focused in on Kagome, her face was so close...

Kagome stifled a squeal of surprise when Ren suddenly yanked on her wrist, enveloping her into his arms in a great bear hug. She couldn't help but feel uncannily familiar in this embrace, so she remained still against him. <So warm... just like Inuyasha.> She felt safe from everything as she felt his steady heart beat. She heard his voice as if it were far away and she inhaled deeply, his scent incredibly familiar but altogether different. Kagome almost didn't respond when he repeated himself, barely above a whisper.

"You loved him?"

Kagome closed her eyes and hoped she would give him the right answers. "Yes."

"Do you still?"

"Love him?"

"Yeah."

"I....I don't really know. I guess I do, in a way."

"I see." Ren loosened his hold on her, preparing to let go, but she only shifted closer.

"No, you don't understand."

"What don't I understand?!" he exclaimed, exasperated, "You love him, he loves you. You'll find him and run off to marry the idiot, though he may be completely different! Reincarnation does that to a person!"

"I know," she said softly, "but you still don't understand!"

Ren tried to fold his arms, but soon found it difficult with Kagome clinging to his shirt. He tried pushing on her shoulders and folding his arms over her head before settling for tossing his hands over his head in frustration. "Fine! Explain to me so I can understand better! Tell me how this could possibly be good for me, because you're acting like everything is okay! Well, let me tell you, I am NOT okay with this!"

Kagome only clung tighter to him, "Because it IS okay. It's okay because..." she licked her lips nervously, "because you're him."

Ren started to protest until the meaning of her words completely sunk in. Then he stared at her, unsure of what to say. He was pole axed. Completely floored. After minutes of deliberation, Ren said the most intelligent thing that came to mind. "Huh?"

She smiled, "YOU are him. You are the incarnation of Inuyasha. If I were to run off with anyone, it would be with you." At his dumbfounded look, she leaned up towards him and gently kissed him. For the first time since she was fifteen, Kagome felt completely at peace with herself. She didn't have to worry about a past self who wanted her dead or about collecting shards of the Shikon no Tama or about being human or demon or being from the future, past, or present. This time, everything would be right. Or at least that's how she felt until Ren pulled away from her as if she were the flame that had burned him. Kagome opened her eyes and took one look at his face. Something told her that this may be more complicated than she thought.

He didn't know what he was feeling, what he should be feeling. While a part of him would be perfectly content to accept her claim and love her forever, another part of him needed to question her. She loved his supposed former self, but did that mean she only loved him for who he used to be? Ren didn't want to be considered as "the one she settled for." Did she love HIM, Ren, and only him? Did she love him before she knew he was Inuyasha? He couldn't bear to think that she made the assumption to make him happy. And he didn't understand how he could have been a demon. Sure, some people thought he was a little strange because of his acute sense of smell, but that was a trivial matter. The skeptic in him spoke out before his heart had a chance to answer, "How do you know?"

She was momentarily taken aback by his harsh question. If she loved him, isn't that all that mattered? Kagome studied him for a moment, "Well," she began, "you have his eyes. Sometimes you act like he does. Then there's the indisputable fact of your last name."

"What's my last name have to do with the price of tea in China?"

Kagome turned and wrote his name on a pad of paper lying on the coffee table. "Ahsayuni, right? Now, if I write it backwards," she wrote beneath the name slowly, "then it spells Inuyasha."

Ren blinked and looked at Kagome's writing. <Her reasoning makes sense...> But he still didn't want to believe he was someone else. It just didn't feel right. Her last soft words barely reached his ears.

"And...you make me feel safe. Like nothing can touch me. He was my protector...." Her voice died off and it appeared as if she were looking back in time, longing for her said protector.

"So...I remind you of some stupid demon you had a crush on. Just great. Is that the only reason you're dating me? Because I'm him?"

She jerked her head around to stare disbelievingly at him as surely as if she'd been slapped. "How? H-how could you even think such a thing?" Her eyes stung with unshed tears, but she dared not let them fall and show weakness. "At first you reminded me of him, yes, but you're so much more than a glorified memory! I loved Inuyasha....he was the first guy I'd ever felt for! But Inuyasha hurt me. He left me. You have always been with me no matter what. Don't you see?" Kagome gently traced his jaw with her fingertips, "This is where I belong; with you."

Ren's eyes softened a fraction. "But you don't mind knowing that I was him."

She sighed. "No, I don't. I was curious about it for some time, but to me Ren and Inuyasha are two different people and yet the same."

Ren frowned. "I'm not sure I follow you."

"Well, Inuyasha always had trouble distinguishing me from my past self, Kikyou. When he saw me, he saw her. It was hard for me to be by his side, knowing I was silently torturing him. I tried to convince him and myself that I wasn't her. I was Kagome and nobody else. Then I realized that my soul shared something with her...and I felt like I was recycled. It took me a long time to accept the fact that I AM Kikyou. I'm also Kagome. We are two different women, but we have a shared soul. Kikyou was meant for Inuyasha as I am meant for Ren." She smiled, "Only this time, we won't be killing each other."

Ren thought over her words carefully. "So, I'm not just a copy of him?"

Kagome shook her head. "You are Ren. The fact that you share a soul with him only makes me more certain that this is right."

he slowly cracked a smile and reached out to cup her face in his hands. "Good, because I don't know what I would do without the love of my life."

"Ren..."

"I mean it," he smoothed his thumb across her cheek, "I've always felt that we were connected somehow. I don't really care about what he was to you so long as you stay with me. I love you, Kagome."

She blushed becomingly and gazed at him through watery eyes. "I already told you that this is where I belong. I love Ren. Not because you were Inuyasha, but just because you're you."

Ren grinned and pulled her close. As his lips descended down to hers for the sealing kiss, one last question lingered in his mind....<How the Hell am I going to propose to her?>

OWARI!

That's it! Half Souls is officially finished! There is no more! Don't ask for more! Please, I know it's been a long time since I posted anything, but that's partly because it took me so long to finish writing this. Give me feedback by reviewing or emailing me. I love to hear your opinions.

Next Project: "Operation: Houshi!" How hard could it possibly be to seduce a perfectly perverted monk? Sango finds out the hard way......(A romantic comedy)