InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Hanyou on a Hot Plate: Guess Who's Coming To Dinner ❯ Embracing the Insanity ( Chapter 3 )

 

Chapter Three: Embracing the Insanity

 

Sesshomaru stood in the opening of the narrow alley beside the newest addition to his chain of restaurants. He was waiting to be sure his latest shipment would arrive in tact.

 

Some would consider it petty for an executive to trouble himself with a simple delivery, but Sesshomaru prided himself on his attention to detail and penchant for justice. Everything minuscule thing in this world mattered, for it was the tiny details that made up the bigger picture. Quality was above all in importance and also his obsession with perfection allowed him an easy way to vent some steam. Unlike his silly halfwit brother he'd mastered self control and turned it into an art form.

 

There were many other reasons Sesshomaru found Inuyasha to be lacking in any or all redeemable qualities. The boy had no manners, common sense, and for many years his personal grooming habits were atrocious. Of course now he bathed regularly, not that Sesshomaru had gotten close enough to catch a whiff. But he assumed Kagome wouldn't bed down with him otherwise.

 

As much as it disgusted him to admit it the Taiyokai was intrigued by the notion of a niece or nephew, even one soiled with the taint of human blood. In a way Kagome had saved him the trouble of making contact with her. He had a duty to the child that was passed down to him by his own father, Inutaisho. The fealty of protection was a sacred rite and as the only living child of the Inu family it was the babe's due.

 

A healthy trust fund was also called for. Sesshomaru harbored no affection towards the child but he knew what had to be done. He was above faltering in his family duty. Unlike Inuyasha he prided himself on not being ruled by his emotions. As far as he was concerned his half brother was more emotional than most women.

 

Even Kagura had a stiffer upper lip than the embarrassment that shared half his blood line and she'd had the audacity to question his manhood.

 

Kagura. Now there was an interesting memory. What it must have taken for her to ask for his help he'd never know and perhaps a lesser man would claim feelings of regret. Sesshomaru growled low to himself just as he spotted the same delivery man this time unloading cartons of champagne flutes. The glasses were only a fraction of the value of the chandelier but then it was the point not the cost.

 

Sesshomaru stepped silently behind the deliveryman and dropped a heavy hand on his shoulder. The man panicked and the carton fell from his arms crashing to the pavement. The sound of shattering crystal filled the tiny alley way. Sesshomaru cocked his head as he licked his upper canines. The man's arms trembled.

 

“Dude, it was an accident. You're insured out the ass for Christ sakes.” He spoke slowly as he raised his hands to the sky in the universal sign of defeat and submission.

 

Sesshomaru lifted his hand and his talons grew. The man's face paled and soon the air was filled with a rank odor. Sesshomaru briefly closed his eyes upon the realization the man had lost bladder control. He shook his head and dropped his hand. “You are relieved of your duties here. Do not return.”

 

As much as tearing a strip of flesh off the imbecile would have satisfied Sesshomaru's temper there was no honor in confronting a man who peed like a beaten dog upon confrontation.

 

The man turned and fled, his wet pant leg molded to his thigh as the dark wet spot continued to grow.

 

Sesshomaru shook his head. How had such an embarrassment of a species managed to populate and run the world was beyond him.

 

_-_-_-_-_

 

Inuyasha sat beside Darryl on the bar stool sipping a tall pint of Killian's Red. The beer was good but the inside of his head was fuzzy. He gave into the sensation instead of fighting it. It was a welcome distraction from his concerns over the up coming `family' dinner.

Darryl was thrilled that Inuyasha had come out to meet him. The man was a quiet loner; the only person he ever talked to was Kagome. She insisted her strange husband wasn't antisocial just shy.  After three beers he decided Inuyasha wasn't such a bad guy once you got to know him. Though to be fair it could have been the beer talking. Darryl had yet to find out what everyone had been dying to know though, what did the guy do for a living? So far the only thing he'd gotten out of him was the mumbled word consultant. When asked what kind of consulting he did, Inuyasha dismissed him with a wave of his hand and answered, “The kind where you consult.”

One thing was certain. He knew nothing about women or babies. Darryl felt immense pity for the poor guy. If the baby was a girl as Kagome claimed, she'd have her dad wrapped around her finger. A boy and well who knows what kind of strange old world Japanese machismo things Inuyasha had planned for a son. But the idea of him changing a diaper or getting spat up on was priceless. He just didn't seem the car seat, stroller and diaper bag type.

However this afternoon Inuyasha wasn't seeking advice on car seats, though he really should have because six months later he will receive a traffic ticket for having the baby strapped in incorrectly. No today he was stressing his impromptu family reunion.

Darryl tipped back his beer for a long sip while trying to imagine what Inuyasha's relatives must be like. “So this is your only brother then?”

Inuyasha signed and rested his chin on his knuckles as he watched Darryl drink. “Yeah, he's my half brother.”

“So then…what about your folks?'

“They died…a long time ago.” His tone was matter of fact.

Darryl winced, “I'm sorry, I shouldn't have asked.” Shit he'd screw this up.

Inuyasha rolled a peanut across the counter. “It's okay, there's nothing I can do about it now. I never knew my father but Sesshomaru did. Sometimes I hate him for that.”

Darryl raised a brow, when all else failed he resorted to humor, which always went well with the beer. “It's like Oscar Wilde said; to lose one parent is a misfortune but to lose both looks like carelessness.”

Inuyasha frowned, “This Wilde guy has a strange idea of what's funny. But if anyone lost the old man it was Sesshomaru. He let him go into battle alone. Together they would have pulled through. But then he never should have fought at all, he was wounded. Sesshomaru could have stopped him…” But then I would've died before I was even born. Is it possible that stuck up ass is the only reason I'm here to begin with? It was all too much and in the past. So who cares? What mattered now was the dinner that was less than a week away.

 

Darryl asked, “What war was that?”

 

Inuyasha looked up with an odd expression. “No war you'd know about more like a petty dispute between territories.” Yokai and humans… There never was a happy medium between them.

 

“How old is your brother?” Darryl was just making conversation while they waited on a fresh bowl of pretzels.

 

Inuyasha scoffed, “Feh, to hell if I know.” Then added, “He doesn't talk to me much.”

“Wow that is some family you have there. Where did you say you were from again?” Darryl cut him a sideways glance.

“Rural Japan, middle of fucking nowhere.” Now that answer wasn't a complete lie.

Daryl laughed, “So is that one on a map?”

Inuyasha crushed the peanut between his thumb and forefinger and muttered, “Not one I've ever seen.”

_-_-_-_-_-_

Kagome pulled up into a parking spot right in front of the Piggly Wiggly; stork parking, just another one of the many benefits of being the size of a whale and unable to bend over. She pulled herself out of the Jeep and then promptly dropped her keys. They skidded under the Jeep and were at least three feet out of her reach.

 

Damnation. She didn't have a chance in hell of bending down far enough to reach those keys. Kagome took a deep breath and fished out the umbrella from the passenger seat of the Jeep.

 

Okay here goes nothing. She squatted as best she could and swept the umbrella beneath the under carriage of the Jeep trying to catch the keys on the hook of the umbrella's handle.

 

Due to the added girth of her belly she was only able to reach out with the umbrella another twelve inches. Kagome held on to the side of the Jeep with one hand and tried to extend her reach with the umbrella. She slipped and stopped her fall by leaning on the umbrella. She heard a sickening snapping sound and saw the umbrella bend. Oh shit, please no… I cannot fall out here.

 

Kagome leaned backward trying to right herself. This wasn't working towards her advantage either because now she off balance.

 

A bag boy spotted the over stressed pregnant woman teetering on the edge of a major spill. He rushed to her side and gave her him arm.

 

Kagome accepted it and praised the Gods. He made sure she was steady than dropped to his knees and easily fished the keys from under the Jeep. Kagome's face burned and she was fiercely glad there was only one month to go. She wasn't sure how much more humiliation could take. For the next baby she was going to make sure her keys were on an retractable elastic string.

 

She thanked him then waddled toward the door. The same kind kid pulled a shopping buggy free from the cart rail for her.

She pushed the buggy down the store aisles contemplating what one should serve their quasi evil, gourmet chef, brother in law for Christmas Eve dinner. Turkey? Did Sesshomaru eat turkey? Would he eat anything served in the home of his detested half brother? Come to think of it, had anyone ever witnessed Sesshomaru eating anything? He did eat, after all why cook if you didn't eat?

Maybe she could go nouve riche and serve lobster. But the idea of boiling anything alive turned her stomach. Kagome stood outside the lobster tank studying the red coruscation captives. Their up coming deaths were so brutal a tear formed in her eye. Damn it! This was just caused by her hormones. But regardless of whatever it was she knew lobster was off the menu. Kagome sighed then pulled out her cell and called Kim.

“Hiya Preggers! What's shaking? …Oh wait, you are!” Kim chortled at her horrible joke.

Kagome hissed, “Someday you will be pregnant and I will have my revenge.”

“Ohhhh sounds scary. I quiver with fear. So what's up?”

Kagome asked, “What do you serve a bad tempered gourmet chef for Christmas eve dinner?”

Kim thought then said, “You are calling me from the store aren't you?”

“Maybe.”

The intercom kicked on blaring “Clean up in aisle four! Clean up in aisle four!”

Kim laughed, “This is too good. Okay so this is for tomorrow right?…I'd go with lobster.”

Kagome was worried, “Are you sure? I mean I'd have to kill them first.”

“Yeah that is how it goes. Trust me they aren't any good alive.” Kim's amusement was evident in her tone.

“I'd feel bad about it though…they don't deserve to die that way.” Kagome's eyes misted over.

“I've seen you cook live crabs for Christ sakes...just do it.”

She sniffled; “I dunno…”

Kim suggested brightly, “Or make Inuyasha do it.”

Kagome thought this sounded like a plan. “Okay good, now what about the side dishes?”

She could hear Kim rolling her eyes. “Baked potato, salad, some steam veggies and bingo! There you are.”

Kagome was skeptical, “Are you sure I shouldn't go with turkey? I mean its traditional right?”

Kim snickered, “Girl I saw that Food Network DVD, Too Wild for TV featuring that egg fight…Don't ya think the less stuff  there is on the table for them to throw at each other the better? I bet they could do some wicked damage with a 15 pound turkey and a gravy boat. Really lobster and a nice salad is the way to go. And maybe you should hide the utensils and make everyone eat with their fingers. Have you considered just serving chicken nuggets? Or what about sushi? You are Japanese after all.”

“I can't picture Sesshomaru in a lobster bib and Inuyasha will just throw the claw crackers at him, Sesshomaru is a sushi expert so that could be awkward…” Kagome had to move her buggy so that the other shoppers could squeeze by. Unlike her they knew what they were looking for.

“Okay so serve turkey, dressing, cranberries, whatever and go all out! Just make certain you carve the turkey in the kitchen and don't use the good china. In fact maybe you should just use paper plates and make sure all the food is already cut in into bite sized pieces so they won't need to use any knives.”

Kagome shrugged, “Seems like a good an idea as any.” She pulled out her notepad and began jotting down what she'd need.

Kim couldn't resist adding, “So do you think Inuyasha would sign my ten copies of Food Network's Too Wild for TV? They're gonna make awesome Christmas presents.”