InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Hanyou on a Hot Plate: Guess Who's Coming To Dinner ❯ Dinner & Other Disasters ( Chapter 5 )

[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]

Chapter Five: Dinner & Other Disasters

Inuyasha stood in the doorway with his arms folded wearing a half sneer across his mortal lips. The assholereally came; there he is; just sitting on MY couch.

Well, it was really Kagome's couch but why split hairs? He decided to honor his bargain with Kagome and pretended he hadn't been singing that song.

He nodded, “Sesshomaru.”

The Taiyokai returned the barely civil nod and spat, “Inuyasha.”

Kiki, who was lying in the kitchen doorway, whimpered.

Kagome watched the two men stare each other down and was struck by the insane thought, I wonder if they are gonna start sniffing each others butts? She bit her lip to keep from laughing. The sight of her ruined silk pillow was enough to snap her back into reality.

She waited but the staring competition continued. A full sixty seconds passed with no blinking. Kagome knew Inuyasha's eyeballs had to be on the verge of cracking so she put a fast end to it. “Dinner's ready in ten minutes, why don't we adjourn to the dining room.”

Sesshomaru stood and confidently strode past a huffing Inuyasha. Kagome watched him turn into the dining room and wondered how he knew which way to go. She chalked it up to his superior nose.

Inuyasha turned to follow him but Kagome stopped him by pressing her hand on his chest. He looked down on her and she saw his eyes were burning with disgust. She whispered in his un-fuzzy ear, “Please.” Then she hit him full force with big sappy eyes. In a former existence she referred to this look as puppy dog eyes but Inuyasha had mastered and claimed it for his own.

His heart thawed just a bit and he groaned between clenched teeth, “Yeah I know.” He took her hand and held it in both of his. “It this doesn't prove how much I love you wench, then I don't know what will.”

Kagome grinned back, “I love you too.” She smiled brightly.

He growled back, “You'd better.” Then he dropped her hand and stalked off to the bathroom to wash his hands, vent in peace or just break something. Kagome wasn't sure which.

She straightened her maternity jumper and walked into the dining room only to find it empty.

Damn it! Where is that man? But that was a stupid question. Of course he'd bypassed the dining room for the kitchen where he could disparage of her pedestrian cooking skills.

She wasn't worried he'd pick up a weapon. Sesshomaru needed none as he was naturally armed. It was Inuyasha she wanted kept away from the cutlery. Kagome was fairly certain as long as Inuyasha made no threatening moves towards Sesshomaru then everything would be awkward but relatively non violent.

She found him standing in front of the abused turkey frowning. Sesshomaru gave a long sigh, “I don't suppose this turkey came with two wings?”

Except for the two gaping holes where the wings had once been the turkey looked great. Kagome answered, “Nope, it's the latest thing, Wingless turkeys.”

“I see.”

He picked up a wooden spoon and began stirring Inuyasha's lumpy mashed potatoes. “I don't know why he thought he had a chance in kitchen stadium.”

Kagome pulled the bowl away from him and stuck the hand mixer in it. “You know how it is.” She thought back on how many times when facing a major demon the brothers had turned on each other to fight over who was going to kill the demon. It was a wonder both of them were still alive. Scratch that, as Sesshomaru appeared damn near indestructible, it was a wonder Inuyasha was still alive.

Free from the bowl of mashed potatoes, Sesshomaru hunted out the pumpkin pie and held it under his nose. “Adequate. I assume the half breed had nothing to do with this.”

Kagome answered, “That would be a safe assumption.” Her cranberries began popping in the pan and she stirred them then added a grating of orange zest. “So what made you decided to take up cooking, I mean it's such a drastic change.”

“It was a new experience and a good source of capital for my empire. Long after I've retired my culinary investments will continue to pay off.” By retire he meant get bored.

Sesshomaru gently sat the pie on the counter and stood staring at her with an intensity that made Kagome's skin itch. Finally she gave in, “What?”

He shook his head and his long hair brushed across his shoulders. She wondered if he was forced to wear a hair net when he was at his restaurants. “I can't understand how the two of you are even remotely compatible.”

His words caught her off guard. “I'm not sure that's any of your concern.” She bit her lip and hoped she hadn't been mistaken about his politeness. Surely it wasn't something else. If so then Inuyasha really would break loose and there would be nothing she could do to stop him, even if he were mortal.

Sesshomaru smiled grimly, “It's my concern twice over. But you did make it easier for me; two birds, one stone and such.” He stuck a chopstick into the gravy and gave it a probing stir.

Kagome was wondering what the hell he was talking about when Inuyasha appeared in the doorway. “Sesshomaru, this ain't your kitchen.” Or your pregnant wife, or pie for that matter.

Sesshomaru's head shot up and his eyes flashed, “Very well it's not and thank the Gods for that small favor.” He flew through the doorway to the dining room, his movements faster than the blink of a mortal eye.

Kagome heard Inuyasha mutter under his breath, “Show off.”

_-_-_-_

Dinner was served and for the sake of Inuyasha's pride, Kagome squelched the urge to force him to eat with a plastic spork. She considered chopsticks but they wouldn't work with the gravy, stuffing and pie. So regular silverware it was. She didn't trust Inuyasha not to go after Sesshomaru. At least when he'd been a hanyou she could judge his temper by watching his ears twitch. But still his dark human eyes burned with an unending hatred.

If this was a normal American family function all male aggression would have been worked out over a game of touch football in the front yard before dinner. But when you marry into a yokai family sports were considered silly and the only satisfying end to a fight was one where someone was seriously maimed; the more blood the better.

For now they sat at the table watching Inuyasha butcher the poor turkey further with an electronic carving knife. He preferred the butcher's knife but under the circumstances knew better than use it.

Kagome had out her best gold linen table cloth and against her best judgment, the bone china.

Inuyasha turned off the electric knife and began transferring uneven slices of turkey to the platter. “So Sesshomaru, how's tricks?”

Damn that HBO channel and it's influence on his vocabulary! Kagome's heart stopped in her chest and she watched the Taiyokai break into a small smile. “Ever since Food Network put out a restraining order on you, things have been great.”

Inuyasha muttered, “Yeah well that's their loss.” He stabbed his turkey slice with his fork and growled softly as he pushed it around his plate. He sat down and kept a close eye on his Taiyokai brother.

Sesshomaru nodded, “Perhaps, those DVDs have sold very well. If you weren't so unpredictable you'd have your own show by now.”

Inuyasha's face lit up but he was suspicious. “Really?”

Kagome's head was filled with visions of a show called Mortal Combat with common Kitchen Utensils. The first show's theme would be death by electric egg beaters. Sheput her hand under the table and squeezed Inuyasha's knee. “He's not serious.”

“Fucker.” But he found her hand and squeezed it back.

She turned to face Sesshomaru who was twirling his butter knife through the still lumpy mashed potatoes. “So what do you think of Charleston?”

He lifted a brow, “It's smaller than New York. Honestly it's always entertaining to see what Americans consider old. Four hundred years to them is ancient and Ah Um is nearly twice that.”

Kagome hadn't thought of the two headed lizard in years, “Where is he now?” What does one do with a giant lizard these days?

Sesshomaru surprised her by sampling a bite of turkey. ”In Japan right now, though I did have him housed in Scotland by a lake for a decade or two. You can't imagine the people who kept trying to take his picture and sell it for profit. Damned tabloid papers.”

“He likes to swim?” She couldn't imagine it.

“Sometimes, all and all he's loyal and always comes back but he does get out on occasion.”

Kagome pondered this then asked, “What ever became of that adorable little girl who followed you?” She'd often wondered how a human raised by the likes of Sesshomaru would turn out.

Sesshomaru sat his fork down beside his plate. “She died of old age.” His tone was grave and his expression unreadable.

Inuyasha was sick of Sesshomaru's distain for the human condition. He spoke with his mouth full of turkey demanding, “Well what the hell did you expect?”

Kagome tried to soften her husband's harsh words by asking, “Did she marry and have a family?”

Sesshomaru stood and popped open the sparkling cider. He poured himself a glass than sat the bottle in the center of the table without offering anyone else any. “Yes, I've been keeping tabs on them for centuries. That girl's blood holds an attraction for the Inu family that cannot be explained.”

He looked pointedly and somewhat with disgust at Inu who dropped his fork and exclaimed, “What?”

Kagome was intrigued and just a bit concerned, “How kind of you. So who are her family? Anyone we know?” This was going somewhere, she just wasn't sure she was ready to admit to herself where.

Sesshomaru narrowed his bright golden eyes at his half brother than answered her question. ”They are the keepers of the sacred. Your Kaede-baba built a large shrine and when the Samurai came I left Rin with her for safety. Now that a certain hot blooded half breed was out of the picture I felt the role of priestess would be safe and boring. But I was wrong. She grew up and met an annoying young man and they were wed.” The thunk of his fork as he dropped it on the table emphasized his feelings on Rin's choice of mortal husband.

Kagome wasn't able to imagine Sesshomaru giving away the bride but he must have allowed it. “So she lived in the shrine my family keeps now! Imagine that, all this time we were so close to so much.” She felt the baby move and was suddenly homesick. It'd been far too long since she'd been home even for a short visit.

Inuyasha growled and pushed his plate aside waiting for the inevitable.

Sesshomaru frowned. Stupid mortal she still didn't get it, “Why do you think your family still has the shrine? It's protected.”

Inuyasha warned, “Don't even go there!” If this was true did he want his wife to know what her family owed his? Sesshomaru was twisted and untrustworthy. Not one selfish, good deed could change that.

Sesshomaru slipped into a cruel smile, “Why are you surprised? We are brothers after all even if it's only half blood. It was amusing to see we've the same faults. Though for me it's more of an idiosyncrasy than a weakness.” It had only taken him four hundred years before he was able to admit his feelings for the fragile mortal girl.

Kagome sat in her chair with her fork in one hand hovering over her plate. She wasn't sure what to think. The shrine had been declared a historical landmark years ago so it was safe from developers. Whenever funds were short the bank always granted the loan her family needed to keep it in working order and never complained when the payment was late. Here her phone company sent a cancellation threat if the payment wasn't received five days before it was due.

And then there was school. She'd missed so much of it during her junior high years and was still accepted into high school. At the time it was a miracle.

Inuyasha pushed his chair back and stood, “But back at the old man's tomb… you tried to kill her!”

Sesshomaru shrugged, “I didn't know then, I hadn't met the child. But now it has come full circle.”

The words `we've the same faults' resonated in Inuyasha's head and left him with a dark thought, “Did you ever… with that kid?”

Sesshomaru's eyes rimmed with red and his face paled as he roared, “Filthy mortal man, how can you ask me that?” He tossed his linen napkin from his lap to the table.

Kagome took a deep breath and found her voice. “You've protected our shrine because…”

Inuyasha cut her off and managed to toss in a word from his word of the day calendar Kagome got him for Christmas, “Don't listen to him, that pompous ass; he'd say anything to hurt us.”

Sesshomaru stood and touched Kagome's hair with the fingertips of his remaining hand. His eyes glowed and hot bile rose in Inuyasha's throat at the sight. “Blasphemy, I would never allow any harm to come to this one.”

Inuyasha was around the table and in Sesshomaru's face in mere seconds. “She's not yours to protect.”

He grabbed the electronic carving knife. “If you value your remaining arm, than you will take your hand off her now!”

Sesshomaru's lips thinned. “I gave my word to watch over her offspring. Do you think you are the only one capable of making stupid promises?”

Inuyasha hated being reminded of how he was forced to dispatch Kikyo and this only served to further his building rage. “You've never cared about anyone but yourself.” Even after his words he was forced to remember how much Rin had resembled Kagome. He dismissed the memory; after all it was hard to believe Sesshomaru possessed a soul.

He pressed the green ON button and the knife began to buzz. Sesshomaru looked at the shaking electric blade with amusement. “As if you've ever stood a chance against me.”

Inuyasha clenched his teeth, “As if I care.”

Kagome's stomach churned and she dropped her head face first onto the table top. If the father of her unborn child was going to die she didn't want to go into premature labor by witnessing it.

_-_-_-_

Notes:

Got my computer back and it's working again!

The Spork is a plastic utensil that is the combination of a spoon and fork. Basically it's a spoon with very short and dull fork prongs on the end. It's flimsy, useless and can be found at Taco Bells everywhere.

Isabel's Christmas card is still up on my site the link is at my profile for those who wish to see it.