InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Haunted ❯ Haunted ( Chapter 1 )
[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]
A/n: This is a one-shot that I wrote a little while ago. I didn't know I still had it, till like right now. It's a really dark but it has a good ending. It deals a lot with self mutilation. I wrote it when I was in History one day, and I kind of like it, so I'm going to put it up here. I hope you like it and please review.
Warnings: Self mutilation, suicidal thoughts, language, and sexual content
Disclaimer: I don't own squat…
Summary: Kagome's been having some mix feelings and starts to harm herself. What will happen when InuYasha finds out? One-shot! I suck at summaries! This story is rated T for self mutilation, suicidal thoughts, language, and sexual content. Inu/Kag
“Speaking”
`Thoughts'
“Inner thoughts”
“Nothing makes us as lonely as our secrets.”
Haunted
She dropped the blade, letting it fall to the pink carpeted floor. Her eyes were halfway closed as she took a deep breath, her arm falling onto the mattress. Crimson tears fell down her arm, onto her green skirt, but she didn't care. Blood already stained most of her clothes anyway, nobody would notice. Kagome opened her eyes and stared at her arm. The cut was much deeper this time, she better get some rubbing alcohol on it, before it gets infected. Kagome took a deep sigh as she wrapped her arm in paper towels, which she dabbed with rubbing alcohol earlier. She had to stop the bleeding.
Kagome never thought that she would actually purposely put harm on herself, but then again she never really thought that she would fall down a well and end up five hundred years in the past. Things have become more difficult in her home life and in the feudal era. She was constantly being harassed by Hojo, her grandfather was really sick and close to being on his deathbed, her friends kept pestering her about her obnoxious, obsessive, over protective, bad-ass “boyfriend”, Naraku is still out there looking for the jewel shards, and InuYasha is going to hell with Kikyo in the end.
Kagome took another sigh as she studied her blood stained arm; it stopped bleeding for the most part. She gently lifted her arms to her lips and licked the remaining blood away. Little drops rose from the cut. It wasn't much, but if she ignored it, it would grow. Kagome took her alcohol soaked towel and let it rest on her arm, her mind wandering to other things, when she heard a knock on the wooden door.
Kagome jumped at the sudden loud bang and quickly threw her arm under her comforter, so that's no one would notice anything. Another knock came from her door, Kagome's heart started to pound in her chest. She didn't know what to do.
“Kagome.” Sota yelled from the opposite side of the wooden bedroom door. “Kagome…are you alright?” Sota attempted to get a response from his older sister.
“I'm, I'm fine Sota…I'm just changing. I'll be there in a minute…what do you need, Sota?” Kagome asked frantically, her heart still pounding in her chest, her arm hidden under her comforter.
“InuYasha's downstairs…he wants you to hurry.” Sota informed her. Kagome nodded as she threw her feet off the bed.
“Okay, tell him I'll be down in a minute.” Kagome yelled as she pulled off the paper towel, letting it fall to her feet. Foot steps echoed through the silent room as Sota left to give InuYasha the news.
Kagome took a deep sigh, as she tried to still her beating heart. `That was close. 'Kagome thought, as she gathered her things together, making sure to throw her knife in the bottom of her bag. Kagome looked for a clean uniform, but they were all in the laundry room. She sighed, she would have to bring her every day clothes, though that didn't really bother her, it would make it easier to hide her scars. It was winter, so she could get away with wearing baggy clothes.
Kagome threw off her school shirt, and slipped off her school skirt. Scars covered most of her body. Kagome started to cut herself about a month ago, when she accidentally cut herself chopping celery for Kaede. Kagome was shock at the sudden exhilaration she felt when the blade accidentally broke her skin and made her bleed. Of course she had to hide it from everyone else. Kaede tended to her wound and told her to be careful next time. Kagome nodded, not wanting to cause any suspicion.
But later that night, while Kagome was peeling an apple for Shippo, she “accidentally” cut herself again. She liked the way it felt, the blood falling down her skin, the metallic taste when you put it in your mouth to try to stop the bleeding. Well needless to say, Kagome started to do it on purpose, cutting her body, sometimes she even carved things in her skin. What ever she felt at the time. She never limited it to her arms; no…she always brought the blade to different parts of her body, to see which brought the most pain. It was winter time, which meant that Kagome could wear stockings or long socks to hide the scars that she placed upon her legs.
Kagome popped her neck as she opened her dresser door, taking out all the long sleeve shirts she owned, and all the baggy blue jeans she owned. She liked to wear these the most, because they were really loose and just seemed to fit better than her school clothes.
“Kagome…” Another knock on her door brought Kagome to reality. “Kagome, are you alright…I smell blood.” Kagome's eyes widened when she realized who it was.
“InuYasha…” She breathed as she threw on a black baggy long sleeve shirt, and a pair of baggy blue jeans. She pulled her hair up in a loose bun and threw her other clothes into her yellow backpack.
“Kagome, are you alright?” InuYasha asked, opening the door. “I smell blood.” InuYasha informed her.
Kagome put on a fake smile and nodded. “Yeah I'm fine…I just…” She trailed off as she tried to think of an excuse. `Come on girl, think.' Kagome told herself, rummaging through her mind for a good excuse. “I just…hit a loose nail, while I was packing. It was clumsy of me; I know…I'm sorry that I worried you.” Kagome lied…well not exactly, she was sorry that she worried him…but she didn't think that really counted. InuYasha stood silent for a moment, taking in Kagome's words. Kagome's heart started to pound faster. “Oh come on InuYasha!” Kagome smiled cheerfully. “You know how clumsy I am!” Kagome still kept her happy, cheerful face.
InuYasha fehed and mumbled something under his breath that Kagome didn't quite catch. “Yeah, come on wench. We better get going before Sango kills the monk.” InuYasha mumbled as he reached for Kagome's bag. Kagome nodded, holding the cuffs of her shirt between her fingers, her thumbs crawling through a self made thumb whole. Kagome followed InuYasha when she noticed the paper towel that she used laying by her bed. She stared at it for a few seconds, her heart pounding.
InuYasha turned around and cocked an eyebrow. “What are you staring at this time?” InuYasha asked clearly annoyed.
Kagome's head shot up as she stared at InuYasha, her foot kicking the piece of paper under the bed. She silently shook her head. “N-nothing…I was staring at nothing.” Kagome mumbled as she exited her bedroom. InuYasha stayed in her room, the smell of blood still lingered in the air, and it wasn't old either. She was hiding something from him, he knew it. He wasn't that dense. (A/n:O.O Wow? Who knew?)
InuYasha shook his head as he made his way to the door, when something caught his eye. He turned his attention to a paper towel with little drops of crimson stained on it; it was peeking out of from under the bed. His throat went dry when he realized it was Kagome's blood. InuYasha stared at the object for a couple of seconds. He was in shock. `Is this, what Kagome was staring at?' InuYasha asked himself as he lifted up the object. He shook his head…he must have it all wrong. This is Kagome…sweet, innocent Kagome. She would never do anything like this…would she?
“InuYasha?” Kagome asked from her bedroom door. InuYasha jumped slightly and stared at her, quickly hiding the paper towel behind his back.
“What?” He snapped at her. Kagome flinched a little; InuYasha caught this and mentally kicked himself. “What?” InuYasha corrected himself.
Kagome stood there for a minute, a little shock, but she quickly recovered. “Um…you ready to go?” She asked, not knowing what else to say. InuYasha nodded.
“Yeah…” InuYasha replied, getting to his feet. He stared at Kagome as they walked down the hallway. She was so different, not just physically, but from the way she acted. There had to be something wrong. `Kagome…' InuYasha thought. `What's wrong with you?'
“Kagome!” Shippo yelled as she flew into her arms. Kagome caught him with a smile and hugged him, she was always happy to see Shippo. “Did you bring me back anything?” Shippo asked, his eyes glowing with the innocence of a child.
Kagome smiled and nodded. “Yep.” Kagome's smile grew as she pulled out a lollypop that her mom gave her on the way out. Shippo's eyes widened as he grabbed the lollypop, thanking Kagome as he tore off the wrapper and ate the sticky treat. “Your welcome, Shippo.”
InuYasha watch this with little interest, nothing was new about this. Kagome always brought back the runt something, he didn't really know why the runt asked; he knew he was going to get something. InuYasha decided to turn his attention away from the young kitsune pup and back to Kagome. Nothing seemed to be out of the ordinary, Kagome acted like she always had…but something wasn't right about her. She looked distant, like her mind was somewhere else.
“Hey Kagome.” Sango smiled as she ran up to the trio, Miroku following behind her, a hand print on his right cheek.
InuYasha snorted. “What did you do this time?” InuYasha asked, already knowing what he did.
“Humph.” Sango dragged her nose in the air away from the monk. Kagome smiled and InuYasha snorted again.
”I see nothing has changed since I've been gone.” Kagome put on a fake smile.
“Well if you wouldn't leave so damn much you wouldn't have to worry about things changing.” InuYasha stated rudely, in truth he was just trying to get a rise out of Kagome.
“Well I do I have a life you know! I can't stay here all the time! I have school! I have family! I have responsibilities!” Kagome shot at InuYasha, her aura darkening.
InuYasha smirked inwardly, that's the Kagome he knew. “Well you have responsibilities here, too! May I remind you, that YOU broke the Shikon no tama!” InuYasha knew what was coming next, they all did.
Kagome's aura turned black as her fist clenched together, her teeth grinding. “Sit!” She yelled at the top of her lungs. “Sit, sit, sit, sit, sit, sit, sit…!” Kagome continued to go on, until she couldn't say sit anymore. “Ugh! I can't believe you, you insensitive jerk!” Kagome yelled as she stormed off; making sure to grab her book bag.
InuYasha lifted his head up as soon as the spell wore off; his mouth filled with dirt…there was even dirt up his nose. He started to mumble things under his breath that no one caught, which was probably a good thing.
“What an idiot…” Shippo mumbled still licking his lollipop that Kagome gave him.
“UGH that jerk!” Kagome yelled out to no one in particularly. She tried her best to vent out anger, but it just didn't do too well. `Who does he think he is?!' Kagome thought to herself. `Keeping me away from my family, my friends, my responsibilities! My grandfather is dying! And…and I have to help him! I can't be here constantly! I have to be with my family, too!' Tears came to Kagome's eyes as she thought about her sick elderly grandfather. She had been really moody lately, because of it. So many emotions ran through her, love, sadness, hate, guilt. Every emotion you could think of ran through her and she didn't know what to do.
Kagome began to run…for no particular reason, she just ran. Her mind became clear all she did was focus on her feet hitting the ground; they never seemed to be on the ground at the same time. First it was her right then her left then right again. Kagome tried to keep track on which foot she was on, but soon began to get lost. Her breath became ragged after awhile, and her knees kept on wanting to give out. But she kept running, it was like she was running from her problems, but she couldn't run forever…
Kagome's knees eventually gave out and she fell onto the snow filled ground. Her body shook from both cold weather and exhaustion. She tried to get on her feet again but only fell back down. `C'mon Kagome…you have to get back up…if you stay on the ground too long it'll come back…' Kagome's body shook as she pulled her self to her knees, she couldn't get up. It was useless…she leaned back to the tree her body shaking again, but this time it was from the sobs. She tried to hold back tears, but it was too hard. She cried silently to herself, her heart breaking. She wasn't strong enough, emotionally and physically.
Kagome took a deep breath as she reached for her bag, crawling up to a tree stomp she sat in front of it with her back against the tree. Her yellow bag lying across her left leg. She looked at it for a few seconds, images of the dagger flowing through her mind. She nodded her head unconsciously as her hand made its way toward the bag. Kagome hand pushed items to the side as she looked for the dagger. She finally found it.
Kagome smiled as she pulled up her shirt sleeve. She let the blade linger over her arm a minute, as her mind began to taunt her.
`Maybe I should stop…' Kagome thought it was getting too dangerous.
“Oh c'mon, don't stop now…you just started.” Her mind started to taunt her.“C'monKagome…think of how fun it is to watch your blood fall down your arm, the numbness that you feel, like nothing bad can ever happen.”
`But it can kill me…one day I could loose too much blood and die…'
“Nothing's wrong with dying…people die every day. And who's exactly going to care about your death anyway? Your mom? Hah, she's too busy dealing with your DYING grandfather. And don't even think for a second InuYasha will care. He has Kikyo…after all you are only his jewel shard detector.”
Kagome consider this for a moment. `You know…your right. No one would care if I die. After all I am only there jewel shard detector…I mean they can always get Kikyo to do it…' Kagome took another deep breath, resting the blade of the dagger on her wrist, hoping that she would hit an artery…but she couldn't do it. Kagome dropped the dagger and held it loosely in her hand. `No. No, I have to do this.' Kagome shook her head as she lifted the blade, but instead of moving it to her wrists, she brought to the back of her arm.
She dug it into her skin and brought it to her chest, making a long deep gash in her arm. Blood fell down her arm in a big rush. Kagome was satisfied with the cut and brought to her wrist, letting the blade rest on her wrist again. Kagome closed her eyes and was about to push on the blade when a hand caught her other wrist. Kagome's eyes shot open and she quickly looked up to see two golden orbs staring at her.
Kagome gasped and tried to pull her arm away, but InuYasha only tightened his grip on her wrist. Kagome tried to yank her wrist away but InuYasha held it in the air, his hand grabbing her other one. Kagome started to cry, but this time not in pain. She stared at his amber eyes, but quickly turned her head, afraid to look at them any longer. Sobs started to choke Kagome as InuYasha let go of her wrists.
“I'm…I'm sorry…” Kagome sobbed, her hands wrapping around her knees. Snow started fall down next to the pair, Kagome was afraid to look up. “I'm so sorry…” Kagome continued to sob.
“Kagome…” InuYasha trailed off as stared at her curled form. “Why?” It was the only thing that would come out…he was in shock. `Kagome…was…she…but…' He couldn't even think it, he was too shocked.
“I-I don't know…” Kagome lifted her head. “I really don't know…” She was afraid now, on how InuYasha would react. No one was supposed to know…no one. Kagome let her head fall back down on her knees, her heart had fallen to the pit of her stomach. She cried silently her body shaking with every sob. Kagome couldn't believe this was happening to her. `No one was supposed to find out...no one.' These words kept on echoing through her mind, haunting her.
Kagome looked up when she felt some weight on her shoulders. InuYasha had laid his fire rat over her shoulders. Kagome inwardly smiled as she held it close to her. She looked up to find InuYasha but he was no where to be found. Kagome's heart dropped. `He…he left me…' Were the only words that her mind was able to get out. She sat there in shock and shame. InuYasha had left her to deal with her problems on her own. Kagome stared at the snow covered ground, without thinking she laid on the ground, snow falling over her shaking body. She was tired, cold, and hungry, but all she wanted to do was sleep…just sleep.
InuYasha came back a couple of minutes later, with firewood in hand. He was starting to get cold, and from the way Kagome was shaking he had a feeling she was cold, too. InuYasha wasn't really big on thinking ahead, so when he saw Kagome on the ground, covered in snow, almost to the point of frostbite, lets just say he was a little more than shocked.
“Oh crap! Kagome!” InuYasha yelled as he went to the mikos aid. “Kagome…” InuYasha whispered as he held her frozen body in his arms, it wasn't possible to tell how long she'd been lying there, only that she was really sick. InuYasha studied her body for a second, she was freezing and her clothes were soaked from the snow. He looked for her bag he had to change her clothes before she caught pneumonia.
InuYasha dug through Kagome's bag grabbing a pair of blue jeans and a long sleeve shirt. He quickly made movement to take Kagome's clothes off, first her shirt then, then pants. InuYasha was shocked to see all the scars that covered her body, some made out words other were simples, and some were just scars. But one really caught his eye and surprised him more than anything. `I love you, InuYasha…' He read to himself. She loved him…she even carved it in her skin. InuYasha shook his head and started to dress her in her clothes and his fire rat of course.
By the time InuYasha was done, a snow storm was forming, he had to get Kagome out of there. He lifted the young miko in his arms and quickly ran to the nearest shelter he could find. It wasn't long before InuYasha found an empty cave they could stay in for the time being, or at least till the storm stopped. InuYasha set Kagome down by the wall. InuYasha was about to go look for firewood, but there were already some there. InuYasha stared at it for a minute and began to smell the air. Someone had been there, but the scent was old, there they would be long gone now.
InuYasha for the second time that night, went through Kagome's bag, this time looking for that fire in a stick thing that Kagome used. InuYasha knew she had it, where he didn't know. He growled when he couldn't find it…he turned to Kagome. Should he wake her up? He shook his head, no. It probably wouldn't be a good thing, she needs her sleep. InuYasha back to looking for the matches, throwing things out of the yellow bag. When finally at the very bottom he found a box of matches. InuYasha smiled in triumph.
Wasting no time, InuYasha quickly started a fire, grabbing a couple of packages of ramen. InuYasha brought Kagome's bag with him to the fire, and quickly started to boil some water that Kagome kept in a bottle. While the water was boiling InuYasha kept an eye on Kagome, mentally kicking himself for not catching the signs. She had been different the last month and he noticed it, but he didn't want to say anything. His pride caught the better of him, he couldn't really explain the feelings he felt for this miko…and to see her put harm on herself, literally broke his heart. She used to be so happy…what happened?
Kagome's eyes started to fluttered open. Her hazel eyes came in contact with amber ones. Kagome quickly felt shame crawl over he body when she saw InuYasha stare at her, but then she kind of felt happy. He didn't leave her. Kagome sat up, her back against the wall, she turned to fire. She could feel InuYasha stare at her, but she said nothing. They sat in an awkward silence, neither knowing what to say.
“How are you feeling?” InuYasha asked breaking the silence.
Kagome stared at him for a second, her mind not quite understanding the question, or why he would ask that. “Better…I guess…” Kagome answered honestly.
“Mind telling me what that was about?” InuYasha pointing to her arm. Kagome grabbed her arm self coconsciously.
“I…” Kagome got out. “I…don't-“ Kagome couldn't finish her sentence before InuYasha interrupted.
“Don't give me that crap, Kagome! You do know! You know why you did it Kagome! Now tell me!” InuYasha yelled at her. He was angry, but not at her but at himself.
“Because I can't stand it! I can't stand any of it!” Kagome broke down. “My grandfather is dying, my friends are constantly on my case, your constantly with or thinking about Kikyo, and I can't stand it because I hate her! And I hate myself for hating her! But I can't help that I love you, too!” Kagome covered her mouth when she said the last part. `I can't believe I just told him…that I loved him…' Kagome mentally kicked herself.
InuYasha stared at her in shock. She loved him…she loved him. InuYasha couldn't quite get over that part. Sure he saw what she carved in her skin, but she loves him. He looked at the innocent miko in front of him, she held her hand over her mouth, tears coming out of the corner of her eyes. InuYasha wanted to say something, anything. But he couldn't get his mouth to move.
“I'm sorry.” Kagome mumbled through her hand, and she quickly sped off. She was halfway out of the cave when InuYasha caught her from behind, his arms sneaking around her waist, his breath on the back of her neck. Kagome started to tremble in his arms.
“I-I love you, too.” InuYasha whispered to the back of Kagome's neck.
Kagome shook her head frantically. “No.” She said through tears. “No. You don't love me. You love Kikyo…your only attracted to me because I look like her.” Kagome pulled his arms from her and tried to leave, but InuYasha caught her arm, before she could make a step further.
Kagome turned around, only to be met by InuYasha's lips. Kagome gasped, but closed her eyes letting her heart and soul melt into the kiss. InuYasha held on to Kagome's waist, while Kagome snaked her arms around his neck. She could feel his body heat warm her. Her mind stopped thinking she was lost in the kiss, everything around her seemed to cease.
They both pulled away too soon. Kagome stood there in shock, her arms still around his neck, his hands resting on her waist. They stared into each other eyes, their love for each other radiating throughout the cave. It wasn't long before their lips met again, this time the kiss deepening. InuYasha's tongue peeked out of his mouth gently grazing Kagome's lip, asking for entrance. Kagome opened her mouth allowing InuYasha's tongue to explore hers.
They spent the night together, both exploring each others bodies, ignoring the boiling ramen on the fire that InuYasha made. This was their night, no one else's, this was the night that they admitted the love for each other this was the night that they released all the sexual tension they carried for the past year, this was the night…that Kagome and InuYasha finally became one.
The End
A/n: So what? Good? Bad? Horrible? C'mon you can tell me. I kind of like it, I got my point across and InuYasha and Kagome got to make out. But anyways please tell me what you think, in a review. C'mon you know you want to review, I can see it in your eyes. Well anyways review! Please!
Demon