InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Haunted ❯ Love and Guilt ( Chapter 4 )

[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]

Chapter 4: Love and Guilt

Inuyasha stared at the fire. After what had happened that afternoon, the group had all decided that they should cut the day short and find a good campsite. He glanced over at Kagome. She was still unconscious, several hours had passed, and he was getting concerned.

What the hell had happened? What was that guy talking about? He has the right to ask Kagome for her very life? What the hell? Boy, when she wakes up, she'd better start talkin'!

Everything inside him clenched up and froze at the thought of Kagome being taken away from him.

Sango and Miroku were sitting off to the side , Miroku for once not even attempting to be lecherous. "Inuyasha," he began, "what do you think that man meant? Why would Kagome owe him her life? What could Kagome possibly have done?"

"I don't know, Miroku," he burst out. "She's out cold still, so it's not like I've been able to ask her! I do know one thing, though, we'd better find out how to deal with this guy, 'cause I'm damned if I'll let him take her to her death!"

"Inuyasha."

Everyone whipped around to stare at Kagome's sleeping bag. She had woken finally, and was sitting up.

"You can't deal with Kichiro. This... it's something only I can do. Leave it alone," she said. "Kichiro is my problem, not anyone elses. As you heard, he won't interfere in the search for the shards or Naraku, in fact, he'll probably help, if only to get this done quicker, so he can take me with him." Bitterness tinged her voice, then.

"That should please you, Inuyasha. A quicker resolution to all of this."

Inuyasha jumped up and stomped over to her as soon as those words passed her lips.

"Are you totally crazy, you baka wench?! You think that I'd be worried about shards and Naraku when this guy is talking about taking your life!? What kind of person do you think I am," he breathed, totally hurt that she would think he'd care more about those things than her.

"And what do you mean, its not my problem? That guy is threatening your life!! I'll be damned if I'll let him haul you off to the afterlife, wench! Do you hear me?"

Kagome just looked at him with a blank stare. "And what do you have to say about it, anyway, Inuyasha? Or have you forgotten Kikyou?" This said in a deadly quiet voice.

"You have no right to complain. You've already promised your life to her. You can't promise to save my life, when she holds yours in her hands." She turned to the others as they just stared at her in shock.

Totally ignoring Inuyasha's angry sputtering, and the others shocked looks, she asked, "Sango, were we fortunate enough to camp near any hot springs? I feel really in need of a bath."

Sango stood up quickly, glancing at Miroku and Inuyasha. "Actually, yes, we were lucky, Kagome, why don't we go take a nice hot soak? Shippo can come with us!" As she turned to grab her things, she looked at Inuyasha. "I'll try to get her to talk about this while we're there," she mouthed at him. He nodded. "Come on, Shippo - Kagome, I'll show you where it is."

After they were out of earshot, Inuyasha jumped up. "Miroku, I'm gonna follow them. I'll find a tree out of sight of them but within earshot. I have to find out what this guys hold on her is," he got out, "I can't help if I don't figure this out."

Miroku nodded. "I understand, Inuyasha. Whatever this guy has on her, we have to put a stop to it. But I am curious about something." At his tone, Inuyasha glanced over at him curiously. "This man must be from Kagome's own time, correct?" Inuyasha nodded. " Then how did he find her, here? Someone must have helped him, and we need to find out who."

Inuyasha's eyes widened as he thought about that. "You're right, Miroku...."

"Also, Inuyasha," Miroku added, "Kagome was right about one thing." At Inuyasha's glare, he shook his head. "You can't really get so angry over this, not when you have Kikyou holding your life. As long as you insist on giving Kikyou that right, you can't fight Kagome on this 'Kichiros' right to take her life."

Inuyasha spun around and stared off in the direction the women had gone. "Feh. It's not the same thing at all. You know why I promised Kikyou. What could that ass have over Kagome that would even be close? No." He shook his head.

"I'll find a way to stop him. He will never have her. I swear that on my father's grave." With that he leaped into the trees and headed off in the direction of the springs.

Miroku sighed. Always so impulsive, Inuyasha. How can you not see how like this situation is to your situation with Kikyou? Kikyou... hmm. I wonder. Miroku's brow furrowed.

She is the one person I can see that would benefit from this - if Kagome is taken off by another man, Inuyasha would have no reason not to follow her to hell. Which is what she wants. I'd better not say anything about my suspicions to Inuyasha, though, not unless I can find proof. He would never allow himself to believe it. He feels guilty for not trusting Kikyou that time... so now he refuses to believe ill of her for any reason. And she knows this, and uses it against him.

Inuyasha slowed his pace and found a tree with a good strong branch for him to sit in. He couldn't see the hot spring from here, but he could easily and clearly hear what the girls were talking about. He settled in to listen.

Miroku's wrong, he has to be wrong. And - and even if he isn't wrong, and it is like my situation with Kikyou, I still won't let him take her! Not ever!

He could hear Sango clear her throat. "Kagome," she said hesitantly, "what was all that about today?"

Kagome lifted her head from where it was resting on her knees. I need to talk about it, and Sango is the sister I never had... why not?

She sighed. "It's kind of a long story, Sango - are you sure you really want to know?"

Sango nodded. "I think you need to talk about it, and that's what I'm here for. You can tell me as much as you want, I won't push."

"Thanks, Sango. I kinda do need to talk about it, I guess. I've been holding it in for four years." Kagome closed her eyes.

Four years? Thats about a year before I met her, she would have been, what, fourteen? Even still, I hate the thought of any other males around her, before I met her or not. It's silly, but...

Inuyasha's thoughts were interfering with his listening, so he switched them off. He came back to himself to the sound of Kagome's voice.

"Kichiro's family and my family have been friends for many years," Kagome started. "Kichiro was four when I was born, and his father spoke to my father about a formal betrothal between us." Sango started in surprise, and Inuyasha nearly fell out of the tree.

"My father agreed that it would be welcome if we were to marry, but decided against a betrothal. He wanted me to choose my own partner in life, just as he had freely chosen my mother. So a betrothal was never agreed to. However, Kichiro's father raised him with the idea that I was his betrothed, even if it wasn't formal." Kagome smiled sadly.

"I never thought of him that way, you know. He was like a brother to me... I could never see him as a lover."

"But, Kagome," Sango asked, "then why does he insist that you belong to him?"

"Like I said, his father raised him with that belief. Over time, he convinced himself that he was in love with me, and that I would be his bride when I turned eighteen." Kagome's face saddened. "No one could convince him otherwise."

She stopped, and turned her face away, tears starting to fall.

"But I still don't understand, Kagome. Why does he think you owe him your life?" Sango asked, shaking her head in confusion.

Eyes still leaking tears, Kagome turned back to Sango. "The night Kichiro turned eighteen, he came and asked me to dinner. I agreed, and it was fun, until he took me for a walk in the park. He grabbed my hands, and started talking about how he was going to go to college, so he could get a good trade, and save the money for our wedding. Suddenly, I'd just... had enough. I told him that I didn't see him that way, and that I wouldn't marry him."

At Sango's gasp, she nodded.

"After I said that, he got very upset, and tried to grab me. I ran. Unfortunately for me, there were some very bad men in the park that night with us, and I ran right into them. Kichiro found us in time, and fought them off, but he was injured during the fight." Kagome dropped her gaze to the water, and sighed.

"Instead of getting the help he needed, he just looked at me - he looked so hurt," she sobbed, "and then, he left. He got in his car and drove away. But he had lost a lot of blood, and he passed out, causing him to wreck his car. He died about twenty minutes later."

Sango touched her sister's arm. "Oh, Kagome, that must have been horrible! But still, I don't see why you should owe him your life, he made his own choices."

Kagome shook her head. "Don't you see?" she cried, "he died because I couldn't love him!"

Inuyasha jumped from his tree and went back to the campsite.

What the hell...?

"Sango, thats why I won't ever let Inuyasha fight Koga," she said. "Especially because I know what it feels like to love someone who doesn't love you. I hate that I'm the cause of Koga's pain, there's no way I could bear it if he got hurt or killed because of me!"

Sango just looked at her friend for a while. "Kagome, I understand what you've told me, but you know Inuyasha. Even if what you said to him earlier about Kikyou is true, he's not gonna stop protecting you. He protects you from everything, even from yourself, sometimes!"

Kagome's eyes closed in pain. "Not from everything, Sango. There is one thing he won't protect me from."

"What?"

"He won't protect me from Kikyou." Kagome tried to smile, but it came out twisted.

Sango just stared at her. "Kagome..."

"No, Sango, don't deny it, we all know it's true, its okay, really. Don't worry about it. I'm ready to go back, what about you?"

"Uhh, yeah... okay," Sango said, looking at her sister with worry.

"And, Sango?" Kagome said. "Thanks for listening. I haven't told anyone about this, not even my mom. It actually felt good to talk about it."

Sango looked over and smiled at the raven haired girl beside her. "Anytime, Kagome, you're my sister and I would do anything for you, you know that." She frowned. "By the way, what's a 'car'?"

And they walked back to the camp, Kagome trying to explain what cars were.

I really did need that... even though the problem is still there, I feel better for talking about it.