InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ haveing fun with deadly weapons ❯ my mothers uncles favorite dog ( Chapter 4 )

[ Y - Young Adult: Not suitable for readers under 16 ]

Hi

No own inu

I hate this story. I hate this chapter. I hate the English language. I hate all you non reviewers. I hate my little brother. I hate exams. It seems the only thing I don't hate today is my lone reviewer, black shadow fox, you should all thank him (her it??? Sorry I have no fucking clue) because this chapter would have taken a long ass time to get written with out those two rewives. I'm done bitching. LOVE AND PEACE

The conversation on sex in 20th century was not nearly as perverted as you might think. Gina explained everything women's lib to aids, broken families to porno mags. Not that our dear Miroku didn't try anything. The first time the monk's rambling hands found there way to Gina's flesh he was hit with a text book slap-to-face complete with red hand print. Miroku was a bit surprised at how hard she could hit it was almost as hard as Sango's. He was even more surprised when she just went on talking instead of telling him off. Miroku tried a few more times, each time his hand would be intercepted. She didn't comment just dug her finger nails into the flesh of his hand until he pulled it back. He soon realized those little things were nearly as bad as Inuyasha's, as he noticed small cuts in his flesh. She also didn't seem to need to see his hand in order to know it was there. Miroku being the persistent letch we all know and tolerate tried again. This time he looked for an opportunity to catch her of guard. She was laughing pretty hard when his left hand reached towards her bottom. It was nearly there when she grabbed it pushing it back at an angel that nearly broke his wrist.
"Listen monk how many times does it take before you learn you're not touching my ass." She didn't seem angry just curious. He wouldn't have taken it as a threat if not for the added pressure on his wrist before she let go.
"He doesn't learn. I knock him senseless every time he touches me but it never seems to deter him for long."
"Listen monk I suppose most of the girls from this time put up with your shit. Obviously Sango has tried behavioral modification, but she may be going about it the wrong way. Luckily I have an ideal for some thing slightly different."
Gina started digging through her messenger bag. Sango looked on curiously, hoping she had some thing good to straighten out the monk. Miroku for his part continued to protest his monkly virtue. A few random things went flying behind her, before she triumphantly produced two objects. A bottle of clear nail polish and a small vial with a rubber stopper.
"Now Miroku you might have noticed that your hand was returned to you with scratch marks. Some of which broke the skin. Now this vial has a poison that could kill you if about half of it entered your blood stream but some of the things it does before it kills you are quite fun. I had planed on using this on my friend Charlie, but as you can't behave yourself I'm going to have to waste a very good practical joke by painting my nails with this so that every time you attempt to grab my ass you get poisoned. It's entirely your choice how sick you get." During this little speech Gina had poured the contents of the vial into the bottle of nail polish and shook it vicously.
"Are you sure this is a good ideal?" Sango asked she was a bit worried. She didn't want the monk to fall over twitching in the middle of a battle. But she also didn't want Miroku touching Gina.
"Sure I'm sure, it won't kill him and like I said the side effects are fun." Miroku looked very doubtful about her thought on what fun constituted. "Besides he should have enough will power to resist my scrawny ass. Honestly he's not bad looking. He should do just fine without molesting the likes of me." She broke off to blow on her nails.

(A/N dear god all of that is only 700 words, need filler fluff, jokes make them laugh and they may forget how stupid this is.)

"So you're both on this quest to gather the jewel and kill the ultimate evil that is Naraku with Dogboy and Kagome?"
"Something like that, why you ask?"
"Nothin' it's just this is the oddest group of hero's I've ever heard of. I suppose you both have some sob story as to why Naraku must be destroyed. I'm not prying, really not in the mood for an epic tale, but it's closer to home than he killed my mother's uncle's favorite dog, right?"
Both Miroku and Sango looked distinctly uncomfortable.
"Fuck I'm a buzz kill aren't I, but it's in the ball park right?"
Miroku pulled himself together, "Actually it was the cat not the dog."
Gina grinned, "Good, cats are useless anyway. Do you mind if I smoke? I mean I will anyway but it always seems polite to ask." She had already found her cigarettes and was searching for her lighter
"Smoke what?"
"Just cigarettes, never really cared for cigars. Ah, found it, knew it hadn't gone far." She lit the cigarette putting the lighter back in her coat pocket.
"Uh, what is that?"
"Oh, that's right no tobacco in feudal Japan. This is a cigarette, basically it's a dried plant leaf wrapped in paper."
"Can I try one?" Sango asked.
"Trust me you don't want to."
"Why not? You seem to like it."
"fine" Gina calmly lit another cigarette and passed it to Sango. The demon slayer inhaled the smoke and started coughing violently.
"God that's awful" Sango gasped, "How do you do that?"
"Practice." She grinned at the girl who was starring at the cigarette as if it had come straight from hell. "Oh, I should have read you the warning." She pulled out the pack again and read from the side." Surgeons general's warning: smoking causes lung cancer, heart disease, emphysema, and may complicate pregnancy. Quitting smoking now greatly reduces serious risks to your health. Smoking by pregnant women may result in fetal injury, premature birth and low birth weight. Cigarette smoke contains carbon monoxide."
"What did all that mean?"
"Stop now before you die a slow horrible death. And don't light up near pregnant women because you'll injure the baby."
"You mean your killing yourself?"
"As we speak. Hey, where's this Shippo kid? I promised Kagome I'd explain the evils of tobacco use to him." Gina said trying to get the conversation off of her own behavior
"Probably bothering Inuyasha." The monk said, "We should probably go check on them."


OK. I give up, that's it. I wish it were better but I feel the need to post some thing so here it is. Flame away. Next chapter will be better I promise.