InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Head Over Heels ❯ At Arm's Length ( Chapter 23 )

[ Y - Young Adult: Not suitable for readers under 16 ]

Chapter Twenty Three

At Arms Length

Sesshomaru:

I sat on the worn carpet floor holding the witch in my arms. She turned away from me refusing to meet my eyes as hot tears rained down her pale face.

She was over flowing with anger and hurt, two very human emotions I was at a loss to understand. After all she's known about this for years, so why should opening up to me be so painful? A better question was why did I care?

Kagura seemed to think I would be well rid of her. And in some respects, such as Rin, that could be true. But now that I knew the churning depths of her soul I'd never let her go.

The witch was an asset much too valuable to lose. Had her parents been traditional yokai she would have served under a master Necromancer and never seen the inside of that miserable burnt out bookstore. With her skills at my disposal there'd be no corner of this earth that wouldn't be ours to claim. Like the Tetsusaiga, I'd fight to keep her at any cost.

I touched my finger to her chin, turning her towards me. “Why do you fight this? It's inevitable, give in and let go. You have so much to gain.” I pressed my face to her throat and felt her pulse beating hard under my lips.

Kagura sighed, pulled away and shook her rumpled hair. “Maybe you haven't noticed but this is the twenty first century and the world's changed. The old ways are dead; sin eating, blood relics, hell even prophets, there is no place for them.”

She met my gaze, her puffy red eyes only serving to heighten the effect of her ruby red pupils, “This isn't the life that I wanted.”

My hand squeezed her shoulder and she winced. “Have you ever tried to control your powers, use them for your own means?”

Kagura pushed me away, her lips parted in an ugly scowl, “Hell no!”

She jumped up and paced across the thread bare rug leaving me at her feet. Normally I would never stay seated while an adversary stood. But here it might be to my advantage to feign vulnerability. The witch was coming back with me, to attend me in my house, my bed and my business. She just didn't realize it yet.

Kagura spun on her heels and railed at me, “Don't you see? I'm cursed!”

She fell back onto her couch and ran her fingers over her temples into her hair, “If people found out about this, about me… I'd be the next big thing, I'd be a freak, hell they'd put me on Day time TV!”

She looked up at me, her expression so serious she might be discussing the fate of the Middle East, not her own meager existence. “They'd come from thousands of miles away to ask the one question they think will set them free from their crappy mundane lives… or ask me where Grandma hid the stock certificates.”

She hunched over, hugging her knees to her chest; I rested a cool hand on her bare foot. “I'd have to relinquish my own soul! I can't do this. I'm not the type of person who can go gallivanting around pretending to save the world.”

For some reason my worthless half breed brother thought the world was worth saving and he did seem fond of gallivanting. What was I supposed to say to this?

I stood up and sat beside her, sliding my arm around her shoulders, “What makes you think you owe the world anything? Or that it needs saving? I wasn't asking you to put on tights and a cape.” At least not in public.

She blinked and this then broke out into soft laughter, “God that almost sounds… well kinky.”

I pretended to consider her words, “Perhaps. But that's not what I asked you. Have you tried to control your powers?”

Kagura closed her eyes, “Well not really, I'm not strong enough. All I can do is deal with it.”

She seemed terrified of just letting go. What started as question left my lips as a demand “How do you know you can't do it? You've never even tried!”

She attempted to push me away but I held her fast forcing her to meet my eyes. “Kagura. You are the worst kind of loser. You're a quitter who's never even tried.” There is nothing lower than a defeatist, this was the first lesson I ever taught Rin.

Kagura took me by surprise by breaking down into a fresh stream of tears instead of attacking me in return. “How can you say that? You have no idea what I've seen!”

I straightened my spine and dug my fingers into her shoulders refusing to let her up. “Witch, I spent two years in a bloody rotting trench in France up to my ass in death. I rejoined twenty years later and have seen every death camp, mass grave, creeping jungle and fucking desert on this earth. I know darkness.”

Kagura spat back, “Goody for you. Go write a book or something. Death is not a gift and it sure as hell isn't mine.”

I let her up and she began stalking angrily about the tiny room. I glanced at her movie posters; it was disgusting how she lived like a human. I decided to cut to the chase. “You've spent too much time with those stinking mortals. You aren't human. The world simply isn't black and white.”

She leaned against the wall; her arms crossed just listening to me. I wasn't sure where I stood with her but I pressed on, “It's a thousand shades of gray. There is no such thing as fate. Life is only a series of decisions. You can choose to loose or win.”

I stood up and she let me take her into my arms. My hands rested against her shoulder blades and I felt her exhausted body relax into mine. I was so close to winning. I bent my head and brushed my lips over hers, tasting my victory. “Accept who you are and walk with me… you aren't alone this.”

Kagura pulled her face back from mine. I glanced down and saw her eyes open wide and brimming with molten fury. “No!”

I had no time to brace myself before her winds pushed me back and flung me across the room. The base of my spine slammed into the sharp corner of the wooden counter. I slumped momentarily stunned trying to anticipate her next move.

Loose papers and random bills swirled around the room caught in a whirlwind. The curtains flapped against the window and a tiny pillow flew past my arm. I raised my head and saw her slowly approaching me, her hair blown back from her face, her eyes glowing. “No. You don't want me; you're only interested in what I can do for you.”

There was no way of expressing how much I did want her, even now when she was ready to rip me apart, the attraction still burned. I offered her my hand. “Listen to me. That's not what I said.”

She lifted her hand and knocked me down with a deliberate burst of wind. I fell to my knees in front of her. She ignored me, her winds pushing at my flesh as though she meant to pull it from my bones. “I will not be your evil puppet.”

The witch maybe powerful but I am much more so, however I stayed down and tried a different tactic, “Is that what you think, that I'm evil?”

My words never reached her ears, “I'm not your pawn. My God how could I have been so gullible?”

She took another step towards me. “You've always known… haven't you?” The glass in the windows rattled, her hair lifted off her shoulders, floating in the air around her head.

It's true I recognized the shadows that walked behind those ruby eyes but I had no way of knowing the extent of her powers. “Back down Kagura, before this becomes something that can't be repaired.”

I stood up slowly as her winds pushed my hair and clothing back from my body. Kagura stood before me, wet tear tracks on her cheeks, her eyes aflame. Her soft words hung with the weight of the world. “No. It's too late for that.”

I did nothing, surely she wasn't serious? The witch's winds slowly dissipated and she gave a long sigh. I wondered how long it'd been since she'd eaten or showered for that matter, her hair was matted to her forehead. The air settled around us, heavy and final. “Leave Sesshomaru.”

Kagura hugged her arms, her hands cupping her elbows, her head down. “And don't come back.”

I stormed towards the doorway. “Is this really what you want?”

She raised her chin and nodded. I bowed my head then flew out the doorway, pausing to throw my fist through her front door that lay broken against the hallway wall.

Sango was still sitting atop the stairs and as I brushed by her it occurred to me that she'd heard everything. It didn't matter what she'd heard or how she got home; if Kagura cared so much for humans than she could look after Sango.

I slammed the front door behind me and heard every window in the building shake. The Roadster started smoothly and I pulled off into traffic squealing my tires.

_-_-_-_

Kagura:

I watched Sesshomaru leave and all the breath in my body left with him.

He wanted me to work for him. That's all this ever was, some sort of sick investment for him. God only knows what he wanted me to do. A standing army of the dead could prove to be valuable for anyone who thrived off the kind of power Sesshomaru held.

I sat on the couch holding my head in my hands. My whole life had crumbled around me in less than forty eight hours. I had no job, sanity, boyfriend or… I looked up, even a measly front door.

My head and pulse pounded in unison. I wanted to run after Sesshomaru and tell him I didn't care what he wanted from me, I'd give it to him. But I refuse to be his pet.

Should I be surprised that he locked everyone out and kept only those who could be of use to him? I wondered what purpose Rin served, she seemed human but perhaps there was some aspect of her that I've over looked.

A soft knock sounded on my broken door. I looked up, saw Sango standing in the doorway and knew she'd heard everything.

Jesus I hate Sesshomaru!

Sango took a tentative step into the disaster area that was my apartment. “Are you… okay?”

I pushed my hair back from my face, “Do I look okay?”

She smiled softly, “Do you really want me to answer that?”

I slumped back on the couch, “No.”

I waited for her to say something about what she'd heard but she only sat down on the other end of the couch. We sat in silence watching Sushi scoot frantically around his bowl.

I couldn't even take proper care of a fish, shit! I am a loser of unmentionable proportions.

Sango interrupted my thoughts, “I don't think you're a freak.”

My eyes stayed focused on the fishbowl. “Thanks, but it doesn't matter.'

Sango sighed, “It really pains me to say this but the jerk had a point.”

She had to be kidding, I groaned, “What?”

Sango paused as though she was considering her words. “You need to learn control or you'll spend your whole life cowering behind your couch or under a bed.”

And why can't I?

At this point cowering looked to be a good honest profession. I cut her a fast glance and saw she was looking at me, waiting for a response. Sango was a good friend but she was human, how could she ever understand?

Oh damn it! Now I'm starting to sound like Sesshomaru. I stood up and kicked the couch for good measure.

Sango was startled but kept her seat, “What was that for?”

I shrugged, “It felt good”, which was a lie because now my foot was throbbing something fierce.

My stomach growled and we both laughed nervously. “Kagura, when's the last time you ate?”

I headed to the kitchen, “I dunno, yesterday sometime maybe.”

I opened the fridge and pulled out a carton of 1% milk, the date on it was today so it should be passable. I sat on the stool next to the counter drinking straight from the carton.

Sango joined me, “Ah the joys of living alone. My mom would bitch for a week if I did that.”

I cocked a brow, “You're what twenty five or six? Maybe it's time to move out.”

She surveyed my apartment, her eyes stopping on the front door that lay in the hallway. “We should be roommates. We can rent someplace new and sunny. We could pick out paint and even start a potted garden on the fire escape.”

I sat the cardboard milk carton down, remembering how they use to have the faces of missing children on them. One afternoon I was standing outside my fridge drinking milk when the girl whose picture happened to grace the back of my carton appeared beside me.

I sighed there was no choice to be made. “Sango, I can't be your roommate.”

She expected this. “Why not? It'd be good for you. And I could keep an eye on you... I mean things.”

Keep an eye on me? I'm a little old for a babysitter. I rolled my eyes. “Sango don't you see? I can't have a roommate.” I pointed to Sushi who sat in his bowl watching us intently. “I can't even keep a dog or a cat.”

“But why not? Do you like living this way?” Her fingers drummed nervously on my counter.

“Hell no! Who would?” I slid of the stool. As though anyone would sign on for a season of The Real World: The Living Dead, New York City.

“Sango… my stuff moves on it's own. Nothing's ever where I left it. Sometime things disappear all together. Remember the white angora sweater you lent me?”

A wrinkle appeared across her forehead at the mention of her favorite sweater. “The one you lost?” Yeah, it'd been two years and she was still pissed.

“It wasn't lost, it was shredded. I left it on a hanger on my closet door and took a shower. When I got out it was on the coffee table in pieces.”

Sango paled slightly, “My God.”

She was already scared and I was just warming up. “I bought a dog a few years back, he was a cute little mutt. I had to take him back, he wouldn't stop cowering and pissing in every corner of the apartment.” This memory was a nasty one; I'd liked that little dog.

Sango bit her lip, “Maybe there was something wrong with the dog, if he'd come from an abusive home or something…”

I caught her off, “It's happened with every dog that's ever been in my house. Doesn't matter whose dog it is or where I live.” I left out the time my mom bought me a kitten. I still have nightmares about that.

When she had no answer I pointed to my broken front door. “Go look at the other side of the door.”

Frowning Sango stood and walked to the door. She lifted it up and studied the other side. She ran her hand over it testing the painted texture. The door fell in two pieces from where Sesshomaru had punched it.

“Kagura… there are scratches all over the door. And they're so deep.”

She looked up at me. “Each mark has five lines, almost like claws on a hand. Sesshomaru hit the door pretty hard earlier, maybe he scratched it. The man's got knives for fingernails.”

I shook my head, “Look closer.”

She did. “They've been painted over. And there's layers of them. Kagura… this is scary.”

I lifted the milk carton back to my lips, “Yeah that's the third door I've had since I moved here. Still want to be my roomie?”

She dropped the door and slowly backed away from it hugging her arms around her. “Not so much.”

Sango gave me a tight lipped smile, “Is it always like this for you?”

I yawned, “Some days are worse than others.”

Sango's eye studied my apartment in a new light, “Does this stuff follow you to the bookstore?”

This was the question of the hour, the one that would leave me a friendless freak and I had Sesshomaru to thank for it. “Sometimes, but not often.”

She licked her dry lips, “But you still see things there don't you?

I nodded. “I see things everywhere.”

Sango looked around the room. “Is there anything… here now?”

I lied, “Not right now, we're alone.”

Mrs. Jacobs, the elderly shut in the apartment below me, walked past us into my bedroom. Last week her son had been forced to put her in a home. Now she was in my apartment wearing her signature red house coat and matching slipper socks.

Sango visibly relaxed and Mrs. Jacobs came back out and sat on the stool beside me, watching Sushi. “Is there a way you could control this?”

I picked up the carton and shook it. Damn, I was out of milk. “Probably but I'm too overwhelmed to try. It'd be opening the flood gates when the dam is full. It's like a door, the further I open it more stuff can get through.”

Sango's eyes were wide, “This is what causes your migraines isn't it?”

I pressed two fingers to my right temple, it was still sore from last night. “Yeah it is.”

We sat in silence and I realized that Sango was my closest friend yet I've never told her how much our friendship meant to me. She was watching me from the corner of her eye.

I was aching to know what was going through her head but too afraid to ask. Sometimes I almost preferred the dead. At least they couldn't hurt me, not where it mattered.

_-_-_-_

Sesshomaru:

Once home I retreated to my study.

How dare she reject me?

This was far from over. I'd have my witch.

With all my power and assets at my disposal she would come back to me.

I paced the length of my fireplace growling low in the back of my throat. My loss of control was as infuriating as her kicking me out. I lifted my fist and pounded it against the marble mantel of the fireplace.

Angry laughter broke out and I looked up to find a barefoot Inuyasha perched on the back of my favorite my white leather recliner. The tiny hairs on the back of my neck stood up and I bared my fangs. “What the hell are you doing in here?”

He leaned forward balancing on his hands, his claws slowly sinking into the soft leather of the chair, “You have something of mine.”

I opened my hand studying my long poison claws. Tearing Inuyasha from limb to bloody limb would be the perfect end to a day such as this.

“Totosai was robbed, my Tetsusaiga is missing.” Inuyasha's golden eyes flashed. “What the fuck did you do with my sword?”

“Hanyou bastard, it's not your sword.” I didn't deny having the sword; it wasn't as though anyone else would break into a sword smith's shop and take only an old, rusted katana.

Inuyasha growled at this. The air sizzled and crackled around the green glow of my claws.

“You fucking asshole!” He leapt off the back of the chair flying at me, claws extended and fangs bared.

_-_-_-_

Notes:

This chapter is dedicated to Tiger, who has major tests all week but is probably reading this instead of studying.

Sin eating was a real medieval practice. There's the myth of a man who actually ate the sins of the dying… for a price. There's a very nice Heath Ledger movie about this called The Order. In reality sin eating was done by the poor who ate food left on the chest of the dead. They were starving and well paid. The act of eating the food was supposed to symbolize the absorption of the deceased sins. So it could be said that heaven and redemption have always been for sale.

And yeah I'm back to writing so expect regular updates again. In a few days I'll have an update for Saving the World One Hanyou at a Time.

The Devil's Dictionary:

Acquaintance: A person whom we know well enough to borrow from, but not well enough to lend to.

Friendship: A ship big enough to carry two in fair

weather, but only one in foul.

Frog:A reptile with edible legs.