InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Head Over Heels ❯ You Can't Always Get What You Want ( Chapter 27 )

[ Y - Young Adult: Not suitable for readers under 16 ]

Kagura:
Inuyasha�s hand squeezed my shoulder, �Shhh, it�s okay� you didn�t know. But it�s not too late.�

�Don�t Inuyasha. Don�t do this. We can�t win and pretending that we can is killing me.�

He growled low in my ear, �What if I told you I�m not pretending.�

Anime/Manga: InuYasha Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Comedy / Hentai / Romance | Type: Alternate Universe | Uploaded On: 07.31.2006 | Pages: 10 | Words: 9.8K | Visits: 423 | Status: Completed

Chapter Twenty Seven

You Can't Always Get What You Want

Warning: This chapter contains lemony goodness. (Okay I know everyone is mad at me for taking so long to update these past few months but maybe this will make up for it.)

12:30 am St. Luke's

Kagura:

The priest was talking with Sango and her mother. Kohaku was in a medically induced coma; it was his only chance of surviving the head injury.

I came back with coffee, hoping to caffeinate the eggnog that was running in my system and stumbled into a conversation between the doctor and Mr. Hiraikotsu. If Kohaku lived, he'd be severely handicapped, so much so he'd never walk or maybe even think on his own ever again.

Either way the outcome was bad. There truly are worse things than death and Kohaku was staring both options right in the eye.

I wasn't able to say a word. Sango and her mother were in the other room and Mr. Hiraikotsu hadn't heard the click of my booted heels on the white tile.

I turned and fled. Kohaku's life was over. I could've done something to save it but I'd been too fucking stupid to recognize the Goblin's attraction to his jacket.

All this time I'd gone through life assuming everything that happened was about me. The sun rotated around my petty, self-centered, haunted existence not visa versa.

And I was wrong. I was privy to small glimpses of what went on behind the scenes but still a very small player in this twisted show.

The Goblins didn't come to me; I was just a casual observer. It was as simple as that. I thought I was the big prize but instead it was a thin, insecure yet cocky teenage boy.

Kohaku was a bit of a juvenile delinquent but he didn't deserve this. Hell no one did. I thought back to a few years ago when he'd had a crush on this cashier we'd hired at the bookstore.

She had a pierced nose, magenta hair and a witty perspective on life. Kohaku worked the stockroom the whole summer just to get closer to her. When her boyfriend moved up from D.C he was heart broken.

Tonight had been edgy but after everything that had happened, my breakup with Sesshou, and the fire in the store… it was a good distraction. We were relaxed and having fun. Damn, it amazed me how the world tumbled and crumbled on a dime.

If Sango hadn't felt her cell phone vibrate we would've stayed at the Ball Drop and been oblivious to the tragedy in the ER across town. The ball would have lowered slowly while we drunkenly shouted along with the count down.

Three! Sango would've clasped Miroku's hand.

Two! I probably would have linked arms with Inuyasha and some stranger on the other side of me.

One! The crowd would be going nuts and Miroku would have scored big with a hug and long kiss from Sango. Hell, I might've jumped into Inuyasha's arms in the excitement of the moment.

We would have been loud, silly, carefree and happy. Funny how miserable I thought I was a mere hour ago but I wasn't really. I was with my friends, the closest thing I'd ever have to a family, trust me if you met my step-dad you'd understand.

But instead we were here, waiting and helpless.

The sterile smell of the halls and the over whelming force of grief pulled at me. I strode down the ER main hall and stepped outside into the cold night. Anything was better than staying in the waiting room, even the bitter cold.

Inuyasha was leaning against the brick exterior of the hospital. I hadn't expected him to still be here. He had no connection to any of us.

I sighed, “It's nice of you but you don't have to stay, it's gonna be a long night.”

He tilted his head back against the red brick. “Like I said before, I got nowhere to go for the moment. Sides, I like the kid.”

A long moment passed and I said softly, “I do too.”

Inuyasha closed his eyes, “He reminds me of… well me, a few years back. Gods I drove Kagome nuts.”

Desperate to think of anything besides my abject failure, I said, “You guys have known each other for a while huh?”

He gave a sad smile, “A few years, ever since she was fourteen. We were forced to… work together and we didn't get along so well at first.”

I thought back to just the intense way Inuyasha watched Kagome. “But that's changed hasn't it? She cares a great deal for you, even if she is silly.”

He snorted, “Yeah the wench is silly.”

I smiled at this but was blown away when he added matter of factly, “But I'd die for her if I had to.”

Wow.

That was some declaration.

He didn't say he cared for her, or that he liked her. He said he'd die for her.

He was way past the sending flowers and chocolates phase. What kind of work did they do that might require such a sacrifice? I was dying, no pun intended, to ask but decided now was not the time.

For right now I was on the verge of breaking down or blowing up. Who was I to judge anyone else's relationships when I was sabotaging every one of my own? Granted it wasn't intentional but that didn't change the cold hard facts.

Rage burned in my chest, I bit my lip and leaned backwards slamming the back of my head against the brick wall.

FUCK! It hurt but the pain did nothing to take the edge off.

I was out here hiding when I should be inside supporting Sango. Miroku was off in some private office calling everyone in the Hiraikotsu family. The doctor advised they contact anyone who may want to say goodbye… just in case.

But instead I was outside, unable to face Kohaku or his family. Earlier today I'd told Sesshomaru I hated my curse because people might start seeking me out and ask for my help. How arrogant of me, in truth I was an ignorant fraud.

It wasn't until Inuyasha reached out and pulled me into his arms that I realized I was crying. He pressed my face into his shoulder where I was able to appreciate his mango scented shampoo. He was living with Kagome; no man purchased scented shampoo on his own.

He hugged me tight and his selfless gesture was my undoing. I broke down bawling into his hair.

Inuyasha said nothing and just held me through the worst of the great heaving, body wracking sobs.

Eventually he pulled me down onto a concrete bench and slung an arm around my shoulder. “My brother's an ass. He should be here with you but I'd by lying if I said I'd missed him.”

In my mind I was cursing Sesshomaru, fuck him! But my mouth betrayed me, “I wouldn't want to be near me either. I saw… and I didn't do anything.”

Inuyasha's arm tensed around me “Saw what?”

I sniffled and he offered me a tissue he'd mysteriously produced from his pocket. “The monsters that feed off death and pain. They were here waiting for Kohaku and I was too wrapped up in my own crap to realize.”

Inuyasha sighed and his arm relaxed, “I don't know anything about these monsters you are yammering about but I do know shit happens every day. That kid's a loose cannon. He was running and didn't look where he was going. Woman I know monsters, and this was just plain old bad luck.”

I sat up and wiped the smeared eyeliner from my face. “Bad luck? That's it? That's the best you can come up with?”

He licked his thumb and wiped my cheeks clean of the black smudges. “Sometimes the world sucks. What more is there to say? Bad things happen to good people. And so what if you had been there to pull him out of the street before the taxi hit him? Who's to say he wouldn't have been hurt some other way, like a piano falling from a crane, or slipping in his own bathtub.”

I refused to accept that. “He's just a kid... a stupid kid. This is so unfair. Can't the Gods see that?”

Inuyasha leaned back against the bench; the bright light from the ER sign highlighted the bruises on his face. “I don't know what any God sees, but I can see the kid's a fighter, if there is a way for him to pull through, he will.”

I turned to face him, “He's not gonna pull through.”

Inuyasha countered, “Kagura, you don't know that.”

My nails dug into my palms, “Yes, Inuyasha I do. The doctor told us there's nothing they can do. If he doesn't die then he'll never wake up. It's over.”

Inuyasha swore softly, “Oh fuck.”

I closed my eyes, “Yeah…”

He stood up suddenly, “It's not over yet.”

I watched him pace on the sidewalk in front of me. Inuyasha's eyes were guarded, his expression serious. “I wish I could believe that.”

He stopped abruptly, “We never lose. Not anymore.”

I ran a hand through my hair and a shower of confetti fell into my lap. Happy Fucking 2006. “What are you talking about?”

Inuyasha's voice was filled with an anger that startled me. “I fucked up and Kikyo paid for it. But not anymore, no one gets left behind.”

What? Since when did this become a Marine mission? “Who's Kikyo?”

Inuyasha shoved his hands in his pockets and looked away. “Just some girl back home.”

I pressed, “Okay but what does she have to do with this?”

He narrowed his eyes and scratched his right ear, “Nothing… but I can fight this.”

I dropped my face into my hands, “I could've fought it but I didn't. I saw the thing, it was drooling on his coat, looking forward to this, probably counting down the hours, but I didn't do anything.”

Inuyasha's hand squeezed my shoulder, “Shhh, it's okay… you didn't know. But it's not too late.”

He was damned serious; he thought there was something to be done besides spending the night watching the kid die. I couldn't take this. “Don't Inuyasha. Don't do this. We can't win and pretending that we can is killing me.”

He growled low in my ear, “What if I told you I'm not pretending.”

I winced and glared at him, “What the fuck are you saying? I can't do this!”

He pushed his hair back from his face, “I dunno what I'm saying but there's something to be done. I'm not sure what or how it works but I've gotta try.”

Then Inuyasha hugged me to his chest, pressed his nose into my neck and took a deep breath. The gesture was so intimate I pushed him away with both my arms and winds, “What was that for?”

He let go of me and the last of my wind flowed through his silver hair before dissipating. “I was memorizing your scent.”

Okay… that was kinda creepy.

How very… well, dog demon of him. I said nothing and he added, “Stay here with Sango. Don't leave her or the kid, I can track you by your scent; where ever they take him I can find you.”

Yeah, like that made complete sense. But I was shook up and scared. I didn't want him to leave. “Where are you going?”

Inuyasha frowned, “Home and I don't know when I'll be back but hang on. Okay?”

I sniffed and watched him go, “Do I have any other choice?”

He answered without turning, “Not really.”

_-_-_-_

2:00 am

Sesshomaru:

It was New Years and I was alone in my library. A half empty decanter of cognac sat by my elbow but it had done nothing to eat away the fact I was awake and alone.

It was senseless to celebrate the human calendar yet Rin insisted on staying up. She was asleep long before 11 and I carried her to bed.

Earlier the TV was turned to NBC and I saw my witch dancing in the crowd with the demon slayer, her boss and my filthy half blood relation. She'd turned on me so quickly.

I'd been ready to give her the world but she'd spat on my offer and instead was dancing in the street in my brother's arms with the rest of the unwashed masses.

Perhaps next time we fought I shouldn't go so light on the half breed seeing how he felt well enough to dance so soon after our confrontation.

The TV was turned off hours ago and the silence of my house was deafening. At Christmas Jane gave me Season One of House M.D. on DVD. I as a rule never watched TV but she said I reminded her a bit of the main character, a cynical doctor.

The whole thing was beyond a joke. I never expected a gift from her and certainly hadn't gotten her one. But sleep was far from my grasp and maybe the show would be a welcome distraction.

I picked up the DVD box and began pulling off the plastic. I used my claws to peel off the annoying security stickers, what kind of people were they trying to keep out of this stupid box, James Bond?

The whole thing was a fine mess; I had sticker adhesive on my claws and was ready to throw the box across the room when a hard knock came at the door.

I said without looking up, “Come in.”

The door opened and I was disgusted by the sight of Inuyasha. I dropped the DVD case and bared my fangs. “Back so soon?”

He lowered his chin giving me a determined glare, “I will get my Tetsusaiga back but that's not why I'm here.”

My fingers formed a temple of contemplation on my desk. “Why then?”

He leaned against the doorway not wanting to enter my sanctuary. “Is it true? Did Father have a sword that could save people from dying?”

I narrowed my eyes at his strange question. “Why do you ask?”

He rubbed the back of his neck with his right hand. “You've used it haven't you?”

The conversation was taking an intriguing turn. I hadn't considered he'd be interested in any sword that wasn't my Tetsusaiga. “That isn't any of your concern.”

Inuyasha battered on, “That's a load of fucking bullshit. Look, I know about Rin and the nanny.”

My lips curled back in a cold smile, “Did you lose your precious human bitch?”

He shot back, “No, you asshole.” But he didn't take my bait. Instead Inuyasha stood his ground with his arms crossed waiting.

I sighed, “How did you know about Rin and Jane?”

He took my question to be a temporary truce and crossed the threshold into my library. “We met Jane at dinner. Kagome's a miko…” He looked away in obvious disgust, “She always knows.”

A miko priestess? Of course she was. After all, most holy vessels scamper about in short skirts and tight sweaters. Did he really expect me to believe him? “And this means what to me?”

Inuyasha took a slow step towards me, “It means quite a bit. Kagura needs you.”

I laughed at his audacity. “Why ever would she need me when she has you?”

He frowned, “What the fuck?”

“Don't lie to me half breed, her scent is crawling all over you.” I'd never admit I'd seen them on the TV. It'd diminish the air of omnipotence I strove to maintain.

Inuyasha gasped and snorted in laughter, “You're jealous!”

I growled, “This Sesshomaru is never jealous.”

He wiped a tear from his eye, “Oh can the third person shit already. You really like her.”

I glanced away, “I could care less if the Witch lives or dies.”

“It's good that you like her because she needs your help.” He wasn't giving up.

I answered, “The last thing she wants is my assistance.”

He waved my words away, “Forget about your damned grudge. Look, Sango's kid brother is at St Luke's dying. You can stop it, come on! Do it for Kagura.”

I swung around in my high backed chair so I wouldn't have to sully my vision with the sight of his begging. I didn't mind having my back to him; Inuyasha hardly possessed the nerve or stealth required to perpetrate a sneak attack. I recalled that Sango was a yokai slayer. If her brother was dying then that meant one less of her kind left on Earth to inconvenience mine.

Inuyasha stayed where he was and continued pushing his case. “She doesn't even have to know that you did this.”

Of course the Witch would want me to save a yokai slayer, her irrationality never failed to amaze me. She was like a mutt dog who kept the company of housecats. She'd never see that humans were beneath us.

I ground my teeth silently. My life hadn't been this complicated before the Witch.

“Sesshomaru, don't be an ass. Kagura has some wacky idea she should've been able to predict this and save the kid. If he dies it'll kill her. She won't be able to live with herself.” I heard him pacing across my carpet.

I tapped my claws on the surface of my wooden desk. “And this matters to me why?”

He sighed, “I don't know why but I thought this was worth a try. I had to come.”

I spun the white leather chair around to face him, “Leave me.”

Inuyasha's face was dark with the bruises I'd dealt him earlier yet he believed in this cause enough to come back and face me. “There's nothing I can say, is there?”

I held his gaze, “No there isn't”. When would they all learn? Kagura, Inuyasha and even Rin, though Rin had an excuse as a mortal child, there was only so much I could expect from her.

Inuyasha's face fell and he closed the door behind him.

If the Witch needed me, then she'd have to come tell me herself. Sending the half breed was beyond pathetic.

_-_-_-_

Kagura: 3:30am

Inuyasha had been gone for ages.

I sat on a couch covered in a blue and green speckled material, my legs tucked up under me staring at the clock.

I didn't need to watch the clock. I could hear it tick as it counted down the seconds.

I held a cup of cold vending machine coffee in my left hand. It was more brown acid than real coffee but it didn't matter, I wasn't able to force it down my throat.

Inuyasha had asked for my hope. I reached deep into the well and found it dry.

Sango sat next to me curled into a ball. Her side rose and fell in slow even lengths but I knew she was awake just past all conversation.

Her parents were in the ICU room sitting with Kohaku. The doctors expected him to give up and he wasn't having it.

I secretly wondered if this was worse because there was no coming back from where he'd gone.

Half an hour ago the police came and took the Taxi driver in for a statement. There was a chance he'd be charged with manslaughter but it was unlikely. It was an honest accident and no punishment dealt by the New York City justice system could exceed the nightmares and guilt that would plague him to the end of his days.

_-_-_-_

Kagura 4:00 am:

The combination of shock, worry, guilt, exhaustion and a good helping of Miroku's evil eggnog took over and my eyes kept closing against my will.

Sango and Miroku were in Kohaku's room; her parents were meeting with another doctor. My head tilted back and my hand fell from the couch, the tips of my fingers touching the floor. The tick of the clock rang loud in my ears but soon it faded.

_-_-_

Sesshomaru 4:20 am:

I watched the first few episodes of House. The doctor was anti-social, somewhat of an egotistical, angry crusader and all around pissy. I failed to see the resemblance Jane had insisted was there between him and me.

I glanced at the clock. Gods it was late.

Surely by now the boy was gone and well past my help. As if I'd waste one iota of my time helping a yokai slayer boy.

I picked up the remote and clicked off the TV.

I made my way through the house, the lights off and everything silent, as it should be.

The maid turned down my bed before she left around six, no doubt to attend some party of drunken debauchery.

I unbuttoned my shirt and kicked off my pants. My original intent was to leave them in a pile on the floor but instead I picked them up and arranged them neatly on the blue recliner by my highboy dresser.

I washed my face in cold water and paused to study the severe expression staring back at me in the dark mirror. I was an odd looking individual by today's media standards, yet Rin embraced me without reservation. Most mortals, the ones with common sense, feared me.

I frowned trying to determine who had changed, me or my Monkey. Earlier she'd asked if she had to hate Inuyasha just because I did.

Stupid girl, she was either unerringly loyal or perhaps she didn't know the half breed would never hurt her. Inuyasha had many faults but terrorizing small children had never been one of them, excepting for when he, himself was also a child

When he was young I'd had attend many a teacher conference; that is until I sent him away.

It was too late at night for such self examination. Besides I was the Sesshomaru, family head, corporate leader and as such I am infallible.

And before me, my father Inutaisho held the same rank and privileges. It's rather hard to argue with a man whose title dictates that he is never wrong.

But then his downfall was heard round the yokai world. A human mistress was the ultimate scandal and it fell to me to spend every waking moment since his death repairing the damage he'd done our great family. The great Inutaisho had been wrong after all.

If Inuyasha would've had the simple decency to die at birth my life would be so much easier. It's harder to forgive a great figure head his transgressions when his half blood bastard was paraded around like a prince. Any other clear thinking man would have hidden the infant away not moved him into his house.

But that was the past and it was of no matter, once Inuyasha realized he wasn't getting the Tetsusaiga back, he'd eventually give up and leave.

I slipped under my cool sheets and waited for sleep to find me.

For the briefest moment I'd had it all, the Tetsusaiga and the Witch. But now here I lay sleeping alone. The knowledge she was miserable and sick over the boy should have brought me peace but it didn't. I was oddly empty, a new feeling I was reluctant to explore.

I refused to let my brain continue on this ridiculous tangent and closed my eyes.

_-_-_

“Mmm… Sesshomaru.” Her voice was low in my ear.

My arms were wrapped around the Witch's warm and soft body. My lips rode hers as I rolled onto my back and pulled her atop me, freeing my hands to roam down her back and cup her smooth ass. Her skin was silk and I savored every inch of it.

I growled as I lifted my head and bit her shoulder, she jumped slightly and her claws dug into my arms leaving marks of her own.

The smell of her permeated my senses and I couldn't get enough of her.

_-_-_

Kagura:

I pulled Sesshomaru closer to me eager for any kind of solace and release. I wanted to hate him, though I wasn't sure why at the moment.

Oh well, whatever he'd done it couldn't be that important if I couldn't remember. Surely it could wait until morning. Right now his body was warm and welcoming and his bed was spacious and comfortable. My grateful back felt like I'd been sleeping on a tiny, cramped couch for ages.

His fangs slid into my shoulder and I hissed at the sharp pain. He laved his tongue over the bite and I relaxed against him giving him what he wanted.

Even though his mouth was other wise occupied, his voice was in my ears, no… it was in my head.

Mine. Oh Gods… Kagura. Mine.

I bent down and captured his hungry lips with mine. His hand slid up my hips and pulled me down onto him.

It was too dark for me to see his expression but when I pressed the palm of my hand to his face I felt him smile.

He kissed the center of my palm and pushed deeper. I moaned then without one coherent thought pressed my mouth to his neck and bit down hard. The last thing I heard was Sesshomaru's roar.

_-_-_-_

Sesshomaru 5:15 am

I sat abruptly in bed, my sheets glued to me by a thin layer of sweat.

I pressed my fore and middle fingers to my neck but my flesh was unbroken. I reached out beside me and found the other side of the bed cold and empty.

Suddenly I couldn't stand the feel of my blankets and pillows against my skin. I pulled free of the tangled bed sheets and stood at the foot of my bed.

I'd only been asleep a mere half hour. The room was empty and I was alone. Yet my body reeked of the light scent of mimosa. The sweet tang of her blood was on my tongue.

The Witch.

But she hadn't been here. My door was locked, the room was undisturbed. This was much worse than a mere home invasion. She'd found a way into my skull, my very brain.

I picked up the lead crystal vase from my bedside table and lobbed it across the room.

It struck the wall hard enough to mar the wallpaper and shattered into a thousand pieces.

Notes:

_-_-_-_

“You can't always get what you want, but if you try sometimes, you just might find… you can get what you need.” The Rolling Stones.

_-_-_-_

The Devil's Dictionary:

Review:To set your wisdom at work upon a book, and so read out of it the qualities that you have first read into it. (Sorry guys I couldn't resist this one.)

Responsibility: A detachable burden easily shifted to the shoulders of God, Fate, Fortune, Luck or one's neighbor. In the days of astrology it was customary to unload it upon a star.

_-_-_-_

Once again all typos all Iz's fault, by the way she's given up on American Idol and is trying out for the next season of Survivor. I can promise you if she wins I'll make sure she pays taxes on her winnings.

Things are wrapping up; we have maybe four chapters left. See I was going some place all along.

Ha! I told you I was updating regularly and here is your proof! So am I forgiven already?