InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Healing what has been broken ❯ I Love You More Than the Space Between Them ( Chapter 10 )

OKAY! HEY! I know it's been like forever since I last updated, but I had major writer's block. I have never gotten that before, and just thought it was a myth. I now know the truths of this world. Lol. Thanks a bunch to my reviewers! I love you guys so much. :D

 

 

ME: (sigh) as promised, I must give Inuyasha his ramen and also to my reviewers. Alas, I only have one cup left. (Evil glint to my eyes) Who shall get the last cup! Well, I have decided to give it to the reviewer who makes me smile and give me ideas on how to make my writing better. I love all of my reviewer, and as such, I will give you all some suckers! (Throws suckers to reviewers) The one who gets the ramen, however, is ……..(dot dot dot dot) …………..catbaker!!!!!!!!! :D (Gives catbaker Ramen)

 

INUYASHA: You….you, you WENCH!!!!!! What the hell do I get out of the deal!?!?!?!?!?!

 

ME: Well, I was going to give you some ice cream…?

 

INUYASHA: Like that could ever live up to Ramen!

 

ME: Well, what do you think I should do? Not give her ramen? She was nice to me!!!!

 

INUYASHA: KEH! Ya think I give a damn about her being nice to ya? I don't!!

 

ME: Inuyasha…..don't make me get Kagome. (Narrows eyes)

 

INUYASHA: (backs away) eh heh heh. That won't be needed Forsaken Faith. I…I can live without Ramen. (Runs out of the room shaking)

 

ME: (smirks) Thought so.

 

ONE WITH THE SHOW!!!!!!...ERRR……STORY. Ok. So this chapter will be a lot of reflections of the characters, mostly Yuki and Kagome. Who knows though, Inuyasha may get thrown in there with reflecting. Oh! I do NOT own Inuyasha! I did come close once, but the drugs didn't last long enough. (Cough) huh? What? I have no clue as to what is you speak of. (Whistles)

 

 

RECAP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

He let out a strangled gasp as he wept. He wept for her pain. The pain he caused. What he didn't know was that somewhere the voice of a broken angel wept for his pain.

END RECAP!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

I Love You More Than the Space Between Them:

 

 

`Two days. Two days without my daughter. Two days since I lost control and broke the only thing I have tried so hard to mend. I have broken the only remaining part of my daughter's soul, heart, and body.' Yuki helplessly admitted to himself. Oh how he wished he could turn back time. But isn't that the wish of every living creature on the planet? To go back and re-do everything you have done wrong, to fix all of your regrets. Yes, it would be wonderful to do such a thing. Yuki, however, knew better. He knew there was no going back. He knew he could never get rid of the guilt and agony that tore at his heart like a hungry beast. No, he could not fix this. He could not make it right. Yuki looked slowly up at the clock that adorned the bleak white walls. He saw that it was 11: 16 at night. The second day would soon overlap into the third. He had tried to go out and look for her, to see if she was alright. “What a stupid notion.” He scoffed at himself. “She is not alright, and I fear she never will be again.” He could not go out to look for her, he had promised to look after the boy. He fought with his body to move his self-loathing gaze away from the clock. He looked on at Inuyasha. He was still out cold. Inuyasha had not even moved his body from when he had hit him over the head. Inuyasha was now resting on the hospital bed that his daughter once occupied. Yuki could not even really remember knocking the poor hanyou out. Everything was like a blur. It hid away from his conscious like a small child playing hide and seek. He was never very good at that game. What he could remember was the world ending words he had never intended to say. He had said such horrendous things to his daughter. Words that would have broken even his heart, and they did. They broke it more than he could ever explain. He had caused his own misery, misery that had been reflected in the eyes of his daughter. He uncrossed his legs as he un-steadily stood from the small hospital chair he was sitting in. He took a small glance from his right eye out of the window at the moon. It was shinning brightly tonight. He wondered at that very moment if his daughter was looking at the same moon. He shook his head in grief and swiveled to look onto Inuyasha once again. He was breathing evenly, and his health was in perfect condition. There was no reason why he should not be awake by now. It was almost as if he did not wish to be awake. It was like he was letting himself die. “No, that is absurd. Why would he let himself die? Unless…….he is as broken as her. She almost let herself…d….die from the pain.” Yuki choked out as he realized the full extent of the damage, damage that he caused. He had almost killed his daughter. He may have broken her, but to have almost killed your daughter. To take away everything she had ever wanted to live for……That was far too much. Yuki let out a blockaded gasp at the revelation. He grasped his chest with his right hand. He let out a shallow breath and collapsed to his knees. “Will you ever forgive me kagome? Will you ever find it in yourself to love me again? Will you ever simply love again? Will you ever live again? Oh Kami, how I wish you would be whole once again. How I wish I wasn't the one to break you so. Please, please forgive me. No, never forgive me. Just find it in your heart to love. Find it in your heart to live. Please, please, please……” Yuki's pleas cascaded out into the crystal air as he cradled his head in his hands. The moon seemed to have grown darker at his words. The night turned into a night that would stain the memories of all.

 

 

(With kagome)

 

It was a dark and damp street that Kagome now resided in. She knew she could not go home. No, they would be looking for her. The same people who had tried to murder her. She entertained the thought of just letting herself be found. What did she have to live for? Then she thought of the look Inuyasha had given her before he had passed out. He was so desperate for her to live. He was begging with every inch of his soul. She knew she could not do something like that to him. She wished to see him. See if he was alright. She knew though, she knew that Yuki would still be there. She did not want to see him. No, she couldn't see him. Not now. Her heart felt like it was encased in frozen jewels. She knew that if she were to see him again they would all break, taking her heart along with them. Forgotten tears treaded down her porcelain cheeks as she huddled up closer to the unforgiving brick wall. She was curled up behind a large dumpster and next to the wall of a building. The alleyway was covered in dirt and small puddles of what she had not identified yet. The steadily decreasing temperature was making her bones feel like ice. She would surly die out here. She had not eaten in two long days. She had done nothing but cry. She had abandoned her needs in favor of misery. Yes, it was childish to focus on just herself, but she could not car any longer. She was all on her own, and she would die because of it. Then all her thoughts were swept into the memory of Yuki's eyes. They held such agony and remorse in their depths when she left. She could not get them out of her head. `How horrible you must feel Yuki. I know you had no control over your words, but it still killed me to hear them. You still were the one to voice them. The memory of that will haunt my being for eternity. I can not forgive you. I can't. Not now.' She confessed to herself. “I don't think I ever can.” She whispered despairingly into the night's battering breeze. She closed her eyes as she pulled her knees up to her chest. She let her head burry itself in them as she remembered a soft melody from her childhood. She had heard this song only once. It was the only thing that she remembered of her mother. Her mother had sung it for her on the night that Kio beat her mother for the last time. It was a song consisting of the pain her mother felt because of him. She remembered that night. She remembered her mother's screams. Then she remembered walking slowly down the stairs to her mother's limp body with tears clouding her vision. Her mother was in a pool of her own blood. Kagome let out a whimper as the only memory of her mother passed through her mind.

 

 

FLASHBACK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (Don't ya just love `em?)

 

 

“You fucking bitch! I told you to iron my white shirt for tomorrows meeting, didn't I?!” Yelled Kio at her mother. Kagome was covered with the blanket that belonged to her bed. Her lithe form was wracked with sobs. She could hear her mother's pleas for him to stop but he didn't, he never did.

 

 

“I'm sorry, Kio. I'll iron it right now.” Her mother said in a meek tone. She had black wavy hair that ended at her shoulders and was wearing a flower print skirt that went below her knees along with a light yellow T-shirt. She hoped he would forgive her. She knew what was going to happen though. No matter how many times she said sorry, he would never submit. He would never take that as enough. No, he had to see her bleed. She watched as his eyes darkened and his lips formed into a cruel sneer.

 

 

“Sorry? Oh you don't even understand the full meaning of the word sorry. I will make you though. Tonight you will get your first lesson.” He said as he stalked her like he was hunting. He was in his night black pants and a baggy white T-shirt. Kio let out a glare as he looked at her. He reached his right hand out and grabbed her by her raven locks. She let out an almost silent whimper as a clump was pulled roughly from her scalp.

 

 

She looked up into the eyes of the man she had so foolishly married, the man she thought she loved. If only she could turn back time. She opened her mouth to plead with him to stop this insane rampage, but she uttered not a sound. She had nothing to say that hadn't already been said. She closed her eyes and waited for the blow that would inevitably come. She was not wrong. No, she knew this man's abuse.

 

 

Kio looked down onto his wife with a sadist glimmer in his eyes. He grabbed her by the hair and pulled her to stand before him. He let a satisfied smirk pass his sealed lips as she let only a slight grimace show on her face. He looked into her pleading eyes with his own joyous ones. Oh how he loved the torture. He loved to see the pain mar the beautiful face of the one he was married to. She would pay for not following his orders. With that thought gracing his twisted mind, he took out his pocket knife. He let the red object lay un-used in his hand as he kept eye contact with the impertinent wench. He let out a menacing snarl and gave a strong tug at her hair. His eyes were changing from brown to black as he thought of what he was going to do to punish her. “Kneel before me you impudent wench!” was his snarled command. You could almost taste the barley contained rage that came with the words.

 

 

She looked up at him with remorse shinning in her hazel eyes. She opened her mouth hesitantly, but still uttered the words that were the key. This key was to the door that locked in his rage. “I will never find peace as long as I'm with you Kio. I will never feel the joy that I should. I am the mother of two, and I feel nothing but fear for them. Love, yes, I love them with all that I can. But I can no longer save them from you. Do what you will do. I know that I am far past the point of forgiving, so do what you will do.” She said with a small voice that still impossibly carried strength along with every word. She set her eyes on his darkened ones and made a wish. `Please Kami; help me keep my children alive. Let them live, they have done no wrong.' She whispered in her mind as the pain settled over her. She looked up to see him standing over her with a feral look upon his once handsome face. He had thrown her into the far wall. She had flown through the air to come into contact with the very wall she painted beige; it was now splayed with colors of red. The droplets were forming directions to her now broken body. She could feel the blood fill up her lungs as she clawed the breaths into them.

 

 

He stood over her bloodied body with the knife showing its once hidden blade. He looked down on her with bright red eyes and laughed. The laugh was not one that would warm hearts and bring feelings of love. No, this laugh was so perfect in its meaning, and it flittered across her heart. “I am going to enjoy this.” Kio laughed as he smiled down at her. These once signs of merriment, were now signs of death and insanity. She knew she would die tonight. Oh how she would miss her children.

 

 

Then the thought hit her as she saw out of the corner of her eye that Kio was beginning to kneel down on the floor. His knife was now aimed towards her stomach. `Who will protect them? Who will love them? Who will give them the life that every child needs?Kami, what if he begins to abuse them? What if he takes it out on them? Kagome, Sota…..forgive your selfish mother. Sota, you would have to become a man far before your time. Kagome, you would take my place. Oh Kami no! NO! I….I never wanted that. I never wanted that. No, he wouldn't beat you. You are his little angel. He would never harm you. Sota, you, I worry about you. I have no doubt that he will watch as your blood drains from your life-less body. I can't give up. I won't.' She thought as she saw him still looking at her as if she were some parasite. Then she saw the lamp beside the couch glow with light. That was the very first thing they had bought together. Silly? Yes. A loving memory? No. That was the first day he had hit her. It had all started out as angered yells, and then it grew to slaps, punches, and kicks. How had it come to be like this? How had it gotten so out of hand? A glimmer of silver and light caught her eye as she snapped her gaze to the now moving blade. It was going towards her stomach. The blade looked so innocent. It was shining in the light from the lamp she had just been looking at. The ghost of light disappeared as it crashed into her shirt and stomach. She let out a startled shriek as she felt it tare her skin and puncture her liver. All of the air gushed out of her as the scream ended abruptly. The slight echo of it against the now dingy walls made her cringe. The house was now completely silent. It all reminded her so much of death. All she could hear was the muffled sound of herself trying to get air into her shredded lungs. She felt the skin and muscles tare more as Kio ruthlessly twisted the now dirtied blade. She had tears in her eyes, but they never fell. They just lined her hazel coloring, adding extra shine. She shakily lifted her gaze from her wound to the man guilty of the crime. She saw a stunned expression on his face. She lazily lifted her right hand up to cup his cheek and smiled in regret and sympathy.

 

 

Kio looked brokenly from the now penetrating blade into his wife's glossing eyes. He felt her cooling hand rest on his cheek and flinched. How could he stab her!? Sure, he beat her, but he never meant to kill her. He…..he just needed to vent. He truly loved her. He felt his eyes moisten as he looked down at her. He was waiting to see if she would say anything. As he heard her breaths, and realized how shallow and shaky they were he felt a drop fall onto her paling cheek. He moved his right hand to his left eye and found what caused the splash of water. He was crying.

 

 

She looked at him with honest and pain filled eyes as she slowly opened her mouth and tried to talk. Nothing came out of her mouth. She swallowed nothing-ness and tried again. This time she got out what she had to say. Her voice was shaky and she would lose it every now and then. He throat burned in agony as she tried to talk. The rasping breaths only made matters worse. “I do not regret loving you. I only wished I would have realized the problem earlier. I could have been happy. The children could have been happy. You could have been happy. I am sorry if it hurts you to know, but I feel no love for you anymore. How could I? My savior, my murderer. You will be nothing more. These tears that you cry have come too late.” She choked out with a grimace when she ended. She let her hand fall limply from Kio's cheek and let it fall to the floor. A soft thud was heard at the contact. She slowly turned her head away to her left and looked once again upon the lamp. It represents the beginning and the end. How ironic life turns out to be.

 

 

Kio's blood boiled as he listened intently to her last words. He knew they were the truth. His heart ran cold as she said the last line. It was too late, wasn't it? It was his entire fault. Not being able to stand the guilt or the urge to smack her for the words, he stood up fast. He took one more look at her limp form then turned around, leaving the knife buried in her no longer creamy stomach. Kio walked to the front door of the house. He left his wife dieing in the living room while he went out the door.

 

 

The soft breeze from the open door caressed a weakening woman. She saw him leave out the front door. (The door was in the living room. :D Ya know…there was a walkway…then the door. Yeah.) She slowly closed her eyes as she relished it. Then she heard the muffle whimper of her young daughter. “Kagome,” She rasped out as she turned her head to the right. She looked up the stairs that lead from the living room into the second floor. She let a soft smile ghost across her aching face at the sight of her daughter. She was wearing her light pink night gown that had sliver moons and stars covering it in a random fashion. The little raven haired girl had a look of terror on her face as tears streamed down her cheeks.

 

 

Kagome was holding herself as she shook. Her breathes came in shudders as she slowly and wobbly made her way down the steps. As soon as kagome touched the ground floor she pivoted and looked straight into her mother's eyes. Her eyes widened in disbelief as she looked at the blood surrounding her mother. She also saw the bright red handle sticking out of her mother's stomach. It was surrounded in a much darker shade of red as her mother's blood continued to flow. Her bare feet padded against the hard wood floors as she moved closer to her mother. Once she got close enough to her mother she collapsed on weak legs. She fell to her knees and got her nightgown splashed with droplets of crimson. She shakily reached her hand out to her mother face but hindered as she saw her mother's eyes glaze over even more. She let out a small gasp as she felt her throat constrict in misery. Her voice was soft and questioning, but it held dread in the answer she didn't want to get. “Mother? What happened? Please tell me you're ok. Momma? Please. Please just tell me.” Kagome broke out between sobs as she choked on her tears. She looked into her mother's saddened face and cried all the more. `She's not ok.'

 

Her mother looked up and let a tear fall for what she knew she had to do. It would hurt Kagome, she knew. She knew all of this, but it had to be done. “Kagome, I am going to be alright. Promise me that you will be as well. I am leaving now. I will never return here again. Someday I will see you again. Someday I will be with you again. Just know that I love you more than the moon and the stars. Do know how much that is honey?” She shakily said to her daughter. The undertone of her voice was still soft and calm as she spoke to Kagome.

 

Kagome looked at her mother and let out a watery smile. “Yes, Momma. It's more than I could ever know. I love you more than the space between them. Do you know how much that is Momma?” Kagome said as she tried to lessen her tears. She knew this was goodbye. The knowledge shined in her eyes, along with the pain and heart break.

 

“Yes Kagome, I do. It's more than I could ever know.” Kagome's mother gasped out. Tears were streaming down her face as she said these words. Goodbyes always hurt, especially if it's to your child. “Now Kagome, I want you to love your father as much as that. I want you to tell him every day that you love him, alright? Tell him just like I always told you. I know that it will hurt for me to be gone, but be strong for me. Be the brave little Kagome that I know so well. Can you do that for me?” She took a deep breath and continued on. “I am going to help you with that pain. Is that ok Kagome?”

 

Kagome looked into her mother's eyes and saw nothing but love in them. Feeling assured, she nodded her head once again.

 

Kagome's mother let out a breath and drug one more in. “Good. I'm going to sing you a song that I have grown to love over the years. It is a sad song, but it will help you relax. It is not to you, but your father. He is a good man deep inside. He just never was very loving towards me. Give him a second chance for me.” She told her daughter. She started to hum the soft and unique tune of the song in a low tone. She then opened her mouth, took a burning breath and began singing.

 

 

Where once was light
Now darkness falls

 

 

As she sang the sad tune she lifted her hand and rested it on Kagome's damp face.

 

Where once was love
Love is no more
Don't say goodbye
Don't say I didn't try

 

 

Kagome looked at her mother and covered her mother's frozen hand with her own warm one.

These tears I cry
Are falling rain
For all the lies you told me
The hurt, the blame!
And I will weep to be so alone
I am lost
I can never go home

 

 

Kagome laid down next to her mother as she continued with a weakening voice. She cared not that she was laying in the blood of her mother. Then she felt a warm blanket surround her. She looked down at her body and saw that it was glowing a light blue. The light was coming out of her mother's hand that was resting on her back. Her mind began to get foggy as she gripped to the fading voice of her mother.

So in the end
I'll be what I will be
No loyal friend
Was ever there for me

Now I say goodbye
I say you didn't try

These tears you cry
Have come too late
Take back the lies
The hurt, the blame!

And you will weep
When you face the end alone
You are lost
You can never go home
You are lost
You can never go home

 

As the voice of her mother faded completely she felt nothing but warmth. She knew something was wrong, but could not tell what.

 

 

END FLASHBACK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

 

Kagome folded even more into herself as she hummed the tune of the long forgotten song. The words of the song were as true back then as they were in Kagome's present situation. She could not go home. She had no one to save her. The tears that Yuki cried were far too late. She was right, her mother was right when she said it was a sad song. Kagome's eyes were flooded with tears as she remembered the smile her mother gave her even when she was dieing. Even when her mother couldn't breathe correctly she was smiling. Kagome wished she could be that strong. She wished she could be more like the mother she never really knew. She wondered day in and day out why she can't remember what happened right after her mother had died and before the night she died. She could never figure it out. It was all so confusing. Was this memory even real? `Is it?' Kagome questioned herself, but answered quickly as the pain in her throat made it known. `Yes, only my neck clenches like this when I remember that night. It hurts too much to be a made up memory.' She started to rock back and forth as she remembered the pain of that night. All of the things she just didn't comprehend at that time bonded her heart to the hurt. Her thoughts once again went to Yuki. She knew her mother would have loved him. If she had ever met him, she knew it. If only her mother could come and save her now. If only she had never left her alone with her father. So many if onlys drifted around in her head. Kagome started to sing the song out loud as the memories of everything assaulted her prone form. She finished the song with fresh tears trailing down her eye lashes. She sat like that for the longest time. She just sat remembering things she wished she wouldn't. Kagome snapped out of her flashbacks as she heard the faint sound of a small splash. It wasn't near, but it was still too close for comfort. She melded her body into the wall behind her with questions written on her face. `Who is it? Why are they here at this time of night?' She wondered to herself. She listened as the foot steps grew closer and closer to where she was hiding. She tilted her head back and looked up to the blackened sky. `I love you more than the spacebetween them. Do you know how much that is mother?' She said softly in her mind. She then heard the footsteps stop right in front of the dumpster she was hiding behind. She stood slowly and crept around to the front of the dumpster. She stood tall with her head raised and her body stiff. She saw a man wearing an all grey suite. She looked him over and noticed he had no hair, brown eyes, and a pudgy face. She smiled sarcastically and said in a deadly voice. “What can I help you with sir?” She knew who this was. She could recognize his aura.

 

The man smiled a greasy smile, showing off his laugh lines. “No need deary, I have found what I need.” He said with a spine tingling chuckle.

 

Kagome folded her arms over her chest and narrowed her eyes. “And that would be?” She asked in commanding tone.

 

“Why, you of course!” That man said as if it were obvious to anyone.

 

Kagome hardened her glare as she raised her aura. “Why? Who are you?” She asked the man

 

The man looked hurt for a few seconds before flashing his yellow teeth and smiling. “I'm hurt; I thought you'd remember the one who poisoned you.”

 

 

OK! I'm done!!!!! I know!!!!!! The flash back was long! But I needed it to be! :D. Please review and tell me what you think. I love you all so much! OH! And it doesn't look as long as the other chapters, but that because there isn't as much dialogue in it. The song in this chapter Is Golum's song by Emiliana Torrini. The real lyrics are these:

Where once was light
Now darkness falls
Where once was love
Love is no more
Don't say goodbye
Don't say I didn't try

These tears we cry
Are falling rain
For all the lies you told us
The hurt, the blame!
And we will weep to be so alone
We are lost
We can never go home
So in the end
I'll be what I will be
No loyal friend
Was ever there for me
Now we say goodbye
We say you didn't try
These tears you cry
Have come too late
Take back the lies
The hurt, the blame!
And you will weep
When you face the end alone
You are lost
You can never go home
You are lost
You can never go home.

I DO NOT TAKE CREDIT FOR THE SONG! IT IS NOT MINE!!!!!!!! I twisted the words a little to fit in with my story, but the song in itself is not mine!!!!