InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Heart's Landfill ❯ Hate ( Chapter 32 )

A/N: As always all characters will be walking that fine line called OOCness. Lemon Warning!! I mean seriously people, you've been warned. For those of you that don't do lemons, skip the second part of this chapter. First, and foremost, I would like to thank all of you for your continued support, and, yes I am thanking those you who are reading, but not reviewing (wags finger). Other than that, I don't have much else to say, with the exception of a `ginormous' thanks to my beautiful beta, Neko.

Disclaimer: I do not claim ownership to anyone with the exception of Dinshu, Nola, Nya, Malcolm, and Dr. Aikio.

Chapter 32

Hate

Staring at her reflection, Kagome tried to smile the way she was going to smile at her date in a few hours, but she failed miserably.

She had tried all day to hold on to some of the happiness that Inuyasha had unknowingly brought into her life. Then she remembered that they'd crossed the friendship-line so severely this morning that they couldn't go back to the way it had been.

There was no possible way that he was going to forget the way she reacted to him, and she wasn't…couldn't get the feel of his hands, the taste of his mouth, or the lust in his eyes out of her head.

No, she knew they could never go back, but she couldn't…they couldn't move forward; it wasn't possible. He didn't want that-at least he'd never said as much-and she…she just wasn't ready for that.

Turning in the full length mirror, Kagome arched her back and ran her hand down and over her waist to her hips, smoothing out the material of the elegant, black, halter top dress that she'd decided to wear on her date.

Inuyasha hadn't called her all day, had he? When normally, they would've talked at least a few times, if only briefly, so that led her to believe that maybe he was thinking along the same lines that she was.

She couldn't say that the thought of that made her happy because quite honestly it didn't. However, a tiny voice in the back of her mind told her that maybe she should be thankful for small gifts because, if it meant what she thought it meant, then he was actually doing her a favor, right?

So if that was the case, then why did she feel like crying? Why did she feel like he'd just broken her heart when she'd never given it to him in the first place?

Blinking a few times, Kagome ran the balls of her middle fingers over her lower eyelids in order to make sure that the tears that she knew were waiting to be released hadn't started to leak of their own accord.

“I'm fine; it's for the best,” she whispered as she reached for her diamond stud earrings. After putting them in, she twirled around slowly, checking herself out in the mirror for the millionth time since she'd started getting dressed.

Running her hands lightly over her hair that she had pinned up stylishly in a loose bun with a solitary wisp of hair falling down each side of her face, Kagome's arms dropped to her sides abruptly as she stared at her reflection.

She looked perfect...absolutely perfect, didn't she? Her make-up was flawless, her skin radiant, the dress she'd chosen curled around every curve of her body as if it had been specially made for her by a top of the line designer, but inside…inside she felt ugly and bruised.

Frowning at her reflection, she swallowed as she admitted reluctantly, “I look perfect, but not for a blind date. This…this is probably what I would've worn had Inuyasha and I had a chance to go on a real date.”

A tear slipped down her cheek, and she quickly caught it and wiped it away with the ball of her thumb.

“No, Kagome, you are not going to stand here and cry over something that never was!” she bit out. “He… The two of you were nothing more than friends, and it went a little too far. This…this is for the best. It's better to end it now before someone really gets hurt,” she finished despondently as she turned away from the mirror and sat down on the edge of her bed.

Her puppy yelped softly, causing her to reach down and scoop him up. “Inu-” She stopped herself. “No, your name is Ashton because if I name you after him…after Inuyasha, I'll never get over him and I'll never let you out of my sight,” she acknowledged quietly as she leaned down and kissed the pup on the nose.

Ashton whined endearingly and licked her chin as if saying that he understood. Rubbing his furry little head against her chin, she pulled him to her possessively almost crushing his little body against her full bosom.

“My Ashton… My Inu…”

A light tapping drew her out of her private thoughts and she looked up, thinking that perhaps she was hearing things, but the sound came again, this time a little louder.

The door? Who…

She turned and stared at the digital clock on her nightstand that read 5:45 pm. “Inu…yasha,” she mumbled as she slowly stood to her feet.

She honestly hadn't thought that he would show since he hadn't called her all day. But she knew, even if she wasn't in the right frame of mind to admit it, that she was secretly holding out hope that he would, and for that reason alone… Maybe that's why she left work early and started getting dressed much sooner than she knew she should have.

Maybe it's not him, she thought, although she knew deep down that it couldn't be anyone else. Maybe he's just coming by to tell me that this isn't going to work between us and that our friendship…our friendship is- She couldn't finish that thought, didn't want to finish that thought because if it was true it would crush her, regardless of whether it was for the best or not.

Albeit half of her wanted to hide like the coward she knew she was, the other part, the more dominant part of her, forced her to move out of her room, down the hallway, through the living room, past the kitchen, and to the front door.

Foregoing asking who it was, she leaned up on her toes and peeked into the peep hole.

Inuyasha, she thought as she watched him loosen his tie and unbutton the first two buttons on his soft yellow button down shirt.

He looked up, their eyes meeting and holding the other's attention as he ordered firmly, “Kagome, I know you're there. Open the door.”

She stepped back away from the peep hole. Her heart was hammering within her chest, her hands shaking…trembling. She wanted to open the door, she really did, but if she saw him face to face…

Shaking her head, she replied too softly for human ears to hear as she stepped back up to the door so that her body was pressed against it, “You're late.”

“I'm sorry,” the hanyou whispered just loud enough for her to hear, his voice husky and laced with something that she couldn't quite discern.

Her heart swelled within her chest as she reached down and clutched the knob. She didn't know what it was that this man…this youkai…this hanyou was doing to her, but she knew she had no control over it.

It was as if her heart and her body were teaming up against her mind, because no matter how much she told herself that she didn't want him, the more desperately she wanted him…craved him…desired to be within his presence.

Fighting against it… Denying what her body, and her soul seemed to yearn for was like trying to move a mountain or swim the Pacific Ocean in a day. It wouldn't work. It…it just wasn't ever going to work.

“I…I hate you,” she whispered pitifully.

“You want to, but…you don't,” he answered quietly as the knob turned in her hand and the door pushed open.

She stepped back away from the door while trying to remember exactly when she unlocked it, but as soon as she saw him…the look in his eyes as he stared at her from head to toe, taking her in slowly, all thoughts melted away like sand into the ocean.

She didn't know what he was thinking as he looked at her, but as she stared back at him, drinking in the way his shirt hugged his shoulders, and the way his slacks were cut just perfectly to his body… The memory of that kiss, the feeling of oneness and warmth that had enraptured her that morning came flooding back with such ferocity that she shuddered and stepped towards him slowly, her hand out for him to take.

As he took it and pulled her to him in one fluid motion, she whispered weakly, moments before his lips crashed down on her own, “I…hate you.”

Simonkal of Inuy

He hadn't meant to come here. He really hadn't, and he would've liked to say that he didn't remember getting here, but he did.

He remembered every turn, every twist, every step he took to get here, to her door, and it was killing him because he knew that the moment he laid eyes on her what little resolve that he had acquired was going to evaporate into nothingness.

After his meeting with Sesshomaru and Rin had ended, he'd met with Nya for their end of week update, but she was acting a little weird so he decided that it was best to leave that as it was. He already had enough on his plate to figure out and one more thing would just cause it to crack.

Upon leaving his office, his only intention was to head home, down a couple of beers, watch a little of the stupid box-his definition of the television-and turn in early so that he wouldn't be tired when he met with Dr. Aikio the next morning. Inopportunely, as soon as he neared the exit that would take him to her place his hands, of their own accord-he would like to believe-turned the wheel slightly to the right causing him to veer off the interstate.

He'd come to a conclusion of sorts that he would visit with her just long enough for her to leave for her date and then he'd go his own way, but no matter what he did, he wouldn't make a move on her. He wouldn't try to act like he was upset about her date, and he would try-or rather do his damndest-to make her believe that he was happy for her because he was; somewhere deep down inside of him, he just knew he was.

Unfortunately, as soon as he felt her aura nearing the door, his plan started to crumble at his feet.

The moment she spoke to him through the door, his resolve faltered. Scenting her arousal, all thoughts of what he was not going to do disappeared as if they never existed.

When she whispered, “I…I…hate you.” He knew that his fate had been sealed.

As he reached for the door and turned the handle, he didn't know what he would find, but what he saw made his heart…his soul react in such a way that it left him speechless and awestruck all at the same time.

She stood there before him, looking as if she was cut straight out of one of those glamour magazines that he rarely gave a passing glance to. Her hair pinned perfectly at the crown of her head, her eyes glistening in the wane sunlight that sprinkled into the room, her lips painted plum pink, and all he could think about was how much he wanted to taste them…her again.

He knew he shouldn't be thinking along those lines, but he couldn't stop himself; it was as if it his mind…his body…his heart-at times-each had minds of their own.

Staring at her from head to toe and back again, he slowly took in the halter top dress she was wearing and the rise of her breasts as her cleavage pushed up over the top of the damnable garment.

Swallowing hard, Inuyasha tried to tell himself that he should get out of there before he did something colossally stupid like pull her to him and kiss her, but he didn't…he couldn't move.

Instead, he stood there eyeing her womanly curves, enjoying the sumptuous arc of her hips, the flatness of her stomach, and the sensuous line of her elegant tantalizing neck.

Whatever magic she had over him, he realized as she held her hand out to him and he took it, was a powerful, exhilarating, demanding, and possessive thing.

“I…hate you,” she whispered as he slipped his arm around her waist and crushed his lips against hers in a kiss that was meant to tell her all the things that he would never be able or willing to say.

They devoured each other's lips with the ferociousness of hungry tigers as their hands roamed swiftly over each other's bodies.

Kagome pulled desperately at the tie that he'd loosened earlier with one hand while her other hand reached for his belt and quickly released the end of it from the buckle that held it closed.

Inuyasha buried his claws into the roots of her hair as he pulled her closer and unknowingly guided her towards the couch. He felt her pulling at his shirt and he stopped for a fraction of a second and ripped it open, sending buttons flying to the far corners of her living room.

She looked at him, and then at the buttons, her eyes hungry and wanton as her chest heaved up and down. Reaching up, Kagome parted his shirt with her hands and ran both of them across his muscular chest as she stepped towards him once more. Dragging her hands up and over his shoulders, she pushed against the fabric of the shirt until it slipped down his defined biceps and onto to the floor behind him.

Running her hands up and down his chest, over his stomach to the button of his slacks, she bit her bottom lip lightly as she stared into his eyes begging him to understand the things she just wasn't strong enough to say.

Inuyasha reached up, caressed her neck, and ran the ball of his thumb along her chin.

Tilting into his touch, Kagome's lips parted as she closed her eyes and allowed herself to get lost in his touch. Dipping her head just a little, she placed soft kisses against the pad of this thumb, seconds before drawing it into her mouth.

Inuyasha growled low as he marveled at the warmth of her mouth against his skin and the sheer expertise of her tongue as it swirled around his digit. Her aura…the glow that laid over her like a heavily feathered duvet; it was…it was something of another world...something that he knew he was not meant to see or experience.

Damn.

Removing his finger from her mouth, he dipped low and captured her lips once more as he reached for her waist and picked her up so that her legs were wrapped around his hips.

Laying her down on the couch, they continued to ravish each other's mouths as the need…the desire…the want…the lust between the two of them grew by insurmountable bounds with each moment that passed.

“Take this off,” the hanyou demanded, talking about the dress that was getting in his way. He didn't care how she did it; he just wanted her out of it and the faster, the better.

“Get up,” Kagome replied obediently.

Inuyasha pushed back so that she could maneuver from beneath him, but he didn't take his eyes from her as she stood to her feet, her back to him. He watched her reach for the side of the dress-just below her arm-and slowly begin to pull the hidden zipper down.

The material fell away, revealing succulent, tanned flesh, a black lace bra, and a pair of black thong panties that dove up from the crack of her ass so perfectly that the hanyou couldn't stop himself from moving towards her.

Kagome gasped as she felt his strong hands encircle her waist pulling her back to him. His mouth, hot, wet, and all too inviting was on the side of her neck, leaving a trail of hot kisses down to her shoulder. She moaned as her head fell lethargically to the side; giving him all the access he desired as her hips undulated back against the hardness that pressed against her supple backside.

Inuyasha groaned, wanting nothing more than to just bend her over and take her with as much fervor as he could muster, but he knew she deserved better than that. She deserved to be handled with care.

He could smell her arousal all around him, clouding his mind and clogging his senses in such a way that she was all he saw and all he knew at that moment. His hands moved down her flat stomach, over her slim waist, seeking out her nest.

Dipping his hand lower, the hanyou palmed her heated core, and then allowed a solitary finger to slide smoothly between her wet slit. It was so hot…so inviting that he found it hard to control himself as he slipped two fingers into her while thumbing gently at her clit.

She rocked against him, her body trembling as he ran the tip of this claw carefully over her clit repeatedly, causing her to hiss his name as her head thrashed back and forth.

Removing his hand, the hanyou cut through the skinny straps that held her thong together and pulled it away as he lowered the both of them down to the floor. Kagome tried to turn to face him, but he whispered, “Don't; I want you just like this…for now.”

She didn't know what to think, so she didn't try to. Instead, she allowed her mind to focus only on the feel of his hands on her body and his lips trailing slow kisses down her spine. Other than that, nothing else mattered-nothing.

Kagome tensed and relaxed as his tongue trailed slowly down the crack of her ass moments before she felt him palm her cheeks, part them, and his tongue dive in, devouring her as if he was bobbing for apples.

For a brief nonexistent moment she couldn't help but to be thankful that she'd taken that long hot bath, but that was as far as her thoughts went because his tongue, it was like a sliver of heaven itself-or could it have been hell? He pushed her to the brink, pulled her back again, and caused parts of her to awaken that she wasn't aware even existed.

Inuyasha rocked back, lifted her higher so that her knees were on his shoulders, her face still toward the ground, and he dove in again. He lapped at her nest, nibbled on her clit, and forced his tongue to linger in areas that he knew would only serve to drive her a little crazier.

He reveled in every jerk, rock, and twist of her body while memorizing every incomprehensible mumble, moan, and groan that escaped her.

She tasted like…like strawberries and the icing off a child's birthday cake. She tasted like a cold glass of water on a hot summers day, or a beer after a long day of work. She tasted…she tasted like redemption and death, fire and ice, poison and the cure.

Kagome moaned orgasmically as he lifted her higher with one hand while parting the lips of her shaven lady with his other hand. Her knees still balanced on his shoulders, she began to tremble uncontrollably as his tongue slipped into her and his experienced mouth simultaneously began sucking at her inner lips.

She was trying to hold herself up, but as the trembles grew stronger her arms began to shake uncontrollably. She tried to hold on to what little shred of decency she had left.

Unfortunately, that battle was lost the moment she felt the coils that had wrapped tightly around that special area of her abdomen snap loose with a vengeance, causing her to cry out as an orgasm unlike any she had ever felt in her life ripped its way through her. It caused her mind, her world to twist into a million and seventy different hues of colors she wasn't aware existed.

Inuyasha knew she was cumming, he could tell by the spike in her scent, and he dove in deeper with his tongue as he tickled her clit with the ball of his thumb, forcing her further over the edge and into the blissful abyss that awaited her.

As she began to calm down, he lowered her down so that she was lying flat on her stomach before him, her breathing labored, almost a pant. Stretching out over her, he balanced himself so that his weight was on his hands as he whispered in her ear, “Are you okay?”

Kagome nodded, but she didn't respond verbally. Instead, she closed her eyes tighter and tried to will away the stars that were flying erratically before her.

Adjusting his member, which wanted nothing more than a taste of her, the hanyou bit down on his lower lip as he reached down and flipped her over? Staring down at her, he smiled as she cracked one eye open and peered up at him shyly.

Sitting down on the floor beside her, he asked jokingly, “What the hell do you have to be shy about? I'm the one that's wearing you all over my face.”

Kagome blushed and tried to cover her private parts, but Inuyasha slapped her hands away. “You know, when you should have done that, you didn't, so don't try it now.”

As she reluctantly stretched out again, the hanyou allowed his head to fall back against her entertainment center as he reached out and ran his claws tenderly over her flat stomach.

“What…what are you waiting for?”

Cracking one golden eye open, the hanyou questioned, “What?”

“What are you waiting for?” Kagome repeated as she stared up at him, all shyness that she may have been feeling falling to the wayside.

Eyeing her curiously for a brief moment the hanyou replied, “Just because I did that to you doesn't mean that we need to go any further than that.”

“But you…you didn't-“

“I know,” he stated softly as he watched her push herself up so that she was leaning back on her elbows.

“Well, I can't really go on my date now; it wouldn't be right. So…”

Inuyasha looked at her, wondering exactly where she was going with this line of rambling. “So…”

She smiled, chewed on her lower lip as she reached around and unfastened the strapless bra she was still wearing. Pulling it off, she twirled it around her finger a few times as she glanced at him, her eyes twinkling with unhidden mischief. Dropping the bra to the side, she sat up and murmured seductively, “I don't do anything halfway, Inuyasha.”

His breath caught in his throat at her admission. The sight of her full, beautiful breast, her rose colored pert nipples...

Dragging his eyes away from her chest, the hanyou swallowed as he reached out and pulled her towards him. “I'm so glad you said that because neither do I,” he advised as his lips descended on hers once more.

Simonkal of Inuy

Ginta stared at the wall of his hotel room, his head throbbing violently from the beating he'd taken the night before.

All in all, he supposed that he couldn't be mad about it because he deserved it. Every punch, every degrading word that fell from the hanyou's mouth, he deserved.

After he'd peeled himself up off the dingy floor of the bar and made his way back to his hotel room, he'd told himself that he still wanted to speak with Kagome, but he quickly decided that that was nothing more than a crazy man's death wish. The hanyou had made his point quite clear, hadn't he?

He'll protect her. He's the only one that can, he thought as he shoved the rest of his belongs back into his bag.

Maybe his plan hadn't gone as he had intended, but at least he put the word out to someone that he knew…believed was more than capable of shutting Kouga down, should he show his snide face. Therefore, Ginta decided that made this impromptu trip was worth it.

The sound of his cell ringing cut through the wolf demon's thoughts and he growled.

Hitting the connect button, Ginta placed the phone to his ear and snapped, “What?”

“Yo, where the hell have you been? I've been calling you for four fucking days,” Hakkaku questioned.

“Does it fucking matter?”

Ginta heard his brother shift the phone as the noise in the area he was in decreased dramatically. He figured wherever Hakkaku was, he'd just either stepped outside or into a quieter room.

“Where in the fuck have you been?” Hakkaku questioned again, his voice more demanding than before. “And don't fucking lie to me because I know you're not in Kyoto!”

Ginta scoffed dryly and retorted, “What, I need to check in with you before I do something now?” Not waiting for a response, he finished, “Last time I checked, I was grown fucking youkai!”

“You know what, fuck it! I don't even want to know. Just get your ass back to Kyoto because we're coming home early!”

“What? Why?” Ginta questioned, trying to keep the anxiety that had crashed down on him from showing through.

“Kouga decided this morning that he'd let Ayame and her sister finish the rest of the trip by themselves. Anyway, that's beside the point. Ginta, you need to get your ass back to Kyoto and have some info for Kouga by the time he gets there.”

Snorting, the wolf demon sat down on the edge of the bed, his head throbbing even more than it was a few moments ago. “And if I don't, what…what's going to happen? He's going to throw a fucking tantrum?”

Hakkaku was quiet, almost too quiet, and it unnerved Ginta, but he didn't comment.

“He said if you don't have any info for him, you're out.”

Hakkaku swallowed hard.

The walls around him… They were…they were closing in on him, weren't they? And there wasn't really a thing he could do about it.

He knew what out meant. They all knew what out meant; it meant that Kouga had basically told his own twin brother that he was going to kill him if he didn't give him what he wanted, that's what it meant.

He figured he should've been scared or upset or something along those lines, but he wasn't-not really. He supposed he'd accepted his fate a long time ago in some respects, so having it said out loud now really didn't change a damn thing.

“Ginta, are you listening to me? Did you hear what I just said?”

Sighing lightly, he replied dejectedly, “Yeah, I heard you.”

“So…”

“So what the fuck do you want me say?”

“What do I want you to say?” Hakkaku snapped, irritated at his brother's nonchalance. “I want you to fucking act like your life matters! Give him what he wants, damn it! Stop playing this holier-than-thou role, shit!”

Ginta thought about that for a fraction of a second before he pushed it away. “No, Hakkaku, I don't think I'm going to do that.”

“Are you fucking crazy?” his brother shouted into the phone. “Why the fuck not?”

“Tell me something, brother. When that shit happened with Dinshu and Kagome, why didn't you stop it? You were there way before I was and you probably knew about it ahead of time. So…so why didn't you stop it?”

There was nothing but silence on the other end of the phone, so Ginta continued, “You know we…we let him rape her, right? I mean…even though she doesn't know it happened, it was still rape, and we let Kouga set it up to happen. ” The wolf demon was quiet for a moment then finished, “You know…we might as well have fucked her ourselves.”

“Ginta, don't…don't… We-” Hakkaku stuttered.

Cutting him off, Ginta stated sadly, “It doesn't really matter whether it's by Kouga's hands or someone else's; I deserve whatever happens to me, Hakkaku, because I let it happen.”

“Look, that's water under the bridge. What's done is done, Ginta.”

“No, it's not. And it will never be done until all of us, including you, pay for what we put her through,” Ginta admonished acerbically.

“I gotta go. Just…just have some information for Kouga when we get there,” Ginta heard his brother say seconds before the phone went dead in his ear.

Closing the phone, he stood to his feet and sighed as he grabbed his bag off the bed.

It was time, wasn't it? It was time for him to pay for what he'd done and maybe just maybe in the end-even if he wasn't there to witness it-maybe Kouga, Dinshu, and Hakkaku would have to pay as well.

Simonkal of Inuy

Sighing lightly, the hanyou's head turned away from the moonlight that was streaming in through Kagome's bedroom window as his eyes opened slowly to darkness and the soothing beat of another heart that was lying beside his.

Staring down at her as she snuggled a little closer to him, the hanyou smiled wanly as he reached down and pulled the cover up so that it was covering her shoulders.

They had done it… Gone all the way… Did the do… Slapped monkeys… Made love… Fucked… Whatever it was that you wanted to call it, they had done it, and it was like nothing he'd ever experienced before.

It wasn't the actions or the positions that they'd utilized, no. It was more than that. There was a connection between them. Something so strong and viable that it was as if he could taste it, touch it, see it, feel it in every nerve of his body, and hold it in his hands.

It was like they were one being recreating a timeless masterpiece that had been done a zillion times before, yet it felt like the first time-always the first time.

He couldn't explain it. As she ground down onto him time and time again… As he caressed her hips, rocking her back and forth on top of him… As he sucked needingly on her breasts…her belly button…her tongue… As she stared into his eyes defiantly, refusing to look away… As she dug her nails into his back, whispered his name repeatedly, and hissed, “I…I…hate you,” as she came for the third time that night…

It was like they had done that a thousand times before; it was familiar, so fucking familiar, and yet so new. She…she was familiar to him in a way that no one had ever been before.

Pulling her closer, the hanyou kissed the top of her head as he stared at the clock that read 10:45 p.m. It was still early yet, and he supposed that, if he wanted to, he could still make it home and into bed so that he could make his appointment in the morning. But for the life of him, he couldn't make his legs move or his arms release her.

He…he didn't want to release her, ever, he realized begrudgingly.

What have I done? he thought to himself as she moaned lightly and ran her hand across his chest to his side, as if telling him that she wasn't going to let him go anywhere.

He knew after tonight, after what they shared, that they weren't just friends anymore-they were more than friends, much more, but a relationship…

No, he wasn't ready to even think about that yet.

Part of him hated himself for being so weak that he couldn't walk away, but the other part of him, the part that seemed to be a glutton for punishment, relished in the fact that he had allowed himself to feel such things again. So where did that leave him, really? What did this mean for her? What would it mean for them?

Closing his eyes, the hanyou pulled her a little closer, deeply inhaled her scent, and hated himself just a little more for doing it.

What have we done, Kagome?

Until Next Time… (Your .02 cents are greatly appreciated!)

Next Chapter: The Truth about Last Night

Acknowledgements:

Niicko ~ 1love1 ~ Midoriko-sama ~ Angel-up-above-heaven ~ Inuyasha Baby Bre ~ Furure Author ~ Silverwolfhalfbeast ~ Little Miss Lulu ~ Mynera ~ Silent Reader ~ Olddog333 (Lion, tigers, and bitches, eh? (LOL)) ~