InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Heartache ❯ Suicidal tendancies ( Chapter 1 )
[ Y - Young Adult: Not suitable for readers under 16 ]
By: stolen soul 
This is just the first half. I demand ten reviews before i add any more to this site. not to be bitchy sounding or anything, but i want reader input, even if you have nothing nice to say.
Anime/Manga: InuYasha Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Horror / Romance | Type: Other | Uploaded On: 01.03.2006 | Pages: 5 | Words: 8.3K | Visits: 437 | Status: Work In Progress
This is just the first half. I demand ten reviews before i add any more to this site. not to be bitchy sounding or anything, but i want reader input, even if you have nothing nice to say.
Anime/Manga: InuYasha Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Horror / Romance | Type: Other | Uploaded On: 01.03.2006 | Pages: 5 | Words: 8.3K | Visits: 437 | Status: Work In Progress
Blood spilled from the wounds in her wrist, tears streaming down her cheeks, leaving shiny streaks and matting her long black hair.
'Why did he do that? 'She thought the image of Inuyasha and Kikyo together flashing through her mind, attached to his scream of "I'm leaving you!" Another sob escaped from her throat, and Kagome picked up the razor blade again and made a fresh cut, deep and long into her arm near her elbow, the pain lasting only a second or two as the blood began to flow freely in a dark red river.
In the next room, their room, Inuyasha furiously packed his small pack with everything he had brought from his time. He paused for a moment, looking at the picture of him and Kagome, the woman he had loved for so long, held in perfection in a gorgeous silver frame that she had bought just for it, as a present for him. He took it in his hands and threw it as hard as he could into the far wall and watched it shatter. 'Just like she shattered us.' he thought bitterly, zipping the bag up. He could smell Kagome's blood, and his heart ached, but he didn't go in and comfort her. He had done that too much these past two years. He went out of the room, ignoring Kagome in the living room and walked out of the front door, slamming it hard enough behind him to break three panels of glass in the windows. Kagome waited a few minutes to get up, no longer crying. She stood shakily, wiping the salty tears from her face and neck and went into the small bathroom. She stared at her reflection in the mirror over the sink, at the patches of red and milky white on her face, at her puffy brown and blood shot eyes. She looked at even the scars on her neck, the teeth marks left from the bastard who had raped her, the hanyou Naraku.It made her think of all the times she had woken up screaming, and Inuyasha had always calmed her and held her until she went to sleep again. She looked at her arm, the painful image again in her mind, and she knew that it was over. All of it was over thanks to Kikyo.
'All of it's gone. He's gone. He's never going to come back. Not after the way I yelled at him and called him all those names. Well, I guess then I'm gone, too. I'm nothing to him! All he's ever cared about is that fucking dead whore! How did she even get here? I don't care I just wish she would DIE!' She struck the mirror with a shaking fist, glass flying everywhere, cutting her hand. A tear slipped down her cheek, and she began rummaging around in the open medicine cabinet and found a full bottle of aspirin. She went and turned on the only song that fit her mood (even though I fucking hate it, it seemed to fit) Nickel back 'Someday'. The lyrics started as she went and got a glass of water and retrieved the razor blade from the floor.
How the hell did we wind up like this?
Why weren't we able to see the signs that we missed and tried to turn the tables?
I wish you'd unclench your fists and unpack your suitcase
Lately there's been too much of this, but don't think it's too late
Nothings wrong just as long as you know that someday I will
Someday, somehow I'm gonna make it alright, but not right now
I know you're wondering when
(You're the only one who knows that)
Someday, somehow I'm gonna make it alright, but not right now
I know you're wondering when
And I hope that since we're here anyway, we can end it, saying
Things we've always needed to say, so we can end up staying
Now the story's played out like this just like a paperback novel
Let's rewrite an ending that fits instead of a Hollywood horror
Nothings wrong just as long as you know that someday I will
Someday, somehow I'm gonna make it alright, but not right now
I know you're wondering when
(You're the only one who knows that)
Someday, somehow I'm gonna make it alright, but not right now
I know you're wondering when
(You're the only one who knows that)
How the hell did we wind up like this?
Why weren't we able to see the signs that we missed and tried to turn the tables?
I wish you'd unclench your fists and unpack your suitcase
Lately there's been too much of this, but don't think it's too late
Nothings wrong just as long as you know that someday I will
Someday, somehow I'm gonna make it alright, but not right now
I know you're wondering when
(You're the only one who knows that)
Someday, somehow I'm gonna make it alright, but not right now
I know you're wondering when
(You're the only one who knows that)
I know you're wondering when
(You're the only one who knows that)
I know you're wondering when
"It's not going to be okay." Kagome said.
She quickly dialed Miroku and Sango's number for the last time and heard it ring twice before Sango picked up.
"Hey, Kagome, what's going on?"
"I'm sorry."
"For what?"
”This.”
CLICK!
Kagome put the phone down on the kitchen counter and let another sob escape her throat.
`Do it!' a voice in her head told her, one that was chillingly familiar to her.
`Cut your veins open. Watch your life pour from your hands. It's what you want. You know it is!' As if possessed, Kagome grabbed the bottle of aspirin and swallowed a fistful at a time. She then drank the glass of water, washing down the mass of the white pills. She then sat down on the linoleum floor of the kitchen. The lyrics of the song still played through her mind, and she allowed herself to fully break down and cry, loud, shuddering sobs escaping from her throat, and then she felt a rippling pain cross through her chest when her heart beat. `It's time.' The voice now said. Kagome took hold of the razor blade again and pulled the sleeves of her sweatshirt up, the insides now covered with still-fresh blood and stared at her arms. They were covered in scars and new red cuts, symbols of hatred and pain on her body, carved by her own two hands. So many. Hundreds, thousands; she didn't even know. “Four final cuts and it'll all be over. No more nights, no more pain.” She said, pressing the small blade into her skin, leaving only enough out so she could maneuver it into making a long, straight cut across her veins, catching the small bones of her wrist, causing excruciating pain that didn't go away after a second or two. When the veins were cut and the blood flowed freely, She placed the blade in again, this time cutting the long way down, nearly to her elbow, slicing the vein open entirely. Blood streaming from her arm, splattering onto her pants, Kagome cut the other wrist likewise. The world swam before her, spinning closer into darkness. She felt herself drifting, and numbly hit the floor. A bright light was in front of her eyes, radiant and beautiful, seemingly to call her from above, a golden staircase leading up to it. All fear and pain had left her, and she began climbing up, each step causing a little more of her form to fall away, till there was nothing left of her old life. Just as she reached the top, the light faded away. The stairs beneath her vanished, and her old self returned. “NO!” she screamed in despair.
There was nothing around her now except the darkness.
`Is this hell?' she wondered to herself. She didn't know how long she had drifted before she heard another voice.
“Why did you do this, Kags?”
“Sango!” she cried, recognizing the voice.
“We love you, even if you don't love yourself. You're such an amazingly wonderful person. Don't leave us yet!” Sango's voice said, crying. “Wake up!”
Kagome opened her eyes. Sango was sitting next to her on a bed with a metal frame and there was a machine beeping nearby. `I'm in a hospital. I'm alive.'
“Kagome!” Sango cried, hugging her friend in relief. “What the fuck did you do that for? I'm gonna fucking kick your ass! You're so stupid!”
“Sorry, Sango. It was just too much for me to deal with. I'm sorry I hurt you.” Kagome said, her voice weak. She looked over Sango's shoulder and saw Miroku standing beside the bed, relieved, but still pale. “Glad we didn't lose you, Kagome.” He said, giving her a weak smile. `Kami, I am stupid! Even if Inuyasha doesn't love me anymore, the others still do. How could I hurt them like this? Oh well, we'll all work it out. I just better not see that hanyou again any time soon!'
“Kagome, where's Inuyasha?” Sango asked. “I would've thought he'd be here from the beginning; after all he's the one who called the ambulance.”
The girl gasped, surprised, but then again she figured that it made sense. “He's the whole reason I did this in the first place. I caught him kissing Kikyo.”
“Kikyo? How the hell did she get here?” Miroku asked.
“She can get through the well I guess, after all, we can.” Kagome said. Miroku nodded, still looking mad, though.
“She had the nerve to come after Inuyasha, and he had the gall to take her back with open arms? I'm gonna kick his stupid ass for this!” Sango yelled, walking towards the door.
Guilt felt like a heavy stone in his chest as he walked towards the hospital, the scent of the roses in his arms intoxicating his sense of smell.
`I really fucked up this time. Why did I say those things to her?' Inuyasha thought, walking up the sloped sidewalk towards the entrance. In his mind he replayed the painful fight over. He heard his own voice scream at her harshly,” I'm leaving you!” `That look in her eyes…I thought she was going to shatter into a thousand pieces right there. Why didn't I go in and talk to her? I could smell her blood; I knew she was going to take it too far. Kami, I'm a bastard!' He walked up to the nurse behind the desk, who was taking a call. He waited impatiently for her to notice he was standing there.
“May I help you?” she finally said.
“Yes, I'm here to visit Kagome Higurashi. Is that okay?”
“She has two visitors right now, but you're welcome to go in, I believe she is conscious.”
“Thank you.” He said, following her scent to her room, where he knew Sango and Miroku already were. He paused outside the door, for he heard her weak voice. “ He's the whole reason I did this in the first place. I caught him kissing Kikyo.”
`That's salt in an open wound.' He thought. `But then again, I deserve as much.'
“Kikyo? How the hell did she get here?” Miroku's voice.
“She can get through the well, I guess. After all, we can.” `Kagome.' He thought, longingly. He felt the box stuffed into his denim jeans' pocket. `Please don't hate me forever!'
“Kikyo had the nerve to come after Inuyasha, and he had the gall to take her back with open arms? I'm gonna kick his stupid ass for this!” `Uh oh, that's Sango's voice!' he thought. He heard her get up and start to walk towards the door.
`Kami help me!' he prayed, sucking in a breath and stepping into the doorway. Sango was making her way towards the door, her rage like electricity around her. Not even Miroku dared to try to stop her. As she was a few paces away from the door, the hanyou stepped out, a morose look on his face.
“You!” Sango cried, raising a fist.
“Wait! I came to apologize!” he cried, raising an arm over his face in defense. He showed the roses to prove his point. Sango raised her fist a little higher, but Kagome said, “Let him say his piece, then rip him into pieces, if you want.”
“All right, I don't see the use, though.” Sango said, still giving Inuyasha the most evil glare imaginable. Inuyasha gulped, and looked at Kagome, fear replaced by sorrow and pain, the little weight of guilt in his chest getting ten times heavier.
“Kagome, I'm not going to make excuses. I'm a bastard for what I said to you, but I never wanted to kiss Kikyo in the first place. She just jumped on me right as you were looking. I'm sorry that I wasn't there to talk to you and take the blade away. I can never make amends for that.”
“Yeah, you can, by getting the fuck out of here! I don't care what you say, or how sorry you are! That won't fix a goddamn thing, Inuyasha! I'm done with you, I fucking hate you! GET OUT OF HERE!” she screamed, picking up the heavy vase that sat next to the bed and throwing it at him with all the strength she could muster. It broke over his chest, knocking the breath out of him.
He merely stood for a second, his head down. Kagome stared at him, and to her amazement, she realized that he was crying.
“You want me gone, Kagome, then I'm gone.”
He numbly walked to the bed, laid the roses at her feet, and took out the black velvet box from his pocket and gently tossed it in her lap. The others couldn't see, but a tear fell from his amber eyes and fell onto the white blanket that covered her. He turned without another word and left.
Sango closed the door, no longer angry.
“What's in the box?” Miroku asked.
Kagome had opened it when they weren't looking and felt a fresh wave of pain at what she saw. In the box was a beautiful diamond ring in what she saw was pure silver. On the band, inscribed with obviously skilled craftsmanship were the words:
My most sacred jewel.
She bent her head down, replacing the ring in its box and let it fall from her hands. She pulled her knees up to her chest and laid her head on them and sobbed, Miroku and Sango at the foot of the bed, not really knowing what to do.
“Kagome, it's going to be all right.” Sango said, attempting to soothe her friend.
“I am so sick of hearing those words! Nothing is going to be all right, it never has been to begin with!” she sobbed. They continued to sit with her, wondering how she was going to get back to the way she was before. `I want the old Kagome back, before any of this happened.' Sango thought, remembering the day that they had been forced to flee for Kagome's safety. She pushed the painful image away, and thought instead of what had just happened. `Where is Inuyasha going to go?' she wondered. `Probably back to our time.'
Hollow.
That's the only way to describe what the hanyou was feeling. Emptiness now that Kagome was gone and would possibly be gone forever. `I can't stay here.' He thought, miserably. `I shouldn't have been here in the first place. This isn't my time. It's hers. I'm going home.' He took everything he had packed up the night before and made his way to the house where Kagome had grown up, where the Bone Eater's well was located, the portal connecting the two times.
Nobody lived there anymore, but Souta, Kagome's kid brother, sometimes stopped by to take care of it, in case they ever needed it.
`Wonder if the punk's there.' Inuyasha thought. As he approached the house, he saw the kid's car parked in the driveway. A scent hit him suddenly, one that he never wanted to smell again.
Bones and graveyard soil. Kikyo.
He went to the well house, where the scent was strongest. He went into the small shed and there she stood, ghostly white and reeking of the souls of the dead. “Kikyo! What are you doing here other than making my life Hell?” he shouted at her, the emptiness inside him replaced by rage. She smiled wickedly and said in that dull voice of hers, “Inuyasha, I thought you were glad to see me. You didn't back away when I came to embrace you.”
“I was shocked! I didn't think you could come here! I don't want you, I want Kagome! You took her away from me!” he yelled, his hands balling into fists.
“I took nothing from you but a final kiss. And now, I'm taking your life.”
Before he could react, Kikyo had sunk a knife into his abdomen.
His knees buckled and he fell to the ground, the hilt of the blade protruding from his stomach. His hand slowly reached for it, but was deflected by a barrier. Kikyo laughed softly and said,
“The blade is poisoned. You will die in a few seconds.”
Blood pooled into the back of his throat and forced him to cough, sending large drops of the red liquid into the air to splatter the ground in front of him. He could feel the poison working in him, flooding his veins, wreaking havoc everywhere it touched. His pack had fallen and he dimly saw the Tetsusaiga in its sheath a few feet away. He couldn't reach it. `Oh no! If I don't have the Tetsusaiga, I'll change into a demon!”
As the poison spread, he heard a loud, ominous laughter, and the scent of miasma filled his nose, mingled with the scent of his own blood.
“No!” he said, recognizing the voice and the scent of its owner. “He can't come here! He can't hurt Kagome!”
The figure of Naraku emerged from the well, laughing manically and finally saying, “So, Inuyasha, this is where you've been hiding! It took me two years to find you and that priestess. With Kikyo's help, I was able to track you all down. She belongs to me, Inuyasha. I made my mark!”
“Fucker! You raped her! You don't deserve to be alive!” Inuyasha yelled, but he couldn't attack. The poison had taken effect; he was dying as he spoke. A rage filled him, so deep within his soul, he was surprised it didn't render his flesh in shreds. A growl escaped his throat, low and deep within his chest, and he suddenly knew where it came from. `I'm transforming again. My demon blood is devouring my human soul, piece by piece. The Tetsusaiga can stop it, but I can't reach it!' Then he thought no more of his human heart.
He looked at the hanyou before him, and the only desire that raged through his flesh was the desire to kill and keep killing.
Naraku looked mildly surprised at the change in the half-breed that seemed to be dying. “What is this?” he asked, bemusedly. “You have the scent of a full fledged demon. How can this be?”
Inuyasha felt the rage seep into his very blood, and he felt the wound begin to hurt less and less. He reached again for the blade, the barrier of the hilt burning his hands, but he couldn't feel it. He wrenched it from his body, and in one motion, he cut Kikyo's head from her shoulders. He stood, watching the clay body decay rapidly, like that of a demon, the souls that had kept her alive darted upwards out of her in blue orbs of lights.
Naraku looked stunned, but quickly got over it, seeing the newly transformed demon turn to face him. Inuyasha's eyes glowed blood red, the purple streaks marking power on his cheeks, fangs of great size proudly displayed. His claws were huge, lethally sharp and waiting to be covered in blood.
Naraku manipulated the miasma around them to create a barrier between him and the bloodthirsty demon and disappeared. Inuyasha followed his scent, invigorated by the chase. A human scent caught him off guard, a human he recognized. He went into the house part of the shrine to see Souta knocked unconscious in the living room floor, a small amount of blood coming from his mouth. Some dim, small part of him, far away it seemed, cried out in concern, but the demon shut it out. The human being no threat to him, he left, once more following the scent towards the city, back towards Kagome.
Kagome slept in the hospital bed, a shadowy figure coming towards her in her dreams. It called her name in a voice she recognized as Inuyasha's, and she came towards it, hoping to see him again.
“Inuyasha!” she called, pain and worry etched clearly in her voice. “Inuyasha, I'm so sorry! I love you, please come back!” tears flowed down her cheeks when nothing emerged from the darkness.
Laughter followed her apologies, her screams, and finally someone did emerge, but it wasn't Inuyasha.
A hanyou with black hair and evil cinnamon colored eyes came from the darkness, laughing at her as she ran away in horror, screaming and crying for help.
“What's the matter, Kagome? Can't help yourself? I can help you, if you come to me.”
“Stay the fuck away from me!” she screamed, running and running, trying to get away from the evil voice that tried to follow her.” Run all you want, Kagome. You can't escape me. In fact, you may come to see me sooner than you think.”
Kagome opened her eyes, her breathing jagged and her heart pounding as if she'd been running. Cold sweat covered her, and she tried to calm herself, saying that it was only a dream.
“Was it?”
Her head snapped up, and she was sure she was still dreaming. In the doorway stood none other than Naraku, in the flesh, those evil bloody eyes mocking her.
“Ah, Kagome, my long-lost mate. How could you run away after I took you?”
“I'm not your mate! I'm Inuyasha's!”
“Oh?” he said, coming towards her.
`Oh, Kami, I can't run away! He's right in front of the door and I'm hooked up to all these fucking machines!'
“Is that why you have my mark on your neck?”
“Fuck the stupid mark! You bit me, so what?” Kagome spat at him, trying to keep the tears of fear and rage from falling.
“In demon law, that makes you mine. Your life, your heart, and your body belong to me.” Naraku said in her ear, his closeness making her skin crawl. “There's nowhere to run, nowhere you can hide. Inuyasha is dead. You are mine.”
His words stunned her, but she refused to believe it was true. In the one second of shock, her defenses were down, and Naraku lunged at her neck and once more sank his fangs into her soft flesh. He covered her mouth with his hand as she tried to scream, the tears finally spilling down her face.
His teeth left her neck, the flesh bleeding freely, and, to Kagome's horror, he began to lap up the blood that spilled from the wound.
“My god, you are sweet.” He said into her ear.
She couldn't move away, not for lack of trying, but it seemed her body was frozen. She looked out of the door, and saw the dark purple clouds of miasma pouring into the room. No sounds came from the hospital, no nurses running past with their clipboards, no announcements over the intercom.
All was still, except the demon attached to Kagome's neck, drinking the small amounts of blood that spilled from her wound.
Naraku's hands began traveling towards Kagome's shirt, and she felt her heart beat speed up, for she knew what was coming.
“No… Not again!” she cried, finding power enough to speak only through her fear.
“You have no choice. You belong to me, body, mind, and soul.” Naraku said.
Kagome used every ounce of strength she had, and forced her heart to slow down, not stop, but slow, until the world around her was black.
She couldn't feel a thing happening to her, which lent her some peace, but she was trapped in what seemed to her like pergatory.
She floated in nothingness, and after what seemed like a century, to her mind's relief, she began to dream.
Inuyasha raced to the hospital, tracking Naraku's scent. He was the only demon in the city, and Inuyasha was determined to kill him.
In a matter of minutes, he reached the tall building and found where the demon was, up on the second story. Close.
He leaped towards the window where he could smell the demon strongest and looked inside.
Naraku was over what appeared to be a body, and from the scent coming off of him, he knew what he was doing.
The body of the woman he was raping rolled over to face the window, unconscious, with claw marks across her left cheek, bleeding freely.
The woman being raped was Kagome.
Something inside the demon became infuriated, pure loathing and rage taking hold of every fiber of his being. Simply destroying the thing that was causing it would not be enough, no.
He would level the entire city with his rage! He broke through the barred window with ease, and entered the room, giving the demon no time to react.
He grabbed Naraku's throat and ripped it clean off of his shoulders and then tore the body from where it was over Kagome's limp form.
He shredded it instantly with his claws, the flesh dissipating quickly into miasma.
An image came to Kagome in her sleep, one of joy and sorrow.
Inuyasha stood before her, but it wasn't him. He was fighting something, trying to warn her, telling her to get away.
“I don't know what to do!” she cried, watching him struggle.
“Wake up!”
Kagome slowly opened her eyes to see Inuyasha standing near her, his face no longer his own, but that of a demon.
He was covered in blood, all down his chest, and the very sight of him disturbed her and frightened her.
"Inuyasha! No!" she screamed from the bed. She couldn't move still, but could feel restraints attached to her hands that kept her on the bed.
Her whole body hurt, but she didn't care.
Inuyasha was approaching her, a look that could kill on his face, ferocious and evil, not like the gentle man who had held her and talked so softly to her for so long. Fear flooded her, and the demon smiled wickedly.
His claws were drenched in blood, and he raised them, as if contemplating whether or not to kill her.
"Inuyasha! Don't go to this place! Don't leave me! Come back!" Kagome screamed, her voice racked by sobs. Tears spilled down her cheeks, and she looked away from the man she loved.
Kagome heard a growl escape his throat, and he backed away from the girl and a voice she recognized as his own shone through the harshness of the demon.
"Kagome... run away! I can't control myself!"
"I don't care if I die! Just please...don't leave me..." Kagome sobbed.
"No!" a deep voice said, coming from Inuyasha's mouth, "I haven't been out long enough! Don't send me back into the dark!"
A loud scream of rage and pain escaped from his throat, and he stood up, shaking his head and breathing hard. He felt the wounds that had closed on his chest and then quickly went over to Kagome, whom he was shocked to see bleeding and bruised.
He quickly undid the straps that held her down and held onto her for dear life, both forgetting the fact that she wasn't covered.
Both of them were crying in pain, sorrow, relief, and joy, all mixed together in one tide of emotion. Time didn't matter, life didn't matter, and their fight never mattered. All that mattered was their arms wrapped around each other.
The hospital slowly came to life around them, and a nurse came into the room and called for a doctor before she asked them what had happened.
"Patch her up and then she's coming home." Inuyasha said, stepping away from Kagome, but standing beside her still, holding her hand.
A doctor came in, and they made a commotion, but Kagome told them that an intruder had come in and she would be dead if Inuyasha hadn't been there to rescue her. They quickly brought her a paper hospital gown to replace her clothes that had been ripped up by Naraku's claws.
The doctor looked them both over and declared that beside superficial wounds that would take time to heal, they were both fine.
Kagome's stitches had been reopened in both her arms, so they had to mend them, which took about half an hour, and then had to sterilize and stitch the wounds in her cheek. All in all, stitches, pills, and Novocain.
Inuyasha checked out fine, and he was able to wash the blood from his shirt and chest. They were both released, but told to return for tests to see whether or not Kagome had been impregnated.
They offered to send a car and a wheel chair for Kagome, but Inuyasha said, “No thank you. I'm going to take her home."
He picked her up from the bed, bridal style and took her from the hospital.
Kagome was still in shock from all that had happened, but resting in Inuyasha's strong arms, she felt safe. She felt safer than she had in her life, on her way home to the place she and her love shared.
Inuyasha was troubled greatly by the wound in her neck, in his beautiful angel's neck.
'He marked her. Unless I kill him for good, I have no right to claim her as my wife and mate. No! He's marked her once before, but we escaped. We're in the human world now, the world beyond the well. In this world, the female gets equal say. That's where we are now, that's what goes!'
'Or so you think' a voice said in his head.
He tried not to speed up his pace, knowing that Kagome would sense something was troubling him.
"Inuyasha?" Kagome asked, shyly. They hadn't spoken at all since they left the hospital.
"Yeah?"
"What happens next?"
"I don't know. But we'll make it through. We always do."
"This whole thing is my fault."
“No, it's not, Kagome. It's Naraku's. Let's just go home for a while.”
Kagome laid her head against Inuyasha, troubled, but more at ease. The rhythm of Inuyasha's walking rocked her back and forth soothingly, lulling her to sleep.
As blessed darkness once more consumed Kagome, the world around her was numbed.
As if in an echo, she began to hear her own high-pitched screams, screams she herself had cried little more than two years before.
She listened to the screams that had replayed in her mind so many times, the images of the rape she had not been able to numb, the wound she had had to face no longer playing before her closed eyes, now replaced by the image of Naraku staring into her eyes with those evil dark orbs.
She heard him utter those awful things, “You are mine, Kagome. You have always been mine. You have no choice. You belong to me, mind, body, and soul.”
“NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NOOOOOOOOOOO!”
Kagome beat furiously at her head, as if to tear Naraku from her memory, till she felt Inuyasha's hands quickly wrap around her wrists, dull pain coming from her new stitches, and she slowly calmed, her breath coming in gasps.
Kagome looked up slowly at Inuyasha, at the concern and worry in his eyes, but as she looked deeper, she also saw his rage, and his pain.
“All this is my fault. How can you even stand to look at me? I'm so fucking pathetic!” she said, yanking her hands carefully away, not pushing him away, but drawing into herself.
A dry sob escaped her throat as she pulled her knees to her chest, not all too surprised to find that she was in their large queen sized bed in their house.
This worried Inuyasha, because he knew that when she got like this, mentally she was tearing herself to shreds.
“Kagome, we've been through hell together, I'll say that, but not an ounce of it was your fault that you haven't paid for fifty times over! I'm staying right here beside you until you figure that out.” He said. He scooped her up in his arms and sat her on his lap, gently rocking her back and forth.
“Don't touch me! I just want to be alone!”
“I'll die for you, but I won't let you hurt yourself by leaving you alone right now. Take that pain and put it somewhere else, anywhere else but to yourself. Put it on a piece of paper, put it in an arrow aimed at a demon, point it anywhere else.”
Kagome was silent for a moment, crying forgotten as she had an idea, and a prickling feeling crept into the middle of her forehead, a prick like that of the Shikon no tama.
“Okay, I can do that right now, but you need to get away from me so that it doesn't hurt you. I can feel the jewel coming closer. He's found us again.”
Kagome got shakily to her feet, her hair stuck to her forehead with sweat, her face streaked with tears, dressed in a pair of hospital scrubs, walked out the door of her bedroom, taking notice of all the damage the fight had done.
“All of this is on his head. He's going to pay. Do you hear me you bastard! COME OUT HERE AND FACE ME COWARD!” she screamed at the ceiling, and sure enough, a miasma began to cloud around her, blocking her living room from her view.
Laughter sounded from all around her, and then Naraku's voice said, “Well, well, well, miss me already?”
Kagome's fists clenched and shook with her fury as she looked around for Naraku.
“My, my, aren't we angry today? What's the matter, Kagome? Don't you like being my mate?”
“Mate my ass!” Inuyasha said, stepping forward.
“Inuyasha, back down!” Kagome said, vehemently. Her eyes blazed in hatred and determination as she said this, and even Inuyasha didn't wish to argue with her.
He took a few steps back, and said, “The first sign of trouble, I'm stepping in.”
“There won't be.” Kagome said, planting her feet in the ground and staring resolutely into the miasma.
Naraku's laughing form emerged, and he approached Kagome.
“There you are, my love. I missed you.” He said, growing near.
“Naraku, you stole something from me. You've stolen many things from me. My relationship, my happiness, even my virginity, but you will not, WILL NOT steal my life!” Kagome screamed, grabbing hold of Naraku's face before he could react.
She took every single pain she had felt because of this demon and pushed it out of her, throwing it into him through her hands, like a boulder that had tied her down for so long.
A white light erupted from her hands like electricity, and burned the flesh that she touched, moving deeper and deeper into him, destroying him from the inside out.
Before he was completely obliterated, a small part of him flew away, to be caught by the simiousho that flew away as quickly as it could, and when Inuyasha made a dive for it, a swarm of the insects surrounded him, blocking his way.
“No!” he yelled, watching the demon disappear. “Kagome, that thing has his heart! Destroy that and he dies!”
Kagome let the smoldering rock that was Naraku hit the floor and turned her attention to the insect, her eyes glowing white as she looked at it, trying once more to push the pain at it, to make it fall apart.
It was shredded to pieces by her unseen force, the heart dropping a few feet to vanish like smoke.
Kagome pushed the pain completely out of herself, what little bit was still hanging onto her mind, leaving her relieved, healed, and reeling.
She felt her eyes close, and she knew no more.
Inuyasha caught her, amazed at what she had done.
“And I thought I was terrifying as a demon!” Inuyasha remarked, carrying her back to the bedroom.
He was exhausted as well, emotionally and physically, happy to turn on a song and go to bed next to her, now confident that she wouldn't wake up screaming or hitting herself.
As the lyrics began to play, memories and pain began to well up inside of Inuyasha.
Never made it as a wise man
“I'm leaving you!”
I couldn't cut it as a poor man stealing
He had seen the broken glass in the bathroom, the pieces of the mirror shattered all over the floor. Was it in anger at him, or was it something else?
Tired of livin' like a blind man
He hadn't been there to stop her from doing what she had done. He was already chugging a bottle of vodka, trying to kill the pain and the guilt. He knew what she was going to try to do, and at the very least, he could get someone else to stop her.
He had found the nearest payphone and had dialed 911.
The operator at the hospital picked up at once, and asked him what his emergency was.
“My girl friend is going to commit suicide, and she may have already done something. Get to 576 Takashiro Street as quick as you can. I don't want her to die.”
I'm sick of sight without a sense of feeling
He could see her, sitting on the kitchen floor, her head leaning against the wooden cabinets beside her, her face paper white and gaunt, her eyes wide and staring, blank as mirrors as she was suspended between life and death. Blood was everywhere on the floor, pouring slowly from the wounds in her wrists. It hurt just to look at her that way.
And this is how you remind me
“Kagome…”
This is how you remind me
of what I really am
Half-breed! Freak! Demon spawn! Mutant! Abomination!
This is how you remind me
Of what I really am
It's not like you to say sorry,
“GET OUT OF HERE!” she screamed, hurling the vase at him, hitting him in the chest, leaving a sore spot on his sternum. Her words rang in his ears and shattered an already broken heart. All he could do was leave her the ring that had once been his thought of their future and the roses. He couldn't even stop himself from crying.
I was waiting on a different story
`We could've been married by now; we could have had a child. We could be happy, but Naraku had spoiled it all!” The memory of Kagome's voice, crying out in fear and pain from behind Naraku, screaming his name came back to him, that moment of total helplessness and pain, the fury that had boiled through him, burning through his veins was now only an intense anger and a great sense of loss.
This time I'm mistaken
`I know what was my fault and what wasn't, and I regret all that was mine. I regret it so badly…'
For handing you a heart worth breaking
`But I'd give her my heart again if she'd take it.'
I've been wrong, I've been down
Been to the bottom of every bottle
these five words in my head
Scream, “Are we having fun yet?”
Yet? Yet? Yet? No…no…
“We haven't been happy for two years. We've pretended, and almost been, but not in reality.”
It's not like you didn't know that
I said I love you and I swear I still do
“GET OUT OF HERE!”
`I still loved you, even then.'
It must have been so bad
The image of Naraku raping her came into his mind, the second time, her head rolling limply over, her face cut, her eyes closed as if sleeping, not because she was enjoying it, but because she had passed out, blocking out the physical and mental anguish.
`Cause livin' with me must have damn near killed you
then she awoke, after Naraku was off of her, and the look of stark terror had hurt him so much, he expected himself to bleed.
He remembered coming near her after he had slain Naraku, only because his human half wanted nothing more than to free her and help her.
She had begun screaming and crying, and as the demon blood struggled to hold onto his body while his human side fought for it, his demon side had wanted to kill her, to rip the woman to shreds. This desire could not manifest, he wouldn't allow it.
Kagome called out to him, and he used her voice as an anchor to carry him back to her.
And this is how you remind me of what I really am
“I'm nothing but a demonic piece of shit!”
It's not like you to say sorry
This time he had the blurred image of Kikyo's face before he had cut her down, the look of pure sadness and pain. It ripped him apart to see that expression, but remembering that she had joined Naraku made the pain much more bearable.
I was waiting on a different story
He thought about the child they could have had, watching Kagome grow and grow, and then seeing their little baby, his first born. That could have already happened, he could've been watching them learn to take his or her first steps, could be holding them right now.
This time I'm mistaken
for handing you a heart worth breaking
The arrow had struck hard, all those years ago, pinning him to the tree. And there, a hundred yards away, there stood Kikyo with her bow, blood soaking her kimono from some unknown wound.
I've been wronged
I've been down
Been to the bottom of every bottle
These five words in my head
Scream `Are we having fun yet?'
He got up then and turned the music off, frustration and pain welling inside his tired mind. He lay back down beside Kagome and thought of nothing more, distracting himself with her scent, not the smell of her pain or blood, or even the smell of Naraku, the scent of Kagome, his sweet, beautiful Kagome, and fell into a blissful sleep, his arm around her shoulders protectively, his body gently molded against hers, keeping her warm.
Kagome woke with a start, realizing that there was someone's arm around her. With a jolt of her memory, she realized that it was Inuyasha, and that they, at least, were fixed.
Her body hurt badly, particularly her woman, a way deep down ache that made it hurt to walk or breath deeply. It gave her joy and extreme relief to feel him near her, his arm around her shoulders comfortingly and protectively.
She smiled slightly, happy for the first time in what seemed to be years, the enormous weight of her pain gone, leaving her feeling light as a feather, only the stretching of her stitches and the ache of her body bringing her down.
She rolled over carefully in Inuyasha's arms so that she was facing him, his arm now over her back, her hands curled against her breastbone. He moaned in his sleep and said, “Good morning.” without opening his eyes, his hand tightening over her back, bringing her closer to him.
“Good morning,” she repeated, kissing him on the cheek with a smile. He opened his eyes, and stared at her as if he'd never seen her before. “What?” she asked with a grin.
“I'm just so glad to see you smile. It seems like it's been forever.” He said, kissing her forehead.
He drew back afterwards, and looked a little serious, and said, “ You know there's still a fight waiting. Those insects carried his heart away, and with that, he can still live.”
“I know.” Kagome said, frowning. “We'll get him this time, don't worry about that.”
She didn't want to face Naraku again, but she knew that they couldn't just sit back and let him recuperate, either. He must have gone back to the feudal era, for there weren't any demons to create a body from in this time. But they would have trouble finding him.
“I know what we have to do, but we have time. Let's rest up and go when we can fight at our best. I just hope Miroku and Sango have trained in the past two years.”
“Yeah. I really hate the idea of you fighting, though.” Inuyasha said, holding her tighter. “I just keep remembering hearing you scream, and then thinking that you're hurting, and I can't save you. Every time you fight, I get scared to death that I'm going to lose you.”
Kagome wrapped her arms around Inuyasha, holding him tightly to let him know she heard him.
“I'm not going anywhere, Inuyasha. You won't lose me, but you see how scared I am, how fucking terrified I am every time you get hurt, when I hear you cry out in pain. Every single time, I wish I were strong enough to save you, to fight these demons off and keep you out of harm's way. But I know that I'm not."
"This time, though, it is my fight. But it's yours, too, and Miroku's, and Sango's. We all have a need for revenge against Naraku, and we all have every right to take it.”
“No one's questioning that.” Inuyasha said. “I don't really care about what happened 50 years ago anymore. Yeah, it hurt, but after what Kikyo has done, fuck taking vengeance for her; I'm taking my revenge for you.”
Kagome lay silent in his arms, thinking about all that had happened in the past, and how Inuyasha had been there through it all. Every night she had had a nightmare and woken up crying, he had wiped away her tears and told her that she was safe now, that he was there, and that nobody was going to be able to hurt her.
She looked into his amber eyes, and said, “Thank you, Inuyasha, for everything. Without you, I'd be lost.”
“Don't ever worry about it, Kagome, I'd still be stuck to a goddamn tree if it wasn't for you!”
This made them both laugh, and they looked at each other, for it seemed like they had never laughed before, that they were too busy being pissy or hurt to enjoy the very pleasure of laughter together.
“Yeah, well if I'd never gone down the well, I'd probably be in college, pouring over those god forsaken books, burning my brains out for stupid exams, and then grow old and lonely with nothing but a TV and a framed piece of paper to my life! Besides,” she added, in a more serious tone, “I wouldn't have you.”
'Why did he do that? 'She thought the image of Inuyasha and Kikyo together flashing through her mind, attached to his scream of "I'm leaving you!" Another sob escaped from her throat, and Kagome picked up the razor blade again and made a fresh cut, deep and long into her arm near her elbow, the pain lasting only a second or two as the blood began to flow freely in a dark red river.
In the next room, their room, Inuyasha furiously packed his small pack with everything he had brought from his time. He paused for a moment, looking at the picture of him and Kagome, the woman he had loved for so long, held in perfection in a gorgeous silver frame that she had bought just for it, as a present for him. He took it in his hands and threw it as hard as he could into the far wall and watched it shatter. 'Just like she shattered us.' he thought bitterly, zipping the bag up. He could smell Kagome's blood, and his heart ached, but he didn't go in and comfort her. He had done that too much these past two years. He went out of the room, ignoring Kagome in the living room and walked out of the front door, slamming it hard enough behind him to break three panels of glass in the windows. Kagome waited a few minutes to get up, no longer crying. She stood shakily, wiping the salty tears from her face and neck and went into the small bathroom. She stared at her reflection in the mirror over the sink, at the patches of red and milky white on her face, at her puffy brown and blood shot eyes. She looked at even the scars on her neck, the teeth marks left from the bastard who had raped her, the hanyou Naraku.It made her think of all the times she had woken up screaming, and Inuyasha had always calmed her and held her until she went to sleep again. She looked at her arm, the painful image again in her mind, and she knew that it was over. All of it was over thanks to Kikyo.
'All of it's gone. He's gone. He's never going to come back. Not after the way I yelled at him and called him all those names. Well, I guess then I'm gone, too. I'm nothing to him! All he's ever cared about is that fucking dead whore! How did she even get here? I don't care I just wish she would DIE!' She struck the mirror with a shaking fist, glass flying everywhere, cutting her hand. A tear slipped down her cheek, and she began rummaging around in the open medicine cabinet and found a full bottle of aspirin. She went and turned on the only song that fit her mood (even though I fucking hate it, it seemed to fit) Nickel back 'Someday'. The lyrics started as she went and got a glass of water and retrieved the razor blade from the floor.
How the hell did we wind up like this?
Why weren't we able to see the signs that we missed and tried to turn the tables?
I wish you'd unclench your fists and unpack your suitcase
Lately there's been too much of this, but don't think it's too late
Nothings wrong just as long as you know that someday I will
Someday, somehow I'm gonna make it alright, but not right now
I know you're wondering when
(You're the only one who knows that)
Someday, somehow I'm gonna make it alright, but not right now
I know you're wondering when
And I hope that since we're here anyway, we can end it, saying
Things we've always needed to say, so we can end up staying
Now the story's played out like this just like a paperback novel
Let's rewrite an ending that fits instead of a Hollywood horror
Nothings wrong just as long as you know that someday I will
Someday, somehow I'm gonna make it alright, but not right now
I know you're wondering when
(You're the only one who knows that)
Someday, somehow I'm gonna make it alright, but not right now
I know you're wondering when
(You're the only one who knows that)
How the hell did we wind up like this?
Why weren't we able to see the signs that we missed and tried to turn the tables?
I wish you'd unclench your fists and unpack your suitcase
Lately there's been too much of this, but don't think it's too late
Nothings wrong just as long as you know that someday I will
Someday, somehow I'm gonna make it alright, but not right now
I know you're wondering when
(You're the only one who knows that)
Someday, somehow I'm gonna make it alright, but not right now
I know you're wondering when
(You're the only one who knows that)
I know you're wondering when
(You're the only one who knows that)
I know you're wondering when
"It's not going to be okay." Kagome said.
She quickly dialed Miroku and Sango's number for the last time and heard it ring twice before Sango picked up.
"Hey, Kagome, what's going on?"
"I'm sorry."
"For what?"
”This.”
CLICK!
Kagome put the phone down on the kitchen counter and let another sob escape her throat.
`Do it!' a voice in her head told her, one that was chillingly familiar to her.
`Cut your veins open. Watch your life pour from your hands. It's what you want. You know it is!' As if possessed, Kagome grabbed the bottle of aspirin and swallowed a fistful at a time. She then drank the glass of water, washing down the mass of the white pills. She then sat down on the linoleum floor of the kitchen. The lyrics of the song still played through her mind, and she allowed herself to fully break down and cry, loud, shuddering sobs escaping from her throat, and then she felt a rippling pain cross through her chest when her heart beat. `It's time.' The voice now said. Kagome took hold of the razor blade again and pulled the sleeves of her sweatshirt up, the insides now covered with still-fresh blood and stared at her arms. They were covered in scars and new red cuts, symbols of hatred and pain on her body, carved by her own two hands. So many. Hundreds, thousands; she didn't even know. “Four final cuts and it'll all be over. No more nights, no more pain.” She said, pressing the small blade into her skin, leaving only enough out so she could maneuver it into making a long, straight cut across her veins, catching the small bones of her wrist, causing excruciating pain that didn't go away after a second or two. When the veins were cut and the blood flowed freely, She placed the blade in again, this time cutting the long way down, nearly to her elbow, slicing the vein open entirely. Blood streaming from her arm, splattering onto her pants, Kagome cut the other wrist likewise. The world swam before her, spinning closer into darkness. She felt herself drifting, and numbly hit the floor. A bright light was in front of her eyes, radiant and beautiful, seemingly to call her from above, a golden staircase leading up to it. All fear and pain had left her, and she began climbing up, each step causing a little more of her form to fall away, till there was nothing left of her old life. Just as she reached the top, the light faded away. The stairs beneath her vanished, and her old self returned. “NO!” she screamed in despair.
There was nothing around her now except the darkness.
`Is this hell?' she wondered to herself. She didn't know how long she had drifted before she heard another voice.
“Why did you do this, Kags?”
“Sango!” she cried, recognizing the voice.
“We love you, even if you don't love yourself. You're such an amazingly wonderful person. Don't leave us yet!” Sango's voice said, crying. “Wake up!”
Kagome opened her eyes. Sango was sitting next to her on a bed with a metal frame and there was a machine beeping nearby. `I'm in a hospital. I'm alive.'
“Kagome!” Sango cried, hugging her friend in relief. “What the fuck did you do that for? I'm gonna fucking kick your ass! You're so stupid!”
“Sorry, Sango. It was just too much for me to deal with. I'm sorry I hurt you.” Kagome said, her voice weak. She looked over Sango's shoulder and saw Miroku standing beside the bed, relieved, but still pale. “Glad we didn't lose you, Kagome.” He said, giving her a weak smile. `Kami, I am stupid! Even if Inuyasha doesn't love me anymore, the others still do. How could I hurt them like this? Oh well, we'll all work it out. I just better not see that hanyou again any time soon!'
“Kagome, where's Inuyasha?” Sango asked. “I would've thought he'd be here from the beginning; after all he's the one who called the ambulance.”
The girl gasped, surprised, but then again she figured that it made sense. “He's the whole reason I did this in the first place. I caught him kissing Kikyo.”
“Kikyo? How the hell did she get here?” Miroku asked.
“She can get through the well I guess, after all, we can.” Kagome said. Miroku nodded, still looking mad, though.
“She had the nerve to come after Inuyasha, and he had the gall to take her back with open arms? I'm gonna kick his stupid ass for this!” Sango yelled, walking towards the door.
Guilt felt like a heavy stone in his chest as he walked towards the hospital, the scent of the roses in his arms intoxicating his sense of smell.
`I really fucked up this time. Why did I say those things to her?' Inuyasha thought, walking up the sloped sidewalk towards the entrance. In his mind he replayed the painful fight over. He heard his own voice scream at her harshly,” I'm leaving you!” `That look in her eyes…I thought she was going to shatter into a thousand pieces right there. Why didn't I go in and talk to her? I could smell her blood; I knew she was going to take it too far. Kami, I'm a bastard!' He walked up to the nurse behind the desk, who was taking a call. He waited impatiently for her to notice he was standing there.
“May I help you?” she finally said.
“Yes, I'm here to visit Kagome Higurashi. Is that okay?”
“She has two visitors right now, but you're welcome to go in, I believe she is conscious.”
“Thank you.” He said, following her scent to her room, where he knew Sango and Miroku already were. He paused outside the door, for he heard her weak voice. “ He's the whole reason I did this in the first place. I caught him kissing Kikyo.”
`That's salt in an open wound.' He thought. `But then again, I deserve as much.'
“Kikyo? How the hell did she get here?” Miroku's voice.
“She can get through the well, I guess. After all, we can.” `Kagome.' He thought, longingly. He felt the box stuffed into his denim jeans' pocket. `Please don't hate me forever!'
“Kikyo had the nerve to come after Inuyasha, and he had the gall to take her back with open arms? I'm gonna kick his stupid ass for this!” `Uh oh, that's Sango's voice!' he thought. He heard her get up and start to walk towards the door.
`Kami help me!' he prayed, sucking in a breath and stepping into the doorway. Sango was making her way towards the door, her rage like electricity around her. Not even Miroku dared to try to stop her. As she was a few paces away from the door, the hanyou stepped out, a morose look on his face.
“You!” Sango cried, raising a fist.
“Wait! I came to apologize!” he cried, raising an arm over his face in defense. He showed the roses to prove his point. Sango raised her fist a little higher, but Kagome said, “Let him say his piece, then rip him into pieces, if you want.”
“All right, I don't see the use, though.” Sango said, still giving Inuyasha the most evil glare imaginable. Inuyasha gulped, and looked at Kagome, fear replaced by sorrow and pain, the little weight of guilt in his chest getting ten times heavier.
“Kagome, I'm not going to make excuses. I'm a bastard for what I said to you, but I never wanted to kiss Kikyo in the first place. She just jumped on me right as you were looking. I'm sorry that I wasn't there to talk to you and take the blade away. I can never make amends for that.”
“Yeah, you can, by getting the fuck out of here! I don't care what you say, or how sorry you are! That won't fix a goddamn thing, Inuyasha! I'm done with you, I fucking hate you! GET OUT OF HERE!” she screamed, picking up the heavy vase that sat next to the bed and throwing it at him with all the strength she could muster. It broke over his chest, knocking the breath out of him.
He merely stood for a second, his head down. Kagome stared at him, and to her amazement, she realized that he was crying.
“You want me gone, Kagome, then I'm gone.”
He numbly walked to the bed, laid the roses at her feet, and took out the black velvet box from his pocket and gently tossed it in her lap. The others couldn't see, but a tear fell from his amber eyes and fell onto the white blanket that covered her. He turned without another word and left.
Sango closed the door, no longer angry.
“What's in the box?” Miroku asked.
Kagome had opened it when they weren't looking and felt a fresh wave of pain at what she saw. In the box was a beautiful diamond ring in what she saw was pure silver. On the band, inscribed with obviously skilled craftsmanship were the words:
My most sacred jewel.
She bent her head down, replacing the ring in its box and let it fall from her hands. She pulled her knees up to her chest and laid her head on them and sobbed, Miroku and Sango at the foot of the bed, not really knowing what to do.
“Kagome, it's going to be all right.” Sango said, attempting to soothe her friend.
“I am so sick of hearing those words! Nothing is going to be all right, it never has been to begin with!” she sobbed. They continued to sit with her, wondering how she was going to get back to the way she was before. `I want the old Kagome back, before any of this happened.' Sango thought, remembering the day that they had been forced to flee for Kagome's safety. She pushed the painful image away, and thought instead of what had just happened. `Where is Inuyasha going to go?' she wondered. `Probably back to our time.'
Hollow.
That's the only way to describe what the hanyou was feeling. Emptiness now that Kagome was gone and would possibly be gone forever. `I can't stay here.' He thought, miserably. `I shouldn't have been here in the first place. This isn't my time. It's hers. I'm going home.' He took everything he had packed up the night before and made his way to the house where Kagome had grown up, where the Bone Eater's well was located, the portal connecting the two times.
Nobody lived there anymore, but Souta, Kagome's kid brother, sometimes stopped by to take care of it, in case they ever needed it.
`Wonder if the punk's there.' Inuyasha thought. As he approached the house, he saw the kid's car parked in the driveway. A scent hit him suddenly, one that he never wanted to smell again.
Bones and graveyard soil. Kikyo.
He went to the well house, where the scent was strongest. He went into the small shed and there she stood, ghostly white and reeking of the souls of the dead. “Kikyo! What are you doing here other than making my life Hell?” he shouted at her, the emptiness inside him replaced by rage. She smiled wickedly and said in that dull voice of hers, “Inuyasha, I thought you were glad to see me. You didn't back away when I came to embrace you.”
“I was shocked! I didn't think you could come here! I don't want you, I want Kagome! You took her away from me!” he yelled, his hands balling into fists.
“I took nothing from you but a final kiss. And now, I'm taking your life.”
Before he could react, Kikyo had sunk a knife into his abdomen.
His knees buckled and he fell to the ground, the hilt of the blade protruding from his stomach. His hand slowly reached for it, but was deflected by a barrier. Kikyo laughed softly and said,
“The blade is poisoned. You will die in a few seconds.”
Blood pooled into the back of his throat and forced him to cough, sending large drops of the red liquid into the air to splatter the ground in front of him. He could feel the poison working in him, flooding his veins, wreaking havoc everywhere it touched. His pack had fallen and he dimly saw the Tetsusaiga in its sheath a few feet away. He couldn't reach it. `Oh no! If I don't have the Tetsusaiga, I'll change into a demon!”
As the poison spread, he heard a loud, ominous laughter, and the scent of miasma filled his nose, mingled with the scent of his own blood.
“No!” he said, recognizing the voice and the scent of its owner. “He can't come here! He can't hurt Kagome!”
The figure of Naraku emerged from the well, laughing manically and finally saying, “So, Inuyasha, this is where you've been hiding! It took me two years to find you and that priestess. With Kikyo's help, I was able to track you all down. She belongs to me, Inuyasha. I made my mark!”
“Fucker! You raped her! You don't deserve to be alive!” Inuyasha yelled, but he couldn't attack. The poison had taken effect; he was dying as he spoke. A rage filled him, so deep within his soul, he was surprised it didn't render his flesh in shreds. A growl escaped his throat, low and deep within his chest, and he suddenly knew where it came from. `I'm transforming again. My demon blood is devouring my human soul, piece by piece. The Tetsusaiga can stop it, but I can't reach it!' Then he thought no more of his human heart.
He looked at the hanyou before him, and the only desire that raged through his flesh was the desire to kill and keep killing.
Naraku looked mildly surprised at the change in the half-breed that seemed to be dying. “What is this?” he asked, bemusedly. “You have the scent of a full fledged demon. How can this be?”
Inuyasha felt the rage seep into his very blood, and he felt the wound begin to hurt less and less. He reached again for the blade, the barrier of the hilt burning his hands, but he couldn't feel it. He wrenched it from his body, and in one motion, he cut Kikyo's head from her shoulders. He stood, watching the clay body decay rapidly, like that of a demon, the souls that had kept her alive darted upwards out of her in blue orbs of lights.
Naraku looked stunned, but quickly got over it, seeing the newly transformed demon turn to face him. Inuyasha's eyes glowed blood red, the purple streaks marking power on his cheeks, fangs of great size proudly displayed. His claws were huge, lethally sharp and waiting to be covered in blood.
Naraku manipulated the miasma around them to create a barrier between him and the bloodthirsty demon and disappeared. Inuyasha followed his scent, invigorated by the chase. A human scent caught him off guard, a human he recognized. He went into the house part of the shrine to see Souta knocked unconscious in the living room floor, a small amount of blood coming from his mouth. Some dim, small part of him, far away it seemed, cried out in concern, but the demon shut it out. The human being no threat to him, he left, once more following the scent towards the city, back towards Kagome.
Kagome slept in the hospital bed, a shadowy figure coming towards her in her dreams. It called her name in a voice she recognized as Inuyasha's, and she came towards it, hoping to see him again.
“Inuyasha!” she called, pain and worry etched clearly in her voice. “Inuyasha, I'm so sorry! I love you, please come back!” tears flowed down her cheeks when nothing emerged from the darkness.
Laughter followed her apologies, her screams, and finally someone did emerge, but it wasn't Inuyasha.
A hanyou with black hair and evil cinnamon colored eyes came from the darkness, laughing at her as she ran away in horror, screaming and crying for help.
“What's the matter, Kagome? Can't help yourself? I can help you, if you come to me.”
“Stay the fuck away from me!” she screamed, running and running, trying to get away from the evil voice that tried to follow her.” Run all you want, Kagome. You can't escape me. In fact, you may come to see me sooner than you think.”
Kagome opened her eyes, her breathing jagged and her heart pounding as if she'd been running. Cold sweat covered her, and she tried to calm herself, saying that it was only a dream.
“Was it?”
Her head snapped up, and she was sure she was still dreaming. In the doorway stood none other than Naraku, in the flesh, those evil bloody eyes mocking her.
“Ah, Kagome, my long-lost mate. How could you run away after I took you?”
“I'm not your mate! I'm Inuyasha's!”
“Oh?” he said, coming towards her.
`Oh, Kami, I can't run away! He's right in front of the door and I'm hooked up to all these fucking machines!'
“Is that why you have my mark on your neck?”
“Fuck the stupid mark! You bit me, so what?” Kagome spat at him, trying to keep the tears of fear and rage from falling.
“In demon law, that makes you mine. Your life, your heart, and your body belong to me.” Naraku said in her ear, his closeness making her skin crawl. “There's nowhere to run, nowhere you can hide. Inuyasha is dead. You are mine.”
His words stunned her, but she refused to believe it was true. In the one second of shock, her defenses were down, and Naraku lunged at her neck and once more sank his fangs into her soft flesh. He covered her mouth with his hand as she tried to scream, the tears finally spilling down her face.
His teeth left her neck, the flesh bleeding freely, and, to Kagome's horror, he began to lap up the blood that spilled from the wound.
“My god, you are sweet.” He said into her ear.
She couldn't move away, not for lack of trying, but it seemed her body was frozen. She looked out of the door, and saw the dark purple clouds of miasma pouring into the room. No sounds came from the hospital, no nurses running past with their clipboards, no announcements over the intercom.
All was still, except the demon attached to Kagome's neck, drinking the small amounts of blood that spilled from her wound.
Naraku's hands began traveling towards Kagome's shirt, and she felt her heart beat speed up, for she knew what was coming.
“No… Not again!” she cried, finding power enough to speak only through her fear.
“You have no choice. You belong to me, body, mind, and soul.” Naraku said.
Kagome used every ounce of strength she had, and forced her heart to slow down, not stop, but slow, until the world around her was black.
She couldn't feel a thing happening to her, which lent her some peace, but she was trapped in what seemed to her like pergatory.
She floated in nothingness, and after what seemed like a century, to her mind's relief, she began to dream.
Inuyasha raced to the hospital, tracking Naraku's scent. He was the only demon in the city, and Inuyasha was determined to kill him.
In a matter of minutes, he reached the tall building and found where the demon was, up on the second story. Close.
He leaped towards the window where he could smell the demon strongest and looked inside.
Naraku was over what appeared to be a body, and from the scent coming off of him, he knew what he was doing.
The body of the woman he was raping rolled over to face the window, unconscious, with claw marks across her left cheek, bleeding freely.
The woman being raped was Kagome.
Something inside the demon became infuriated, pure loathing and rage taking hold of every fiber of his being. Simply destroying the thing that was causing it would not be enough, no.
He would level the entire city with his rage! He broke through the barred window with ease, and entered the room, giving the demon no time to react.
He grabbed Naraku's throat and ripped it clean off of his shoulders and then tore the body from where it was over Kagome's limp form.
He shredded it instantly with his claws, the flesh dissipating quickly into miasma.
An image came to Kagome in her sleep, one of joy and sorrow.
Inuyasha stood before her, but it wasn't him. He was fighting something, trying to warn her, telling her to get away.
“I don't know what to do!” she cried, watching him struggle.
“Wake up!”
Kagome slowly opened her eyes to see Inuyasha standing near her, his face no longer his own, but that of a demon.
He was covered in blood, all down his chest, and the very sight of him disturbed her and frightened her.
"Inuyasha! No!" she screamed from the bed. She couldn't move still, but could feel restraints attached to her hands that kept her on the bed.
Her whole body hurt, but she didn't care.
Inuyasha was approaching her, a look that could kill on his face, ferocious and evil, not like the gentle man who had held her and talked so softly to her for so long. Fear flooded her, and the demon smiled wickedly.
His claws were drenched in blood, and he raised them, as if contemplating whether or not to kill her.
"Inuyasha! Don't go to this place! Don't leave me! Come back!" Kagome screamed, her voice racked by sobs. Tears spilled down her cheeks, and she looked away from the man she loved.
Kagome heard a growl escape his throat, and he backed away from the girl and a voice she recognized as his own shone through the harshness of the demon.
"Kagome... run away! I can't control myself!"
"I don't care if I die! Just please...don't leave me..." Kagome sobbed.
"No!" a deep voice said, coming from Inuyasha's mouth, "I haven't been out long enough! Don't send me back into the dark!"
A loud scream of rage and pain escaped from his throat, and he stood up, shaking his head and breathing hard. He felt the wounds that had closed on his chest and then quickly went over to Kagome, whom he was shocked to see bleeding and bruised.
He quickly undid the straps that held her down and held onto her for dear life, both forgetting the fact that she wasn't covered.
Both of them were crying in pain, sorrow, relief, and joy, all mixed together in one tide of emotion. Time didn't matter, life didn't matter, and their fight never mattered. All that mattered was their arms wrapped around each other.
The hospital slowly came to life around them, and a nurse came into the room and called for a doctor before she asked them what had happened.
"Patch her up and then she's coming home." Inuyasha said, stepping away from Kagome, but standing beside her still, holding her hand.
A doctor came in, and they made a commotion, but Kagome told them that an intruder had come in and she would be dead if Inuyasha hadn't been there to rescue her. They quickly brought her a paper hospital gown to replace her clothes that had been ripped up by Naraku's claws.
The doctor looked them both over and declared that beside superficial wounds that would take time to heal, they were both fine.
Kagome's stitches had been reopened in both her arms, so they had to mend them, which took about half an hour, and then had to sterilize and stitch the wounds in her cheek. All in all, stitches, pills, and Novocain.
Inuyasha checked out fine, and he was able to wash the blood from his shirt and chest. They were both released, but told to return for tests to see whether or not Kagome had been impregnated.
They offered to send a car and a wheel chair for Kagome, but Inuyasha said, “No thank you. I'm going to take her home."
He picked her up from the bed, bridal style and took her from the hospital.
Kagome was still in shock from all that had happened, but resting in Inuyasha's strong arms, she felt safe. She felt safer than she had in her life, on her way home to the place she and her love shared.
Inuyasha was troubled greatly by the wound in her neck, in his beautiful angel's neck.
'He marked her. Unless I kill him for good, I have no right to claim her as my wife and mate. No! He's marked her once before, but we escaped. We're in the human world now, the world beyond the well. In this world, the female gets equal say. That's where we are now, that's what goes!'
'Or so you think' a voice said in his head.
He tried not to speed up his pace, knowing that Kagome would sense something was troubling him.
"Inuyasha?" Kagome asked, shyly. They hadn't spoken at all since they left the hospital.
"Yeah?"
"What happens next?"
"I don't know. But we'll make it through. We always do."
"This whole thing is my fault."
“No, it's not, Kagome. It's Naraku's. Let's just go home for a while.”
Kagome laid her head against Inuyasha, troubled, but more at ease. The rhythm of Inuyasha's walking rocked her back and forth soothingly, lulling her to sleep.
As blessed darkness once more consumed Kagome, the world around her was numbed.
As if in an echo, she began to hear her own high-pitched screams, screams she herself had cried little more than two years before.
She listened to the screams that had replayed in her mind so many times, the images of the rape she had not been able to numb, the wound she had had to face no longer playing before her closed eyes, now replaced by the image of Naraku staring into her eyes with those evil dark orbs.
She heard him utter those awful things, “You are mine, Kagome. You have always been mine. You have no choice. You belong to me, mind, body, and soul.”
“NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NOOOOOOOOOOO!”
Kagome beat furiously at her head, as if to tear Naraku from her memory, till she felt Inuyasha's hands quickly wrap around her wrists, dull pain coming from her new stitches, and she slowly calmed, her breath coming in gasps.
Kagome looked up slowly at Inuyasha, at the concern and worry in his eyes, but as she looked deeper, she also saw his rage, and his pain.
“All this is my fault. How can you even stand to look at me? I'm so fucking pathetic!” she said, yanking her hands carefully away, not pushing him away, but drawing into herself.
A dry sob escaped her throat as she pulled her knees to her chest, not all too surprised to find that she was in their large queen sized bed in their house.
This worried Inuyasha, because he knew that when she got like this, mentally she was tearing herself to shreds.
“Kagome, we've been through hell together, I'll say that, but not an ounce of it was your fault that you haven't paid for fifty times over! I'm staying right here beside you until you figure that out.” He said. He scooped her up in his arms and sat her on his lap, gently rocking her back and forth.
“Don't touch me! I just want to be alone!”
“I'll die for you, but I won't let you hurt yourself by leaving you alone right now. Take that pain and put it somewhere else, anywhere else but to yourself. Put it on a piece of paper, put it in an arrow aimed at a demon, point it anywhere else.”
Kagome was silent for a moment, crying forgotten as she had an idea, and a prickling feeling crept into the middle of her forehead, a prick like that of the Shikon no tama.
“Okay, I can do that right now, but you need to get away from me so that it doesn't hurt you. I can feel the jewel coming closer. He's found us again.”
Kagome got shakily to her feet, her hair stuck to her forehead with sweat, her face streaked with tears, dressed in a pair of hospital scrubs, walked out the door of her bedroom, taking notice of all the damage the fight had done.
“All of this is on his head. He's going to pay. Do you hear me you bastard! COME OUT HERE AND FACE ME COWARD!” she screamed at the ceiling, and sure enough, a miasma began to cloud around her, blocking her living room from her view.
Laughter sounded from all around her, and then Naraku's voice said, “Well, well, well, miss me already?”
Kagome's fists clenched and shook with her fury as she looked around for Naraku.
“My, my, aren't we angry today? What's the matter, Kagome? Don't you like being my mate?”
“Mate my ass!” Inuyasha said, stepping forward.
“Inuyasha, back down!” Kagome said, vehemently. Her eyes blazed in hatred and determination as she said this, and even Inuyasha didn't wish to argue with her.
He took a few steps back, and said, “The first sign of trouble, I'm stepping in.”
“There won't be.” Kagome said, planting her feet in the ground and staring resolutely into the miasma.
Naraku's laughing form emerged, and he approached Kagome.
“There you are, my love. I missed you.” He said, growing near.
“Naraku, you stole something from me. You've stolen many things from me. My relationship, my happiness, even my virginity, but you will not, WILL NOT steal my life!” Kagome screamed, grabbing hold of Naraku's face before he could react.
She took every single pain she had felt because of this demon and pushed it out of her, throwing it into him through her hands, like a boulder that had tied her down for so long.
A white light erupted from her hands like electricity, and burned the flesh that she touched, moving deeper and deeper into him, destroying him from the inside out.
Before he was completely obliterated, a small part of him flew away, to be caught by the simiousho that flew away as quickly as it could, and when Inuyasha made a dive for it, a swarm of the insects surrounded him, blocking his way.
“No!” he yelled, watching the demon disappear. “Kagome, that thing has his heart! Destroy that and he dies!”
Kagome let the smoldering rock that was Naraku hit the floor and turned her attention to the insect, her eyes glowing white as she looked at it, trying once more to push the pain at it, to make it fall apart.
It was shredded to pieces by her unseen force, the heart dropping a few feet to vanish like smoke.
Kagome pushed the pain completely out of herself, what little bit was still hanging onto her mind, leaving her relieved, healed, and reeling.
She felt her eyes close, and she knew no more.
Inuyasha caught her, amazed at what she had done.
“And I thought I was terrifying as a demon!” Inuyasha remarked, carrying her back to the bedroom.
He was exhausted as well, emotionally and physically, happy to turn on a song and go to bed next to her, now confident that she wouldn't wake up screaming or hitting herself.
As the lyrics began to play, memories and pain began to well up inside of Inuyasha.
Never made it as a wise man
“I'm leaving you!”
I couldn't cut it as a poor man stealing
He had seen the broken glass in the bathroom, the pieces of the mirror shattered all over the floor. Was it in anger at him, or was it something else?
Tired of livin' like a blind man
He hadn't been there to stop her from doing what she had done. He was already chugging a bottle of vodka, trying to kill the pain and the guilt. He knew what she was going to try to do, and at the very least, he could get someone else to stop her.
He had found the nearest payphone and had dialed 911.
The operator at the hospital picked up at once, and asked him what his emergency was.
“My girl friend is going to commit suicide, and she may have already done something. Get to 576 Takashiro Street as quick as you can. I don't want her to die.”
I'm sick of sight without a sense of feeling
He could see her, sitting on the kitchen floor, her head leaning against the wooden cabinets beside her, her face paper white and gaunt, her eyes wide and staring, blank as mirrors as she was suspended between life and death. Blood was everywhere on the floor, pouring slowly from the wounds in her wrists. It hurt just to look at her that way.
And this is how you remind me
“Kagome…”
This is how you remind me
of what I really am
Half-breed! Freak! Demon spawn! Mutant! Abomination!
This is how you remind me
Of what I really am
It's not like you to say sorry,
“GET OUT OF HERE!” she screamed, hurling the vase at him, hitting him in the chest, leaving a sore spot on his sternum. Her words rang in his ears and shattered an already broken heart. All he could do was leave her the ring that had once been his thought of their future and the roses. He couldn't even stop himself from crying.
I was waiting on a different story
`We could've been married by now; we could have had a child. We could be happy, but Naraku had spoiled it all!” The memory of Kagome's voice, crying out in fear and pain from behind Naraku, screaming his name came back to him, that moment of total helplessness and pain, the fury that had boiled through him, burning through his veins was now only an intense anger and a great sense of loss.
This time I'm mistaken
`I know what was my fault and what wasn't, and I regret all that was mine. I regret it so badly…'
For handing you a heart worth breaking
`But I'd give her my heart again if she'd take it.'
I've been wrong, I've been down
Been to the bottom of every bottle
these five words in my head
Scream, “Are we having fun yet?”
Yet? Yet? Yet? No…no…
“We haven't been happy for two years. We've pretended, and almost been, but not in reality.”
It's not like you didn't know that
I said I love you and I swear I still do
“GET OUT OF HERE!”
`I still loved you, even then.'
It must have been so bad
The image of Naraku raping her came into his mind, the second time, her head rolling limply over, her face cut, her eyes closed as if sleeping, not because she was enjoying it, but because she had passed out, blocking out the physical and mental anguish.
`Cause livin' with me must have damn near killed you
then she awoke, after Naraku was off of her, and the look of stark terror had hurt him so much, he expected himself to bleed.
He remembered coming near her after he had slain Naraku, only because his human half wanted nothing more than to free her and help her.
She had begun screaming and crying, and as the demon blood struggled to hold onto his body while his human side fought for it, his demon side had wanted to kill her, to rip the woman to shreds. This desire could not manifest, he wouldn't allow it.
Kagome called out to him, and he used her voice as an anchor to carry him back to her.
And this is how you remind me of what I really am
“I'm nothing but a demonic piece of shit!”
It's not like you to say sorry
This time he had the blurred image of Kikyo's face before he had cut her down, the look of pure sadness and pain. It ripped him apart to see that expression, but remembering that she had joined Naraku made the pain much more bearable.
I was waiting on a different story
He thought about the child they could have had, watching Kagome grow and grow, and then seeing their little baby, his first born. That could have already happened, he could've been watching them learn to take his or her first steps, could be holding them right now.
This time I'm mistaken
for handing you a heart worth breaking
The arrow had struck hard, all those years ago, pinning him to the tree. And there, a hundred yards away, there stood Kikyo with her bow, blood soaking her kimono from some unknown wound.
I've been wronged
I've been down
Been to the bottom of every bottle
These five words in my head
Scream `Are we having fun yet?'
He got up then and turned the music off, frustration and pain welling inside his tired mind. He lay back down beside Kagome and thought of nothing more, distracting himself with her scent, not the smell of her pain or blood, or even the smell of Naraku, the scent of Kagome, his sweet, beautiful Kagome, and fell into a blissful sleep, his arm around her shoulders protectively, his body gently molded against hers, keeping her warm.
Kagome woke with a start, realizing that there was someone's arm around her. With a jolt of her memory, she realized that it was Inuyasha, and that they, at least, were fixed.
Her body hurt badly, particularly her woman, a way deep down ache that made it hurt to walk or breath deeply. It gave her joy and extreme relief to feel him near her, his arm around her shoulders comfortingly and protectively.
She smiled slightly, happy for the first time in what seemed to be years, the enormous weight of her pain gone, leaving her feeling light as a feather, only the stretching of her stitches and the ache of her body bringing her down.
She rolled over carefully in Inuyasha's arms so that she was facing him, his arm now over her back, her hands curled against her breastbone. He moaned in his sleep and said, “Good morning.” without opening his eyes, his hand tightening over her back, bringing her closer to him.
“Good morning,” she repeated, kissing him on the cheek with a smile. He opened his eyes, and stared at her as if he'd never seen her before. “What?” she asked with a grin.
“I'm just so glad to see you smile. It seems like it's been forever.” He said, kissing her forehead.
He drew back afterwards, and looked a little serious, and said, “ You know there's still a fight waiting. Those insects carried his heart away, and with that, he can still live.”
“I know.” Kagome said, frowning. “We'll get him this time, don't worry about that.”
She didn't want to face Naraku again, but she knew that they couldn't just sit back and let him recuperate, either. He must have gone back to the feudal era, for there weren't any demons to create a body from in this time. But they would have trouble finding him.
“I know what we have to do, but we have time. Let's rest up and go when we can fight at our best. I just hope Miroku and Sango have trained in the past two years.”
“Yeah. I really hate the idea of you fighting, though.” Inuyasha said, holding her tighter. “I just keep remembering hearing you scream, and then thinking that you're hurting, and I can't save you. Every time you fight, I get scared to death that I'm going to lose you.”
Kagome wrapped her arms around Inuyasha, holding him tightly to let him know she heard him.
“I'm not going anywhere, Inuyasha. You won't lose me, but you see how scared I am, how fucking terrified I am every time you get hurt, when I hear you cry out in pain. Every single time, I wish I were strong enough to save you, to fight these demons off and keep you out of harm's way. But I know that I'm not."
"This time, though, it is my fight. But it's yours, too, and Miroku's, and Sango's. We all have a need for revenge against Naraku, and we all have every right to take it.”
“No one's questioning that.” Inuyasha said. “I don't really care about what happened 50 years ago anymore. Yeah, it hurt, but after what Kikyo has done, fuck taking vengeance for her; I'm taking my revenge for you.”
Kagome lay silent in his arms, thinking about all that had happened in the past, and how Inuyasha had been there through it all. Every night she had had a nightmare and woken up crying, he had wiped away her tears and told her that she was safe now, that he was there, and that nobody was going to be able to hurt her.
She looked into his amber eyes, and said, “Thank you, Inuyasha, for everything. Without you, I'd be lost.”
“Don't ever worry about it, Kagome, I'd still be stuck to a goddamn tree if it wasn't for you!”
This made them both laugh, and they looked at each other, for it seemed like they had never laughed before, that they were too busy being pissy or hurt to enjoy the very pleasure of laughter together.
“Yeah, well if I'd never gone down the well, I'd probably be in college, pouring over those god forsaken books, burning my brains out for stupid exams, and then grow old and lonely with nothing but a TV and a framed piece of paper to my life! Besides,” she added, in a more serious tone, “I wouldn't have you.”