InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Here Comes Santa Claws ❯ Jolly Old Saint Nicholas ( Chapter 12 )

Yay! I wrote another chapter! Boo! Classes started this week! Enjoy the chapter! Savor it until I get a chance to write the next one!

 

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I don't own Inuyasha. Sole rights belong to Rumiko Takahashi.

 

HERE COMES SANTA CLAWS

 

Chapter 12: Jolly Old Saint Nicholas

 

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A dark figure flitted through the darker shadows of the deserted hallway. Most of the torches had been extinguished, and the ones that remained were burning low as the long night started the inevitable march toward morning. Maybe the South Pole was the opposite of the North Pole, with eternal daylight now instead of darkness, but obviously Naraku had worked the same type of magic as Kaede had. The sun rose, the moon set, and set hours of daylight and darkness were observed.

 

The figure paused at each door, bending down to the crack between white-painted wood and marble hallway. He sniffed, trying to be quiet but sometimes having to fight coughs and gags as a less than hygienic smell invaded his sensitive nostrils. After a cursory examination, he would shake his head and bound to the next door. His sharp movements bespoke a quickly eroding store of patience.

 

“Stupid, stupid girl,” Inuyasha chanted under his breath as he took a deep sniff of the 86th door, swallowing a sneeze as he inhaled a strong odor of rotten pineapples. “Can't turn my back on her for a second. First she gets herself captured, then I have to trek all the way to the South Pole to rescue her sorry ass and drag her back home. Mortal girls are idiots.”

 

In a fit of anger, he skipped the next two doors altogether. Three doors later, he stopped, took a deep resigned breath, and doubled back to investigate those two doors. The first one carried the pungent aroma of moldy sweat socks mixed with rancid milk, but the other one hid a much more pleasant scent.

 

Inuyasha pressed his nose to the crack under the door as he caught a whiff of the sweet scent of vanilla and lavender, laced with just a touch of cinnamon. There was no doubt in his mind that what he sought lay on the other side, or had at least been there very recently. The weeks that Kagome had lived in the village had given Inuyasha plenty of opportunities to memorize her scent. It never failed to calm him down. He sighed, feeling a bit of the tension, resulting from having lost said girl, drain out of him.

 

As he gripped the doorknob in one clawed hand, a faint rhythmic thudding reached his sensitive ears. It sounded like footsteps. And they were getting closer. Inuyasha quickly opened the door just wide enough to slip inside and shut it as soon as he was in the room. Nobody barged in after him, so he figured that he had remained unseen.

 

It took several minutes for Inuyasha's eyes to adjust to the almost complete darkness of the room. He raked his eyes over the black and white décor, wrinkling his nose at the barely detectable odor of blood and despair that still clung to the furry pelts scattered around the room.

 

But the strongest scent, and the most pleasing, came from the large round bed.

 

Inuyasha padded over to the bed and studied the girl for a long moment. She slept with her arms thrown outward and her black hair fanned over the pillow in untidy tangles. An untouched plate of sandwiches and a beverage of some kind sat on the small nightstand.

 

Seizing Kagome's shoulder, he gave it a brief shake. “Wake up, little girl,” he hissed. “It's time to go.”

 

Kagome came awake with a yell that was instantly muffled by a clawed hand. Panicked and still mostly asleep, she did what any other girl would do.

 

Inuyasha yelped and jerked his hand away. “What'd you do that for?” He examined the slight indentations in his palm, courtesy of Kagome's teeth.

 

“Inuyasha?” Kagome tucked a strand of hair behind her ear and stared at him as if he were a ghost. “What—How—When did you get here?”

 

He scowled at her. “I'm here to rescue you, of course! You might show a little gratitude!” He shook his hand. “What'd you have to bite me for?”

 

Kagome narrowed her eyes at him. “You deserved it, jerk! Waking me up like that!”

 

Cradling his hand like it was mortally wounded, Inuyasha refused to answer.

 

Sighing, Kagome held out her hand. “Let me see.”

 

“Why? So you can bite me again?”

 

“Don't be silly. Give it to me.”

 

“No.” Inuyasha backed away from the bed. Truthfully, his hand didn't even hurt anymore. His pride was wounded more than anything else. He had fought bandits, demons, and demi-gods in his past with nary a scratch, yet a silly mortal girl was able to bite him.

 

“Inuyasha, stop being childish.” Kagome pushed the covers away and climbed out of bed. “Let me see,” she repeated, grabbing at his hand.

 

Inuyasha felt heat flooding his face as he noticed something that Kagome had apparently forgotten.

 

“What's wrong with you now?” Kagome stared at him, perplexed.

 

“Pants.” Spinning away from the girl, he fought to control the blush in his cheeks and the temptation to run away and forget this whole stupid rescue mission idea. “Pants, now,” he ground out between clenched teeth.

 

 

There was a muffled squeak behind him, followed by rustling cloth. “Don't you dare turn around!” Kagome's voice sounded strange, like she was trying to talk through a pile of blankets and an extra thick comforter.

 

“Why would I want to do that!?” His voice came out gruffer than he intended. “Nobody in their right mind wants to look at you!”

 

No sooner were the words out of his mouth than there was a firm yank on his hair. Hissing in anger, he whipped around to face Kagome. Unconsciously, his gaze flickered downwards and he saw with relief that she was now wearing pants. She didn't seem to notice or care. Her eyes snapped fire as she yanked on his hair again.

 

“Jerk!” she yelled with another vicious tug before releasing him. He stumbled back, rubbing his abused scalp.

 

With one last glower, she turned back to the nightstand and picked up the mug.

 

A faint scent reached his nose. Something smelled wrong. Inuyasha paused and took a deeper sniff. Abruptly he lunged for Kagome. “Stop!” he barked, smashing the mug from her hand. It hit the nightstand hard enough to crack where it teetered for a few seconds before rolling off onto the carpet, the last of its contents seeping into the plush white rug.

 

Kagome jumped as if he'd slapped her instead of the mug. “What'd you do that for?” Her anger, which had begun to cool somewhat, returned full force as she glared at the boy in front of her. “I haven't eaten anything since I left the North Pole. Instead, I've been grossed out by slugs and spiders, bossed around by a permanently pissed off demon bitch, and yelled at by a freaky woman with an ego the size of Tokyo! I'm hungry and thirsty and really not in the mood for any more of your crap!”

 

“Are you really that much of a moron?” Kagome sucked in her breath sharply at the insult. “I'm surprised the human race hasn't died out from gross stupidity!” Inuyasha plowed on, completely ignoring the girl's rising anger. He stabbed a clawed finger at the plate of sandwiches and the broken mug on the floor. “They're drugged, little girl. Eat one bite and you'd probably wake up in a nice little dungeon somewhere, if you woke up at all. Even a stupid human should know enough not to eat any food in the lair of the enemy!”

 

“Enemy? What enemy?” Kagome shouted back. “Naraku has been a perfect gentleman. You're the one who's insulted me and made it perfectly clear from the beginning that I'm useless and a complete waste of space!”

 

Grinding his teeth at the girl's obstinance, he let out a tiny growl. “Naraku is the enemy, little girl.” The disbelief on Kagome's face didn't change. Inuyasha struggled to ignore the urge to throttle her. “He always has been. That's why we have the barrier. Why we don't leave unless we have to. And why the old hag has been training the shit out of you. It's all to keep the world safe from Naraku's evil.”

 

 

Kagome crossed her arms over her chest and frowned at him. “You must have serious frostbite to the brain. Nobody's trained me to do anything, except to look at a big sparkly marble. Naraku was very nice to me, and he told me a thing or two.”

 

Some people were really too stupid to live. Inuyasha fought to control himself. Kaede would strip him of his position as Santa Claus if he gave in to the desire to smother a certain irritating human. She'd probably make that mangy wolf her new apprentice. The thought was enough to enable him to rein in his anger.

 

“Look,” he said in what he hoped was a reasonable tone, “we don't have time to stand here and argue. Kaede will explain everything once we're back home, okay?”

 

“Not my home,” Kagome muttered sullenly.

 

“What are you complaining about now?”

 

“Nothing, furball.”

 

“Fine. Let's get out of here, worthless.”

 

Kagome glowered at him, but said nothing. That was fine with Inuyasha. If she thought she could irritate him with the silent treatment, then she was dead wrong. Frankly, a little peace and quiet from her incessant chatter would be welcome.

 

Pressing his ear to the door, he listened for signs of life on the other side.

 

Nothing.

 

Motioning for Kagome to follow him, he opened the door and stepped into the hallway. He turned to make sure that the girl was behind him and saw that she had a puzzled frown on her face.

 

He sighed. “What is it this time?”

 

Kagome evidently forgot that she wasn't speaking to him. “I could have sworn Kagura locked the door after she brought me back. Did you pick the lock or something?”

 

“No.” His ears twitched nervously as he scanned the hallway in both directions. Who knew what might be roaming around at this hour? (Besides a mortal pain-in-the-neck and an increasingly short-tempered dog demon, of course). “It wasn't locked. You probably just imagined it. Come on.”

 

“But—“

 

 

“Shut your yap and follow me.” Fire leapt into Kagome's eyes and she sucked in a breath. Inuyasha slapped his hand over her mouth. “That means quietly, little girl,” he hissed. “Unless you want to be caught and spend the rest of your very short life here.”

 

Satisfied that he had bought a few more minutes of silence at least, Inuyasha started to retrace his steps. This place made his skin craw, and the constant buzzing in his ears wasn't helping.

 

Eighty-five, eighty-six, eighty-seven… At the eighty-eighth door Inuyasha stopped, flipping his ears in annoyance as the girl walked into him. This was the door. Once they walked through this door, it would only be a short hike to their ride off this godforsaken continent. That is, if Kuroro had made it back to Kaede after they were separated by that freak blizzard to let everyone know what was going on.

 

He opened the door.

 

He swore. “—goddamned sonofabitch! What the hell is going on!?”

 

Kagome tried to peer around him. “What? Is it the wrong door?”

 

“Shut up!” Inuyasha snapped. “I'm trying to concentrate.” Kagome huffed and crossed her arms over her chest, a scowl on her face that could rival an ogre demon's. He ignored her and scowled at the perfectly normal door that led into a perfectly normal hallway, just like the one they were standing in. This wasn't right. The door should lead outside. It was the one he had entered the building through. Wasn't it?

 

“I know it was the eighty-eighth door,” he muttered, mostly to himself. “I entered the building and turned left. Or was it right?” He shook his head, irritated. “No, I'm sure I turned right. Maybe I miscounted. Maybe it was the eighty-third door. Or the eighty-ninth.”

 

Inuyasha looked up and down the hallway. All was quiet, but how long would it stay that way. Cursing under his breath, he turned away from the one door and yanked open the one beside it.

 

Another hallway.

 

Inuyasha swore loudly, and then winced as the sound echoed through the deserted hallway. Abandoning any plan he might have had, he started opening doors willy-nilly. After fruitlessly opening half a dozen doors, each leading into another identical hallway, he stomped back to where Kagome was still standing.

 

“I could have told you this wouldn't work,” Kagome said. Her too-sweet, overly reasonable voice snapped his last nerve and he rounded on her.

 

“I am a demon,” he snarled. “And I'm Santa Claus. What could a silly mortal weakling with the lifespan of a sea slug know that I wouldn't?”

 

 

“To get outside we must go inside.”

 

“What is that supposed to mean?” Inuyasha asked, completely baffled. He twitched an ear, catching a very faint tap of approaching footsteps. They had, at the most, twenty minutes before whatever demon was coming stumbled across them. “You're cracked, little girl. And if you don't hurry up and spill your guts we're going to have company.”

 

Kagome looked worried at that and glanced around the hall as if the approaching demon was going to appear out of thin air. “It's what Kagura told me. The only way to get to the outside is through Naraku's throne room. All other doors just lead to other parts of the building.”

 

“Just fucking great!” He didn't want to believe her, but this was the kind of warped idea that would fit Naraku's egocentric personality. “Fine then! Which way to Naraku's throne room?”

 

Kagome shrugged. “I don't have a clue. Kagura led me down so many hallways, and they all look exactly alike.”

 

“You don't know?” Inuyasha ground out between clenched teeth. “Fat lot of good it'll do me if I can't even find Naraku's throne room! Any other useless ideas?”

 

“You're the all powerful demon! Use that super sniffer of yours to find him.”

 

“That would be a totally brilliant idea,” he spat out sarcastically, “except for one thing. Naraku knows how to hide his scent. It's basic apprentice stuff.”

 

Kagome opened her mouth, to possibly come back with another clever retort, but Inuyasha lunged for her and clapped a hand over her mouth. His ears twitched. The approaching footsteps sounded louder, probably only a few minutes away. Had they really stood arguing in the enemy's lair for that long? It couldn't have been more than a five or ten minutes. He hesitated, but an oddly shaped shadow slipping around the curve of the hallway decided him. Shifting his grip on the squirming girl to something more secure, he yanked open the nearest door and darted into new hallway.

 

“Let go of me!” Kagome snapped, tugging futilely against his hold. Inuyasha complied. The girl staggered into the wall as she was abruptly released. She opened her mouth, but Inuyasha glared at her so furiously that she shut it again. Footsteps sounded in the hallway they had just left, pausing for several agonizing seconds right outside the door, before continuing on and fading into the distance.

 

“Come on,” Inuyasha ordered. “We need to find Naraku's throne room so we can get off this godforsaken continent.”

 

“How are we going to do that? We don't even know where he is. And you said he can disguise his scent. And what do you mean, `It's basic apprentice stuff'?”

 

 

“Will you shut up for two fucking seconds!” Inuyasha was surprised when she obeyed immediately. He took a closer look at her, suddenly noticing the grayish pallor to her skin and the bruised circles under her eyes. There was a subtle pinched look to her face and she kept rubbing her hands over her arms as if she was cold.

 

He reached into an inner pocket of his jacket and thrust a slightly squashed package under Kagome's nose. “Here.”

 

“What's this?” She accepted the paper-wrapped item, which smelled strongly of bologna and spicy mustard. Gingerly unwrapping it, she found a bologna sandwich on rye bread with mustard and two thin slices of yellow cheese. “A sandwich, Inuyasha?”

 

“I forgot I had it, okay?” He guiltily examined the claws on his right hand as she looked up at him in surprise and gratitude. “You said you were hungry. Just eat it already.”

 

“This is so good!” Kagome ate up every crumb, not quite licking the paper wrapping. “Usually I don't even like bologna, but this is really good.”

 

“That better last you a while. I don't have anymore until we get outside to where I stashed the supplies.”

 

“You. Brought supplies. Isn't that a little too much like planning ahead, Inuyasha.”

 

“Oi!” Inuyasha flattened his ears in annoyance. How could one insignificant little human manage to be so completely irritating. And so completely right. He hadn't planned on bringing any supplies. And he knew, from having been around them for centuries, humans had a distressing need to eat several times a day.

 

“Sango and Miroku packed the supplies,” he muttered and grabbed her arm. “Let's get out of here before something else comes along.”

 

“Where are we going?” Kagome crumpled up the wrapper and shoved it into her pants pocket, complacently allowing Inuyasha to drag her after him now that she was no longer quite so hungry. “I really don't remember how to get to Naraku's throne room.”

 

“I know that. Just shut up so I can think.” Kagome huffed in annoyance, but he ignored her. Where are we going? Where are we going? I don't have a freaking clue. Maybe I can bash through a wall or something. I can't afford to run into anyone down here, especially—

 

The quick pattering of footsteps reached his sensitive ears. Shit! They were getting closer. Not having a whole lot of options, Inuyasha chose the nearest door and hustled them both through it, ignoring Kagome's startled exclamation. Motioning irritable for the girl to be quiet, he released her arm and pressed his ear to the rough wood of the door. Five nervous breaths later he caught the faint sound of hurrying feet heading away from them.

 

“Um, Inuyasha?”

 

 

“What is it now?” Inuyasha turned around, prepared for another endlessly boring hallway just like all the others they had passed through.

 

It wasn't.

 

“Bloody shit!”

 

Inuyasha's voice bounced off the dingy gray walls of the enormous circular room, bare of any furnishings except for a towering block-shaped object in the exact center. A dirty sheet that may have once been white covered it, preventing him from seeing what was inside. Bunches of wilted flowers--chrysanthemums, pincushion flowers, and daisies among them—lay in sad heaps against the base. To one side, and not quite touching, was a pile of dirty rags. Bits of smashed crockery lined the floor against the wall, continuing around the room in an unbroken line except where the opening of the door had pushed pieces out of alignment.

 

There were no windows. No other doors. No escape.

 

Kagome shrieked as the pile of dirty rags heaved and disgorged a squat, vaguely toad-like demon. It rushed at them. Inuyasha prepared to fight, but the creature ignored them both. Instead, it fell on its knees by the door and began picking up the pieces of crockery that had been pushed aside. Making a low moaning sound, it cradled each piece in its stubby hands, stroking them before laying them reverently back in line with the rest of the shards.

 

“Mean,” it crooned. “Disgusting abomination. In Jaken's room. Touching Jaken's stuff. Lord wouldn't like it. No, no. Filthy half-breed must go.”

 

“Hey!” Inuyasha grabbed at the little demon, but Jaken scurried out of reach with surprising agility. “Who are you calling an abomination?”

 

“Wait, Inuyasha! Don't hurt him! He's mad but harmless.” Kagome peered at the demon, which had retreated to his nest of rags. “I think.”

 

“Feh! You're just another soft-hearted wench,” Inuyasha scoffed, but he didn't pursue the sad little creature.

 

Jaken huddled on the dirty rags, skinny arms wrapped around his legs. “Abomination's in trouble,” he chanted, rocking back and forth. “Lord would smile, yes he would!”

 

Kagome started to approach Jaken. He stopped chanting, but began to hum tunelessly. All without taking his overlarge, buggy eyes off of her. Inuyasha grabbed her by the arm and shoved her behind him.

 

“Are you crazy?” he hissed. He pointed at Jaken. “That thing is completely bonkers! It would tear your throat out as soon as you got close enough! And you want to make friends with it?”

 

 

“Jaken does not make friends with half-breeds or human witches! Was great demon once! Lord feared by all! Lord not tolerate half-breed mistakes!”

 

“I talked to Naraku,” Kagome said, confused by Jaken's rambling speech. “He didn't say anything against half-breeds. He said that lots of half demons live at the South Pole.”

 

Jaken suddenly stood up, trembling with two and a half feet of fury. He pointed a knobby green finger at Kagome, ignoring Inuyasha's growl of warning. “Naraku is not Jaken's Lord! Lord was great! Lowly human cattle should not gaze upon Lord's perfection! Dirty abomination mouth should not defile Lord's name with the speaking of it!”

 

“Who's your Lord?” Inuyasha sneered. “The Easter Bunny?” Stupid excuse for a demon. Shippou could take him. I don't know why Naraku keeps him around. His babbling would drive me insane within a week! He glanced at Kagome and gritted his teeth. Stupid girl. I know that look! There is no way in Hell I am dragging this demon's loony carcass all the way to the North Pole.

 

Jaken was now so mad that he was hopping from foot to foot. “Lord was great demon lord! Jaken was right hand demon! Stupid, filthy mongrel! Lord fix you good!” And he turned around and ripped the sheet off of the block-shaped object.

 

Inuyasha felt his mouth drop open. Holy…

 

The clear glass enclosure encased a gigantic white dog with long ears and a crescent-shaped mark on its forehead. Its face was locked into a snarl of pure rage, but the eyes glittered with a blank stare from which all the life had been leached.

 

Kagome prodded his arm. “What's gotten into you, Inuyasha? You look like you've seen the Ghost of Christmas Past. Inuyasha?”

 

“It's my brother.” Inuyasha couldn't stop staring. Jaken leaned against the cage, crooning and stroking the glass.

 

“Your brother?” Kagome's voice broke into his jumbled thoughts. “Your brother looks like a giant white dog. How is that possible?”

 

He shot her a look of disgust. “Half-brother. Sesshoumaru was a full demon. We had the same father, but that's all we had in common.” Unwillingly, his eyes were drawn back to the frozen form of one of his greatest tormentors. His brother had always seemed so eternal and undefeatable; no matter how often Inuyasha tried to bring him down himself. To see Sesshoumaru like this was disturbing.

 

“Is he dead?” Kagome's voice squeaked on the last word.

 

“Yeah.”

 

 

“Oh, Inuyasha. I'm so sorry.” He glanced at the girl to see that she had her hands over her mouth and her big brown eyes had filled with tears.

 

“Oi, wench, stop crying!” Tears made him uncomfortable; he couldn't control them. As much as he hated to admit it, Kagome's tears made him feel uneasy and willing to do anything to stop them. “It's not like we were ever close. He tried to kill me every time we ran into each other.”

 

“That's horrible!” The mortal girl's voice dripped with sympathy. “No wonder you're such a prickly jerk.”

 

“Hey—“

 

“Shut up!” Jaken stopped stroking the glass and began jumping up and down again. “Lord will kill filthy mongrel! Yes! Lord tear abomination and human cow to bloody bits. Then Jaken be rewarded! Jaken is good servant!”

 

Both Kagome and Inuyasha stared at the little demon. “You did know that Sesshoumaru is dead, didn't you?” Inuyasha asked.

 

“You dare to defile--” Jaken yelped as Inuyasha stepped forward and slammed his fist into the toad-demon's face. He crashed into the glass cage, looking dazed.

 

“Crazy demon,” Inuyasha growled.

 

“Inuyasha—“

 

Kagome's tone was faintly reproving, but he didn't have time for soft-hearted female whining. Grabbing her wrist, he pulled her after him to the door. His sharp ears didn't catch any hint of footsteps, and he could only hope that the ranting of a certain crazy green demon had gone unnoticed. “Let's find Naraku's throne room and get out of this Hellhole!”

 

“You'll never find it on your own.”

 

Against his will, Inuyasha stopped and looked over his shoulder. Jaken had climbed unsteadily to his feet, looking remarkably lucid for the first time since they had entered the room. He tottered over to his pile of rags, selected one, and started polishing the glass where he had been thrown. Inuyasha held his tongue for once. Something smelled odd.

 

“Throne room moves randomly.” Jaken studied the glass for a moment before giving it a few more swipes with his rag. Straightening, he looked over his shoulder at them and stretched his mouth in a grin that was neither reassuring nor happy. “Stupid half-breed never make it through maze of miasma that surrounds throne room. But Jaken knows way. See? Jaken is crazy. Jaken is harmless. But Jaken does not forget. No. Dark Lord will pay and Jaken will dance happy-dance on dismembered corpse.” The little demon finished his speech with a high-pitched giggle.

 

 

Swallowing several things he would have like to say but that would have probably pushed Jaken over the razor-thin edge of sanity, Inuyasha settled for glaring at the toad-demon. “Fine. If you can get us out of here in one piece, you'll get your revenge.”

 

Jaken giggled again, dropped the rag he was using, and scurried back to his nest. After rummaging around for a bit, he fished out an odd-looking disk with a hole punched in one end and a dirty string threaded through it. This he slipped over his head, carefully tucking the disk out of sight under his clothes. “This way,” he hissed, opening the door and scuttling into the hallway before anyone could stop him.

 

Inuyasha took a deep breath and nodded to Kagome, who looked like she was having second or third thoughts about trusting the mad demon. “Let's go.”

 

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To be continued…

 

The next chapter will come. Sooner or later!

 

Phobia of the Week: Hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia- Fear of long words

 

You'd think that would be a shorter word, wouldn't you?