InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Hidden Hanyou ❯ Awake, But Sill Caught Up in the Past ( Chapter 4 )
[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]
By: sheshar 
Anime/Manga: InuYasha Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Drama / Hentai / Romance / Suspense / Angst | Type: Alternate Universe | Uploaded On: 04.01.2014 | Pages: 5 | Words: 7.6K | Visits: 384 | Status: Work In Progress
Anime/Manga: InuYasha Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Drama / Hentai / Romance / Suspense / Angst | Type: Alternate Universe | Uploaded On: 04.01.2014 | Pages: 5 | Words: 7.6K | Visits: 384 | Status: Work In Progress
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Higurashi House 1946
Kagome Higurashi listened to the petering pattern of rain as she folded laundry. The weather was becoming unforgivably cold, but as Naraku had been stationed in Sendai for the past month, she didn’t want to spend any more on wood or oil than was absolutely necessary. There was a small electric heater, but that was reserved for the times he visited, plus she was nervous she would fall asleep with it on and burn down the entire shrine.
As it was, she had begun to siphon from the money she sent her mother and grandfather, hoping the lesser amount would see them through the month as well.
Not wanting to immediately delve into the emergency ramen rations, she had begun to purchase extra food for her guest, as well as bandages and the necessary but expensive herbs and ingredients she used in the draughts she introduced into his system on a daily basis.
To be honest, she was exceedingly relieved that her suitor was kept away from Tokyo, but his absence illustrated her near total dependence upon him and she didn't want to arouse his suspicions by asking for more on top of what he gave her for the month.
He was, by nature, a very suspicious man.
She brought in a little cash every day laundering, but since the War had been going on far longer than any had speculated, her once thriving little business was down to nine or ten regular customers a month, and most of those were the wives and families of Naraku's men.
Still, her little business was all she had- all she really owned- other than her Shrine and the land it sat upon and despite its condition, it was still hers and she was fiercely proud of her bit of property and the ancestry it entailed.
It was her last binding tie to the father she hardly knew.
She fit the last batch of trousers into a linen sack and turned off the light of her workspace. She was eager to go back to her bedroom, the only room in the house she did keep regularly heated. And it wasn’t even heated for her benefit.
The iron stove was on the other side of her small room, but Kagome was certain the hanyou could feel the warmth. The walls were so thin, that if she could feel it from her bed, it was likely he would be able to from the closet room. It was no more than two steps from her bed to the wall that separated him from the rest of the world.
One night, she had reached out, and though she had to stretch, she placed a palm flat against the wall and wondered if he dreamt while in the state of sleep she forced upon him.
She rubbed her eyes to clear her mind of such nonsense but allowed a halfhearted smile at the situation she found herself to be in.
Kagome had been caring for the young man, now twenty-four, for the past week and a half. He was conscious very little of the time, but it was an intentional and healing slumber rather than a coma.
She slipped into his water and broth herbs that would keep him bedridden and nearly immobile for most of the day and had only stopped administering them the morning before. He needed to heal, and if Inuyasha had a semblance of the personality he had when she first knew him, he would not willingly recuperate cautiously or on her terms.
He was able to be awoken at her gentle nudging for meals, and in order that she should assist him to his bucket; the rest of the days and nights he slept, even when she checked and changed his bandages.
She suspected that Inuyasha, though in this semiconscious state, was extremely embarrassed at having to do something as personal as emptying his bowels before her. His eyes remained closed when she both brought the bucket to him and when she returned after emptying it and scouring it.
Kagome promised him that as soon as he became more mobile, she would allow him to sneak to the toilet in the bathroom across the hall from her bedroom. Inuyasha would nod weakly, already drifting off, but Kagome knew that they would have to work out some sort of system when he was capable.
As she checked the locks on the doors, anticipating nightfall, Kagome became bursting with the thoughts that often plagued her at dusk.
Her life really hadn't gone in the direction she had anticipated, and the turn of events often caused her to lapse into moments of melancholy and depression. She still wanted so much- a family, children, and freedom from this all-encompassing fear that had taken over her life. She had wanted to be a scholar, had excelled in history, and had envisioned herself teaching or working at a museum at the very least. She had no taste for the medical or legal world- it was the callings of a bygone era that had her entranced and excited.
But other responsibilities got in the way. Her mother became ill when Kagome was nineteen and her physician had recommended a permanent solution: For a climate that would suit her disposition, Sachiko Higurashi would join her father in law in California, with the request that Kagome transfer schools and follow the next semester. But though the elder Higurashi soon began to improve, it was not an immediate transformation, and she was unable to work or support herself. Kagome made the decision without a sound but with much regret. She would give up school to make the money to sustain her mother and grandfather in the United States.
Kagome had every intention of returning to her studies once her mother was employed, but for one reason or another, she never quite got to it. Now the University sat dark and closed until further notice from the Government.
She was barely in her twenties, yet she felt as though she had taken an unalterable path.
Her stomach rumbled, diverting her attention for a moment. Better not be late with his dinner, or I'll get the look, she thought, fondly. Though he wasn't really speaking much, he managed to convey so much with his eyes. Expressive eyes. Gorgeous eyes. Ahh, Kagome, you are such an idiot.
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As Inuyasha lay there, he felt more conscious than at any time since the attack. His stomach was turning over, ready for food, ears straining for the soft footfalls of his protector. He closed his eyes and stretched his uninjured leg out and waited for her to enter. Wench was taking entirely too long. After what he calculated to be about a quarter of an hour, he became sleepy again, his lucidity fighting a losing battle with his eyelids. Damn. He had been so sure he was gonna be able to stay awake and he was troubled at the thought of falling asleep again before he could really speak to Kagome. His left ear tweaked a bit as he heard the hinge, but he struggled still for awareness.
“Wake up.”
“nnnnn.”
“Wake up Inuyasha.”
“Noo.”
“Please.”
̶ 0;Nnnn”
“I have food.”
One eye opened and analyzed the girl before him.
“Hungry?” she asked, reaching for a small bowl beside her.
“You said you had food,” he said, sniffing the air, “and that isn't food.”
“I want to see how much your stomach can handle first,” Kagome told him, inexplicably excited that he was speaking in sentences. The only words he had managed to mutter before, other than when he begged her to stay, were yes, no, and fuck.
“If you want, I can mash up some raw yams and feed you a paste?” She smiled as he scrunched his nose.
“I think I'll take my chances with whatever’s in the bowl,” his voice cracked, dry from thirst. He eyed the dish and water glass she came with every day and began to bend at the waist in order to sit himself up. He groaned from the slight effort and Kagome placed a hand on his uninjured shoulder to stop him.
“Wait.” She set the bowl down. “You’re just now coming out of this, Inuyasha. Let me help you up.”
“Keh, I can do it. I feel a lot better. Except for my arm.” He paused. “And my chest. And my leg. And the back of my head...Wait.” He cocked his head at her. “Out of what? I knew it, bitch, you drugged me!”
She narrowed her eyes. “Of course I did, you ass. I needed you to heal, and from the look of you trying to get up already, I guess I made the right decision.” Kagome looked at him, biting her lip. How could she make him understand? “You were going to die.”
He was somewhat mollified, but decided his pride and position as a man were at stake. Inuyasha tried to sit forward again on his own but his arm stiffened as he placed his weight upon it. The movement sent a jolt of pain carousing through his chest and he bit his cheek in response to the shock.
“Shh, now let me help you, baka.”
“Fine, but I don't think a little girl like you can lift me.”
“How do you think you got in here, Inuyasha? Besides, I'm not exactly the daintiest of girls,” she said a little dryly.
Catching the wry tone of her voice, Inuyasha wondered if she was somehow embarrassed of her figure. He quickly wrought a critical eye over her body. She was tall, and though not exactly slender, one could in no way call her fat. The red plaid button up dress reached right below the knee, contrasting the woolen material from the surface of her calves while her hips flared out enticingly from her firm waist. She was a Master's construct brought to life, soft and lush and she'd have to be dense to not realize how incredibly sex-
“Ready?” Kagome interrupted his reverie and ambled on her knees until she was directly beside him. She looked him up and down, twisting her mouth a little in an expression that denoted extreme concentration. Wisps of hair escaped her messy pony tail, and Inuyasha was certain she could look no cuter than she did in that moment.
It's the only thing that will work, Kagome decided as she grasped an overhead beam and lifted one leg. She arranged it on the other side of Inuyasha's hip, near, but not touching, his injury. Shifting, she placed herself right atop of him, careful not to make contact with him anywhere other than the gentle graze of her thigh and knee against his waist. She allowed a small grin to appear on her features as she looked down at Inuyasha- himself brandishing a look of pure shock and confusion.
“All right, Inuyasha, just relax.”
“Kag-”
“Don't get excited, puppy, it's the only way I can get a good grip on you,” Kagome informed him, hands on hips, looking every bit as authoritative as she sounded. She tried to hold back any signs of the visible giddiness she felt.
The hanyou smiled, nervous of the intimacy. “I have something you can get a gri-Owww! Kagome! What the fuck?!” He used his good arm to rub his nose.
“Isn't that how you punish a bad doggy? By tweaking his nose?” Without warning, Kagome moved forward and slid her arms under his shoulders. With a little more maneuvering, she was able to lock the crooks of her arms under both his armpits. Her head fit in the curve of his shoulder, and as she braced herself to the task, she had to resist the urge to rub against his neck.
“Bitch, I'm half fuckin' human, and you do that when they piss on the floor, not when they’re about to get-”
“Inuyasha....” Kagome warned. He closed his mouth and breathed in the flesh of her neck, eyes wavering slightly. He was dazed for a moment, but snapped back when he heard her command:
“Alright, one, two, three!” She used all of her strength to pull him up, while he used his good arm to push as he scooted upwards. As he was making progress, the blanket slid down revealing his shorts and muscular legs, one tanned and sinuous, the other stout with bandages.
Kagome, now on her haunches, strained hard to pull one final time. Her lower body was pushing down just as he tilted his hips upward, causing her bottom to press against the core of his shorts. The intensity of the impact led her to nearly release her grip on his arms and for him to become fully erect.
He had already been hardening as she straddled his body, and the feel of her pressed against him was too much for him to control.
He hoped she hadn't noticed.
She hoped he didn't notice that she noticed.
Kagome assisted the now sweating hanyou to rest his back and head against a pillow propped up behind him.
His leg hurt a little worse, but the chest pain seemed to lessen. His head was reeling though, probably, he reasoned, because of the shit she had been serving him. He made a mental note to bring that subject up again at a later time.
Kagome checked him over swiftly to make sure none of his wounds had reopened, when her eyes alighted towards his upper thigh. She quickly averted her gaze and returned to her former position beside him, busying herself with stirring the contents of the bowl she brought.
As he adjusted to his new position, he realized what was exposed. He grabbed the blanket and pulled it onto his lap above the tented fabric of his shorts.
“Eat,” she demanded, a little discomposed, wanting to forget how it felt to be so close in that way and the indisputable reaction of his body. She spooned the broth and leaned forward.
Obligingly, Inuyasha accepted the air-cooled soup and swallowed, his embarrassment ebbing. It was the first time in weeks he had anything that had been cooked with meat. He debated whether there were enough bits of chicken for it to be considered a meat dish, but decided he didn't care. He wanted more, and couldn't wait until he could start on something heartier. He knew looked frail and sickly.
She fed him in silence, giving him the opportunity to reflect.
His home land was in a state of war against hanyou and a few other groups that the government deemed to be the cause of its recent economic collapse. Why hanyou were blamed, Inuyasha was not quite sure; why were any one race of people prosecuted? It was never for the reasons publicly stated. It was a purge that had been simmering since even before he was born, but when he was younger, people usually only voiced their prejudices behind closed doors, not to his face.
He left for the US after his dad died, and visited only occasionally, going back for holidays and to spend time with his mom. The visits decreased when Sango began attending the academy in Boston, so when he went back during his second year of college, he was floored at the blatant bigotry and ill treatment of his kind.
After the winter, he did not return until years later, when he got the letter from Sango, explaining in detail her circumstances.
Sango had gone back to Japan when she was fifteen or sixteen to stay with their emotionally scarred mother and to attend high school. When it was time to choose a college, she chose Kyoto University, it being the alma mater of her father, and the school of choice of her boyfriend Miroku.
Inuyasha and Miroku Ageda had been college classmates and Miroku’s father was acquainted with his stepmother. His little sister Sango had been infatuated with the dark and mysterious older boy her brother brought home, and Miroku exhibited a distinct fondness for her as well.
When the two finally expressed their mutual interest, Inuyasha could say that he was nothing short of relieved that such a good man would be willing to take on his obstinate sister. Miroku called her Taijiya, or slayer, for her tenacity and she called him Monk, for his reluctance to kiss or hold hands in public.
His sister’s relationship with Kagome had been long distance since then, the girls exchanging letters and the odd phone call on birthdays or holidays. For the first few months, he knew, the girls would take the train out to visit one another, but after Kagome’s mother left, she had no time for any activities other than work or school, and from what Sango said, school did not last long.
He ached knowing what she had given up in order to care for her family. As he swallowed another spoonful, Inuyasha wondered if he would ever meet someone who would do such a thing for him. Give up everything for his benefit. He wondered if Kagome would do it for him.
Idiot, he thought, catching her eye as she fed him. She already has.
Not two years into her schooling, however, Sango was informed by her school that it was rescinding its invitation to her due to her brother’s hanyou status. She moved back to Tokyo with her mother.
By that time, Mom had lost her job and Sango explained, via telephone, that they were no longer welcome in certain shops and businesses. She had to close her bank accounts and the neighborhood children had been breaking their windows so often that boards permanently replaced the glass.
Someone had filed a complaint that she was in possession of “salacious and pro-hanyou material” and the two women had been fined so much they had gone through his mother’s savings just to keep up with the house payments.
Inuyasha knew that he needed to get his mother out. The treatment she endured was due to the parentage of her son. His father was not there to protect her. The duty fell to him.
But there had been two problems. First, as hanyous were being forcibly detained in Purification Centers and in many cases systematically murdered, Inuyasha could not just fly over and waltz right into Tokyo. By the time he realized how awful things really were, it had gotten exceedingly dangerous.
He had a plane charted to drop him off in a distant village in the north, and had made his way south, hiding in the surrounding forests and countryside. Entire cities had been decimated due to their hanyou populations and those that remained had been clustered into ghettos.
Too often Inuyasha met with many places that were nearly deserted.
The foremost difficulty was that his mother refused to leave the country in which her beloved first husband was buried in.
He had spent the better part of a year in the Hanyou Opposition which smuggled half-bloods out of Japan with false identities. The job was a loose connection of individuals and paid nothing; there had been weeks that had gone by without anything more than stolen cans of food or wild plants or the occasional rabbit or pigeon. He couldn't just walk into a restaurant or grocery store or even risk making a big enough fire to cook larger game with. Many days, he suffered without anything at all.
His brother often wired money into a private account which he could access when he dared enter the bigger cities once every month, but Inuyasha used the money sparingly in order to acquire false papers for hanyous and their families and left the rest in places that Sango could retrieve unseen, so that she and her mom could eat and pay their bills.
His human appearance and a hat could have helped him pass through the cities undetected, except for the full demons the government had hired to sniff out half-bloods trying to do just that.
He seethed at the betrayal.
Despite his situation, his mother was unyielding. However distressed she was over her own condition or the danger she put her son in, there was nothing he could say to convince his mom. And the worst part was, Sango had refused to go back without her mother.
Fucking women not knowing what’s best for them, he thought tenderly. A moment of sadness washed over him. His mother died because of her unending love of his father. Because of what he was. The moment passed, not because he didn't miss or mourn his mother, but because he knew, as Sango knew, that his mother had been awaiting the hour when she could join her mate in whatever afterlife awaited.
No, he shouldn't dwell on his mother's death now.
He couldn't save his mom. But now he knew Sango was safe, perhaps even home. And if he could just sit this out, at least until his brother could work some more magic, he would make it home to see his family again. He took in the last of broth and drank from the glass of water she held to his mouth.
As Kagome fed him she noticed his concentration and tried not to distract him. She took to examining his bandaged arm and torso instead. The blanket that had covered him was pooled around his waist, his navy under shorts, the only salvageable item of clothing, peeping from beneath the woolen folds.
She admitted, with great reluctance, that the person before her was still capable of eliciting such turmoil and ache as none other in her life had ever been able to do.
When the broth and water had been consumed, Kagome slid a finger along his knuckles to get his attention.
“Time to change your bandages. I'll be right back.” She made her way to the hidden door, turning her neck as she got on all fours. “Don't move.” She warned ironically and let the wall shut into place.
Inuyasha watched her backside disappear. She looked different. She smelled different. She even acted different. She was more subdued, so hesitant to speak. Everything about her seemed so...off. What had happened to her since the last time he had seen her? Sango had rarely mentioned Kagome, knowing a bit of how things had ended between them, not wanting to get involved in any manner.
Ended. Ha. As if anything had even begun.
He thought back on the last night he had seen her. Baka. It was all his fault: he knew it, she knew it, and there was no way to go back and change it. But now that he was here, under her protection, he would see to it that he attempted to fix it. The silver-haired man sighed, memories of Kagome's brief intrusion into his life running vividly amok.
Collecting the bandages and herbs from her kitchen, Kagome grabbed a tube of cream without realizing the cap had not been properly sealed. A small puff of white spurted out and painted the tip of her nose, before falling in a lump to the floor. Kagome searched for a towel to wipe off the cream that had been chilled by the kitchen’s frosty temperature and spied one on the kitchen table. She had just reached the slab when the memory took her, rendering her motionless for a just a moment. The medicinal cream had reminded her of the last night she had seen Inuyasha as a girl.
Oh, how young and stupid I was, Kagome thought and gave her head a thorough shake, as though she were trying to dispel the memoires and rid herself of the idiot she once was. As that particular night’s events coursed through her mind, she realized that both the person and events would be stuck there forever.
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Comb ined Memoires
((5 years earlier- Sango's room-1941))
“I have no idea what you are talking about.”
“Inuyasha, I have sat here for the last twenty minutes talking to you, and all you can do is lay face down on my bed, squeezing that stupid ball!”
“Well, I don't see how that means I’m attracted in her,” he countered, breathing in the fading scent of Kagome from his sister's pillow. She's right, he thought miserably, I can't hide it.
He forced himself to look up at his little sister, a smirk which was eerily similar to his own, gracing her lips.
“Sango...”
“Just don't hurt her you idiot.”
He turned his face back into the pillow.
((5 years Earlier- Kagome's house-1941))
“You just seem, I'm not sure, honey, but- you seem happier, somehow. Has something happened?” Sachiko Higurashi looked meaningfully at her young daughter, who was at the moment, blushing from hairline to collar.
“I don't know what you mean?” She filled her mouth with rice in a futile attempt to end this particular line of questioning.
“Kagome, you have spent the last two days smiling nonstop. And I mean nonstop. Look! You are smiling right now!”
Kagome choked a bit on a couple grains. “Can't a girl just love....life?” Lame, Kagome, real lame. I'm sure that’ll throw her off the trail.
“Maybe if I substitute life with Hanyou, then I think we will have gotten somewhere.”
“Mom!” Kagome stared at her parent, wide eyed, dismayed at her mother’s smug mien. How had she guessed? Had Sango told her? Kagome ruled that out, but questioned how in the world her mother could see right through her. I'm such a baka. She licked a piece of cabbage from her lip, and in doing so, flushed at the memory of his lips on hers. Stop! Stop! Stop! It was just a kiss, she mooned happily.
That’s what I thought, her mother internally commented.
“Just be careful, Kagome. He's a little older, and I don't want to see you hurt.”
Coming clean, Kagome grumbled, “Yes mam”.
((Inuyasha's House-1941))
The four of them were sitting around the long table in the dining room, the remains of a cake littering the cloth and platter positioned at the center.
“Inuyasha, you apologize to Kagome, right this minute!” Taya Miyamoto spouted, even though she was attempting to hide the hiccups of laughter. She couldn't help it, Kagome looked so silly with whipped cream sliding slowly down her cheek. It had been an accident really. Her son had been making a point about the United States' President when he flung his fork to the side, and sprayed the poor girl with a dollop of white cream. She looked so surprised that no one could hold in their laughter, including the affected girl herself.
Inuyasha could not help but notice how startlingly appealing Kagome was to him, her eyes bright with laughter, chest panting for air.
Sango laughed as well, but noticed her brother's attentions to her best friend. Please don't let him mess this up, she prayed. Please!
“I'm s-or-rr-y Ka-go-meee,” he was unable to hold back.
Kagome imitated an air of offense. Throwing him a cloth napkin, she instructed, “You put it there, now take it off.” His laughter died down and the landscape of his face changed, narrowing as he stared directly into her eyes. Nervous under his gaze, she turned her cheek outwards, awaiting his ministrations, while holding him in her peripheral vision. “I'm waiting, sir.”
“All right, if that's what you want,” he warned, and before she could stop him, he leaned forward, took her head into his hands and in one languorous lick, procured the cream off of her cheek with his tongue.
She settled down the instant he made contact, her breath stilling, unable to think. Heat pulsed through her body, and she nearly moaned as she recalled the kiss they had shared just days earlier. Before she could form a sound, she remembered where she was and who she was with. Inuyasha swallowed without once averting his inspection of her face. Like it, Kagome? He thought to himself.
“Inuyasha! That is the most disgusting thing I have ever seen!” His mother admonished, her tone incredulous and cross. “Apologize and go get a wet cloth. Kagome,” she began as her son jumped from his seat, “Excuse my son, he is a beast with no manners. It's the American in him, and-”
“Please, mam, don't be mad,” Kagome interrupted. “I'm not upset at all, it was just a joke, and I know he meant no harm.” Kagome's voice was soft and lilting, something that did not go unnoticed by the elder woman.
Something is going on, she thought to herself. I should have known when that dog ran to the door to greet her. Pulling out her chair? I must be getting old to not notice when my little boy is interested...she stopped her thoughts there. Kagome. Her daughter's human best friend and her hanyou son.
“Sango, take Kagome up to your room so she can wash up. Who knows where my son's tongue has been.”
Both Sango and Kagome regarded the older woman, Sango wondering if her mom meant it in a vulgar way and Kagome willing herself not to cry at the thought. Taya watched the two teenagers troop up the stairs, more quiet and more subdued than usual.
She heard a knocking sound from the kitchen
“Inuyasha. In here-now!”
The handsome young man walked in slowly, ears flattened, running a hand through his hair.
“Listen, I'll go apologize, but I'm-”
“Sit down, Inuyasha, I'm sure she's not mad either” she barked, “but that's exactly the problem”.
“Mom, I've lost you.”
“Inuyasha, don't play with me because I'm not going to play games with you. That girl is only fifteen. FIFTEEN. Do you understand me? No, don't interrupt,” she told him when she saw his nostrils flair in anger and embarrassment. “Not only that, but she is Sango's closest friend, and from what I understand, has never even had a boyfriend. And here you come, handsome and charming COLLEGE kid that you are, and pay her a little attention. Sango's told me about all your girls back at home, all the parties and dates between classes. What are you getting at, son?”
“Mom, it's not like that, I swear, it's not like the girls back in the States, I wouldn't push her like that.” Dimmit, he admitted he liked her. “It's...it's different.” He finished, both at a loss of words, and with the desire to not let any more information about his feelings for Kagome slip.
“That may be...Inuyasha, I'm sorry, Kagome is such a sweet girl, with a lot going for her. There's something else, but I don't know how to bring it up without sounding like a hypocrite.”
“Hn?” He questioned rudely. He was quite possibly the most upset he had ever been with his mom for implying that he would just use Kagome and throw her away. And he was a little miffed that his mom would suggest that Kagome would be so shallowly interested in him. She's right though, I am cute, he thought and his right ear twitched as he tried not to smile.
“You know how much I loved your father, son. With everything I could possibly feel. He was my life. When he passed-well, you know, I have never been the same. Even with Sango’s father...but I got you out of it, and I am not saying that you were a mistake, so please do not look so hurt! What I am trying to say, badly, is if you take a human partner, you have to realize that the bond will have to be that much stronger. There is so much bigotry and prejudice, and to pull that girl into a life she doesn't know and may not be able to handle is just wrong. I'm not saying you’re planning on marrying her, Inuyasha, but look around you. You know that this may be your last trip back. Things have gotten too bad for hanyou here. It's not the same, from when I was younger. Things are different. You've heard the rumors? Purification camps and plans for hanyou ghettos? You may laugh, but this is the future, and if you were to become involved with Kagome, think about what will happen to her, to the both of you because of who you are.”
“Finished mother?”
She knew he was angry. The formal way in which he addressed her was clear. She had pushed him enough.
“Goodnight, son.”
Inuyasha kept his head down as his mother walked up the stairs towards her bedroom. He grasped the back of the chair that Kagome had been sitting in, tracing his fingers along the scalloped ridges. As much as he would rather die than admit it, his mom had made sense. She was right. In a way, the bond between human and demon mates would have to withstand so much more than a traditional pairing.
It wasn't fucking fair, but of course, what was?
((Sango’s Room))
“Oh, my God! Kagome!” Sango had squealed as soon as they had closed the door to her bedroom. “I am not saying that was the sexiest thing I have ever seen. Because that was my brother. But yeah, it pretty much was!”
“Shhhh, Sango, he'll hear you”, Kagome intoned, glancing at the door, nervous that he was listening with adorable little hanyou ears.
“Spill it Kagome,” Sango demanded. “Do you like my brother or not?”
The girl with the long, unbound hair trembled at bit at her friend’s scrutiny. If she told Sango, that would make it real. Kagome wilted under pressure. What if he doesn't like me? What if this is all one big joke or some pastime or...she thought of the girl Sango had told her about, and whom Inuyasha admitted to kissing. About the comment his mother had made. She closed her eyes.
Fuck it, she thought wildly. Opening one eye and examining her friend, she confessed. “I do...is that bad?”
“We'll be sisters!” Sango threw her arms around her best friend, sincerely happy that the two people she cared most about had found something special in one another.
“Ok, wait, wait, wait! NO one has said anything about marriage or a relationship even. Sango, please don't tell him I am saying this. If anything happens...I want it to be, well, natural. I don't want anyone to interfere.”
“Gotcha.” Sango curbed her excitement when she saw the clock. “Your mom's gonna be here any minute. Let's wait for her downstairs. It's freezing up here”.
Kagome fasted her coat buttons, recalling that she had done this very activity when he had kissed her the other day in the kitchen. My first kiss, she thought dreamily. Oh, Inuyasha.
Downstairs, Inuyasha heard Kagome ask his sister to attend a show with her the next evening as Sango's door opened and hasty footsteps hit the stairs. He could smell her coming down, as distinct from his sister's flowery scent as could be.
From the moment he had met her, Inuyasha had felt a stirring in him he could neither name nor even attempt to describe. A feeling of peace and tranquility, a delight and an unidentified warmth, that given time, could have been love. He wondered if he would ever feel that again.
Stop. He had to do it now, or he would never be able to let her go
Kagome followed her friend down the stairs and noted that the lights to the dining room were turned off. Sango's mom must have gone to bed already. Oh well, I'll thank her tomorrow, Kagome thought.
“Where are you going, Sango?”
Sango looked over her shoulder as she went through the swinging door to the kitchen. “Mom has some food for you to take to your mom, so I'm going to get that out of the ice box. Be back in five”. Kagome became a little bewildered as Sango seemed to look over her head and winked before disappearing.
Uncomfortable in the dark, Kagome reached for the light switch.
“Ohhh,” she breathed in, clasping her hand to her chest when she noticed the tall figure now in front of her. So that was why Sango “disappeared”. Kagome was amused by her friend’s playfulness.
“Inuyasha! You frightened me, jerk!” she cried bouncily and with a smile “Just because you’re hanyou, doesn't give you the right to sneak!”
“Yeah, well, Kagome, I needed to talk to ya anyways.”
Something’s wrong, Kagome immediately determined. He's not looking at me. He sounds mad. What the hell did I do?
“Inuyasha, if this is about earlier, I'll tell your mom again it wasn't a problem.”
“Well, I do have a problem, Kagome.”
Her stomach dropped from the attitude entrenched in his voice. He looked to be irritated and disinterested at the same time. Why was that? “Is it something I can help you with?”
He rolled his eyes.
In that moment she knew.
She knew what he was going to tell her.
She knew what he was going to say.
“Ya, you’re kinda the problem Kagome. Kissing you was a mistake. Shouldn't have happened. I don't want to get you all excited over nuthin.” He folded his arms and leaned against the wall. “So, please, before you start gossiping about me to my sister, just know I gotta girl already and what happened with you was about as nothin’ as nothin’ can get.”
The girl before him grew paler as he continued. His resolve nearly broke when her eyes began to water, but he fought his mind to dwell back to what his mother had told him.
I wish you knew Kagome that this is for you.
“I mean, if you wanna fool around or something, give me a call, but don’t think for a second you mean any more than the French girl I’m gonna take out tonight. We clear?”
After he had his say, Inuyasha had expected tears and crying and, perhaps, if her past behavior was an indicator, a shouting match. Maybe a broken lamp or picture frame. What he didn't expect was for her to make a curt little bow in his direction, walk to the door, and quietly exit, dismissing him as she would a stranger on the street.
He moved to follow her, to apologize until he could no longer speak and to explain to her the fears his mother had lodged in his mind, when he heard a car pull up. He walked to the window and watched as Kagome climbed into the passenger’s seat of her mother's car. The door shut and he winced at the sound.
It's for the best, he reminded himself as Sango clomped in, door swinging behind her, arms laden with parcels.
“You gonna help me Kags or are- wait, where's Kagome?” She set the containers down on an end table near the wall. She looked around before settling on her brother.
“Where'd she go?”
“Left.”
“She left?” Sango looked incredulous.
“Yep.”
“What's your problem?”
“I don't have a problem anymore.”
Sango panicked. “Inuyasha, what in the hell did you say to her?”
“What she needed to hear.”
Sango regarded her brother for a full minute. He was wan and nervously ran his tongue along his fangs. He had the habit of doing that when he was agitated or upset.
“What did you tell her?”
Inuyasha began to make his way to his bedroom. He felt her eyes on him as he walked. “Just don't bring that bitch here while I'm here, you got it? Don't even say her name. She's just some kid with a crush and I don't have time to deal with that shit.”
He jumped the stairs four at a time, and after entering his room, slammed the door behind him.
During the short ride home Kagome put in the effort at making the correct responses to her mother’s inquiries- at least she hoped- and smiled and giggled at an anecdote that her grandfather had called just that evening to share with them. Almost home, Kagome, just a few minutes more.
Kagome excused herself from her mother when they arrived home, citing exhaustion, and walked slowly to the bathroom in order to maintain the illusion that all was well. She entered the small chamber and took off her jacket, hanging it on a peg behind the door. She twisted her hair into a bun, and proceeded to strip down.
Free of clothing, but shivering from the cold, Kagome reached over and pulled the tap for the water, and stood back as she watched the faucet bleed its contents. While it was still running, the girl stepped carefully in, testing the water with a toe. She sank in and as the hot water rolled off of her entire body, Kagome wondered why she was still quaking.
Oh.
That’s right.
She cried into the gushing fountain, not caring if the roar of the water drowned out her sobs or not.
Her mother, even later, never got up the courage to tell her that they didn’t.
Higurashi House 1946
Kagome Higurashi listened to the petering pattern of rain as she folded laundry. The weather was becoming unforgivably cold, but as Naraku had been stationed in Sendai for the past month, she didn’t want to spend any more on wood or oil than was absolutely necessary. There was a small electric heater, but that was reserved for the times he visited, plus she was nervous she would fall asleep with it on and burn down the entire shrine.
As it was, she had begun to siphon from the money she sent her mother and grandfather, hoping the lesser amount would see them through the month as well.
Not wanting to immediately delve into the emergency ramen rations, she had begun to purchase extra food for her guest, as well as bandages and the necessary but expensive herbs and ingredients she used in the draughts she introduced into his system on a daily basis.
To be honest, she was exceedingly relieved that her suitor was kept away from Tokyo, but his absence illustrated her near total dependence upon him and she didn't want to arouse his suspicions by asking for more on top of what he gave her for the month.
He was, by nature, a very suspicious man.
She brought in a little cash every day laundering, but since the War had been going on far longer than any had speculated, her once thriving little business was down to nine or ten regular customers a month, and most of those were the wives and families of Naraku's men.
Still, her little business was all she had- all she really owned- other than her Shrine and the land it sat upon and despite its condition, it was still hers and she was fiercely proud of her bit of property and the ancestry it entailed.
It was her last binding tie to the father she hardly knew.
She fit the last batch of trousers into a linen sack and turned off the light of her workspace. She was eager to go back to her bedroom, the only room in the house she did keep regularly heated. And it wasn’t even heated for her benefit.
The iron stove was on the other side of her small room, but Kagome was certain the hanyou could feel the warmth. The walls were so thin, that if she could feel it from her bed, it was likely he would be able to from the closet room. It was no more than two steps from her bed to the wall that separated him from the rest of the world.
One night, she had reached out, and though she had to stretch, she placed a palm flat against the wall and wondered if he dreamt while in the state of sleep she forced upon him.
She rubbed her eyes to clear her mind of such nonsense but allowed a halfhearted smile at the situation she found herself to be in.
Kagome had been caring for the young man, now twenty-four, for the past week and a half. He was conscious very little of the time, but it was an intentional and healing slumber rather than a coma.
She slipped into his water and broth herbs that would keep him bedridden and nearly immobile for most of the day and had only stopped administering them the morning before. He needed to heal, and if Inuyasha had a semblance of the personality he had when she first knew him, he would not willingly recuperate cautiously or on her terms.
He was able to be awoken at her gentle nudging for meals, and in order that she should assist him to his bucket; the rest of the days and nights he slept, even when she checked and changed his bandages.
She suspected that Inuyasha, though in this semiconscious state, was extremely embarrassed at having to do something as personal as emptying his bowels before her. His eyes remained closed when she both brought the bucket to him and when she returned after emptying it and scouring it.
Kagome promised him that as soon as he became more mobile, she would allow him to sneak to the toilet in the bathroom across the hall from her bedroom. Inuyasha would nod weakly, already drifting off, but Kagome knew that they would have to work out some sort of system when he was capable.
As she checked the locks on the doors, anticipating nightfall, Kagome became bursting with the thoughts that often plagued her at dusk.
Her life really hadn't gone in the direction she had anticipated, and the turn of events often caused her to lapse into moments of melancholy and depression. She still wanted so much- a family, children, and freedom from this all-encompassing fear that had taken over her life. She had wanted to be a scholar, had excelled in history, and had envisioned herself teaching or working at a museum at the very least. She had no taste for the medical or legal world- it was the callings of a bygone era that had her entranced and excited.
But other responsibilities got in the way. Her mother became ill when Kagome was nineteen and her physician had recommended a permanent solution: For a climate that would suit her disposition, Sachiko Higurashi would join her father in law in California, with the request that Kagome transfer schools and follow the next semester. But though the elder Higurashi soon began to improve, it was not an immediate transformation, and she was unable to work or support herself. Kagome made the decision without a sound but with much regret. She would give up school to make the money to sustain her mother and grandfather in the United States.
Kagome had every intention of returning to her studies once her mother was employed, but for one reason or another, she never quite got to it. Now the University sat dark and closed until further notice from the Government.
She was barely in her twenties, yet she felt as though she had taken an unalterable path.
Her stomach rumbled, diverting her attention for a moment. Better not be late with his dinner, or I'll get the look, she thought, fondly. Though he wasn't really speaking much, he managed to convey so much with his eyes. Expressive eyes. Gorgeous eyes. Ahh, Kagome, you are such an idiot.
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As Inuyasha lay there, he felt more conscious than at any time since the attack. His stomach was turning over, ready for food, ears straining for the soft footfalls of his protector. He closed his eyes and stretched his uninjured leg out and waited for her to enter. Wench was taking entirely too long. After what he calculated to be about a quarter of an hour, he became sleepy again, his lucidity fighting a losing battle with his eyelids. Damn. He had been so sure he was gonna be able to stay awake and he was troubled at the thought of falling asleep again before he could really speak to Kagome. His left ear tweaked a bit as he heard the hinge, but he struggled still for awareness.
“Wake up.”
“nnnnn.”
“Wake up Inuyasha.”
“Noo.”
“Please.”
̶ 0;Nnnn”
“I have food.”
One eye opened and analyzed the girl before him.
“Hungry?” she asked, reaching for a small bowl beside her.
“You said you had food,” he said, sniffing the air, “and that isn't food.”
“I want to see how much your stomach can handle first,” Kagome told him, inexplicably excited that he was speaking in sentences. The only words he had managed to mutter before, other than when he begged her to stay, were yes, no, and fuck.
“If you want, I can mash up some raw yams and feed you a paste?” She smiled as he scrunched his nose.
“I think I'll take my chances with whatever’s in the bowl,” his voice cracked, dry from thirst. He eyed the dish and water glass she came with every day and began to bend at the waist in order to sit himself up. He groaned from the slight effort and Kagome placed a hand on his uninjured shoulder to stop him.
“Wait.” She set the bowl down. “You’re just now coming out of this, Inuyasha. Let me help you up.”
“Keh, I can do it. I feel a lot better. Except for my arm.” He paused. “And my chest. And my leg. And the back of my head...Wait.” He cocked his head at her. “Out of what? I knew it, bitch, you drugged me!”
She narrowed her eyes. “Of course I did, you ass. I needed you to heal, and from the look of you trying to get up already, I guess I made the right decision.” Kagome looked at him, biting her lip. How could she make him understand? “You were going to die.”
He was somewhat mollified, but decided his pride and position as a man were at stake. Inuyasha tried to sit forward again on his own but his arm stiffened as he placed his weight upon it. The movement sent a jolt of pain carousing through his chest and he bit his cheek in response to the shock.
“Shh, now let me help you, baka.”
“Fine, but I don't think a little girl like you can lift me.”
“How do you think you got in here, Inuyasha? Besides, I'm not exactly the daintiest of girls,” she said a little dryly.
Catching the wry tone of her voice, Inuyasha wondered if she was somehow embarrassed of her figure. He quickly wrought a critical eye over her body. She was tall, and though not exactly slender, one could in no way call her fat. The red plaid button up dress reached right below the knee, contrasting the woolen material from the surface of her calves while her hips flared out enticingly from her firm waist. She was a Master's construct brought to life, soft and lush and she'd have to be dense to not realize how incredibly sex-
“Ready?” Kagome interrupted his reverie and ambled on her knees until she was directly beside him. She looked him up and down, twisting her mouth a little in an expression that denoted extreme concentration. Wisps of hair escaped her messy pony tail, and Inuyasha was certain she could look no cuter than she did in that moment.
It's the only thing that will work, Kagome decided as she grasped an overhead beam and lifted one leg. She arranged it on the other side of Inuyasha's hip, near, but not touching, his injury. Shifting, she placed herself right atop of him, careful not to make contact with him anywhere other than the gentle graze of her thigh and knee against his waist. She allowed a small grin to appear on her features as she looked down at Inuyasha- himself brandishing a look of pure shock and confusion.
“All right, Inuyasha, just relax.”
“Kag-”
“Don't get excited, puppy, it's the only way I can get a good grip on you,” Kagome informed him, hands on hips, looking every bit as authoritative as she sounded. She tried to hold back any signs of the visible giddiness she felt.
The hanyou smiled, nervous of the intimacy. “I have something you can get a gri-Owww! Kagome! What the fuck?!” He used his good arm to rub his nose.
“Isn't that how you punish a bad doggy? By tweaking his nose?” Without warning, Kagome moved forward and slid her arms under his shoulders. With a little more maneuvering, she was able to lock the crooks of her arms under both his armpits. Her head fit in the curve of his shoulder, and as she braced herself to the task, she had to resist the urge to rub against his neck.
“Bitch, I'm half fuckin' human, and you do that when they piss on the floor, not when they’re about to get-”
“Inuyasha....” Kagome warned. He closed his mouth and breathed in the flesh of her neck, eyes wavering slightly. He was dazed for a moment, but snapped back when he heard her command:
“Alright, one, two, three!” She used all of her strength to pull him up, while he used his good arm to push as he scooted upwards. As he was making progress, the blanket slid down revealing his shorts and muscular legs, one tanned and sinuous, the other stout with bandages.
Kagome, now on her haunches, strained hard to pull one final time. Her lower body was pushing down just as he tilted his hips upward, causing her bottom to press against the core of his shorts. The intensity of the impact led her to nearly release her grip on his arms and for him to become fully erect.
He had already been hardening as she straddled his body, and the feel of her pressed against him was too much for him to control.
He hoped she hadn't noticed.
She hoped he didn't notice that she noticed.
Kagome assisted the now sweating hanyou to rest his back and head against a pillow propped up behind him.
His leg hurt a little worse, but the chest pain seemed to lessen. His head was reeling though, probably, he reasoned, because of the shit she had been serving him. He made a mental note to bring that subject up again at a later time.
Kagome checked him over swiftly to make sure none of his wounds had reopened, when her eyes alighted towards his upper thigh. She quickly averted her gaze and returned to her former position beside him, busying herself with stirring the contents of the bowl she brought.
As he adjusted to his new position, he realized what was exposed. He grabbed the blanket and pulled it onto his lap above the tented fabric of his shorts.
“Eat,” she demanded, a little discomposed, wanting to forget how it felt to be so close in that way and the indisputable reaction of his body. She spooned the broth and leaned forward.
Obligingly, Inuyasha accepted the air-cooled soup and swallowed, his embarrassment ebbing. It was the first time in weeks he had anything that had been cooked with meat. He debated whether there were enough bits of chicken for it to be considered a meat dish, but decided he didn't care. He wanted more, and couldn't wait until he could start on something heartier. He knew looked frail and sickly.
She fed him in silence, giving him the opportunity to reflect.
His home land was in a state of war against hanyou and a few other groups that the government deemed to be the cause of its recent economic collapse. Why hanyou were blamed, Inuyasha was not quite sure; why were any one race of people prosecuted? It was never for the reasons publicly stated. It was a purge that had been simmering since even before he was born, but when he was younger, people usually only voiced their prejudices behind closed doors, not to his face.
He left for the US after his dad died, and visited only occasionally, going back for holidays and to spend time with his mom. The visits decreased when Sango began attending the academy in Boston, so when he went back during his second year of college, he was floored at the blatant bigotry and ill treatment of his kind.
After the winter, he did not return until years later, when he got the letter from Sango, explaining in detail her circumstances.
Sango had gone back to Japan when she was fifteen or sixteen to stay with their emotionally scarred mother and to attend high school. When it was time to choose a college, she chose Kyoto University, it being the alma mater of her father, and the school of choice of her boyfriend Miroku.
Inuyasha and Miroku Ageda had been college classmates and Miroku’s father was acquainted with his stepmother. His little sister Sango had been infatuated with the dark and mysterious older boy her brother brought home, and Miroku exhibited a distinct fondness for her as well.
When the two finally expressed their mutual interest, Inuyasha could say that he was nothing short of relieved that such a good man would be willing to take on his obstinate sister. Miroku called her Taijiya, or slayer, for her tenacity and she called him Monk, for his reluctance to kiss or hold hands in public.
His sister’s relationship with Kagome had been long distance since then, the girls exchanging letters and the odd phone call on birthdays or holidays. For the first few months, he knew, the girls would take the train out to visit one another, but after Kagome’s mother left, she had no time for any activities other than work or school, and from what Sango said, school did not last long.
He ached knowing what she had given up in order to care for her family. As he swallowed another spoonful, Inuyasha wondered if he would ever meet someone who would do such a thing for him. Give up everything for his benefit. He wondered if Kagome would do it for him.
Idiot, he thought, catching her eye as she fed him. She already has.
Not two years into her schooling, however, Sango was informed by her school that it was rescinding its invitation to her due to her brother’s hanyou status. She moved back to Tokyo with her mother.
By that time, Mom had lost her job and Sango explained, via telephone, that they were no longer welcome in certain shops and businesses. She had to close her bank accounts and the neighborhood children had been breaking their windows so often that boards permanently replaced the glass.
Someone had filed a complaint that she was in possession of “salacious and pro-hanyou material” and the two women had been fined so much they had gone through his mother’s savings just to keep up with the house payments.
Inuyasha knew that he needed to get his mother out. The treatment she endured was due to the parentage of her son. His father was not there to protect her. The duty fell to him.
But there had been two problems. First, as hanyous were being forcibly detained in Purification Centers and in many cases systematically murdered, Inuyasha could not just fly over and waltz right into Tokyo. By the time he realized how awful things really were, it had gotten exceedingly dangerous.
He had a plane charted to drop him off in a distant village in the north, and had made his way south, hiding in the surrounding forests and countryside. Entire cities had been decimated due to their hanyou populations and those that remained had been clustered into ghettos.
Too often Inuyasha met with many places that were nearly deserted.
The foremost difficulty was that his mother refused to leave the country in which her beloved first husband was buried in.
He had spent the better part of a year in the Hanyou Opposition which smuggled half-bloods out of Japan with false identities. The job was a loose connection of individuals and paid nothing; there had been weeks that had gone by without anything more than stolen cans of food or wild plants or the occasional rabbit or pigeon. He couldn't just walk into a restaurant or grocery store or even risk making a big enough fire to cook larger game with. Many days, he suffered without anything at all.
His brother often wired money into a private account which he could access when he dared enter the bigger cities once every month, but Inuyasha used the money sparingly in order to acquire false papers for hanyous and their families and left the rest in places that Sango could retrieve unseen, so that she and her mom could eat and pay their bills.
His human appearance and a hat could have helped him pass through the cities undetected, except for the full demons the government had hired to sniff out half-bloods trying to do just that.
He seethed at the betrayal.
Despite his situation, his mother was unyielding. However distressed she was over her own condition or the danger she put her son in, there was nothing he could say to convince his mom. And the worst part was, Sango had refused to go back without her mother.
Fucking women not knowing what’s best for them, he thought tenderly. A moment of sadness washed over him. His mother died because of her unending love of his father. Because of what he was. The moment passed, not because he didn't miss or mourn his mother, but because he knew, as Sango knew, that his mother had been awaiting the hour when she could join her mate in whatever afterlife awaited.
No, he shouldn't dwell on his mother's death now.
He couldn't save his mom. But now he knew Sango was safe, perhaps even home. And if he could just sit this out, at least until his brother could work some more magic, he would make it home to see his family again. He took in the last of broth and drank from the glass of water she held to his mouth.
As Kagome fed him she noticed his concentration and tried not to distract him. She took to examining his bandaged arm and torso instead. The blanket that had covered him was pooled around his waist, his navy under shorts, the only salvageable item of clothing, peeping from beneath the woolen folds.
She admitted, with great reluctance, that the person before her was still capable of eliciting such turmoil and ache as none other in her life had ever been able to do.
When the broth and water had been consumed, Kagome slid a finger along his knuckles to get his attention.
“Time to change your bandages. I'll be right back.” She made her way to the hidden door, turning her neck as she got on all fours. “Don't move.” She warned ironically and let the wall shut into place.
Inuyasha watched her backside disappear. She looked different. She smelled different. She even acted different. She was more subdued, so hesitant to speak. Everything about her seemed so...off. What had happened to her since the last time he had seen her? Sango had rarely mentioned Kagome, knowing a bit of how things had ended between them, not wanting to get involved in any manner.
Ended. Ha. As if anything had even begun.
He thought back on the last night he had seen her. Baka. It was all his fault: he knew it, she knew it, and there was no way to go back and change it. But now that he was here, under her protection, he would see to it that he attempted to fix it. The silver-haired man sighed, memories of Kagome's brief intrusion into his life running vividly amok.
Collecting the bandages and herbs from her kitchen, Kagome grabbed a tube of cream without realizing the cap had not been properly sealed. A small puff of white spurted out and painted the tip of her nose, before falling in a lump to the floor. Kagome searched for a towel to wipe off the cream that had been chilled by the kitchen’s frosty temperature and spied one on the kitchen table. She had just reached the slab when the memory took her, rendering her motionless for a just a moment. The medicinal cream had reminded her of the last night she had seen Inuyasha as a girl.
Oh, how young and stupid I was, Kagome thought and gave her head a thorough shake, as though she were trying to dispel the memoires and rid herself of the idiot she once was. As that particular night’s events coursed through her mind, she realized that both the person and events would be stuck there forever.
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Comb ined Memoires
((5 years earlier- Sango's room-1941))
“I have no idea what you are talking about.”
“Inuyasha, I have sat here for the last twenty minutes talking to you, and all you can do is lay face down on my bed, squeezing that stupid ball!”
“Well, I don't see how that means I’m attracted in her,” he countered, breathing in the fading scent of Kagome from his sister's pillow. She's right, he thought miserably, I can't hide it.
He forced himself to look up at his little sister, a smirk which was eerily similar to his own, gracing her lips.
“Sango...”
“Just don't hurt her you idiot.”
He turned his face back into the pillow.
((5 years Earlier- Kagome's house-1941))
“You just seem, I'm not sure, honey, but- you seem happier, somehow. Has something happened?” Sachiko Higurashi looked meaningfully at her young daughter, who was at the moment, blushing from hairline to collar.
“I don't know what you mean?” She filled her mouth with rice in a futile attempt to end this particular line of questioning.
“Kagome, you have spent the last two days smiling nonstop. And I mean nonstop. Look! You are smiling right now!”
Kagome choked a bit on a couple grains. “Can't a girl just love....life?” Lame, Kagome, real lame. I'm sure that’ll throw her off the trail.
“Maybe if I substitute life with Hanyou, then I think we will have gotten somewhere.”
“Mom!” Kagome stared at her parent, wide eyed, dismayed at her mother’s smug mien. How had she guessed? Had Sango told her? Kagome ruled that out, but questioned how in the world her mother could see right through her. I'm such a baka. She licked a piece of cabbage from her lip, and in doing so, flushed at the memory of his lips on hers. Stop! Stop! Stop! It was just a kiss, she mooned happily.
That’s what I thought, her mother internally commented.
“Just be careful, Kagome. He's a little older, and I don't want to see you hurt.”
Coming clean, Kagome grumbled, “Yes mam”.
((Inuyasha's House-1941))
The four of them were sitting around the long table in the dining room, the remains of a cake littering the cloth and platter positioned at the center.
“Inuyasha, you apologize to Kagome, right this minute!” Taya Miyamoto spouted, even though she was attempting to hide the hiccups of laughter. She couldn't help it, Kagome looked so silly with whipped cream sliding slowly down her cheek. It had been an accident really. Her son had been making a point about the United States' President when he flung his fork to the side, and sprayed the poor girl with a dollop of white cream. She looked so surprised that no one could hold in their laughter, including the affected girl herself.
Inuyasha could not help but notice how startlingly appealing Kagome was to him, her eyes bright with laughter, chest panting for air.
Sango laughed as well, but noticed her brother's attentions to her best friend. Please don't let him mess this up, she prayed. Please!
“I'm s-or-rr-y Ka-go-meee,” he was unable to hold back.
Kagome imitated an air of offense. Throwing him a cloth napkin, she instructed, “You put it there, now take it off.” His laughter died down and the landscape of his face changed, narrowing as he stared directly into her eyes. Nervous under his gaze, she turned her cheek outwards, awaiting his ministrations, while holding him in her peripheral vision. “I'm waiting, sir.”
“All right, if that's what you want,” he warned, and before she could stop him, he leaned forward, took her head into his hands and in one languorous lick, procured the cream off of her cheek with his tongue.
She settled down the instant he made contact, her breath stilling, unable to think. Heat pulsed through her body, and she nearly moaned as she recalled the kiss they had shared just days earlier. Before she could form a sound, she remembered where she was and who she was with. Inuyasha swallowed without once averting his inspection of her face. Like it, Kagome? He thought to himself.
“Inuyasha! That is the most disgusting thing I have ever seen!” His mother admonished, her tone incredulous and cross. “Apologize and go get a wet cloth. Kagome,” she began as her son jumped from his seat, “Excuse my son, he is a beast with no manners. It's the American in him, and-”
“Please, mam, don't be mad,” Kagome interrupted. “I'm not upset at all, it was just a joke, and I know he meant no harm.” Kagome's voice was soft and lilting, something that did not go unnoticed by the elder woman.
Something is going on, she thought to herself. I should have known when that dog ran to the door to greet her. Pulling out her chair? I must be getting old to not notice when my little boy is interested...she stopped her thoughts there. Kagome. Her daughter's human best friend and her hanyou son.
“Sango, take Kagome up to your room so she can wash up. Who knows where my son's tongue has been.”
Both Sango and Kagome regarded the older woman, Sango wondering if her mom meant it in a vulgar way and Kagome willing herself not to cry at the thought. Taya watched the two teenagers troop up the stairs, more quiet and more subdued than usual.
She heard a knocking sound from the kitchen
“Inuyasha. In here-now!”
The handsome young man walked in slowly, ears flattened, running a hand through his hair.
“Listen, I'll go apologize, but I'm-”
“Sit down, Inuyasha, I'm sure she's not mad either” she barked, “but that's exactly the problem”.
“Mom, I've lost you.”
“Inuyasha, don't play with me because I'm not going to play games with you. That girl is only fifteen. FIFTEEN. Do you understand me? No, don't interrupt,” she told him when she saw his nostrils flair in anger and embarrassment. “Not only that, but she is Sango's closest friend, and from what I understand, has never even had a boyfriend. And here you come, handsome and charming COLLEGE kid that you are, and pay her a little attention. Sango's told me about all your girls back at home, all the parties and dates between classes. What are you getting at, son?”
“Mom, it's not like that, I swear, it's not like the girls back in the States, I wouldn't push her like that.” Dimmit, he admitted he liked her. “It's...it's different.” He finished, both at a loss of words, and with the desire to not let any more information about his feelings for Kagome slip.
“That may be...Inuyasha, I'm sorry, Kagome is such a sweet girl, with a lot going for her. There's something else, but I don't know how to bring it up without sounding like a hypocrite.”
“Hn?” He questioned rudely. He was quite possibly the most upset he had ever been with his mom for implying that he would just use Kagome and throw her away. And he was a little miffed that his mom would suggest that Kagome would be so shallowly interested in him. She's right though, I am cute, he thought and his right ear twitched as he tried not to smile.
“You know how much I loved your father, son. With everything I could possibly feel. He was my life. When he passed-well, you know, I have never been the same. Even with Sango’s father...but I got you out of it, and I am not saying that you were a mistake, so please do not look so hurt! What I am trying to say, badly, is if you take a human partner, you have to realize that the bond will have to be that much stronger. There is so much bigotry and prejudice, and to pull that girl into a life she doesn't know and may not be able to handle is just wrong. I'm not saying you’re planning on marrying her, Inuyasha, but look around you. You know that this may be your last trip back. Things have gotten too bad for hanyou here. It's not the same, from when I was younger. Things are different. You've heard the rumors? Purification camps and plans for hanyou ghettos? You may laugh, but this is the future, and if you were to become involved with Kagome, think about what will happen to her, to the both of you because of who you are.”
“Finished mother?”
She knew he was angry. The formal way in which he addressed her was clear. She had pushed him enough.
“Goodnight, son.”
Inuyasha kept his head down as his mother walked up the stairs towards her bedroom. He grasped the back of the chair that Kagome had been sitting in, tracing his fingers along the scalloped ridges. As much as he would rather die than admit it, his mom had made sense. She was right. In a way, the bond between human and demon mates would have to withstand so much more than a traditional pairing.
It wasn't fucking fair, but of course, what was?
((Sango’s Room))
“Oh, my God! Kagome!” Sango had squealed as soon as they had closed the door to her bedroom. “I am not saying that was the sexiest thing I have ever seen. Because that was my brother. But yeah, it pretty much was!”
“Shhhh, Sango, he'll hear you”, Kagome intoned, glancing at the door, nervous that he was listening with adorable little hanyou ears.
“Spill it Kagome,” Sango demanded. “Do you like my brother or not?”
The girl with the long, unbound hair trembled at bit at her friend’s scrutiny. If she told Sango, that would make it real. Kagome wilted under pressure. What if he doesn't like me? What if this is all one big joke or some pastime or...she thought of the girl Sango had told her about, and whom Inuyasha admitted to kissing. About the comment his mother had made. She closed her eyes.
Fuck it, she thought wildly. Opening one eye and examining her friend, she confessed. “I do...is that bad?”
“We'll be sisters!” Sango threw her arms around her best friend, sincerely happy that the two people she cared most about had found something special in one another.
“Ok, wait, wait, wait! NO one has said anything about marriage or a relationship even. Sango, please don't tell him I am saying this. If anything happens...I want it to be, well, natural. I don't want anyone to interfere.”
“Gotcha.” Sango curbed her excitement when she saw the clock. “Your mom's gonna be here any minute. Let's wait for her downstairs. It's freezing up here”.
Kagome fasted her coat buttons, recalling that she had done this very activity when he had kissed her the other day in the kitchen. My first kiss, she thought dreamily. Oh, Inuyasha.
Downstairs, Inuyasha heard Kagome ask his sister to attend a show with her the next evening as Sango's door opened and hasty footsteps hit the stairs. He could smell her coming down, as distinct from his sister's flowery scent as could be.
From the moment he had met her, Inuyasha had felt a stirring in him he could neither name nor even attempt to describe. A feeling of peace and tranquility, a delight and an unidentified warmth, that given time, could have been love. He wondered if he would ever feel that again.
Stop. He had to do it now, or he would never be able to let her go
Kagome followed her friend down the stairs and noted that the lights to the dining room were turned off. Sango's mom must have gone to bed already. Oh well, I'll thank her tomorrow, Kagome thought.
“Where are you going, Sango?”
Sango looked over her shoulder as she went through the swinging door to the kitchen. “Mom has some food for you to take to your mom, so I'm going to get that out of the ice box. Be back in five”. Kagome became a little bewildered as Sango seemed to look over her head and winked before disappearing.
Uncomfortable in the dark, Kagome reached for the light switch.
“Ohhh,” she breathed in, clasping her hand to her chest when she noticed the tall figure now in front of her. So that was why Sango “disappeared”. Kagome was amused by her friend’s playfulness.
“Inuyasha! You frightened me, jerk!” she cried bouncily and with a smile “Just because you’re hanyou, doesn't give you the right to sneak!”
“Yeah, well, Kagome, I needed to talk to ya anyways.”
Something’s wrong, Kagome immediately determined. He's not looking at me. He sounds mad. What the hell did I do?
“Inuyasha, if this is about earlier, I'll tell your mom again it wasn't a problem.”
“Well, I do have a problem, Kagome.”
Her stomach dropped from the attitude entrenched in his voice. He looked to be irritated and disinterested at the same time. Why was that? “Is it something I can help you with?”
He rolled his eyes.
In that moment she knew.
She knew what he was going to tell her.
She knew what he was going to say.
“Ya, you’re kinda the problem Kagome. Kissing you was a mistake. Shouldn't have happened. I don't want to get you all excited over nuthin.” He folded his arms and leaned against the wall. “So, please, before you start gossiping about me to my sister, just know I gotta girl already and what happened with you was about as nothin’ as nothin’ can get.”
The girl before him grew paler as he continued. His resolve nearly broke when her eyes began to water, but he fought his mind to dwell back to what his mother had told him.
I wish you knew Kagome that this is for you.
“I mean, if you wanna fool around or something, give me a call, but don’t think for a second you mean any more than the French girl I’m gonna take out tonight. We clear?”
After he had his say, Inuyasha had expected tears and crying and, perhaps, if her past behavior was an indicator, a shouting match. Maybe a broken lamp or picture frame. What he didn't expect was for her to make a curt little bow in his direction, walk to the door, and quietly exit, dismissing him as she would a stranger on the street.
He moved to follow her, to apologize until he could no longer speak and to explain to her the fears his mother had lodged in his mind, when he heard a car pull up. He walked to the window and watched as Kagome climbed into the passenger’s seat of her mother's car. The door shut and he winced at the sound.
It's for the best, he reminded himself as Sango clomped in, door swinging behind her, arms laden with parcels.
“You gonna help me Kags or are- wait, where's Kagome?” She set the containers down on an end table near the wall. She looked around before settling on her brother.
“Where'd she go?”
“Left.”
“She left?” Sango looked incredulous.
“Yep.”
“What's your problem?”
“I don't have a problem anymore.”
Sango panicked. “Inuyasha, what in the hell did you say to her?”
“What she needed to hear.”
Sango regarded her brother for a full minute. He was wan and nervously ran his tongue along his fangs. He had the habit of doing that when he was agitated or upset.
“What did you tell her?”
Inuyasha began to make his way to his bedroom. He felt her eyes on him as he walked. “Just don't bring that bitch here while I'm here, you got it? Don't even say her name. She's just some kid with a crush and I don't have time to deal with that shit.”
He jumped the stairs four at a time, and after entering his room, slammed the door behind him.
During the short ride home Kagome put in the effort at making the correct responses to her mother’s inquiries- at least she hoped- and smiled and giggled at an anecdote that her grandfather had called just that evening to share with them. Almost home, Kagome, just a few minutes more.
Kagome excused herself from her mother when they arrived home, citing exhaustion, and walked slowly to the bathroom in order to maintain the illusion that all was well. She entered the small chamber and took off her jacket, hanging it on a peg behind the door. She twisted her hair into a bun, and proceeded to strip down.
Free of clothing, but shivering from the cold, Kagome reached over and pulled the tap for the water, and stood back as she watched the faucet bleed its contents. While it was still running, the girl stepped carefully in, testing the water with a toe. She sank in and as the hot water rolled off of her entire body, Kagome wondered why she was still quaking.
Oh.
That’s right.
She cried into the gushing fountain, not caring if the roar of the water drowned out her sobs or not.
Her mother, even later, never got up the courage to tell her that they didn’t.