InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ His Little Girl ❯ Doubts and insecurities ( Chapter 22 )

 

Before I'd start I'd like to say thank you to all of my readers and reviewers and to MysticHanyou - just you wait my dear, the plot will thicken.

 

 

 

Doubts and Insecurities

 

 

Shippou sat high in the Sakura tree that held the nest of birds he had taken upon himself to watch over and protect. His face was sad as he sat next to them and his eyes glazed as he was lost deep in his own thoughts. The sun was setting slowly, making the sky a myriad of seep blues and burgundies, though the somberness of his thoughts didn't allow the sweet beauty in.

 

“Hey little birdie,” his voice was soft and sad as he petted the mother of the chicks, the female bird had gotten quite used to the little kitsune's presence and often would trust him to protect the nest as she went off in search of food for her young.

 

He should have been inside by now; he knew that, nobody liked the children to be out alone after dark, even if the castle grounds were highly protected. No one would notice though, for the past week, he had been all but forgotten as everyone had gotten used to all the new things. Sango and Miroku were inuyoukai permanently now, Shinta had done tests and the spell wasn't able to be removed. Rin was sleeping with Sesshoumaru and Kagome now to help her get used to the new changes of being an inuhanyou and her kits were growing fast and sleeping in a basket in the corner of the mated couple's room.

 

He knew how sensitive newly mated or even simply mated couples could be and no longer leapt at Kagome. Whenever she saw him in the hall, if she even noticed he was there, he thought with bitter sadness, all he would get was an absent pat on the head. Shippou sniffled back tears, Inuyasha didn't even pick on him anymore, but even so he knew tears were a sign of weakness.

 

Okaasan's mated to Sesshoumaru, Rin's a inuhanyou, Inuyasha's mated to Maika, and Sango and Miroku are mated to each other and both inuyoukai now. Okaasan may have adopted me and I may have some of her in me but…it doesn't matter anymore. Everyone's an inu now or part or mated to one.

 

How long did you really think they'd keep you around baka? You're a kitsune, a fox, a trickster youkai. It was ok before when they didn't pay as much attention because Rin needed me, but now she doesn't need me anymore. We haven't even played together since the day after the adoption and mating ceremonies. Nobody needs me anymore, and even though I knew - I knew when I joined them it wouldn't be forever I hoped it would be. Okaasan adopted me, but I don't have a place here anymore. There no place for me here now. If it isn't enough proof that they haven't really paid attention to me in so long, it's even more proof, I've been up here all day, since before breakfast, through lunch, he looked up at the dark sky and now after dinner. No one's come looking for me.

 

Shippou heard a small mewl beside him and looked over on a nearby branch to see Kirara. He opened his arms and the small two-tail jumped into them. He absently stroked her fur as he talked to his friend.

 

“Is Sango or Miroku with you Kirara?” the kit sighed as the cat shook her head no. “Is anyone with you?” again a shake of no. “Well at least you still remember me. Sango and the others still remember you. They don't remember me anymore,” this time he couldn't stop the slow sad tears from falling. “I have to go Kirara, I don't belong here anymore…But don't worry I'll be ok,” Kirara tried to tug on his kimono as he moved away and set her down on a branch. “I have to go Kirara; I want to go before they tell me to. I don't want to hear them say it, it would hurt too much to hear them say it…” a thought occurred to him and he spoke it out loud. “Maybe grandma would want me…I'll go to grandma.”

 

With that Shippou made his way from tree to tree across the garden and then down the last one on the edge of the garden, near the path to the forest. As he raced across the open field he stopped on the edge of the castle grounds and looked back over his shoulder, his eyes staring longingly at the window he knew to lead to his mother's room. Sighing sadly he shook his head and made his way into the forest of the Western Lands and left on the long four day trek back to the Bone Eater's Well that would take him to his mother's world.

 

He was tired and hungry but he didn't stop to rest, he knew how dangerous it could be out here and just kept running along the ground, occasionally hopping through the trees like Inuyasha would, and ran through the night.

 

By the time dawn's first light had broken, he was covered in sweat from his exertion and so tired and hungry he was nearly sick with it, but still he refused to stop. He wouldn't stop until he reached the well. He knew what he was doing and where he was going and had decided during the night that there was no sense in stopping in the village, Kaede had probably forgotten about him too by now.

 

His tears came again and he began to cough. Stumbling in his fast run, he fell and rolled a good twenty feet before being stopped by a hard and unforgiving tree. As he coughed again, he moved onto his hands and knees, it felt like he would be sick. He coughed ad dry heaved for a few minutes, before he wiped away his tears and began traveling again, running on all fours as he had been doing since he left the castle grounds that night.

 

By midday he had to stop again, thankfully he was near a small puddle made in a indentation in the grasses and from rainwater. He cupped his hands in the groundwater and drank as much as he dared before continuing. All through the day and into the night he kept up the grueling pace, his whole body screamed and burned from the constant and hard use of his muscles and body as he ran across the forest, and oh how his stomach ached. He was so hungry, so very hungry but he didn't dare stop.

 

Oh he wasn't worried about anyone coming to find him and take him back, he seriously doubted they would notice he was gone, let alone search for him if they did, but he knew the dangers of the youkai and beasts out here and didn't dare stop for too long or slow his pace at all. It was dangerous he knew, but he was a youkai. He knew he could hunt, and since he was youkai, the meat didn't need to be cooked - even though it did taste better that way - but after what happened when he had been hunting that rabbit months past, he was too afraid to hunt anymore, at least alone.

 

Going as fast as he was it would only be another day before he reached the well, and he did that in record time.

 

Shippou was barely able to stand, let alone walk as he came in sight distance of the old well. His breathing was harsh and shallow as he moved closer, his limbs unable to support him on anything but a infant's crawl. He had seen the well at dawn and it was noon before he was able to touch it. He was so very tired and so very hungry, and so very weak. With trembling hands he pulled himself up to his feet and stood for a moment leaning against the well. His stomach rebelled at him standing and he fell back to his hands and knees as he threw up the water he had drunk the night before and bit of grass he had eaten to pacify his hungry stomach so it wouldn't hurt so much. Boy had that been a mistake, the grass only seemed to make his stomach hurt more, and so he'd only eaten a bare small handful of the green blades.

 

He dry heaved for a good five minutes after he threw up all his stomach had to offer which wasn't much of anything. Moving away from where he had been sick, he stood on shaking legs and focused hard on the well, or rather the lip of it. Just one good jump, that was all he needed, just one good jump. Gathering his waning strength and largely lacking energy, he stood on all fours and focused through blurred eyes. Taking in a deep breath, Shippou held it as he ran and jumped for all he was worth.

 

His leap was nothing of its usual vigor, and he hit his side hard as he bounced over the lip and rolled into the well. He had just made it into the time slip when he lost consciousness. Landing on the other side of the well, in his mother's time, unconscious and weak beyond the telling of it.