InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ His Little Girl ❯ The Pain of Silence ( Chapter 35 )

 

 

Kagome walked down the hall to her and Sesshoumaru's bed chamber and gathered her bathing robe and soaps and shampoos before entering the room containing her and Sesshoumaru's private bath. She entered the hot spring itself, paying no mind the stool and bucket that one normally used before entering the spring. She scrubbed at her skin with the body soaps and her hair with the Shampoo until she felt somewhat clean. Rubbing soap on a flat stone she scrubbed it over her body in an effort to remove the feel of Hojou from her skin and the memory of his attacks. Tears fell as she submerged herself in the water and rinsed the soap from her hair and body.

 

She stepped out of the water shaking as she hurriedly dried herself off with a towel and wrapped herself up as much as she could in the bathing robe. A part of her was sad that she hadn't gone out to get the gown she wanted when they had been in her world, but Tiyeko had told her not to worry about it because Sesshoumaru had postponed the ball until further notice. She looked upon the clothes from her time and was highly tempted to burn them. They weren't the same ones she had been wearing when she had been attacked but, they still felt as though they were the ones that had led to it.

 

It was her fault, she knew that. If she hadn't led Hojou on and let him think that she would ever like him in such a way he never would have attacked her like that. She knew Shinta had said after the first one that it wasn't her fault, but it happening a second time only proved that it was her fault. How could anyone have been so stupid as to think that it wasn't her fault, couldn't they see how dirty she was?

 

She walked back into her room and made certain the door was closed, even going so far as to lock it by putting the stick at the bottom in to the whole in the floor, making certain it wouldn't open. She moved to the wardrobe containing her kimonos and bypassed all the fancy ones made of silk and instead looked at the ones made of cotton. The fabric was soft yes but no where near as glamorous as the silk and that's what she wanted. She didn't want to stand out, and if anyone knew what had happened, her part in it all, they wouldn't think her a lady at all.

 

Kagome sniffed back tears and wiped her eyes, mentally berating herself for being so weak and stupid. It was her fault this all happened to her, she'd just have to deal with it now. She took out a cotton kimono that was died a deep earthen green with a black obi. There were no designs on either the kimono or the obi, they were simply solid colored fabrics. She wrapped the long kimono about herself and tied the obi behind her. The kimono covered her feet and when she put her arms down it hid her hands. Brushing her hair back and making sure it was dry before she unlocked the door, she knew she would never - could never tell Sesshoumaru.

 

It was her fault and she knew he would see her as unfaithful to him, hell she knew it meant that she was unfaithful. How the hell could she have betrayed him like that? All he had ever done was love her and she had gone and done this. She loved him so much and she knew that in this time, and especially by youkai code, the mate had the right to kill the other if they were unfaithful to them. Oh she knew he wouldn't kill her, but she was afraid he would leave her. And if he did leave her, she wouldn't blame him one bit. How could she? It was her fault.

 

Kagome opened the door and plastered a fake smile on her face as she walked back down to the room that Maika was in. If she could convince everyone else she was fine, maybe she could convince herself.