InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ His Past, Her Present, Their Future ❯ Reflections ( Chapter 5 )

[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]

Disclaimer: Still no own. At the end of this chapter I am going to explain a bit why I write the characters the way I do, you can skip if you wish. ^_^ Listening to Black Sabbath while I lament my lack of internet. This chapter is one last bit of build, then the story can begin. This is simply to tie loose ends and explain the past, so the way Sesshou and Kags act towards one another can be explained. It will be LONG, but if you’re bored, read it and UNDERSTAND ME! ^_____^


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His Past, Her Present, Their Future
Chapter 5 - Reflections

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The wedding had been a beautiful thing, and Kagome spent most of it in tears. When the groom and bride finally kissed, she was sobbing in happiness. Her friends, the pair she had been able to see forming for years now, were finally able to be together. She had known this day would come once Miroku had desisted groping anyone but Sango, and she had seen Sango’s grins after dealing him a booming scream of “HENTAI!” and a smack. Kagome was beyond happy for them.

Sesshoumaru would be arriving for her and Shippou the next day, the same day the taijiya and houshi would be setting out back to the exterminator’s village to start in their efforts to rebuild. She had promised to visit. A part of her was still aching over the idea that her friend’s would not be departing with her this time. For years they traveled side by side, fought their battles, traded their secrets. Now, she would be going with Sesshoumaru; while he wasn’t her enemy, it just wasn’t the same as going with her friends. She would miss them.

She supposed though, on some level, it was for the best. She couldn’t imagine traveling with Sango and Miroku, only to be reminded every day of her original companion. Sure, she still thought of him every day in some capacity, but it would be worse seeing her ‘regular’ group in its entirety, missing the familiar fire rat’s robes.

Traveling with Sesshoumaru was going to be…different. For one, she knew that fights would be practically over before they began. There would be few demons, jewel shards or not, that could stand up to the Taiyoukai’s poison whip, Dokkasou, or blade. For another, she knew the cheery conversation she had become accustomed to on the shard hunts would be at a minimum; though Sesshoumaru and she often had long involved conversations, it didn’t happen around others. The only time they’d have for that would be at night, once the children had gone to bed.

Part of her mind couldn’t wrap around the idea of collecting the Shikon no Kakera with Sesshoumaru. He had been their enemy for so long, and only in the last year that that had changed. First, InuYasha had been injured in a fight against Moryoumaru. Even with his uncanny healing abilities, he was down hard, and had been very lucky to even survive. Knowing the dilemma, Naraku had gone after Kagome with a fury, attempting to retrieve the pieces of the jewel that she held. The battle was fierce, with several puppets and Kagura to boot. With only Sango, Miroku, and her, it was a losing battle from the beginning. Even though Kagura was obviously not fighting to her potential, the Inu-tachi was still being worn down quickly.

Sesshoumaru had arrived in a streak of white and silver, taking down the puppets and a large section of forest with one blast. Once Kagura had retreated, he had stared at Kagome for a long time, the gashes across her thighs and side bleeding, before lifting her and telling her friends that he would take her to the House of the Moon ‘until the hanyou was capable of protecting her once more‘. He didn’t want the jewel completed by Naraku. Weakened by blood loss, she hadn’t had it in her to put up much of a fight, and was promptly toted off to his palace.

It had been an interesting two months, to say the least. The first week she was stuck in bed, followed by another two weeks of arguing with Sesshoumaru at every turn. Her neck seemed to be permanently bruised from having his fingers and claws dug into her neck, but somehow she had survived those weeks. The second month was calmer. InuYasha was recovered, but she was not yet, so Sesshoumaru wouldn’t release her. The barrier that surrounded the grounds was too strong for even Red Tessaiga, so her friends were forced to wait. During this time she began to spend a lot of times in the gardens, and became to be rather at ease. She and Sesshoumaru barely spoke, but when they did they rarely argued anymore. They spent many evenings in one another’s company, just watching the stars.

Kagome wasn’t sure how it started, who started it, or why that night was different, but suddenly it was. Just a random night like any other, six weeks after her ‘capture’, the two were sitting under the full moon and started talking. Kagome disclosed her origins, and discovered how curious the demon lord was. About everything. Anything he didn’t understand, he wanted to. He told her it was because living as long as he had, it was rare to find things he didn’t know about. It was then that she discovered, as well, how the lifespan of a demon was not so much a blessing as she might have thought.

She told him about InuYasha, about how she felt she was at her wits end. Of course, he had little to say about this, other than to tell her that she had to trust her own heart. It was that that led to her to the conversation with InuYasha, telling him that while she would always love him as her best friend, that she would release the ‘love’ she had been clinging to for him. He had kissed her then, a real kiss, slow and languid, and thanked her. He told her that had things been different he would have counted himself lucky to spend his life with her, but his honor wouldn’t allow him to get out of him vow to Kikyou. Kagome had cried and fallen asleep in his arms. But the strength she had gotten from Sesshoumaru had allowed her to be strong and hold her head up, and treasure every day with her puppy-eared hanyou.

It was in the subsequent conversations with the great Taiyoukai that she learned he did indeed have a heart. He was passionate about many subjects, and felt a broad spectrum of emotions. From rage and jealousy, to love and guilt. The latter, he said, not so much in the past five hundred years, but still there nonetheless. Rin had once again reminded him that he felt such things. He didn’t like to talk about his past, though. He didn’t like to talk much about himself at all. The only time she was able to get anything out of him was a night when he seemed deeper in thought than usual, and had insisted she wouldn’t tell him anything else about her until she knew something about him.

So for one rather quiet night, he told her tiny tidbits of information out of the crisp silence. He never met her eyes, she never turned, he never elaborated. Just every so often he would say some little secret, seeming as if he were speaking to the stars themselves rather than the little miko beside him. Things she was sure he hadn’t spoken of in a long time.

Like that he had feelings. That he had once been in love. That his mother had been killed when he was three hundred, still a teenager by demon standards. That his hatred for InuYasha was not for any reason she could comprehend. He told her how he was rather adept at painting, but he only did when he needed to relax. He also told her that he had not had an actual conversation like the ones they had been having in several hundred years, since his mother was killed. She felt a swelling of happiness within her at this, to know that somehow she had gotten the Taiyoukai to open up when no one else could. Well, ‘open up’ might not be the correct term, but she could at least get him past his monosyllabic responses.

At last she told him she had to leave, and he had allowed it. But now they parted as friends, and she was hard pressed not to hug him when she went. Oh, the face InuYasha had made when she waved goodbye to his brother with a broad grin. That face had kept her from catapulting into the Lord of the Western Lands and telling him she would miss him. Every few weeks he would come to the Inu-tachi, to InuYasha’s chagrin, and he, Rin, Shippou, and Kagome would leave for a few hours. No one understood her friendship with the silver-haired demon, but none dared to stop her when she went with him. She always came back unharmed. This, of course, did not stop InuYasha from arguing every single time, but after a few well-placed ‘sit’s, he got over it.

The battle with Naraku had been a long time coming, and the day it arrived Sesshoumaru was there, with InuYasha arguing that HE was the one to protect Kagome, so his brother was not to interfere. She had sat him for that, saying that he was being an idiot. When Naraku had arrived, the two had stopped bantering and joined together against the evil hanyou, as much good as that had done. Kagome shuddered to think of that last battle, and quickly took her thoughts away from it.

So now, here she was, months after Naraku’s defeat, and trying to sleep on the eve in which her new adventure would start. She missed her family; she had missed Souta’s birthday already, and wondered how he was doing. Her mother was heartbroken that she wouldn’t be coming home for a while, and was probably worried sick. Kagome wondered how her grandfather was holding up. His health had been deteriorating in the last year, and she really hoped to get to spend some time with him before he passed on. She hated the entire situation, but knew she had no other course of action.

She rolled to her side, watching her friends sleep. It would be a long time until they were all together like this again, if they ever were. She wondered if she should tell them that she would be leaving, but quickly decided against it. ‘No, I don’t want them thinking they need to put their lives on hold just to be around me. I want them to be happy, to live. That’s why I made this wish. Oh guys, will you will miss me like I will miss you? My sister, my brother - the most wonderful family I could have ever dreamed of. I would give the world to see you all happy. I will miss you. Kami will I miss you both.’

Kagome moaned and rolled over again, biting back tears as she continued her internal monologue, ‘I wish so much for you both. Sango, may you find peace within yourself now that you have avenged your family. Miroku, may you enjoy life free from the worry of your wind tunnel consuming you. May you both have many children, and a life free from your haunting pasts. I hope your every dream comes true. Know that every day I will think of you both, and that even in the future your souls will be alive in my heart. My memories of our laughter and friendship will keep me going. Sesshoumaru was right, I can’t try to ignore all I learned here. I have to remember, because it’s you guys that made me who I am. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.’

She let out a shuddering sigh, her tears falling silently in the darkness as she began to finally drift away to sleep. She could only hope that Midoriko was right, because at this point, fate seemed very cruel indeed.


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Extended A/N:

Ah hah, another chapter done. Now, like I said, skip this bit if you’d like. I would just like to respond to a few emailed questions, and reviewers, and also try and explain a few things, so that I don’t have to later. You don’t have to read, but it would give you insight. I am taking the east way out, dammit. For one, THANK YOU for the responses, I feel all squishy inside. *glee!*

In answer to reviewer Karen…oh honey, you had me laughing my ass off. Hehehe. I chose to get rid of InuYasha the way I did because I don’t think that Kaggy and Sess would ever get together if he were alive. I just don’t see them even getting the time to fall in love, let alone Kags overstepping her loyalty to InuYasha in order to pursue a relationship with his hated brother. I just don’t think its possible. Thank you for your comment, I feel the same way. Even if Kags DID go off, I just don’t see him going murderous, or running off and having sex with Kikyou. *gag* As for ‘unknown demon heritage‘….I nearly gagged on that, I was laughing so hard. No worries, I will NOT be going there.

I cannot reveal those things I WILL do, but I am going to now say what I know I will NOT do…
1) NO DEMON KAGS!!! No! NEVAR! Haha. There are a few very good stories out there that include this, but there are a very LARGE amount that suck. Royally. No, her parents weren’t actually demons, no she is not the hime of anything, and no she will not suddenly ‘unlock’ this. No. Half the fun of Kags/Sess is getting him to move past hating ningens…and seeing that discounting an entire species is wrong, because not all of them are the same.
2) NO TRAINING MONTAGE!! Though I will reference to the fact that Sango buffed up her abilities to fight, and her miko powers will have grown substantially (also her ability to use said powers) in the four years she’s been traveling in the Sengoku Jidai, there will be no ‘let us train you now, leading to angst and sexual tension, la la la’ moments.
3) NO ARM RESTORATION! I don’t think ANYONE has the power to grow back an ARM in an instant. Healing, yes. Restoring bone, muscle, and tendons? No. I do think it would regenerate over time, but poor Sesshou will just have to wait it out. *comforts*
4) NO ‘OMG I’M PHYSICALLY ATTRACTED TO YOU SO MUST BE IN LOVE!’ Love isn’t lust, they are different things. Love is something borne of understanding, trust, and time together. So, it wont be ‘jump in bed and aishiteru’. :P
5) NO ‘WE HAD SEX AND NOW I AM IMMORTAL!! WOO!’ Though I like to idea of Kags sharing Sesshou’s lifespan, I don’t see mating a demon making this possible. Nice thought, like stories that do this, but I am not going to. I want to TRY to be original, damnit!!
6) NO SESSHOU MIND READING OR DREAM POKING! He cannot get into her head. Would make understanding easier, sure, but no. Not to happen.

Those are just a few examples. There are a lot I’ve missed that I will NOT be doing, but my brain just died on that. Now, my next topic: use of Japanese in my writing. I watch anime in Japanese. Lots of anime. Usually fan subs. I am used to reading them this way, and I am used to listening to the Japanese words (I enjoy listening to the way sentences are worded, and terms used trying to figure out what’s what. I love Japanese culture, and so I include words the way I am used to. When I watch subs, I see and hear BAKA and YOUKAI, and OSUWARI rather than STUPID and DEMON and SIT. Now, I know the English for it, and use both, but I will NOT stop using Japanese terms. I don’t even think about it when I use them, its natural for me. I wont do entire sentences, but certain words are just interchangeable for me.

Last topic: why I write the characters how I do. They will NOT be totally canon in their behavior, but as I said in the beginning, those changes are for a reason (Sesshoumaru is the biggest for this). What’s the reason? If I told you then my biggest plot twist would be given away. XD

Kags: Strong willed, playful, argumentative, hot headed, loyal, accepting, caring, forgiving, understanding, talkative, intelligent, acts without thinking. Its rather like her character in the anime and manga, but with tweaks. I believe a few years in the Sengoku Jidai would mature her, along with natural aging, and she would become stronger of mind, spirit, and body. She would have learned many lessons in that time, and grown because of it. She’s not such a whiner (my BIGGEST Kags complaint) most of the time, she isn’t AS dependant on others, and she still everything she used to be at the same time. I use my own life as experience for her, because she and I are rather alike. I was a lot like her when I was fifteen, and I grew up (having a child at 19 helps that process along substantially, but even just normal maturing took place). I believe in accepting everyone no matter who they are, and I will NOT go against my friends, no matter what the situation. So I use my own personality to write her, it makes it easier.

Sesshou: Arrogant, honorable, protective, possessive, steadfast, sarcastic, composed, vengeful, honest, intelligent, standoffish, demanding. I believe the ice is a defense mechanism, due to whatever happened in Sesshou’s past to make him that way. The mask is there to appear cool and strong no matter the taunts or threats in battle, and also a way to keep his feelings to himself. The ice is like a wall around his heart, unwilling to allow anything in again in order to stop from being hurt (again, perhaps?). I believe Sesshou is just like the rest of us, to a point, in that he just want to protect himself. I think he has a sense of humor in there, though he isn’t one to let others know it, and his possessive and protective nature is testament to his ability to love. I think so, anyway.

So yeah, just wanted to make all this clear, so that if there are more similar questions to those I got in my email box, I can make then go back to this to read. ^____^ Sorry to bore, minna!