InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ His Past, Her Present, Their Future ❯ Secrets ( Chapter 20 )

[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]

Disclaimer: No own. No care. No interweb. *weep*

Note: No, in this era they did not note years. But, seeing as I do NOT want to break it all into lunar cycles, lets all pretend they know what a year is, ne? XD


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His Past, Her Present, Their Future
Chapter 20 - Secrets

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Kagome did a small victory dance at the sight in front of her. The library was something of her dreams! About one hundred years prior to her stay with Sesshoumaru in the Sengoku Jidai, a too-fed fire in the corner had sent a spark just far enough to engulf half the precious library, and while it had been rebuilt, many books and scrolls had been lost. Mostly the former, which was unfortunate since they were such a rarity anyway.

Now there were shelves upon shelves of the banned commodity, and Kagome was absolutely tingling with excitement. She spent almost an hour just browsing the collection, in awe of the knowledge and history that was sitting in front of her. She could have swooned.

One book caught her attention with the detail put into it; all were made by hand, obviously but the person who had scripted this particular edition had taken much time for detail. She wasn’t clear to what it was about, but she plucked it from its place and surreptitiously tiptoed from the large room and made a break for the gardens.

It was nearly sunset, and she would likely be asked to stay inside if she was caught, so with minor manipulations of her aura she slipped past the guards unnoticed and into the smaller Western Garden. In this garden, the flowers bloomed year-round from their magicks, and Kagome soon found herself relaxing back within the bloom-filled world.

There had been an insurgence of attacks over the previous few days, and she had been strictly forbade by her host to leave the Western wing of the palace after dark. Well, she was still in the western area, ne? Mattaki would just have to accept her rebellious side. She had barely had time to crack open the book before the voice interrupted her.

“So, you can read, can you?” his voice said sarcastically.

Kagome peeked over her novel to see Sesshoumaru in the dusk’s vivid glow, standing almost directly over her prone form with a sneer on his perfect face. Kagome huffed, “Yes. I can read, write, and do mathematical equations you will not even hope to grasp for over half a century,” she said with her own mocking smile.

Sesshoumaru growled and glared at her, “I see. You can do all that, but you cannot listen to a command issued by my father?”

Kagome had enough sense to look abashed, and turned away from his gaze, “I like to be outside. I need to see the stars, or I become restless. I am not used to spending so much time indoors.”

Sesshoumaru tilted his head to the side, and Kagome thought of a puppy. She swallowed her amusement as best she could and tried to focus on his words instead, “Why not? What do you do that you spend such time outdoors?”

“You can sit down, you know. Its rude to stand over a person like this.”

Sesshoumaru snorted derisively but acquiesced to her request gracefully, dropping into a lotus position beside her. He cocked a single brow at her to remind her of his unanswered question. She rolled her eyes and sat up.

“Yeah, yeah, I know. There was…a magickal artifact. Because of me, it was broken into many pieces, and so for the last five years I have worked to recover them. This led to many, many nights outdoors with my companions.”

“Ah, I see then. Why would something so basic take so long?”

“We…my friends and I…were not the only ones after them. The pieces gave demons and humans alike great strength, but it was tainted power. There was one particular demon that was after it most of all, and the scales tipped back and forth many times before we were able to defeat him.”

“Your friends, you say? Does this include this Sesshoumaru?”

Kagome smiled a little, “No…not for a long while. You and I have only been friends for a bit longer than a year now.”

“Why is that?”

“You are far too curious, Sesshoumaru.”

“And you are far too stubborn, onna.”

“How do you figure?”

He shrugged dramatically - well, dramatic for what Kagome was used to, “Because you avoid my questions.”

Kagome snorted in a very unladylike way, “I have answered all but one, Sesshoumaru. I am pushing luck by telling you anything of my life, since it crosses your own so often.”

“And why would it be wrong to tell me? I know that you told my father things of his life, for he has been very contemplative since you arrived.”

“Hai, I did, but not intentionally. Mattaki is just too intelligent for his own good,” she smirked and glanced at the youkai from the corner of her eye, “I cannot risk telling you of things yet to come, because I know many things of your future. Though not in detail, I know several, if not all of the life-changing events of the next five hundred years for you. Some, you would try to change if you knew. Others, you may not intentionally, but they may not happen. And these things must happen to have led to the ending I know. I cannot risk you unwriting my existence. I fear it would cause collapse of time itself, because if you changed something that caused me not to come here, then you would not know to change anything…it is complicated, you know?”

Sesshoumaru scowled, but seemed to understand her implications. He laid back into the plush flowers. Kagome was about to join him when her eyes fully alighted on his frame, taking the time to look at him for the first time since her arrival. There were few differences in this youkai and hers, as she affectionately referred to the Sesshoumaru of the Sengoku Jidai, but the subtle distinctions were enough. His hair hardly reached the small of his back, and his structure was slightly smaller and more delicate everywhere. He was shorter in build, slimmer, and even his aura held a youth and purity she never imagined the Taiyoukai to possess. The death of his mother really had changed him irrevocably.

Realizing she was staring, Kagome flared red and plopped back into the blossoms, staring up at the bright night sky. She sighed, “I love the stars.”

Her companion grunted in response and continued his mental retreat. He was mulling over things he could safely ask the enigma that laid so casually beside him without breeching the boundaries she had instilled, and all the while trying to ignore the pull of her. Her scent, her eyes, her smiles…it all called to him in some primal way that he found hard to ignore. Though, like his parents, he found no faults in humans simply for their birth, he simply felt them inferior to himself. But this girl…

He shook off the train of thought before it could continue, and dawned on an interesting question, “Miko, you say that this Sesshoumaru tries to kill you when we first meet, ne?”

Kagome turned on her side to face her companion, propping herself up on an elbow. Yes, she had told him that, figuring that would happen whether she said it or not. She had been holding Tessaiga at the time, and Sesshoumaru was a bit insane with lust for the fang, “Yes…what’s your point?”

“Though my opinion of you is very little at this moment, I do not feel that if I saw you again I would attempt to take your life. Are you not possibly changing things just by simply speaking to me in a friendly manner?”

Kagome paled. She really had not considered that. Her mind raced. Was she, in fact, changing things which had already happened? For her, at least. What if Sesshoumaru, in fact, had not tried to kill her those times? She supposed that wouldn’t matter, they would still not be on very good terms since he was trying to kill InuYasha even when not trying to kill her. So, would a budding friendship with the future lord in this era change things? Kagome gulped.

“I really do not know, Sesshoumaru, though I think it would be too taxing on my sanity to not speak to you at all. You may not know me, but I do know you.”

Sesshoumaru was silent for a long time before he responded, his voice barely over a whisper, “I can imagine that it would be difficult.”

“Hai,” she said with a nod, “It is. To find someone you know, someone whom you have confided your secrets to, but yet they know nothing of you? It is very complex.”

Sesshoumaru appeared to be staring at the sky, but his gaze was on the thoughtful face of the woman next to him, “Then why not tell me things? I do not like to be puzzled, and you puzzle me.”

Kagome laughed lightly, keeping her gaze on the sky, “I am the miko Kagome.”

“I know that.”

“So? Now your turn.”

“My turn?”

“Yes, now you tell me something. Quid pro quo and all that.”

Sesshoumaru gave the girl an incredulous look, but decided to play along, “I am Sesshoumaru, son of the Inu no Taisho.”

“I watch the stars almost every night, hoping for a shooting star to wish on.”

“What would you wish for?”

Kagome turned her head slightly, “No questions.”

“Fine,” Sesshoumaru harrumphed, “I watch the stars because my mother told me our futures are written in them, and I hope someday to decipher it,” he found it easier to simply play off whatever she said.

“I once fell asleep in a hot spring in the dead of winter, and almost drowned.”

He stifled a laugh at this, “I once fell into a hot spring when I was a pup, and my father had to jump in after me to pull me out.”

Kagome grinned, but her smile quickly faded, “I watched my best friend die,” she wasn’t sure why she had said that, but this game was best played just saying whatever came to mind.

Sesshoumaru’s small smile faded as well, “My uncle died to save me from an ookami youkai when I was a newborn.”

“I once saved the world from an all consuming evil,” Kagome said seriously, shuddering as she thought back to Naraku.

“I once saved my father from an assassin,” he had only been a child then, and it ended up being his first kill.

Kagome decided it was time to lighten back the mood, “I once kissed a stubborn Taiyoukai, then yelled at him and ran away,” Kagome smiled secretively at that announcement. No harm in telling him that, was there?

Sesshoumaru, for the first time in his life, felt a stirring of jealousy in the pit of his stomach. He wondered on this, but simply chalked it up to that she had been covered in his scent when she first arrived, “Who?”

“I told you, no questions.”

“Well you will answer that one, wench!”

Kagome scowled. They had been getting on so well! She stuck out her tongue childishly, “I will not.”

“Then I am going inside.”

Kagome rolled her eyes, “Fine.”

She watched as he rose and stomped away, and a heavy sigh escaped her chest. She had meant to make him curious, not angry. No longer happy to lie in the garden, Kagome grabbed up her book and trudged back inside, not caring that the guards scowled at her upon reentry. She just wanted to sleep. Youkai be damned.

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Kagome shouldered her bow and arrows with a happy bounce, slipping on her sneakers. For the first time since her arrival, she was adorned in her modern jeans and a tee-shirt, for comfort, since she had finally convinced Mattaki to let her leave with him on patrol. She was looking forward to some time with the legend, and she could really use the excursion. She had not left the castle walls since she had arrived at the House of the Moon nearly two months prior, and was eager for some butt-kicking.

A few years ago, had someone asked her if she enjoyed fighting, she would have given a vehement no in response, and been deeply offended at the inquiry. While she still treasured life and hated to kill even the mindless oni that happened upon her, she no longer hesitated. She enjoyed the release that came with a fight, her instincts in high gear. So long as she did not go out and kill a demon that was simply minding its own business, she saw nothing wrong with it.

Perhaps going on patrol with Mattaki could be construed as looking for a fight, and in a way it was. But she was not going to rain her hama-no-ya down on every beast she saw, she simply wished to assist the Taiyoukai (as if he needed assistance) in keeping the youkai at bay. It was his job as Lord of the West to look for any disturbances, and she was merely someone along for the ride.

Kagome walked through the halls with a lightness running through her that had not been present since a few days prior when Sesshoumaru had left her in the garden. He hadn’t spoken to her since, and it had been weighing on her heavily. She would not apologize for her baiting of him, but she felt badly nonetheless. Had she already ruined a chance to start their friendship off early?

She entered the courtyard where she was to meet Mattaki, trying to disband her thoughts of the young demon, when she saw him. She was surprised she noticed him, under a very late blooming sakura tree far to her right, but it seemed she always had a Sesshoumaru radar. She felt the instant her heart broke.

The demoness beside him was obviously nobility, perhaps some youkai hime, beauty and aristocracy pouring off her in waves. Her dark blue hair cascaded over her shoulders, and Kagome watched the prince beside her run his claws down her cheek in such a gentle manner. The shards of her heart were audible to her as they fell in her chest, the barest tinkling sound in the seemingly frozen body of hers. She couldn’t look away as he leaned in to kiss her, she couldn’t even bring herself to cry. Why did it hurt so much? He was not hers, especially not in this era. Perhaps in the Sengoku Jidai she might have had rights to jealousy, but here?

She watched them embracing, mouths pressed together hungrily, and finally a tear fell from her eyes. She finally understood…she really had been falling in love with him over the last year, hadn’t she? Her heart did not distinguish between this Sesshoumaru and her Sesshou, because she was having problems doing it as well. So seeing him there, in the arms of a beautiful demoness, her heart simply wept and shattered, forcing her to witness the perceived betrayal.

It did not matter to her broken heart that this Sesshoumaru had not been the one she had spent time with, the one who had protected her, the one that kissed away her tears. It did not matter that for this Sesshoumaru those events would not happen for several centuries still. All that mattered was that her silver-haired inuyoukai was wrapped up intimately with a woman that was not her. The tears fell faster as she was finally able to rip her gaze away.

She ran the way she had been heading, and tore past stunned guards and out of the castle gates. She had to get away, as far away as she could. In her rational mind, she was sighing and tapping a finger at herself. She had always known he had been with another when he was younger, he had told her that he had once been in love. So how could she be upset? She knew they did not stay together, because she was certainly not there in the future. Perhaps she was killed? In any case, she was meant to be. Kagome’s broken heart willed itself to turn to dust. She just had to get sent to the right point in his life where he was with her, didn’t she?


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A/N: ‘nother installment! Sorry I’ve slowed down a little lately, my mom just left back to Cali, so now I can pick back up! ^__^

Lighter Note: More antics of my daughter, the future anime-crazed Rayvn. Ahhh she is so cute….she is not a normal two year old, as we have already established. She had Elmo on to watch this morning, while I was reading a fanfic, but chose to come and sit with me,

Rayvn: “Mama, I wanna watch InuYasha with YOU.”
Me: “Later baby, go watch Elmo, okay? Momma’s reading.”
Rayvn: “Later I watch InuYasha? And Kagame?” (spelling is on purpose for how she says it)
Me: “Sure, sugar.”
Rayvn: “And the Bad Guy? And Sesshoumamaru?” (again, spelling, she didn’t quite get it out right)
Me: “Yes, silly child.”
Rayvn: “Lots and lots of Sesshoumarus, hah Mama?”
Me: *snicker* “You like him, don’t you RayRay?”
Rayvn: “I loooove one Sesshoumarus and two Sesshoumarus…”

This went on for a while, counting to 13 Sesshoumarus. XD I think having him on my desktop and a pin on my purse has pulled her interest. I ended up breaking down and putting on a few episodes, in which she learned Jaken, Kagura, and Kohaku on top of all other characters she already knows (all of the Inu-Tachi + Rin and Sesshou…Naraku is just “BAD GUY!!!” which she shrieks every time he comes on the screen). Is this wrong? XD I think I may be instilling the wrong values in my child… Hehehehe…but hey, I’d rather watch InuYasha with her than another revolution of the same Blue’s Clues DVD…*shudder*