InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Hurtful Words: Past & Present ❯ The Present: Chapter 14 ( Chapter 14 )

Disclaimer: Inuyasha is Copyright of Takahashi Rumiko

Hurtful Words: The Present
Chapter 14

Rin returned at sunset with two handfuls of pink lilies. She walked slowly to the group, half due to her reluctance to deal with them and the other half due to feeling weak. She had cried the entire time she had been gone. Her eyes were still red and puffy, her head pounded with each breath she took. She had taken her hair down in order hide her face as well as remove any further strain on her head. Her throat ached from her sobbing and from the many, many coughing fits she suffered through. She only hoped that there were no traces of blood left to attract attention from Sesshoumaru and Inuyasha. Any questions they had would go unanswered, any concerns would go unnoticed. She simply was not in the mood. She had returned because they were waiting and because the sooner she did return, the sooner they would leave her alone. Funny though, the thought of being alone did not offer her any comfort this time.

Sesshoumaru watched as Rin drew near, sighing inwardly at the beautiful but sad sight. Her hair danced in the wind and across her face, hiding half of it from sight. The sun set behind her, outlining her tiny frame and placing a dark shadow on her face. The scent of her despair mixed with the lilies only added to the scene. He thought of the tears he had seen in her eyes and suddenly felt a small throbbing pain in his gut. Never had he seen her cry. Not even when she was being held hostage or received a painful injury. While he was sure she did cry, he realized now that she probably never allowed him to see those tears. He felt that strange throb again and realized it was guilt. He felt guilty.

And why should he feel guilty? After all it was she who had ran away without fully understanding what he had meant by what he said. She had not asked for an explanation. Not that he owed her one. This Sesshoumaru did not explain his behavior to anyone. This was entirely her fault. If she had left him alone when she had stumbled upon him all those years ago, he never would have been compelled to revive her. And she certainly would not have had a need to follow him around worshiping him and smiling and laughing and giving him joy just because his mere existence made her happy. And she would not be sad right now and he would not want to do whatever it would take to make her happy again. Yes, it was all her fault.

"I apologize for keeping you all waiting," Rin told them as she approached, her voice low and gentle. "I'm sure everyone is anxious to eat and rest so why don't we hurry?" She turned, her head slightly down so as to hide her face, and lead the way to where they had left the horses.

Kagome and Inuyasha followed after her in silence. Kagome struggled against the need to comfort Rin and held tightly to Inuyasha instead. Sesshoumaru walked behind the couple, carefully keeping his distance and trying to convince himself he was not at fault.

Rin steered clear of the group for the rest of the night. While Kagome and Inuyasha prepared dinner, she tended to the horses with twice as much attention. At dinner she ate in silence, always keeping her mouth full so they would have no chance to ask her a question and get an answer. When she was done eating, she quickly cleaned up her mess, gathered her flowers, and departed for the hot spring.

Sesshoumaru watched her every move.

He followed after her, watching curiously when she plucked each lily from its stem and dropped it on the water's surface. He diverted his eyes when she undressed and waited until he heard her get in the water before directing his attention back to her.

The long and luxurious bath did not help her relax as he was sure she had planned. She showed no physical signs of crying but she spent most of her time doing so. Though the tears fell freely down her cheeks her body did not quiver and no sobs escaped her mouth. She simply looked as though she were somewhere else completely.

He wondered vaguely why he was torturing himself by watching, wondered why his heart clenched as if a hand was gripping it. He knew they should talk, but the more he watched her, the less he wanted to say and the stronger his desire to simply hold her became. So he turned and walked away, cursing the foolish emotions that threatened to consume him.

"You watch her a lot, did you know that?" Inuyasha leaned against a tree a good distance from the hot spring, patiently waiting for his brother to return.

Sesshoumaru stopped and stared at Inuyasha. He had nothing to say.

"I did that too, with Kagome," Inuyasha continued, not surprised that Sesshoumaru did not respond. "I watched the way her smile lit her eyes, the way she laughed, the way she carried herself. I enjoyed watching her when she slept more than anything. She always looked like an angel...so peaceful and calm. I couldn't get enough of watching her, couldn't get enough of those weird feelings I had when I did. And the more I watched her, the more possessive I felt. She was mine; mine to protect, mine to make happy, mine to love," he met his brothers eyes. "But watching was never enough. How long are you going to just stand by and watch?"

Again, Sesshoumaru said nothing. He stared at Inuyasha for many moments before he shifted and walked past his brother and away from Rin.

Begin Dream~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Red. Everything was red. Her small home was engulfed in hot red flames, the boards of wood cracking, the entire thing burning. Her parents and her brother were covered in hot red blood, their spirits cracking as death took them, their souls screaming in pain. She watched, hidden high up in a tree, in horror and in silence. Her heartbeat roughly against her chest and her head echoed with the faint sound of barking.

Then she was running. Running as fast as she could as the barking became louder and distinct. Behind her darkness blacker than the darkest night threatened to consume her, ahead of her a light bright enough to blind her offered to save her. She saw someone's face there, saw that it was strong and knew she would be safe with it. She ordered her little legs to go faster but they revolted and instead caused her to fall. Darkness consumed her and welcomed the wolves to feast upon her body.

But then there was a brilliant flash of white light. The wolves fled and the light transformed before her eyes. A gigantic white dog formed and stood before her, its mouth dripping with saliva, its eyes blood red. It's barking nearly made her ears bleed. She stood there, frozen and unable to move as it charged at her. Her light, her salvation, would kill her and she would not deny her fate. If she were to die here and in this way, then so be it.

No, her body protested. She was suddenly on her feet and running. She escaped and hid in a tiny dark cave, hid there until her tiny frame grew to large to fit. When she stepped out she found that her legs and arms were longer. Her hair fell to the backs of her knees and she wore a beautiful piece of armor. For a brief moment she was happy but then it ended all to soon. The white dog returned and though it made no attempt to harm her, she ran away.

"Rin," it called to her.

She kept running, afraid to stop and listen to what it had do say.

"Rin," it whispered in her ear.

She found herself captured, wrapped in its arms, held firmly so she could not escape. She squirmed, determined to escape, determined not to look in those gorgeous golden eyes. She was trembling, frightened by him, by Sesshoumaru, by how he could change everything and make it better.

"Rin," he said firmly this time. "I care, I always have and I always will. You know that. I care about you, human or not, I care. You belong with me, only with me."

"No!"
End Dream~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Don't you think you should wake her?" Inuyasha's eyes diverted away from Rin to meet Sesshoumaru's.

"No." Sesshoumaru stared at the thrashing girl, inhaled the scent of her sweat and fear, and listened to the rapid beat of her heart.

"Nani?" Inuyasha asked incredulously. "It seems like a pretty rough nightmare. Why let her suffer more?"

"It is for her to deal with. She has had this dream since she was a child," he said it as though it were common knowledge.

"How can you tell?" Inuyasha asked quietly. He knew what it was like to be plagued, night after night, by the same nightmare.

"I know the change in the scent of her fear, of the speed of her heartbeat. It is the same as it always has been. Though it is longer this time, as if another fear has manifested itself in her dreams." What new form of torture have you brought upon yourself Rin?, Sesshoumaru wondered.

Inuyasha shook his head. "Do you know what it is about?"

"From what little she has revealed, she relives her family's and her own death. The rest this Sesshoumaru is unsure of. But since it has gotten longer while she has been in my presence, I can assume it involves me," he added grimly.

Inuyasha was about to speak when Rin sat up quickly and screamed at the top of her lungs. Both he and Sesshoumaru stared at her, surprised by her outburst.

"It was your dream again," Sesshoumaru said, knowing it was unnecessary to ask.

Rin sighed, hating that he had not forgotten such information. "Hai," she told him weakly.

She lay back down, trying to calm her trembling body and force herself to go back to sleep. She squeezed her eyes closed when she heard the soft padding of boots upon the ground. The ruffling she heard coming towards her settled down a short distance behind her. She bit her lip, fighting back the tears, fighting the urge to reach out to him. To Sesshoumaru. Despite herself, she found comfort in his close presence and soon fell asleep.

"You must be happy to go home Kagome. Please forgive me for all the trouble I have caused."

Rin walked beside Kagome and looked ahead at Ichigo's home. She was glad, for some strange reason, that Kagome would be accompanying her. She was reluctant to see Ichigo again, especially when she had been much more emotional than she had been in several years. But with Kagome joining her, she felt she could get through it.

"Yes, I am happy to go home, and all is forgiven. I'm actually glad for this little adventure. Inuyasha has changed and he is actually somewhat closer to Sesshoumaru. I hate when those two fight."

Rin nodded, not knowing what to say to that. "Will you tell Sango and Miroku I said hello when you see them?"

"Hai. Of course."

Rin paused a few feet away from the house, sensing something was off. "Something isn't right."

"What do you mean?" Kagome looked around, only slightly curious as to why it was so quiet.

Rin looked around and quickly tied the horses’ reins to a pole just outside the house. She walked in to find Ichigo and Tadaki tightly bound with rope.

"Ichigo!" She rushed to him quickly and immediately began to untie him. "What happened!? Kagome, please untie Tadaki-sama!"

"We were working in the fields and something came out of the forest. Before we could do anything, even look at it, it knocked both of us unconscious. We woke up here like this. There was a fox-youkai, he said he was after the swords," Ichigo added quietly.

Rin's hands fumbled many times and she fought the tears from falling down her face. "Do you understand now, Ichigo, why I couldn't be with you!? I knew something like this would happen. I knew eventually all of you might get hurt because of me. Don't you see!? Trouble follows me. I cannot avoid it and someone always gets hurt in the end. I told you to just leave me alone, you wouldn't listen. Why didn't you listen!?"

"Don't be silly Rin. Don't cry," Ichigo pleaded, surprised to see the strong woman acting so panicky. "This is not your fault."

"It is my fault. In order to get to me, they used you and your family. Where is Saori-sama?" Rin looked around nervously. Why would this damn rope not come undone!

"I don't know, they weren't here when we woke up. They aren't after you Rin, they are after the swords." Ichigo tried to calm her by remaining calm himself.

"They are! They intend to hold me captive in exchange for the swords. And if I hadn't stolen those damn swords in the first place this would not have happened." Frustrated, Rin took out her sword and cut the rope before doing the same for Tadaki.

Tadaki rose to his feet and thanked Kagome for trying to help. "Then you should leave. Do not let them capture you," he urged when he turned to Rin.

"No. They must have Saori-sama and the girls. In their place, I will gladly go with those youkai."

"That is good to hear, as I would hate to have to harm you in order to capture you." The fox youkai they had seen earlier that week stepped through the doorway, pushing Saori and her daughters in ahead of him.

Rin narrowed her eyes and slowly stood to her feet, immediately becoming calm in the face of an enemy. "You. If I'd known you would be a nuisance, I would have taken care of you long ago."

"No need for useless threats," the fox youkai grinned. "Why don't you and your little friend come along, we have quite a way to go."

"Under one condition," Rin stated clearly, all emotion absent from her voice.

"Which would be?" He asked curiously.

"You and your friends are to leave here at once and never return to bother the people in this village, especially this family. If you can grant me that, I will go with out so much as a squeak."

"And if I cannot grant such a request?" He tilted his head to the side.

A smile spread across Rin's lips slowly. "Surely you do not think I carry this sword and wear this amour to look pretty? You may take me, but you will not take me unharmed."

"Like I said, I would hate to have to harm you. I will allow it. Let's go. Both of you."

Ichigo grabbed Rin's hand as she started forward. "Rin, please. You shouldn't do this. You shouldn't trust them."

"I have no choice and no worry, Ichigo. Sesshoumaru will come for me, he always does."

With that said, she and Kagome disappeared with the fox youkai and the many friends he had lurking around the village.

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