InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Hurtful Words: Past & Present ❯ The Present: Chapter 16 ( Chapter 16 )

Disclaimer: Inuyasha is Copyright of Takahashi Rumiko

Hurtful Words: The Present
Chapter 16

"You don't have to carry me," Rin said quietly, trying not to allow her voice to reveal that she was nervous.

Sesshoumaru ignored the woman in his arms as best he could. She was surprisingly light, her hair was as soft as he thought it would be, and there was the slightest blush on her face. It only annoyed him more. Her cheek was slightly bruised from being struck--more than once he was sure. He was still angry that the fox youkai had dared to put his hands on her. That was the main reason he was annoyed. Now he had to carry her and he found he did not mind at all. That also added to his annoyance. If only Jaken were around to pummel into the ground.

"Sesshoumaru-sama?" Rin sighed when he continued to ignore her. "Where are we going?"

When he did not answer her again, Rin began to pout. She was suddenly reminded of all the questions he had left unanswered when she was a child.

"Stop pouting," Sesshoumaru demanded. I find it annoyingly attractive. "I am taking you to your home."

Home, Rin thought to herself. To her quaint and quiet little cavern. She realized suddenly that she did not want to go back, that she did not want to be alone again. Kagome had been so caring and so much like a sister or a close friend. Inuyasha had been..well, Inuyasha she supposed. And Sesshoumaru. She could not help but sigh. He had proved that he cared about her the same as he always had, if not more considering he could use Tenseiga. Speaking of Tenseiga...

"Why don't you just heal my ankle with Tenseiga?" Rin asked meekly.

Sesshoumaru stopped abruptly, banking the desire to drop her. He was frustrated with the foolish emotions he could not rid himself of. Annoyed by the way they tore at him and confused him. Angered that he was not sure if he could let her leave his side again. And still she persisted in adding to all that by questioning him and squirming and pouting. He needed time to think and her mere existence distracted him from any coherent thought.

He ignored her question and started walking again.

Rin sighed and held her head back. She stared up at the stars and resumed her thoughts. What would she do? Could she really go back to living alone now that she knew that she should not have left in the first place? She would tell herself each day that she could have had happiness, a family, protection, and who knows what else. And she would wonder if she could still have it, but she would be afraid to ask for it. She no longer deserved those things from Sesshoumaru. She had never deserved them in the beginning. He had given her a new life, raised her, dressed her, protected her, rescued her. He owed her nothing.

How could she had ever have thought that he did not care for her?

Because you're stupid, she told herself. Stupid, stupid, stupid. It echoed in her head until she drifted off to sleep.

"I enjoyed watching her when she slept more than anything. She always looked like an angel...so peaceful and calm."

Sesshoumaru felt foolish. It was nearly dawn and he was still staring at Rin. Had he not already reached the conclusion that he was not capable of coherent thought while she was around? He should have left to be alone with his own thoughts hours ago. Yet he had sat there, staring the entire time, feeling just as peaceful and calm as she looked.

He had been unable to decide what he would do about her. The only thing that was clear was the fact that today would be the day he left. He simply could not decide if it would be with or without Rin.

What would happen, he asked himself now, if she went with him? Would this strange attraction he felt finally become clearer to him? He still could not decide if it was purely lust or simply curiosity. Would she be able to put her hate for him behind her? Would he dedicate the rest of his life to protecting her and making her happy and l-

His mind went blank. What had he been about to say? He could not remember.

And what would happen if he left without her? He would no longer find himself wondering where she was or how she was doing. He would no longer ask himself why she had run off. Would he feel as though he were missing something as he felt at that moment? Would he be able to forget her laugh or smile, the way she pushed him out of character, or her sleeping face?

Which of the two would cause him less pain? And why did he feel that there would be pain involved in either one? No one caused this Sesshoumaru pain.

He was being stupid. He was being childish. Had he not promised himself that he would never allow himself to indulge in foolish emotions? Had he not promised himself that he would never allow such foolish emotions to change him? He did not need emotions, he had learned to live without them and had become stronger because of it. His enemies found him to be cold and heartless, ruthless and cruel. But as a result he had become calculating and wise, powerful and feared.

And so it was clear what he must do, what choice he must make.

Rin awoke early the following morning. She sat up slowly, feeling strangely energized, and swept her eyes across the cavern. When her eyes drifted over Kagome, she quickly recalled last night’s events.

She was glad Sesshoumaru was not there to see her nervous blush.

She wondered only briefly where he and Inuyasha had gone before she called to Kagome. The woman paused from making breakfast and eagerly came to check on Rin's ankle. Once she found that she was able to walk again, both women put breakfast on hold and left for the river to take a bath.

"Where do you think Sesshoumaru-sama and Inuyasha have disappeared to?" Rin asked as she quickly dressed herself in her favorite purple kimono.

"I'm not sure. When I opened my eyes this morning, I saw them leaving. Inuyasha timed it that way, I think. They'll be back eventually," Kagome offered with a smile.

Rin merely shrugged. "I'm sure they will. Besides, this is typical Sesshoumaru-sama behavior."

Kagome's eyes widened slightly. "Did he often leave you alone without telling you where he went?"

"Well, not alone." Rin tied her red obi tightly and smoothed out her kimono. "Jaken-sama and Ah Un were there. But there were countless times when we would wake and he would be gone. He always came back though."

"You know Rin, this is the first time I have heard you speak with such happiness in your voice," Kagome pointed out. "Will you go back to traveling with Sesshoumaru since he seems to make you so happy?"

"I was a child then. Any amount of attention was capable of making me happy," she offered as she sat on a rock and began to braid her hair. "Those times were good, but now they are over. Sesshoumaru-sama and I will part ways once again, but this time it will be on much friendlier terms."

As if summoned by its master's name, Tenseiga zipped across the sky and hovered just inches in front of Rin. It pulsed once, its edges glowing with white, before it began to fall to the ground. Rin reached out quickly and grabbed it before it clattered against the earth. She held it in both her hands and looked up curiously for any signs of Sesshoumaru.

"Seems to me Sesshoumaru thinks differently," Kagome said with a small laugh. "Perhaps he isn't so anxious for you two to separate."

"No, that can't be it. Sesshoumaru-sama has always hinted about going our separate ways. I'm sure he was pleased that I saved him the trouble by leaving on my own."

"How old are you Rin?" Kagome asked as she approached Rin.

"I will be turning nineteen soon. Why?" She stared curiously.

"Because for someone so smart and mature, you act so silly," she stated as she knelt before Rin. "Sesshoumaru really cares about you and you are unhappy being alone. Why suffer when you could be with him? He would protect you so nothing bad would happen like you say it always does. You can see your friends again. You can have those good days again. Why don't you just go back with him?"

Rin shook her head. "When we were at the fox den, you said that I am the only person who knows Sesshoumaru well," she said sadly. "More or less, you are right. And because I know him, I know going back with him isn't an option for either of us."

She rose to her feet and hung Tenseiga at her side. "We should go back. He might have sent Tenseiga because we came here unattended."

Kagome watched Rin as she walked away, her heart breaking for girl and the inu-youkai who were too stubborn to see they needed each other.

Rin and Kagome were packing food for Kagome's trip to the exterminator village when the inu-youkai brothers returned. They were surprised to see that both brothers had their fair share of bloody cuts and scrapes. Inuyasha limped and held his side, and quickly collapsed beside his mate. Sesshoumaru merely stood off to the side with his arms crossed, looking completely unaffected.

"Inuyasha! What happened to you?" Kagome immediately began checking Inuyasha's wounds. "Daijoubu?"

"Hai, I'm fine. Sesshoumaru and I were just sparring," Inuyasha offered, trying to calm the panic in Kagome's voice.

But instead of pacifying her, she became angrier. She glared at Sesshoumaru and then at Inuyasha before getting her survival kit. "Sparring? It looks as though you were trying to kill each other! How could you go out and willingly get hurt! We were supposed to leave today, now we can't go anywhere while you are in this condition."

"Keh, these wounds are nothing! We are going to leave as planned so don't argue with me," he added just as her mouth opened.

Rin stared at Sesshoumaru, unable to remember a time when he had visible wounds other than when she had stumbled across him. "Are you alright, Sesshoumaru-sama? Maybe you could use some bandages like Inuyasha?"

"That is unnecessary."

"But what if your wounds get infected?" she asked as she stepped forward.

"My wounds are nothing compared to Inuyasha's. I am fine."

"Fine? What fine?" Rin asked angrily, her instincts telling her otherwise.

She reached forward without warning and yanked the sleeve of his haori down his arm. A long, deep gash extended from his mid-arm to his shoulder. She stared at it in surprise, feeling woozy at the sight of his dark red blood. She had not seen so much blood since...since...

Sesshoumaru hissed in pain and quickly grabbed Rin's hand. He spun her away from him and turned on her with a snarl, fully prepared to snap at her or simply snap her arm. But when he caught sight of her concerned look, he fought to remain calm and dropped her hand.

"You call that fine?" Rin asked quietly, watching as Sesshoumaru gently fixed his haori. "Why don't you let me put some bandages on that?"

"Keep your hands to yourself, woman. If you wish to assist me then hand me Tenseiga," he suggested to her.

"Oh, hai. I had forgotten." She reached down and placed her hand on Tenseiga's hilt. She pulled the blade halfway out before stopping to look up. "Why did you order Tenseiga to me? If you were fighting with Inuyasha, you could not have known where we went."

"Because we can't have a fair fight if Sesshoumaru's got a sword that will heal him every time he gets a tiny scratch," Inuyasha explained with a mocking tone. "But he couldn't ditch just anywhere. Naturally you came to mind, but neither of us thought Tenseiga would reach you."

Feeling dejected, Rin looked down at the blade. "I see. Another test." She held Tenseiga out for Sesshoumaru.

Sesshoumaru glared at his brother for causing Rin to look so pained. "This Sesshoumaru sent Tenseiga to you because you are the only one he can entrust it to. And yes, it was another test. A test that would reveal if I could protect one who is far away."

He reached out and grabbed Tenseiga, immediately feeling its healing powers travel through his body. He placed the blade back at his side and turned to meet Rin's eyes. Slightly taken aback by her sudden smile, he distracted himself by smoothing his haori.

"You heal yourself, Sesshoumaru-sama. But what of my ankle?" Rin asked softly, feeling a strange sense of happiness wash over her.

"He tried that," Inuyasha interrupted, enjoying the rise he was getting out of his brother. "When you were sleeping. He hasn't mastered the technique yet."

It took all of Sesshoumaru's effort not to laugh when Kagome tightened Inuyasha's bandages enough to make him squeal. "This is also true and since you are not healed, you should not be walking."

"If I cannot worry about your wounds, you may not worry about mine," she told him with a smile. "Besides, Kagome informed me that my ankle is much better than it was yesterday. I am capable of walking."

"Limping is not the same of walking."

Rin smiled and turned to finish packing Kagome's lunch. "It is today."

Sesshoumaru watched the young woman, remembering the picture Inuyasha's friend had shown them. The outfit she wore now was the same from the picture, but that was the only existing similarity. The woman in the picture had been unhappy, disrespectful, and had quite the biting tongue. But in a matter of days she had undergone a dramatic change. This Rin was becoming friendlier and happier with each passing day. Her actions and speech were still quite bold, but he noticed she made no effort to be disrespectful. And she was even calling him "Sesshoumaru-sama" again.

Did his feelings for her really mean so much to Rin?

Yes, he realized, they did. Humans were such emotional creatures, and females were incredibly more emotional than the average human. They offered so many emotions and therefore demanded them in return.

Rin had been able to suffice with the lack of emotion he showed until she began to mature into a young woman. She would be needy of very things he would not give. He could protect and clothe her, the things most necessary to life. So why was that not enough?

Sesshoumaru turned away when Rin laughed. It did not matter any longer. Youkai and humans live differently, they traveled different paths. This would be the last time he and Rin's paths would cross. After today, he would never see her again.

Thanks for reading.

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