InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ I am the Moon ❯ Only Hate ( Chapter 16 )

A/n: I do not own Inuyasha, Rumikio Takahashi does.

 

Only Hate

 

“What happened? What the hell just happened?” Inuyasha yelled.

“Shut up half breed!” Sesshomaru roared.

Sesshomaru stared at the spot where Naraku had just been. The dark hanyou had taken his only daughter and heir to the West. He stared around at the destruction his progeny had reined at the foot of Mount Fuji and shook his head in disbelief. Something dangerous and powerful had occurred and it centered on her. Asuna's mate was dead and she was pupped again. He had felt her utter despair and hatred. He could not believe that Naraku lived and he obviously intended to use his daughter for his own disgusting ends.

“Sheng needs his honors due him.” Augusta said quietly.

“Hai.” Sesshomaru replied in kind.

“Sesshomaru what happened here?” Inuyasha growled low.

“Our old foe has taken what is most precious to us all.” He replied sharply.

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He held me to him and I sobbed. The blood in my veins ran cold and hatred coursed through and blackness threatened to eat my soul.

“You must get Hiroto and Kazuo. Please if you love me bring me my sons!” I sobbed.

He nodded slowly and pulled away from me. He transformed into my own spitting image and disappeared. I laid my cheek against the wood of the floor. We were in his northern castle. He had defied logic and had appeared before everyone. They would have thought he had kidnapped me and not saved me. I sobbed until I passed out from exhaustion. The amount of power that had coursed through me earlier had drained every bit of strength that I possessed. What had occurred had not been natural and had been born from adrenaline and hate. If the Shikon had been in my possession at the moment it would have been blacker than a moonless night.

Naraku reappeared with my sons in his arms. He had transformed to his normal appearance and he settled them near me. I was awoken by them crawling on me and laughing. They were pure and innocent and free from the destruction that had occurred. They had also lost their father and I could not forgive myself of not being there. I smiled at them and kissed them fiercely. Pain clenched my chest again and I realized the void that would dog my soul forever.

“They will be giving him his honors soon. He was a consort of the West and I must attend. Can you attend my sons?” I asked in a hollow voice.

“Hai.” He answered quietly.

“Are your servants here? Can you take me to the palace?” I said quietly.

“They are here. They will guard your sons till I return.” He confirmed.

“You were foolish to reveal yourself.” I commented.

“You had channeled so much power that I was afraid for you and our pup.” He said looking at me.

“We are alive.” I said bitterly.

I heard the twins squealing in delight and almost burst into tears.

“Tell them I took you without your consent.” He said putting a hand on my shoulder.

It dawned on me the dual meaning of his words and my eyes widened in horror. He wanted me to lead my father into believing that he; Naraku had raped me.

“I will not dishonor either of us by such a disgusting lie.” I said in anger.

“They would believe me capable of it to hurt them and you could return unscathed. It would explain the pup.” He said looking at me.

“I will not say that you violated me. I will say nothing.” I said my eyes flashing.

“You are devastated by your horrendous loss. You are no thinking clearly. You will want to return to your family at some point. They will not believe that you gave yourself to me willingly and so do not even try. I am evil remember?” he said with a ghost of a smile.

“No you are not. No, I will not bring further dishonor to myself by castigating you. I love you.” I said choking back my emotions.

He lifted my chin and I stared into his crimson eyes. He stepped back and went to retrieve his ningen servant. He returned shortly and the ningen onna happily sat with the boys and they mock attacked her. I smiled at the girl and she smiled back. Naraku pulled me to him and we removed ourselves to the Western Palace. We appeared by a side gate and I quickly entered and went to my chambers. Mayu watched me and I looked at her sadly.

“My Lady, I am so sorry.” She lamented.

“It will be well Mayu.” I said in my hollow voice.

I went to my armoire and threw it open and started pulling out my clothes. I pulled out several kimonos both formal and informal. I threw haori, hakamas, and kosodes into a pile. Mayu stared at me horror as I removed personal effects.

“My Lady what are you doing?”

“I have to leave for now Mayu. I love you. You have always been very good to me.” I said sadly.

“Take me with you.” She begged.

“Mayu, I have done things I am not proud of and I cannot drag you into something that will bring further shame.” I said.

“You love the dark hanyou, I have known for along time Lady. You are as my own pup! I pulled you from your mother's womb and I have cared for you this past century. Who else can help care for two miniature taiyouki?” she asked desperately.

“I have no idea when and if I will return Mayu. I love him and I carry his pup. I have betrayed this house but I will not betray my heart again. It got Sheng killed and I will not lose him too.” I said with tears stinging my eyes.

“You have been my soul my dear girl. Only your mother loves you more than I. I serve and attend the Lady Asuna. Your own sire commanded it so over a century ago.” She said bowing.

“Then come quickly.” I said.

She took some of my clothing and we left from whence I came. Naraku eyed her coolly but he took us all back to his castle.

“You hurt her and I will remove your male parts with my own claws.” Mayu said jovially.

I stared at my former nurse maid and smirked. Naraku smirked at Mayu and she blinked in innocence. We entered the Great Hall and the ningen and the boys were playing. When Hiroto and Kazuo saw Mayu the growled playfully.

“Are they ever in a bad mood?” Naraku asked kneeling next to them.

Kazuo transformed and he was the size of a large mortal inu. He barked at Naraku and grabbed the hanyou's hand and shook his head side to side pretending to mangle. I laughed out loud at my pup's antics. The playfulness was Sheng. My heart hurt and I had to turn away. Mayu put her hands on my shoulders and I felt grateful. Hiroto turned himself also and they chased each other.

“My Lady come. We will dress you in state. Sheng would not forgive you if you looked bad for his funeral.” She said.

I laughed at the thought and felt an overwhelming hatred settle into me.

“When I finish sending Sheng on with honors I am going after the one that started all this.” I said in an icy voice.

“Who?” Naraku asked in surprise.

“My grandsire in Russia.” I snarled.

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I stood at a distance and watched as the flames licked greedily at their prey. I was dressed in a formal kimono of white and red. My hair had been done in a very elaborate and traditional style. Tassels hung from hair and earrings hung from my lobes. I wore a yellow and navy obi and my fang hung from my hip. I watched from the distance and darkness continued to eat away at my soul. My scent and aura was masked but my father saw me from the distance. My eyes locked with his and I turned and watched the flames grow higher. Part of me had died and I felt coldness. My father strolled casually so as not to startle me. I looked at him and felt nothing.

“Why did Naraku take you.” He asked in a cold voice.

“To save me from myself.” I answered.

“How?” he asked incredulously.

“He had made a wish on the jewel. He did not wish for the miko trash, he wished for me.” I said dispassionately.

“Excuse me?” he asked in shock.

“He wished for the idea if you will. He is not your enemy any longer.” I answered.

“Like hell he is not.” He roared.

“Why did Tensaiga not revive Sheng? Did you try?” I asked in anger.

“That is an impertinent question.” he snapped.

“Answer it.” I snapped at him.

“What ails you? You have lost your mind!” Sesshomaru yelled.

“Hai I have. It burns yonder as the body of my beloved.” I answered coldly.

“You will return to the West.” He ordered.

“I will finish avenging my mate before I return anywhere.” I growled.

“Asuna!” he snarled.

“YOU LET HIM DIE!” I rounded on him.

My father stared at me in shock at my disrespectful manner.

“YOU ARE LORD SESSHOMARU. You are the most powerful taiyouki in Japan and he died. I should have been there but YOU let him die.” I screamed.

My father's eyes hardened and I stepped back. Other family members drifted closer and I stared at them.

“You will return to the West and your sons.” My sire repeated.

“My sons are already with me. I will not return before I have done what needs to be done. If you cannot accept my alliance with Naraku then I shall never return.” I snarled.

“Asuna!” my mother called after me in a pained voice.

I stared at my mother and tears filled my eyes.

“Please have his ashes ready for me in two days time. I am taking them to Manchuria to lay to rest near his father.” I said to my mother.

“Hai my darling.” She answered sadly.

I transformed into the sphere of light and traveled north.

Sesshomaru turned to his mate and snarled furiously.

“Accept her alliance with Naraku?” he yelled.

“Sesshomaru do you wish your daughter to return to us?” Augusta asked gently.

“Asinine question onna.” He snapped.

“Allow her to do as she needs and she will return to her life. Naraku is no longer our enemy and is her ally. He is the one who helped her defeat Jing.” She said softly.

“There is madness running rampant amongst my family. Naraku should be dead.” He growled.

“Fate is having her way.” She commented.

“I will allow her to gain her sanity back then I will decimate the hanyou filth.” He snarled terribly.

“Oh Kami.” She said sadly.

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I was dressed in a plain red haori and hakamas. I wrapped a patterned black obi around my waist and then secured my fang to my hip. I slipped my dirks into the sheaths on my thighs and braided my hair into a single plait. I had on a pair of black kid skin half boots. Naraku stood in the doorway and I had the ashes of Sheng in an elaborate urn near me.

“I know your feelings on me leaving. Do not try and stop me again.” I said softly.

“I had no intentions. Mayu is here and can keep the boys.” He replied.

“I have to do this myself, do you not understand?” I asked.

“I know you loved the inu, I understand that. I also know that I can help you in your grief.” He stated.

“Naraku my life has changed drastically right now. I am unsure of anything. The only thing I am sure of is that if something happens to you I will lose the will to live. My soul is tied to Sheng and you. Half of it died with him that day.” I said sadly.

“You are intent on separating yourself from those who love you the most.” He said staring at me.

“It was because of me that he died. My father will no doubt try and hunt you down because of me. I cannot lose you too.” I said clutching my chest.

“Does it still ache as badly?” he asked.

“Hai. I do not think it will get better.” I answered.

“You will take care for our pup at least?” he asked coming closer.

“Hai.” I said looking away.

“Will you give me more pups?” he asked gently.

I looked up at him and looked confused. He was trying to make me smile and I did a little.

“How many shall I give you then?” I asked playing along.

“How many are you willing?” He said smirking.

“We shall see shall we?” I asked.

“Be most careful. You know where you are going do you not?” he asked.

“Hai. I will have to go to He Gang.” I said shrugging.

“You are walking straight into that other inu's land?” he asked annoyed.

“What do you imagine I will let him ravish me?” I asked in a temper.

“It is a thought.” He snapped.

“I stood up to my father about you do not be a baka.” I said snorting.

“Fine! Just be sure that I will not have to kill him.” He sneered.

“You act as if you love me.” I said.

“What would give you that impression?” He said as he pulled me to him.

He lowered his lips to mine and kissed me gently. I kissed him desperately and my hands went into his thick black hair. He seemed surprised at my response and I moved my hands to haori and undid his obi.

“Asuna! Are you sure?” he asked.

“Hai. I need to feel something besides the coldness right now.” I said as divested him of his haori and kosode.

He picked me up and took me to the futon. I untied his hakamas and shoved them past his hips. He laid me down and undid my obi. He put my fang next to the futon and pulled my dirks and laid them next to my other weapon. I untied my bottoms and he helped me out of my haori and kosode. He next moved and pulled my hakamas down. I kicked my shoes off and he lowered his lips to my chest and took a nipple into his mouth and suckled it gently. I arched my back and moaned. I raised my head and looked at him.

“Let me take you.” I whispered.

He looked at me and nodded. I sat up and gently pushed him back and lowered my lips and flicked my tongue against a flat nipple. He watched me and I sucked on the nipple and he sighed in pleasure. I pressed my body to his and kissed him feverishly. I lowered myself onto him slowly. I wanted to feel him beneath me and I started moving slowly to make him as feverish as I was. Spasms of joy shot through me and I did not feel like the empty vessel. His hands grabbed my rear in an almost painful grip and I rotated my hips and he nearly came up off the futon.

“You liked that?” I asked in a sultry tone.

“Hai.” He gasped as I did it again.

I leaned forward and scraped my claws against his chest and I forcefully tightened myself around him. I ground against him slowly then I slowly withdrew him from me.

“What are you doing?” he groaned.

I stared up at him and my eyes had gone red. I lowered my lips to his staff and ran my tongue over the head and Naraku groaned. I ran my tongue down his length and nipped him at his base.

“Kami Asuna.” He ground out.

I licked at his manhood and ran my tongue flat back up his length. I took him into my mouth entirely and bobbed my head. I heard him growling and I grasped his sack and a guttural sound escaped his lips.

“I want to be inside of you now!” he cried.

I lifted my head and I slinked up his body. He flipped me beneath him and he entered swiftly and hard. He snaked a hand between us and began lightly massage my nub and I groaned. He lowered his lips to neck and sucked and gently bit the sensitized flesh. My powers flared as they had come to almost always do and he moaned my name. His thrusts were hard and unhurried and I pushed my hips against his. He lifted his lips to mine and took possession of them in a sensual slide and exploration. I was so lost in the sensations that the pain abated for a moment and my breathing increased and my yoki pressed down on us both. His eyes widened and I sucked on his lower lip. He slowed his pace and pulled out slowly then snapped his hips hard. I hissed in pleasure as he hit a sensitive spot and repeated the motion and I squirmed beneath him. He increased the pressure on my clit and I moaned out his name over and over. He ran his tongue along my jaw until he reached my neck and he bit into me and I came hard and suddenly. He groaned as my walls tightened and constricted him and he thrust harder into me. My power pressed down harder and mixed and mingled with his own and he panted under the onslaught. He thrust three more times and stiffened and released his seed and cried out as he did so. He lowered himself carefully but kept us still joined. He kissed my forehead, eyelids, nose, and then lips. I took his hand and pressed it to my lower abdomen.

“If we stay still you will feel the pup move a little.” I whispered.

We waited and he felt the stirrings of the life we had created in passion move. His eyes stared at mine and then he kissed me again.

“How long till you birth?” he asked in a whisper.

“A little over five months.” I said stretching.

“You will have finished your revenge by then?” he asked in a serious tone.

“I am hoping.” I said lazily.

“I will take you to Manchuria and come back. That will hasten your trip.” He said.

“Alright.” I agreed.

I looked away then stood up and slowly dressed. When I reached Manchuria then it would be final and Sheng would truly be dead. I had tried to project to him and the Mediou could not be used again. I sighed as I tied my obi. My soul had been tied to Sheng's and I knew it was the same with Naraku. If I passed into the Netherworld then I would see him again. I had developed hatred against most uppyr except my own mother. I was going to make Stasio pay for sending Kyung-Sam to Japan. First I would have to ensconce Sheng's remains amongst his family shrine.

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I was on the outskirts of He Gang and I moved slowly. I dreaded what I had to do but as his mate I had to do it. I carried the elaborate urn that had been inlaid with jade and gold. Tears streamed down my face but not a sound did I make. I approached a beautiful and rather large shrine and I realized he was to be laid to rest with Lord Tekeshi. There was a houshi and I approached.

“I have returned Lord Sheng home. Please lay him to rest amongst his fathers.” I said quietly.

“Lord Sheng is dead?” the houshi said in disbelief.

“Hai. He died in a battle near the Japanese village of Edo and at the foot of Mount Fuji.” I said choking back sobs.

“Who are you?” the houshi asked.

“I am his mate, Lady Asuna of the Western Lands of Japan.” I said looking away.

“Lord Katashi will want to hear this from your lips my Lady.” He said quietly.

“Lay him to rest and then you can accompany me to the Winter Palace.” I commanded.

“Hai my Lady.” He said bowing.

He took the urn from me and I had to look away. I put my shaking hands into the sleeves of my haori and I moved over to a pillar and started sobbing again. I fell to my knees and continued to cry. I was not being strong and I had no will to face the Katashi right now.

“I can bring the Lord here my Lady.” The houshi said.

“Hai.” I said through my tears.

This shrine was on the outskirts of the Palace compound. I was surprised Katashi had not felt my aura but then why would he expect me? The houshi was gone a little over half an hour and I felt his presence along with Katashi's. I was staring off when he came before me.

“How did he die?” he asked quietly.

“Fighting for my family.” I said in a numb tone.

“I thank you for bringing him home.” He said sadly.

“He was due every honor I could give him.” I said stiffly.

“Asuna, stay can we talk?” he asked gently.

“I will stay for a day but I have urgent business in Russia that demands my particular attention.” I said in a hateful voice.

I stood and walked beside my former mate and looked beyond the Palace grounds. I felt hollow again. Sheng was supposed to be here. I would have gladly died in his place.

“How did this battle come to pass?” he asked.

“Kiang shi invaded the islands. The leader had been supposedly betrothed to my mother at one time.” I said tonelessly.

“Damn.” He said.

“Sheng was drained of his blood.” I said starting to shake.

“Asuna!” he said pulling me into a hug.

I stiffened in his arms and he looked down at me.

“He was my brother and I loved him. I mourn with you on his passing. I only intend that and no more. You father left me with quite an impression and I do not intend to repeat that mistake.” He said sadly.

“My father and I are not on speaking terms.” I said looking away.

“What?” he asked surprised.

“It does not matter why. I am tying up loose ends.” I said shrugging.

“You are hollow right now.” He said lifting my chin.

“I am living for my sons.” I said stiffly.

“They were not mine were they?” he asked suddenly.

“Katashi I will not do this. I have made terrible mistakes and I will not hurt you further or myself.” I said angry.

“Did you ever love me?” He asked.

“I still do.” I said sighing.

“Why?” he asked in a pained voice.

“I have no good reason for my behavior. I am sorry you got caught up with me.” I muttered.

“Who was the youki with you in Kyoto?” he asked.

“Katashi let us not do this.” I said flushing in anger.

“What am I going to do Asuna? Nothing! Let us finally be honest with one another.” He said shortly.

“He is a hanyou.” I said noncommittally.

“Onna answer the question!” he snapped.

“He is Naraku.” I hissed.

“The dark hanyou? I thought he was dead!” he exclaimed.

“He is alive.” I confirmed.

“Why?” he asked in shock.

“It is a long and complicated story and I do not feel the need to indulge your curiosity.” I said quietly.

“I see.” He said in anger.

“I am only here to lay my mate to rest. I cannot change the past Katashi but I am sorrowful of the pain I have caused you.” I said shaking.

He pulled me to him and held me to him. I started to cry again and he just held me. He picked me up and took me to Sheng's old chambers. He laid me on the bed and went and sat at the desk. I fell asleep as exhaustion overtook me.

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I awoke after sunset and looked around. Katashi was sleeping in a very European style arm chair. I stood up and stretched and looked around Sheng's old room. I was overwhelmed with memories and I walked past Katashi and out of the room. I was fleeing the palace as fast as I could. I had made it to the gardens and Katashi came up behind me and spun me around.

“Unhand me! I cannot stay here. I cannot handle the memories.” I cried.

“Sheng would not want you to lose yourself Asuna! He died like he lived his life; with honor! Honor him now and do not run away!” he hissed.

“Have you realized that as much as I try that I have no honor? Have you not guessed that my uppyr side dominates me? I am no better than those damn beasts that I slew at Fuji!” I screamed.

“You are as much inu as you are uppyr. Stop fighting who you are, you only muddy the waters further when you do.” He commanded.

“I need to finish avenging Sheng. I cannot stay here any longer.” I said jerking away.

“You have my fang in aid to destroy your enemy. He was my brother and friend.” He said strongly.

I considered his offer and nodded slowly. Stasio would stand no chance against two taiyouki.

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The weather was cold and wet. My mood was already miserable but I kept moving. Katashi and I had reformed a strong friendship and it pleased me beyond measure. There was love no doubt but it seemed he needed to respect what Sheng and I had. Novgorod stood in the distance and Katashi and I both wrinkled our noses at the obnoxious smells.

“He is an arrogant and nasty bugger.” I muttered.

“Your grandsire?” he asked.

“Hai. He thinks we inu youki are beneath him. They drain the blood of mortal and immortal alike and we are beneath them.” I snorted.

“Well nothing like a hunt is there?” he asked grinning.

“I burned the flesh from the bones of the kiang shi in Japan.” I said cruelly.

“That is one way to get rid of an uppyr.” He laughed.

I led the way into the city and spied the large house that housed my mother's birth family. Mortals had tales and stories of all youki. Sometimes they embellished us with greater power or abilities than we possessed. They tried to explain our existence by myth and lore. Uppyr or kiang shi were known as many names. They were not plentiful but one of the more truly frightening youki. Most of their power lay in their minds and that in of itself could be more frightening than any fang or poison. They tended to congregate in Europe mostly for whatever reason. There had been an infamous and terrible uppyr that had lived two centuries before, his name was Vlad. I was not sure if he still lived and I really had no wish to see if he did. Naraku looked like a saint compared to this creature. I was not overly fond of most ningens but I would not harm innocent ones. I went to the house and knocked on the door. The same nasty uppyr female that had answered before did so again.

“Da?” she asked narrowing her eyes at me.

“Tell your master that Lady Asuna has arrived.” I said with disdain lacing through my voice.

“Wait there dog daemon.” She said in a disgusted voice.

“Anya who is there?” a voice said from the back of the staircase.

A male uppyr came forward that I knew instantly was a relation. He had similar features to my mother. His hair was just as black and he had a very neatly trimmed goatee. He was as tall as I was and his eyes actually looked kind. I narrowed my eyes at him and he looked surprised.

“Who are you?” he asked.

“It matters not who I am uppyr. Where is Stasio?” I said in a hiss.

“Stasio is in Moscow.” The male answered.

I looked at Katashi and cursed in Japanese. The longer I was gone the more anxious Naraku would become and it would become evident I was pregnant.

“What do you want with cousin Stasio?” the male said.

“That does not concern you as we are leaving now.” I said in a nasty tone.

“If you answer my questions then I may be of help to you inu.” He said looking at me.

“How do you know what I am?” I asked him.

“I speak Japanese quite well and dog is inu in Japanese?” he said with a smirk.

“Who are you?” I asked him.

“I am Fillip.” He said bowing.

“Asuna.” I said flatly.

“You are the daughter of the traitor as cousin Stasio likes to say.” He said perusing me.

Katashi started growling and I put my hand up to stop him.

“My mother is no traitor and your cousin is a dead man.” I whispered.

“How can I help?” he whispered back.

I stared at him in surprise and he laughed at my obvious surprise.

“Come. I have a small house of my own. Viktor had needed my advice so now I go.” He said grabbing a long coat.

He went out the door and Katashi and I followed at a short distance.

I could have spoken to Katashi in inu but barks and growls would have truly drawn too much attention.

“How can you trust him?” Katashi asked me in Manchu.

“I do not really.” I answered.

-You will come to trust me. - Fillip thought to me.

I looked up at the male uppyr and stopped walking. I stared at him with a furious expression.

“Asuna?” Katashi questioned.

“Do not path to me unless you know me.” I said in a fury.

“It is more natural no?” Fillip asked.

“No!” I seethed.

“You are a powerful telepath.” He observed.

“You assume too much familiarity sir. I only allow close family to converse with me that way.” I snapped.

“We are technically related. We are third cousins.” He said smirking.

“Can you help me or not? I do not have time to waste.” I said angrily.

“Da I can help you.” He said.

He turned on his heel and snow crunched under his feet. We entered a small but opulent house. The house was furnished in velvets and brocades. I preferred the airy and open feeling of the islands.

“You will need to change your clothing if you are to get close. Stasio is at the court of the Czar.” He said as he shut the door.

“You expect me to wear a petticoat and a farthingale?” I said raising a silver brow.

Katashi snorted in amusement and Fillip looked quite serious.

“Da. Daemons are not out in the open as they are in Asia.” He said seriously.

“How would you explain my marks of heritage and my ears?” I asked amused.

“Your ears could be covered by your hair and we could say that your marks are tattoos.” He said shrugging.

“Why are you helping me?” I asked.

“Because there are those of us who have no wish to be apart of the evil he represents.” He said looking at me.

“You are like my mother.” I said in understanding.

“Cousin Viktor is on the fence. He admires his sister for leaving but cannot seem to face his own fear of castigation.” Fillip said.

“Stasio will die by my hand you realize.” I said.

“I will gladly help you. Torture has a way of making someone hate you.” He said with pain in his eyes.

“I am sorry.” I said with genuine sorrow.

“No worries. The Czar is not a strong one and the lower Princes are vying for power.” He said.

“I will not wear the western costumes but I can dress as the foreign royal that I am.” I said.

“I think that you could get closer if you looked less threatening.” He said shaking his head.

“Have you seen a formal kimono?' I asked laughing.

I turned to Katashi and he knew immediately what I wanted.

“You want to me to procure you clothing.” He said smirking.

“Hai. You are the Lord from the continent.” I said laughing.

“It is good to see you smile.” He said in a low tone.

“I have purpose.” I said back.

“Give me a few days. I know where the silk routes are.” He said bowing.

“Thank you Katashi.” I said with genuine warmth.

Katashi exited the dwelling and I turned to Fillip, he was openly staring at me.

“Have I grown an extra head?” I asked irritated.

“No, I was just wondering why you hated him so.” He asked as he sat upon a low chair.

“His actions led to the death of my beloved mate.” I said stiffly.

“Revenge.” He said nodding.

“Hai. My mate was a quarter uppyr and as I am half we had a unique bond.” I said as I seated myself.

“You were soul mates.” He said.

“Hai.” I answered.

“I am very sorry indeed. The void will get easier, it is just the first few years that are bad.” He replied.

“You know about it?” I asked.

“I live it.” He said shrugging.

“That is why you hate him!” I said in complete understanding.

“He murdered my soul mate. Very few uppyr actually take a mate of the soul. It is so damaging when and if they leave us.” He said looking away.

“He will suffer greatly at my hands.” I said touching his arm.

“Oh I will help you in ending his miserable life.” He said in a sudden anger.

“What was her name?” I asked.

“Karina.” He stated.

“Sheng was my mate's name. Katashi was his adopted brother.” I explained.

“He loves you as well.” He said.

“That is a long and complicated story and I am very tired. It took a tremendous amount of yoki to reach Russia in a hurry.” I said yawning.

“Yoki? Explain this word.” He said.

“Physical manifestation of a youki's power.” I said.

“Da, I understand.” He said.

“Can you show me a room?” I asked with a smile.

“Da I am sorry for my rudeness.” he laughed as he stood.

I stood up and followed him up a staircase. He opened a door and I moved past him. I looked into his eyes and knew the pain I saw mirrored there.

“When are you due?” he asked.

“You can sense it?” I asked surprised.

“Da.” He replied.

“Five to six moon cycles.” I answered.

“It will get easier. The pain is too raw for you right now but I promise it does get easier.” He said backing away.

“Why did he kill her?” I asked in a tortured whisper.

“Because I fell in love with her. She was not his choice for a powerful uppyr.” He said in anger.

“How long ago?” I asked.

“Ten years. I have been biding my time.” He said shrugging.

“I care not if you path to me.” I said in a quiet voice.

“Thank you.” He said bowing.

MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM

I had been at his home for almost a week and I had come to know him better.

“It cannot be comfortable!” he said laughing.

I smirked at my distant cousin. In a short time I had come to respect and enjoy his company. His personality was very similar to my mother that it was eerie.

“A corset and farthingale are much better?” I asked snorting.

I was wearing a floor length formal kimono of bronze. There were silver finches and sakura trees embroidered all over the back and on the shoulders. The obi was silver also and I had to give Katashi credit and admit how beautiful it was. My former mate sat and watched me model the kimono.

“You found one of the most beautiful kimonos that I have ever seen Katashi.” I said happily.

“I know how rarely you wear one.” He laughed.

“You do not dress in state?” Fillip asked surprised.

“No your cousin here is a warrior princess. Her father is the strongest inu known and he is a Lord. She is known as a lady but she will inherit her father's titles and lands if he abdicates or passes on.” Katashi answered.

“I see. Well dear cousin I have never seen a woman wield a sword.” Fillip said impressed.

“Throw me my fang Fillip.” I said pointing to my blade.

He picked it up and handed it to me. I pulled it from its sheath and I whirled on Katashi. He blocked it with his own. There was a look I recognized and I brought my fang down and it struck his own with a loud clang.

“We need to spar more often.” I commented.

“It has indeed been too long.” He replied.

I quickly resheathed my fang and bowed to the Manchu Lord. He bowed to me and we looked at Fillip and he clapped at our little display.

“Well I am assuming you will remove Stasio's head with that beautiful sword.” He replied.

“Hai.” I responded.

I grew dizzy and sat down.

-Is your baby alright? - He thought to me.

-Pup…it is a pup and yes it is ok. I think the hanyou is trying to talk me. - I thought in surprise.

-Hanyou? - He thought in askance.

-Half youki and half ningen. - I thought.

-I am going to lie down. I normally can project to him. - I thought.

-You can astral project? - He thought in utter shock.

-Hai! - I pathed back.

I stood and bowed and took to the stairs. I went into the room and lay on the huge bed. I closed my eyes and almost immediately I appeared to Naraku.

-You wished to speak? - I asked in a tired thought.

“I just wished to see if you were alright. The mutt is leaving you alone?” he asked.

-Hai. We are all behaving. - I thought sarcastically.

“Asuna I will come and tear anyone limb from limb. You know I will!” he threatened.

-How are my sons? - I thought changing the subject.

`Tearing the castle up. I have set up a barrier outside so they can tear up the forest and not my things.” He said smirking.

-I am sorry my love. They are male inu and overly rambunctious. They will settle in a few years. - I thought grimacing.

“They enjoy their true forms it seems. Kazuo bit me yesterday.” He said amused.

-You still wish for many pups? - I asked laughing in his head.

“Ours will not have so much inu in them.” He replied.

-I will be headed to Moscow this very day. I have run into a distant cousin who hates Stasio as much as I. - I responded.

“Keep me informed and let me know if you need my assistance. The twins are well and your father has made no moves as of yet.” He said.

-Hai! - I thought.

I woke up and smiled. The boys were not afraid and that was good. I felt a pang of pain and stood up. I could not continue to wallow in my pain and the loss of Sheng. Katashi was right and I knew Sheng had given his life in what he thought was an honorable pursuit. Naraku had slowly changed and opened up to me and I could not love the hanyou more. He still was secretive and morose but I could handle it as long as I had his heart. There was a knock on the door and I opened it. Fillip stood there and I motioned for him to come in.

“The carriage will be here in two hours. I have written to my connections at court and Stasio is there doing what he does best.” He said.

“Thank you. We will avenge Karina and Sheng together.” I said searching his brown eyes.

“I could love you so easily.” He murmured as he stepped back.

“Fillip!” I called after him.

He had left the room and I stared after him dumbfounded. I followed him to his room and grabbed his shoulder.

“You do not know me! I am a pestilence on those I love. I have wrought nothing but pain and suffering these past two years.” I cried.

“I can say what I think Asuna it does make it reality or fact.” He replied.

“Do not think it but thinking leads to things and I will not follow any more folly!” I hissed.

“Do you not think it folly killing your own grandfather?” he asked.

“It is justice! It will be done for my dead mate as well as yours.” I said shaking my head.

“You will be hated and shunned as well as I. That is folly but you and I will do it nonetheless.” He said shrugging.

“You and I must remain as we are.” I stated.

“I am sorry if I offended you with my declaration. I speak only of my truths and feelings. You Asian youki types are very offended easily.” He said staring at me.

“I only remind you of my short comings and they are many.” I said flatly.

“Short comings are normal. I have not had to grow up in the shadow of two great daemons. It must have been hard.” He replied.

“You are too much like her you know!” I snapped.

“I never had the pleasure of meeting Augusta Elizaveta. She was quite the celebrity by the time I was born.” He said smiling.

“You have the same unswerving optimism. You see the good in almost everything and you believe me to be something I am not.” I cried.

“I could love you Asuna, I said again. Condemn me!” he said as his eyes flashed.

“I will be ready when the carriage arrives.” I said bowing.

I turned away and fled to my room. He must be lonely was the reason. I had seen his mate's portrait and she had been lovely. Her face had been kind and that suited him. I was not kind and I intended to show him how ferocious a creature I could be.

MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM

I sent Katashi on back to He Gang for now and he was not happy about it but did as I asked. I had proven I could maintain a non physical relationship with him and I was happy about it. I truly had wronged him as he had wronged me. I was wearing a white and blue haori and hakamas for the trip to Moscow. Fillip stared at me then shook his head and met me at the door.

“Your warrior outfits leave little to the imagination.” He said flippantly.

“And having my breasts fall out of a bodice is any better?” I retorted.

“It is almost indecent is what I am saying.” He replied blushing.

“Because you can see the outline of my legs? I am more than covered Fillip, please!” I snorted.

“I wish you would at least try and wear a dress.” He said staring at me.

“No. I am bringing formal kimonos and that is all. What is the point of the farthingale? I will not wear a dress!” I snapped.

“Every man will stare at you and I have no wish for any extra attention.” He snapped back.

“Send your clothing and such on in the carriage. Moscow is not that far. I will take us.” I replied.

“How?” he asked narrowing his eyes.

“Send your trunks as well as mine and I will show you.” I said crossing my arms across my chest.

He left through the front door and I heard the carriage pull away. I walked outside and joined him. My hair was loose and it blew gently in the wind.

“Take my hand. This will make you dizzy no doubt.” I said.

He put his hand in mine and I transformed us into my sphere of light and moved us. Moscow was within fifty miles and I could reach that in a matter of half an hour. I transformed us back and Fillip stepped back and stared at me.

“How??” he asked in shock.

“It is one of my abilities as an inu. I have a true form also.” I said looking at him.

“Your true form is?” he asked.

“I am inu Fillip.” I said laughing.

“You can truly change into a dog?” he asked with his eyes widening.

“Hai. I am half inu and half uppyr.” I said straightening myself to my full height.

“Come let us go to my house in the city.” He said.

“What is your title?” I asked suddenly.

“A minor duchy.” He said shrugging.

“What is your title?” I snapped.

“I am the Count of Samara.” He snapped back.

“Was that hard?” I asked in amusement.

“No but do not remind me of it!” he snarled at me.

I had unknowingly touched a nerve and I cocked my head to the side and looked at him. He was in turmoil that I could see and I came closer to him. I touched his smooth cheek with a claw and tried to make him look at me.

“I am sorry for pressing you.” I whispered.

“You know nothing about it so do not worry on it.” He said sighing.

“You hate your life.” I observed.

“I do.” He confirmed.

He was trying not to look at me and I tried to make him and he grabbed my wrist. His strength was incredible and he pushed my hand away. He pulled me forward by the back of my neck and his lips ghosted mine.

“Please do not force me into looking at you.” He whispered.

His lips had touched mine though barely and I could not think. I closed my eyes at the unintended intimacy and I tried to jerk away. He let me go and left to head into the city. I followed behind him and I still could not think. My distant cousin was dangerous to me and I would need to leave as soon as I could.

I followed him as he entered a very large townhouse. It was surrounded with gilded columns and marble statues. It was beautiful in a very gothic and oppressive way. He opened the door with a key and we entered.

“Everything is so dark here.” I commented.

“We are land locked and do not live on islands.” He retorted.

“I am sorry Fillip!” I said sensing his mood.

“There is a bath in the main hall.” He said ignoring me.

“Fillip please!” I cried.

“You are not the only one who has suffered and is fighting yourself.” He replied.

“I know that but you have had more time with it.” I said stupidly.

He pressed me against the door and I saw his black hair had blue tints in the soft candle light. His skin was pale and his eyes were the color sable fur. My eyes were drawn to his lips and noticed they had the same pouty quality as my mother and Osamu. His face was beautiful and kind at the same time. He wore a brocade vest over a white billowy shirt. His dark hair was pulled back at the nape of his neck and I could tell that it was probably jaw length. He saw me as I studied him.

“Stop it.” He demanded.

“Stop what? You are the one that has me pushed up against the door.” I said lightly.

“Stop looking at me as though I was a piece of choice beef.” He snarled in a low tone.

“I am a predator, it is what I do.” I retorted.

“I am a predator as well.” He replied thickly.

He licked his lips and I was mesmerized but managed to keep my wits about me. We were feeling our hormones and I grunted to get his attention.

“How soon till the carriage gets here with our clothes?” I asked nonchalantly.

“Several hours.” He said releasing me.

“I assume you leave some clothing at this residence?” I asked.

“Da.” He answered.

“I will take that bath. Might I borrow a shirt and perhaps a dressing gown?” I asked him.

“Da. I will leave it in the bathroom.” He replied.

I nodded at him and he left me and went up the steps to the second floor. I went up to the bathroom as he called it and there was a large marble tub. There was a faucet and I assumed that there was hot and cold water piped into the room. I stripped out of my heavy silk hakamas and haori followed by the light silk kosode. The door opened and I turned my head and saw Fillip with the requested items. His face betrayed his shock as seeing me there so quickly.

-You can close your mouth now. - I pathed to him.

He closed his mouth and he dropped the clothes and left. I smirked at his shyness all of a sudden and I figured he must be an only child as well. Rin, Osamu, and I would all bathe together as small pups. Rin was ten when were born and it just was never that big of a deal. I went over and threw on the dressing gown and tied it at my waist. It was made for a man with no hips and it was a stretched across my hips and breasts. I figured it would work until my own clothes arrived. I went into the hall and scented his location. He was in a room three doors down. I knocked on the door and slipped in. He was lying on his bed and he sat up.

“Asuna you are half naked!” he said admonishing me.

“So?” I retorted.

“This is not appropriate.” He said coming closer.

“What is not appropriate about this? I am covered and so are you.” I said.

“God woman get out!” he snapped.

“Why? I hurt you somehow and I need to know what I did. I have come to respect you since I have been here.” I said honestly.

“It is not your job to take care of my feelings and I have my own ghosts to speak of. Now will you get out?” he said.

“Tell me what bothers you so. I normally only wear something like this in Japan and it is appropriate.” I said.

“You are a devastating beautiful creature. You need to leave.” He demanded.

“Not until you tell me why you were so upset before we entered the city.” I commanded him.

“I was made a Duke after I married Karina.” He said looking away.

“Alright I will leave you now.” I said backing up.

He came up just as I was opening his door and touched my bare neck. There was the scar of my mating mark with Sheng.

“Do you mark your mates?” I asked as he touched it.

“No. We take their blood of course but not like this.” He said tracing the scar with a claw.

I tried to stop the moan that escaped my mouth but could not.

“That brings you pleasure?” he asked surprised.

“Hai.” I said.

“Your neck is littered with these small scars.” He said.

“My mother had to mark me to save my life and the mottled scar is from my failed first mating.” I said as he traced each scar.

I groaned again at the intimacy.

“I am sorry. It is very different among uppyr.” He said dropping his hand. I looked up at the ceiling and noticed a medallion in the center of it.

“Inu take blood but just not large amounts of it. We prefer raw meat.” I said.

“You should enjoy the blood letting.” He whispered.

“I do.” I shivered.

“You should take your bath. I have recalled the servants and they should be here soon.” He said backing away from me.

“How long has it been for you since you rutted?” I asked.

“Asuna!” he snapped.

“I am sorry for the impertinence, I am a curious creature.” I said honestly.

“I have touched no other since Karina was murdered.” He said with clenched teeth.

“Ten years?” I asked surprised.

“It is nothing.” He snapped.

“You are right. I am being rude.” I said opening the door and exiting.

I went down the hall and went to the bathroom and dropped the dressing gown to the floor. I slipped into the tub and turned on the faucets. I leaned back and relaxed in the warmth. I fantasized about beheading Stasio and I had a smirk on my face. I felt the flutters of the pup and I smiled wider. I closed my eyes and did not think or feel much. I heard a small knock and smiled.

“Come in.” I called.

Fillip came in but with his head turned. I laughed lightly at his modesty and I heard him growl.

“Throw me a drying cloth so I can cover up.” I said.

He did as I asked and he handed me a cloth but kept his head turned.

“You said you could love me yet you will not even look at me.” I said laughing.

“I am trying to go by your wishes as well as my own.” He said thinly.

“I am covered Fillip. You have seen a female body before.” I said rolling my eyes.

He turned and stared at my face.

“Stasio will be at court in the morning. How quickly did you wish to kill him?” he asked.

“The sooner the better.” I muttered.

“Alright then. Your trunks should be here by morning.” He said standing.

“Look at me.” I commanded.

I stood and kept the cloth wrapped around me. He stared at me with his warm brown eyes and I looked into his eyes. I put my hand on his cheek.

-Let me see your thoughts.-I prompted him in thought.

-Asuna no! This is too personal remember?- he pathed back.

I pressed his mind but only went as far as his shields allowed. I saw a fleeting image of me for a moment then I saw Karina in the throes of passion.

“Oh.” I said almost inaudibly.

“No more!” he said breathing raggedly.

“She was very lovely. You loved her most passionately.” I said staring at his face.

“Da. I did. I do not wish to think on this anymore.” He said pulling away.

“You want me lying beneath you.” I said raising a brow.

“Why are you doing this? Stop!” he snarled at me.

“You understand the pain. You feel what I feel. How do you make the coldness go away?” I asked.

“You live.” He said.

I touched his cheek again and lightly ran my claws along the bone till I reached his jaw.

“I will not be able to stop myself if you do not stop touching me.” He ground out.

I looked at his pouty mouth and leaned forward and ran my tongue along his lower lip. He let out a repressed growl and crashed his lips against mine. Jolts of delicious desire shot through my core. I slipped my tongue into his mouth and started exploring it. I reached up and undid his hair. He had pulled the cloth away from my body and I went to undoing his shirt. I growled at the buttons and tore it open. He gasped in surprise as the fabric ripped. I pushed the fabric off his shoulders and saw his defined muscles.

“Take these pants off.” I growled into his ear.

“Asuna! God we must stop.” He said backing away from me.

I rolled my eyes and stood up. I walked around him and grabbed the dressing gown and put it on.

“Let me know when my clothes arrive.” I said over my shoulder.

I was not going to beg another male to make love to me ever. He could have his self recrimination and I could have mine. I went into a bedroom that he had designated as mine and I slammed the door. I went to the bed and shed the dressing gown and lay on the bed. I covered my nude body with a light blanket. I was going to kill Stasio in the morning and be done with this wretchedly cold place. I heard my door open and looked up from my pillow. Fillip came next to the bed and lowered his lips to mine. I accepted the kiss hungrily and he settled next to me. He planted kisses along my jaw and neck and I groaned. I looked into his face and he sighed.

“I had not planned for this to happen.” He whispered.

“I do not feel the void as much when you touch me, that makes it worth it to me.” I whispered back.

He lifted my head and devoured my lips again. I closed my eyes and felt passion and let it overcome me. He pulled the blanket from my body and began kissing and licking his way down my chest. He pulled me up with his hands on my upper back and brought my chest closer to lips and started flicking his tongue back and forth between both nipples and I cried out. He would suckle one then the other and I arched my back.

“Kamis!” I cried out.

He eyed me and I groaned. He laid me back down and kissed a trail down my stomach. He flicked his tongue into my belly button and placed open mouthed kisses on my abdomen above my center. He parted my nether lips and lazily dragged a finger along my clitoris and I gasped. He bent down and licked along my core and nub. He then flicked the tip of his tongue over my clit over and over. My hips bucked and he placed his hands on them to keep me from moving. He started to suck then tongue my clitoris over and over and I was throwing my head side to side. He took one hand from my hip and slowly inserted it into my core and I cried out lustfully. He added another finger and slowly moved them in and out. I closed my eyes as I was teetering on the edge of orgasm and I felt his teeth nibble and gently bite my clit and I screamed as I was thrown over a blissful edge. Fillip tasted my release then slowly slid back up my body and kissed me. I devoured his mouth and tasted my own juices. I opened my eyes and looked at him. They were red and he looked surprised.

“Tell me what is happening.” he whispered as he slowly removed his breeches.

“This is normal. I have a primal self as well as a conscious self.” I breathed.

“I see. Do you still want me to enter you?” he asked searching my eyes.

“Kami hai!” I growled.

“Alright.” He said licking my ear.

I looked down and saw his naked and pale flesh. My breathing grew faster and I reached down and touched his staff. I grasped it and watched him suck in his breath. His face contorted in pleasure and I could see the strain in his face.

“I want you so badly right now.” I groaned.

“Da, I need you.” He said in a strained whisper.

“Just take me then!” I snapped.

He nodded and I moved my hand and he parted my legs. He slid into me slowly and I groaned.

“Gods Asuna.” He cried into my neck.

“Move within me.” I growled.

“So perfect. So warm.” He murmured.

I was coming undone again as he muttered his small utterances. I thrust against him and groaned. I was seeing red and he was killing me in his gentleness. I bared my fangs and sank them into his wrist. He shouted out and increased his speed. I wrapped my legs around him and met him thrust for thrust. I threw my head back and growled fiercely. He thrust quicker and I could tell he was trying to control himself. I entered his mind and caressed it with own and he stiffened and spilled himself into me. He looked down and smiled at me.

“You act both of your heritages.” He said.

“Hai. I am a mixed breed.” I said jokingly.

“Thank you for that.” He whispered.

“We both are in need of healing.” I said looking up at him.

“Da.” He said lying next to me.

“Tomorrow we kill Stasio.” I said yawning.

“Finally.” He muttered.

“Sleep now.” I said.

We both fell asleep and I was relaxed. It helped to have someone close that had gone through the same thing as I had.

MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM

I was awake but not awake. I was at the Western Palace and I saw my father putting on his armor and his fangs. He was talking to Yuudai about finding the half breed and I knew that Naraku was in danger; which meant my sons were in danger. My father had thought I had lost my mind to grief and it had been my heart.

-Father no! - I screamed in what I thought was my dream or vision.

Lord Sesshomaru heard his daughter's voice in his head and he saw her in a corner of his study. She was not solid and very transparent.

“Are you dead?” he asked in shock.

-No. I am not. - I said in his head.

“What is going on?” he asked narrowing his eyes.

-Naraku is not to blame. I am my Lord! He loves me. - I thought to him.

“It will not continue. You are my daughter! How dare he put his filthy hanyou hands on you!” he snarled.

-I will not allow you to harm him. I love him too. - I cried.

“You truly have lost your mind. How did you think this was going to play out? Did you think we all would be happy?” he snapped and his eyes had bled red.

I saw my mother practically fly into the study and saw me in my astral form.

“Asuna!” she cried.

-Explain it to him mother. Tell him why he cannot kill Naraku. - I cried in both of their minds.

“Her pup needs its father.” Augusta replied softly.

My father turned on my mother and howled in anger.

“You knew of this depravity?” he yelled at her.

“He saved this pup and Asuna. He is not the same Sesshomaru.” my mother said standing her ground.

“You both have lost your minds!” he snapped.

“Was there not a time you would kill anything just as look at it? Was it not Rin that helped open your eyes?” Augusta implored.

“Magatushi raped you Augusta! If it had not been for Naraku then that would not have happened.” He snarled again.

“If it had not been for Naraku then we would not have met and he saved Asuna numerous times. He saved her from a downfall amongst the youki courts.” She snapped back.

“How long have you two been betraying this house?” he said ready to strike my mother.

“I have never betrayed you Sesshomaru. Asuna did not either. Naraku was a fledgling youki when he started the Shikon no Tama debacle. He is not as young as he used to be and he is not the same.” Augusta cried.

“You will birth this pup and we will see if we can save it from him. No child of this house will ever acknowledge that filth as sire! You will return to this house if I have to drag you kicking and screaming.” He snarled at me.

-You will not harm this pup or its father. - I screamed in his head.

“I will not harm the pup. I think that if Naraku thinks he will have a piece of this house then he is sadly mistaken.” He snapped.

“You are going to keep him from his pup!” Augusta accused.

“I will not kill Naraku if you return home and never see him again.” He said crossing his arms over his chest.

“Sesshomaru!” Augusta yelled.

I looked at my father and slowly nodded. I disappeared and I awoke with a start. Tears streamed down my face and I sobbed again.