InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ I Choose You ❯ You Love Her ( Chapter 1 )

Disclaimer: I do not own Inu-Yasha [which I think everyone knows already]

I hope that you will enjoy this story. I wasn‘t certain how this would go when I wrote it, but I think it turned out nicely.   I Choose You Chapter One: You Love Her

Inu-Yasha stared into the luminous glow of the fire. He could not find sleep tonight. His thoughts kept sleep away, roiling in his overactive mind. Today had been too much, too much for even the mighty hanyou. He could not think straight for the chaos in his head. One thought surfaced again and again. She was not here.

They had heard rumours of a jewel shard in an abandoned temple. Supposedly, a rogue deity had claimed that temple as his fortress. Not much was known of the being, save that he had been exiled to the mortal plane, his immortality extinguished. It was said that he had raged at those who had banished him for months, causing storms and plagues upon the nearby villages. The temple, which had once been dedicated to him, was abandoned to his keeping, though a few monks had taken up service with the dark deity.

Inu-Yasha had scoffed at this rumour, but as they left for the temple, he began to feel an eerie disquiet. The forest around them grew quiet as they drew away from the village. Nothing stirred within the trees. They had paused to consider their approach, but it hadn’t mattered. They never reached the temple.

Inu-Yasha immediately sensed the soul collectors. His eyes went wide in disbelief, but he hesitated for only a moment. Without a word to his companions, he leapt after them, leaving their shouts behind him. Soon, even he could no longer hear the calls of his friends.

He felt her as he drew near. Kikyou. She stood in a slight clearing, surrounded by her servant-collectors. Her dead eyes found his and held him in place. He could do nothing but stare at the woman he had loved so long ago. So many years of restless sleep, plagued by dreams of her piercing his heart. Perhaps that was what Hell was. Inu-Yasha could hardly imagine anything worse.

The hanyou took a tentative step towards the woman he had pledged his life to. Things had changed. He had found a new life, but his past returned to him. There was no way that he could simply abandon his promise for his own selfish desires. He owed his life to Kikyou. Perhaps he could atone by killing Naraku, but that didn’t seem to be enough for Kikyou.

He had hoped to avenge her and return to his newfound life. Now he knew that her grip on him was too tight. He would be held by his past until his death. He was shamefully angry at this. After all, he loved Kikyou. Didn’t he? Did he still love her? Had he betrayed her so utterly that he no longer felt the love they had once shared?

Sadness filled his eyes. And shame. He reached Kikyou and stood before her, unable to bring words from his throat. He knew suddenly what he wanted to say, but he could not utter it. He could not bring himself to break his honour any more than he had already done. He was a man, and he would stand by his vows no matter how much his heart cried out to abandon them.

Chilly arms wrapped around his waist as Kikyou brought him into her embrace. “Inu-Yasha.” Her cold eyes found his again and he ignored his desire to break her hold. He could offer her his comfort, at least. But would that be fair, as hollow as it was? Inu-Yasha could not answer that.

He put his own arms slowly about her, holding her close to him. He could almost imagine that they were still together, preparing for a life with one another. But his treasonous heart kept pushing another face before his eyes. Kikyou seemed to take comfort from his embrace, however, oblivious to his emotional turmoil.

He had loved her. He knew it to be true. Inu-Yasha did not believe that such a feeling could be erased by time, even by his own death. Why did he not feel it then? Oh, he loved Kikyou, even now, but he did not feel it in her embrace. Her presence invoked no feelings of love, only his shame and responsibility. What was it that was different. Could she really have changed him so much?

Kikyou brought her lips to his, finally noticing his disquiet as he drew away slightly. She frowned, a look of frustration and anger. No hurt, really. Something was wrong, but Inu-Yasha could not quite place it. His insides twisted when she spoke the words he feared to hear. “Do you love her more than me, Inu-Yasha?”

He could not answer. The only thought running through his head was ‘yes’. His eyes betrayed him. Fury filled the miko, yet it was a fury devoid of passion. She pushed him away angrily, almost as if it had been he pressing his attentions on her. “Go to your bitch, Inu-Yasha. You do not love me. You have failed in every promise you made to me. You let Naraku murder me. You have abandoned me for a worthless copy. A whoresome imitation! Go, Inu-Yasha. I do not wish to see you again.”

She abruptly turned away, her soul collectors gathering about her. “Go and live your wretched life with your whore, Inu-Yasha. Your life of broken promises. How many promises will you make to her? Will you keep any?” Inu-Yasha could only stare after her as she was lifted away to disappear into the quickly darkening horizon.

When Inu-Yasha finally made his way back to the others, they had set up camp, awaiting his return. Miroku was leaning against a tree trunk and looked up as he approached. His look was not warm. Inu-Yasha glanced about to find Sango determinedly polishing Hiraikotsu. Shippou was laying asleep with Kirara. He did not see Kagome anywhere. Inu-Yasha gave Miroku a questioning look, but the monk only gave him a disinterested shrug.

The hanyou growled in displeasure. It would seem that he would get no help from his ‘friends’ so he would have to find Kagome on his own. He sniffed the air gently. Her scent was there. He could never forget her scent. He often found himself dreaming of it, dreaming of her. He followed her trail a short distance into the forest. He smelled her close proximity and slowed his pace.

He had no idea what he would say to her. What could he say? There was nothing he could say to make her understand. He could only try to keep her from getting angry with him. They always fought after Kikyou appeared. This time Inu-Yasha was determined not to let her stay angry at him.

He found her sitting upon a flat rock near the base of a particularly tall tree. She didn’t look up as he approached, but he knew that she sensed his presence. He was yet again at a loss for words. There was so much he could tell her, so much he should tell her, but he could not find the power to bring them out.

Finally, Kagome looked up at him. Tears shone in her eyes. She was crying. Inu-Yasha hated it when she cried. He could not bear to see her in such a state. It caused him more pain than it did her. And he blamed himself for every tear that trickled from her eyes. “Inu-Yasha?”

Finally, he was able to find his voice, but he lost the words. “Kagome…I– ”

“No, don’t, Inu-Yasha. I don’t want to hear it.” She sniffed softly. He ached to hold her, to comfort her. “You…You love her.”

Inu-Yasha was stunned. He hadn’t expected that. Kagome seemed to take his silence as agreement, or as hesitation to hurt her feelings. “I…I don’t want to be in the way, Inu-Yasha. I would never give up on the search for the jewel shards…but I need some time to myself. Some time to think. Please just leave me alone for a while Inu-Yasha. Don’t come for me. When I am ready, I will return on my own.”

That was the last thing she had said to him before she had set out for the well, despite his protests. Kirara had obliged her by carrying her to the well, where she had apparently left him. For how long, he could only guess. But the hurt in her eyes, the pain in her voice, caused him to fear that it would be too long.

And so he stared into the softly crackling fire, alone despite his companions sleeping about him. Without her, he did not feel whole. Without her, he did not care about the jewel. It had been a long day, and he had been miserable the whole time. Even if he had not been so withdrawn, it was obvious that the others were not willing to speak to him. He had screwed up, again. His determination not to hurt Kagome had been for nothing. Would he fail at all of his promises? Even those he made to himself?

Inu-Yasha shifted in his tree, turning away from the soft light of the fire below. He closed his eyes, but found he face before him. Damn. He wouldn’t get any sleep this night. Inu-Yasha sighed, his sad golden eyes staring up at the silver shining Moon. Even the Moon seemed dimmer when she was gone. His world was somehow grayer. The hanyou spent the night, gazing longingly at the night sky, hoping that his world would be bright again soon.

End Chapter One

I actually really like this story. I was bored and read through my fics the other day, and was surprised at home much I enjoyed it. Anyways…I hope I’m not the only one.

-Chevalier Mal Fet