InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ I Like Jelly Donuts ❯ I Like Jelly Donuts ( Chapter 1 )

Disclaimer: I still don't own Inuyasha or this game. Wish I did though.

Here we go again:

( Just to warn you now, even if you made it this far, the second episode is loaded with more nonsense and idiocy than the first one. So those who might even have a mild-like constitution still might want to leave the page immediately. On with the show! )

Announcer: How's it going out there?! "I Am A Jelly Donut" has finally made it into the business. That's right, we are now our own game show! Now here comes our lovely hostess, Kagome!

"Are you all ready to have some fun?!" shouts Kagome.

Audience: Yeah!

"Well, today's your lucky day! Tonight, we will have all our "spies" come on out, and explain to us what exactly happened to them after they were sent down the hatch! So first up, the one who was the first to be kicked out of the game, that jelly donut, Sesshomaru!"

*Sesshomaru walks out with a paper bag over his head*

Audience: *gasp*

"Sesshomaru, what the hell happened to you?"

"Well, it's a long story actually. You see, after falling through that hatch, I ended up back in my apartment. Convenient yes...WRONG! I turn on the T.V, and this stupid commercial comes up talking about getting your makeup tattooed on. They offered a free perm to the first ten customers, so I was out of there in a flash. Unfortunately, I didn't hear the warning. Symptoms include: burnt face, skin removal, and facial skin stretching."

"Oh Sesshomaru, you poor dear, cries Kagome, good thing he doesn't know that it was all set up ahead of time. ( We knew he would go ) So Fluffy, what "bad something" happened to your face?"

"Well you see, none of those symptoms actually happened."

*removes paper bag*

Audience: *gasp…again*

"They just made me too beautiful to look at," cries Sesshomaru.

*runs off the stage bawling*

"I can't be viewed by those not worthy!"

*sweatdrop*

"Okay, I think this calls for a commercial break. Next up, Koga, the fool who gave himself away!"

Commercial Break:

Announcer: Do you use a toilet?

Koga: No…

Announcer: Does it itch a bit going to the bathroom at your cave entrance?

Koga: How does he know?!

Announcer: Well now, no more of that!

Koga: Oookkaa….

Announcer: Come and get a piece of our new "toilet technology," P.O.O.P!

Koga: Now why does P.O.O.P sound familiar?

Announcer: We'll also throw in a free air-conditioner with each purchase!

Koga: I think I'll get me a piece of P.O.O.P. *dials the phone number*

Announcer: ( breaks into song ) Motto - Poop, Crap different!

( And now, back to the show )

"All right ladies and gentlemen, please give a warm welcome to that idiot Koga!" shouts Kagome.

*Koga walks in scratching his ass…again*

"Koga, didn't you lose the game last time by mentioning your mission, which was…scratching yourself?"

"Why yes my dearest Kagome, I suppose I did."

"Please tell us Koga, what fate awaited you after you left the game?"

*Koga runs into a corner, whimpering something about pink elephants*

"That's right ladies and gentlemen, starts Kagome, after he fell down into our pit, Koga encountered several elephants!"

"Keep them away from me!"

"After twenty seconds of research, we discovered that Koga was allergic to elephants."

"Yeah, but pink elephants is another story," whines Koga.

"No Koga, you didn't see pink elephants, you were the pink elephant, and you still look like one too!"

*Koga touches his face, only to find it's as swollen, and as large as a watermelon*

"How could my woman do such a thing to me?!"

"Koga, if I've told you once, I've told you a hundred-thousand times, I am not your woman!" Kagome states while pulling "the lever."

"Folks, Koga has left the building once again, due to his idiocy! Now please give a round of applause for our favorite pervert, Miroku!"

*comes rolling up the stage in a wheelchair*

"Now Miroku, is it true that you were kicked off the set due to sexual harassment?"

"What the hell are you talking about? Me sexually harassing her, try her harassing me!"

"Isn't it true though that you touched her ass for a whole five seconds though?"

"Well yes, but it was when she was pummeling my face into the ground."

"Then you did sexually harass her!"

"No I didn't! It was a complete accident! I was trying to get her off of me, and my hand just "accidentally" slipped below par!"

"Just admit it houshi, you harassed her!" Kagome was getting pissed off now.

"I did not!"

"Did to!"

"Did not!"

"Did to!"

"Did not!"

"Security!"

*a struggling Miroku gets knocked unconscious…again, and gets dragged off the stage*

*Kagome is fuming*

"All right everybody, before I turn into a tomato…again…let's bring out our last "spy" Naraku," explodes Kagome.

*Naraku comes walking out in…a dress?*

"So, what is the ultimate villain, Naraku, doing wearing a dress?"

"Oh it was awful! When you sent me away, I landed in the worst place imaginable…heaven!"

"Yes I do suppose that would be awful for you now wouldn't it?"

"My gosh yes! The place was…nice. *shudders* Fields of flowers littered the sky, and those stupid angels kept me up there for twenty-four hours, dressing me up!"

*Naraku starts shaking*

"Mommy, what did I ever do to deserve such a cruel fate?!"

*runs off stage crying*

*sweatdrop*

"Okay, what's with everyone running off the stage crying in some way? Anyhow, when "I Am A Jelly Donut" returns, we will go backstage, and have personal interview with the "FBI."

( Now, a commercial break )

Commercial Break:

Announcer: Is your life exciting?

Naraku: Pretty exciting for a villain.

Announcer: Would anyone read a biography on your life?

Naraku: Only if they like evil.

Announcer: Come join the army, and help to fight Naraku's Castle!

Naraku: I'm not really interested in destroying my own…

Announcer: Are you ready to protect your country maggot?!

Naraku: Oh shut up! *punches TV* That should do it.

Announcer: Call 1-800-I-need-to-kill-Naraku-the-stupid-bastard-to-gain-my-freedom TODAY! Caution: we are not responsible for any deaths that occur while running this commercial.

( Here comes the show again )

"Ladies and gentlemen, we are now going backstage to talk with the "FBI agents."

"First up, the one who started us off, my incarnation Kikyo!"

*Kikyo walks forth while blowing kisses to everyone*

*the men all swoon*

"So Kikyo, how do you feel about the whole game, "I Am A Jelly Donut?"

"Oh I think it's lovely Kagome! It was just so much fun to see all the "spies" go plop under the ground! Also, that jerk Naraku got put through torture, who could ask for more?"

"If we were to ever do the game again, would you volunteer?"

"Absolutely!"

"All right, now introducing our youngest "FBI agent," Shippo!"

*Shippo walks up, seeming to have developed a tick in his left eye*

"So Shippo, what did you enjoy most about the game?"

"Oh…ummm…I…uhh…think….ahhh… .WAHHHH!"

*Shippo runs out of the room*

"Well, it seems someone had a bit of stage fright, oh well! Next up, Sango!"

*Sango storms in, still fuming after the incident*

"Sango, how do you feel today?" asks Kagome.

"I can't believe that damn pervert! All I was doing was asking him to answer the fucking question, and he answers it with a question! What the hell is up with that?! That stupid, damn, fucking…

~~~~2 hours later~~~~

…blood-thirsty, pervert! Oh sure, it was just an accident! Accident my ass! Who could touch someone "there" on accident! Personally, I'm glad that dumb, ass, crappy…

~~~~another 2 hours later~~~~

…shitty, hentai got knocked out and sent to the hospital!"

*the audience is sleeping*

"All right Sango, it seems our time is almost up, so we're gonna' have to ask you to leave!"

*Kagome shoves Sango out the window*

"Last but not least is our favorite, stupid, hanyou. The dog-demon seeming to have made the biggest improvement in intelligence, Inuyasha!"

*Inuyasha walks in, and trips over the microphone cord*

"What the hell are you all doing in my bedroom?!"

*sweatdrop*

"And, where's my bed?!"

*sweatdrop…again*

"Ummm…Inuyasha…you're on a television show, you know… "I Am A Jelly Donut?"

*Inuyasha is busy staring at the camera*

"Inuyasha, get away from that!"

"Why?"

"Because it's expensive and…"

*WHAM*

( We hate to interrupt the program, but it seems that we are having…minor…technical difficulties. Seems that Inuyasha has not gained any smarts whatsoever, and has just destroyed the camera. No, mutilated the camera. The show will be cancelled as of now. Maybe on the next episode of "I Am A Jelly Donut," we will actually PLAY the game. )

~~~~STATIC~~~~

AN: Another episode of "I Am A Jelly Donut." I know, not as good as the first one, but still, I need reviews. Tell me watcha think, and maybe I'll make another episode.