InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ I Loved Him ❯ I Loved Him as an Escape ( Chapter 4 )
[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]
By: Light-Eco-Sage 
Kikyou reflects on the unlikely love that she feels for a hanyou.
"Inuyasha" is owned by Rumiko Takahashi.
Anime/Manga: InuYasha Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Hentai / Romance / Supernatural | Type: Other | Uploaded On: 02.13.2013 | Pages: 1 | Words: 1.9K | Visits: 527 | Status: Work In Progress
Kikyou reflects on the unlikely love that she feels for a hanyou.
"Inuyasha" is owned by Rumiko Takahashi.
Anime/Manga: InuYasha Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Hentai / Romance / Supernatural | Type: Other | Uploaded On: 02.13.2013 | Pages: 1 | Words: 1.9K | Visits: 527 | Status: Work In Progress
LES: I’ll be frank. I don’t like Kikyou. But I’m going to try to do this fairly. This story takes place before Naraku happens. Because Kikyou is only slightly tolerable during that time frame or after Kagome heals her. But I’m not willing to deal with the whole love triangle thing, so before Naraku.
However, even being as fair as I can be, I still have major issues with Kikyou. So, just a fair warning… if you like Kikyou, you may not appreciate this chapter.
Chapter IV: I Loved Him as an Escape
Kikyou felt unusually giddy as she made her way down from the forest and back to the village of her birth. Of course, she was always careful to maintain the aloof expression that she was expected to maintain as a miko and the protector of the dangerous Shikon no Tama.
She had never volunteered for the duty of protecting the Shikon jewel from the Youkai that lusted after the power that it could bestow. But she had no choice. No miko could match her powers of purification. With the jewel in her possession, it always maintained a beautiful pink color, a sure sign that it was her duty to watch the thing.
Willing or not, she had been trained since childhood to do her duty, and that’s precisely what she did. She did it faithfully until the day that everything changed: the day that a young Inuhanyou came after the jewel.
He came after her again and again, and was repelled time and time again. Most Youkai were never given the chance to make a bid for the jewel more than once. All of those Youkai had been purified by Kikyou without hesitation.
But there was something different about the Inuhanyou that made her stay the killing blow, no matter how many times he demanded that she just finish him off. He was part Youkai, but he was also half-human. He didn’t carry the full taint of his Youkai heritage, which became evident in the fact that no matter how many times he attacked her, he never sought her life, just the jewel.
Unlike the other mindless Youkai that came after the jewel, this Inuhanyou could be either driven off with no harm down or saved.
And then, as the weeks, Kikyou could sense the Inuhanyou watching her with greater frequency. He didn’t attack so much anymore, just stayed in the trees and watched as she gathered herbs with the company of the village children.
It took Kikyou many days to gather the courage to ask the hanyou to come out of hiding in the trees and to sit next to her. He did so, maintaining plenty of space between them. He glared at her with untrusting eyes, harsh eyes that demanded to know what sort of trick she was planning to play on him in an effort to get him to lower his guard.
But Kikyou was honest with him. She just wanted to talk to him. That first day, she only got a few minutes of conversation with the Inuhanyou, but it was enough to learn his name: Inuyasha.
She gave her name properly in return, and she knew from the expression on his honest face that he was not used to being treated by humans as she was. She could only begin to guess what his story was, but she had no doubt that it must’ve been years since he had a good experience with a human.
As the weeks then turned into months and the seasons began to turn, Kikyou noticed that Inuyasha’s presence had become a semi-permanent fixture in the valley. He would sometimes disappear for a few days, but he never went beyond her ability to sense his youki and always returned. Kikyou suspected that he was clearing out the Youkai in the area, though he would never confess when Kikyou would point out the drop of Youkai she could sense in the valley.
Kikyou noticed a change in Inuyasha. As each of their meetings passed, he became more open with her. He still would not talk about his past, besides a passing mention of his parent’s names, but Kikyou did not mind. Inuyasha’s openness and manners had improved a great deal over the time that she knew him, and she was proud of the progress that he made.
It happened so gradually that Kikyou did not even notice it at first. She didn’t even realize that her meetings with Inuyasha were starting to become the high point of her life. She could talk to him about many things, even some things that she was afraid to talk about to anyone else. Inuyasha would sometimes respond with his own form of tough-love, but that’s what Kikyou felt that she needed sometimes. And even if he had nothing to say in response, he was a wonderful listener.
It wasn’t until one day, when she and Inuyasha were sitting in the shade of a tree and she had just drawn a chuckle from him after telling him a story about the antics of her little sister that she realized…
The sound of his laughter sent a soft flutter through her heart. She froze with shock and fear, staring at the hanyou until he began to sense her stare on him and the laughter died down. “Kikyou? What’s wrong?” He asked, a little unnerved by her stare.
But Kikyou, even knowing the rudeness of her staring, could not bring herself to look away from him. This feeling… it couldn’t be! Her friendship with Inuyasha was all ready looked down upon enough by the villagers and neither of them had done anything outside the bounds of propriety. They’d never even touched each other’s bare skin before, not even in the most innocent of places. If these feelings were what she thought they were, how would the village react? What would be the effect on her spiritual powers? Would she become tainted to the point where she could not purify the jewel?
Even with these thoughts weighing her down, the feeling deep in her breast would not go away. “I’m fine, Inuyasha. I just realized that I must return to the village. The sun is starting to set…”
Inuyasha gazed up at the sky, a little shocked at how much time had passed while he spoke with Kikyou. He had never before let his guard down so much with anymore before, not since his mother died. “All right, Kikyou. I’ll see you around.” And with that, he stood up and bound into the forest.
Kikyou watched him go for a few seconds before she stood and began to walk down to the village, biting her lower lip with worry. Could this feeling really be what she thought it was? Was she falling in love with Inuyasha the hanyou?
The very thought of his name caused butterflies to start in her stomach, confirming what she had just figured out but now knew to be true: she was in love with Inuyasha. And she had no idea what she should do about it.
Pondering the dilemma that she found herself in, Kikyou made it safely to the village, unaware of Inuyasha’s eyes following her the whole way down.
~~~~~~~~~~
That night, Kikyou pondered her situation while she was purifying the Shikon no Tama. No matter which way she looked at it, the villagers would never allow their miko to have a relationship with an Inuhanyou. Nor could she relinquish her powers to become a wife while the Shikon no Tama still existed.
There was an old myth associated with the jewel: that if one managed to make the correct wish on the jewel, one that was completely unselfish, then the jewel would be purified and would cease to exist.
If she and Inuyasha could find the right wish…
Kikyou mentally scoffed at her thought. The wish would have to be utterly pure to exorcise the jewel. Even the smallest taint in the wish would allow the jewel to continue to exist and would possibly twist the wish into an evil form of itself. Was a Youkai even capable of behaving unselfishly?
But no… Kikyou realized. Inuyasha was not a Youkai. He was a hanyou, and therefore he was half-human. She had seen many times the evidence of his human heart within his Youkai body, and that was something she loved about him. If a Youkai could not disobey its blood and be unselfish… perhaps a hanyou could be stronger!
But what wish? Only one that was completely unselfish could purify the jewel. She spent many hours pondering this, until the answer came to her. The answer that would allow them to be together, if he choose to be with her.
She did not doubt that he would. He was just as lonely as she was. She knew that he would stay with her, given the chance.
They could wish for Inuyasha to become human! As a human, Inuyasha would no longer be trapped between two worlds. He could join the human world as a man. Kikyou would make the wish for Inuyasha to be happy, to give him a future worth living rather than the constant worry that came with his hanyou existence. Therefore, the wish was unselfish. And, once he was human and the jewel was purified and no more, Kikyou would have no further obligations to keep her spiritual powers intact and she would be free to be a woman and to take a husband. And that husband could be Inuyasha if he wanted.
They could live together, finally having a place to belong together. They would have love, and a family, and grow old together in comfort and security… and with friends and each other.
She could love Inuyasha freely!
She set the jewel down as she decided that she would meet with Inuyasha and tell him of her plan tomorrow. And, if he agreed, they could both be free from the hard lives they did not desire.
He could escape and she could escape.
She did not notice that, as she ran out of the Temple that housed the Shikon no Tama, the purified jewel turned a slightly darker color. The dark Youkai spirits inside could feel Kikyou’s selfish desire to escape from her responsibilities and the malevolent spirit laughed cruelly as it imagined how it would pervert her wish when the time came for her to make it.
LES: Once again, I do not like Kikyou, and this was probably the hardest chapter for me to write… yes, even harder than the last one. Hopefully, this story is at least a little fair. But ‘fair’ does not mean ‘deluded’. I have issues with Kikyou’s planned wish, and I think it would have been absolutely corrupted if her and Inuyasha went through with it.
However, even being as fair as I can be, I still have major issues with Kikyou. So, just a fair warning… if you like Kikyou, you may not appreciate this chapter.
Chapter IV: I Loved Him as an Escape
Kikyou felt unusually giddy as she made her way down from the forest and back to the village of her birth. Of course, she was always careful to maintain the aloof expression that she was expected to maintain as a miko and the protector of the dangerous Shikon no Tama.
She had never volunteered for the duty of protecting the Shikon jewel from the Youkai that lusted after the power that it could bestow. But she had no choice. No miko could match her powers of purification. With the jewel in her possession, it always maintained a beautiful pink color, a sure sign that it was her duty to watch the thing.
Willing or not, she had been trained since childhood to do her duty, and that’s precisely what she did. She did it faithfully until the day that everything changed: the day that a young Inuhanyou came after the jewel.
He came after her again and again, and was repelled time and time again. Most Youkai were never given the chance to make a bid for the jewel more than once. All of those Youkai had been purified by Kikyou without hesitation.
But there was something different about the Inuhanyou that made her stay the killing blow, no matter how many times he demanded that she just finish him off. He was part Youkai, but he was also half-human. He didn’t carry the full taint of his Youkai heritage, which became evident in the fact that no matter how many times he attacked her, he never sought her life, just the jewel.
Unlike the other mindless Youkai that came after the jewel, this Inuhanyou could be either driven off with no harm down or saved.
And then, as the weeks, Kikyou could sense the Inuhanyou watching her with greater frequency. He didn’t attack so much anymore, just stayed in the trees and watched as she gathered herbs with the company of the village children.
It took Kikyou many days to gather the courage to ask the hanyou to come out of hiding in the trees and to sit next to her. He did so, maintaining plenty of space between them. He glared at her with untrusting eyes, harsh eyes that demanded to know what sort of trick she was planning to play on him in an effort to get him to lower his guard.
But Kikyou was honest with him. She just wanted to talk to him. That first day, she only got a few minutes of conversation with the Inuhanyou, but it was enough to learn his name: Inuyasha.
She gave her name properly in return, and she knew from the expression on his honest face that he was not used to being treated by humans as she was. She could only begin to guess what his story was, but she had no doubt that it must’ve been years since he had a good experience with a human.
As the weeks then turned into months and the seasons began to turn, Kikyou noticed that Inuyasha’s presence had become a semi-permanent fixture in the valley. He would sometimes disappear for a few days, but he never went beyond her ability to sense his youki and always returned. Kikyou suspected that he was clearing out the Youkai in the area, though he would never confess when Kikyou would point out the drop of Youkai she could sense in the valley.
Kikyou noticed a change in Inuyasha. As each of their meetings passed, he became more open with her. He still would not talk about his past, besides a passing mention of his parent’s names, but Kikyou did not mind. Inuyasha’s openness and manners had improved a great deal over the time that she knew him, and she was proud of the progress that he made.
It happened so gradually that Kikyou did not even notice it at first. She didn’t even realize that her meetings with Inuyasha were starting to become the high point of her life. She could talk to him about many things, even some things that she was afraid to talk about to anyone else. Inuyasha would sometimes respond with his own form of tough-love, but that’s what Kikyou felt that she needed sometimes. And even if he had nothing to say in response, he was a wonderful listener.
It wasn’t until one day, when she and Inuyasha were sitting in the shade of a tree and she had just drawn a chuckle from him after telling him a story about the antics of her little sister that she realized…
The sound of his laughter sent a soft flutter through her heart. She froze with shock and fear, staring at the hanyou until he began to sense her stare on him and the laughter died down. “Kikyou? What’s wrong?” He asked, a little unnerved by her stare.
But Kikyou, even knowing the rudeness of her staring, could not bring herself to look away from him. This feeling… it couldn’t be! Her friendship with Inuyasha was all ready looked down upon enough by the villagers and neither of them had done anything outside the bounds of propriety. They’d never even touched each other’s bare skin before, not even in the most innocent of places. If these feelings were what she thought they were, how would the village react? What would be the effect on her spiritual powers? Would she become tainted to the point where she could not purify the jewel?
Even with these thoughts weighing her down, the feeling deep in her breast would not go away. “I’m fine, Inuyasha. I just realized that I must return to the village. The sun is starting to set…”
Inuyasha gazed up at the sky, a little shocked at how much time had passed while he spoke with Kikyou. He had never before let his guard down so much with anymore before, not since his mother died. “All right, Kikyou. I’ll see you around.” And with that, he stood up and bound into the forest.
Kikyou watched him go for a few seconds before she stood and began to walk down to the village, biting her lower lip with worry. Could this feeling really be what she thought it was? Was she falling in love with Inuyasha the hanyou?
The very thought of his name caused butterflies to start in her stomach, confirming what she had just figured out but now knew to be true: she was in love with Inuyasha. And she had no idea what she should do about it.
Pondering the dilemma that she found herself in, Kikyou made it safely to the village, unaware of Inuyasha’s eyes following her the whole way down.
~~~~~~~~~~
That night, Kikyou pondered her situation while she was purifying the Shikon no Tama. No matter which way she looked at it, the villagers would never allow their miko to have a relationship with an Inuhanyou. Nor could she relinquish her powers to become a wife while the Shikon no Tama still existed.
There was an old myth associated with the jewel: that if one managed to make the correct wish on the jewel, one that was completely unselfish, then the jewel would be purified and would cease to exist.
If she and Inuyasha could find the right wish…
Kikyou mentally scoffed at her thought. The wish would have to be utterly pure to exorcise the jewel. Even the smallest taint in the wish would allow the jewel to continue to exist and would possibly twist the wish into an evil form of itself. Was a Youkai even capable of behaving unselfishly?
But no… Kikyou realized. Inuyasha was not a Youkai. He was a hanyou, and therefore he was half-human. She had seen many times the evidence of his human heart within his Youkai body, and that was something she loved about him. If a Youkai could not disobey its blood and be unselfish… perhaps a hanyou could be stronger!
But what wish? Only one that was completely unselfish could purify the jewel. She spent many hours pondering this, until the answer came to her. The answer that would allow them to be together, if he choose to be with her.
She did not doubt that he would. He was just as lonely as she was. She knew that he would stay with her, given the chance.
They could wish for Inuyasha to become human! As a human, Inuyasha would no longer be trapped between two worlds. He could join the human world as a man. Kikyou would make the wish for Inuyasha to be happy, to give him a future worth living rather than the constant worry that came with his hanyou existence. Therefore, the wish was unselfish. And, once he was human and the jewel was purified and no more, Kikyou would have no further obligations to keep her spiritual powers intact and she would be free to be a woman and to take a husband. And that husband could be Inuyasha if he wanted.
They could live together, finally having a place to belong together. They would have love, and a family, and grow old together in comfort and security… and with friends and each other.
She could love Inuyasha freely!
She set the jewel down as she decided that she would meet with Inuyasha and tell him of her plan tomorrow. And, if he agreed, they could both be free from the hard lives they did not desire.
He could escape and she could escape.
She did not notice that, as she ran out of the Temple that housed the Shikon no Tama, the purified jewel turned a slightly darker color. The dark Youkai spirits inside could feel Kikyou’s selfish desire to escape from her responsibilities and the malevolent spirit laughed cruelly as it imagined how it would pervert her wish when the time came for her to make it.
LES: Once again, I do not like Kikyou, and this was probably the hardest chapter for me to write… yes, even harder than the last one. Hopefully, this story is at least a little fair. But ‘fair’ does not mean ‘deluded’. I have issues with Kikyou’s planned wish, and I think it would have been absolutely corrupted if her and Inuyasha went through with it.