InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ I'm Looking In ❯ Aren't You Tired Of This ( Chapter 4 )

Kagome climbed into her car, wiping angrily at her tears. She cursed her stupidity, not only for going to that grave but also for allowing Inuyasha to kiss her. She also swore loudly at the fact that his kiss had left her aching for more and she knew that he knew it.

 

“Stupid arrogant bastard thinks he can just come up and kiss me like that!” She muttered. She jumped when her cell phone rang and picked it up without glancing at the caller ID. “What?” She snapped into the phone.

 

“Hello to you too Kagome.” Sesshomaru's smooth voice reached her ear.

 

“Perfect, first I have to deal with your idiot brother now you, what do you want.”

 

Sesshomaru pulled the phone away from his ear and stared at in shock. “What did I do to you?” He snapped back.

 

“Oh I don't know, telling me that my stupid, two timing ass hole of a mate was in a meeting instead of telling me the truth.” Sesshomaru fell silent. “Yeah that's what I thought.”

 

“Look, we all wanted to tell you, but Inuyasha made us promise not to. I'm a Youkai, my word is my bond, I can't ever go back on a promise.”

 

Kagome pinched the bridge of her nose. “I know, I know.” She sighed. “So why am I getting the pleasure of this phone call?”

 

“I have a proposition for you.” Sesshomaru told her.

 

“Oh really?”

 

“Yes, do you have time to come over now or shall we put it off for tomorrow?”

 

Kagome chewed her lip in contemplation. What did she really have to do today? Unpack eight suitcases filled with crap that she probably didn't need and then sit around and put up with the looks of pity from her family. At least Sesshomaru wouldn't give her that look, she laughed bitterly at the thought that Sesshomaru rarely showed any kind of emotion.

 

“Why are you laughing?” Sesshomaru's voice broke through her thoughts.

 

“Never mind, I can come by now.” Kagome told him. “I can be there in 45 minutes.”

 

~ * ~

 

Kagome knocked on the front door of Sesshomaru's large estate. She could hear grumbling coming from the other side as the door slowly opened. She looked down, and was greeted by Jaken, Sesshomaru's personal aide.

 

“What do you want?” Jaken snapped.

 

“You know for a Youkai that only comes up to my knee you'd think you'd know when to be polite.” Kagome told him.

 

“How dare you!” Jaken squealed.

 

Kagome rolled her eyes as Jaken continued on his tirade. “Oh shut up, you stinking little toad!” She shouted kicking Jaken out of her way.

 

“It never fails to amaze me how far you can kick him.” Sesshomaru said ducking as his small aide went flying past his head.

 

Kagome smirked at Sesshomaru. “And I was gentle that time, think of how far he would have gone had I actually put some effort into it.”

 

Kagome was slightly startled by Sesshomaru's laughter. She had only heard it a few times herself and it never failed to surprise her. She smiled at him, tears quickly springing to her eyes. She let out a sob and allowed the Youkai to pull her against him.

 

“I don't know why I'm crying!” Kagome muttered against his chest.

 

“You have every right to be upset. My brother is an asshole that's why you're crying, you're hurt, you're confused and…” Sesshomaru trailed off. “And getting snot all over my three thousand dollar suit.”

 

Kagome burst out laughing pulling away from Sesshomaru. “I never thought I'd hear you say the word snot.”

 

“Living with a child will do that to you.” Sesshomaru said, wrapping his arm around her shoulders and led her to his study.

 

“So what's this proposition for me?”

 

Sesshomaru sat down and motioned for Kagome to do the same. “Well I was speaking to Kohana this morning and she actually came up with the idea. We thought that maybe being back at the shrine would be a bit restrictive on you. You've been on your own for six years, doing as you please, and now you have to be respectful to the place you're living.”

 

Kagome's eyebrows rose in interest, she truly hadn't thought about that. “Go on.”

“Well, there aren't too many places in Tokyo that a student fresh out of College and looking for work could afford, so...” He paused to take a sip of water, making Kagome want to lunge across the desk and strangle him in her impatience. “Why don't you move in here? Don't worry about rent until you have a job and then we will work out something you can afford. I have plenty of rooms and many of them have their own private entrances and are like suites. I will have company; you'll be able to help me with Rin.”

 

“She's still here?” Kagome interrupted.

 

“Of course.” Sesshomaru said like it was ridicules for her not to be. “She'll be turning fifteen soon, and she could use another female in the house. And when things get tough there's always Jaken to kick around, and that would provide me with hours of entertainment.”

 

Kagome smiled. “I don't want to feel like I'm taking advantage of you because you're, you know, his brother.”

 

Sesshomaru's eyes dropped into a playful glare. “Even if you weren't mated to that idiot little brother of mine I would still offer you this. We are family and at least this way I can provide you with some protection. I fear that if Inuyasha releases you from the bond, a few Youkai would be more than willing to take his place.”

 

Kagome's face scrunched up. “I'd prefer not to think of that right now. It's still a little hard to accept what's going on as it is.”

 

Sesshomaru nodded. “So what do you say would you like to move in here?”

 

~ * ~

 

Akina choked on her tea and stared at her daughter in shock. “You want to what?”

 

“Move in with Sesshomaru.” Kagome repeated.

 

“Are you sure living with Sesshomaru is a good idea?” Akina asked.

 

“Mom, I don't mean any offence, I just got used to my freedom and taking care of myself.” Kagome explained. “At least you know I'm safe with Sesshomaru.”

 

“I know that, but are you sure that's a good idea?” Akina asked. “After all, you just returned home and,”

 

“Mom, please trust me on this one. I can't stay here, if I stay here…” Kagome trailed off.

 

“It's because Inuyasha knows you're here, isn't it?”

 

Kagome didn't respond to her mother right away. She wanted to choose her words carefully to make her mother understand. “Mom, I still want him.”

 

Akina stared at her daughter thoughtfully. “You're afraid that if you're here and he comes to see you, you won't be able to refuse him.”

 

Kagome chewed on her lip and stared at her cup. “I don't know. It's like I know that at Sesshomaru's I can easily escape him. There are so many places to `hide' there, and Sesshomaru can protect me from…”

 

“Yourself?”

 

Kagome nodded. “Exactly.”

 

Akina sighed. “Kagome, I won't pretend to know what you're going through. I think that you and Inuyasha need to sit down and talk about this. I know something isn't right. He told us all about the email…”

 

“What email?” Kagome demanded, standing up so quickly that her chair fell over. “I don't understand what everyone is talking about.”

 

“You never emailed him?” Akina asked gently.

 

“Of course I emailed him. I called him, emailed him, IM'd him.” Among other things. “I talked to him every God damned chance that I had mom. I would call him while I was running for my next class, even if it was to only hear his voicemail. Do you know how stalkerish that is?”

 

“It's called being in love.” Akina countered. “And being separated from that love.”

 

Kagome snorted at that comment. “In love? If he was so fucking in love with me, why is he with her!” She shouted.

 

Akina flinched at her daughter's anger. “Darling, the only one who can answer that is Inuyasha, and I honestly don't know why he's with Aya-“

 

“Don't say her name.” Kagome growled. “It's less real if you don't say it.”

 

“That's denial.”

 

“It's less painful is what it is.”

 

The two women turned at the new voice. Kohana was leaning against the frame of the back door. “Akina, may I speak with Kagome alone?” Akina nodded and left the kitchen.

 

“Don't you start lecturing me.” Kagome snapped.

 

“Oh believe me the only person I intend to lecture is my bull-headed son.” Kohana told her. “Kagome, I'm not going to tell you I know what you're going through. I don't, none of us do. I personally don't understand it. Inu-Youkai typically only take one mate, and quite often they die without them.” Kagome flinched at those words. “I don't want my son to die Kagome.”

 

“And you think I do?”

 

“No, I don't. But I think you're dying.”

 

Kagome's jaw dropped in shock. “You think I'm dying?”

 

“Yes.” Kohana said. “Youkai mating is not to be taken lightly, especially when that Youkai is an Inu, half or full. I told that to Inuyasha when he first took you as his mate. I hoped that maybe he would realize that you were both still so young and release you from the bond.”

 

“Sesshomaru said something about that. I don't understand what you mean.” Kagome said, sinking back into her chair with a sigh.

 

“There is a way to release the mating bond. If you were both Youkai, or Hanyou, you'd be able to do it, but since he's the one with Youkai blood, only he can do so. It was made for situations where a Youkai mated too young or made a mistake. It was common back several centuries ago for Youkai and Hanyou's to mate while under the influence of magic's. They learned quickly how to release themselves from those bonds.

 

“I had hoped after he told me what happened that he would release the bond. It would take away your mark and any trace of scent trapped in your body thanks to his blood. It would leave you free to find another mate: human, Hanyou or Youkai.”

 

“The Youkai equivalence of divorce.” Kagome muttered.

 

“Pretty much.” Kohana said taking Kagome's hand. “However, my son is being stubborn and won't release the bond. I don't know why. I know he is not happy with Ayame, she's a rebound gone wrong. I think that he's afraid that if he releases the bond, he'll lose you completely.”

 

“It wouldn't have been any different if we hadn't mated.” Kagome whispered, her voice cracking.

 

“He was always afraid of losing you, Kagome.” Kohana told her gently. “Every fight you two had cut him to the quick. I've seen Youkai die because they've lost a mate, and when you two would go days without speaking, he'd look just like them. His Youkai has always wanted you for a mate, he was just to stupid to listen to it. There was no way you two could have avoided mating, it was destined to be.”

 

“If that's true, then this was destined to be.” Kagome said bitterly, wiping at the tears that threatened to fall.

 

“Or, perhaps this was just meant to test you.”

 

Kagome sighed. “I still don't see why you think I'm dying.”

 

“You're not dying physically, you're soul is.” Kagome's eyes shot to Kohana's. “I can see it in your eyes. They're becoming empty, much like mine were when Keitsuyoi died.”

 

“How did you survive that?” Kagome asked. “If Youkai die from missing their mates, can't the same happen to humans?”

 

Kohana nodded. “Most definitely. The only thing that kept me going was Inuyasha. I had to live for him.”

 

Kagome sighed and buried her face in her hands. “What do I do? Ask him to give me a child so that I have a reason to go on?”

 

Kohana shook her head and wrapped her arms around the young woman. “No, you simply have to ask him to release you. That way you can move on.”

 

“And if I don't want to move on?” Kagome asked softly.

 

“Then you find a way back to each other.” She told her. “You two are meant to be, you'll find a way back, one way or another.”

 

~ * ~

 

AN: Okay I wanted to update so much earlier than this. It took me a long time to figure out how the conversation between Kohana and Kagome would flow. I wrote and re-wrote that part so many times, and I'm satisfied now. I thought that Kohana is truly the only person who can help Kagome. She's human and had to deal with the loss of a Youkai mate, it's not the same as Kagome, but she can council her so much better than anyone else can.

 

I'm truly shocked at how many people have taken to this story. It took me twice as long to get this many reviews and readers for “I'm On The Outside” I'm so glad that you are all enjoying this story. I am going to try to update at least once a day with this one. This is the one story that I know definitely where I want to take it. I tend to change my mind a lot when writing.

 

Thank you to the following reviewers:

dogdemonandkagome ::: phantomflame (you shall learn about the email all in good time, perhaps another chapter or two) ::: Jem46 (I hope this answers your question. I wanted to wait for Kagome's little outburst to tell you readers if they truly talked all the time or not. The problem with the email is that no one but Inuyasha knows what it says, so no one can tell Kagome what's going on and which email it is, especially since she sent him so many over the period of six years. I will tell you that the email was sent about six months before Kagome was to return home) ::: Lil_Kag ::: InuGrrrl (Yay! I love having Fan Girls they make me feel important! As for who sent the email…all in due time m'dear. I'm sorry for making you cry and I promise the lemon that is to come is going to be a good one…well…one of the lemons to come at least ;)) ::: jtcl ::: Fallen6906 (I'm separating them simply because I just had this feeling that they couldn't be completely blissful. Long distance relationships are hard and I'm a little angsty right now, so I want a character as miserable as me LOL) ::: inu_pup (Well since this is an Inu/Kag fic, it will be alright…eventually, but they have some trials and tribulations to go through first) ::: AimzyJ (It's not lame! But at least you gave me warning, so I know you still love me!) ::: KitCatKit (I'm glad I helped you find out if your tear ducts were still working :P) ::: Drysdale (I haven't had much time to check out new music but I will definitely look into “Right Here”, I appreciate the suggestion and who knows I may use it.) ::: rdsjr_1989 ::: Crimson Warrior (You will most definitely be finding out more about the break up very soon. I want to get that out of the way quickly so that we can all enjoy Inuyasha grovelling. I will say that you will find out who or what is behind it. I doubt I'll put any original characters into this, just because it's hard to do. If I do they will be in flashbacks or there will be names mentioned that are not part of the series, but they will be school mates of Kagome from America.) ::: ameera4eva ::: Rachiru ::: flrsblue (No he hasn't had sex with her, they are only dating. Ayame is just the typical rebound relationship, minus sex.)

 

Disclaimer: I don't own Inuyasha or the characters of Rumiko Takahashi. I do own the plot of this story along with any original characters that may make an appearance.