InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ I'm Still Here ❯ The More You Turn Away... ( Chapter 1 )

I'm Still Here

Chapter I- The More You Turn Away…

AN: This fic is dedicated to InuGrrrl, the queen of all angst. I hope you like it! Thanks for writing such awesome fics, gurl!! <33

“Since we're stopping here for a few days…” Kagome started uneasily, “I'd like to go back to my time for a little while…” As usual, they had been chasing Naraku, who had gotten away. They were now walking together, Kagome on Inuyasha's back, her legs securely wrapped around his waist, his hands under her knees. Sango and Miroku were walking close by, Kirara following them happily. Shippo was nestled on Kagome's shoulder, his breathing steady as he tried to sleep.

“Why?” Inuyasha asked gruffly.

“I need to get some stuff…and maybe see my family…and friends,” she added hesitantly. “I miss them, you know?”

Inuyasha thought for a moment. He didn't mind her seeing her family, as long as she came back. Her friends, though… He imagined those three squealing girls; Yuka, Eri and Ayumi… And that boy they kept talking about. Hobo, Homo… something like that. He didn't like it when she saw them. They were always trying to get her to “go out” with Hobo, and kept telling her how bad Inuyasha was for her. They wanted her to leave him… He growled at the thought.

“Keh, fine,” he agreed reluctantly. “But I don't want you seeing that Hobo guy.”

Kagome blinked. Surely she hadn't just heard that right. “Excuse me?” she said through gritted teeth. “Who are you to tell me who I can and cannot see?!”

Inuyasha growled in irritation. “Listen, wench! I've already let you go, so why don't you fucking do as I say for once?!”

Kagome pushed herself off of Inuyasha's back, almost falling on her back in the process. Shippo, who had been comfortably curled up on her shoulder, was now listening intently. “You don't own me, Inuyasha!”

“Oh, really?” the hanyou sneered. “Then who the fuck does?!”

“Nobody owns me, baka!!” Kagome yelled, stomping her foot on the ground beneath her. “You're such an insensitive jerk! What if I want to see him? He's my friend!”

Inuyasha growled. Hobo got the same title as him? Both were her `friends'? And what if he wanted more than that? Before he could stop himself, Inuyasha ground out, “Your friend?! He's your friend? Then what am I then, bitch? A friend, too?!”

Kagome blanched. Was this a trick question? “You're…umm…” she stuttered. “Hey, did you just call me a bitch?!” she screamed, smartly avoiding the subject.

“Wh-what?” Inuyasha blinked. “You were just -”

To push away the unwanted subject even more, Kagome huffed and crossed her arms over her chest. “I'm sick of your calling me a bitch, Inuyasha!” When he was about to protest, or explain his words, she continued. “I am not, and nor will I ever be anyone's bitch, get it?” When she saw his mouth open to say something, she quickly specified. “Not even yours.”

Kagome hadn't realized the meaning of what she had said until it was too late. There was sort of a mutual and unspoken understanding between the two that they would be together, eventually. Without intending to, Kagome had just shattered all of Inuyasha's hopes of her returning his feelings. Although he had heard her say many times that she wouldn't leave him, Inuyasha wasn't very trusting of that; he was very insecure about her feelings for him. She had promised him to stay until they'd found all of the shards, but what would happen after that?

“I didn't really - ” Kagome tried to say as she fidgeted nervously.

“Keh. Whatever.” Inuyasha looked her in the eye for less than a second, and she could have sworn that she saw a flicker of pain in his expression. “Do whatever you want, wench. I'll be around. We're pretty close to the village already, so you can all go ahead,” he added gruffly before leaping onto a tree, and then another, until they couldn't see him anymore.

“Inuyasha…” Kagome whispered as she felt tears behind her eyes. “Inuyasha!!” She yelled. But he didn't come back. Somehow, Kagome knew she had gone too far, and something was going to happen. She shook her head, willing the tears away. `Oh, calm down, Kagome,' she told herself, `it was just a simple fight…'

But it wasn't. In the three years she had come to know Inuyasha, they had fought many times. Yet this time, it seemed more important, more serious. This one seemed like it might ruin their relationship… `What relationship…?' Kagome thought sarcastically. She sighed loudly and turned to face the others, who, she now painfully realized, had been listening the whole time. Shippo had jumped off of her shoulder, and she hadn't even noticed. Both Sango and Miroku were staring at the ground nervously, not daring to look up at her. “Let's go,” she managed to say coldly.

As Inuyasha had said, the rest of the walk hadn't been long; but to Kagome, it had felt like a lifetime. All she wanted to do was get home, take a warm bath, snuggle in her bed with a good book and just relax; forget that this argument had ever happened.

Yeah; easy to say.

She had succeeded in taking that warm bath, and getting in bed. Concentrating on her book and forgetting the argument were a tad harder. She kept thinking about Inuyasha and how he must have felt. She could only imagine the hurt she must have caused him. Kagome sighed sadly. She had always wondered what would happen after the shards were collected. She knew she had promised to stay with him until then, but what would she do after that? She would want to stay more… Hell, she wanted to stay with him forever, but would he want that?

Kagome's shoulders slumped. There was also Kikyo. Sure, she was dead, but Inuyasha still thought about her a lot. Tears formed in Kagome's eyes again. She wasn't sure how, but she knew something was going to happen. She knew this time she had really gone too far.

As a tear rolled down her cheek, Kagome got out of bed, determined to talk to him. She knew he felt something for her and she desperately needed to tell him how she felt. Changing into her school uniform, she went to say goodbye to her family.

“Already, dear?” her mother asked sadly. “We haven't been seeing much of you these past few months…”

“I'm sorry, mama,” Kagome apologized sincerely. “I might be back in a day or so…” `Hopefully, I'll have made up with Inuyasha by then…' she added silently.

After a few goodbyes, and packing her huge yellow bag, Kagome was jumping into the well. When she got to Kaede's hut, her friends were having dinner…except Inuyasha. They all greeted her warmly, happy that she was already back, but she hardly noticed…or cared. “Isn't Inuyasha here?” she asked, hoping they would inform her that he was sulking on his tree, as usual.

Immediately, Sango's face fell. “No, Kagome…” she said uneasily, “we haven't seen him yet…”

“Oh…” Kagome managed to mumble.

“I'm sure he'll come back for dinner, eventually…” Sango tried. She had never seen Inuyasha skip a meal. Actually, she had never seen Inuyasha skip Shippo's meal, either. Staring into her friend's eyes, she realized that Kagome was truly worried about the hanyou. “It'll be fine,” she assured her soothingly.

Kagome nodded slowly, silently hoping that Sango was right. She quietly excused herself to sit outside. The air was cool, not cold enough for a jacket. Kagome walked to the Goshimboku and sighed. “Inuyasha, are you here?” she called out. When no one answered, she sat at the bottom of the tree, her back resting against it. She didn't understand what was wrong with her. How many times had she and Inuyasha fought? Hundreds, at least. She felt the familiar tightening in her throat, signaling that she was about to cry.

Not even bothering to stop the tears, Kagome cried. Tears traveled down her cheeks to the corner of her mouth as soft sobs escaped her pouting lips. How stupid she had been. She knew what a bitch meant for an Inu-Youkai. She should have been flattered when he called her a bitch. When he called her his bitch. She knew what he had meant with the word, yet she had thrown it away like trash. “Yash…” she whispered as she brought her knees to her chest, circling them with her arms and burying her face between them.