InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ I'm Still Here ❯ To Defile ( Chapter 5 )

Chapter Five

To Defile

AN: So sorry for the wait sweeties! Exams kicked my ass, and now I'm on vacation in my home country, and not finding much time to write. I'm really sorry, and will try to write faster, seeing as this is getting interesting.

This chapter is not intended for readers under the age of seventeen.

The next morning, Kagome just tagged along with the others quietly. Both Sango and Miroku tried talking to her, but she would only nod, shake her head, or go “hm.” They were really worried, and hoped that she would start responding to them soon.

Kouga, on the other hand, hadn't tried saying anything. He just led them to where he smelled traces of Naraku. He wanted to ask Kagome if she sensed a jewel shard, but knew she wouldn't bother to try. He didn't think she was able to concentrate on finding jewel shards anytime soon.

Shippo only followed after them like a sick puppy, not even bothering to get on Kagome's shoulder. They were considerably slow, since they were all walking, and Kagome found herself missing the way Inuyasha carried her on his back, the smell of his hair that she often washed with her own shampoo - without the others' knowledge, of course - and the way his hands felt on her thighs, warm and secure…

She felt tears pooling in her eyes but didn't try to stop them. She didn't care if anyone saw her crying anymore. Kouga had smelled it, though, and so had Shippo. They both turned to look at her. Shippo then turned his attention to Kouga, and glared at him.

When Sango noticed this, she pulled him into her arms. “I know you miss Inuyasha,” she said. “But Kouga is not replacing him. Yash could never be replaced.” Before she knew it, her eyes had watered. Miroku, who was walking next to her, took her hand and nodded at Shippo.

Kagome turned to look at them, and felt her chest tighten. They were all hurting for the loss of her love, and she felt like they understood her. She locked eyes with Sango, and the taijiya nodded at her understandingly, gesturing for her to walk with them.

Kagome turned away, not really knowing why. “I'd like to stop,” she said quietly, knowing Kouga would hear her.

“Sure,” he said. “Yeah, let's stop. There's a hot spring nearby. You girls can relax,” he stuttered. He wasn't used to having humans with him, and wondered what he was going to do. How would he feed them? How often did they need to eat? As he looked at Kagome, though, he realized that it wasn't the time for such ideas.

Kagome and Sango quietly drew a cloth under a tree and Miroku announced that he was going to go get some food. He swallowed a lump in his throat, realizing that he usually did that with Inuyasha. He looked over to Kouga who was set on hunting with him. It would be weird, but he had to do it.

As Kagome and Sango walked to the spring quietly, Kouga frowned. `How long is it going to take her to forget about him?' he wondered impatiently. Maybe he would have to take matters into his own hands…

XX

“Kagome,” Sango whispered as they undressed.

“Hm?” was Kagome's answer.

“Don't you want to go back home?” When Kagome looked at her, she added. “To have some rest, of course. You… you do want to stay, right?”

Kagome thought she owed Sango a little talking. “Hai. I will stay. I have to finish what I started with…” She closed her eyes. She couldn't even say his name anymore…

“I understand, Kagome…” Sango whispered. “But I thought you'd want to go home for a bit to rest…” `And take a break from all these emotions…'

“No…” Kagome said, her voice seemingly broken. “Mama would ask what happened, Souta would ask where… he is… and then my friends… nobody would understand how I feel better than you guys… And you all understand that I don't want to talk about it… I need to go through this alone…”

“Hai,” Sango said, nodding her head. They both slipped in the water, assaulted by memories of catching the hanyou and Miroku watching them from a nearby tree.

Kagome closed her eyes. `And he was really only watching us to make sure we were safe…' she thought, the familiar feeling of her throat tightening making her breathe harder.

Sango looked at her, not knowing what to do. She wanted to bad to help her friend, and make her feel better, but she knew that it was all over now - that it was too late to make her smile the same way she used to, ever again.

“I'll never be whole again…” she whispered, as if reading her friend's thoughts. “I don't know how I can go on without him…”

“Kagome…”

“I can't,” the girl from the future cried. “I just can't…” She finally broke down and sobbed, letting Sango wrap her in a comforting hug and stroke her hair.

“What happened to him…?” she wondered aloud. “What could have possibly killed him?”

She wanted to yell, scream, cry… anything to express the way she was feeling. She wanted to rip her hair out and scream his name… She just wanted him to come back, wanted him to hold her and tell her that everything was fine… She wanted to see him frowning and scowling, wanted to tell him to sit… anything that would prove he was really there.

It seemed like hours had passed by as she cried into Sango's shoulder. “Yash…” she sobbed. “How could I have been so stupid…?”

All Sango could do was hold her tight and stroke her hair. She could feel her best friend's pain as if it was her own, and never had she wanted Inuyasha to be there this much. She missed him too, remembering the time she'd tried to sit him.

“Kagome…” she said. “We all miss him…” and together they cried, mourning for the loss of their pack leader.

XX

“Kagome,” Kouga said when he noticed that she had finished eating. “Aren't you hungry? You hardly ate…”

She looked into his eyes and could see genuine worry in them. She smiled slightly at him. “No, I'm not hungry…” she said.

Kouga nodded. “I'd like to talk to you,” he said. `Alone' he added silently.

Kagome got up and followed him, as Sango and Miroku cast each other weird looks.

They walked all the way to the woods, and when he was sure that the others wouldn't hear them anymore, Kouga sat her under a tree and settled next to her.

“Kagome,” he said seriously. “We're all going to miss him, you know?” As Kagome nodded, looking away, he went on. “But you can't think that your life is over without him.”

`What's his point?' Kagome wondered. `Maybe I will get over this, but it's only been a couple of days…'

“My point is,” he said as he held her chin with two fingers and tilted her face so he could look in her eyes. “My point is, Kagome… that you should let me take care of that pain you're feeling now…”

Kagome frowned as she felt his lips descend on hers. She didn't know what to do, so she didn't do anything. His lips moved over hers, effectively stealing her first kiss, but she didn't react.

“Let me take away the pain…” he repeated, and she found herself wrapping her arms around his neck. She vaguely realized that she was kissing Inuyasha's rival, but it felt good to feel some affection, and she closed her eyes, responding to the kiss, and trying to feel Inuyasha instead.

She knew it was wrong, but when she closed her eyes and pictured her hanyou, all she felt was him… and she didn't want to stop anymore. Desperately, she clung to Kouga and opened her mouth to him.

Thinking he'd finally won, Kouga held her to him and pushed her down to lay atop of her. As his tongue invaded her mouth and tamed her own, Kagome only saw Inuyasha, only felt her love…

Kouga's hands slid under her shirt, and she moaned as his claws sliced her bra open and grabbed her breast.

He broke their heated kiss, moving his head lower to suck on her neck, preparing it to where he would place his mark, rejoicing in her moans.

Kagome felt the tent forming in the little fur he wore and gasped. He ripped her shirt and attacked one of her breasts with his mouth.

“I-Inuyasha…” Kagome moaned, arching into him.

Kouga's head snapped up, and his eyes flashed furiously. “What the fuck did you just say?!” he growled.

Kagome's eyes opened with a start, and she realized what she'd been doing. “Kouga!” she said, horrified. `What have I done?!' she thought, panicking and trying to get up.

“You fucking bitch!” Kouga sneered as he pushed her down. “You think when I fuck you, you'll be saying that mutt's name?! How dare you?!”

Kagome's eyes widened in fear. “Kouga… I'm sorry… Please stop, you're scaring me…”

“Am I?!” he growled. “Are you scared bitch?” He was ripping her skirt off now. “Because you'll be screaming soon,” he stated with fire in his eyes. His claws made quick work of her panties, and a second later, a terrified Kagome found herself on her hands and knees, with Kouga hovering behind her. Without warning, he thrust his engorged manhood in her, and she screamed her pain. “You'll be fucking screaming, bitch!” he yelled. “And not from pleasure!”

XX

And a little farther, around the fire, Shippo's eyes widened.

“What's wrong, Shippo?” Sango asked, worried. He had gasped and was now looking at the forest.

“N-Nothing…” he whispered, terrified by the howls and screams he was hearing.

“What's happening there?” Sango yelled. She couldn't hear or smell a thing, but if Shippo's face was of any indication of anything, something bad was happening.

She got up, staring at him the whole time and headed towards the forest.

“No!” Shippo screeched, jumping in front of her and grabbing her legs. “No, Sango! He'll kill you! He'll kill us all… starting with Kagome…”

Sango and Miroku both looked at him, visibly horrified, trying to imagine what was happening. “What… What is he doing to her?” Miroku asked, wishing what he had in mind wasn't true.

“He's… claiming her…” Shippo said. “By force…”

Sango's hands flew to her mouth as tears slipped down her cheeks. “Making her his mate?” she asked.

“Hai…” Shippo said. “But since Kagome is not willing, some things will not apply to her…” He had had long conversations about mating rituals with Inuyasha. “She will not feel his emotions, as mates usually do, and will not feel helpless when he is not around.”

“So that means that if he dies, she won't die as well?” Sango asked.

“Sadly, she will…” Shippo said. “The intensity of all of this depends on how much she cares, or doesn't care for him.”

Sango nodded. She wished she could have done something to help her friend… it seemed that everything was going wrong…