InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ If Only If Only ❯ Prologue ( Prologue )

_-*-*-*-_If Only, If Only_-*-*-*-_

By: Kagura-hime

Summery: Kagome Higurashi is the daughter of a wealthy family in the early 1800's of Japan. Inuyasha Takara is a powerful shogun at war with his ruthless half brother. They are engaged to wed when Kagome finds him with another woman, and spirals into a deadly depression. What happens when that ruthless brother catches up with the young maiden in the midst of battle, and discovers the shocking truth? Sess/Kag

<<Insert standard disclaimer here>>

Yay! Two stories! *does happy dance* Ok, I'm warning you upfront, this IS going to take a while to update. Well, possibly not, because this is going to be extremely angsty, with very little to no humor though out the entire story. You've been warned. It's going to take a while to update because in order to write something straight angst, I have to be depressed or something close to that. That probably won't be a problem right now since I have many problems in my life right now, but that won't stop me from writing. I promise. Anywho, on with the story!

Recommended fics: 28 Days, and Dead Famous by Rosefire1, because I think you'll need some humor after this fic, or if you want to check out another angst filled fic, look at Tourniquet by Child of the Ancients. It's a songfic based on the Evanescence song.

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_-*-*-*-_Prologue_-*-*-*_

This is the story about a girl whose entire life got turned upside down by one simple revelation that rocked her world. Everything she was ever taught to believe was thrown out the window to disappear with the season of fading leaves. She was confused as hell to put it simply. How could this have happened to her? Her, whose life had been planned for her, now twisted into shambles but Fates unmerciful grip?

What she could have done to prevent this? Surely something could have been done to change the outcome. But she didn't. She saw the danger, and kept plowing right though anyway. Her strong will and undeniable stubbornness drove her to the edge, where she now dangled precariously, where just one little movement would send her plunging to her death. Why couldn't one of all the other people on this god forsaken earth be in her place? Had Destiny planned for her to bring dishonor and shame upon her family? If only she hadn't been there at the wrong place at the wrong time...

The catapult theory was coming back to haunt her. All that luck she had lately...then this goes and happens. The catapult was stretched to far. Snap.

If there was a way to reverse time, this girl would have surely already changed things. But, the question is...if it was Destiny, would it have found another way to have its wishes carried out? This the girl did not know. So as she slid ever closer to that sharp drop, there was just one thought that stood out clearest in her jumble of a mind. When she did finally hit that ledge, which she was positive she would, would she be saved, or would she be forgotten?

If only, If only...

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Kagome rolled over onto her side on the tatami mat. Her eyes were bloodshot from many restless nights of tossing and turning-blessed sleep never claiming her for long. Tears streamed down her face, silent but deadly. They screamed of her ultimate pain and betrayal, a pain that she would carry with her until the end of her days- which would be soon if she didn't learn to cope fast.

A creak sounded out in the hall, and Kagome froze. She gripped the small dagger under her blanket that she now kept with her at all times. Her breathing became ragged and the tears stopped flowing for a split second. A shadow sat in front of the shogi screen and knocked. The outline was that of a young woman.

"Kagome-sama, are you ready for me to dress you?" she called softly. She didn't even know why the young girl even bothered to get dressed anymore-all she did was sit in her room staring into space and crying all day. She barely ate and it was even rarer that she came out to see her father and the never-ending flow of guests and suitors. `What has happened to the young miss? Why must she kill herself?'

Kagome slowly loosened her deathly grip on the blade. She swiped the crystal drops from her eyes savagely and pushed herself up into a kneeling position weakly, for she had very little strength left inside her.

"Not yet. Let me rest awhile more," she commanded a little shakily.

The servant merely nodded and rose quietly. She took her leave, and Kagome stared out the window to a certain grove of trees. Sobs threatened to destroy her again as she remembered the scene that took place there only a few days before.

^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^Flash back^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^

Kagome sat smiling widely on her small deck, staring up at the full moon. She giggled softly and gleefully as her mind raced over the thing that made her life mean something. `He loves me,' she thought. `He wants to marry me because of me, not to get power... I've known him for so many months. He's changed...I can tell. I can't wait until the wedding!' she giggled carefree as any bird or butterfly.

She twirled around breathless and giddy, looking like a goddess in the pale moonlight. Her loose kimono twirled around, giving her grace and beauty. She was so immersed in her thoughts of weddings and the man she loved that she almost missed the rustling in the bushes. Almost. Her keen hearing picked up on it, and she peered into the darkness trying to pinpoint exactly what it was. She saw dark shadows move into a clearing after the short line of trees that gave it just enough privacy to feel alone.

Now Kagome had always been curious, even as a 17 year old that curiosity still breathed within her. She quickly climbed over the short railing, and ran barefoot silently across the yard until she peeked through the bushes into the clearing.

She gasp at the sight. It was her love, with a woman not herself in his arms. From her point of view, the woman's face was away from her, but her fiancées god like face pressed against that woman's was all she saw. She didn't care who it was, she wanted to hurt them, to plead with them, to hate them. Yet somehow, the only one she could feel any malice towards was Inuyasha, her beloved prince in shining armor.

She walked forward in a dream-like daze, and stopped mere feet from the scene that was shredding her heart to pieces. Those pieces stood in a broken heap on the ground, and Kagome didn't even bother to pick them up.

"Inuyasha…" she whispered.

His dog like ears picked up the slight whisper immediately, and he tore his face from the womans'-who Kagome now saw as her servant kikyo (*blech* : P). Tears welled up in her eyes, as Inuyasha stared blankly at her with his intense eyes.

Her hand reached up to caress his cheek, but it froze in midair, and curled into a fist. She brought the hand to her chest in one quick motion while whirling around and bolting for all she was worth.

"Kago-"Inuyasha was breaking away from kikyo, yet just as he started to escape, his eyes glazed over, and he wrapped his arms around kikyo again.

"Good boy," kikyo murmured as his lips captured hers in a passionate kiss (do you know how much this pains me to write this?! For christ's sake I hate the damn woman with a passion!).

^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^End Flashback^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^

Kagome held a handkerchief to her face before she collapsed onto her pillow and her heart cried out yet again of its utter anguish. She would not-could not- live much longer like this. Soon, she was to die.

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"How long will nee-chan stay in her rooms?" a young boy of about 12 asked.

"Until she comes out I suppose, Souta," a man presumed to be his father answered.

They sipped their tea in silence. Souta brought a rice cake to his lips, and chomped down sullenly. `What exactly happened to nee-chan? What isn't she telling us?' he thought sadly.

The maid that had just spoken with Kagome walked in, and sat down beside the girls' father.

"What is her answer today, Matsuni?"

"Same as yesterday, and the day before that as well Higurashi-sama. She still does not care whether she is presentable or not," the servant Matsuni replied, with her head bowed in respect.

Her father-Taisho-nodded, and waved his hand, dismissing her. Souta opened his mouth, but Taisho held up a hand. "No more," he commanded.

Souta nodded, and walked to his rooms-which was next to Kagome's. He stopped and heard her weeping inside. `When is she going to stop? When will her eyes finally run dry?'

Tadaa! Ok, I know this is short, but it's just the prologue. More chapters to come soon (and also another story) but that's not important right now. Ehehe...I'm working on the next chapter to A Slaves Love, but I can't type it on my computer (I can type it in school though) cuz I was banned from it (*cries*) because I got into a fight with this bitch. Anywho, enough with that...lets get onto some more interesting topics.

Translations~

Tatami mat- traditional Japanese bed

Shoji screen- rice paper. It was used in a wooden frame as a door traditionally

-sama~ highest form of politeness. Used when speaking to elders, noble families, adults, and shop owner/employee to customer

Nee-chan~ informal term for elder sister I believe

I think that's about all of them...if not, then say it in a review if your curious. Ok, well Ja ne!

Always~ Kagura-hime aka jen