InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ iHanyou ❯ Chapter 1 ( Chapter 1 )
Anime/Manga: InuYasha Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Comedy / Drama / Romance | Type: One Shot | Uploaded On: 02.11.2024 | Pages: 9 | Words: 13.8K | Visits: 200 | Status: Completed
A/N – Hi all. Yes, I’m still alive. Recently I was invited/encouraged to get back into enjoying Inuyasha fanfiction again, and I definitely have been. I actually wrote most of this first chapter six and a half years ago, but never bothered to finish the story. I read the draft on a whim the other day and cracked myself up, so I decided that this might be worth completing. I hope you enjoy.
This story does take certain liberties. The Inuyasha manga ran from 1996 to 2008, so I always assumed that it took place in the late 1990s. The technology shown in this story simply didn’t exist back then. But that aspect of the story is meant to be humorous rather than completely lore-accurate, so hopefully these liberties are forgivable.
Final Disclaimer: the title to this story does not mean that the devices described herein belong to any particular brand. I actually conceive of them as being from some fictional brand that doesn’t exist in real life. I just liked this title.
iHanyou
Inuyasha tilted his head back to gaze up at the brilliant blue sky overhead and sighed, his lips quirking upwards in the ghost of a smile. Today was going to be a good day. Kagome was finally returning from her four-day absence. Not that he missed her. He just hated sitting around doing nothing while Naraku was out there concocting his next vile scheme. Sure, he spent a lot of time by the well, but only in case she decided to come back early. The girl attracted trouble like dung attracts flies. It was the reason he had been here ever since dawn this morning, waiting as the sun reached its apex and began descending toward the western horizon. Not because he missed her.
Too bad you don’t really believe that.
“Keh,” he snorted aloud, dismissing his own contradictory thoughts.
In the next moment he glimpsed the telltale glow of magic emanating from the well, and caught her revitalizing scent on the breeze. Internal argument completely forgotten, he jogged to meet her, his dampened spirits lightening with every step. He made sure to school his features into a mask of casual indifference by the time he leaned down and held out his hand. She took it, allowing him to pull her and her bag the rest of the way out of the well. He took the bag from her and shouldered it, noticing in passing that it was a bit heavier than usual. What did she have in there, a big sack of rice? Whatever. The weight was still nothing to him. He also had more pressing concerns, like why she was standing there fidgeting nervously, as though she had something to tell him that she knew he wasn’t going to like.
“Out with it, wench,” he told her, crossing his arms over his chest and glowering down at her. She glanced up at him, all sweet and doe-eyed, reminding him of the time she’d confessed to allowing Miroku steal the jewel and a half-dozen occasions since. Now he knew he wasn’t going to like the next words out of her mouth.
“Well, you see…I flunked my test today. The teacher said I could make it up…next week.”
“No,” he answered bluntly, turning to stride calmly off toward the village, his demeanor indicating that the matter was settled. Not that he really believed it would be that easy.
“Inuyasha!” she snapped, jogging to catch up, then stomping alongside him. “You don’t get to tell me ‘no’ and then walk away, you jerk!”
So much for sweet and doe-eyed.
“Not happening, wench. You promised that if you got four days in your time, I wouldn’t have to hear about that ‘skool’ bullshit for a whole lunar cycle.”
“But these are extenuating circumstances!”
“Keh! You can take your ecsta—ecsten—whatever circumstances and shove it! A promise is a promise.” There. She couldn’t argue with that. It was nice to hold the moral high ground for a change.
“Inuyasha…” she growled, to which he nearly cringed, recognizing that tone very well. Suddenly the moral high ground didn’t seem so secure. No, she’d promised him! He just needed to put his foot down, that’s all.
“Forget it, wench. We’re leaving today to hunt for Naraku and the jewel. There’s no way in hell that you’re coming back here for your ‘test’ next week.”
She only continued to glare at him, her silent fury causing the hairs on the back of his neck to stand on end.
“I said ‘no,’ wench! No way, no how. Not happening. No way in hell! NO!”
* * *
“Damn it all,” Inuyasha swore under his breath, leaning against the outer wall of Kaede’s hut, tapping his foot impatiently as he waited for the humans inside to prepare for their journey. After a civil and intellectually stimulating discussion, he had been magnanimous enough to grant Kagome a small concession concerning her humble request to return to her time for her make-up test.
That was his story and he was sticking to it.
Wherever their journey had taken them, he would carry her to the well on the day before her test, and then carry her back when she got home from school. All told, the detour would probably cost them an entire day of travel, if not more. But it beat sitting around the village for several more days. Although, at the rate the damn humans were moving, or rather, not moving, they would still be here by the time her damn test rolled around!
“Oh, I almost forgot!” he heard Kagome chirp, the excitement in her voice drawing his attention. “Inuyasha, can you come inside?”
“Why the hell should I?” he grouched. “You lot should get your asses out here so we can go!”
“But I got you a present!” she declared in a sing-song tone, one which had him blushing at simply hearing it, as well as the prospect of receiving a gift from her. He gulped, took a moment to regain his composure, and then stomped inside the hut as though he was only doing so to hasten their departure. Kagome beamed, then reached into her bag and handed him a rectangular package wrapped in brightly colored paper.
“Okay, go ahead,” she announced, the words not even fully out of her mouth before Shippou began tearing into his own package with gusto, the kit having been barely restraining himself while waiting for her to hand out the last gift. Miroku and Sango followed suit with more composure, but their eyes glowed with excitement and curiosity. Inuyasha snorted at their antics, then removed the paper of his own gift as though he didn’t give a shit what was inside. He fumbled once or twice, but it was definitely not because his hands were trembling.
Inside the wrapping paper was a box, and inside that box was another tuft of paper, concealing a small black device. It took him a moment to realize why the device seemed so familiar, but when he did his eyes widened in alarm.
“What is it, Kagome?”
“Well, Shippou-chan, it’s a cell—”
“No!” Inuyasha shouted, drawing everyone’s attention.
“Inuyasha, what’s wrong?”
“No way in hell, wench. Take these back!”
“Wh-why should I?”
“Wow, cool! It lit up!” Shippou shouted, eyes aglow with childish fascination. Inuyasha grimaced. Shit. He had to get rid of these things now before his friends became too attached to them! Unfortunately, Shippou was quick enough to duck out of the way of his desperate lunge, leaving him sprawled across the floor with nothing to show for his efforts.
“Hey, this is mine! You have your own, Inuyasha!”
“Hand it over, you little twerp! That thing is evil!”
“What?” Kagome exclaimed. “It’s not evil, Inuyasha.”
“The hell it ain’t, wench! If you won’t take ‘em back, I’ll destroy ‘em!”
“Osuwari.”
THUD
The room was silent for a few moments except for muffled cussing. Finally Kagome squatted down next to her prone companion, her tone lowered to a gentler octave.
“Why don’t you like cellphones, Inuyasha?”
“I already told you, wench,” he snarled. “They’re evil little pieces of shit.”
“I doubt Kagome-sama would give us anything evil, Inuyasha,” Miroku interjected, turning the device over in his hands. “It seems harmless enough.”
“You of all people should know that looks can be deceiving, bouzu. Oh look!” he mimicked theatrically, “the beautiful woman I was hitting on is actually youkai who wants to eat me. How ever could I have known?”
“He does have a point, Houshi-sama,” Sango observed, stifling a giggle.
Miroku sighed in exasperation. “Well, then why don’t you explain why you feel that way?”
“Uh…” Inuyasha uttered as he scrambled for an explanation which would convince them. He knew why he hated those things, but if he just came right out and said it, they would laugh at him. He was just going to have to bullshit his way through this instead.
“They’re, uh…distracting! Yeah, distracting! You should see the wench! Walking into walls and tripping over her own feet ‘cuz she constantly has her nose in it. That kinda shit will get you killed in this era.”
“What?! You made that up!” Kagome retorted. “You’ve never seen me do any of that. You’re just mad because I accidentally ignored you that one time.”
“Keh, th-that ain’t it!” he replied lamely. “And ‘that one time,’ wench? You do it every time I’m on your side of the well!”
“Ah, so that’s the real reason,” Miroku whispered to Sango, nodding sagely.
“What a petty guy,” the taijiya responded. The entire exchange was picked up by sensitive triangular ears, the owner of which was none too pleased. Somehow his attempts to bullshit everyone had resulted in him stepping in his own mess.
“So what if I ignored you!” Kagome exclaimed. “It was only once…well, okay, maybe more than once.”
“All the time, wench!”
“You’re exaggerating.”
“Am not!”
“Are too!”
“Wench!”
“Baka!”
“Bitch!”
“Osuwari!”
THUD!!!
Once again, only the sounds of muffled cussing permeated the room. Miroku took the opportunity to try to move the conversation in a different direction.
“Kagome-sama, what exactly does this ‘cellphone’ do?”
“Lots of things! There are games, all kinds of apps, you can send messages, you can talk to each other, you can—”
“Wait, talk to each other? As in, through the device?”
“Could we use these to communicate with each other during battle?” Sango interjected excitedly, her warrior’s upbringing shining through.
“Sure, Sango-chan. Here, let me show you.” Kagome pulled a similar device from her own pocket, fiddled with it for a moment, then pressed it to her ear. Sango’s device vibrated in her hand, causing her to jump slightly.
“What do I do?”
“Push that green button right there and hold it to your ear like I am.”
Sango did as she was told while Kagome hurried outside the hut.
“Hi, Sango-chan.”
Kagome’s voice sounded so clearly and unexpectedly in Sango’s ear that she almost dropped the phone again.
“Wow, Kagome-chan. That’s amazing!”
“Yeah, I guess we take it for granted in my time, but it really is amazing.”
“How is this possible?”
“Um…it’s kind of hard to explain. They can send invisible signals to each other through the air.”
“Oi,” Inuyasha cut in, climbing to his feet with as much dignity as he could muster. “She told me that cellphones need a special ‘net work’ from her time!”
“Did you hear what Inuyasha said, Kagome-chan?”
“Half the village probably heard him.”
“Oi!”
“Tell Inuyasha I bought these phones with a special walkie-talkie function so they can communicate without a satellite.”
“Uh,” Sango hedged, turning to Inuyasha, her head practically spinning. “Kagome-chan said…um…”
“I heard what she said! Ask her what the hell any of that gibberish actually means!”
“It means that the phones will work on this side of the well. We just have be within a few kilometers of each other.”
“How far is that?”
“Pretty far. Why don’t we test the range as we’re traveling later?”
“Oi! That’s not happening, wench!”
Miroku, who had moved to stand behind Sango so as to listen to the exchange—both of them momentarily too distracted to realize the opportunity this presented for his wandering hands—chose that moment to rejoin the conversation.
“I can see many practical uses for this.”
“It certainly would have been helpful in certain battles we’ve fought,” Sango agreed.
“Like Mount Hakurei,” Miroku added grimly, resulting in cringes from his companions. That particular battle had featured multiple instances of the group becoming separated for one reason or another. Being able to coordinate their movements would indeed have been advantageous.
“I don’t care!” Inuyasha snapped, stomping his foot for emphasis, since everyone seemed to be ignoring his bellowing. “Wench! You are taking these back to your time right now!”
Kagome sighed into the phone. “Stubborn baka.”
“You hear me?! There is no way we are keeping these damn things, and that’s final!!!”
* * *
“Damn it all,” Inuyasha swore under his breath. “Fucking stupid things…”
It was getting to be late afternoon now. The good news? They were finally on the road, and making decent progress. The bad news? After a civil and intellectually stimulating discussion, he had been magnanimous enough to—ah, fuck it. There was no sense in deluding himself anymore. They had all ganged up on him, taken Kagome’s side. And when he moved to smash his own phone in a gesture of defiance, she had sat him. Several times.
He was starting to think that he never got his way on anything. He fingered the rosary around his neck, tugging once ineffectually. It was all the damn rosary’s fault, of that he was certain. Without the stupid necklace, he would be the boss. Everyone would have to listen to him and do what he said, especially Kagome.
Yeah, right, the annoying little voice in his head quipped. She’s got you wrapped around her little finger, rosary or no.
He really needed to learn to shut up once in a while.
Bzzzt
He stifled a groan. At first, the cursed little device which he had been forced to stuff inside his robes had been quiet. Kagome and the others blabbed for a while as she taught them how to call each other and send ‘text messages.’ He actually had a pretty good idea what those were already, but he chose not to acknowledge that fact because that would mean participating in this foolishness and he wasn’t going to participate.
Bzzzt
That didn’t stop his damn phone from vibrating. At least a hundred times now. Every time he let his guard down for even a moment, the damn thing would surprise him and he would have to fight to keep himself from jumping.
Bzzzt
Damn it! He had resolved to ignore it, but it was becoming increasingly difficult.
Patter patter patter patter
And the constant noise! Every time one of their fingers touched a symbol their phones would let out the most irritating sound. He was starting to feel like his ears would forever ring with the pitter patter of typing fingers.
Bzzzt
He somehow restrained the fire threatening to shoot from his ears. He wasn’t going to give them the satisfaction of knowing they had gotten to him. Was he supposed to get pissed and make a scene just so they could gang up on him again? Forget it. He was made of cooler stuff than that.
Bzzzt
Be cool.
Bzzzt
Be cool. Don’t blow up.
Bzzzt
Patter patter patter patter
Bzzzt
“That does it!” he shouted, whirling around to face his startled companions. He shoved his hand inside his robes and tore out his phone, holding it aloft for all to see. “Why the fuck does this thing keep vibrating?!”
Bzzzt
“Wah!”
That final vibration caught him completely by surprise. The phone slipped from his grasp, and acting on reflex he spent the next few seconds frantically and gracelessly trying to catch it, only to have it elude his fingers several times before he finally managed to snatch it out of the air. It was only afterwards, when he discovered that all of his friends were trying with varying degrees of success not to laugh at him, that he realized his mistake. He had just missed a golden opportunity to be rid of the phone with no ‘osuwari’ attached, by accidentally dropping it, ‘accidentally’ failing to catch it and perhaps ‘accidentally’ stepping on it as well. Now the damn thing was still in his hand, alive and well, and he was turning into comic relief. Needless to say, he was not happy.
“Kagome,” he ground out, barely trusting himself to speak. “Make this fucking thing stop vibrating, or I’m going to smash it into a million pieces!”
“All right, all right, calm down, Inuyasha. You were just receiving our group messages.”
“So let me get this straight. You idiots have been sending messages to each other, and to me, while we’re all right here?”
They all nodded.
“So why don’t you just fucking talk to each other?!”
Shippou snorted, already focused on his phone once again. “Why would we talk to each other when we can text?”
Inuyasha swore he heard the metallic screech of his own brain crashing to a halt. For a few moments all he could do was gape like a dying fish. Why would we talk to each other when we can text? How was he even supposed to respond to that? How did the world make any kind of sense if that was allowed to pass as logic? Perhaps sensing his stupefaction—and how it was only fueling his rage—Kagome spoke in a somewhat conciliatory tone.
“Of course we’ll still talk to each other, Inuyasha. But texting is new for them, and it’s fun. We kept you in the group message because we didn’t want to exclude you.”
“Didn’t want to exclude me?” he repeated darkly. “I want you to exclude me, wench. If this fucking thing vibrates again I’ll—”
Bzzzt
“Son of a—”
“Fine!” Kagome snapped, the fierceness of her tone stunning him into silence. “I get it. Everyone, I’m going to start a new group message. Please don’t respond to the old one anymore.”
With that, she stuck her face in her phone and marched right past him, leaving Inuyasha with the distinct impression that he was being ignored. By everyone, for that matter. Good. Better to be ignored than have to deal with that fucking phone vibrating! If the wench was mad at him, then that was her own problem. He was the one who should be mad, not her. Although…had he imagined the twinge of hurt in her tone? Even now, her scent was muddled, whereas it had been exclusively bright and excited up until this point.
“We kept you in the group message because we didn’t want to exclude you.”
He shook his head. That was stupid. He’d told her in the beginning that he didn’t want any part of this. He had nothing to feel guilty over. Not a damn thing.
So why wasn’t the blessed stillness of his phone as satisfying as he thought it would be?
* * *
Inuyasha breathed a sigh of relief after everyone fell asleep that night. He secluded himself in a tree overlooking camp as soon as he finished eating, put off by the strange mood hanging over the group. Kagome hadn’t spoken another word to him all evening, and the others seemed to be treading cautiously. They put their phones away before dinner and didn’t take them out again, even Shippou, who seemed afraid to start another argument. As far as Inuyasha was concerned, all of this was a positive development. That nagging feeling in his gut notwithstanding, the one that seemed like remorse but couldn’t possibly be remorse because he had no reason to feel remorse…
Finally curiosity got the better of him. He snorted and drew his phone out of his robes, activating it as he’d seen Kagome do. For some time he fiddled with it, trying to figure how out to access his messages. The others seemed to have such an easy time manipulating the little device, but his claws constantly got in the way and he didn’t have Kagome to tutor him. He refused to think about whose fault that was. Whatever. The damn thing clearly wasn’t designed for hanyou, and that was not his fault. He had just about given up in a fit of frustration when he finally managed to press the right button. The first message he saw was from Shippou, telling everyone how much of an immature baka he was. Resisting the urge to leap down and throttle the kit where he slept, Inuyasha scrolled up and quickly realized the messages were in chronological order from top to bottom. He scrolled all the way to the top and started to read.
The first message was from Kagome, consisting of the words, ‘Hi guys!’ He rolled his eyes. This was going to be a colossal waste of time.
For once, he was absolutely right. Their messages were just inane, everyday stuff. Talking about the weather, if there were any villages where they were heading, some questions about Kagome’s world, some badly-concealed innuendo from Miroku, the latter of which earned a reply with the word ‘slap’ from Sango. He caught himself chuckling under his breath. Okay, so the fact that Sango had sent the bouzu a slap instead of actually slapping him was kind of amusing. It was not funny. Nor was Miroku’s ‘grope grope’ message, Sango’s ‘whack on head’ response, Kagome’s plea to ‘knock it off, there are children present,’ or Shippou’s final declaration that he had ‘seen it all before.’ Nope, none of that was funny at all. He just had something stuck in his throat. It was coughing, not laughter.
The next message was from Kagome, and it was a little yellow face which seemed to be laughing. After that there was a mad scramble, as everyone wanted to know how to use faces. Kagome told them how, and for a while their words were interspersed with various faces and other symbols which were identifiable individually but which formed no discernable pattern as a collective. Shippou’s favorite seemed to be the little brown one that looked like a turd, which he used to answer every question sent his way. Shippou, what would you like to eat tonight? Turd. Shippou, what’s your favorite thing in the whole world? Turd. Shippou, if you could learn to transform into one thing, what would it be? Turd. Again, not funny at all. Damn, this was a really bad cough.
The rest of the messages were more of the same. Then they abruptly stopped, ending with Shippou’s final message. Inuyasha felt a momentary disappointment before shaking himself out of it. Good riddance! The last thing he wanted to do was play their foolish games. It was all such pointless, stupid shit, and yet…it did seem like fun.
“Keh!” he grunted aloud. This adventure of theirs was one of life and death. They didn’t have time for fun. Anything that distracted them from their purpose was stupid. Stupid and useless and foolish and a waste of time. And if it was fun too, then oh, well. He would miss out. He had asked to be excluded, after all.
Does life really have to be so miserable?
He snorted again, shaking his head. Nevertheless, a hint of longing seeped into his gaze as he glanced down at his companions. Finally he closed his eyes and settled himself against the trunk, resolving to try to get some sleep. He didn’t often fall into a deep slumber while they were traveling, but he did try to rest when he could. Somehow he sensed that it would be futile. He doubted that he would have an easy time getting his mind to settle down tonight.
* * *
The following morning found the Inu-tachi continuing their journey toward no particular destination. Sleep had eluded Inuyasha, as expected. But he was absolutely not cranky from his long and lonely—er, restless night. He was just annoyed about the damnable devices-which-shall-not-be-named.
Patter patter patter patter
“Yes!”
He stifled a growl. Soon after they broke camp, Shippou had discovered the wonders of modern ‘mobile games.’ Kagome had quickly asked him to turn the sound off, which averted another confrontation. But the kit occasionally let out exclamations of jubilation or disappointment, depending on how he was doing. Inuyasha wasn’t sure what was more annoying, the fact that Shippou just couldn’t seem to shut the hell up, or how the sounds the kit made perked his own curiosity. Part of him wanted to look over Shippou’s shoulder as he played, or better yet, try his own luck at a game. And that inquisitive desire pissed him off to no end.
“Does this mean I beat the game, Kagome?”
“It looks like it, Shippou-chan. Good job!”
“Yay! I’m gonna find something else to play.” There was a few moments pause. “Hey, Kagome? What does this mean?”
“Sorry, Shippou-chan. If you want to play that game, you have to wait until the next time I go home. Remember what I said before?”
“You said if there’s another ‘app’ we want, we should add it to the ‘queue’ and you’ll ‘download’ it the next time you go to your time?”
“That’s right. I had Souta install a lot of games on your phone though. I’m sure you can find something you like.”
“Okay!”
Sure enough, within a few minutes the sounds of Shippou playing yet another game could be heard. Morning turned to afternoon, and then early evening with little else being said. The others occasionally used their phones, but for the most part they seemed content to watch Shippou play or simply observe their surroundings. All of that changed when a high-pitched tone rang out, sounding like a warning of some kind.
“What does this mean, Kagome?”
“It means your battery is running low, Shippou-chan.”
“What does that mean?”
“It…uh…well, your phone is running out of energy.”
“Like life energy?”
“Sort of…”
“So it’s gonna die?!” the kit exclaimed, sounding as though he was on the verge of panic.
“No, Shippou-chan, it’s not going to die. More like…it’s hungry! Yeah, it needs food from my time to stay awake. Otherwise it has to sleep.”
“It can only get food in your time?”
“Normally that’s true…”
“Oh,” the kit muttered dejectedly.
“But don’t worry, Shippou-chan. I’ve got you covered!”
Inuyasha froze in his tracks at Kagome’s cheerful declaration. He had been smirking to himself from his place at the front of the group, any sympathy for the kit easily outweighed by the prospect of not having to listen to him use his damn phone anymore. Now all he felt was a sinking feeling in his gut…
“Inuyasha, could you put my bag down for a second?”
Nope, he definitely didn’t like where this was headed. It was with a sense of resignation—or perhaps morbid curiosity—that he did as Kagome asked. She rifled through the bag for a few moments before pulling out a large rectangular device with a muffled grunt. The thing was about as long as his forearm, from elbow to fingertips, and at least half that distance in width and height. It had odd contours, as well as several strangely-shaped openings which seemed familiar to him for some reason. The Higurashi residence came to mind, but he couldn’t figure out where he had seen those patterns before.
“What’s that, Kagome-chan?”
“This, Sango-chan, is a portable charging station. It contains enough ‘food’ to feed our cellphones for weeks!”
“Wow, cool!” Shippou exclaimed. “Can we feed mine now?”
“Sure, Shippou-chan. Just let me get the cable.”
Inuyasha watched in stunned silence as Kagome pulled a long cord from her bag, plugged one end into the charging station and the other into Shippou’s phone.
“See, Shippou-chan, now it’s charging…er, feeding.”
“Thanks, Kagome!”
“No problem, Shippou-chan. I tried to think of everything.”
I tried to think of everything. Those words echoed inside Inuyasha’s skull. Someone had stuffed his head with cotton, or gotten him wasted without his knowledge. Had to be. Why else would he be so discombobulated? He needed to get this straight. So the runt’s phone finally died, but Kagome had brought something that could bring it back to life? And he’d been lugging this special something around feudal Japan for two days?! And the wench hadn’t even told him about it?!!! She knelt to put the charging station back in the bag, still attached to Shippou’s phone by the long cord. Obviously she meant for him to resume carrying it, but he was having none of that.
“Inuyasha, wh-wha—” she stuttered as he snatched the bag from her and slung it over his shoulder before stomping off, leaving her kneeling with the charging station still in hand.
“Inuyasha!”
He whirled around, his positively livid gaze causing her to recoil slightly.
“I’m not lugging that thing another step, wench! You want it, you carry it!”
“But…I’m sorry, Inuyasha. When I put it in there, I didn’t think you’d mind.” She seemed to be genuinely perplexed by his vehement reaction, but he wasn’t buying that charade for even a moment. This was all part of her vindictive little scheme.
‘Vindictive?’ Really? She said she was sorry. She probably put it in there the other day and then honestly forgot about it.
Nope, he wasn’t going to allow himself to believe that lie. That was exactly what the conniving wench wanted. He could almost hear the little voice in his head heave an exasperated sigh, but he ignored it.
“Keh. Save it. You can carry it, or toss it into a ditch for all I care. I’m done.”
With that, he stomped off, prepared to take the ‘osuwari’ he knew was coming. Kagome had lied to him and he’d called her on it. Once the shock wore off she’d be royally pissed. Instead of shouting the subduing command, however, Kagome merely sighed miserably. She resumed walking, her uneven footfalls informing him that she was carrying the charging station.
That thing is nothing for you, but it would be pretty heavy for her…
And so what if it was? It was her own fault! That’s what she got for purposely keeping its presence in her bag from him. Not telling him it was there was the same as lying about it.
Does she smell like she deceived you on purpose?
His self-assured gait faltered slightly after he took a few experimental sniffs over his shoulder. He would have expected her to smell of annoyance or anger at having been caught, and perhaps some guilt as well. The latter was there, but the former was not; her obvious remorse was colored only by melancholy. And since he knew that she hadn’t magically gained the ability to manipulate her scent, this meant one of two things. Either she had purposely deceived him and felt genuinely sorry about it, or her deception had been purely unintentional after all.
And in either case, should you really be treating her this way?
He didn’t have a response to that. So he kept his mouth shut, as they continued on their journey. Gradually Kagome’s gait became more uneven, her breathing more strained, occasionally hitching, as he heard her switch the charging station between hands more frequently…
“Kagome-sama, would you like me to carry that for a while?”
Good. Let the bouzu take it. Then maybe his conscience—
“It’s okay, Miroku-sama,” she grunted.
Damn.
“But, Kagome-sama—”
“I got it,” she snapped, probably harsher than she intended.
Stubborn wench! Was she trying to hurt herself? Or was this some sort of underhanded ploy to guilt him into carrying it? Yeah, that must be it! Kagome thought she was so clever, but she wasn’t fooling him!
You really are an idiot.
He continued to argue with himself until Kagome’s soft cry of surprise reached his ears, along with the sounds of her stumbling. He whirled around and held his breath as she managed to catch herself rather than going down in a heap. Before he knew it he was marching toward her, snatching the charging station from her hand and stuffing it into her bag. That done, he turned and stomped off without a word. He couldn’t pinpoint exactly what he was angry about, or who the anger was directed at, but the emotion was comforting so he didn’t bother trying to figure it out. Shippou’s cord had come loose so his phone was no longer ‘feeding,’ but that was too damn bad for him. He was sure they were all laughing at him, texting each other about how foolish he was, how easy it was to manipulate him.
Paranoid, are we?
Whatever. It was only paranoia if it wasn’t true, after all. And he was pretty sure it was…maybe…
So lost in thought was he, that the soft touch of her hand on his forearm caught him completely by surprise. To suddenly find her so close, her scent cascading over him, caused a reaction which was far too intense for his liking. He swallowed nervously, fighting the urge to put some distance between them, while another part of him desired him to move closer still. In the end, all he could do was stare at her dumbly as he waited for her to speak.
She smiled hesitantly, as though she wasn’t sure what to expect from him. She studied him for a moment, probably trying to discern something about his state of mind, whether or not he was going to bite her head off. Whatever she saw must have encouraged her, for her smile widened, and her fingers tightened just a fraction on his forearm. Even that simple touch was enough to quicken his heartbeat.
“Thank you, Inuyasha,” she told him sincerely, her eyes glowing in the waning light. She paused for a moment before lowering her gaze. “I meant to tell you that the charging station was in there, but with all the excitement yesterday I guess I forgot.”
He didn’t even need to think about it to know that he believed her, wholeheartedly. That still left the problem of what to say in response, an answer at which he groped helplessly for a few seconds.
“I…uh…it’s f-fine, wench,” he finally replied gruffly. “Can’t have you hurting your arms, or you won’t be able to fire your arrows.”
Part of him wanted her to take offense to that, so he could escape this uncomfortable situation. Instead she favored him with a wry grin, as though she knew better than to take his words at face value. Damn her! How did she know him so well? She released his arm and dropped her hand to her side, but continued to walk beside him, still wearing that small, secretive smile. Over time the tension in Inuyasha’s shoulders melted away, leaving only a soothing warmth within his chest. Maybe this situation wasn’t so uncomfortable after all.
Patter patter patter patter
“Yes!”
Kagome had the grace to look somewhat sheepish as he scowled at her. Then she shrugged, as if to say, ‘what can you do? Let Shippou be a kid.’ Inuyasha rolled his eyes, clearly indicating what he thought of that sentiment. But for some reason Shippou’s antics seemed more tolerable than they had before, so he let it go. With any luck, the runt’s ‘battery’ would run low again soon and his phone would go to sleep. Oh, what a tragedy that would be. Until then, he would just have to use some…some…what was that thing that he never used? The one that people were always telling him he needed more of?
Patience?
Yeah, that was it. He could have patience. He wasn’t a child.
Patter patter patter patter
“No, no, no! Darn it!”
Stupid phones. Evil little pieces of shit, they were.
He glanced over at Kagome to find her grinning at him, as though she knew what he was thinking. He scoffed and crossed his arms over his chest, shoving his hands inside his sleeves. The wench didn’t know crap. He was not so easy to read.
And yet, she’s managed to play you like a lute. Again.
He really needed to learn to shut up once in a while.
* * *
Inuyasha tapped his foot impatiently as he waited for the slow-ass humans to finish their lunch. He glared off into space, pointedly ignoring their conversation. He hadn’t said more than a few words to any of them all day, and didn’t intend to start now. Somehow his sour mood was their fault, of that he was sure. Last night after they all went to sleep, he had tried playing one of those dumb games. It had taken him a while to figure out how to even get into one, and even then his fumbling attempts to play had met with utter failure. His clumsy fingers couldn’t seem to press the right buttons at the proper time, and his damn claws didn’t help. In fact, they made it difficult to precisely push any particular button at all, regardless of what he was trying to do. The ‘touch screen,’ as Kagome called it, was truly a cursed entity. Not that he cared that he couldn’t play a game. He’d only tried to play one to confirm what he already knew, that phones and everything about them were stupid. It was no skin off his back if he couldn’t play the stupid game on the stupid phone. Evil little piece of shit, it was. And stupid.
So then why are you so mad?
Keh! He was mad because he still had to put up with this crap. Although, no one had really used their phone much this morning. Even Shippou had cut the shit with his games, probably intent on saving his newly-recharged battery. But they were using them now! So, yeah, that was the reason he’d been mad…for the entire morning…when they hadn’t been using their phones. Screw logic. It was stupid too.
“Kagome-sama,” Miroku spoke up. “What does this mean?”
Kagome took Miroku’s phone and looked at it, only to throw her head back and heave an exasperated sigh. “Well, I knew that wouldn’t take long,” she muttered under her breath, before favoring the monk with a stern glare.
“This, Miroku-sama, is called child blocker. It means you tried to queue up an app that you shouldn’t have.”
“Houshi-sama…” Sango scolded, shaking her head. Miroku ignored her.
“I see, Kagome-sama. So this ‘child blocker’ is designed to prevent children from accessing apps which are meant for adults?”
“Uh…yeah, I guess that’s right.”
“But, I am not a child,” he stated innocently. Far too innocently.
“And I am not going to be responsible for bringing modern pornography back to the Sengoku Jidai!” Kagome retorted, her cheeks pinking prettily.
“I assure you, Kagome-sama, my interests are purely academic.”
“Oh?” the miko responded dubiously.
“Indeed. I wish to study modern sexual practices and compare them to the practices of this era. I am sure that analyzing the change in customs would prove fascinating. I may even be able to form some hypotheses concerning why those changes have taken place, given what else I know about your world.”
He almost made it sound legitimate. Unfortunately for him, no one was buying it.
Kagome smacked herself on the forehead, chuckling despite herself. “And you really think an app called ‘Sex Portal’ purveys academic material, Miroku-sama?”
“Houshi-sama!”
“I assumed it did,” he replied, wearing a slightly sheepish grin. “Was I mistaken?”
“Obviously. There’s no such thing as ‘academic’ pornography,” Kagome told him, her tone indicating her displeasure at having to discuss something like that aloud. “And before you ask—no, I am not turning off child blocker.”
“Ah, but Kagome-sama—”
“No.”
“But my research!”
“No!” both Kagome and Sango shouted in unison.
“Ah, Sango! Back me up on this! After all, any knowledge I gained might benefit you somed—”
BONK!!!
* * *
Of course, Miroku wouldn’t take no for an answer so easily, not when access to perverted material was at stake. Kagome quickly grew fed up with the wayward monk’s antics, however, and took to marching ahead of the group in an effort to get away from him. When that didn’t work, she pulled a strange cord with three ends from her pocket and plugged two into her ears, and the final one into her phone. Soon Inuyasha could faintly hear some kind of music playing from the buds in her ears, which for her must have effectively drowned out the sounds of Miroku’s attempts at persuasion. The monk soon gave up as a result, but Sango and Shippou moved to join their modern friend and soon all three of them were listening to music on their phones. Sango and Shippou seemed to be cycling through songs often in an effort to find something they liked, but it was abundantly clear that Kagome already had her own selection of songs, and enjoyed them immensely.
Inuyasha swallowed hard, his mouth suddenly dry. Kagome wasn’t doing anything overt, or even anything which might be considered inappropriate. The differences from her normal walking gait were subtle, but the mesmerizing motions of her lithe form called out to him nonetheless. He couldn’t take his eyes off of her. From the top of her head, bobbing with the beat, to the soles of her shoes, she was the embodiment of youthful exuberance. Her arms swung in exaggerated fashion, their graceful arcs varying with the flow of each song. As did the side-to-side swishing of her pleated skirt, which hid her backside from his view but did nothing to conceal the alluring sway of her hips. Utterly captivated, he slid into a state of stupor, his eyes following her every move.
“It’s a wonderful view, eh Inuyasha?”
“Mm,” he muttered distractedly. It took him several moments to realize what he had just agreed to.
“O-Oi! Shup up, bouzu, you perverted bastard!”
Miroku chuckled. “Perhaps you should think twice before calling me perverted, since you have been staring at Kagome-sama’s backside for quite some time now.”
“I-I have not!” he yelled, glancing furtively toward the other members of the group, who remained seemingly oblivious to the conversation taking place behind them.
“Relax, my friend,” Miroku suggested, looping his arm around his companion’s shoulders in what was surely supposed to be a gesture of male solidarity. “There is nothing wrong with taking a few moments to appreciate the female form, when such an opportunity is presented to us.”
Inuyasha shoved him away. “I ain’t like you, pervert.”
Miroku shrugged, his knowing grin causing the hanyou’s face to flush even more than it already was.
“Suit yourself,” the monk told him. “Though appreciating the female form is much more enjoyable when one is no longer in denial about it.”
“Keh!” was Inuyasha’s clever retort, and he was more than happy to end the discussion there. That is, until he turned Miroku’s words over in his head a couple times. Which female form was the monk ‘appreciating?’ Was it just Sango…or was it Kagome too? Inuyasha shot him a sideways glare, but couldn’t pinpoint the exact direction of Miroku’s gaze from his vantage point. The uncertainty caused something hot and irrational to bubble inside him, and he decided to take no chances. He quickened his pace and moved a few steps in front of Miroku, so as to impede the pervert’s view of Kagome. He tried to be surreptitious about it, but of course that didn’t work. The monk’s amused chuckling grated on his nerves, but he let it go without comment, lest he end up making an even bigger fool of himself.
Unfortunately, though his intentions were honorable, acting on them had the effect of bringing him closer to the female form which he had previously been so engrossed in ‘appreciating.’ Once again he found himself unable to tear his gaze from her. And gradually, a ‘few moments’ grew into something more as the afternoon, along with the object of his fascination, sauntered slowly on.
* * *
That evening, as the Inu-tachi was sitting around the campfire waiting for the fish to cook, Miroku asked Kagome to show him how to listen to music as well. The miko was happy to oblige, probably because such a request could not possibly involve anything perverted. Or so she must have thought. When the monk started chuckling under his breath sometime later, Inuyasha attuned his sensitive hearing to the music coming from his friend’s ear buds. He couldn’t make out all of the lyrics, and he didn’t understand some of what he could make out, but it was enough to learn why the monk was laughing. He rolled his eyes and resolved to ignore the pervert, which is what everyone should have done.
“What’s funny, Houshi-sama,” Sango asked once the song was over. Not having the advantage of superhuman hearing, she had no chance of discerning the lyrics and had obviously decided to indulge her curiosity. It was a decision she would probably come to regret.
He really should warn her…but it would be more amusing if he didn’t. What to do…
“Come listen with me,” Miroku replied, holding out one of the ear buds to her. When Sango favored him with a dubious look, he cracked an innocent smile. “Relax, Sango, I don’t bite.”
“I’m not so sure,” she muttered, nevertheless scooting closer to him and putting the bud in her ear. To her surprise, Miroku grabbed one of her hands gently in both of his own, staring deeply into her eyes as the song began. Sango stared right back, like a frightened deer, her heart thundering audibly in her chest. Inuyasha almost felt bad for her.
There was the strum of a guitar. Then a deep male voice began singing over the ear buds, practically dripping with passion. To Inuyasha’s surprise, Miroku joined in, singing softly. His attempts to match the sensual quality of the singer’s voice seemed to fall flat to the hanyou, but Sango obviously didn’t think so, if the darkening of her cheeks was any indication.
Crap. He really should have warned her.
“Baby, you know, you’re the one for me,” Miroku sang, drawing out the appropriate notes with a passable vibrato. “And all, that I want, to be…is…”
There was a brief pause, during which the entire Inu-tachi seemed to be holding its collective breath, albeit for different reasons. For Inuyasha, the temporary paralysis stemmed from a mixture of dread and anticipation.
“You! And me!” Miroku sang, the tenor of his voice changing completely, as did the beat of the song which followed.
“And her! Simultaneous.”
It was interesting to observe everyone’s reactions to this ‘startling’ revelation—one which they all should have anticipated in Inuyasha’s opinion. Sango yanked back her hand and flung the bud from her ear as if she’d been burned. Kagome hung her head, groaning with disappointment, and Shippou merely rolled his eyes and returned to his game. Fortunately, no one seemed to notice Inuyasha’s own small bark of laughter, which he swiftly covered up.
“You, and me. And you and you.”
Meanwhile, Miroku closed his eyes and continued to sing the song, ignoring all of them. The bouzu hadn’t motioned to any particular ‘her’ while singing his perverted lyrics, so he didn’t have to worry about Inuyasha kicking his ass. But with his eyes closed he didn’t see Sango reaching for the nearest hard object she could find, which happened to be a stick of firewood.
“Simultaneous lovin’, baby. Two or thr—”
CRACK!!!
“Ah, Sango…” Miroku groaned, rubbing his head.
“You deserved that one, Miroku-sama,” Kagome declared.
“Definitely,” Shippou chimed in.
“I was just having a little fun,” he defended. “You know, Sango, you really are the only one for me.”
She snorted, brushing off his words. Still feeling somewhat guilty for not warning her, Inuyasha decided to say something as well.
“I wouldn’t worry about it, Sango. The odds of the bouzu finding even one other woman willing to let him into her bed are slim to none. Never mind ‘two or three.’”
“Inuyasha!” Kagome scolded, nevertheless hiding a giggle behind her hand.
“My friend, you wound me!” Miroku moaned, as though he’d suffered a deep betrayal. “I’ll have you know that I’ve had plenty of offers from lovely—”
“Youkai disguised as women. Yeah, we know. It’s a miracle you’re still alive.”
To that Miroku could only sigh in his ‘I am so misunderstood’ sort of way, which drew amusement even from Sango.
“You know, Houshi-sama,” she observed, “that song is perfect for you. At first it seems kind of romantic, but then you realize it’s just perverted.”
Miroku sighed again, then quickly perked up.
“So, you think I’m ‘kind of romantic,’ Sango?” he inquired slyly.
The taijiya’s eyes widened as she realized her mistake. “I-I didn’t say that.”
“I believe you did.”
Sango growled. “Fine! I’ll admit that you have your moments, those rare, isolated occasions when you’re not being a complete pervert.”
“When you find me romantic,” Miroku repeated, waggling his eyebrows.
“Baka,” she declared, ending the conversation by moving to check the fish. They were done, so the Inu-tachi settled in to eat together.
During the meal, Inuyasha noticed that Kagome seemed somewhat embarrassed and upset. He thought to ask her what was wrong, but Sango beat him to it.
“Are you okay, Kagome-chan?”
“I’m sorry about that whole thing, Sango-chan,” the miko apologized. “I’m going to kill my little brother the next time I see him! I asked him to put some music that boys like on everyone’s phones, but I told him to keep it appropriate. I should have known better.”
“It’s okay, Kagome-chan. Houshi-sama was bound to find a way to use his phone for perversion at some point.”
Miroku sighed dramatically once more, drawing laughter from the group. Inuyasha was glad when Kagome’s negative emotions did not return. He was genuinely enjoying the meal, just sitting and talking with friends. No evil little pieces of shit ruining it. And it probably helps that you’re not being a cranky asshole right now either. He chose to ignore that thought.
Of course, the peace couldn’t last; the phones came out again after dinner. Muttering under his breath, Inuyasha leapt up into a tree and assumed his perch for the night. He tried to ignore the activities taking place below him, out of principal or spite, he wasn’t sure which. But it was all new to him, and he was curious, so his ears consistently turned in that direction despite his suddenly sour mood.
“Gah!”
“What’s wrong, Houshi-sama?”
Miroku let loose an exaggerated groan, rubbing his temples as though attempting to massage away a severe headache. His ear buds lay on the ground where they had been carelessly discarded.
“I feel like my ears have been violated,” he complained. “What on earth is that, Kagome-sama?”
The miko looked up from her studying and held out her hand. She grimaced as soon as she put the buds in her own ears, handing them back to Miroku as quickly as she could.
“That’s called ‘heavy metal’ music. I have no idea why Souta and his friends like it. To me it’s just loud noise with people screaming at you.”
“Really?” Sango interjected, sounding mildly intrigued. “Let me see.”
To everyone’s surprise, Sango did not instantly reject the song as her companions had. Instead, she closed her eyes and seemed to get into it, turning up the volume and bobbing her head to the heavy, driving beat. Toward the end of the song there was what sounded to Inuyasha like an extended instrumental portion, and Sango didn’t seem to know what to make of it in the moment. But she was all smiles when she removed the buds and returned Miroku’s phone.
“That was great!” she exclaimed. “It’s like ‘getting pumped for battle’ music.”
Miroku and Kagome shared a dumbfounded look.
“And what was that at the end? Someone was playing an instrument by themselves, over the rest of the group. He was playing so fast but I could still hear every note! And towards the end it got really high-pitched and screechy. It was crazy, but also melodic. You know?”
“It sounds like you’re describing a guitar solo, Sango-chan,” Kagome replied, still sounding somewhat shocked.
“I wanna hear more of that!” the taijiya declared excitedly. “What was the name of the artist?”
Miroku told her, and in no time Sango was rocking out to more heavy metal on her own phone. Kagome grinned and shook her head, but then a few moments later her thoughts took her down a path which caused her to chuckle repeatedly.
“What’s funny, Kagome-sama?” Miroku inquired casually.
“Oh, I’m just imagining Sango-chan as a girl from my time. The picture of rebellious youth. She’d probably be in a band, with dyed hair and dressed like a punk rocker.”
“I don’t know how a ‘punk rocker’ dresses, but I suspect I would like the look on her.”
“I’m sure you would!” Kagome agreed, laughing harder. Even though it was a private joke meant for one, Inuyasha still found himself smiling contentedly. He didn’t even bother to wipe the expression away once he realized. It was okay if the sound of her laughter made him happy. It was even okay if Miroku’s perversion was the cause of it, as Kagome struggled through her mirth to turn down the monk’s requests to bring back an outfit for ‘heavy metal Sango’ to model for him. For ‘research purposes,’ of course.
The evening wound down after that. Kagome finished studying, phones went away and everyone turned in.
“Goodnight, Inuyasha!” she called to him softly. The hanyou didn’t respond verbally, but he did extend his arm and wave as casually as he could manage. He didn’t need to look at her to know that she saw it. Of course she saw it. She always looked after him when he isolated himself from the group, even when it was for the legitimate purpose of taking a high perch for keeping watch. Warmed by that knowledge, he closed his eyes and relaxed, his nose and ears nevertheless remaining alert for anything which might threaten those he held dear.
A/N – In case you haven’t guessed, I definitely identify with Inuyasha in this story. I do not live on my phone and there are times when I genuinely hate it. But it has its uses (like reading fanfiction when I’m stuck waiting somewhere).
By the way, the song Miroku was singing is “Simultaneous” by the late Isaac Hayes. Obviously Miroku isn’t listening to the English-language version. But I assume there are similar songs in Japanese by other artists, so I don’t think it’s that much of a stretch. The lyrics were just so perfectly Miroku.